Chapter 1: Soft angels never win.
Gabriel heard the hard steps on the spotless marble floor of their department, approaching his office. He swallowed hard and stood up fixing his suit jacket and waited for the storm it was about to open his personal office door without knocking first.
"How could you be tricked like that by an angel under your charge, Gabriel?" the female voice of Jofiel sounded after the violent sound of the door crashing against the wall.
"Oh, hello, Jofiel" the archangel smiled nervously and obviously intimidated by the less kind of his co-commanders. "Look, we weren't exactly tricked by him, we think he has spent too much time in the earth, he has somehow..turned into something else...maybe half of a human?". Not even he believed so, a human would have burnt even easier, but what else could he say? Nobody understood what happened that day.
The white eyes of Jofiel pierced Gabriel's making him swallow hard once again. "That's the most stupid thing I have heard since the last twitt of that american human leader...you not only allowed Aziraphale to escape from the divine punishment he deserved for committing treason, but you also allowed him to come back to the earth with that disgusting demon friend of him…". Jofiel made a disgusted face, if there was an angel who hated demons with his whole soul that was her.
"Jofiel, Aziraphale survived to fire...what else did you want us to do? Maybe it was just part of the divine plan" Gabriel tried to defend himself with a smile but Jofiel was not buying it and she grabbed the archangel by the neck of his shirt. "How do you dare? God would never want an angel betraying one of us and less with the help of one of our enemies! He didn't survive to any fire...it was obviously a trick" she let him go pushing him. Gabriel looked at her in obvious distress. He wasn't used to be treated like that. It wasn't common between the angels but Jofiel has always been a bit different from the rest.
"There's not need for violence between us" the one with purple eyes said, fixing the collar of his shirt. "What is done is done, let's talk about what comes next instead keeping arguing about what we can't change, alright?".
Jofiel snorted with a smirk on her face. "If I'm here is just to talk about what you have done wrong, about your ineptitude. What comes next is not your business anymore. I'm in charge now by the divine board" she reached his arm and from his hand appeared a paper signed with gold signs.
Gabriel opened his eyes wide and was about to protest but the other archangel talked first. "I will let you know if I find in my plan some easy simple task you can't ruin. Thank you for your time". Saying that, Jofiel stormed out of the room as fast as she came in, leaving Gabriel in his place, absolutely frustrated and angry. But he wasn't exactly angry at his co-commander but at the angel and the demon that ruined everything.
Talking about these two. Since they stopped the Armageddon and made it alive from their head officers punishment, they had been meeting even more regular than ever.
For Aziraphale the idea of being by his own was still weird and sometimes he was worried about it or he was thinking about to apologize. Although, he didn't want to live anywhere else than in the earth, and he didn't want to lose his demon friend. That was clear in his mind.
But he hadn't opened his eyes completely about his head office and he still thought, they were like angels should be, good hearted creatures capables to forgive everything.
Of course there were angels like that, he was one of those, but it seemed like his head office laked of them.
On the contrary, Crowley didn't want to have any contact with his kind. He had never been better than he was by his own, nobody told him what to do and nobody supervised what he did.
But not everything was perfect. The demon had been suffering two weird thoughts. The while when he thought he had lost Aziraphale kept coming to his mind at least once per day, and it made him feel what humans called anxious. He couldn't help but to think how his life would be like if he had stopped the Armageddon alone and his friend was not longer with him. It really wouldn't make so much sense, he would have been so lonely.
The second thought happened whenever he was walking around whatever park and he saw couples kissing in a bench. Crowley started to ask himself how it would feel like. Humans' music, drinks, food, etc, were good when he had tried them, in fact he loved them, so what if he was losing something nice by not kissing?
That thought what was brought the conversation they were about to have that day. They had spent a nice day visiting a new artist collection in a popular art gallery that were based on angels theme. The artist painted angels and archangels how humans usually thought they were so the odd couple spent the evening making fun about how wrong the human concept about the angels was, specially when they found not at all accurate pictures about Gabriel and Michael.
Then they had a lovely early dinner in the Ritz before walking to their favourite park and sitting in their favourite bench.
"I still think it would be hilarious to see you with that roman style short skirt" Crowley said still making fun of the clothes the artist painted the angels with.
"Well, according to humans concept of demons, you should have a ridiculous tail and horns. That would be hilarious too" Aziraphale said with an offended tone and crowley snorted.
"The short thing is still funniest, angel". The blonde angel sighed and rolled his eyes not saying another word about it. He knew sometimes it was better to just ignore the childish attitude of his friend.
A couple passed by in front of them and they gave each other a peck kiss which reminded the demon one of the annoying thoughts that had been hunting him. "Aye, Aziraphale, have you ever been curious about...how kissing someone would feel or taste or...whatever?".
The question surprised the angel so he looked at Crowley with raised eyebrows. "I...I don't know...no? I guess no. That's a human need, we are supposed to not have it so…why? Are you…?" even with his sunglasses on, Aziraphale knew well that expression. "Oh no...don't tell me you are curious about that! Not again!" the angel protested.
"Again? I have never been curious about kissing before, angel".
"No, no about kissing, but about how to have a flu would feel, how to throw yourself from an airplane would feel…" the demon chuckled remembering that one. "Oh that was definitely fun".
"It wasn't fun at all! As neither it was when you were curious about hugging. Don't you remember how awkward it had felt?". Aziraphale looked away feeling his cheeks slightly blushed. It had been awkward because his heart started beating fast and they didn't know how long it had to be to do a proper hug.
It had been the same for Crowley. His heart beat faster and even the closeness felt good there was something that felt absolutely wrong and far from their understandment. So they decided it was just a complicated human thing they wouldn't explore anymore.
"I do. But maybe kissing is different. You owe me one anyway" the demon said pointing at the angel with his finger.
Aziraphale looked at him with his mouth opened, not believing he was going to use that, but of course he would, he was a demon. "I saved you from those annoying kids that entered in your shop last week".
"Oh, how do you dare? I could have manage them by myself" said the angel clearly offended by Crowley extorsion.
"Ye, but you didn't"
"But I could have…"
"but you didn't".
Aziraphale rolled his eyes once again and let escape a frustrated sound. Crowley wasn't going to drop it that easily, that was clear. "Well, but why me? You are attractive, whatever human would want to kiss you for sure, go find one".
Crowley pulled a bit down his sunglasses and looked at the angel smirking. "Am I?" he teased and the angel gave him another frustrated sound from his throat. "Every being is attractive for an angel, Crowley…" Aziraphale said trying to defend himself but it was not totally true. Angels didn't have the concept of attractive, that was something he had learn from humans. And under that learnt concept, none demon was attractive except Crowley.
The demon chuckled as answer. They didn't have that concept either and he didn't really achieved it from humans. He only could tell if someone was annoying to look at or not. And Aziraphale wasn't annoying to look at, at all.
"But you are my friend. I don't have humans friends" he made a theatrical pout that made the angel smile for a moment before coming back to the arguing.
"Friends don't kiss anyway, Crowley. As much I have learnt from humans, it's only lovers who kiss each other". Aziraphale was sure he won the arguing when Crowley didn't answer so he smiled satisfied with himself, but then the demon charged again.
"We are not humans, we don't need to follow their rules. I won't kiss anyone but you" the demon said with a serious determined tone that made the angel think he had got angry.
"You can't be that stubborn about something that...trivial, Crowley. Go and kiss a human, it won't be hard to do…". Aziraphale crossed his arms on his chest and looked away, determined to not give up to the demon's caprices again.
Crowley left his loosen posture on the bench and leaned on the angel, looking at him serious which made the angel look at him shocked at the sudden movement. "I don't want to kiss a human, I want to kiss you" the demon said surprising himself. He knew he was being stubborn about something stupid but he had learnt during their conversation that his curiosity was about kissing Aziraphale, not about kissing in general.
The angel looked at him frowning but his expression softened when he understood that Crowley probably only felt comfortable doing it with him, and it made his annoyance fade away. The thought of him being important for the demon always made his heart melt and that was why he always gave up at every crazy thing Crowley wanted to do.
Aziraphale sighed and looked away. "We can't kiss here anyway. We are surrounded by people and to their eyes, we are not demon and angel but two male humans kissing. And you know...sadly homophobia still exists...thanks to you, by the way".
The demon leaned back to his usual position smiling happily, he would get what he wanted as always, or as almost always. "It wasn't thank to me...it is not my fault humans are too stupid to understand your highness useless book...but okay, we will do it in private then".
The angel rolled his eyes for a third time. "I'm too soft" he sighed.
"I like your softness". Crowley smiled to the angel and the angel gave him a shily smile.
Chapter 2: Demons have their limits too
New boss introductions and broken hearts.
I'm sorry again about the possible mistakes about the right terms. As I said, I didn't read the book (YET). And I'm sorry about my english. I hope you like this chapter <3. Thank you so much for the comments and kudos, it means a lot to me <3 :).
The next day, Aziraphale woke up earlier than usual, excited because he was expecting the arrival of a collection of 3 books written by the known witch Mother Shipton. He had went into so much research and troubles to get them because they were supposedly lost, destroyed by the men who killed Mary Queen, a fact that the witch predicted on her books.
Luckily, it turned out that there were a few copies of them. Most of them had been chased and destroyed during the years but the last two of them, were still standing. One in possession of an eccentric duke that Aziraphale found alike to his dear demon friend, and a second one which had been locked and protected by the holy brothers of a monastery in Sevilla, Spain.
How and from who he got the collection was a secret the angel will always keep to himself, but the important thing was, he was finally about to have them in his hands.
The bell of his door rang just when he was preparing his cocoa but he didn't hesitate on running to the door and get the package. It was a regular packaging box, maybe a little too big for just three books. The angel went to his desk to take a scissors he could cut the plastic wrap with when the door rang again. It surprised the angel, he didn't expect anybody else and there was a clear notice on the door which said that day the shop would remain closed since he planned on examining and reading his new acquisition.
He thought about not opening the door. It was probably a rude customer that didn't take the time to read the note on the door.
But then, he heard the mechanical 'click' of his record player and the tango song ‘May you come with me’ started to sound. Aziraphale couldn't help but smile, he knew who was behind his door so he didn't hesitate on opening it once again.
"Morning, angel" Crowley said with a smirk on his face and didn't even wait for Aziraphale to answer when he placed one arm around the blonde angel’s waist and grabbed his hand in his leading him into the shop and making him spin around dancing the song.
Aziraphale chuckled and let him lead the dance even he knew he was doing it wrong. Demons weren’t good at salon dance, they were too structured and too “soft” for them, even tangos.
“What an original way of saying good morning, I won’t deny I like it” Aziraphale said after Crowley made him spin and held him in his arms, leaning his body over his, so the angel’s back was curled on his arm. “It’s always nice to start a day dancing, but tell me, what’s brought you here this early, I thought you weren’t a morning demon”. Crowley set him free putting him in a standing position and smirked.
“I thought about surprising you with a french breakfast” the demon clapped his fingers and two paper bags from the french cafe they liked appeared on the tea table. Aziraphale looked at it raising his eyebrows and then looked at Crowley starting to frown.
“I didn’t steal it, they were in my car, I just couldn’t dance with you while carrying them” the demon walked to the sofa and sat.
The angel smiled relieved. “Thank you, it’s very nice from you”. Crowley grunted. “I mean...just...thank you, filthy demon” he corrected himself and walked to the kitchen to get two plates and then sat on the sofa beside his friend.
“Did you get the books?” Crowley asked unpacking every he had bought at the cafe. The question made the angel realise he had almost forgotten about the package he was about to open, he would never admit it but he was more interested in his friend’s company than in them, even he had waited ages to have them.
“Oh yes, there they are, I still need to unpack them” he said pointing at the box with excitement.
“So your plan for today is to spend the whole day reading a witch nonsense?” the demon asked taking out from his jacket pocket a hisp flask and adding some of the whiskey on it on his coffee. He offered it to the angel, but he refused it with his hand.
“Her predictions weren’t nonsense, Crowley. Just because she failed at predicting Napoleon’s victory, doesn’t mean all her predictions were wrong. In fact, that one wasn’t utterly wrong if you think about it”. The angel took a piece of one of the chocolate croissants and hummed in pleasure. Crowley made a face not being totally convinced about that witch in question but let the topic go, he couldn’t compete against Aziraphale’s love for witches books, something he didn’t share or understood, but he respected, because they were friends, best friends.
“Well, ye, ye, whatever. The thing is, since I don’t think I can tempt you to do something truly fun, I will stay here until you finish, then we can go somewhere for dinner”.
Aziraphale couldn’t believe what he just heard. He turned his face to the demon not hiding his surprise. “Why? Doing what, Crowley?”.
The demon hesitated, and looked around looking for a good answer to that question. “Eeh...reading? Books?” he said clearly not even believing it himself. He hated reading.
The angel frowned. “You can’t read more than one paragraph without dying of boredom, Crowley. Don’t you have plants to take care of?” he turned to his delicious breakfast. “We can meet later for dinner”.
The truth was, Crowley had been spying his head office, hacking their communication system just to make sure they weren’t planning on going against him again. And they weren’t as long as he knew. But he had heard the archangel Jofiel had taken charge of Gabriel division after the archangel failure upon the Armageddon and the angel traitor. He knew that wasn’t a good signal, everybody knew Jofiel wasn’t a peaceful angel and demons knew that specially well. So if she took the charge, she would probably want to do something about Aziraphale and probably about him too. He wasn’t worried about himself, but about his friend.
Demons could protect themselves against angels, even to hide from them, but angels couldn’t hide themselves from angels as demons couldn’t hide themselves from demons, they would always find each other somehow.
