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Ajax Group Chat

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Hakim Ziyech has added Noussair Mazraoui, Matthijs de Ligt, Frenkie de Jong, Lasse Schöne, KJ Huntelaar, Donny van de Beek, Andre Onana, Nico Tagliafico, Daley Blind, and Lisandro Magallan to the chat

 

Hakim: I thought we needed a group chat

 

Hakim: For Ajax, you know

 

Noussair: you’re so full of it

 

Noussair: you just complained about being bored for the last half hour

 

Noussair: Hakimi and I TRIED to get you to swim with us 

 

Noussair: ...instead you made a group chat?

 

Donny: Hey I like this idea

 

Matthijs: Why didn’t we add Dus?

 

Matthijs: But we added Licha?

 

Lisandro: :(

 

Matthijs: Sorry Licha :(

 

Lisandro: :)

 

Donny: :)

 

Matthijs: :)

 

KJ: no carel??

 

Noussair: he’s bored, not smart 

 

Hakim: why are you so mean to me babe

 

Donny: b a be??

 

Matthijs: Did we miss something??

 

Lasse: I’m muting you 

 

Nico: Lasse it’s been five minutes 

 

Hakim: Speaking or grumpy Danes, I DO know I forgot someone

 

Hakim Ziyech has added Kasper Dolberg to the chat

 

Kasper: ????

 

Kasper: We already had a group chat

 

Kasper: What is this??

 

Daley: hakim is bored 

 

Donny: did we all miss the part where hakim called nous “babe” or did i imagine that too?

 

Matthijs: oh about that, since when was this a thing?

 

Noussair: i missed out on that being a thing too 

 

Hakim: It’s just a nickname everyone is babe

 

KJ: Lasse, come back babe

 

Lasse: Don’t do that

 

Nico: Where is Dusan? Carel? Veltman?

 

Frenkie: I thought you couldn’t speak English Nico

 

Nico: I tHoUght yOu cOuldn’T sPeaK eNgliSh nIco

 

Frenkie: ://

 

Andre: He’s Argentine not stupid 

 

Lisandro: Yeah!!

 

Andre: On second thought maybe they’re the same thing

 

Lisandro: :(

 

Hakim: Good point

 

Hakim Ziyech has added Joël Veltman to the chat

 

Hakim: Veltman!

 

KJ: Why is Frenkiestein here but not the other Daley or Lisandro? 

 

Frenkie: HEY

 

Matthijs: You’re not an Ajax player, Frenk

 

Andre: oh deary me

 

Kasper: the irony 

 

Daley: Hey the Danes completed a rhyme!

 

Andre: The who now?

 

Frenkie: Daley do you think before you speak 

 

Daley: Did you think before transferring to FC Croatialona?

 

Frenkie: ........

 

Lasse: Lmfao oh shit

 

Hakim: Nous is laughing like a goblin

 

Noussair: CROATIALONA

 

Donny: Hey welcome back Lasse!

 

Lasse: It’s Rasmus, why didn’t you add me?

 

Hakim: Good point 

 

Donny: WAIT 

 

Donny: Too soon to be adding any Portuguese 😔

 

Hakim: Does nobody have a memorable nationality??

 

Nico: If you get a yellow before the second leg, does it even make a sound? Do you pass the round of eight?

 

Nico: The answer is yes

 

Nico: Wij Zijn Ajax, bitches

 

Daley: ~Frenkie don’t interact~

 

Matthijs: Veltman can you do anything but read the chat and ghost?

 

KJ: I mean he kind of looks like a ghost

 

Joël: bitch.

 

Donny: @Hakim what does a goblin laughing sound like

 

Hakim: Like Nous the Goose

 

Donny: thanks

 

Noussair: Nous the goose

 

Daley: Nous the goose

 

KJ: Nous the goose

 

Nico: Nous the goose 

 

Kasper: You laugh kind of like a goose Donny

 

Donny: Am I a cute goose? :)

 

Kasper: Sure Don you’re the cutest goose

 

Frenkie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  

 

Lisandro: Okay the other Lisandro? New Lisandro?

 

Andre: Didn’t you hear Donny? It’s tOo early for new pOrtuGese!1!1

 

Donny: oh wait

 

Hakim: Good point 

 

Hakim Ziyech has added Bruno Varela

 

Andre: Brother!

 

Bruno: Hi hi hi

 

Frenkie: You added the one Portuguese we have 

 

Hakim: And? Bite me.

 

KJ: Woah there

 

Bruno: Why no Portuguese?

 

Matthijs: cough nations league final cough

 

Andre: He didn’t even

 

Bruno: I didn’t even play

 

Hakim: EXACTLY @Donny 

 

Donny: Whatever. Ooh add the other Daley 

 

Lasse: And Dusan

 

Kasper: I thought you left?

