The stage lights shine blindingly as the rhythmic claps follow with deafening echo and cheers. He wonders distantly if Shyren and Blooky were okay. He didn’t want them to be overwhelmed again. But it was okay since it was the end of the performance and they were starting to go back to the backstage.
Shyren had ran up to her sister who was clapping cheerfully with dripping hands with burgerpants and Moldbygg standing beside her. Mettaton smiled as he realized Shyren was more outgoing and cheerful than she was these past few weeks.
He looked around to realize Blooky was gone. Oh no… Were they too overwhelmed? Mettaton quickly packed up and got outside to go to their shared hotel for their tour.
As he was walking back to the hotel he greeted Aaron and Woshua who were planning on heading out to the beach, complimented the lion on their dress choice for today and told hand receptionist she was doing great and he finally reached the hotel and went straight to Blooky’s room.
He hesitated before knocking… What if they were feeling sad and wanted to be alone? Normally Mettaton wouldn’t hesitate to open this door and comfort Blooky the best he can but… He had lost that privilege. Right now he was just a celebrity… a stranger to Blooky not his cousin.
But before he can convince himself to leave, the door was opened and Blooky looked perfectly fine.
“Oooohhhhh… It’s Mettaton.” Blooky said nervously. They were still a bit timid about being around Mettaton… “Why are you here?”
Mettaton smiled. “I got worried because you disappeared after the performance. So I wanted to check on you.”
“Oooohhh… I see. Oh noooo, I’m being rude.” Before Mettaton could say otherwise, Blooky continued talking. “Would you like to… Come in? No pressure though…”
This was… New. Blooky never seemed to be comfortable around him to invite him to do something if it wasn’t Mettaton who initiated the interaction. He carefully walked into Blooky’s hotel room.
The room looked… Normal. He doesn’t know what he expected since this was a hotel room, not Blooky’s house. The only thing that proved Blooky’s existence in this room was the headphones placed carefully on the bed.
“Uhhhh…” Oh no… He was making Blooky nervous. “After the performance I like to relax… Sooo, I lie on the floor and feel like garbage.”… What? “Would you… like to join me? It’s a family tradition.”
No, this wasn’t the family tradition at all! Yes, minus the feeling garbage part they used to lie on the ground to feel calm and peaceful! Not garbage! Never garbage! Why would Blooky feel like garbage?!
Because of him.
He realizes that Blooky was looking at him expectantly with hope and all of the protests died in his metallic throat as he nodded and agreed.
It was nostalgic… They used to lie down like this before and talk for hours about their dreams or just nonsense, not caring about hiding anything from each other.
“So,” He says after a long silence. “Do you feel pressured on stage? Is it… uncomfortable for you?”
“It’s okay… I got used to it after a while.” Blooky answered. “It’s just that… I’m still surprised that you of all people said I could be a star. That you of all people choose me is still something that baffles me… I guess…” He didn’t like the way Blooky was talking about theirself.
“Why?” Mettaton asked quietly.
“I don’t know… Maybe it’s because I’m too gloomy for stage.”
“Aren’t you happy with the way you are?”
“Ooohhh… I wouldn’t change it for something else… I guess… It’s just that maybe if I was someone better, people would like me more.”
Mettaton sat up, and Blooky followed him with a confused look. He turned to Blooky with a serious expression.
“Blo- Napstablook... Whoever made you feel that way is wrong. You can be a star with the way you are, don't let your insecurities dictate what you can and can't be."
unlike him. "You are perfect, darling.”
“Ooohhhhh…” Mettaton panicked when saw tears scattering around Blooky’s eyes. “Thank you…”
Mettaton felt shame increasing in his soul.
It was his fault Blooky was feeling this way about theirself... And the worst part was Mettaton used to think the same thing about the most precious thing in his life.
When he finally lost them did he realize what he had done.
When he was finally a star, at first he felt like he didn't need anyone; because he was doing this for himself, because he liked being a star and felt like all the others like Blooky and Alphys were in his way, because he was so selfish and self-absorbed...
Then he realized he was getting lonely, so he started to interact with the people in the hotel. He encouraged them, talked with them, he wanted to make them happy.
He realized all of these when he got that phone call from Blooky.
This job… Going up to that stage wasn't about himself anymore. He wanted to inspire people, he wanted them to feel better when they watched him, and even if it made one person happy then he was doing his job the right way.
“I…” He said while getting up. “Should get going.”
“Oh, okay.” Blooky said with a hint of disappointment. “Goodbye.”
He wanted to stay but… It was too much.
