I’m waiting. Right here. And I won’t stop waiting until you’re here. Time passes. The sun sets. And then it rises back in just a blink of an eye. I’ve been waiting for a long time, but every second just passes by me, because you’re not there yet. And I will wait because you told me “tomorrow”. And I believe you. I always will. Because I love you.
Rays of sunlight shine on my eyes and all of a sudden, you’re there. You’re there and you’re looking at me. I’m happy that you’re here, but it seems like you aren’t. You’re shocked. I could see it in your face. But then that shock turns to embarrassment and then I understood. You forgot. You forgot about me. You forgot about your promise of tomorrow.
It hurts. So much. But I’m okay because you’re here now. Now I could tell you everything that I couldn’t say before because now I’m ready. I’m ready to be with you and I’m ready to admit that I love you. I never stopped loving you. But then something I didn’t expect happens. Guilt.
Guilt flashes through your eyes and the hard realization came. You can’t be mine anymore. You were with her. You didn’t just forget about me. You were forgetting me... Moving on. You opened your mouth to tell me that this wasn’t going to work. It takes me a long time to understand that it’s finally over. Whatever we were and whatever I thought could happen to us; it’s all over.
I’m trying to think of a million ways to beg you to look at me and tell you to stay. I can’t believe I’m losing you. You’re the only family that I have- the only family that I want. In my mind, I’m angry and scared and heartbroken and confused. I want to scream at you and hug you and slap you and cry. But I couldn’t do any of that. Because despite of what I just lost, I still love you. And if you’re moving on and happy, then I know I should be glad for your sake. I love you and it will stay that way forever.
And so I tell you. I tell you everything that I needed to get out of my chest. I can’t keep hiding from my feelings anymore. You try to stop me from saying anything, but I tell you anyway. Because I need to. And even though I need you as well, I need to learn to let go of you, because I know that’s what you need.
When everything has been said and done, I walk past you. But before that, I look back and I say to you that I will never look away, because I never will. And I also tell you that I will be there for you. Always. I will be okay even though I really wouldn’t be. I just want to leave here knowing that you’re doing what’s best for you, because you deserve to be happy. And I... I deserve to know you will be happy. Even if it’s without me.