Chapter 1: Guilt
Girls at class 1-A have what they call their "Lady Time" where they hang out at Mina's room every Friday night, trying out different hairstyles and make-up even though it's not according to one's will. And yup, Jirou's right there, a headband braid latched onto her head with the ends of her hair slightly curled as to her classmate's wish.
"Jirou-saann~" Uraraka sang delightfully, as everyone fawned over Jirou, "You look pretty!"
Jirou stammered, heat rising up to her cheeks. God. Why did I agree to this? She giggled nervously, unable to say a proper word. She quickly rose up and left the room with a shaking voice that said something like go water and down.
Leaving the room was good. She could faintly hear her classmate's worried statements by the door she had leaned to and was thankful no one decided to follow her. Jirou breathed out, her heart pounding inside her, she tried to calm herself while walking down the hallway.
She shouldn't have come. Well, she was okay about this before and secretly loved the way her friends compliment her. Lady Time was nice and relaxing. Also, they had the chance to talk about things that only them girls could talk about, like love and stuff. And there came Kaminari one day, who suddenly barged in just before she talks about something.
"Talking about love eh?" his teasing voice echoed inside her head.
Jirou inhaled. Damn. Ever since that time, she had became really anxious and petitioned to lock the door every Lady Time. Until she passed on make up sessions. And now, hairstyles.
Noise from the common room failed to snap her out of her thoughts, sprinting straight to the counter to grab a glass of water and-
And she was snapped out of Lady Times. Kaminari was looking at her with enthusiastic eyes and his electric smile. Oh yeah, Kaminari.. He was the reason why. Being the one to disturb her life like that. Jirou deserved to think straight and focus on the glass that was overflowing with water.
"Hey, the glass is overflowing, stupid." Bakugou grumbled, as she passed through her, rummaging something from the fridge.
"Oh!" Jirou jumped, running to a rag that was at the sink and wiping off the water that has spilled on the table, her clothes and the floor.
A hearty laugh came from the group of boys that averted her attention, speaking of, these boys were having their time playing the Switch. It was late when she remembered that Kirishima was inviting the others to join too.
"What happened Jirouu??" Kirishima was laughing.
"That's so unlikely of you!" Sero added.
"Damn, looking pretty in that braid. You must have been stunned by yourself."
What did Kaminari said?
Because aahh! her cheeks felt so hot. She forgot to remove her braids! Now, she looked like a forced rockstar about to attend a prom night. Jirou didn't feel like breathing from what he just said. And she didn't know how close was she to them as she lunged at Kaminari.
"Idiot!" Jirou shouted as he jabbed a jack into Kaminari's chest in which much forceful than any other jab she had done with him. Seconds later, she realized what she had done.
Kaminari's head jerked upwards, bolts of electricity popping out of his body in the process. Eyes rolled back, his teeth were gritting as his body showed spasmodic reaction, crashing hard on the couch.
Jirou was unable to speak again and stood unmoving on the floor.
"He's having a fit!"
"What the fuck is happening?!"
They told Jirou to hold back next time. They told Jirou what she did was not right. They told Jirou that Kaminari's quirk has not been stabilizing since then, slipping in and out of coma when they tried stopping his quirk. She told herself that she hated it. She told herself she's fucking stupid.
For a day, she locked herself on her room. Dared to care not for herself though Momo and the other girls tried to console her. Saying, it was not her fault, Kamimari must have been feeling something bad before that. No. Even though. It was all her fault.
Kirishima told her she must hold back next time. Sero said it was not right. Bakugou scowled at her. The teacher's able to deadpan around her. All of them, awkward and detached. It made her dwelling in frantic. Anxious hours. Her stomach couldn't take food. She kept on remembering how Kaminari passed out, having to be resuscitated outside at the grounds, an air pump over his pale face. She had nightmares. The one she could not reach Kaminari, and that he was fading away. It was all her fault.
She never had taken a proper meal since then, it was on the afternoon, second day. When Aizawa called her as Kaminari gained consciousness and that he wanted to see her.
Why does he even wanted to see her? Being the reason he was in that state? How ironic. Jirou heaved on the toilet bowl for the third time, only saliva and water coming out every time. Sobbing at her room's bathroom hopelessly. As she can't get him out of his head, especially when she heard Kaminari's whole condition.
