Being a leader isn’t an easy task. It requires strength, intelligence, respect and courage. Traits that if one lacks, they can’t satisfy their peoples’ needs, or get them successfully through the worst times. They cannot keep them safe, protected…Away from the pain and the despair that a war or a difficult situation brings. However, the traits of a worthy and capable commander alter between two different tribes. Two different worlds, like those of the space and the ground. Nevertheless, they both have one thing in common. They would do anything to protect their people and bring them to the light, no matter what they must sacrifice in the way. That’s how they show their strength to the outsiders and how they prove their trust to their own. By staying strong through it all and by trying to ignore their feelings.
We all must admit though, ignoring how we feel just because it’s the right thing to do is more than difficult. Some would say unachievable. Even the toughest leaders out there find it hard to do that and most of all, Clarke, the sky princess. Ever since she came down from the Ark, along with 99 more people, she’s been trying to save everyone. She has proven that she deserves to be in charge and has defeated her own demons and all this, without even trying to pressure everyone into listening to her. She was born a leader. Just like Lexa.
Lexa, the commander of the grounders has learned that in order to be respected and followed by everyone, she has to push away every kind of feeling. Good or bad. Either if it has to do with killing someone, or protecting them. But it is that forbidden love that has caused her all this underlying pain and suffering. Losing her beloved has made her fearless, cruel. Because she knows that she has nothing better to lose. This, however, can change. Because Lexa isn’t heartless. She’s just confused and most of all, scared. But she would do anything to hide this humiliating thing. Like turn against the people she trusts. The pain has taught her not to love. Can love teach her how to forget the pain?
The leaders of the two tribes are now in the commander’s tent, just a few hours before the attack. After a small argument between them, which was about to cost Octavia’s life, but fortunately didn’t, resulted to Clarke going to see Lexa to ask her why all this had happened in the first place. She had caught Gustus in the woods, about to kill the poor Sky Girl, just because she knew the truth about the missile. Walking into the tent, the rage could be seen in the blonde’s eyes. She faced the commander and kicked the back of Gustus’s knee harshly, letting out an annoyed groan. She demanded to talk to her about this, so she would finally come to her senses. Gustus had soon left the tent, after Lexa’s command, so the two women were now alone.
“What the hell is wrong with you? You can't just kill everyone you don't trust.” Clarke says seriously, approaching the brunette.
“Yes, I can.” Lexa replies, walking around the tent arrogantly.
“Well, I won't let you!” The blonde says while following her around, trying to prove a point.
“You were willing to let her die two days ago.” Lexa points out. “Nothing has changed.” She adds.
“You're wrong…I have.” Clarke says, making eye contact. And she is dead serious about this. She has changed. The war, the suffering, the constant feeling of losing someone. Feelings have made Clarke stronger. That’s what has kept her people alive for so long. Having something to fight for is the biggest type of courage. “I can't do this anymore.” She states, starting to walk away. She has had enough of all this madness and everyone plotting against her people.
“Octavia is a threat.” Lexa says instantly, more so to make her stay longer, but also to remind her that it is hard for her to trust anyone. After all the people she has lost, she has learned not to be miserable. She has a different way of coping, which has made her forget what it is like to care about someone more than yourself. But she has missed that feeling. And whenever she’s around Clarke she keeps being reminded of what it is like to trust someone. After Costia, the woman she was in love with, was killed by the Ice Nation trying to gain information on Lexa, she decided to detach herself from people emotionally, believing love was a weakness she could not afford to have. She has basically forgotten how to love and how to be loved. What it is needed for one to be able to give someone their mind…Body…Soul. She keeps acting like she doesn’t care whether the blonde will stay to continue this conversation, but deep down she knows that it’s the one thing that will make her feel calm. Whatever they are saying. Arguing or not, Lexa wants Clarke to keep talking. The sound of her voice and her delicate figure makes the commander want to be around her for as long as possible. “If you weren't so close to her, you'd see that.” She adds after a small pause.
“It's because I'm close to her that I know she's loyal.” Clarke says, turning around. She is rather upset about all this, but knows that Lexa is better than that. “Her brother is more important to her than anyone. She would never endanger his life.” The two women are now facing each other.
