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Rubbing shoulders

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They’re at a panel. It’s one of those rare opportunities where they all get to be up on stage. He doesn’t mind these sort of interviews. It’s not always he gets to spend some interview time with all his cast mates, as an artist he liked getting everyone’s thoughts on there characters and the show – rubbing shoulders with his co starts, as he liked to think of it. Except in this particular interview , he had been literally rubbing shoulder with one of his fellow actors. Some guy named Tyler Blackburn, who like himself, had been on another successful TV series. Pretty little liars, he didn’t know much about the other mans work, except that it was based on a book like Roswell was. Someone had told him.

He can feel the other mans arms touch his, every time he moves. Whether it’s to hold the Microphone up, when hes asked a question, or to get comfortable in his seat. And what did he have up his arse, worms? Hes not sure why this bothers him so much. It’s not like he hadn’t been this close to other co-worker before, on interviews.

Why was this bothering him so much. He recalls back to what he had overheard some of the crew, and the other male cast saying. Apparently the guy was bisexual, or something like that. He had remembered a comment that one of the older Male actors of the show had said, about not being both, your either one or the other. Explaining how it was all a cop-out of having to pick one or the other.

His heart is beating kind of fast and he compares it to the same feeling as when hed been asked a fan question in the past that he hadn’t wanted to answer before. The feeling of dread at them discovering something about his personal life, hed really just rather keep to himself. Not that you could do that as an actor. But why was this the same feeling. Why did he care so much that this guy was so close to him, he didn’t know him as well as some of the other people, up on stage, from the panel. Most of them being old aquatensis from his other shows like the originals and the vampire diaries, hed bumped into now and then whilst shooting said shows. But this guy he didn’t even know much, maybe having a couple of scenes together, but he had remembered not really connecting with the other man, not really talking to him much whilst shooting scenes, there was other people he was much closer to.

The man beside him gets asked a question. His arm going up to hold the microphone close to his mouth, he looks down looking at the other mans leg, inches away from his, hoping his leg wouldn’t be the next thing to make contact, and before he even knows what he’s doing, he's looking between the other mans legs, right in the middle, where his private parts where. And why the hell was he looking there, he looks back up immediately into the crowd of fans, why was he looking there. Eyes slightly enlarged with fear.

He can hear the other mans voice.

“It was so relevant and topical, and, you know, my character especially to be in the air force and to be gay. I think is an important story to tell. And this love story. I mean, and as the season unfolds, too, it just becomes more and more intense. And it’s just so true. It’s just as true as any other romance, to exist. And I think that it doesn’t even make it, like any more important thought, is the thing.”

"And I think that’s what my favourite part of the whole story telling is. Is that it’s just love. And that excited me, to just tell that story."

He’s tapping his feet on the rest of the stole now, anything to push down the thought that maybe this was a sexual thing, the only time hed felt this way was when he was around other people he knew where sexually inclined differently to himself. He swallows as nervous saliva forms in his mouth. And he knows hes breathing in heavy, all he wants is for this interview to be over, and why couldn’t they have sat him next to someone else. Making a mental note, to ask not to be sat next to him, next time.

He quickly pushes all of this down, not liking where his mind was connecting the dots to. He wasn’t gay. Even if he did sometimes watch gay porn. He was an actor and actors didn’t get roles if they where gay, he puts down his porn habits to research, just in case he ever has to play a gay role.