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Unconventional

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Tony walked through the crowd, for once in his life not noticed because he was Tony Fucking Stark.

Instead, he was Iron Man. A fake one.

He’d made the costume himself just for this convention. It looked good, but not like his real suit. For one thing, it wasn’t made of metal. For another, he’d made it just imperfect enough to be a decent Iron Man cosplay.

Yeah, he was pretending to be himself. But he had a reason.

Tony was at HeroCon because he’d heard there would be a bunch of Loki cosplayers. Tony, endlessly attracted to danger, had a massive hard-on for the real Loki. He was intelligent enough to know it was a terrible idea to hit on the god of mischief, so instead he was looking for a substitute. A fake Loki. Just for a hookup, just long enough to hopefully get Loki out of his system.

Tony’s costume had a crotch flap. For Reasons.

He’d been there for a couple of hours, and had propositioned two different Lokis. They’d both turned him down. It was a pity, because one was awfully pretty.

Tony was scanning the crowd, watching people take pictures of another Iron Man and a Black Widow together. Huh. People shipped that? Nat wasn’t even his type. Too scary.

“Hello, Iron Man,” a deep voice purred from just behind him. Tony turned around. It was a Loki.

The costume recreated Loki’s armor and leather almost perfectly. This Loki was a little shorter than the real thing, but his face and voice were close enough to the real thing that Tony’s dick twitched.

“Loki. Are you here to cause mischief?” Tony asked.

“Maybe. Tell me,” the Loki said, “would you be up for a little action with your favorite villain?”

Tony grinned behind his mask. “Maybe. What did you have in mind?”

The Loki looked him up and down. “Can you get to your dick without taking the helmet off?”

“I can.”

“Good.” The Loki licked his lips. “I’d love to suck you off. I have a hotel room upstairs. Interested?”

“Very. Lead the way.”

Tony was thrilled. He followed the Loki out of the con, to the elevators, and up to the top floor, all in silence. There wasn’t much to say. They were both fulfilling a fantasy, and talking would just remind them their hookup wasn’t the real thing.

Inside the Loki’s hotel room, the fake god didn’t waste any time. He dropped to his knees. “Take your cock out, Iron Man. Show me what else about you is iron.”

Tony snorted at the cheesy line, but undid the fly of his outfit. His erection bobbed free.

“Very nice,” the Loki said. He took a condom out of his pocket, unwrapped it, and put it on Tony’s dick. Without waiting, he took Tony’s entire cock in his mouth.

Tony gasped, and the Loki moaned. The Loki really, really wanted this. Almost as much as Tony did, he guessed. Thankfully the Loki was not wearing a helmet, so Tony was free to tangle his gauntleted hand in the Loki’s hair. It wasn’t a wig, thank fuck, and Tony was able to tug the Loki’s head down on his cock experimentally.

The Loki moaned again, and sucked faster. Tony took a chance and gripped his hair tightly and fucked his face shallowly. The Loki pressed himself closer, forcing Tony’s dick down his throat.

The guy was an amazing cocksucker. He kept his teeth out of the way and used his tongue just right and seemed to have no gag reflex. Tony tried to hold out as long as he could, making the fantasy last. He imagined this was the real Loki, practically choking on his cock, moaning like it was the best thing he’d ever done.

Even trying to draw it out, the guy was too good. Tony came hard, wishing the Loki could swallow his come.

As he caught his breath, the Loki stood and expertly removed the condom from Tony. The Loki’s dick tented his pants.

“Handjob?” Tony offered.

The Loki nodded eagerly and quickly freed his erection as Tony removed a gauntlet. Tony stroked the sizeable cock that was weeping pre-come everywhere. The Loki grabbed a bottle of lube off the dresser and poured a little on his dick. Tony made a loose fist and used all the tricks he knew to get the Loki off. The guy gave head like a pro; the least Tony could do was make the man come just as hard.

The Loki moaned, fucking Tony’s fist as the guy held onto Tony’s shoulders. The Loki was stronger than he looked. Tony twisted his wrist with each stroke, until the Loki came, shuddering, all over Tony’s costume.

Tony gently released the Loki’s cock and smiled, even though the guy couldn’t see it. Tony found a box of tissues on the tiny desk and wiped his suit and hand off.

As he walked toward the door, he turned to where the guy stood looking out the window. “Thanks for the blowjob, Reindeer Games.”

The Loki turned to look at him. “What did you just call me?”

“Uh. Loki’s helmet has horns.”

The Loki stalked towards him. “The only person who has ever called me that was the real Tony Stark.” Faster than Tony could react, the Loki pulled his helmet off.

The Loki stared.

Tony blinked. “Hi?” he said.

The Loki sighed, and shimmered for a moment. When the green light faded away, the real Loki stood before him, still holding the fake Iron Man helmet. “Hello, Stark.”

They looked at each other for a long moment.

Tony grinned. “So how long have you wanted me?”

Loki winced. “Since you offered me a drink during my invasion. You?”

“Why do you think I offered it to you?”

They stared at one another again.

“Well, this is awkward,” Tony said. “If you’ll give me back my helmet, I’ll leave and we’ll pretend this never happened.”

“Or,” Loki replied, “we can take advantage of this bed and I can fuck you until you scream my name.”

Tony thought about it. “You aren't going to try to kill me?”

“Only if you tell people how we got here.”

“Fair.” Tony started peeling off his fake suit.

He should have known he’d never settle for anyone but the real thing.