“And you're willing to risk everything on that? On your feelings?” Lexa asks, not admitting that she used to do that before losing Costia. She doesn’t want Clarke to know how weak she is.
“Yes. You say having feelings makes me weak. But you're weak for hiding from them!” Clarke is right. The commander is hiding. Why? Because her weak, but true self would be unacceptable from her people and considered unworthy to lead. After losing all that matters to her, her people are her number one priority. If she stops protecting them or loses their trust she will have nothing to fight for. She will be nobody. “I might be a hypocrite, Lexa, but you're a liar. “You felt something for Gustus. You're still haunted by Costia. You want everyone to think you're above it all, but I see right through you!” Clarke says seriously, moving towards her threateningly, urging her to take a few, slow steps backward. It resulted to Lexa being pinned against a crate, with a very upset blonde giving her a look as if she was about to hit her. The brunette feels attacked and unable to get herself out of this uncomfortable situation without giving in on her feelings.
“Get out.” She says rather angrily, tearing up slightly. She hasn’t cried in years and she doesn’t know how to make it stop. It makes her feels weak, but the fact that Clarke is facing her makes the situation more bearable. This is when Lexa realizes that she actually has feelings for the leader of the Sky People. And she feels attracted to her now more than ever. She blinks a few times trying to keep the tears from rolling down her cheeks. The blonde can read her and understand her better than anyone and she doesn’t even have to talk about how she feels. Clarke can see right through her. As much as Lexa hates being confronted about all this, she needs someone to show her that it is normal to let go sometimes. She doesn’t break eye contact with the furious woman.
“Two hundred and fifty people died in that village. I know you felt for them. But you let them burn.” Clarke growls, their faces now inches close. The blonde is not enjoying what is currently happening. She hates it actually. She hates having to fight with someone that means so much to her. She knows that Lexa isn’t as harsh as she seems. She knows that the underlying pain is what is making her behave like this. So arrogantly and unkindly. But she wants to help her relive this pain. Make her feel better and get her to express herself. Get her to become the person that she said goodbye to after Costia died. Get her to become loving, caring and fearless again. She needed to show her. Pull her out of her dark hole and give her a chance to flourish and embrace the people that want the best for her and not just push them away due to her irrational fear.
“Not everyone. Not you.” She whispers tearfully. She is certain that she won’t be able to keep the tears back for much longer. She almost begs with her eyes for Clarke to stop reminding her that she is heartless and loveless.
“Well, if you care about me, then trust me.” Clarke says, her face softening. She realizes that Lexa can’t take all this judgment and hates hearing the truth from her. The only thing that she wants is to help her become the best version of herself. And she would do anything to help the woman she trusts, respects and hell, even loves.
“I don’t just care about you Clarke…” Lexa whispers and finally stops fighting back the tears. Admitting that she is in love with Clarke is the one thing that she can not do right now. But the conversation has come to a point where there’s no coming back.
Their lips are now so close that they are almost touching. They can feel each other’s hot breaths and they both think it is one of the best things they have ever felt. Clarke looks at the brunette and her breath hitches as she realizes how close they are.
“I love you…” Lexa continues, swallowing hard. She has finally said it. She has finally admitted that she is feeling something. And this feeling is the strongest of all. Love. A few tears are streaming down the commander’s eyes and Clarke is almost certain that she has never seen anything more beautiful and purer than that. The way she looks at Lexa is even stronger than how she was looking at the ground when she first stepped foot on it with the 100. She gives her a gentle smile, showing her that she’s safe with her. That she did not mind what she had just said. A smile that shows that she feels the same.
Clarke takes her hand slowly, entwining their fingers. Knowing that Lexa trusts her and only her to do this after so long is really flattering. At this point, the commander was getting impatient. She glances down at Clarke’s lips for a moment, with her signature pouty look and then back into her eyes, searching for the affection that they are now lacking. For a moment she gets scared that the blonde regrets being in this situation, but the affection is soon replaced by lust. And Lexa seems to be enjoying this even more.
The brunette slowly closes the gap between them and they share their very first kiss.
