Actions

Work Header

The Tale of how Tony Stark adopted a Sophomore and things escalated

Chapter Text

AssVengers

StevenThicc: oh no

StevenThicc: Tony adopted a freshman

Tony Stank: she’s a sophomore she’s adorable and I’ve known her for one day and if anything happened to her I’d kill everyone in this chat and then myself

Ole’ Town Rhode: Most seniors: Screw Freshman

Ole’ Town Rhode: Tony: adopts a freshman

Tony Stank: first of all, she’s a sophomore.

Tony Stank: second of all, would you rather me screw freshman?

Ole’ Town Rhode: fair Enough

Tony Stank: Besides!!! You’re an uncle now!!!! And nat you’re gonna adore her!!!  Pep you too

Pepe: Add her then?

Tony Stank Added Penny Parker

Penny Parker: um hello?

Tony Stank: this is my daughter

Penny Parker: o-oh?

Penny Parker: oh! You’re the senior who looked at me and said “oh my god it’s a baby”

Tony Stank: where the fuck are your manners indtrudce yourselves to my child

Pepe: “indtrudce”

Tony Stank: let me live

Pepe: No.

Tony Stank: but I have a reason to live now

Pepe: Fine.

Pepe: anyway, I’m Pepper Potts and it’s nice to meet you penny!

Penny Parker: hi nice to meet you Pepper!

Ole’ Town Rhode: I’m James Rhodes But my friends call me Rhodey but since you’re Tony’s daughter it’s uncle Rhodey k?

Penny Parker: k :)

Pepe: you’re adapting to this well Penny Parker

Tony Stank: Penny Stark But Carry on

Clintness EverDean: I’m Clint Barton And I’m also you’re uncle

Naffty: I’m Natasha and you’re adorable

Penny Parker: thank you!

Tony Stank: Told you so!





Chapter Text

AssVengers

 

StevenThicc: sorry to cut the instructions short but I haven’t seen you around before?

Penny Parker: oh! I just came here from being home schooled :/ so technically this is my first time in an actual school and let me tell you this isn’t high school musical

Tony Stank: oh my god my baby is so precious

Wam swilson: how come you were home school for so long? Also hi I’m Sam Wilson btw

Penny Parker: my family is kinda poor so we couldn’t afford the school fees and a bunch of bad things were happening during that time and when my uncle passed it became a but harder to support us. But I got sponsored for Here and everything has been payed off for us :) we still had to get the school supplies n stuff but other than that we got lucky.

Chucky: You don’t have to answer this but how did your uncle pass? Also hi I’m bucky Barnes

Penny Parker: we were walking home and we got jumped in an alleyway, He got shot protecting me.

Chucky: I’m so sorry for your loss.

Penny Parker: thank you.

Tony Stank: you did bad things tho?

Penny Parker: I’d rather not tell you about that, yet.

Tony Stank: understandable my child.

Penny Parker: thank you dad

Tony Stank: I’m gonna cry

Penny Parker: pls don’t :((( also if you’re my new dad you’re gonna have to go thru my aunt

Tony Stank: text her abt me and then send a screenshot

Penny Parker: k

 

<3 Aunt May <3

 

Penny: aunt May

May<3: please don’t tell me you got suspended already

Penny: no but a senior adopted me

May<3; Penny, I’d love for you to read those words you just typed and sent out for me please.

Penny: Aunt May I’m not joking I have an uncle Rhodey and uncle Clint

May<3: ….

May<3: and you’re going along with it?

Penny: He seems nice and he’s definitely not Skip. I promise. He has a bunch of friends who adore me already for some reason.

May<3: you have the affect on people

May<3: bring him over after school

May<3: and when I told you to make some friends this wasn’t what I meant but go off I guess.

 

AssVengers:

 

Penny Parker: [ Penny: aunt May

May<3: please don’t tell me you got suspended already

Penny: no but a senior adopted me

May<3; Penny, I’d love for you to read those words you just typed and sent out for me please.

Penny: Aunt May I’m not joking I have an uncle Rhodey and uncle Clint

May<3: ….

May<3: and you’re going along with it?

Penny: He seems nice and he’s definitely not Skip. I promise. He has a bunch of friends who adore me already for some reason.