His quirk became Kaminari's lifeline. Stopping it would cause his electrical signals to shut down, needing him to shock his quirk back again. Though while activated, his nerves were on fire, arrhythmias and seizures were what he's getting. Figuring the latter was better at the moment while his condition, thing that never happened before, underwent research.
Jirou barely fixed herself, knocking on her best friend's door. Momo looked at her with those eyes that never ceased to give concern. Jirou sniffed, as she looked back at her with tears in her eyes.
"Please braid my hair."
She gazed at Kaminari as if he was a child she had stabbed. Jirou drove her shaking hands on her sweater's pocket, looking down at it. Tears alarming to pour at a substantial rate. She couldn't look at Kaminari like this.
"He-ey." a voice hoarse and cracking, Kaminari cleared his throat softly. Jirou remained staring down, her bangs covering her face in purpose. She could hear Kaminari's ragged breath through the mask in which she heard him removing.
"Oh damn, it sucks..lying down for so long." he said, trying to shift his position much to Jirou's panic.
"Oh! No no no! A-Are you okay now? Is it okay for you to be upright?" Jirou stuttered, grasping at the bed's handrail to recline the bed.
She got a proper look of Kaminari. Different colored cords laid beside him, stuck into his body parts. His slightly toned body creased his baby blue hospital dress, bones sharp and intricate as an oxygen mask rested fuming above his collarbone. Gold eyes sparkled in admiration and a wide grin on his face. Though you could see he's unwell through pallid colors. And his hair was more rigid and flufflier than usual.
"I just wanted to see your face." he said with a satisfied sigh, the way he looked at her was something Jirou felt a day ago, making her stomach flutter madly. Like she looked so pretty.
Jirou brought her head down again, fiddling with her jacks, a sad sigh coming from her.
"You know." Kaminari started, "You're the first one I looked for because I feel like I have something to say."
She flinched a little from her name.
"This is not your fault. Please don't be bad to yourself."
"I-I'm not!" Jirou abruptly denied, her heart was racing.
Kaminari let out a breathy laugh, "If so, please be with me always, until I figured out what to say." he said with that kind booming voice of his.
Seconds later before he said, "You really look pretty in braids."
Jirou suddenly looked at him as he winked playfully. She smiled a little and rolled her eyes, running a finger though her waterfall braid.
"Oh god.." Kaminari breathed as he shakingly grabbed his mask, gasping ridiculouly inside it. Beeping sounds from the Holter went haywire while a smile was on his face.
"K-Kaminari! You fucking idiot!"
Chapter 2: Pain
this is my first bnha fic and yup, i tend to hurt characters.. sorry ;; hahaha hope you'll enjoy the angst! >O<
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Jirou was silent, an hour later.
Kaminari did not want her to know that he was beginning to resist the ache inside him. Just a little more okay, she was going home anytime soon. He wanted to make her know that he was doing fine. And it was not her fault. It was no one's fault. Though the moment he woke up, the first thing he thought of was his stupid quirk.
It was his stupid quirk again.
Born from a mother with a quirk like his and some insulator quirk of a father. He wished he could just inherit his father's right now. But even though, he loved his quirk, it was said to be incredibly powerful than her mother's and vital by most who looked up to his quirk in awe.
However, Kaminari couldn't keep himself up like his power. Every time he became aware that he went slobbering idiot, it got him down. It gets him down. Such a waste that his quirk was wonderful but it fucks him. Such a waste, what a waste.. Why does he have to suffer a lot of drawbacks like this?
Kaminari had no choice but to hate his quirk little by little. Just a little more Denki, Jirou's gonna leave soon. Goddammit, how long he had been silent? Maybe half an hour? And what was he doing? He felt so confused but was trying to polish every breath he let out because he must not look in pain and he could not just ask Jirou to go home.
Lost inside until Jirou cleared her throat, "Well, Kaminari, I had to head home now." He turned to look at her. Oh, so he was staring at the window the whole time? His vision waved a bit from the motion, his eardrums were buzzing. Just a little more. He hummed in agreement that was more of a grunt.
"See ya." he managed to croak past the mask, his hidden hand grasping his blanket unconsciously.
He missed Jirou's last words and she was now leaving the room. Wait, what did she said? Was she going back tomorrow? Jirou was about to walk out of the door and there was panic along with intense pain. Wait! He didn't understand what she said and it made his heart heavily beating. No no no not yet, please, he needed to stay awake, conscious. Kaminari struggled to breathe, gazing up at the ceiling's light with his blurring vision. His nerves were like tearing up, faint crackling of energy inside him pinning his body in throes.