Lexa cannot believe it. They are kissing. And Clarke is kissing back. In the back of her head, she can’t ignore the fact that the blonde didn’t say “I love you” back, but it’s the last thing she cares about. She is focused on her partner’s lips…How soft and perfect they are. How passionate and sweet their kiss is. How their tongues are dancing together. Right when Lexa expected for her to take control of the kiss, she feels the shorter girl wrapping her arms around her waist and lifting her up slightly, to help her sit on the crate. Clarke starts to claim dominance, smiling brightly against her lips.
When a small moan emits from the brunette’s mouth, Clarke instantly knows that they will not stop anytime soon. And she doesn’t mind. The quite opposite actually. In the few time she has gotten to know Lexa, she has come to understand what kind of person she is and has come to appreciate every moment they spend together. Knowing that the commander is not the “commander” in this situation, she finds the courage to trace her back with her fingers and place them on the few buttons that keep her tight shirt…Tight. She slowly breaks their kiss, just to look into her expressive eyes to see if what she is doing is acceptable by her. Lexa looks back at her, her eyes full of love and affection, something that Clarke sees in her eyes for the first time. It’s as if she’s begging her. Begging her to show her what it is like to belong to someone. Besides…The paint around her eyes makes her look ten times hotter…She swallows hard and takes Clarke’s underlip between her teeth, biting down softly. The blonde is now breathing heavily, ready for everything that is about to happen.
Now that she knows she is allowed to take it a bit further, she starts lifting Lexa’s top. She takes a sweet moment to look between their bodies and admire her toned stomach. It is full of scars and wounds. Every fight she has been in has left a mark on her body and her soul. She looks at them. Feels them, before smiling up at the fragile woman. Slowly running a few fingers along it, she feels Lexa’s hands on her jacket. With a small nod, the garment goes flying in the tent and Clarke can only smirk.
“Pretty aggressive there, Grounder…I like it…” She husks against her lips and feels her smile, after resuming their kiss.
Getting confident, Lexa removes her own shirt completely. It’s the first time that she exposes herself like this…But she’s glad she gets to do it with her. Clarke stares at her delicate body for a moment and then back at her face. She’s beautiful and that fact that she trusts her makes it even harder to resist.
The brunette gets off the uncomfortable crate and takes Clarke’s hands, not breaking their kiss. She starts walking backward, leading her to the “bedroom” area of the tent. Lexa lies down and Clarke falls right on top of her, loving their passionate make-out session. Lexa’s arms around her waist, her breath hot and fast, her partly naked upper body mouthwatering… Clarke doesn’t want it to end. She wants it to last forever. The pleasure she gets from just this is immeasurable.
“Wait…” Lexa whispers against her lips and the blonde pulls away slowly. Clarke starts getting worried, thinking that she regrets everything they’ve done so far. “Can I tell you something?” She continues, her cheeks flushing darkly.
“Anything…” Clarke nods, looking into her eyes.
“Um…” She takes a deep breath, thinking that what she is about to say would be humiliating. “I’ve never done this before…” She mumbles, her lips slightly touching Clarke’s. She had never done this with Costia. They had been close to doing it in the past, but her responsibilities as Anya’s second were keeping her from having a private life, or one without every day worries. She loved Costia. She still does. She just wishes they had a little bit more time. Now all she can do is forget about her, it is the one that that will help her move forward.
The fact that Lexa had just admitted something so personal to the shorter woman, would, under different circumstances, be intimidating. Fortunately, thanks to how much she trusts her, it somehow made her feel confident and stronger. She doesn’t know why. All she knows is that she’s about to have her first time with a woman that she is truly in love with. Under this cold and harsh attitude, Lexa is the sweetest person. This is exactly why Clarke smirks every time she hears her say the smallest thing that can be an implication of how much she cares about her people, or her in particular.
The woman on top gives her an understanding smile. It is really flattering that Lexa feels comfortable and confident enough to say it. Remembering her first time, Clarke knows how she must be feeling. And she only wants to make it better. “It’s ok…Trust me…” She smiles down at her and pecks her lips. Lexa’s facial expression is so calm and relaxed, as she smiles back at her. “Let me take care of you Heda.” She adds, using a common phrase in Trig, that means “commander” to make her feel even more content.