Crowley thought about telling Aziraphale about that possible threat, but he probably wouldn’t think it was dangerous, or would think he could talk to Jofiel and make her understand the situation, so he decided to not, at least for the moment. So his plan was to keep his angel friend as close as possible, so if something would happen, he would be there to protect him. He wasn’t going to lose him again, even he never really lose him.
“My plants are completely fine, thanks. I’m just bored, I don’t have missions to do anymore, I’m receiving nothing from my head office, obviously, so...let me spend the day with you”. Aziraphale looked at him still surprised. “Not like I would go if you would say you won't let me so…” the demon mumbled while he took a sip of his alcoholized coffee.
“Alright” the angel said. He was surprised himself how fast he came with an answer, he should have refused for a bit longer, but deep inside, the idea of having Crowley with him the whole day, wasn’t that bad at all, just the opposite. He knew he was going to be a pain if he would get bored, but he couldn’t help it, even when the demon got like that, he liked being with him.
“But you are letting me read, clear?”. The demon was both surprised and grateful about his friend quick acceptance, he was ready to use a tons of excuses to stay there and he didn’t even had to use them. “Clear” Crowley nodded very decided to obey the angel for once.
“And you won’t put your bebop music while I’m concentrated on my stuff, clear?”.
The demon rolled his eyes. “It’s not bebop, Aziraphale, how many…”
“Clear?” the angel cut Crowley words pointing at him with a finger as a threat. “Alright, alright, clear” the demon answered with an already bored tone.
“Alright, I have a few suggestions for you to read” Aziraphale smiled satisfied turning back to his food and Crowley sighed deeply letting himself lean back on the sofa already regretting the plan, he was going to die of pure boredom.
The two friends opened the box and discovered the books wrapped in many clothes with christian symbols and prayers and a big wooden cross under them and another on them. So Aziraphale understood then why the box was ridiculously big.
As promised, the angel gave the demon some books he could entertain himself with while he was reading his very expected books. Crowley discarded them one by one as he started to read them and got bored at the very first paragraph, but finally, he got one he found a little bit interesting since it has a very bizarre view of hell. “The Divine Comedy” by Dante Alighieri. He remembered he had heard about that man around the 1318 years or so, and he was pretty interested on knowing him since he seemed to be a very peculiar person, but at the end, he never did.
Aziraphale was very concentrate on his books for a few hours and he was very surprised when he turned his head and saw Crowley really reading a book, laying on his sofa. He smiled and was about to ask him if he would like him to order some sushi for lunch when they both felt it. Aziraphale smile faded away leaving a frowning and the demon turned his head to him tensing up and getting to a sitting position.
It was a strong presence and it felt like a thousand eyes were looking at them from everywhere. Suddenly, the whole room was filled with a blinding gold light.
Crowley could guess what it was so he got ready to fight, tracking Aziraphale position with his eyes to jump into his defence at any moment.
The light faded away revealing the archangel Jophiel in the middle of the room, dressing a white suit that fitted his eyes and hair. Crowley immediately acted, not wanting to give the archangel a single chance so charged against him. He created a blocking magical wall between her and his friend who quickly stood up from his chair and was looking at the archangel absolutely terrified. “You are not taking him!” the demon yelled at Jophiel and the angel smiled and just with a movement of his hand, the wall was destroyed and crowley was threw against the sofa.
“Crowley!” Aziraphale finally reacted. “Jophiel, please, don’t…” he was about to beg her to not hurt his friend but she asked him to stay quiet with a gesture of his hand.
“I’m not here to fight, with any of you” she said looking at Crowley who was trying to stand up, but he couldn’t move because of the archangel attack. It was like she put a heavy weight on him and it didn’t matter how hard he tried to stand up, he couldn’t. “You are not taking him come back to the freakin heaven!” the demon yelled again tightening his teeth with frustration and rage, he was up to tore that archangel apart if she would put a hand on Aziraphale.
Jophiel rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’m not here to take him with me either, demon, so shut the fuck up”. Aziraphale raised his eyebrows because of the unappropriated language. “I was dying to get the chance to say so, I learnt it on twitter” the archangel said giggling to Aziraphale, but the angel wasn’t smiling at all. He was worried about Crowley not being able to move, and about the reason Jophiel was visiting him. “Why are you here? Where is Gabriel?” he asked anxious.
Jophiel snorted and started wandering around the room, checking on the books and looking around with curiosity. “I took his place temporarily since he wasn’t able to control you and to develop an easy plan as the Armagedon one was”.
Aziraphale swallowed hard. “So you are here to punish me…” the demon grunted and was about to yell again but Jophiel made him stay quiet with a clap of his fingers and threw him against the wall, pinning him there with his powers. In her face it was clear she was containing herself. If it wasn’t because of her plan she would have already killed that demon just when she first felt him around, but she needed him, sadly.
“Jophiel, stop! Don’t hurt him, please...punish me if you must, but leave him alone, he has nothing to do with this…” the angel begged looking terribly anxious to crowley and then to his new boss. The demon grunted and tried desperately to talk but everything that came out of his mouth were suffocated sounds, he didn’t want his friend to be punished not matter what.
Jophiel made a disgusted face. “I’m not hurting your boyfriend, I’m just stopping him from interrupting me, for heaven’s sake...you have not idea how hard is being for me to do this” she said approaching the angel with a threatening look in her eyes. “How could you, a formal angel, betray us for this world and also to be friend with that disgusting demon? How could you Aziraphale?!” her face started turning red with rage as she approached the angel. “...In our whole history, there’s not a treason as huge as yours...do you really think this world is that worthy? It is full of awful creatures killing each other just for money….and a demon, Aziraphale?!". The archangel pointed at Crowley and he grunted in protest, it was the only thing he could do. "How could you even enjoy a demon's company?! Even to conspire against us with him?!". Jophiel was yelling on his face at that point and the angel was doing his best to not even blink, to not barely breath. They looked at each other in silence for a moment. Aziraphale has any answer the archangel would like.
Of course The Earth was worthy. There were bad humans on it, but there were amazing ones as well, and it was a really beautiful world full of wonderful things. And about Crowley...he didn't do it on purpose, their ways kept crossing during the years and they started getting used to each other, and then to even like and need each other. He wasn't like any other demon anyway, he was different from everybody.
Jophiel narrowed his eyes on him, like she could read what he was thinking and then she stepped back, getting away from him but still looking at him with piercing eyes.
“Luckily, Aziraphale, I’m a very compassionate archangel. Poor you if Sariel would have took my place as it was the holy board first idea”. Jophiel crossed his arms over his chest and looked at the terrified angel with a smirk. “Contrary to the rest of the head office, I believe in redemption, so I believe in you. I’m sure you still can show us you are loyal to us, that you truly belong to our world and your mission is to spread the unconditional love of our great highness” the archangel tone and face relaxed and she gave Aziraphale a compasive smile.Whom looked absolutely fake to Crowley, he was doing his best to get rid of the archangel magic and to beg his friend to not believe her, but there was something wrong and he couldn’t dissolver her holy spell. He concentrated on figuring out what was wrong, what was that what felt like a million eyes over them.
On the contrary, Aziraphale believed every words she said. Angels didn’t lie, they could maybe sometimes skip the truth but he was sure Jophiel wouldn’t lie to him. He never stopped wanting to belong to his head office and to work spreading the good in the earth. It was his purpose, his job, and he loved it.
The angel lowered his head. “What would you want me to do?” he asked expecting a protesting sound from the demon but he said nothing, he was concentrated in something else. Or maybe he was happy he would have a chance to be a formal angel again?
Jophiel smiled wide. “I knew I could trust you, Aziraphale. But I’m sorry, even that thing…” she pointed to Crowley lifting her chin in a disregarding manner. “Is your boyfriend, or friend, or..whatever, I don’t even know the difference…”. The blonde angel raised his eyebrows and curled his lips. “Me neither” he mumbled. “I can’t trust him, so I’d like to talk to you in private. I won’t ask you to come to heaven with me. I know you also have lost the trust on us, so let’s meet tomorrow night at the Royal Victoria dock at midnight. Follow my light and you will find me”.
Aziraphale nodded. “It’s sounds like a good plan, thank you, Jophiel for the trust and for...everything but...could I maybe...get a little bit information about what will be required from me in advance, please?”. The angel asked shily, not wanting to annoy his new boss, but he neither want to go there and be asked to, for example, start a new armageddon or to kill Crowley. There was things he wasn’t up to do not even for his position in heaven.
Jophiel didn’t look bothered at all. “Of course. What will be asked from you are some miracles in a different places that are having special troubles with our enemies, that’s all. If you would check on twitter you could figure it out by yourself” she said chuckling and the angel breathed deep relieved, and then smiled. “Alright, I can’t wait to get back to work. I won’t be late to our appointment” the angel said cheerfully.
“I’m glad to hear your enthusiasm. I will see you there tomorrow, and please...remember not to bring your...whatever he is…” Jophiel said doing a disgusted face once again. “Ciao bb” she said trying to reproduce another stupid thing she readed on twitter.
Crowley was finally released and he fell on the floor breathless. The angel ran to him and helped him to stand up. “Oh, Crowley, I’m so sorry, are you okay?” he asked looking at him with worried eyes which almost eased a bit of the demon’s rage. “Demons! She is working with demons, Aziraphale!”.
The angel blinked twice and shook his head. “Dem...what?”. Crowley grabbed him by his shoulders and looked at him alarmed. “You can’t trust her, angel, you can’t go there tomorrow, it’s a trap, they don’t want you back! You can’t go there, do you hear me? You can’t!”.
Aziraphale looked at him frowning and stepped back setting himself free from the demon frantic grip. “Crowley, Jophiel would never work with demons, she hates them...you?...” he got confused for a moment, sometimes he really forgot his best friend was one of his enemies. “With her whole soul, a demon cut part of one of her wings, remember? She is the archangel of compassion, she came to really help me” the angel said with one of those innocent smiles Crowley hated and loved at the same time, depending on the situation. In this one, he hated it.
“No, no, no...Aziraphale, listen to me, did you feel those...eyes or whatever on us? Like there were a million of eyes looking at us, you felt them right?”. The angel nodded a bit confused. “They were demons...they were achams, a inferior kind of demon that work in groups. They are not strong but they are good and remaining invisible and they block others demons skills. She knew I was here and she brought them”. Crowley explained trying to convince his friend but he kept looking at him frowning like he was just talking nonsense and it infuriated the demon even more.
“Okay, let’s pretend you are right and she brought those demons to block you...don’t get offended, but it’s normal an angel wants to defend themself from a demon, and if the only way around is to use demons...you said they are inferior ones, so it doesn’t even mean she is conspiring with anybody from your head office. As I said...she hates your kind with her whole soul. She would never make any alliance with any of you, Crowley”.
The demon’s mouth felt opened and then he grunted loudly in frustration. “How can you be so blind?! Even the achams thing was irrelevant as you stupidly fucking suggest…”. Aziraphale looked at him arching his eyebrows in disapproval. “Language…”.
“Fuck language!” the angel made a little horrified sound. “Even so...your head office tried to kill you...not to discorporate you but to kill your whole existence in this universe, Aziraphale!. Why in hell would you want to work for them anymore?!”. Crowley was really exasperated.
“Crowley, I’m an angel. My whole existence is about to make miracles and to help others. What do you expect me to do? To just hang out with you and to read books for the rest of the eternity?”.
The demon nodded. “Yes? You like doing those things, we have been doing them all the time and you never got a single complain about them!”.
The angel let escape a frustrated sound. He didn’t like the lack of understandment from his friend. “Of course I like them, but I also had my job, and you had yours, Crowley. Don’t you think you will ever miss it? Wouldn’t you take the chance to be forgiven by your kind if they would come to you?”.
The demon shook his head. “Of course not, for fuck sake” the angel rolled his eyes because of the cursing. “Do I have to remind you that they both, our head offices, the angels and the demons who give us tasks to do, were the ones that wanted to get rid of the human being? Of the earth? Of our world? Maybe they can forgive you, but can you forgive them for that? huh?!”.
They both stayed quiet for a moment, just looking at each other. Crowley was breathing hard, his jaw was tensed with rage, while Aziraphale was looking at him frowning with a hint of sadness on his eyes because his best friend couldn’t understand his need to keep belonging to the angels world.
“Like it or not. I’m an angel, Crowley. I can forgive everything”.
The demon felt his stomach sink. After everything they went through to save The Earth, to keep their world safe from those who wanted to destroy it, who didn’t care about it, Aziraphale just said he would forgive them like nothing. Like everything they fought for wasn’t that important for him as it was for Crowley. It hurted.
They had had this discussion many times before. And Aziraphale always chose his head office, his kind over the demon. At the end he had came back to each other side, because at the end, they were all they have, each other.
He knew that time, it was going to hurt more than any other, because he had been living for a few weeks with the idea of the angel had finally understood, they only had each other, and none head office was more important than that. But he had obviously been living a lie.
So he would do the question, even he knew it would destroy him, destroy them once again. “What if they ask you to stay away from me? Because they will. You are not that naive, you know that being my friend was one of your signs, and they won’t just let it be”. The demon asked after another long silent. His voice deep and calmed now.
Aziraphale looked shocked at that question, he had thought about the possibility of them asking him to get rid of Crowley, something that was absolutely out of question. But he hadn’t think they would probably want him to stop seeing him. His breathing started to be a little bit elaborated with anxious, he didn’t want to be forced to choose, he couldn’t do it. The angel knew the correct thing would be to obey his head office but how was he going to live without his friend?