 

Lasse: Sometimes I am Hakim

 

Nico: explain

 

Lasse: Do dumb stuff when I’m bored

 

Lasse: Like checking this chat

 

Lisandro: :o 

 

Hakim Ziyech has added Daley Sinkgraven, Carel Eiting, Lisandro Martínez, Dušan Tadić, and Rasmus  Nissan Kristensen

 

Rasmus: took you long enough

 

Hakim: I brought you into this group chat I can take you out just as easily

 

Daley: woah calm down mom

 

Daley: Yeah Mama calm please

 

Lisandro: How can we tell the Daleys apart??

 

Lisandro: good point

 

Daley: I’m Blind 

 

Hakim: then how are you playing ://

 

Daley: smartass

 

Blind: I’m Daley Blind

 

Blind: You can keep your name, Sinkie

 

Daley: :) 

 

Dušan: Hello friends!

 

Bruno: Wait did you seriously not add Neres??

 

Frenkie: holy shit we forgot Neres 

 

Matthijs: Correction: Hakim forgot Neres.

 

Noussair: Keem forgot half the roster 

 

KJ: Well isn’t that unfortunate 

 

Lisandro: So I think you should be Lisandro M. And I’m regular Lisandro

 

Nico: aren’t you both... Lisandro M.?

 

Licha: Is this better

 

Lisandro: I just got here help

 

Andre: You are in for a ride my friend 

 

Donny: Don’t you all speak Spanish? Why English?

 

Frenkie: I don’t see us speaking Dutch, Don

 

Matthijs: or Dus speaking Serbian 

 

Dušan: Nobody speaks Serbian here!

 

Bruno: I could probably talk to someone in my native language

 

Bruno: IF SOMEONE WOULD ADD NERES

 

Noussair: keem what language do we speak 

 

Hakim: Whatever we want to speak in babe

 

Joël: Babe?

 

Blind: Oh yeah you weren’t here for that

 

Blind: Ziyechinho says it’s a nickname for everyone 

 

Blind: but has only used it for Nous

 

Daley: Where’s my babe?

 

Hakim: oh yeah I forgot to add him

 

Hakim Ziyech has added Václav Černý 

 

Daley: ❤️ :)

 

Matthijs: wholesome

 

Václav: hey!

 

Václav: didn’t we already have a group chat?

 

Kasper: Right!

 

KJ: Yeah But Hakim made another

 

Hakim: That was for training. This is for cool kids and fun

 

Andre: Minus Neres

 

Bruno: We want Neres!

 

Dušan: A kid. I feel 19 and hip again. 

 

Matthijs: I am 19 and hip

 

Carel: I’m 21 and almost broke my hip 

 

Donny: Oof too soon Carel

 

Carel: I’m the one who got the surgery though-

 

Nico: Neres anyone??

 

Licha: Hakim can we add Neres?

 

Blind: He makes one good point 

 

Licha: Score!

 

Noussair: why don’t you add david

 

Hakim: He Knows What He Did

 

Kasper: ... What did he do

 

Andre: Now I’m scared of Neres

 

Nico: Ik zet herres ik zet herres

 

Matthijs: Op die flank als David

 

Bruno: Neres!

 

Frenkie: Imagine not being in the song

 

Lasse: Imagine playing under Valverde right now

 

Daley: Lasse comes to roast and leaves again

 

Daley: I relate

 

Kasper: my aesthetic tbh

 

Donny: Your aesthetic is being adorable!

 

Václav: How much did I miss??

 

Carel: Ditto

 

Lisandro: I third that

 

Daley: I fourth that

 

KJ: I’ve been here the whole time and I’m not even sure

 

Nico: Are we ever sure? Is sure a feeling? An emotion? A doubt? Am I sure I play for Argentina? Countries are a concept. The world is my Pangea and I play for Mother Nature.

 

Hakim: Fuckin hell Galileo where did that come from

 

Matthijs: the heart

 

Frenkie: The Soul

 

Licha: The existential crisis

 

Dušan: Can I play for Argentina then? 

 

Nico: No I don’t want to be battered by Ukraine

 

Noussair: Nous the goose has returned I’m dead 

 

Dušan: At least we made it to the World Cup!

 

Lisandro: We did too tho

 

Licha: It wasn’t one to remember but yeah 

 

Dušan: If Ghandi here wants to play for everyone he can play for the Dutch too. Boom roasted. 

 

Klaas: Hey

 

Matthijs: What’s that supposed to mean?

 

Frenkie: Oof ouch that hurted

 

Donny: Koeman is mean to me but HEY

 

Blind: Suddenly I am my name. I cannot see

 

Carel: I wasn’t called up but.... harsh

 

Andre: We’re in a group chat because of a Dutch club though 

 

Václav: World Cups are for losers 

 

Andre: Agreed

 

Bruno: Okay but can somebody add Neres??