Lexa is speechless. She bites her lip and kisses her again, wanting to show her how much she appreciates how loving her understanding she’s being, in this very moment. She doesn’t know what to expect. She doesn’t know if it hurts. She is inexperienced, but she knows one thing… She wants this with Clarke and she can’t imagine doing it with anyone else in the world. They make quick work of each other’s clothes, not even caring where in the tent they are throwing them. The way that Clarke pulls Lexa’s black, leather garments off her body, makes the taller girl let out a soft moan in her partner’s mouth, enjoying every moment of what’s happening.
Clarke has noticed how much of a bottom Lexa actually is and she loves every minute of it. They are now naked and their bodies are pressing against one another, making the sensation unique. The shorter woman starts kissing, licking and biting her neck, making her go crazy. The fact that this is her first time means that Clarke can do anything with her. Cherish and take care of her. Explore every inch of her body and make her feel the best she’s ever felt.
Lexa moans quietly under the blonde, who’s motions are gentle and loving. “This feels so good…” She whispers, closing her eyes. Her body starts moving in sync with Clarke’s, who instantly realizes how wet she is, due to the heat between her legs. Lexa has never been in this situation before. Never been so turned on, or in love. Her face was calm, but she had this pouty, innocent expression that would always make the blonde go crazy.
Clarke focuses on her pulse point, soon leaving a red mark. Now everyone will know that Lexa is hers. Because she wants her to be hers. She wants to spend every moment with her from now on.
Lexa's breath hitches when the blonde presses a soft kiss on the dark love bite. She can feel herself getting wetter by the second. She likes how gentle she is being, but the sexual frustration and the need for some kind of friction make her tangle her fingers in Clarke's hair, guiding her head where she needs it most.
Clarke looks down at the woman's full breasts and the view is mouthwatering. She hadn't noticed them properly until now. They are a bit bigger than her frame would suggest, as she had only ever seen them covered by tons of leather, tight clothing. She could tell by the first moment she saw her that her body was amazing. Slim, delicate, spotless, apart from the countless tattoos along her back, that the blonde admires so much. She happened to see them while undressing Lexa a few moments earlier, but didn't say anything. Only stared. She likes that they have an actual meaning and that they're not one of Lexa's numerous bad choices. Back in the Ark, people would get tattoos just for the fun of it, but on the ground, the human body is a canvas. Every tattoo depicts a situation, someone's personality, their social status, the memorable things they've done for their people. The possibilities are endless. However, it's undeniable that Clarke also finds them beyond sexy.
Licking her lips, she approaches the perky nipple with her mouth, but not before giving the girl a reassuring look. Seeing her face at this point makes her melt. She's so graceful and yet so seductive. The soft smile that hasn't left her face since they got into bed gives Clarke the confidence to take the lead. It's both encouraging and calming. It makes her feel as if she's the only woman in the world. Like she's Lexa's everything.
And she is. She's the commander's end and beginning.
When she finally gets close enough she lets her tongue roll around the pink, sensitive nub and feels Lexa's whole body vibrate. The brunette lets out a loud, brief, high pitched moan and places her hand on her mouth, not wanting anybody to hear. Clarke can only smirk. She will show mercy...
She starts sucking her breast roughly, while reaching for the left one with her free hand, kneading her nipple. This is when Lexa loses it. Endless muffled moans leave her mouth as she moves around slowly, in sync with Clarke's body, which by the way, doesn't go unnoticed by the brunette. Having taken a look earlier, while they were making out, she came to the conclusion that the ground doesn't make people as fit as she thought. The girl has a toned stomach and well-defined muscles. She isn't man-like at all. The quite opposite actually. Her figure is nothing but sexy and mesmerizing. She is definitely Lexa's type.
Before she knows it, she's moaning even louder. “Clarke...I need more...” She breathes out, her eyes rolling back. And Clakre can't refuse. She can now feel her own core throbbing as she rests on Lexa's left thigh, her legs spread. She is sure that Lexa can feel it too and from the way she is reacting, she's sure she likes it.
Lexa watches eagerly while Clarke trails her hand down her body, stroking her stomach, abdomen, hip... She lets her hand rest there, taking her sweet time to admire her beauty. She looks into her eyes and smiled softly.