The blonde angel shrugged. “We can figure it out when it happens if it does?” the angel tried to smile but only one of the corners of his lips curled for a moment. He knew that answer wasn’t going to be enough for Crowley.
The demon looked at him tightening his lips and another silence happened between them.
“I’m done with this” Crowley suddenly said and walked quickly passing by the angel without looking at him. Aziraphale could take his arm to stop him. “Crowley, please, hold on, you are not even trying to understand how important this is to me...don’t go, let’s talk about...we…we can do the kiss thing afterwards…” the angel begged nervously and terribly anxious, his sight was even getting blurry. Oh, the kiss, the demon had forgotten about that with, his then justified worrying about what he had heard from his hacked demon communication system, but it didn’t matter anymore.
“I do understand” the demon turned a slightly to him so he could look at the angel into his eyes over his sunglasses. “The problem is that what’s important for you, it’s not what’s important for me. Fuck this, fuck us” he said with an angry tone, got rid of the angel’s grip and walked out of the book shop as fast as he could.
Chapter 3: Do the angels cry?
Losing each other is something they are not ready to let it happen.
I hope this chapter isn't too bad. I haven't been sleeping well, so my brain is a bit weird lately T_T. Thanks a lot for your kudos and comments, it means the world! <3
Aziraphale stood still there he didn’t know for how long. Not being able to process what just happened. They had parted away from each other before, they had fought and argued hard and said goodbye many times, but it never felt like a real goodbye. Not for him. He knew they would somehow get together again.
The way Crowley had talked to him was different from the rest of the times. It hadn’t been just a heated up arguing that would end up with some of them running to the other and apologizing. It felt like a real good bye from his demon friend and it made him feel empty, horribly empty.
The angel forgot about Mother Shipton books and spent the rest of the day thinking and then trying to contact Crowley. He wanted to tell him, he wouldn’t get away from him not matter what. That if his head office would ask him to do so, they would still see each other, he would just make sure they wouldn’t notice. Aziraphale was sure he could have both, his friends and his position between his kind. It had been like that since the beginning of the times, why would it has to be different then? They always had hidden their friendship from them and they had yet enjoyed it.
But Crowley wasn’t answering in any way. Aziraphale couldn’t even leave a message on his answering machine because the demon's phone was completely off, maybe he had disconnected it, he thought, which made his stomach sink. Then he thought about going to the demon’s house but he realised he didn’t know where he lived. It had always been Crowley who had went to the book shop and never offered any invitation to his place. The angel thought he may had have his reasons so he had never asked about it but then he regretted he never did.
The angel sat on his sofa feeling devastated, he had never felt that bad, not even when the Armageddon was imminent. That was a different feeling of lost somehow. One really powerful that made him feel anxious and nauseous and filled his eyes with tears that he let fell down his cheeks.
He knew that was a human reaction to sadness, caused by his humanized body. Angels didn’t cry.
It triggered a memory to his mind. The first time Crowley had seen him crying during a black and white romantic drama film he had convinced his friend to go to watch with him during the 40’s. The demon was shocked because demons didn’t cry either, and he had never cried not even with his humanizated body, so he didn’t know it could even happen. Aziraphale tried to clean his tears and to put himself together because he was sure the demon would laugh about him and would use it to make fun of the angel for the rest of the eternity.
Instead of doing so, Crowley pulled out a handkerchief from his pocket. offered it to Aziraphale after pating in shoulder supportively and never did a single comment about it.
He did about the movie tho, about how ridiculous it was, but it just made the angel chuckle even he didn’t agree. Crowley was funny when he was criticizing something.
“Oh, Crowley...” the angel whispered feeling his heart tightening, he already missed his friend so much that he couldn’t help crying harder leaning over his hands with his elbows resting on his knees.
Crowley had indeed disconnected every device Aziraphale could contact him on. He was angry, frustrated and very decided to not hear another single word from his angel friend anymore. It hurted Aziraphale always put him in a second place. He understood it before, he was an angel and it made him responsible and very tied up to rules and those boring stuff. But he couldn’t understand it then after everything his kind had tried to do to them and to the world they loved so much.
He couldn’t understand why it hurted that much either, or why a stupid angel meant that much to him, and it made him even angrier. An anger that he paid with his plants, as always, so he spent the day terrifying them and making “demon miracles” around his neighborhood. Causing angry crows attacks, broken pipes, and one or two power cuts.
But at the end of the day, he realised nothing worked for him to stop thinking about Aziraphale. They would be having dinner in some nice place by that hour, the angel would be talking to him about his researches on those stupid Mother whatever books and Crowley wouldn’t be listening, but he would be enjoying his smile and his enthusiasm which was more than enough for him.
The demon took his beautiful Bentley keys, his phone and put on his sunglasses and walked fast to the door thinking about apologizing to Aziraphale, he knew he would receive him with a smile, he wouldn’t even be angry at him.
So he crossed his door and before closing it behind him the memory of his angel friend face hesitating about the question about what would happen to them came to his mind, and he froze in place. He would apologize, he would have dinner and spend a great time together the next day too and then, at night, what? Aziraphale would meet his new boss and everything would be over again anyway.
Crowley felt his heart sink and something weird on his eyes he had never felt before, it was like they were heavier.
“Oh, Mr. Crowley” the man from the front door appeared. “Good evening, do you have power at your house? I’ve been whole day suffering cuts, I was about to go down and check the power box or maybe we should call the…?”.
The demon didn’t even look at the man, he just turned around getting into his house and slamming the door behind him.
The man raised his eyebrows, not only because Mr. Crowley’s weird reaction, he had always been weird since he knew him, but also because of the grunts, frustrated yellings and hits he heard coming from the ginger male’s apartment.
“Stars...some people can’t really live without power” the man mumbled and pressed the elevator button.
The next day, Aziraphale woke up feeling still empty and terribly sad. He stood on his bed for a while trying to figure out how to find Crowley and then he thought about Sergeant Shadwell, he had helped, or well, tried to helped him to find people, or books before, maybe he could help him this time as well. That idea gave him strength enough to get up, take a shower and to wait for it to become a more polite hour to call someone, and then he called the man.
Nobody answered. He called Madame Tracy then, they had became kind of friends after the angelic possession, but she wasn’t answering either.
The angel had to open the shop so he did so and then tried to call them again without any success and then he remembered they mentioned they would go on a road trip in a caravan or something like this. He felt his hopes going down and he sat down on his desk devastated once again. He didn’t even payed attention when a customer entered and said “good morning” to him.
Meanwhile, not to far from London, in a little village named Tadfield an occultist and his no-computer-engineer boyfriend were taking a lovely breakfast outside, in their terrace when suddenly the wind blew strongly enough to raise the table tablecloth and the black locks of Anathema, who tried to held the cup of tea so they wouldn’t fall down.
“Wow, that was so…” the girl started to say raising her eyes to his boyfriend and finding a piece of paper on his face.
Newton took the paper that brought the sudden breeze and slapped his face. He checked on it finding it familiar and then his face turned pale, and his eyes widened. Anathema looked at him frowning. “What’s wrong?” she asked taking the piece of paper from the man’s hands and checking it herself. With terror, she could immediately recognise it, it was one of the pages of the Agnes predictions they had burnt weeks ago and they had made sure every single of them were burnt, how could one of them have survived?
“That’s...impossible...it has to be a joke...we...we burnt then all” Newton said in shock looking at the piece of paper like it was threatening him with a knife. “A joke? From who? This is Agnes’s handwriting, Newton, I have readed it a billion times during my whole life, I could recognise a fake one even it was a very good copy...this is one of the pages we burnt. It...it has returned somehow...for some reason…”.
The man frowned still shocked but a little bit more calmed somehow. Agnes predictions was something Anathema knew well and trusted. And even all that world about occultism, witches and demons still was kind of alien to him, he knew nothing that Anathema trusted could be a bad thing.
Newton nodded. “We should read what it says then, if it came like that to us, it’s obviously something we need to do, or a warning. Let’s read it”. Anathema tightened his lips and looked at him with an apologizing expression. “I know we said I wouldn’t do this anymore but…”. Newton smiled to her. “I know...I understand, it came to us...to me” he chuckled. “It’s not like it was you depending on them, let’s read it together”.
He grabbed his chair and got closer to his girlfriend so they both could read what the paper said. Anathema smiled to him, grateful for having him by her side and then they readed it.
The white bird may had been trapped in a cage he doesn’t belong to and he can’t even sing.
The snake may had tried to saved him but it may had been got locked in the cage as well. Only a person with a regular father may have the power to save them both in time.
They looked at each other frowning. “What?” Newton asked giving it a second read. “Agnes predictions have never been totally clear but this one...sounds more encrypted than any other. I had not idea about its meaning” she confessed feeling absolutely confused.
“Bird, snake? Father? Maybe it is a bible reference?” the man suggested and Anathema leaned her head to one side considering it. “It could be...I should check”. Newton nodded and the occultist looked at him with an apologizing expression again. “I know I promised to go with you to the city to support you on that job interview, but...this sounds important, urgent and...I…”. Newton held Anathema’s hand over the table. “It’s okay, I understand. Nobody else can solve it but you. I’m sure you can do it” they smiled at each other and pressed their lips together.
The night was about to fall and Crowley was more and more anxious, more and more nervous every hour. It didn’t matter how hard he tried to entertain himself, he couldn’t stop thinking about Aziraphale and Jophiel. Not even the alcohol was helping. Crowley shouldn’t be worrying about Aziraphale meeting Jophiel, it had been his choice even the demon warned him it would probably be a trap, a lie, and the angel haven’t wanted to believe him, so then he should handle the possible consequences by his own.
They wouldn’t meet or talk to each other anymore, so what was the difference for him between losing the angel as a friend, or losing him because of his death? In a matter of facts, it was exactly the same so why should he even care?
But he did. The idea of Aziraphale suffering any punishment, or disappearing forever was a torture for the demon. So after kicking what was left standing from his living room furnitures, that suffered his rage during the last day, he decided he would stop Aziraphale from attending to that appointment. He would kidnap him if it was necessary, or to knock him out somehow, he didn’t care, he would just stop him from going to the Royal Victoria dock not matter what.
Crowley drove as fast as he could to Aziraphale bookshop, almost running over 5 or 6 persons, but he hadn’t the angel sat beside him protesting about it so he didn’t care. The demon parked in front of the door, he would deal with the fine later, and pressed the bell button probably longer than it was needed. He waited for what felt like hours and then he called again. Nobody was opening the door, so he opened it himself using one of his “demon miracles”. He entered looking around. “Aziraphale?” he looked over the shop and it seemed to be empty. “Hey, angel, listen, I owe you an apologize…” the demon went upstairs to the second floor where the angel’s bedroom was but it was empty as well. He couldn’t understand, it was just 22:45, there was still more than one hour left to the appointment time, where the hell Aziraphale could have gone? the demon asked himself.
It didn’t matter, he had a new plan, he would go to the appointment place and wait for his angel friend to appear, then he would take him somehow and run just in case the archangel brought with her those annoying inferior demons. He will clarify his plan on his mind while he drove there he thought making disappear the annoying thing the policeman always put on his wheel as a punishment for parking in a wrong place.
Aziraphale couldn’t keep himself inside his bookshop, he was nervous and feeling awful about the arguing with Crowley, so he decided to go for a walk before the appointment. He walked over the park they used to meet so they would go somewhere else, or just for talking, and the memories of a thousand of years of conversations and smiles came into his mind. What had he done? Why did he let his best friend, his only friend go? He had been so stupid.
Maybe, if Jophiel was really at his side and up to help him, he could explain what the demon meant to him, and she would maybe understand and help him somehow.
He sighed deep. That thought was too naive even for him. None angel would never accept their friendship, less to help him keep it, that was a fact.
Maybe he could talk to his highness, she was made of pure love, he was sure she may understand him, but first he would have to get to talk to her. Last time he tried it was Metatron who had attended the calling and haven’t allowed him to talk to the great highness.
Feeling absolutely numb, the angel started getting his way to the appointment location.
Aziraphale just knew the zone but didn’t know the exact place. Jophiel has told him to look for her light so the angel looked around not seeing more than an empty street poorly illuminated and empty industrial units. It was a bit scary and dark of a place for an angels appointment and the blonde angel started to get worried. What if Crowley had been right?
He was about to get out of that place when he saw a golden light turning on inside of what looked like a not so big brass cubicle to storage things. The angel walked to the door and knocked before pushing the thin material and entering.
“Good night, Aziraphale” Jophiel welcomed him with a big smile on her face. That time, the angel couldn’t feel anything else than the archangel energy, there wasn’t any other creature around so he calmed down. Everything was fine, he said to himself. “I’m glad you came, just in time” she kept smiling. “Hello, Jophiel, of course I came, I want to be redeemed” he said returning the smile.
“Oh, and you will. Just pay attention at what I’m going to ask you…” she said slowly. “Keep in your mind every detail because it is a very delicate mission the one I'm about to ask you…”. Aziraphale looked at her waiting anxiously to hear what he would have to do. The archangel giggled nervously “Are you paying attention? Have your ears opened for me?”. The angel nodded and started to think she was acting really weird, she looked a bit nervous, or maybe irritated, like she was waiting for something that didn’t come. She had her hand folded over his lap and she started playing with them nervously. “I assure you I’m absolutely ready to hear the mission, Jophiel” Aziraphale insisted and her smile turned forced. “Yes, you...you have to pay attention, it is very complicated, huh?”. The situation was ridiculous, something was definitely wrong, the angel thought and he understood what was going on at the next second.
