Freedom wasn’t real.
You thought that you had it until the moment capitalism proved you wrong. You could tell yourself and your surroundings that you were as liberal as a bird flying in the beautiful sky; no one stopped you from being ignorant, a total brainwashed zombie by the authorities, fed up with their sweet little lies until the moment you had no deliberation yourself. You were no more an individual, just a fat and juicy cattle raised by them , prepared to give in and blindly follow whatever faith they decided for you.
It kind of reminded him of The Matrix. He remembered watching those movies as a teen, never really understanding the deep thought behind it. The thought that if everything that had happened didn't happen it was going to stay that way. However, a blossom of realization began to form knots and strings in his head, as the messy dots of mysteries or enigmas were coming together into something that actually made a tiny bit of sense.
Or, perhaps, he was just going insane. Which, ironically he would say, made even more sense.
Kaminari brushed his fingers through his hair and growled under his breath, leaning on the edge of the balcony in the Kirishima and Bakugo household. He heard Shinsou humming from the side and glanced at him, frowning. "What?"
"Nothing," he shrugged. "Just checking out that you wouldn't try to commit suicide or something."
"I think that in my circumstances, I can do that and that'll be the best decision for me, actually."
"Didn't remember you being so…." Shinsou leaned with his back next to him, as his fingers pulled something out of his pocket. "So depressed," he chuckled. It was a cigarette pack that he fished one from inside, and then he took out a lighter and lit it up, holding the long stick between his thin lips.
Kaminari pursed his lips. "And I didn't remember you smoking."
Shinsou ducked the lighter back into his pocket, placing his cigarette in between his fingers and exhaled the smoke he already inhaled. The tang filled the air immediately, making Kaminari wrinkle his nose. "I started this after the Shigaraki Incidence, but on the last half a year I do that only when I'm under pressure," shrugged. Then he held out the cigar, eyeing Kaminari from the side.
Silently Kaminari accepted the offer. He never smoked, but in his state, he saw no harm in trying. As for the brand it wasn't some cheap turd; not that he expected anything else from a wealthy enough pro hero. He inhaled the smoke cautiously, letting it permeate through his throat and into his lungs like a foreign aroma of adhesive toxicity-
And then he found himself choking to death.
Kaminari shoved the cigarette back to Shinsou and covered his mouth, trying to clear his throat form the tickling smoke that burned his throat and lungs and made his mouth dry yet filled with the taste of bitter tar.
"Dude this shit’s nasty."
Shinsou laughed, seeming rather amused from the scene. "Yeah, my reaction was pretty much the same."
The blonde snorted, clearing his throat. "You still do it, though."
"I actually thought that you'd be smoking too. Weed at the very least," he said, playing with the stick of cancer between his fingers.
"My therapist wanted me too, but turned out that I couldn't smoke with those meds I took, so yup," Kaminari answered casually, as if he hadn't had a panic attack a moment ago. He didn't forget about the thought that they were poisoning him; he didn't forget about the fact that he was furious. He just didn't know what to do anymore, Kaminari felt drained of power and will to fight at the moment.
He needed his well deserved rest from anything yet everything.
"Well now that you don't take that shit anymore, we can poison you with some better shit."
Kaminari tilted his head, "My heart is so unstable that I really can't tell if that'll kill me or help me. Then again, dying doesn't seem like a bad option at the moment."
"I thought it was your flex to poison yourself?" the sarcastic remark made Denki crack a smile. "We all have those, don't worry. But you gotta burn down the pills, I will personally watch over you so you don't take it anymore."
"I highly doubt that," Kaminari reclined his head toward Shinsou, glancing at him from beneath. "My heart’ll stop again without the Neksomyne, then my body will stop function without Zeidanol, and then… I don't know why do I even take Didactium. Do you see it, Shinsou? The motherfucking absurdity in this?" he demanded, gripping harder at the balustrade. "I don't even know what else the pills are for."
"Why did you agree to take them in the first place, then?"
Kaminari pushed from the edge of the balcony, turning with his back to Shinsou. He tugged at his blond hair nervously, feeling his heart beat increasing with the tension he felt. "You don't understand my situation, Shinsou." he said with a shaker voice than intended. He was trying so hard to keep himself together, to not let everything he was holding inside out because it was simply useless.
"No, I don't," the simplicity in his voice was comforting, giving away the feeling that Kaminari perhaps wasn't that insane. "But I want to. I want to help you, but you need to tell me what I need to know and do, so that I can try in the first place."
Denki chuckled bitterly. "Because that is what heroes do, I know."
"No," that one word cut Denki’s ears sharper than a knife. "I want to do it because-" his voice trailed off for a moment. "Because you’re my friend. Because we’ve known each other for so long. Because there's a lot of reasons but I just want you to trust me."
