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As You Like It

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You didn’t question it for a second when Papyrus offered to run lines with you. Much as he tried to hide any preference from you, he’d always loved Shakespeare.

Especially the comedies—with their happily-ending romances.

But, admittedly, it never occurred to you just how distracting…certain words…might be to hear from the mouth of your lover.

“…I WOULD NOT HAVE MY RIGHT ROSALIND OF THIS MIND, FOR,” Papyrus declares, claws humbly to his chest, “I PROTEST, HER FROWN MIGHT KILL ME.”

Rosalind—and in this moment, that’s you—waves him off, smiling indulgently.

“By this hand, it will not kill a fly,” you chuckle. “But come now, I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition, and ask me what you will. I will grant it!”

Papyrus, your Orlando, takes a hopeful step forward. With earnest eye-lights, he entreats, “THEN LOVE ME, ROSALIND.”

Oh…oh, what a passionate expression! He’s good, he’s very good and it’s a real test of your own acting chops to keep your lines in your head.

“Yes,” you say on a happy sigh, “faith, will I, Fridays and Saturdays and all…”

“AND…WILT THOU HAVE ME?”

Boy, wilt you.

“Ay, and twenty such,” you promise and Papyrus’ sharp teeth form a damnably handsome grin that has you all aflutter for a moment.

Focus, you chide yourself, stay in character!

But try as you might, it’s not Rosalind whose eyes widen, expression dropping in confusion when Papyrus suddenly takes a knee before you.

This …wasn’t in the blocking…

And Orlando’s happy grin wasn’t meant to look more like a smirk, one that was all Papyrus…

And…and there weren’t supposed to be any props in the scene, so…so why…

Why is Papyrus pulling out a ring box and opening it for you?

As soon as the light gleams off the very real engagement ring inside, though, you understand.

“…Oh, holy shit,” you breathe.

And Papyrus, ever the consummate professional at his craft, just quirks a brow at you.

“WELL?” he prompts you. “WHAT SAYEST THOU?”

Bastard.

Bastard, you cannot believe…!

“I ‘sayest’ that if you’re gonna propose to me, you better do it with the right name!”

Papyrus cackles in amusement, but duly says your name and looks you deep in the eye.

“WILL YOU MARRY ME, MY LOVE?”

You could say ‘yes’ and fling yourself at your newly christened skeleton fiancé, to best kiss the absolute daylights out of him.

Or.

You could, lips twitching in an effort to hold back an untamable smile, say, “As You Like It,” just to hear Papyrus’ surprised bark of laughter.

…which is, of course, immediately cut off as you then fling yourself at your newly christened skeleton fiancé, to best kiss the absolute daylights out of him.

This is gonna make one hell of a story for your friends.

Chapter Text

“…NEVER SEE IT COMING, OF COURSE IT’S THE BEST OPTION, BUT I HAVE TO CHOOSE THE PLAY CAREFULLY…”

Sans opens his mouth.

“OBVIOUSLY SHAKESPEARE, IT MUST BE, THOSE ARE THE MOST MEMORABLE, THEY’LL APPRECIATE IT THE MOST!”

Sans closes his mouth.

“SO NOW I HAVE TO NARROW DOWN THE SCENE I WANT, SOMETHING ROMANTIC, SOMETHING PASSIONATE…”

Sans opens his mouth.

“AND DON’T YOU DARE SAY ‘ROMEO AND JULIET,’ SANS, I KNOW YOU HAVEN’T ACTUALLY READ IT, THE ENDING IS NOT THE KIND OF PORTENT I WANT HANGING OVER OUR ENTIRE MARRIAGE, THAT’S A WORSE CURSE THAN THE SCOTTISH PLAY, ABSOLUTELY NOT!”

Sans closes his mouth.

“TWELFTH NIGHT IS A FAVORITE, OF COURSE, BUT I’M NOT GOING TO CROSS-DRESS AND A MISTAKEN IDENTITY LOVE TRIANGLE IS HARDLY PEAK ROMANCE, NO, IT HAS TO BE MORE GENUINE, MORE SINCERE…”

Sans resists the urge to sigh out loud, knowing it would only piss his brother off– which would distract him from his meticulous planning, which would make him start over again, from the top when he got back on track and he’s already been talking for something like twenty freakin’ minutes.

…Still.

Long-winded as Papyrus may be about it, it’s…it’s real nice that he’s got somebody he likes enough to go through all this trouble for. Real sweet…

Sans wonders if, when Papyrus is done talking, he maybe could get a word in edgewise, just to make a suggestion.

Could be nice if he were there when it all went down to record the whole thing, y’know, for posterity.

Plus the look on your face when Papyrus sprung that ring on you was bound to be hilarious.