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Fen tastes as sweet as she looks.

 

That's Margo's first coherent thought after pushing Fen to the wall and sticking her hand up her skirts. She sucks the first two fingers of her left hand into her mouth while Fen watches, sucking off Fen's juices. Fen's eyes go dark, her pupils blown wide. Margo smiles and presses her fingers to Fen's lips, where Fen opens and sucks them in with a groan, tongue laving over them, hot and filthy.

 

Eliot doesn't know what he's missing.

 

She's doing this for him, technically. He wanted help getting Fen off his back (and out of his bed.) So Margo takes one for the team and helps take the edge off of Fen's horniness. Finger-banging her hardly counts as sex—Margo didn't even ask for anything in return. And she told Fen they had Eliot's blessing.

 

Fen had been unsure, until Margo had mentioned Eliot had certain proclivities that kept him uninterested, and kingly responsibilities that kept him busy. Besides, he and Margo shared all the time. He wanted Fen taken care of and he trusted Margo with her. So Fen says yes without too much persuading.

 

Something hot and dark curls in Margo's stomach looking at Fen, flushed and gasping when she pulls her fingers away. “You need me again, you know where to find me.”

 

Fen nods jerkily and steps around Margo out into the abandoned hall.

 

She doesn't come to Margo again.

 

///

 

“If I had a dick, I'd let her suck it.”

 

Eliot isn't expecting the remark and nearly chokes on his wine. They're dining together discussing politics, the way they once had discussed course work. It's new and familiar all at once, but there's a nagging voice in the back of Margo's head that says Fen should be there. She is Eliot's wife, he should be taking his meals with her. Should, but isn't, and Margo is too selfish to bring it up.

 

“Fen,”Margo says easily, “I fingered her in the hallway today.”

 

“Mm, there was a mishap with teeth the last—wait, what?”

 

“I told you I'd get her out of your hair and I did,” Margo says with a shrug. “I don't think this place's weird sex magic counts unless there's a dick involved. Penetration is the tool of the patriarchy.”

 

Eliot sucks in a breath and downs the remainder of his wine. “Margo, you can't go around seducing my wife.”

 

“Why not? You aren't.”

 

It's a fair point, but Eliot ignores it. “Marriage means something here. It means something to her and I have to try...to try. With her. We're trying. She's trying.”

 

“That's one word for her.” Margo says under her breath.

 

“Hey, that's my wife you're talking about,” Eliot says and laughs. It's only slightly hysterical. “Never thought I'd say that.”

 

Margo can't help but laugh with him, at their situation. Somehow, they've got an entire kingdom to save.

 

Fen is the last thing on her mind.

 

///

 

The second time isn't until after Eliot dies.

 

Fen's already cried her heart out, Margo has steadfastly refused to cry her own. She's in bed, two Ambien and three glasses of wine into a deep sleep when her door opens. The light spilling in hurts her eyes, and for a moment she's terrified until she remembers she has guards posted. There's only a handful of people it could be, one of them is dead, Quentin isn't here, so it must be Fen.

 

Fen climbs into the bed, and Margo can smell the booze on her. Not that she's judging, because people grieve how they grieve. But why Fen is in her bed is a different story—that she can protest, because she's trying to sleep. Sleep is the only time nothing hurts. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I need you. I need you to help me forget,” Fen says desperately, hands fumbling in the dark. She finds Margo's hand and pushes it between her legs. “Make me feel good. I just want to feel something good, it hurts-”

 

Margo slides a finger in her mostly to shut her up. Fen keens; she's already wet and Margo can hear her stifling sobs. “I tried to do it myself, but I couldn't—I can't, I need help.”

 

“We're you thinking about Eliot?” Fen doesn't answer, but a sob breaks free. Margo remembers telling Eliot once that she'd protect Fen and their baby. She failed on one count, she won't fail on another.

 

“It's okay,” Margo says into the dark, brushing her free hand over Fen's breast. She can feel her heart beating wildly under it. “I'll take care of you.”

 

///

 

“Don't accuse me of catching feelings.”

 

They're talking about more than Josh, Margo knows. Fen probably knows too, but she doesn't press it. What they did in the dark wasn't about feelings for each other, it was about grief and loneliness and despair. It was about filling a space that Eliot left empty.