The silence that settled between them wasn't comfortable anymore. Slowly Kaminari turned to look at him, his gaze distant from reality. He observed Shinsou, as the man took another inhale of the cigarette.
His hair was messy on his head, indigo locks forming a pleasant discord. Eyes sunk in from the lack of sleep, or maybe naturally, however it gave away a cold charming vibe that Kaminari grew to admire in the past three days. His body structure reminded him of a Greek God: the way his t shirt hugged his massive shoulders and chest, lined on his rather delicate hips, yet didn't look as if it was going to tear apart like it looked on Kirishima. His legs were in a nice form, the bow legged type - but it looked beautiful with all the muscles he gained in his years of performing as a hero.
Kaminari vaguely remembered the Shinsou he used to study with for two years in the hero course. The only thing he could state doubtlessly was that from a grumpy teen, the guy developed himself into a beautiful man of grace and glory.
Yet, Kaminari didn't know whenever it was an illusion, the laugh of fate. Perhaps the heavens was sending him his guardian angel so that he could enter the door of the afterlife safely, finally saying goodbye to this rotten world. Or maybe he was a complete crack, washed-up junkie.
“I don’t know,” he whispered. “Can I trust a capitalist pig?”
Shinsou froze. The expression he wore wasn’t insulted, per se. More confused, his eyes searched for something that he had missed. Ironically, Kaminari searched for the same missing thing, but in a different variation. “Huh?”
“Don’t you see?” Kaminari threw his arm to the side, turning his whole body to him. “We’re a mass of idiots that let some miniac lead us for whatever reason. I don’t know who are the people I tag as mass of idiots and I have no fucking idea who that maniac is, but it’s enough for me to be aware that I’m one of them. And it’s dumb. I’m not going to be led like that anymore. So I don’t know, Shinsou. Can I trust you, that you too will turn against the society and follow me down the rabbit hole?”
Shinsou took a step forward, however he seemed afraid. The expression on his face told Kaminari that his mind went bonkers but it was too late to take his words back. He had already lost himself to the selfish machine, but was he able to save the next generation? Was he able, at first, save himself?
“No. Nothing you say will change my mind,” Kaminari backed a bit, swallowing a lump of nerves, forcing it down. “I already swallowed the red pill. I did it a long time ago but realized it just now.”
“Just let me go Shinsou. You’re in danger around me so it’s better for you to forget about everything and simply fuck off,” he breathed out, his body trembled. Shinsou was a few millimeters ahead of him, towering above his head, hiding him behind himself from the scary and cruel world. “Please don’t come closer-” he bit his lip.
Shinsou’s eyes almost glowed when the light barely reached them. “Trust me,” two simple words rolled out of his lips and made Kaminari’s hair on the back of his neck bristle. His breath was caught in his throat, eyes unable to look away from the deep pools he was drowning in. The oxygen didn’t seem to work on him anymore, as if he was a machine that this old schooled world failed to supply. Before he knew it, Shinsou’s palm cupped his face - it was warm. “I’d go to fucking hell if you asked me too. Lead the way, Kaminari.”
Why was he looking at him this way? The look of…
Hitoshi’s lips brushed Denki’s. Not innocently, not teasingly, but in a passionate and demanding manner. The wind was knocked out of Kaminari’s lungs; for the first time his mind was locked into the present. The gesture stole the words neither one of them announced aloud. The silence felt like a card table, with all of the secrets laid bare, unprotected. His eyes faltered and body melted into the bittersweet touch of Hitoshi’s hands all over him, waiting.
Except, the weight of his lips never came.
Instead, the wind whistled between them and something passed in the narrow space that was between their lips, almost slicing his lower puckered lip in half.
Shinsou’s reaction was faster: he backed away and turned sharply, hand already shoved forward with a- Gun?! Kaminari’s eyes widened, he didn’t notice that the whole time Shinsou was with a gun tucked behind his back in his pants. He held it forward, veiling Kaminari behind his back. The blonde peered from behind his shoulder, trying to spot whatever was threatening on them while his mind swirled: They found him.
“Ah,” someone moaned from the side. Both men jumped, turning sharply to the direction of the sound. “There’s nothing I love more than to interrupt people that are about to kiss. It makes me feel way better about being single.”
Out of the shadows, appeared a guy. His arm was in a form of a long rifle, the barrel pointed at them. His raspberry colored hair was gathered in a short pigtail, though he was sporting bangs that parted on his forehead as to not obscure his vision. Blue, round yet sharp at the edges eyes observed and judged every breath they inhaled. He wore a black suit, and a white glove on the hand that wasn’t turned into a weapon. He squatted on the balustrade of the balcony, smiling mischievously.
“Who are you?” Shinsou’s voice came out stoic, emotionless, professional.
“Does it matter?” he tilted his head innocently. “You may not know me, Controller, however, Chargebolt is sure as hell should remember me… Or is your brain that damaged, huh?” he smirked.