“Bye.” Mettaton replied stiffly as he got out of the room and shut the door with hurry and started to walk towards his room.
When he was finally inside of his room, alone from the eyes that looked at him with tears, he gave a heavy sigh as he sat down on the bed.
He was so angry at himself… How could he hurt someone so precious to him? How could have been so blind? But it was too late to regret… He can’t change anything if he’s just going to sit here, doing nothing.
How can he make Blooky feel better about theirself? Does he even have a right to comfort them after abandoning them?
A ringing distracted him from his thoughts. Alphys was calling him.
He hasn’t seen her since her wedding and he didn’t think she would call him. His reaction about Shyren’s sister wasn’t too… Great.
“Hello?” He slowly answered the phone.
“H-hi, Mettaton… How are you?” She asked nervously.
“I’m fine… How is Japan?”
“It’s awesome. We even manage to go on an anime convention! Can you believe there were even h-humans who dressed up l-like mew mew and-“ And she started to ramble about everything she saw on Japan. This reminds Mettaton about their first meeting. They used to talk about anything like really close friends but after getting famous he only talked to her when he needed something about his body. He pushed her away… He didn’t even know about her struggles, maybe he had even made everything worse for her…
“-Mettaton? Are you even listening?”
“Sorry, I must’ve spaced out…”
“… Are you r-really okay?” She sounds worried.
“Not really… It’s about Blooky.” He admitted.
“You still haven’t t-talked to them, have y-you?”
“How can I just come up and say ‘hey I’m the cousin who abandoned you!’ after leaving them like that?”
“But aren't they sad because of you?”
“…” Mettaton looked down, suddenly taking an interest in the white carpet.
“… I’m not blaming you…” No, he is to be blamed for this. “I’m just saying you shouldn’t have l-left them the way you did.” True… What was he thinking? He should’ve talked to Blooky about Alphys, should’ve told them about his plan, not just leave them to come out as a robot Alphys created… “And since all of our skeletons are out of the c-closet…” Her voice shook a little at that. “Shouldn’t you finally sit down and talk to them?”
“I’m just… Worried. What if they hate me?” Alphys was one of the few people he could talk about his insecurities with.
“But you’re not happy about this situation.”
… Would Blooky forgive him after Mettaton abandoning and lying to them? Leaving after telling them he was never going to become corporeal and leave… Mettaton was really happy with his body right now but why is he feeling ashamed of telling this to Blooky?
He sighed. “I’ll think about it… So, did you call to check on me?”
“Y-yeah, I guess… But, I a-also wanted to apologize about Shyren’s sister…” She had already apologized, Mettaton just hadn’t accept it at the time.
“No, Alphys. I should be the one to apologize I just got angry and talked without thinking about what you went through. I’m really sorry… about everything… I acted cruel towards you back in the underground and belittled you. It’s okay if you’re angry at me.” He admitted.
"No, Mettaton, you were right... I was a fraud and a l-liar who did h-horrible things. I'm not mad and I'm not holding any grudges, and with the way I was... you were justified to act like that.
"No, Alphys... It wasn't right. I was so in over my head that I felt like you were in my way and I just want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't realize you were struggling, I'm sorry I treated you like some toy I could throw away and I'm sorry for leaving you alone and for making you feel worse... You didn't deserve all that after all you did for me." If Mettaton had a voice it would've cracked... Hell, if he had tears he would have started to cry right now.
"It's okay..." Alphys says in the end, finally realizing Mettaton wouldn't accept anything else for an answer.
It’s been a while... Since they talked to each other like this honest. Mettaton realized that he missed this, as Alphys was starting to ramble about Japan again to starting to talk about anime tropes and Mettaton realized that Alphys's stuttering’s were decreasing. Good, the therapy must be going well for her. He’s happy that her honeymoon is going great, he’s glad that she’s finally happy.
“Oh no…” Alphys was starting resemble someone. “I hate this trope…”
“What trope?” Mettaton asked with a confused tone.
“The thing where two main characters just won’t talk! Do you know how frustrating it is to listen to them overthink but just do anything but talking for literally five episodes?! I HATE IT!! JUST STOP OVERTHINKING AND TALK ALREADY!!!”
“Okay okay! Fine, I will!”
When he puts down the phone he takes a deep breath.
Alphys was right. He wasn’t going anywhere with this… If he wanted Blooky back, then he had to talk to them.
He steps out of his room and starts walking before any doubt could take over his thoughts. He needed to take action before he starts to overthink and start to be afraid… This was one of the thinks he learned about himself while he went on stage.