Crowley’s car crushed into the thin brass structure breaking the door and getting in, he took his arm out of the window and the archangel was thrown over one of the walls. “Angel, get in!” the demon shouted to the shocked angel who couldn’t believe what was just happening. He tried to move his legs in the car direction but he couldn’t, and then a holy pentagram was discovered under his feet, he was pinned to the floor. “I...I can’t!” he said desperately and Crowley cursed getting out of his car ready to do whatever it would take to get his friend out of there.
Jophiel stood up stretching her suit. “Finally, demon” he walked to them. “I thought I would have to invent myself a stupid plan while you would appear...and I can’t create under pressure!” she protested. Crowley didn’t understand what the hell was going on, and he didn’t care, so he stretched his arm again trying to throw the archangel against the wall, but she resisted the attack with a move of her arm.
“What? wait...what...what in heaven is going on here? You were waiting for Crowley?”. Aziraphale asked with a consterned expression, he couldn’t understand anything.
Jophiel rolled her eyes. “Weren’t you? Wasn’t it obvious that he would come for you?...for heaven’s sake, you are really blind, Aziraphale, or you are really stupid…” she said with a disgusted face and blocked a new attack from Crowley who was determined to knock her out again. “Probably both...what a disgrace of an angel”. Aziraphale made an offended sound and frowned to her. “So you aren’t giving me a second chance!”.
This time both demon and archangel rolled their eyes and yelled at him at the same time. “Of course no!”. Crowley took the chance of the little distraction to attack Jophiel and she was surrounded and trapped by a black snake made of smoke that made her fall on the floor. The snake covered her mouth and curled itself over her body, trying to strangle her like a piton.
“She lied to me!” Aziraphale told to Crowley absolutely offended and the demon grunted leaning over the holy symbol on the floor and trying to erase it with his demon powers. A thick smoke started flowing from his hands like a little tornado that was absorbing the shiny pentagram. “I’m very glad to say, I told you, angel, I fucking told you”. He said tightening his teeth, making his greatest effort to set Aziraphale free. This time the blonde angel didn’t even protested about the language, he was too relieved to see his demon friend again and too shocked about the archangel betrayal that he didn’t even care.
“Oh, Crowley, I’m...I’m so sorry, I should have listened to you...I…”
“Save that for later, let me concentrate here” the demon cut him out, talking with effort. It wasn’t easy to erase a holy symbol made by an archangel but he was almost done when Jophiel set herself free from the smoke snake, which left black marks over her suit and her skin. She stood up looking at them with hate. “How did you dare to mark me with your disgusting magic, demon?!” she yelled and in her hand appeared a short spear, similar to an arrow. Everything happened too quick, the last of the symbol had been erased when Crowley saw the spear flying straight to Aziraphale so he pushed him getting his shoulder pierced by the weapon and falling to the floor because of the strength of the motion.
Aziraphale kneeled beside him horrified. “Crowley!”. The demon stood up into a sitting position quickly, ready to defend them from a new attack. “I’m okay, it’s just the shoulder, we have to get out of here!” he said but then he screamed in pain curling over himself on the floor. Jophiel tried to erase the snake marks from his suit and skin but couldn’t, so she approached them tightening his teeth.
“Do you know what that spear is?” she said to them, and Aziraphale looked at her with angry eyes, ready to attack her but she stretched his arm blocking him and pinning him on his place again. “This is the spear that killed Jesus Christ...well...I made it look smaller, I didn’t really wanted to descorporate you by one shot. Do you know why, Aziraphale?” her lips curled into a sinister smile. “Because my plan wasn’t to get you back in heaven but to kill you slowly and painfully. The tip of the spear is poisoned by the curse of thousand of witches and warlocks. It is meant to tear your body and soul apart, little by little”.
The archangel looked at crowley twisting in pain on the floor and smiled even wider. “My original plan was to kill you and to make your boyfriend watch. I had clear at the very moment I saw you together what would be the worst punishment for him. But well, The Greatest’s paths are ineffable, and it seems like she wanted it the other way around” Jophiel shrugged.
Frustrated and angry tears started falling down the angel’s cheeks. He curled his fingers into fists and looked at the archangel with eyes full of anger. “God is full of love, it’s not her plan to make us suffer like this but yours! You shouldn’t be an angel! You are...you are worst than a demon!” the blonde angel shouted to her but she just chuckled.
“I remind you it’s a demon you are so in love with” she said raising an eyebrow and smirking. “But well, not for so long. He will be alive around 24 or 72 hours as much, suffering terribly, of course. And oh! Don’t even bother on looking for a cure, you are not going out of this place until he is gone”. While she was talking, the car was getting out of the brass structured and the door was being re-builded like it was turning back in time. And the walls and the little windows shined showing a million of holy pentagrams over them. “I have locked you both here. And I had blocked your miracles, the more you can do is erasing the holy symbols but...he will be death before you are done with that” she chuckled satisfied with herself.
Aziraphale tightened his teeth, he had never experienced that feeling before, he didn’t know if it was hate, but if it wasn’t it has to be something very close to it. “You are a monster…”.
“And you are a traitor” she said making the spear disappear from Crowley’s shoulder. “I’m taking this with me, the poison is already inside him. I may need it to deal with more idiotic angels, like you, see you space cowboy”. She said with a big smiled, using another reference the angel didn’t understand, and disappeared.
The angel felt he wasn’t pinned to the floor anymore, so he reached the demon, grabbing him and making him rest his head on his lap. Crowley had stopped screaming in pain and he was only breathing hard with a expression of pain on his face. “Why...why didn’t you just use something to skip the spear?” the angel mumbled trying to clean up his tears but they wouldn’t stop coming out.
The demon swallowed hard, his whole body was in pain. “Don’t you think I tried? But I was weak after erasing the symbol and...it was a fucking archangel attack, for hell’s sake…” he grunted in pain. Even talking was painful.
“Shh...shhh...okay, don’t talk, I know...I just...I’m so sorry Crowley...this is all my fault...I…”. The demon just rescued him once again, even he chose the heaven, he sacrificed himself for him even when he haven’t even listened. “I’m not letting you die…” Aziraphale said tensing his face suddenly. Slowly he took the demon’s head and placed it on the floor before standing up. “If I could use my miracles I could heal you so...I’m getting us out of here. I’m erasing every symbol” he said stretching his arms to one of the walls.
The demon snorted. “You heard the bastard, you can’t do it in time. It’s okay, let it be. I have had a long life”.
The angel turned to Crowley frowning, with a decided expression. “Shut up. I’m not living here without you, Crowley, not anywhere”.
Chapter 4: Demons are selfish creatures
Crowley understood how much the angel meant for him the day he thought he lost him. Now Aziraphale is about to lost his demon friend, he finally realise how much he meant for him too.
I'm really sorry about this chapter. I'm stressed and exhausted lately, my life turned so weird (even more). So it was meant to be an amazing chapter. It was in my mind. But then my tired and stressed brain couldn't do it. So I'm sorry T___T. I hope you can still enjoy it and I promise to write a better next chapter (and not to take that long ;P). Thank you so much for your comments and kudos, they mean the world <3.
While a demon was being tore apart, and an angel’s heart was fighting not to get broken, some kilometres away, in Tadfield, a witch, or an occultist like she liked to call herself, and his still unemployed boyfriend were in front of a eleven years old kid window, trying to call his attention by throwing little stones to the crystal.
“This is pathetic, two grown up persons trying to make a kid get out of his room window” Newton whispered to his girlfriend feeling a bit frustrated about the plan.
“I know, but what else could we do? It is 24:20, we can’t just ring the doorbell and ask his parents to let him get out with us, you know?” Anathema threw another little stone and the man tilted his head finding her arguments quite right.
Adam young had went to bed at 22:00 and kept playing with his toys until 23:00, pretending to be asleep when his mother checked on him, just like any other 11 years old kid in the world. Although, he wasn’t like any other kid in the world. Even he wasn’t Satan’s son, The Antichrist, anymore, he had kept part of his powers and he could still change the reality, or at least some of it.
His friends weren’t worried about his powers at all, just the opposite. All of them were enjoying the advantages when Adam used them to refill their ice-cream cones, or when some of them were getting a flat tyred on their bicycle and they were easily fixed.
But this time, according to the prophecy, his powers were required to something else, to something bigger as it was to save a demon’s life and soul, and his best friend’s heart in consequence. And Adam was dreaming about it when the dry sound of a stone crashing against his window woke him up. In his dream he had saw the whole scene with Jophiel and how Anathema, the occultist and not the witch, and Newton solved the prophecy and run to his house. So when he finally woke up, he knew exactly where that sound came from.
When Anathema and Newton saw the window opening they couldn’t feel less relieved. “Oh, stars, thank you…” mumbled the man. “Hey, Adam, I’m so sorry about waking you up this late, but we really need your help. Look, we have received a prophecy and...do you remember that odd couple? The demon and the angel? Well, they are…”. The occultist said whispering as louder as she could so Adam’s parents wouldn’t hear them, but the kid would. But then she was cut by Adam. “I know, I have had a dream about what is going on…” the kid said, and Anathema and Newton shared a impressed look. “But we have a problem...for some reason, my powers doesn’t work out of Tadfield. I have been in a little trip with my parents to visit my aunt in Scotland, and I couldn’t communicate with Nessie, not matter how hard I tried, neither could I to refill my Soor Plooms bottles” Adam said raising his eyebrows in an apologizing manner and shaking his head slightly.
Newton looked at Anathema with wide eyes. “Has he said Nessie? Does she even exists?” he asked absolutely astonished but she raised an eyebrow for him. “Of course she does”. “Okay, Adam...that’s...definitely a problem...I guess then...we will have to brought them here?” the woman said trying to find a solution and the kid nodded.
“That’s what I was thinking, you should bring them here, but not here-here, I mean...to your cottage, my parents may be asleep soon, so I will be able to sneak out and to be there for when you come back”.
Anathema and Newton nodded. “Alright, it sounds like a plan, but we don’t know where exactly they are” the man said frowning. “But I do! Hold on!” Adam said and disappeared from the window. In his place Dog popped up and Anathema and Newton waved at him, but then asked him with their index finger on their lips to not bark, so Dog didn’t.
“What an extraordinary dog and kid” Newton said smiling and the woman smiled too. “Yes, literally yes. We will need to use your car, is that okay?”.
“Absolutely, honey, you know it’s our car, right?”. Anathema smiled and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. “Then I’m driving. You are way slower than me”. The man looked at her widening his eyes and he was about to protest when Adam appeared on the window again. “Take this” he threw a paper Anathema caught in her hands, it had an address written on it. “That’s the exact place they are locked in. But the archangel who did this to them only cared about them not being able to open the door from inside, you may be able to open it from outside and then they can get out, alright?”.
“Alright, thank you so much, Adam, you are my favourite kid in the whole world. We will meet at my cottage in a couple of hours!” Anathema said waving at him just in time, because they could here Adam’s father voice asking him loudly who he was talking to, so the kid went into his room again and closed the window. He would probably be in troubles, but he would get the way out for the time Anathema and the others would be back, he was the only one who could save the demon, he knew so.
Coming back to our angel and demon...Aziraphale was already panting and sweating from the effort of erasing the angelic symbols that locked them inside that industrial storage. He was feeling a bit dizzy and nauseous, he had never used that amount of magical effort in his life, but he was decided to erase them all so he could save his demon friend.
Crowley was sometimes grunting in pain, and passing out because of it. The angel didn’t even want to look at him, he hated hearing him suffering like this and not being able to do anything really useful quickly. He didn’t want to lose him, he couldn’t lose him.
After a while, the poison inside the demon’s body reached a new level and every part of his insides hurted making him grunt louder. He started to cough desperately like he was struggling to get enough air and then blood started to fill his mouth which didn’t help him to breath better.
Aziraphale hear the demon’s cough and gasps and quickly turned his head to him realising he was choking with his own blood. He ran to him and lifted him into a sitting position. “Oh no...Crowley...please...breath…” the angel begged feeling how his eyes started to fill with tears again. The demon coughed spilling the blood that was in his mouth and throat out, making a mess of his fancy clothes and he didn’t even protested about that, which made the angel see how bad hurted his friend was.
The angel grabbed Crowley softly and sat him close to the wall so his back would be resting there. “I think you will be better like this...maybe it’s a bit more uncomfortable, but at least we will be sure you don’t choke yourself with…” he couldn’t even finish the sentence, he felt like someone was strangling his heart and his throat, and he was working really hard to not break in tears again. It wouldn’t help the situation, he needed to focus and come back on his job. Aziraphale checked the demon’s forehead and it was burning, he had fever. The poison was destroying his humanized body first, so he had to really hurry, he wouldn’t be able to do anything if Crowley was discorporated, because he would go to hell and he wasn’t sure he would be able to get there. The angel would of course try in that case, he would never give up.
Aziraphale was about to stand up so he would continue with his job when he felt the demon grabbing the slave of his coat, then he noticed the demon was shaking.
“Angel…” Crowley said with a weak voice. “Stop trying to erase those things, it’s useless, I’m done, I can feel it…”. Aziraphale frowned and tears started falling through the angel’s face, those words felt like being stabbed in his stomach. “Don’t say that! I’m not accepting it, Crowley, you are not done...please...fight!” he took off his precious coat and covered his friend with it.
The demon, stubborn as nobody else, shook his head. “It’s over, so please, stay here with me, I want to spend my last hours with you, not seeing you trying to do something pointless” his shaking hand reached his sunglasses and he took them off, letting them fall to the floor. They felt heavy on his face, everything felt heavy.