That was the night that Jirou was able to eat properly, or at least barely. Seeing Kaminari placed her heart at ease, still looking cheerful in that state of his, it's amazing. He's ridiculuous yeah, but he was strong, she thought. The afternoon they shared made her much closer to the blonde as he had told her about his family and quirks, which she had listened eagerly. He told her that he's going to be okay countless times. Reasons like he was naturally strong, he's mighty, he's handsome, he's gone through this multiple times and he's doing it for her.
Jirou dropped her chopsticks that caught the attention of Momo beside her. They were eating together alone at the kitchen's counter, few of her classmates; Midoriya, Todoroki, Iida and others were at the sofas. She was reminded being thankful that Kirishima and the group was not down there as their stares still gets her off.
Kaminari said that he wanted her to visit him always and he was going to be okay all because he wanted to say something to her. "Same time." she said before leaving Kaminari's room reluctantly. After she asked what was that, Kaminari became off, negative and quiet. She could not ask what was wrong, until she couldn't bear the awkwardness.
She remembered him saying he thought that he would not last longer, in which he kept on shrugging off too, laughing and flustered. Jirou thought it was maybe because of the medicines he was taking? Or he meant it? She must be positive, Kaminari was, so she should be right?
"Jirou, you okay?" Momo asked, Jirou nodded with a small smile and continued eating.
So soft. All that she could describe. What is this feeling? Jirou was seeing herself in her dreams. Glaring, scowling and just minding her own business while sitting at the classroom. It was her, but something felt different. She looked beautiful, gorgeous and so precious. Herself in the dream looked at her, and laughed.
"Pffftt! Kaminari, you're such an idiot huh?"
Huh? Kaminari? But she's not Kaminari, she's Jirou. With a long blink, Jirou saw Kaminari beaming back at her and it seemed that she switched position with herself earlier.
"I don't understand, but I really don't care." he said coldly.
New dream. Same nightmare. That time, Kaminari stood up from his seat. And Jirou could not reach him.
Waking up from the dream felt absurd in the chest. Jirou's heart were pounding inside her and she was feeling a desire to see Kaminari right away. She was not feeling any of these before. And it was messing her up. Just what the hell was that dream that sucks her feelings bad? Jirou tossed everything on the floor and breathed. It's Monday and she needed to concentrate.
After grooming and doing hygeine herself, she went to knock on Momo's again but now she was feeling quite shy. Her bestfriend showed up with her uniform, praising for a good timing and asked what was it that she needed.
"Can you please braid my hair again?"
Jirou didn't know why, but she felt more confident than embarassed with her edgy side braid. She believed that she was going to spent the Monday smoothly and slip through Kaminari's room, touching her braid from time to time and smiling inside as her cheeks felt like burning. No. It's not that! Maybe it was because of how Momo said how cool she looked with the style. But- ugh! Whatever.
Why did she feel so cheerful anyway? It was like she didn't have that blasted dream hours ago. Maybe because of her braid. She felt like showing it to Kaminari again and she would hear him compliment- Jirou didn't realize she was grinning to herself and touching her hair when she passed by Kirishima at the opposite side of the hallway.
It was their lunch break and lockers' area was a bit jammed. And Jirou could clearly see Kirishima's awkward stare - the one that would stare at you with an uncertain look and somehow refused to look away. What's the problem? Jirou looked back with a frightened stare, her breath stopping.
It was those looks. What's the matter? Didn't Kaminari talked to them? Or did they even visited Kaminari? Jirou felt so small, like she did something gruesome, unforgivable. Red eyes bore right through her and another confused. Bakugou was there and tugged Kirishima, the same time Momo pulled her wrist which surprised her.
She heard her name being called out after but she ran up to the women's comfort room, two floors above, breath shaking and eyes clouding. Jirou slammed herself on the sink and twisted the faucet on. She was grateful no one was there as she sobbed silently, her distorted face on the reflection was what she saw. Scenes from the first day she had jabbed Kaminari had came back.
Placcid hand lay on the stretcher. Panicked screams. Eyes rolling back.
Jirou tore her braid off, yelping at the pain. Something red was on her fingers from clawing at it. She was not terrified as she looked at it several seconds more. Suddenly coming to her when blood came dripping through her jacks to her vest, where she quickly dove into action, washing off the crimson off her scalp and ear and finishing by wiping using her removed stained vest.
