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Mostly limericks

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Brooklyn 99, Amy/Rosa sapphic stanza:

Filing kinks is necessary paperwork.
Keeping lusts aligned, communication
Flows from gestures into a tidy drawer
Dictating passions.

*

Discworld, a broadside ballad Sam Vimes hates*

There was a battling Duke of Ankh (Morpork, Morpork)
Who plowed down villains like a tank (Morpork! Morpork!)
His household fought fierce at his side
From butler to his dashing bride
With dragons blazing, grand old Duke of Ankh!

*Except for the bit about Sybil, who laughs when he calls her his dashing bride.

*

Good Omens, There once was an angel in Soho:

There once was an angel in Soho
Subsisting on kisses and cocoa.
He made love in a flutter
Amid his bookshop's clutter
And spoke like a stately old homo.

*

Hamilton, Hercules Mulligan double dactyl:

Higgledy Piggledy
Hercules Mulligan
Renegade tailor tied
Tories in knots,

Managed his shop full of
Haberdashderringdo
Carefully measuring
Breeches and plots.

*

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ford/Fenchurch/Arthur:

There once was a trio who missed
The earth--not because they were pissed--
They soared and caressed
And they left quite a mess
On the landmarks below their fine tryst.

*

Jane the Virgin, on a technicality:

There was a Floridian lass
Who took all her beaus up the ass
But eschewed penetration
Of her own dilation
Until wedding vows came to pass.

*

Jeeves and the preux chevaliers:

The wooing of gentlemen knightly
Can be undertaken too lightly
If cleansing one's palate
With footman or valet
Means finding new liaisons nightly.

*

Middleman, Ida:

Like nylons? Or diapers? Or cricket bats?
The Middleman's bot has an app for that.
Whatever your lust
It's in Ida they trust
To satisfy urges of all formats.

*

Promethean Age, Kit/Annie/Will:

There once was a household in Stratford
Where lovers with fine words were flattered
Three in the best bed
Left no verses unsaid
And left their fine linen bespattered.

*

Rivers of London PSA:

Say "demons of sex," don't say "succubi"
Or they'll disapparate with a "Fuck you, bye!"
To make your night terrific
Skip gender specific
You'll damned well have fun, so give it a try.

*

Star Wars, Han/Lando:

The trouble with fucking a pirate
Is how quickly you have to gyrate
Your hips and your wits
To keep all of your bits
And still have the chance to admire it.

*

Vorkosigan Saga, Miles:

There was a young Vor from Dendarii
Who got rather lustful and starry-eyed
When lasses that towered
Had him overpowered--
He never gave one gal a sorry ride.