Another one. Another villain demanding his memories. Why were the villains thinking that he could remember each and every one of them? In his not-so-long career he fought enough villains to say proudly that he didn’t remember all of them because there were just so many.
“There’s absolutely no reason for him to remember the trash of our society,” spat Shinsou back at him. “This is why you take out trash, per se. No one returns to look at it ever again.”
The smile on the guy’s grew wider. “Yeah, that’s why our world is so fucked up, but that’s a conversation for another day.”
“It indeed is. For today, let’s talk about how am I going to rip your ass for shooting us.”
He licked his lips, letting out an amused giggle. “That’s why I adore heroes so much!” his arm was shoved forward with a charging sound. Kaminari’s eyes grew wide as he gripped automatically into the pro hero’s arm - and then another bullet was darting their way.
Shinsou’s arm jumped to his chest as Kaminari noticed something silver-colored appearing for a moment, before a shield was formed and swallowed the bullet. He saw the purple head griping into his wrist, and then the bullet that was shot at them was sent back to its owner. As it hit the wall behind him, an explosion arose.
Kaminari yelped in surprise as both stumbled back, feeling the ground shaking underneath their legs. “Fuck,” hissed Shinsou. His shoulders were tense, his whole body was stiff. His palm was resting on the top of his gun. His fingers gripped so hard around it, that his knuckles were white.
The villain landed in front of them, his eyes glowing dangerously. He licked his lips, looking rather satisfied with the explosion that made the building tremble. The screams from beneath struck Kaminari's mind like arrows of horror - if the public got hurt, it was going to be very bad. Plus, the unwanted fuss. If it would make the police come back here then who knew what would they do to Shinsou, Bakugou and Kirishima for helping him out?
He had to do something before it was too late.
"Move," he hissed.
Shinsou shot back a confused look. "What?"
"Let me handle this," Kaminari's voice wasn't louder than a shaky whisper. "Please."
"Hey, no secrets!" pouted the villain.
It made a nerve spark in Kaminari's head. Was this piece of shit thinking that it was just a game? Without receiving a response from Shinsou, he shoved the pro hero aside, stepping toward the man. "What do you want," it wasn't a question. By now, it was an angry demand for information. Denki was fed up with not knowing.
"Isn't it obvious?" asked the villain. "You- Oh sweet Jesus that sounds bad," he giggled. Kaminari stared at him in disbelief.
The urge to ask him wherever he was on drugs and what was wrong with him grew stronger with each passing giggle. But he stopped himself. This isn't important. "Why do you want me?" his voice was weak. He wanted to slap himself.
"Because you're a precious finding."
The answer was simple.
The sun was in the sky, type of simple.
Shivers ran down Kaminari's spine as the meaning behind the words settled in his mind.
Our experiment is progressing pretty well lately, but you have to find a way for Birusk to get back on the game board - or else we wouldn’t be able to do the finishing touches.
The letter. Their experiment.
"Because you're a precious finding," he was the experiment. The said finding that for some reason was called Birusk in the letter. He didn't come back to that game board mentioned in the letter, so was that guy sent here to drag him back with power? His palm was sweaty.
It was hard to breathe.
"Oi, you're not going to take him!" once again he was shoved back, behind Shinsou. Now, Kaminari had a hard time telling what was going on around him because everything was happening so fast and it was so confusing and-
And he just wanted to curl up in a small ball. So that the ground could easily swallow him, and he would never be able to come back to the cruel world he was trapped in. Kaminari couldn't find the will to fight anymore, honestly. He felt like a doll swinging between Shinsou's will to protect him; and that villain's will to drag him to wherever for whatever that was waiting there for him, exclusively.
But where was his will? Was someone considering what he wanted and what he didn't?
"And who will stop me?"
Kaminari lifted his eyes to face the now angrier visage of the man.
And suddenly he was frozen, with his eyes wide, as Kaminari could hear from Shinsou's snort that he was smirking. "I will," and his voice - quiet yet earth braking; leaving an impact of murderous intentions and lust, like from before. It made his heart stutter in his chest.
He stepped towards the man, shoving the gun to his face.
"Are you going to kill him?" the question was shot out of Kaminari's mind before he was able to take control over it.
Shinsou didn't look at him as he pressed it to the villain's forehead. "No. This is a safe gun. It only shoots low electric shocks," he shrugged. "I'm going to knock him out and then-"
Kaminari's eyes widened as blood splashed from Shinsou's midsection.
The purple haired man gasped, his body arching and head shots to the side. His arm was shoved forward and he pressed to shoot - but then he fell to the floor, never hitting his invisible aim. Kaminari breathed in, completely taken aback by the sudden attack.
And then, as pain exploded in his head, his eyes rolled to their sockets and body toppled on the floor; his consciousness shutting down as only one thought was left in his mind.
He just hoped that Shinsou was ok. No, he HAD to be ok.