Kaminari was sitting upright and was enthused at waving his legs at the bedside when she visited at the same time again. With a gloomy look on her face, Kaminari perked up in response.
"Oh? Jirou! Did something bad happened?"
Jirou glanced at Kaminari who was a bit coloured today and a nasal cannula was in place instead of a mask. An irresistable concerned look was on his face and a pout felt like it saved her.
"I'm okay. The classes were just heavy as hell." Jirou remarked, chuckling faintly.
"Where's your braid?"
Oh her braid? Jirou placed fingers on her aching new wound, remembering how she felt so mad about herself, she turned away at Kaminari, feeling embarrassed. Something glowing she sensed on her cheeks.
"I.. removed it."
Jirou hummed in agreement.
"What was that braid?" he rather questioned.
She stuttered, "I-It was an edgy side braid." Jirou was getting redder at the moment, "Why do you even want to ask that?" she blurted out much to her chagrin, though hours ago she was excited to show it to him.
"Come." he said.
Huh? Kaminari positioned himself farther, making space for someone to sit on his bedside. He motioned Jirou to sit in front of him and there is no way Jirou's gonna get there.
"What- no. What the hell do you want to do Kaminari?" Jirou scowled, crossing her arms on her chest.
Kamimari just smiled faintly, "Just sit here."
And she was now sitting in front of him, with her back facing him. With a roll on her eyes, she huffed her way there. Displaying an irritated face while feeling giddy and gooey inside. Damn. What for? Then she felt a faint shock ran through her scalp.
"Shhh." he hushed, sounded serious, "Just stay still."
Touch after touch on her hair, the shocks became more of pleasing tingles that was not bad. Kaminari was brushing his hands on her mauve hair, hands gentle, caring but firm. And god, Jirou loved it.
Minutes later, Jirou was getting a bit sleepy, not to mention flushed red, as it felt like Kaminari was weaving small amounts of her hair into a braid. Talking like a relaxing white noise how hard for him was a french braid and that he was trying an easy but would fit her perfectly. Slowly but tenderly, his hands were shaking a bit but he was doing it patiently and Kaminari was so into it.
"Uhh so.." Jirou hesitated, "How do you feel now? I see that you dropped the mask and could sit confidently."
They spoke in such soft voices that sounded sweet and only them could hear each other.
Kamimari answered, "The quirk delibitating medications are doing the work. But it's worth a lot, having them imported overseas." he sighed, sending shivers through Jirou's neck, oohh, too much tingles was making her drowsy, "Its side effects on me are unknown, but they were going to try a shot a day." he ended sounding glum and she felt it too.
"But I am happy, y'know. Today's the day where I felt much alive. And I think it's going to fix me, just a little more hours." he added, positivity blooming in his voice, "I've seen my parents for the first time here, they work at a shift where I sleep when they had a chance to visit. They just left before you came."
Jirou's eyes suddenly cracked open, she almost caught sight of Mr. and Mrs. Kaminari and it felt weird again as her heart fluttered. Just why though? And if he was fully aware and capable like this, why didn't he asked his friends first after his parents? Remembering how Kirishima and the others moved towards her, how they were basically around her and she had ignored their chilly gazes.
Seeming like Kaminari heard her inside thoughts, "I also heard that Kirishima and the others were visiting me while I am sedated. Well now, the time felt short and I really feel like seeing you first." he reasoned, his voice smooth with the hint of flirtation.
"Stupid!" Jirou exclaimed, now blushing madly and ever since the incident, she learned to control her earjacks especially when it comes to him. Kaminari just laughed back and yes, it was like how Jirou woke up, needing to see the blonde immediately. It was weird but she chose not to dwell on that.
Kaminari moved to her right side after making thin braids at the left and two above her head, "That edgy side braid," he mumbled, "you had that at I-Island right?"
"Yeah." Jirou was reminded of it and it really made her uneasy and hot cheeked. Kaminari huffed with delight, "You know that idiom I said?" he asked, trying not to laugh obvious in this voice.
"'The clothes make the man'?" Jirou said boredly, glaring at who-knows. She knew it was an insult or whatever it is, it did not stick to her as a compliment.
"It means what you're wearing says about you. And what you were wearing was pretty so-"
"-pffftt!" Jirou almost screamed, her hands flew to her mouth, "Shut up Kaminari!" she complained, fuck, she's a tomato now.