Aziraphale felt his heart breaking, what if Crowley was right and there was nothing left to do and he was losing the last hours he would have with his friend, his best friend, the creature he cared the most for? But no, he couldn’t give up. Crowley would have never gave up on him, so he sat beside the demon, as close to him that their arms were touching, and he kept working on the symbols from there. “I’m not giving up, I’m sorry, I’m not letting you disappear, I can’t”.
The demon snorted and rested his head in the angel’s shoulder closing his eyes. He was so tired, he had never felt that tired in his life. Aziraphale’s heart jumped at the adorable gesture, and he rested his head on Crowley’s slightly, wanting to comfort him, to let him know he was with him somehow.
“You know? I was really terrified of losing you again, angel” the demon confessed with a faltering voice, he couldn’t breath well, something was definitely wrong with his humanized lungs, he could feel liquid on them, probably blood.
Aziraphale frowned “again?” he asked trying really hard to concentrate on being with his friend and on erasing Jophiel’s symbols at the same time.
“Yes, when you were discorporated, I thought I had lost you. I felt so hopeless and lost, that I have been fearing everyday it would happen for sure next time” he coughed and some blood drops went to Aziraphale’s coat. “Oh fuck, I’m sorry, angel…” he apologized about the coat.
The angel looked at it and couldn’t care less, Crowley was telling him how much he meant for him on his own way and his eyes felt so heavy once again. “That’s how I would feel if you would die, Crowley...I don’t want to lose you, you have to understand that, so don’t ever say again everything is lost, you know yourself how it feels to lose your best friend”.
The demon chuckled softly and smirked. “That’s why I prefer me to die than seing you die, I don’t want to go through that never again. I can manage death”. Aziraphale made a little offended sound and lifted his head to look at the demon who was smirking weakily. “Oh, how do you dare, you selfish creature!...that’s not fair at all, so you better concentrate yourself on surviving”. Crowley chuckled softly again and the angel felt like he couldn’t get angry at him, not when that chuckle could be the last he could maybe hear from his dear friend. What would he do without him? He had enjoyed doing his job on The Earth, he also has enjoyed many things in the humans world, but the most he had ever enjoyed was his friend company. Not matter how hard the fought sometimes, or how bad they canceled each other work, he always had the demon in his mind and they always came back together at some point. Not talking about how many times the demon had saved him from being discorporated, it seemed like Crowley had been always thinking about him as well, because he had always appeared in the right place at the right time. Always.
That they cared about each other was a fact. And they had cared for so long that they couldn’t live without each other. And Aziraphale felt absolutely bad to find that out then, when he had his friend leaning on him, dying in pain but still wanting to spend his last hours with him. How could have he been that blind? Why did he put his head office before Crowley once again? Crowley always risked everything to be with him, why hadn’t he done the same? He really felt the same, but there was something in his head forcing him to do the right thing, or at least what he was taught it was the right thing. He should have listened to his heart and probably then his friend wouldn’t be dying.
Crowley suddenly felt so heavy on his shoulder, and the angel lifted his head again and turned to check on him. He had fainted again and he looked paler than ever. The angel’s stomach sunk and he stopped what he was doing to hold Crowley in his arms and put his head on his lap to take a better look of him.
Aziraphale’s hands were shaking, his whole body was shaking when he leaned on the demon to check if he was breathing. He couldn’t feel anything and he panicked, it couldn’t be possible, Crowley’s body was stronger than a human one, and also the archangel said it would take around 72 hours, not even half of that amount had already passed so it couldn’t be.
Tears started running over the angel’s cheek again and he put his shaking hand on Crowley’s heart and there it was. There was still a beat inside, a weak one, but he was still alive. Aziraphale covered his face with one hand and cried feeling the panic fading away a little bit, and then continued erasing the symbols trying not to think about what just happened, he needed to focus, he couldn’t allow that scenario to get real, not matter what. He loved his friend, he wanted him to live, life without him would be pointless, empty.
Aziraphale felt a hold on his arm, the one he wasn’t using to erase the symbols but to try to stop his tears. Crowley was awaken again and was grabbing his arm softly and pulled it onto his chest, making the hand rest over his heart and resting his own on the angel’s. “I’m still here” he whispered not even opening his eyes, he didn’t have the energy to do so.
The angel caressed his chest with his fingers and tried to smile even the demon couldn’t see him. “Yes, stay here, please, stay with me”. Crowley gave him a very weak smile and tried to say something but he couldn’t, he passed out again.
The angel was concentrated on the symbols once he checked on Crowley’s heart beats again, when he heard a car approaching. It was weird, because nobody would drive around that place that late in the night. Maybe it was just someone who got lost, or teenegers who wanted some privacy, who knows. But then the angel heard how the car stopped in front of the brass building they were locked in, and his heart started beating faster. Maybe those persons could help them, maybe they could just kick the door from outside and to open it. “Crowley, there’s someone outside” the angel said to the demon who tried to open his eyes to look at him but failed. “Maybe they can help us, hold on…” he said moving away from the demon and placing his head on the floor very carefully.
The angel was about to start yelling asking for help when he heard a familiar voice yelling from the outside. “Aziraphale? Are you there?” Anathema said loudly close to the door. “How was the name of the demon?” The angel heard her asking to someone. “Crowley, I think” Newton answered, and Aziraphale didn’t know how or why they were there, but he didn’t care, they were saved. “Hello? We are here! We are locked and we really need your help, please!” the angel begged.
“Oh, stars, it’s him!” Anathema said and got closer to the door. “Hey, don’t worry, we are breaking the door, get as far from it as you can, please”.
Newton looked at her frowning “How do you exactly intend to break the door, I mean..it’s not a thick structure but still…”.
“Your car” the woman said walking and getting inside it. Newton opened his eyes wide but didn’t have time to protest because Anathema had already turned on the engine, so he just walked away from the way to the door.
Aziraphale grabbed Crowley and passed one of his arms around his shoulders. The demon grunted in pain but did his best to stand still, and they both walked as fast as they could to the opposite wall. “You see, Crowley? You are not going to die, we can stay together” the angel said happily and holding his friend tight. The demon could only gave him a weak smile but that was all he could do.
The car started moving and it speeded up at some point, crashing into the door just like Crowley’s beloved Bently did a few hours before, breaking the door and part of the wall.
Newton covered his mouth with his hands trying to suppress a scream that came out anyway. He ran to check if Anathema was okay and she was, she was trying to get rid of the bumper that had popped out with the crash, and then she got out of the car. “Are you okay?” the man asked worried and she nodded. “Of course, I’m an occultist” she gave him a playfully smile and approached the angel and the demon who were already walking to them.
“Oh dear, thank you so much, you saved us...I...I don’t know why you were here, but you can explain me later, after I have healed Crow...my friend, I need to get out of here for that…”. Aziraphale wasn’t afraid anymore to admit Crowley was his friend, the most important creature in his life. So he walked as fast as the demon allowed him to, to outside the building and then started to invoke his healing powers to heal him. They both were surrounded by a green beautiful light, but when it faded away, Crowley was still looking almost gone. “Crowley?” the angel called him but the demon only grunted softly. “I...I don’t understand...what’s going on?” the angel said anxious and surrounded themselves by the green light again.
Anathema and Newton looked at each other. “Aziraphale, according to the prophecy, I think, only Adam Young can really heal your boyfriend. I don’t know what happened here, or what’s wrong with him, but that’s what the prophecy said”. For Anathema, there was not doubt they were a couple for the very first time she saw them when the demon almost killed her with his car by accident.
The angel looked at them both absolutely confused and frustrated, the anxiety coming back to him, he needed to heal his friend already. “What? A prophecy? Adam? The Antichrist?”.
“Well, yes, but he is not longer the antichrist isn’t he? And he is up to help you. He may be in fact already waiting for us, so I’d suggest to get going before someone notice we just crashed into this industrial...building?” Newton said looking at the several dents his poor car has suffered.
“He is right, let’s go, get into the car, come on!” the occultist said grabbing Crowley by the other side and helping Aziraphale to get him into the back seats of the car. Then the angel sat beside him and passed and arm around his shoulders. The demon let his head rest on his shoulder once again. The angel covered him well with his coat, he could feel how he was shaking, and he could feel how cold his skin was when he hold one of his hands. “I can’t heal you, but you are getting healed soon, please, stay with me, Crowley” he whispered to him while the woman started the engine.
“My sunglasses” the demon mumbled and coughed very hard, Aziraphale took his cloth handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the blood from his lips not believing Crowley was really thinking about his sunglasses in a moment like that. “Oh, I’m sorry dear, you dropped them on the floor and I was too focusing on saving you that I forgot to get them” the angel said with a frustrated tone and the demon grunted half because of the pain, half because he didn’t have his sunglasses to hide his eyes from those humans. “You don’t need any sunglasses anyway, your eyes are perfectly beautiful as they are” Aziraphale said blushing slightly, it was the first time for him confessing he liked the demon’s eyes, but the truth was that he liked everything about him.
Crowley turned around the hand the angel was holding and laced his fingers with his finding his hand incredibly warm and soft. Aziraphale squeezed the demon’s hand and his heart beat faster. They had never had that much psysichal interaction like the one they were having that night. Over everything terrible that happened that day, the angel would always remember those touches, those gestures that made his heart flutters.
Chapter 5: God knows even angels fall (in love)
Anathema and Newton seems to be decided to make Aziraphale realise about his feelings. The angel can't really focus on anything else than the well being of his friend.
I'm really sorry guys. My life got even more complicated and now I had to take another job, so I have two jobs and it's been a bit crazy. I'm exhausted and I don't have much time to write, so I'm sorr about the delay and about the low quality of this chapter T___T...It's really awful but I really couldn't improve it. I hope you can still enjoy it and I'm already working to write a better next one. *Hugs*. Thanks for the amazing comments and kudos, you guys are the best <3<3<3.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
During the drive to Tadfield, Anathema and Newton told Aziraphale how the sheet of paper with the prophethy just flew to them even they had burnt them all. And the angel told them about what happened with their head offices and Jophiel.
It was definitely a kind of miracle that prophethy just reappeared after they burnt it. It may have came from a superior force. A force that wanted Crowley and Aziraphale alive and it didn't necessarily implied that force wanted them together but keeping them alive did. So maybe there was someone out there who didn't really care or even approved their friendship, Aziraphale thought. Maybe it was the almighty, maybe it was part of the ineffable plan none of their head office obviously understood. Well, nobody did. But if they weren't meant to be alive and together in the occultist and the no-engineer car, they wouldn't be, right? The angel asked to himself.
"I think it is just very romantic" Anathema started. "You went through all this mess to safe what's now your home and also to be together". Aziraphale smiled "Yes, I presume it is" he said not really understanding Anathema was talking about romantic love.
"Someone should write your story. A love story between a demon and angel...it's not like it's something new, there are probably many of them already written, but this one is real and...very cute" the woman continued and then Aziraphale raised his eyebrows and blinked twice.
"Oh, hold on, love story?"
"A story of two people who love each other" Newton explained.
Aziraphale heart started beating faster and he felt a bit nervous for some reason he couldn't understand. "Well, I know what a love story is" he chuckled nervously. "But...I...I don't know...I don't know It's that kind of love story". For some reason he said 'I don't know' which meant the doubt of them loving each other in that way just took a place in his mind.
Anathema and Newton looked at each other for a moment, they were sure it was, and it was shocking for them that the angel wasn't sure about it. They had been sure the entire time Crowley and Aziraphale were a couple. Then the man, who was in the cockpit seat, turned to look at the angel raising his eyebrows. "Have you ever kiss?".
The angel's cheek blushed and he looked at Newton with wide eyes. "No...I mean...".
"Not yet..." Crowley said with weak voice suddenly waking up. He was passing out and coming back to the reality all the time.
"What?!" Anathema and Newton asked at the same time surprised.
The demon grunted softly because of the pain before keep talking. "You still owe me if I really make it...".
"I already asked you to not say those things, Crowley, you are surviving to this...so please, just stop doubting it" Aziraphale protested and his voice almost broke at the end. Just thinking about Crowley disappearing forever made him want to cry again.
"Well, I guess love is different for your kind. But it doesn't mean It's not a love story. Someone just need to see how you look at each other to instantly know you are in love" Anathema said and Newton nodded before turning back to a straight position. "I totally agree".
Aziraphale opened his mouth in surprise and looked at Crowley trying to find some answer, because he felt extremely confused, but the demon had his eyes shutted and his eyebrows frowned in a suffering expression. He was awake but probably not even paying attention to the conversation anymore.
The angel was wrong. Despite the horrible pain Crowley was in, he was listening to every word and none of them sounded as strange to him s it did for the angel. He had already thought about it many times before, specially after he realised he wouldn't know what to do without his friend. But he hadn't taken the thought too serious because being in love was a human thing, demons weren't supposed to have those kind of feelings.
And it seemed that the angel just got into that conclusion as well. "Being in love is a human thing...we angels and demons don't fall in love" he said not sounding too much convinced himself. He knew he loved the demon, of course he did but he never thought about the romantic way possibility. He didn't even know how to be in love felt so how could he know if he was? He made a note in his mind to check about it or to ask Anathema and Newton in another time when he wouldn't have to be concentrated on miraculously making the blue car drive faster than it was even able to.
Anathema snorted. "Maybe you have spent too much time in the earth and you both are a bit..humanized? Or maybe your kind is able to fall in love and you just didn't know it.." she said shrugging. Crowley mumbled something and then grunted again, this time louder. He suddenly moved from Aziraphale shoulder and put his hands on both sides of his head grunting in pain and leaning over his lap.
