Brooklyn 99, Amy/Rosa sapphic stanza:
Filing kinks is necessary paperwork.
Keeping lusts aligned, communication
Flows from gestures into a tidy drawer
Discworld, a broadside ballad Sam Vimes hates*
There was a battling Duke of Ankh (Morpork, Morpork)
Who plowed down villains like a tank (Morpork! Morpork!)
His household fought fierce at his side
From butler to his dashing bride
With dragons blazing, grand old Duke of Ankh!
*Except for the bit about Sybil, who laughs when he calls her his dashing bride.
Good Omens, There once was an angel in Soho:
There once was an angel in Soho
Subsisting on kisses and cocoa.
He made love in a flutter
Amid his bookshop's clutter
And spoke like a stately old homo.
Hamilton, Hercules Mulligan double dactyl:
Renegade tailor tied
Tories in knots,
Managed his shop full of
Breeches and plots.
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, Ford/Fenchurch/Arthur:
There once was a trio who missed
The earth--not because they were pissed--
They soared and caressed
And they left quite a mess
On the landmarks below their fine tryst.
Jane the Virgin, on a technicality:
There was a Floridian lass
Who took all her beaus up the ass
But eschewed penetration
Of her own dilation
Until wedding vows came to pass.
Jeeves and the preux chevaliers:
The wooing of gentlemen knightly
Can be undertaken too lightly
If cleansing one's palate
With footman or valet
Means finding new liaisons nightly.
Like nylons? Or diapers? Or cricket bats?
The Middleman's bot has an app for that.
Whatever your lust
It's in Ida they trust
To satisfy urges of all formats.
Promethean Age, Kit/Annie/Will:
There once was a household in Stratford
Where lovers with fine words were flattered
Three in the best bed
Left no verses unsaid
And left their fine linen bespattered.
Rivers of London PSA:
Say "demons of sex," don't say "succubi"
Or they'll disapparate with a "Fuck you, bye!"
To make your night terrific
Skip gender specific
You'll damned well have fun, so give it a try.
Star Wars, Han/Lando:
The trouble with fucking a pirate
Is how quickly you have to gyrate
Your hips and your wits
To keep all of your bits
And still have the chance to admire it.
Vorkosigan Saga, Miles:
There was a young Vor from Dendarii
Who got rather lustful and starry-eyed
When lasses that towered
Had him overpowered--
He never gave one gal a sorry ride.