"It's truee-" Kaminari sang before cut off by something, "-Jirou, what's this?"
Jirou suddenly realized that he was at the part where she tore her braid, jumping off the bed. She held that side protectively and hidden from him. Kaminari shot her a grave look, tilting his head in angry concern.
"Jirou, what happened to that? It looks on purpose and fresh. Did you just got hit by something? Or did you just tore-"
"-no! I was- I just-" Jirou thought of an excuse but nothing came off, still standing still in front of Kaminari.
"Jirou," he spoke calmly this time, "come back here."
Jirou did so obediently, no one saying a word until Kaminari finished the half up style with four of the thin braids meeting elegantly together at the center.
"Now that's pretty." Kaminari breathed in awe. Jirou placed the mirror down on her lap and ran a finger through the knots.
Jirou refused to look at him, she looked at the ground with legs swaying slightly. She knew what he's going to say, it's about the guilt again. Her guilt.
"Do you still remember?" Kaminari whispered into her ear, his lips nearly touching the back of it. Jirou froze but it's not the right time to feel flustered. "It's myself, my body..and my quirk. Please stop being mad to yourself, I know..by that look..."
At his last word cut, a weight crashed on Jirou's back. A head of blonde hair rested on her shoulder, she cannot see his face but his hands were half-wrapped on her waist. Did he just hugged her? No. There was something wrong, as Kaminari was damn heavy on her back, hands limp and unmoving.
this chapter became twice longer than the first one hahahah AND IT'S BEST BOY DENKI'S BIRTHDAY TODAY AAAAAAAAAAA!! IM SO SORRY HONEY
anyway thank you for the comments! please feel free to drop one below! LOTS OF FREAKINH LOVE <3333
Chapter 3: Hate
i've got a thing for ending chapters like that i'm sorryy hahaha OTL it feels so wrong??
anyway, thank you for the comments! ^O^/
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Weaved, talked and slept.
At the same time, after his parents' visit. Jirou and Kaminari sat at the same spot. Giggling, talking about school and lots of stuff. She never had realized how much they could talk about until those days where they snug together, Kaminari weaving her hair into braids he liked. And him, suddenly falling asleep after an hour or so.
The next day, Kaminari tried the crown braid. Knots hung on Jirou's head like a tiara, almost needing a hair setter but it looked lovely on her. Having her catching Kaminari later as he was about to fall on the other side of the bed, asleep.
Wednesday was a french top knot, for a sweet badass look in match with her black sweater and ripped jeans. Then a dutch braid on Thursday where Kaminari failed to finish the other half, deliriously begging for him to sleep as he felt so tired.
One thing was certain for Jirou, his waking hours became shorter and shorter. They said it was the effects of the quirk debilitating medications, but it seemed that he was getting the same effects of deactivating his quirk in a safer way. It was not bad though, but the end of the unstable state of his quirk was still not seen.
Until they didn't let him take it at Friday and prepared to transfer him. Damn. They still could not find a way until Jirou learned from Aizawa-sensei that he was sent to a quirk research facility much farther from the school where he could let his quirk on the loose while being monitored quirk-wise and health-wise.
Kaminari felt normal, walking around the insulated steel walls of the spacious brightly lit room he was in. There were few furnitures inside; a single bed with a bedside table pushed to a wall, a shelf of books and a digitally locked door at the next wall and opposite to the bed was a comfy chair facing a glass made for the visitors to see him, all in monochrome colors.
The white gridded pajamas of the faclity was comfortable for him, but the tinted black glass wall opposite the shelves was making him feel embarrassed as he knew there were some people out there, observing him. It was boring that he was touching the wall curiously while tiny yellow bolts were continuously discharging from his fingers.
Looking at it, he remembered his dreams of Jirou as he stared at his hand.
He was seeing himself. It was weird, it looked like he was looking at himself from another view. That Kaminari on his dream has dynamic reactions, a loud hyper voice and a silly short-circuited face that was so funny and cute for him. He felt so soft. What the fuck? Yeah, he's freakin' handsome anyway.
However, the class started to fade in white. The Kaminari he was seeing was alone, tearful as he looked at his hands. It was the worst, seeing himself like that.
"I am really an idiot, you think so too huh, Jirou?" himself beside him said. Being confused, he's not Jirou. He's him. And within a blink, his view changed to looking at his hand, turning to Jirou who was sitting beside him.