"Oh dear...is it getting worse?" the angel asked alarmed and surrounded Crowley's shoulders with his arms and checked on him trying him to lean back again. The demon passed out and Aziraphale put him back on a sitting position. He could see blood coming out of his ears and nose. "Is he okay?" Anathema asked turning his head back for a moment.
"No!" the angel said with a desperate tone. "Hold tight on your seats...I'm going to use my everything to take us there already" he said and the two humans shouted when the car was surrounded by an even brighter light and they seemed to travel on light speed.
In less than 3 minutes the car was stopping at Anathema’s cottage door. Just as promised, Adam was waiting there for them and dog was making him company.
Aziraphale grabbed the demon carefully and took him out of the car while the two humans got out and hurried to help him. “Oh, hello, Adam, it’s been a while, I hope you have been doing well” the angel said to the kid, not forgetting to be polite, when he approached them.
“Yes, but it’s not time for chatting, he needs my help” Adam said with a serious expression on his face. He was a kid, but he knew when a situation needed to be taken serious. “I agree, I agree” Aziraphale said nodding and they all got into the house.
“Come, here, let’s take him to the guest room” the occultist said pointing with her head to a door in front of her bedroom. She and the angel were carrying Crowley so it was Newton who opened the door. The room was small and cozy just like the rest of the cottage. It has a wardrobe and a one person bed with a nightstand and some plants decorating the little balcony it had.
They placed Crowley on the bed and Aziraphale looked frowning at Adam. “How do you know what to do? What...what are you going to do to him? He was attacked by…” the angel mumbled playing with his hands nervously and he was shutted by the kid’s words. “I dreamed about it. You don’t have to worry, I will remove the witches and warlocks curses. I’m the only one who can do it”.
Adam climbed on the bed on his knees and rested his hands on Crowley’s chest. “But..what was in the dream? How do you know you are the only one? I…” Aziraphale needed answers, he needed to trust, to be sure his demon friend would be fine but Anathema knew well an angel in panic wasn’t what Adam needed to concentrate on healing Crowley, so she took Aziraphale by his arm and forced him to go out of the room. “Leave him do what he has to do, we can’t interfere, he can tell us once your boyfriend is not dying in pain. Come here, I will make you a cup of lime blossom.
The angel wanted to protest and to go back to that room, but he knew the woman was right so he followed her feeling how his heart was beating fast, anxiously, scared. What if something was going wrong? What if Adam couldn’t make it?
When they entered into the kitchen, Newton was already filling the cups with lime blossom. “Aw, honey, thank you so much, that’s exactly what I was thinking” she approached him and kissed his lips. The man smiled. “It’s nothing”. The three of them sat around the table.
Aziraphale watched the scene and imagined Crowley and himself on it. His cheeks instantly blushed. It was a pleasant image, that was for sure, but it didn’t feel like something that could happen. It felt absolutely alien to the angel. No, that kind of love couldn’t be for creatures like them.
“Thanks for the tea” was all the angel could say before taking the cup and taking a little sip. He knew nothing would help him calm down until he would see his friend out of danger.
Anathema and Newton looked at each other. They thought the best they could do would be to distract the angel from his worrying, and they started to talk at the same time like they were reading each other minds, and then they chuckled. “Sorry” she said. “No, I’m sorry” the man answered.
“You make a lovely couple..”Aziraphale said trying to smile and failing. He had faked smiles so many times for Gabriel and the others but it seemed like nothing, not even love, could force him to properly curl his lips into a smile.
The two humans smiled and then, Anathema bit his bottom lip before speaking. “Talking about that...tell us something...do you feel ticklish in your stomach when you see Crowley appear?”.
The angel frowned at the weird question and thought about it for a moment. “Well, yes, meeting him is always exciting, he is my friend. So that’s why I feel ticklish in my stomach” he answered before taking another sip of his tea. “Do you think about him often and feel like a kind of...hype when you do it?” Newton asked this time and the angel raised his eyebrows trying to remember about that too. “Unless we have had one of our little misunderstandings...yes”. Suddenly the angel felt like he was being interrogated which reminded him to his head office and how many times Crowley and him had been apart from each other because of them and how bad he had felt. “In those cases I have felt more like...lost...not in a hype”.
The couple shared an accomplished look. “And...the better you felt with him during the years since you met each other, the better you felt with yourself? With more energy? More motivation about everything?”, Newton continued.
Aziraphale took a deep breath, he didn’t understand why they were doing those questions to him, he didn’t care about them either, he just wanted to hear the guest room door opening. “Eh...yes...of course...getting a friend you can share life with is…good, right?”. Anathema smiled wide and shook his head. “My angel friend, you are in love with that demon, so he is with you. Of course a friend makes you feel good, but not like that”.
“A friend won’t give you ticklish on your stomach” the man added and the angel frowned absolutely confused. “I don’t think that’s possible, my dear fellows. But even if it was...does it matter? We have already been spending our free time together for years…”.
“Exactly, that’s the thing, you have been dating for years and haven’t even kissed...you are losing many good things from being in love, Aziraphale” the occultist explained and her boyfriend nodded.
“But...but….” it was all the angel could say. He felt completely confused about it. If the human couple was right, he couldn't help but to still think there was something wrong about it because his head office wouldn't like it at all. He tried to shake that thought of his mind, but it was hard to do something he ha been doing since he was created. If they wanted to punish them for being friends...what would they do to them for being lovers? Would they even understand what lovers were?
Suddenly, the guest room got opened, stopping the angel trail of thoughts. He stood up immediately and walked to the door where Adams was appearing. "Please...tell me he is okay" the angel begged and Adam smiled. "He is safe now, but his humanized body is very weak, you should let him sleep and rest as much as he need" the angel nodded.
"You can stay here until he is okay" Anathema offered and Aziraphale turned to her smiling softly. "Oh thank you so much" he could finally smile again and he felt like he could cry of relief. "He was mumbling your name...calling you because of the high fever, so you should go see him" The kid said. "I will come back tomorrow and I will explain everything, I need to take this back to its place" he said showing the palm of his hands, they were absolutely black and surrounded by a black smoke.
“Taking the curses back where?” Anathema asked opening her eyes in shock. “To their owners, I will explain tomorrow, I really need to be in my bed when my dad wakes up at 5:00 or I will be in serious troubles. And the next week we have the honey fair, I don’t want to miss that” the kid said and the occultist smiled. Adam was born as the antichrist and had saved the world, but he was still a kid who wanted to have fun. “Okay, so go and please be careful” she said and stroked his hair. Adam smiled and waved to them before walking quickly to the front door with Dog following him.
Aziraphale was worried about Adam, he was just a kid and he had just took in his hands what almost killed his friend, maybe the right thing would have been to go with him, but Crowley needed him too. Suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Adam will be alright, as long as he is in Tadfield, he is powerful, maybe even as powerful as you or even more, trust me, go to see your demon” she said smiling softly to the angel and pointed to the door with her head. Aziraphale looked at her worried and nodded, he would have to trust them.
The angel entered in the room and approached the bed. Crowley had his eyes closed and a peaceful expression, so he wasn’t suffering in pain anymore. That made Aziraphale feel like he could breathe again and he smiled sitting slowly on the bed, to not wake him up.
The demon looked adorable like that, he thought, and he felt the need to caress his cheek, or to kiss his forehead, both human actions so he didn’t do them. Instead, he hovered a hand over Crowley’s clothes that had got blood stains and cleaned them up miraculously. He also cleaned the blood from his lips and chin, and from his ears, so the demon looked like nothing had happened to him, just sleeping peacefully. When he was making the blood fade away from his lips, he couldn’t help but stare at them for a moment and Anathema’s words came to his mind. Maybe she was right and they were really missing other human nice things to do together. Crowley wanted to try the kiss anyway, so he guessed they would end up trying at least that, and it didn’t have to mean they were lovers. The demon just wanted to try it because he was curious, just like he had been about tones of other things humans did.
Crowley’s lips were beautiful, maybe then he wanted to try the kiss too, maybe he got curious about it. Maybe it wasn’t a bad idea after all and just the idea made his heart beat a bit faster with excitement and something else he couldn’t name.
Aziraphale realised his coat was on the other side of the bed, stained with the demon’s blood. He had used it to cover him when he was cold. So he made it float to him and cleaned it up too. Then he decided to protect the house so he stood up and started writing holy symbols all over the house, so nobody would find them, and nobody could get in. None from his head office, none from Crowley’s. They would have to try really hard to find them, and they would have to remove all the symbols, so Aziraphale would notice if someone would be removing them and they would have time to escape. How things changed, he thought having that feeling of guilt again. Now he was running away and hiding from his head office being officially in a relationship with a demon. A friendly one, or not, he didn’t understand anymore but it wasn’t the time to think about it. He didn’t need to move from where he was he could just create them with his mind, so he didn’t have to move from Crowley's side.
After an hour, the angel was absolutely exhausted but the house was finally protected from every threat. It was then when he heard the sound of the sheets of the bed so he turned to check on his friend. Crowley was shaking. The angel carefully removed his shoes and tried to move him slowly so he could get him under the covers but the demon woke up. “Angel…” he said almost in a whisper. “Oh, I’m sorry I woke you up, it wasn’t my intention, I just wanted to get you inside the blankets, you are shaking”. The demon nodded softly looking at him with tired eyes. “It’s okay, I’m really freezing” then he leaned up a bit and got into the blanket with Aziraphale help. “How do you feel, dear?” the angel asked sitting on the bed beside his friend.
“Exhausted like I have never felt in my life. But apart from that...I’m okay, I think. It’s seems like I made it at the end” he said smirking softly. “You won’t get rid of me that easily”. Aziraphale frowned. “Of course you did...I told you, and...great lord...who said I want to get rid of you? Stop talking in that negative way, Crowley, I beg you” he said with that offended tone Crowley loved which made him smirk a bit wider.
They stayed quiet for a moment and Crowley turned to the ceiling. “You look tired, you should take some rest”. The angel looked at him surprised about that comment. The demon almost lost his whole existence, and his body felt awfully exhausted and yet, he notice the angel was tired a cared about it. Aziraphale’s heart melted like everytime Crowley shown him how much he cared about him, he had always been thinking about him. It was like the demon was entirely committed to the angel. He remembered again how he offered him to run away together when Armageddon was going to happen, and even he was refused, he came back again. Maybe that was that romantic love Anathema and Newton talked about? He had no idea, but it was sure the demon loved him, and demons weren’t supposed to love so he was the luckiest angel to have him.
“I’m okay, don’t worry” Aziraphale smiled to his friend. “I just protected the whole house with holy symbols, so we are safe”. “So nice of you” Crowley said softly closing his eyes.
“We don’t need more troubles right now” the angel said playing nervously with his hands and lowering his head. He should apologize to the demon, but every word he thought didn’t feel enough, the demon almost died because of him and for him, so he couldn’t really find the right words. Did those words even exist? He asked himself and then he heard Crowley talking again. “Join me”. Aziraphale turned his head to the demon raising his eyebrows and the demon looked at him back. “In the bed, we can rest together” the demon moved to his side with effort to make room for Aziraphale. The angel blushed slightly and nodded. He removed his shoes and then got under the blankets laying beside Crowley. The bed wasn’t big so their shoulders were touching but even they weren’t used to touches every touch that came from one of them to the other felt incredible good. Their hearts were beating a little bit faster than usually.
Crowley felt reassured about their relationship. He didn’t like to see the angel crying, neither suffering any kind of distress, but that time, it shown him his friend cared about him which sometimes, just sometimes, he wasn't so sure about. He really tried to understand why the angel was so committed to his head office many times, why he chose them over him when he did, the demon always did just the opposite and it made him doubt at some times if Aziraphale really cared about him. He was sure he didn’t as much as he did himself, but he was content with just a little bit of care and his company.
Somehow, he always knew it, from the very beginning, that he felt more for the angel than he should, as a demon, it wasn’t even correct to feel something good about any living creature, and even worse about an angel, but he couldn’t help it not matter how hard he ad tried during the year. At some point he just gave up and decided to not think about it, although, from time to time, it came returning to his mind.
Aziraphale turned his head to the demon. “Crowley?” and their eyes met. Their faces were really close when the demon turned to look at him so Aziraphale blushed. They had shared many intimate moments, but none of them were like that one. “I’m really sorry, about...everything...I’m trying to find the words to properly apologize but...I don’t even find them...this time I really...mess it up. I’m sorry”.
The demon looked at his eyes for a moment and it was hard for the angel to keep the look on them but he did. “You know I will always forgive you, angel” Crowley answered and laid his eyes on Aziraphale’s lips for a moment. The thought of the kiss came to his mind and he felt ticklish on his stomach. The ticklish thing wasn’t new for him at all, it had been the result to some gestures of the angel for years, but he just couldn’t understand it and a part of him told him it was better for him to not because it was related to those feelings he shouldn’t even have.
Aziraphale gave him a sad smile. “Thank you” he said still feeling bad about what happened and about his poor apologize. They kept looking at each other for some more seconds and then Crowley grabbed the blankets and pulled them up, to cover his neck and his chin. “Are you still cold?” the angel asked looking at him worried. “Yes, a bit” Crowley answered softly and then an idea happened in Aziraphale’s mind. He wasn’t so sure about it since the hugging thing didn’t go especially well last time, but they seemed to have became more comfortable about closeness from then, so maybe he could try, he thought.
The demon was about to close his eyes when he felt his friend moving and he tensed up at what the angel did next. Aziraphale leaned on him, wrapping his torso with one of his arms and resting his head on his chest so he was like covering the slim demon’s body.
Crowley’s heart immediately started to beat faster. He could feel part of the angel’s body over him and the smell from his hair was sweet and pleasant, it was too much so suddenly.