“Are you sure about this Lexa?” She whispers and Lexa is lost for words. Clarke has never said her name out loud until now. She didn't call her Heda, she didn't call her commander, she didn't call her grounder, but Lexa. It sounds sexy when it comes from her...Dangerously sexy... Especially because her voice is kind of husky and raspy. She can't tell if she used this tone on purpose or accidentally, but it made the wetness between her legs increase. Finally realizing that Clarke had asked her something, she looks deep into her eyes and nods. She is determined to do this. She's more than ready, but she can't ignore the underlying fear that is slowly growing inside her. Of course, this is just because of how inexperienced she is. Other than that she trusts Clarke and knows that she will take care of her.
“Make hodnes kom me Klark” (Make love to me Clarke) Lexa husks sexily and grabs her wrist, leading her hand between her legs, which she spreads as soon as the blonde's index finger touches the top of her thigh.
And Clakre instantly understands. She knows what Lexa wants and she's going to give it to her, because she needs it equally as much, if not more.
The woman on top changes her position in order to make it appropriate and comfortable for both of them. When she figures out where she's supposed to be in order to have enough access and space for both of them to move, she starts drawing patterns with two fingers on her inner thigh. Lexa closes her eyes and throws her head back discreetly. She doesn't know what teasing is but she's starting to figure it out by the second, because while Clarke is busy doing this, Lexa feels some of her slick, hot juices drip down her thigh. She knows that she needs touching and she needs it now.
Clarke looks between the woman's legs, surprised at how wet she is. She licks her lips sexily, her eyes filling with lust as her hand gets closer to her core. She finally cups her vagina gently and Lexa moans loudly. She can't believe that she is actually touching her where nobody else has touched her before.
Seeing how vulnerable and lost in the moment the brunette is, Clarke drags her finger through her slit slowly, but adds some pressure. This sent chills down Lexa's spine, who let out a breathy moan. “Fuck!” She says. She had only recently found out what this word means from a Skaikru member, so she thought it would be appropriate to use it right now.
With a smirk, Clarke gathers up some of Lexa's warm juices on her finger and brings it close to her own mouth. Her eyes full of lust and her heart shaking. Just for special effects, she sucks her own finger clean, not breaking eye contact with the brunette. But she actually tastes amazing. She tastes rather sweet and for some reason, Clarke can't get enough. She bents down and rests her face between her legs, before giving her drenched folds a slow, steady, greedy lick. And Lexa loses it.
“Clarke! Gosh!!” She moans and starts moving her hips, hoping for some more contact and friction. She doesn't know what is next, but this feeling of anticipation is turning her on even more. Before she knows it, Clarke is eating her out, her tongue is rolling around her clit and more juices escape her tight entrance. She can't hold back her moans and she feels a tingly sensation on her stomach. It feels as if she is going to explode and a wave of pleasure will run through her.
Clarke realizes that Lexa is close to orgasming. She can read every single of her thoughts, just by her movements. She pulls away and smirks, just because she doesn't want Lexa to cum just yet. She wants this to last for a while and wants to properly take her virginity, since she asked for it. She also wants her to discover what sex is really about. Not just pleasure, but love and deep understanding of the other person.
Lexa lets out an annoyed groan and tries to create some friction, by subtly rubbing against the mattress. It feels nothing like the previous sensation but it gets the job done. Making eye contact with her, she feels her hands rest on her hips and gently trying to stop her from movies. She obeys and bites her lips, her cheeks red. “Why did you stop? Please continue...” She whispers desperately.
“This is just the beginning...I'm not letting you finish before properly losing your virginity.” She smiles a little and reaches up, cupping her cheek.
Being impatient, Lexa decides that she needs to show Clarke how much she wants this. How much she needs this. She places her hand over Clarke's on her cheek leads it closer to her mouth. Looking at the finger she had previously used to tease her, she takes it in her mouth and rolls her tongue around it a few times. She had just tasted herself...And she tastes amazing.
“Gosh Lexa...That's so hot baby...” Clarke mumbles and bends down, their faces inches away. Lexa is surprised with the pet name, but being the softie that she is, she realizes that it is actually flattering and affectionate to have someone call her that. She takes the finger out of her mouth and decides to pull Clarke ever closer, crashing their lips together. Both girls moan loudly. Lexa is tasting herself in her mouth and it makes the kiss even hotter and the taste even stronger.