 

Margo made a promise once to protect Fen. It's all she can do now that Eliot is gone. So she'll join Fen on this stupid quest and she'll protect her. It's what Eliot would want.

 

(And maybe, just a small part isn't about Eliot at all.)

 

///

 

The third time happens on their quest, Fen curled up beside her in bed. She's only keeping an eye on Fen because Ambien seriously fucks with some people and the last thing she needs is Fen sleepwalking off the battlements to her death. It's got her soft and sleepy and doe-eyed, and worse of all, cuddley.

 

“Fen,” Margo says, trying to sound stern but gentle.

 

Fen ignores her and snuggles closer, putting her head in Margo's lap. “I miss sharing a bed with someone.”

 

Margo decides not to push Fen off after all. Instead she runs a hand through Fen's hair, scratches along Fen's scalp when she pushes up into it. “Mhm, that feels nice.”

 

“Go to sleep, Fen.”

 

Fen shakes her head, “Let me help you first. You helped me and I never returned the favor.”

 

Before Margo can speak, Fen is sitting up and running a hand along the inside of Margo's thigh. Margo's heard of Ambien making people horny, but she hadn't expected this response from Fen. “You're high.”

 

Fen giggles when she pushes her away. “I wanted to before I took the potion.”

 

“Pill, not potion.”

 

“Whatever.” The modern world rubbed off on Fen in strange ways. Hearing her say 'whatever' like any person from Earth their age is still a bit jarring. “I want to put my mouth on you.”

 

No.”

 

Fen crawls into her lap and fists her hands in her hair. “I want to kiss you.”

 

“Fen,” Margo catches her wrists, meaning to pull her away.

 

“Just once,” Fen says and Margo relents. Just once can't hurt.

 

Kissing Fen is like dropping a match on gun powder. All at once Margo feels on fire, hunger crawling up her belly and her insides full of want want want. It's intoxicating and addictive and wrong, but she can't stop.

 

It's a blur of movement until she has Fen on her back and her nightgown rucked up around her hips. Her head is buried between her thighs and Fen's hands are twisted in her hair, pulling and tugging as her back arches and she writhes beneath her. Margo doesn't even care that the drugs kick in and Fen falls asleep after she comes. She puts her own hand between her legs and finishes herself off quicker than she has in years.

 

She's so fucked.

 

///

 

Margo doesn't keep track after that. Nearly every night the next week Fen is in her bed. If Fen acts more distant and scattered than usual, Margo blames it on nerves. She's new to this too.

 

A week and she learns the curves of Fen's body, the sounds she makes when she comes, the gasps when she begs, the way her hand reaches out to grasp Margo's and twine their fingers after they make love.

 

Making love is a strange way of putting it, but it feels more appropriate than fucking. There are feelings involved, though Margo can't say which ones. She's been so caught up in caring for Fen for Eliot's sake that she doesn't know where caring for her on her own starts.

 

But she's ready to find out.

 

///

 

 

“What's going on with you and Fen?” Josh demands. Except that it's Josh, so it comes out less a demand and more a plea.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“I'm not stupid, Margo. And I'm not blind. I like Fen and I don't mind sharing if that's what you need. But I need you to be honest about it.”

 

That's refreshing. Jealousy can be so annoying. “I don't know what's going on. But there's something there.”

 

“Okay.”

 

“That's it?”

 

“That's it.”

 

///

 

Eliot is alive.

 

Margo is so focused on saving him, on getting him back that she doesn't think of Fen. Doesn't think of what it means for them, not until after. After Eliot is back. But then Quentin is gone, and Margo doesn't know what to say.

 

There isn't a right way to say 'by the way, I'm fucking your wife.'

 

It's like one of those old stories she'd read as a kid. The king has it all, the love of the kingdom, a beautiful wife, and a strong right hand man. Who happens to be fucking his wife. Whose in love with his wife. And wasn't her throne Eliot's before she took it? Is she going to take his wife now too? After he's just lost the love of his life?

 

She can't say anything. She has Josh. That'll be enough. It has to be enough. She's always been Fen's second choice. She won't say anything, not now, not ever. Some secrets can be taken to the grave. And if it hurts, that's okay. Margo is strong, she'll endure the pain, whatever it takes.

 

She always does.