“Is this okay? I thought maybe you would feel warmer this way…” the angel said shily, he was glad Crowley couldn’t see his face because he felt how it was burning.
“Y-ye, it...it works, thanks, angel” the demon said with a nervous tone. It was definitely working, he could feel the warmth of the angel’s body and it felt so nice. He wanted to wrap the angel with his free arm too but for some reason, he couldn’t move, it felt like if he would do it, he would cross a line, the perfect escene would fade away and Aziraphale would be back on his place instead to be hugging him.
Aziraphale could hear his friend’s heart beating fast, just as fast as his. Maybe Crowley was feeling the same about what they were doing. A bit nervous for some reason but also absolutely nice and comfy. The angel has never felt anything like that, that close to the demon, that connected to him somehow. It made him feel good and happy, and then he felt probably the “hype” Anathema and Newton were talking about when Crowley surrounded his waist with one of his arms. He felt that ticklish feeling inside his stomach and a warm feeling of happiness that drew a smile on his face. “Good night, angel” he heard his friend say softly and the thumb of his hand caressed him where his hand was placed.
“Good night, Crowley” the angel answered with a tone that made clear he had a smile on his face, and it made the demon smile as well.
They closed their eyes feeling the warmth of each other and hearing their hearts beats.
If I haven't answer to your comment yet, don't worry, I will soon <3 I love and apreciate every comment with my whole heart <3 I just didn't fnd the time, Im sorry Q_Q <3.
Chapter 6: Demons aren't good about feelings
Crowley and Aziraphale not always understand each other, but their arguments not always lead to bad consequences.
The angel and the demon didn’t wake up during the night, they slept deeply and fine. Angels and demons didn’t even had the need to sleep unless they had used too much of their power and they would get tired, or their humanized bodies had been seriously damaged and needed some time to recover.
Aziraphale liked to sleep from time to time tho, just to have dreams. The angel loved dreaming, and usually his dreams were about eating delicious meals or visiting wonderful places with his demon friend. That was exactly why he loved dreaming, but he hadn’t realised it yet.
Also, in the angel’s dreams, sometimes they both were angels and were being congratulated by the almighty or by Gabriel for something they did perfectly well, and sometimes they were just having nice conversations in heaven while watching the stars. Crowley explained him how he built some of the planets and constellations and how he transformed what others archangels did and was punished because of it. That one was the most lucid of Aziraphale’s dreams, he could feel, hear and smell in them and when he would wake up, he would feel like it was more like a memory than a dream. But he never gave it any importance, he knew humans had that kind of lucid vivid dreams too.
At some point in the night, they both turned over laying on his sides and facing each other from a close distance. Then, after a long while, they had ended up wrapping their arms around each other, missing the warmth of the other’s body.
Aziraphale wrapped his arms around the demon’s waist and hid his face in his chest, and Crowley, wrapped his arms over the angel’s arms and shoulders, his chin placed over the light blonde locks of his friends. Somehow, their legs ended up laced too so they were literally wrapped around each other but they didn’t even notice they moved during the process. Like if moving to that position was natural for them, something they always did. And maybe they did so in an ancient different time.
The angel was the first one who slowly started to come back to the conscious world. The first thing he noticed was Crowley's essence which made him feel safe and content. Then it was the warmth of his body, he felt so comfy. And finally he felt the details of the demon's body that were touching his.
He opened his eyes slowly and confirmed what he had thought, they had moved during the night and got even closer because all he could see was the demon's black shirt and part of his collar bones. It made his heart skip a beat and his face blush for some reason.
Some days ago, he would had probably get separated from his friend immediately because he would had found it wrong. But right then...he couldn't force himself to care. He had never felt better in his life like he felt in his friend's arms. So he closed his eyes again, no wanting to even move a little bit because he didn't want to wake Crowley up, and to throw that moment to an end.
But soon, he heard Crowley's heart beating faster and his muscles tensing up a bit. He didn't know why his body reacted like that but he knew the demon had woke up because he whispered a "Morning, angel" with a deep voice Aziraphale couldn't adore.
Maybe the demon tensed up because he was uncomfortable but that option was discarded when he didn't move even a single bit either.
"Good morning, Crowley" Aziraphale said softly. "How do you feel?"
The demon needed to find a proper answer to Aziraphale's question because he wouldn't definitely say the truth.
He wouldn't say that he had never felt happier in his life because he had been waiting for years for something like this, to be that close to the angel, to feel him. He wouldn't say he had been inventing excuses, pretending to be curious about human behaviors just to spend time with him or to get what he needed, to feel him close.
Truth be told. He didn't understand that need at the beginning and he just ignored it until it grew too much to be ignored anymore and he tried the hug thing that prove what he feared. He really craved the angel's physical closeness. That was why it had been awkward for him, because he got disturbed about what he felt and at the same time he didn't want to stop feeling it.
After that he decided to stop doing that until the kiss idea came to his mind. He thought that time it really wasn't about Aziraphale but then he learnt it was. And then, when he had the angel in his arms and his heart and soul were shaking and brighten by happiness, it was when he admitted, it couldn't be helped or denied anymore. He wanted and needed this closeness with Aziraphale, however it meant. He needed it.
"I feel okay". Aziraphale pulled away and the demon was about to feel bad, because for a moment in his mind the angel didn’t want that closeness anymore. But then he cupped the demon’s face in his hands and looked at his eyes.
“Humm…you look definitely better, but you are still paler than usual”. Crowley swallowed and his cheeks blushed, their faces were really close and the angel’s hands felt so warm on him.
Aziraphale slid a hand to his forehead. “Okay, at least it seems like you don’t have fever anymore. You probably just need to rest a bit more”. Then he removed his hands from Crowley’s face and lowered his head. His cheeks suddenly blushed too when he got aware about how close they were.
“I’m really okay, angel, you don’t have to worry” the red haired said and laid on his back, resting the back of his neck on one of his arms, feeling ashamed about how fast his heart was beating. He didn’t want Aziraphale to notice and to comment about it. He hadn’t even had a coffee yet, he wasn’t ready for that kind of conversation. He won't ever be.
"I do. I do worry, Crowley. You almost died...almost disappeared forever with not returning chance in any way...so of course I do…" Aziraphale said really concerned. He still couldn't believe he almost lose him for good.
"Would you have missed me?" the demon asked with a smirk on his face but not looking at him. Part of the question was just teasing, and part was just a real question. He had saw how worried sick Aziraphale was, how he cried and did everything he could to save him, but yet, he wanted to hear it.
The angel clapped his tongue and turned his face at him frowning. "Oh, dear lord, what do you think? How can you ask such a thing?".
Then Crowley turned his face to him, looking at his eyes. "Tell me" he said becoming serious and the angel looked at him confused for a moment, trying to understand why he wanted him to say so, wasn't it clear after all they just lived?. "Yes. I would have missed you, Crowley" the angel finally said decided to give him what he wanted even he couldn't understand why he did so.
They looked at each other for a moment. Aziraphale tried to read from his eyes why he needed a confirmation and Crowley, well, he just couldn't stop looking at the angel and his beautiful blue eyes. When his heart started to get annoying again, the demon stood up suddenly into a sitting position. "Well, let's go home, angel" Crowley said and stretched himself.
Aziraphale got into a sitting position too. "We can't go home yet. We need to wait for Adam and also...we need a plan…" the angel lowered his head feeling worried and scared. The demon looked at him frowning. "A plan?"
"Yes...Jophiel probably already knows you are alive so they are coming back for us at any time. Now we are protected and hidden here but just until they put a couple of thoughts together and guess where we can be".
Crowley got up from the bed and started walking in circles around the small room. The angel was right, he could feel the protection Aziraphale put on the house and out there they would just be attacked again by that psychotic archangel. Just thinking about it made his blood burns so he grunted frustrated. "Okay, brainstorm. I could pretend Im dead" the demon said while Aziraphale was getting out of the bed as well and dressing his jacket on.
"Crowley, please, you said BRAINstorm, it has come from a logical thought, not just to say whatever it comes to you" Aziraphale protested and the demon made a face to him the angel rolled his eyes at.
"I could...try to contact her...to contact god. She has to approve our friendship, she has to approve we saved the earth...so she may help us…"
This time the demon was the one rolling his eyes. "She won't care about us and our little problems, Aziraphale...anyway...she wasn't answering you, remember?".
Aziraphale tightened his lips and frowned worried. That was true, he had been trying to contact her almost everyday looking for guidance and not even Methatron had shown up. "I think we have to get rid of her...somehow". The angel looked at Crowley both offended and shocked. "What? We can't get rid of god, Crowley…".
The demon clapped his tongue. "Not god, angel. Jophiel!" Aziraphale breathed relieved for a moment before realising the demon suggested the murder of an archangel. "But an archangel can't be killed...we can't do it, not us...but maybe we could lock her somehow…disable her somehow? Like...froze her, or bury her?...". The angel felt his stomach dropping. Talking about killing or doing anything to an archangel was making him feel nauseous. He knew that archangel was the one who almost destroyed his life but still. She was an archangel, a commander of god. He felt weak so he leaned a bit on the desk, almost sitting on it.
Crowley looked at him. The angel looked paler and shocked about Crowley's ideas and it made him angry. "What? Do you think she will just forgive you if you ask nicely? That do you will have their favor back someday?..." he asked stopping his waldering to face him. His tone was indignated because he really was. After everything that happened, the angel seemed to be still be doubting and he couldn't really take any of that anymore.
Aziraphale said nothing, he just kept looking at the floor with that shocked and scared expression.
The demon clapped his fingers to get his attention. "Hello, Aziraphale? Fresh news! Your head office want us dead so does mine! Do you understand it now or do I have to almost get killed again?" Crowley's voice got louder catching the angel attention.
Aziraphale looked at him this time hurted. "You don't have to talk to me like that…" he said with a deep tone. Crowley's words hurted and also his tone. "I do understand...I do...but it doesn't mean it makes it easy for me, Crowley. Maybe it's you the one who doesn't understand how it feels to always be divided…" the angel started to get angry, as angry as an angel can get, so his tone became a bit louder. "I understand there's not such of division right now since I was...kicked...fired! But it still feels wrong to me!".
Crowley approached him in a threatening manner. "Haven't I suffered the same, angel? The difference it's I have moved on because I had to!" he said tightening his jaw. "Oh lord...I'm trying to move on too...it's just...it's just harder for me, Crowley, can't you understand that? We are not the same!". The demon looked at him angry, frustrated, sad, he could see many emotions on his serpent eyes. "What I can understand in all this is...that you don't care about me…not as much as I do care about you…" he realised he was raising his voice too much as he also realised he was confessing how he felt about their friendship, and it wasn't okay, that wasn't a right thing to complain about, nobody could control how they felt. And of course,he didn't want Aziraphale to know that, he didn't want him to know how much he meant for him even he probably already knew. But one thing was him guessing it and another very different was Crowley himself telling it out. The demon lowered his head feeling ashamed and defeated, he swallowed hard. Now Aziraphale would know and maybe he would want to get away from him, maybe to keep some distance so the demon wouldn't suffer for being the one who cares too much. "It's okay, I can fucking live with it, I have always lived with it" he said calming his tone down even his heart was hammering inside his chest and beyond to be able to calm down. "Can we now come back to the plan thing?...please?" he said in a poor attempt to mislead the topic, even he know the angel wouldn't let it just drop like that.
Aziraphale was looking at the demon with wide eyes and parted lips, he couldn’t believe what the demon just said. He couldn’t really understand how he felt about his head office so he was understanding it like a lack of caring for him, which was obviously completely wrong. If he wouldn’t care about him, he would have already knocked at heaven’s door and begged for forgiveness. And also, haven’t him already shown him how much he cared about him? Exactly just a few hours ago?
“How can you say that? That is hard for me to move on has nothing to do with me caring about you, Crowley!” The angel said frowning stepping closer to the demon. “I can keep explaining it to you, but you won’t ever understand it because you don’t want to and it’s not fair” the angel said raising his voice.
“Maybe it’s not like I don’t want to understand but that it doesn’t make any sense, Aziraphale. You always choose them over me! You always have!” Crowley said loudly with an angry and frustrated tone.
Aziraphale gasped offended. “And it hasn’t been precisely easy for me, Crowley! Just because I care about you! But I thought I was doing what is has to be done. We angels have to do the right things, we were made this way, we were trained this way!”.
Crowley laughed loud ironically. “And that’s why you tend to do frivolous miracles for yourself...just because it’s the right thing to do, right? Because you...you…” the demon was that angry at that point that he pushed softly Aziraphale shoulder with his hand. “...are a fucking angel and have to follow the rules…”.
The yelling was being heard by Anathema and Newton who were making breakfast and really worrying about the odd couple. At some point they decided to interrupt. Well, Anathema did, Newton thought it wasn’t a good idea to make a demon even more angry, but the witch didn’t fear him at all. So she knocked the door just before Aziraphale could answer to the demon. “Is everything alright there? I...we had made breakfast, maybe we should all sit and have a nice cup of tea while Adam is back” she said through the door.
“Everything is fine, dear, we will go in a moment, eh...thank you” Aziraphale said feeling ashamed the humans listened to their discussion. Saying not a single more word, the angel passed by Crowley and went out of the room. He was hurted so wa Crowley. Before leaving the room too, the demon made appear one of his sunglasses on his hand and put them on. He hated when humans stared at his eyes and they always did because they weren’t usual for them.
The breakfast was awkward and uncomfortable. Crowley didn’t even drink a sip of his tea, he just kept quiet ignoring every topic the humans brought out, trying to easy the atmosphere. Aziraphale ate but less than he would had to in a different situation, and faked as many smiles as he could. Everybody was relieved when the doorbell ringed and Adam entered.