May<3: you have the effect on people

May<3: bring him over after school

May<3: and when I told you to make some friends this wasn’t what I meant but go off I guess.]

 

Tony Stank: it’s like going to meet the parents but I’m going to meet my child’s aunt instead

StevenThicc: that exactly what it is

Tony Stank: shut up

Tony Stank: uh I got to go to chemistry and I fucking hate chem

Penny Parker: I’m pretty good at chemistry I can help you?

Tony Stank: I suddenly love chemistry

 

AssVengers But a few hours later

 

Tony Stank: a few hours of being a dad: had to fend off my child from a bully and I felt like a literal bear

Naffty changed Tony Stank to Mama Bear

Mama Bear: fair enough

Naffty Changed Penny Parker to The Cub

The Cub: aight

 

Mama Bear >>> The Cub

 

Mama Bear: so tell me a lil bit of yourself?

The Cub; um, I’m good at chemistry but you already know that, I know everything about Star Wars even tho I prefer Star Trek instead. I have a pet spider named jerry and I cant listen to country music

Mama Bear: why not country music

The Cub: I violently Convulse

Mama Bear: o-oh okay no country music

The Cub: oh and my nickname my friends give me as a Joke is Spider-Woman or Spider-Girl

Mama Bear: cause of jerry?

The Cub: yes and no, to actually get out n do stuff my aunt and uncle put me in gymnastics for a little while and I was the best at flips n stuff thing I had to be taken out so I started doing parkour and I had to run from the police a few times by climbing and scaling buildings which gives me a heck of a thrill. Mr. Morales catches me sometimes but he just shakes his head and lets me go. He says I could be a superhero if I put it to good use.

Mama Bear: aight Spider-Girl I see you not what I was expecting from someone that looks like how you look tbh

The Cub; dude you have no idea also tell me about you know I feel like I should know my dad

Mama Bear: I’m Tony Stark, I hate my dad. I’m good at welding and mechanics and tbh I wanna just start my own company instead of inheriting Stark Industries so I don’t have to make weapons. I have a daughter which is you. My best friend is a twink named Bruce Banner a scary lady named Natasha and my aunt Peggy can kick anyone’s ass.  

The Cub: you don’t have to follow your dad footsteps to inherit S.I.

mama Bear: but it’s the Stark Legacy???

The Cub: Legacy’s change, wait till your dad retires or hands it to you then do a 180 on him

Mama Bear: oh

Mama Bear: oh I like you

The Cub: you kinda have to cause that’d suck if you didn’t

The Cub; also your superhero name is Ironman now deal or no deal

Mama Bear: deal

 

AssVengers

 

Mama Bear Changed to Ironman

The Cub changed to Spider-Woman

 

StevenThicc: um

Ironman: it’s a father daughter thing you wouldn’t understand Steven.

 

-

 

AssVengers

 

Science twink: I don’t come to school for a day and Tony adopts a child

Ironman: Brucie!!!

Ironman: also If you hadn’t stayed out of school and lied about being sick to get dicked down by your mystery man then you would have been there to meet my daughter.

Science Twink: kabkdx sknenddnnd I don’t deserve to be called out like this

Ironman: tragic

Science Twink: yeah your life is

Ironman: LWNDKXNJSNSJXNSNQK

Science Twink: :-)

 

-

 

AssVengers

 

StevenThicc: who the fuck ate the last red white and blue sprinkled donut

Ironman: [picture of a white creamed and red blue and white sprinkled donut with a bite taken out of it]

Ironman: oh you mean this?

StevenThicc: ….

StevenThicc: What, did I say. Would happen if someone took the last red blue and white dount?

Ironman: idk, idrk.

StevenThicc: oh you should care

Spider-Woman: guys please don’t fight :(

Ironman:

StevenThicc:

Pepe: do as she says before me and Nat feed you your own bones

Ironman: we won’t fight anymore

StevenThicc: we won’t fight anymore.

 

-

 

AssVengers

 

Ironman: May Parker is terrifying

Spider-Woman: Told you

 

-

 

Two Nerds and one cool nerd

 

Spider-Woman: I got adopted by tony Stark

Poison Ivy: we saw that

 

-