He knocks on Blooky’s door without waiting and they open the door slowly.
“Mettaton?” Blooky looks surprised to see him again. He wonders if he upset Blooky by suddenly leaving.
“Hi Bl-“ It was ridiculous that he was still having problems calling them Napstablook. “… Can I talk with you for a moment?”
Blooky invites him inside and Mettaton suggest that they should lie down like they did a while ago.
“Ummm… Mettaton?” Blooky asks hesitantly.
“Yes, Napstablook?” Mettaton answers as calm as he can.
“Is there… something wrong? Did I do something?” Oh no… he did make them nervous after all.
“No you didn’t do anything… I’ve been thinking about what I’ve told you.”
“That being myself is okay?”
“I… feel ashamed of myself…” He finally admitted to Blooky.
“Ohhh nooo… Why?” Blooky got up and floated towards him.
Mettaton sat up and faced them. “Because I used to be a horrible person… I abandoned my family and I only realized these when everything was said and done, and it’s too late to regret what I’ve done.
Blooky looked at him for a moment before giving him a little smile. “But aren’t you trying to better yourself?... I don’t think you’re a horrible person Mettaton… You used go up to that stage even though no one liked the show, but you choose to be yourself and went up to that stage anyway. That’s one of the things I admire you about … you have the courage to be yourself no matter what.”
Ah… he realizes. So that’s why he was ashamed… after bragging about being himself, he refused to face this part of himself. The part where he was insecure, the part where he was scared… the part that kept him from saying the truth, making him think that he was going to be hated... The way he was before getting his body.
But he can’t better himself if he keeps running away from his problems and for that he needs to take the first step.
"Blooky... I need to tell you something." The first step was... accepting and being honest with himself.
“Bl- Blooky?” Blooky’s voice shook and they looked at Mettaton with a baffled look like they were thinking something crazy. “Haha… we-weird, someone used to… call me like… t-that.”
Mettaton smiled and nodded. “I know Blooky… I’m the one who gave you that nickname.”
“You…” Blooky looked shocked before tears start to gather around their eyes. “Is it really you?”
Mettaton nodded. “Yes, Blooky it’s me… I’m back.”
“So the things you said about family…”
“Yes… It was about you.” Unlike what Mettaton expected, Blooky wasn’t crying. “I’m really sorry for abandoning you, for not being with you when you perhaps needed me the most… for everything.” Mettaton closed his eyes. He finally said it.
It’s okay… he would accept anything Blooky says to him. They could yell at him, hate him and not forgive him… and if they decide to not see Mettaton again and quit the group… well, that was Mettaton’s fault from the start.
“… Mettaton.” Blooky carefully said, Mettaton’s eyes were still tightly shut. “Look at me.” Mettaton reluctantly opens his eyes. “I’m glad you’re okay.” Blooky was… smiling. “I was so worried… Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I… I didn’t want to upset you by saying I was leaving after promising you I wouldn’t leave or become corporal…”
“Mettaton… Your life is yours, you shouldn’t force yourself to do something you don’t want to do… And I wouldn’t be happy if you stayed with me rather than becoming a star.”
“But I lied to you! I… abandoned you…”
“I wasn’t saying I wasn’t upset by that… I was just saying that I’m sorry for making you feel like I was imprisoning you… Or being too needy and dependent on you to make you feel like the only way you could leave was... like this."
“No! You don’t have to apologize to me!” Mettaton protests. Never in his life before getting his body did Mettaton ever thought about something like that about Blooky! Never ever!
“Don’t worry, Mettaton. I’m also trying to better some things about myself. I hope to be a better person, someone who could inspire people.” Blooky said while smiling.
This… wasn’t the way Mettaton expected this talk to be. “Blooky… You really aren’t mad about me leaving?”
“I just… hoped you would at least tell me about it before leaving. But after you left… I thought maybe it’s my fault, if I was better… if I wasn’t so needy…”
Mettaton shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault… I became so arrogant, that I forgot what was most important for me... I’m sorry."
"It wasn't your fault, no buts! And I won’t leave my family again… Without at least informing you and them.”
Blooky gave him a serious look. “Do you promise?”
Mettaton smiled. “I promise.”
They stayed silent for a moment. Okay, everything was said and done... Now what?
“So…” Blooky started as they lay down again, Mettaton followed them. "How did you meet, Dr. Alphys?" They asked.
“That’s actually a really funny story…”
Blooky had a lot to catch up on about him, but it was okay. They had time and no one was leaving ever again.