Chapter 1: Harem
Skull is a perfectly awesome omega and all the other Arcobaleno are alphas. Skull can’t be the only person confused as to why he doesn’t have a harem yet. It's right there! Why is no one cooperating?
“So,” Skull says.
Colonnello does a full body flinch and whips around, clutching the ear Skull whispered into like some old fashioned maiden caught in only her night gown. “What the fuck?” Colonnello turns sideways on the couch. “How long have you been here?”
“Oh, you know,” Skull muses.
Three hours, hoping that Colonnello or Lal -maybe both- would spontaneously have a rut while they sparred in the backyard and Skull could jump in to save the day.
Skull vaults over the back of the couch and bounces when he lands. “So, hey.”
Skull pauses. “Alright. However-“
“A hundred percent no. Get away from me.”
Skull whines, slumping down. “You haven’t even heard what I want to ask.”
Colonnello grimaces. “I can smell your pre-heat pheromones. No. Put on some deodorant.”
Skull squints at him. “Am I…tempting you?”
“You smell like instant noodles. Reheated. In the microwave.”
Lal comes down the stairs, drying her hair on a towel. “What is that smell? Did you burn somethi-“ She stops. “Oh. Hello, Skull.”
“I need you to do something,” Skull says, hands clasped together, peering up at Viper from where he’s kneeling on the ground. “I need you to fuck me.”
“I would rather pay you to leave my house.”
Skull shakes his hands around for emphasis. “Okay but let’s pretend. We don’t have to, just lie for me.”
Skull bounces where he sits on the cold, hard metal of the empty bank vault he was shoved into.
Verde eyes him warily from the other side. “I want you to know that I take supplements specifically to not be affected by an omega’s heat.”
Skull stops bouncing. “Aww, Verde.”
The door opens anyway and Fon peers inside at the hostages. “Ah, found you. Everything has been taken care of.”
“Thank God,” Verde sighs in relief.
He steps out and slams the door shut in Skull’s face, only to come back with some kind of fire hydrant thing that stops the heat dead. Skull pouts particularly hard during the debrief.
Skull bursts into the door, dropping the picklocks and kicking it shut. He runs up the stairs while stripping himself so he bounces off a couple of walls, knocks some stuff over. Doesn’t matter because he smells a delicious alpha in rut.
The bedroom door opens before Skull can kick it in and a Fon wearing only his pants frowns at him, hair messed up and bite marks scattered over his shoulders and neck.
Skull throws his arms up. “What the hell, Fon? This was my chance!”
Reborn, reduced to non-verbal snarling, still has good enough aim to pelt Skull in the face with a vibrator.
Skull is thrown out onto the street and Fon kindly tosses his clothes out after him.
“Oh no,” Skull slurs when Lal drags the other woman off him. “Guess I’ve been drugged. Oops. I suppose one of you is just going to have to-“
Verde easily pulls out a syringe. Skull tries to weakly crawl away but damn those drugs are actually pretty strong. It’s still nothing compared to Verde’s antidote.
Mammon snaps their fingers a few times. “Skull. Skull, are you even paying attention?”
Skull sighs, loud and long before lifting his head from the table and propping it on a hand. “Am I that undesirable?”
“Yes,” Reborn deadpans.
Lal smacks him on the thigh. “No, you just sniff around where you’re not wanted.”
Reborn raises an eyebrow. “How is that any nicer than what I just said?”
“I actually just hit you because I like it.”
Reborn smirks and leans in for a filthy kiss, Lal digging her nails into his inner thighs.
Skull sighs again, even louder and longer. “What part of me-“
“All of it,” Reborn mutters around the kiss and then moans when Verde leans in from behind and bites into the hitman’s neck.
Skull flops back into his chair. “Someone other than Reborn; what part of me is such a turn off?”
Fon hums. “I wouldn’t put it like that. It is simply a matter of preference.”
“Well what part of me don’t you prefer?”
Fon shrugs. No one else is paying attention because they’ve gravitated towards what is the beginnings of yet another orgy that Skull isn’t invited to.
Skull huffs in annoyance and settles in to watch.
The Arcobaleno genuinely don’t understand what makes them view Skull as a complete non-entity in terms of lust. It’s not that they look at him in disgust or think he’s not their type. It is quite purely instinct that makes them push him away.
Then Aria is born and it all slots into place. Because now there’s a child to care for and Skull -cute, innocent and bubbly little Skull- no longer triggers strange parental instincts in the Arcobaleno. Skull was always toeing the line between a potential mate and a dependant, so he ended up confusing everyone.
Having a genuine child means Skull is firmly pushed into the mate category.
They still don’t fuck him though because it’s funnier this way.
Chapter 2: But Seriously
Reborn is an omega but no one believes him because what kind of omega looks like death itself.
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
It's loud, like it always is with the Vongola. Except this dinner includes all of the allies because Xanxus' birthday party was this morning and Tsuna refused to not celebrate with absolutely everyone.
Xanxus is huffy -homicidal- about having to put up with it. Whenever he rips off the stupid 'Birthday Boy' badge the Varia forced on him, it returns when people keep sneakily pinning it back on to his clothes.