Without having any control over her emotions, the taller girl can only speak the truth. “Please...Show me how it feels...I need you, Clarke. I've never needed anyone more that I need you right now...” She whispers and Clarke knows. She knows that the fragile, beautiful girl before her needs relief. She knows how eager she is to finally feel something other than sadness in her life.
“Wait...Before I do that...I umm...I wanna say something first.” She meets her tone and blushes darkly. Swallowing hard, the girl on top speaks up. “Ai hod yu in seintaim. (I love you too)” She smiles softly and looks into the commander's eyes.
Lexa is lost for words. Before she knows it she's tearing up, smiling brightly. She didn't expect for Clarke to say it so soon and it really took her off guard. But she loved it. She loves it. She loves the blonde before her and would do anything to protect her. Hearing this from her means the world. She is now more than ready to experience this with her, be with her officially.
Clarke cups her cheek and kisses her tears away. “Promise me you'll tell me to stop if you're in any pain.” She whispers carefully and pecks her lips when Lexa nods. She wants her to be comfortable during this whole thing and to be confident enough to express herself at any given moment.
The girl on top runs her hands down her body, slowly scratching it with her nails, to make it look as sexy as possible. When her hands rest on the inside of her thighs, she looks into her eyes and cups her core with her right hand. Lexa lets out a breathy moan and spreads her legs slightly, giving Clarke more access.
And Clarke's fingers get to work. She places her index finger on Lexa's clit and starts drawing circles slowly. She's applying some pressure when she sees Lexa bite her lip, knowing that she's enjoying it. After a few moments when she is sure that the brunette is wet enough, she trails her fingers lower, teasing her tight, drenched entrance. She can't help but moan at the sight. Lexa is soaked and it's all for her. Feeling cocky, Clarke smirks slightly and leans forward, biting Lexa's lip.
“I didn't know a person could get this wet...” She husks and kisses her neck while dragging her fingers along Lexa's folds.
“Shof op! (Shut up)” Lexa says, being more sexually frustrated than ever.
Clarke can only chuckle at the girls reaction and looks back down between her legs to kind of see what she's doing. Placing her index finger right on Lexa's entrance, she starts pressing against it to enter her. Her finger slowly slides into the woman's tight hole and Clarke goes in and out. Her moves are gentle and she doesn't forget that this is Lexa's first time. She instantly looks up at her to see if there is anything wrong.
“Are you okay?” She whispers seriously.
“Yes...Please keep going...” Lexa meets her tone and she is sure she has never felt better in her life. It is kind of painful, but it is worth it, since the pleasure she gets from this is indescribable. Before she knows it another finger enters her and she loses it. She emits a brief, high pitched moan, a sound that she didn't even know she could make. She grinds her hips down on Clarke's fingers, wanting her to go faster.
And Clarke knows. She makes her motions faster and curls her fingers every time she buries them deep inside the brunette. She hits her G spot in every single thrust, loving the sounds Lexa is making. She looks down at her chest and her breasts are bouncing and look ready to be devoured by her mouth. She dips down and takes her right nipple in her mouth, sucking, slurping, biting and licking it like there's no tomorrow.
“Clarke! Oh my god!!” Lexa says and is about to have her first and most explosive orgasm ever. She feels Clarke push a third finger inside her and she loves every second of it. Going ever so faster, Lexa can't keep herself from moaning uncontrollably.
“Let go Lexa...It's okay. I've got you...” Clarke whispers in her ear.
Lexa feels a wave of pleasure run through her and almost screams Clarke's name. She doesn't care who is around, hearing them. All she cares about is that Clarke is there and that she loves her. She feels like she's burning, but in a good way and she is certain that she has never experienced anything like this until now. She pants and desperately tries to catch her breath, tilting her head to the side a little so that Clarke wouldn't notice her dark red cheeks and the cute smile that she just couldn't control.
“And this is called an orgasm, my dear.” She says quietly and places her hand on her cheek, so she would turn her head to face her. She smiles softly at the woman before her and places a tender, loving kiss on her full lips.
“Ai hod yu in, Clarke” Lexa whispers into the kiss and hugs her tightly.
“I love you too, Lexa...”
The girls don't know each other as much, but they have all the time in the world to talk and spend time together, taking care of each other and their people. Make them understand that violence, war and torture is never the only choice. Bring them peace by showing them how to appreciate, respect and love others.
After all, life should be more than just surviving.