"Yeah, I do, but hey, being this stupid make you happy right?" the Jirou on his dream said, suddenly smiling that looked so sweet a toothache's coming.
Whatever did that mean was unclear, but every time he dreamed of the same thing, he felt like seeing Jirou. It was odd and his chest hurt. And his mind was a mess. What am I feeling?
Kaminari was distracted by a voice from the visitor's area behind the clear glass. Kirishima was waving his hand right there, Bakugou and Sero was with him too.
"Kirishima!" he called back, walking from the wall nearby the shelves. Kaminari sat on the chair in front of the glass while the other did the same, the other two standing on opposite sides.
"Bro! It has been a long time since we've seen you awake." Kirishima almost cried, "Damn, we miss you so much."
"I missed you guys too! And I'm glad you brought Bakugou along." Kaminari sneered, earning a glare from the latter.
It was that time to catch up. With the exception of Bakugou, who was just silent and cursing with agreement, they did a lot of talking. Kaminari's electricity sparking out of him whenever he laughed much to their surprise. One time, he sneezed that the lights went off a second, sending a wave of currents inside the room.
"So, it was no good suppressing it huh?" Kirishima pondered, referring to his quirk, "That's why it suffers you from the inside, damn, that sounds like feelings."
Feelings, huh? That got him wondered. Ever since Jirou had jabbed him, his quirk went haywire. Like feelings.. Nah. That's absurd. Flares of yellow popping from his hidden hands, Kaminari sighed and asked them something.
"How was Jirou doing?"
There was a sudden change in their expressions, especially on Kirishima, where he had to look away. A look of uncertainty and disappointment on his face. Kaminari prompted again, and this time Bakugou spoke.
"That bastard made your quirk go fucking nuts right? Who knows what she had sent into your body. I doubt it. There must be some reason. But shitty hair right here had been thinking about it a lot it throws me off."
"Guys?!" Kaminari reacted in disbelief, "It is not her fault-"
"-Dude! If you had saw it happen on your friend, you wouldn't know how to react right?" Kirishima cut him off, eyes sparkling in frustration, "We had no one to blame and Kaminari, I got so scared.." his fists clenched hard, "We got so scared that all we see was Jirou! It was so hard to handle but now I'm telling you that we were dead worried!"
Kaminari realized he went wrong. He failed to talk to his friends about their feelings, spending all waking hours with Jirou with her hair that smelled like caramel. Seeing all of them mad for being like this right now. It was the time for them to be at ease like how he wants Jirou to be.
"Kirishima, Sero, Bakugou, I was born like this, you know that." Kaminari started, looking down on his silently snapping fingers. "I have no tolerance to this. You know the killer headaches every time the wheying went off? My mother does not experience any of that. Unlike her, my static was also inside like how my father's quirk was inside him. I am a fucking mutated live wire."
He breathed, as the idea weighted on his chest like how it does always, "And about Jirou, it's up to me to know what's wrong. Why did that jab had an impact." Kirishima and the others gazed in concern as Kaminari clung on his ribs, "And why I feel like something must be said.. this pain.."
Jirou thought that she came at the wrong time. She froze at the voices of Kirishima and Sero by the visiting area, her grip on a pack of rubber bands tightening. Why did she even bought this? It's not like Kaminari's allowed to touch her. But to hell with it, she keeped it at her backpack's pocket and somehow decided to eavesdrop.
"How was Jirou doing?"
She held her breath. Me? Jirou's hands were on her mouth. Her heart rushed as she stuck herself on the wall beside the door, unseen. Choosing between hearing properly using her earjacks or not. No. She couldn't be as her heart was out rampaging.
"That bastard made your quirk go fucking nuts.." What? Jirou's knees shook as she prevented herself from collapsing, little gasps coming out of her lips, "..Who knows what she had sent.."
It was not her fault, right? Right Kaminari? Jirou's feet was moving in its own, backing away from the sounds of their voice that felt like echoes. She was at a distance where they are impossible to be heard clearly but she could pick up words that Jirou does not need to hear.
"...you had saw it happen on your friend you wouldn't know.... "
"...and Kaminari...we got so .. all we see was Jirou!"
All we see was Jirou
All they see was you.
Eyes gazing at her with horror. Clenched fists. Uncertain stares. Kaminari's weak smile.