Xanxus is edging the line between tolerant and actually getting upset so the normal seating arrangement that everyone's fallen into has been switched up. Reborn is firmly on the left with Squalo on the right and Skull is across because he can take a hit.
Bester is under the table like always when Xanxus eats, lounging across several people's feet and demanding food from anyone within biting distance. Xanxus glances over when even Reborn bends down, leaning towards the Varia boss to feed Bester a piece of venison.
The back of Reborn's collar pulls away from his neck with the motion and Xanxus immediately notices the thick bandage wrapped around the man's nape. It supresses scent, Xanxus knows at least that much, but Alphas don't have scent glands there.
"Why do you have a scent collar?" Xanxus asks, slumped back in his chair and sipping wine.
Reborn straightens up and wipes his hand on a napkin because Bester slobbers. "I need it," Reborn admits.
"Why?" Squalo chimes in from the other side of Xanxus.
Reborn blinks. "Pheromones from an omega also include any and all emotions we have, not like an Alpha who only gives off the stronger emotions they feel. I have good control but it's easier to use a collar."
Several people have tuned in to the discussion by now and Kikyo, a bit further down the table next to Byakuran, leans forward to better see the hitman. "I thought Alphas didn't have scent glands on their neck."
"They don't," Reborn says simply. "I'm an omega."
There's a pause and Spanner, down the other side of the table, tilts his head a bit. "I don't understand the joke."
"It's not a joke," Reborn says slowly like he's speaking to a child.
Squalo scans the hitman's body. "You don't look like an omega."
Reborn turns fully in his chair to stare the swordsman down. "This is not an argument. I'm not discussing this with you, I'm flat out telling you that it's a fact I'm an omega."
"I'm pretty sure you're not," Byakuran chimes in.
Reborn sucks in a breath and leans back in his chair like he's trying to get away from the stupidity. "Someone -anyone- help me. Skull, please, explain to them."
Skull flashes a grin. "Yeah, Reborn is an omega." Skull squints at Reborn from how hard he's smiling. "Like Fon is."
Reborn narrows his eyes at the lackey but everyone listening in turns to Fon down the left of the table. Fon, with his rippling muscles. Fon, with his knowledge of over a hundred schools of martial arts. Fon, completely willing to using said rippling muscles and knowledge to beat the shit out of anyone who dares to ask for a spar.
"Voi!" Squalo bellows at Fon, easily cutting over the loud chatter. "Bigger Hibari, are you an omega?"
Fon pauses at the sudden attention, tea halfway raised to his mouth, and smiles serenely. "Why yes, I am." Fon's easy countenance and wide eyes make him look a bit air-headed and definitely not like he's being serious.
"Fon," Reborn snaps in annoyance.
Fon sips his tea.
Kikyo looks at Reborn again, along with the mass of people dragged into this conversation from Squalo's loud bellow. "I really don't think you're an omega."
Reborn sighs. "I don't care."
"You smell like an Alpha," Adelheid points out from within a cluster of Simon. "If you truly are an omega then why do you hide it?"
"I don't hide it," Reborn explains. "I'm very open about it, but I use a collar to hide the invasive aspects of pheromones and I spend too much time with Alphas so their scent clings to me."
Xanxus, no hesitation, leans over and buries his face into Reborn's neck, breathing in deeply. Lawfully, the Arcobaleno alphas can kill Xanxus for that. As it is, the strongest just watch on in amusement because this is really the only time Reborn doesn't immediately get his way.
Xanxus pulls back with a frown. "You do smell like other people."
"But you could still be an alpha."
Reborn rips off the bandage at the back of his neck, the adhesive stinging because he just put it on today and it's meant to last several days. A wash of exasperation floods from him along with the sickly sweet pheromones that all omegas put out when their heat is coming.
People close enough to get a face full of it lean back but then rock forward unconsciously. A strong omega means more healthy babies which means they smell the best to potential mates. Mammon once described Reborn's scent as 'all the money'.
"There," Reborn deadpans. "Are we done now?"
Spanner looks curious. "Did Verde make you that cologne?"
"Ask him yourself," Reborn says, giving up. "No, wait. Verde – Verde, tell them I'm an omega. How many heats have I spent with you?"
Verde slides him a glance. "Two. Because you use Sun flames to speed through your heat unless you need to distract me with your scent to steal my things."
"You sound upset," Reborn points out. "You really shouldn't be upset when you have a sweet omega like me-"
"Sweet?" Verde spits out like a curse. He directs the rest to everyone else. "Reborn is only an omega when he needs to wield it like the weapon it is."
"But I'm still an omega," Reborn insists.
Tsuna looks a bit confused. "So you're like how Kyouya is technically a beta?"
Kyouya is a beta but everyone treats him like an alpha because he's got the instincts of one. Don't go into his territory without permission, don't touch the omegas he's marked, don't try and act dominant or he'll get aggressive, etc.
Reborn waves a hand vaguely through the air. "Sure, kind of like that."
"I still don't get the joke," Spanner admits.
Reborn takes a moment. "Fine. I'm an alpha."
Everyone immediately nods knowingly and makes agreeable sounds.
"I knew it," Byakuran says smugly.
Reborn gets pregnant and has a daughter but people still think this is some elaborate cosplay scheme.