There it went again. That feeling. Jirou fled away, not wanting to drop her knees on the floor, her own nervous gasps and footsteps were what she's hearing. But still god. She thought she had gotten over this.
Jirou rushed down the stairs, almost tripping and falling because of her knees and her palms due to sweat. She swung around til she saw herself kneeling outside the facility's emergency exit, her hand grasping the popcorn rough wall and the other at her head.
"It's not bad to hold back, you know. Didn't know your quirk could be dangerous to him?"
"That doesn't look okay right now, Jirou."
"For goodness' sake Jirou, your quirk is not supposed to be used for playtime. Though only vibrations from your heart, it may have some bad effect on someone. I am going to call your parents."
She slammed at her head several times. Groaning terribly that her throat hurt and tears were falling on her skirt. Jirou repeated the words as flashbacks were sullying her mind.
Jirou saw herself at her comfort room, huddled over the toilet as she retched crying. Fuck. Jirou didn't mean to do any of those. She didn't mean to hurt him! Now Kaminari was at the hospital. News he was not doing good and shit-
"-My! Fucking! Head! Get the hell off! Kami..nari!"
Dear god. She was the reason of all of this. Kaminari's gentle hand was above her hair. It was all her fault. He said that it was not. But it was, it was all her fault, Kaminari being admitted until now that he was transferred. The boy looked into her eyes and said he's going to be fine. Even though, she was the reason why he was now basically locked out of the world, his quirk made unstable by her heart.
Yup, it was all her fault. Pretending to be all optimistic, when a single stare, the sun set and she's all alone, it was coming back and was on her shoulders. The guilt.
It's all your fault, stupid Jirou.
Jirou was reverted to reality. Where was she? And when did she got there? An explosion was at the side of the road, a ash blonde boy catapulting himself to whom? Her? She looked up and saw an incoming truck, its red paint glinting from the sunset. Next, an earsplitting beep was heard from a fade.
A strong harsh hand grasped her arm. Bakugou? Jirou looked at the latter and he was mad, his brows furrowed, eyes were not looking at her and her arm sored from his grip.
When they landed, that was when Jirou realized they had flown away from the large vehicle. She turned to Bakugou who was holding his arm, grunting in pain. It took seconds for Jirou to process everything.
"You.. fucking stupid!" Bakugou hissed, pulling away from the brace he made for him to be the one to land on the ground. Blood smeared his uniform sleeve which Jirou looked at in horror, she remained on the ground, speechless.
"Bakugou! You alright dude?" Sero asked, gasping, "That's nasty, let's clean that up!"
Jirou averted from the sight, gazing at the ground instead, breath shaking and nervous. What the hell just happened? Did Bakugou just saved her and ended up scarred? And when did she waddled at this street? God, Bakugou.. Here it goes again.
A presence was in front of her, that has been in place as her though people walked away in their common pace. She slowly looked up, seeing Kirishima looking down at her. The expression she was expecting was not there, instead a soulful apologetic stare was on his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Jirou."
His hand was reached out.
That was disgusting, grimacing internally to herself. Learning that they watched her while she was at a vulnerable state. Jirou couldn't bear the fact that they were there. And followed her until she crossed the street thus that happened. She felt even worse.
But maybe not, as Kirishima said things that lightened the entity of guilt on her back. He apologized for making her feel that way, when he could just consider Kaminari's feelings. And that he would not blame anyone. He cried it was not manly and he was just the same as her, terrified and mad to himself that he kept his emotions, leading him to do things that's not good in the end.
"It is not wise to hold back these kind of feelings, Jirou." he looked at her kindly, "Please tell him how much you feel."
Yes, she will. Jirou nodded in response, waving at Kirishima as he walked out of the facility's entrance.
In a few steps he stopped and turned back to Jirou, "And by the way, he told us to take care of you."
Kirishima's voice was thick, sighing. It seemed like he was hesistant to say something.
"Because?" Jirou prompted, her heart suddenly throbbed.
"Because, he cannot take care of you any longer." he ended with disbelief on his tone, "It's what he said, it was strange, but I don't know what he meant."
So, Kaminari also mentioned that to them? And now that he was full on conscious? Perhaps, there was nothing wrong on opening that to him now huh? Jirou hummed, and replied, "I'll make it clear this time."
i've got into a major crisis that is losing my draft for the last chapter.. i was SO MAD hahaha lesson learned: you must back up your drafts, or else you'll start it all over again ;-;