“Hi guys” the kid said smiling, followed by Dog, as always. “I’m glad to see you are okay now” he said to Crowley and the demon just nodded. “So, are you okay? Is your hand..okay? What did you do with…the curses?” the witch asked.
“Yes, I’m okay, it is okay” he said raising his hand and showing them it was completely normal by then. “I saw everything in my dream. I saw you would receive the prophecy, that the archangel would attack you and how, and then how I could heal you and what to do with the curses. I also saw my neighbour would catch a cold, but I don’t care about him, he is an asshole”.
“And what did your dream said about what to do with the curses?” the angel asked.
“I just had to drive to the border of Tadfield with my bike and throw them to the Chislehurst Caves. It seems like there’s a hole, a well there, where they were locked. The voice in my dream said, a powerful witch collected them there to use it as a weapon when she would need it, and invoked a demon to guard them” the kid explained.
“Hold on, a voice? What kind of voice?” Anathema asked and the kid shrugged. “A woman’s one, I think, it was beautiful. I had heard it before in others dreams”.
“That’s weird…” Newton commented.
“So your dear friend, the psychotic archangel, made a pact with that demon to get that shit, so I was right and she is working with my kind” Crowley looking at Aziraphale with resentment and as soon as he finished talking he looked away. Like he didn’t want to look at him more than the necessary.
“Or...maybe she killed him and stole it”. The angel replied and Crowley snorted not even wanting to reply to that.
“How she got it isn’t relevant right now, I think” the witch said “The thing is she will chase you and try to kill you again unless we do something”.
Crowley looked at Anathema raising an eyebrow. “We? What do you have to do with all this? We…” he turned at Aziraphale and remembered there wasn’t a “we”, not for the moment at least, the angel didn’t look even convinced about doing something against Jophiel before. “I don’t need your help, and you all are mortals anyway, even you” he pointed to the kid “are a mortal now. What do you think you can do? And why would you anyway?...this is stupid” the demon said moody and stood up. Aziraphale immediately stood up too absolutely terrified of Crowley would leave the house alone. “Crowley? You...you can’t leave the house...we are hidden here, we…”.
“Ye, ye, and protected, blabla” the demon said rolling his eyes. “But I won’t defeat that psycho from a safe holy protected house, you know? Also, I need to take back my car, and I need to water my plans. I’m not staying here pretending we are a fighter commando with humans that can’t even fight” he said starting to walk to the door and an indignation “excuse me?” was heard from Anathema. The angel approached him with a begging expression on his face. “Crowley, please...don’t”.
“I’m on my own now, angel, you can come back to your beloved head office now if you want” he said coldly not even looking at him and tried to open the door, but the knob wasn’t moving the slightly.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Crowley, but I’m not letting you get out of here” Adam said. He had his arm stretched in the knob direction. “You are wrong if you think we have nothing to do with this. You both protected the earth once. And you are right, we are mortals, humans…” Anathema started “ and that’s precisely why we need you both alive and on our side, so you will help us if needed again”. Newton nodded and Crowley said nothing, he looked troubled. How they were going to help anyway? It didn’t matter if they were willing to it, they wouldn’t be able to face an archangel. And the demon was about to say that when Adam spoke again. “We could lock her in the caves” everybody turned their heads to the kid. “They are full of wells, and there’s a reason why the curses were locked in one of them. The wells are made by ancient black magic. Witches and warlocks used them to lock demons, or...other creatures, or their enemies…”.
Aziraphale opened his eyes wide remembering something. “Yes...yes! I have a book about that...Vikings shamans brought that kind of magic to this country but eh...I can’t remember well the details...I readed it like..decades ago…” he said frustrated trying to remember.
“So, make it miraculously appear here” Crowley said. He liked the idea about locking that psycho so he decided he would stay, at least for the moment.
“I can’t...we are protected from every magic but it also means...we can’t use our...miracles to bring anything in...I’m sorry” the angel lowered his head and Crowley felt like supporting him, but he forced himself to not, he wanted to keep himself angry at him even it was so hard when he looked down like that. “Well, we can go get it whenever you have it...she is not chasing us...we are safe outside” Newton said and Anathema nodded smiling at him. “We just need your bookshop’s keys and the exact location of the book and we will bring it here” she said.
“I will have to go home or I will be in troubles, but I can come back after lunch” said Adam.
The demon and the angel looked at each other, the first wasn’t so sure about trusting two humans for such of a important task, and the second wasn’t sure about putting them on that risk but they really had not option, neither a better plan so they ended up nodding. “Alright, I’m writing you down the exact shelf where it is and...here...take the keys” he said giving the witch the keys of his beloved bookshop.
Once the plan was settled, the three humans were about to leave the house but before they did, Anathema approached Aziraphale and whispered in his hear. “Kiss him. It’s the best way to make someone to shut up during an argument” she winked and left the angel there, blushing and feeling absolutely embarrassed.
So the odd couple were left alone again and they both felt uneasy. Aziraphale just sat on the couch playing with his hands, not knowing what to do or what to say. And Crowley started wandering around looking for some bottle of wine or something with alcohol that would help him deal with that awkward situation. He was decided to not go after the angel that time, he was already too tired of it.
After not finding any alcohol source he could drink, he decided the best would be to be apart from the angel for the moment, so he walked to the room that had been lend to them, and laid on the bed looking at the ceiling. He hadn’t regretted many things in his life, he couldn’t even remember a single one then, not even the invention of the snapchat animals filters, but he regretted what he said to the angel, the confession of his feelings, of a part of them. He was a demon, a fired one, but still a demon, he shouldn’t even be caring about an angel or about his own feelings toward him. It was stupid, he was stupid, Aziraphale was stupid, the whole fucking world was stupid, he thought.
Meanwhile in the living room, the angel wasn’t feeling so much better. He felt bad about the argument, he was an angel, a being full of love, why didn’t he just tell the demon he did cared and he loved him instead trying him to understand something, he would never get because he was a demon, and was born in a completely different context?.
The angel sighed and stood up, he was going to talk with Crowley, he couldn’t stand the guilt he felt in his stomach, or the weight on his chest.
Aziraphale knocked the door before entering into the room shily. The demon looked at him and clicked his tongue annoyed. “I...I don’t come looking for more fighting, Crowley...I...I want to solve things…”. Slowly, the angel sat on the bed beside the demon, and he rolled his eyes before leaning up into a sitting position.
“There’s nothing to solve Aziraphale” the demon said not looking at him and he really thought so. The angel hadn’t complain about locking the psycho archangel, so there was nothing to discuss anymore. He couldn’t force him to choose him over his kind, he always lived with it, he didn’t understand why it felt like he couldn’t take it anymore then, but he would deal with it.
“There is, Crowley. You think I don’t care about you enough and it’s not true, and it may be hurting you for nothing...and…”. The demon tightened his jaw getting angry and grunted “I’m not hurted by it, I’m a demon” he lied, of course he was hurted by it and he knew it. “Just forget I mentioned it, I wasn’t even thinking straight. Forget it…”.
Aziraphale looked at him frowning. “I don’t want to forget it, I want you to understand it’s not true, Crowley…”.
And then the demon’s blood felt like starting to boil again. “Isn’t it?...what about if we base it on the facts, angel, facts!...just in less than how much? 1, 2 months? You had decided to go running to them over being with me, with no doubt…” he had not idea how much doubting and inside-fighting Aziraphale had suffered before taking those decisions, those wrong ones, but the angel wasn’t going to try to explain it again. “They treated you like shit and still you went back to them! It’s stupid! Have I ever treat you bad? Never! Just...just the opposite” the demon continued saying loudly and angry, but the angel wasn’t listening anymore, he only could hear the voice in his head saying ‘Kiss him. It’s the best way to make someone to shut up during an argument’. It wasn’t like he didn’t care about Crowley was saying, but he knew well he would never listen to him while being angry so there’s was not point on arguing again about the same. So the only option he had in mind was Anathema’s advice. Crowley wanted to tried anyway, right? So maybe it was a good idea, maybe it would ease his anger and they could properly talk after it. Or maybe it would make him even angrier. In any case, he decided he would try.
So Aziraphale took a deep breath trying to calm his hammering heart down, but it didn’t work. And then cupped the demon’s face in his hands and pressed his lips against his quickly, before the demon could even react at the sudden touch.
The demon’s heart missed a bit when he felt the angel’s soft and warm lips on his, he couldn’t believe what was happening, but it was definitely happening, Aziraphale was kissing him and he couldn’t understand why he did it so suddenly but didn’t even care, he just wanted it to not end. So he slid one of his hands to the back of the angel’s neck, asking him to not part the kiss, and the demon opened his lips slightly. The angel followed him which almost gave the demon a heart attack.
Crowley haven’t ever kiss, but he has saw enough kisses to know how they worked so he decided to take the lead on it since he was sure Aziraphale would be clueless. Also he could feel how he was shaking softly. He wa nervous, probably scared too, shy? Yes, all that sounded much like the angel, but he didn’t seem willing to part the kiss so even he felt insecure about it, he may be enjoying it too. And he was.
The demon opened his lips a bit more capturing softly the angel’s and Aziraphale followed once again doing the same, until Crowley made a new move and opened his mouth and his tongue licked softly the angel’s soft lips as he brushes his hand through the white locks.
It gave the angel a sensation he had never feel. A kind of electrical pleasure ran through his spin making his skin curl and he couldn’t help but gasping in the demon’s mouth, opening it for him, and inviting the demon to deepen the kiss.
Crowley understood perfectly the invitation and deepened the kiss. Their tongues touched every time they captured each other’s lips, and they found each other’s taste intoxicating, addictive so they couldn’t stop kissing each other.
But the angle wasn’t the best and the demon felt like he needed more from the angel, more kisses, more everything. He couldn’t even feel a hint of the anger he felt a moment before, he could only feel the need of getting his angel closer to him, to kiss him.
For Aziraphale, the experience wasn’t being much different, for some reason, his whole body screamed for the closeness with the demon, to be kissed and held by him, and his heart was still beating hard and fast. He couldn’t understand such of a powerful reaction, but his mind was too cloudy with the situation to think about it.
Crowley grabbed the angel softly and made him lay on his back on the mattress, not parting their kiss and he lied half on top on him sliding a hand to his cheek. The angel rested his hands on his friend’s back, following that need to get him as closer as possible to himself.
Soon they needed to part the kiss for a moment so they could get some air, and it was then when Crowley saw the most beautiful scene he has ever seen. The angel’s cheeks were blushed, and his lips red and a bit swallowed because of the kiss, and his eyes, his perfect blue eyes were looking at him in a way that made his heart miss a beat.
It was then when he understood he couldn’t deny it or hide it anymore. Not after that view, or that moment, or that kiss that none of them wanted to end. Crowley was inevitably, deeply and irredeemably in love with that angel.
Thank you so much for your love, kudos and comments <3 they make me very happy and encourage me to keep writting whenever I find a little espace of time :) <3. I don't think next chapter will take this long. I hope you enjoy this one. Thank you so much! *Hugs* <3.
Chapter 7: Angels are fast learners
Aziraphale and Crowley learn a couple of things. How to stop one of their arguments and how to negotiate with a desperate archangel.
Aziraphale couldn’t see well Crowley’s eyes through his sunglasses and he wanted to see them, needed to see them for some reason, so he gently slid his hands to the glasses and removed them, placing them beside him on the bed. Then he could see those eyes he loved and they were looking straight at his. The demon caressed his cheek with his thumb while they kept that look on each other and Aziraphale smiled shily. He couldn’t understand what he was feeling. It was love, he knew it was love, he knew love well, but it was the strongest feeling of love he had ever felt before. And he knew it wasn’t the first time Crowley made him feel that way, but it was the first time he was allowing himself to let it freely flow all over his heart, his body, and it felt wonderful.
“Can I keep kissing you, angel?” the demon asked softly almost against the angel's lips. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that” Aziraphale answered already leaning slightly his head up to reach the demon’s lips and they kissed again.
At the start it was a slow sweet kiss. They tasting each other’s lips carefully, softly, like caressing each other. But little by little, the kiss turned into a passionate one where their tongues were touching and his lips were dancing with each other’s. Crowley leaned a bit more on the angel, not letting his whole weight fall on him, even it wouldn’t be much since he was really skinny. And Aziraphale returned his hands to the demon’s back, curling his fingers around the fabric of his jacket. They both started to feel their bodies heating up in a way they had never felt, and a sensation similar to ticklish on their lower bellies.
Crowley just ignored his mind asking what it would be and focused on enjoying the delicious kiss he couldn’t stop.
Aziraphale tried to focus on feeling what was going on with his body so he could maybe recognise what it was, but he couldn’t even focus well, his mind felt absolutely clouded by the demon’s kiss. He felt under a spell he couldn’t set himself free from, and he didn’t want to anyway.
He didn’t know why, but Crowley started unbuttoning the angel’s shirt, freeing his neck and then he brushed his kisses from the angel’s lips to his neck, placing some soft bits and teasing the soft skin with the tip of his tongue from time to time. He had not idea why he felt like doing that but feeling the angel skin against his lips felt amazing, it was softer than it looked like, and warmer.
Aziraphale moaned softly leaning back his head. He could feel waves of pleasure running through his body with every little bite, or lick from the demon. He could feel his body reacting in a way he didn’t know and it confused him and maybe scared him a little but he couldn’t ask Crowley to stop, because he didn’t want him to.
The angel’s soft moans encouraged the demon and opened the shirt a bit more, brushing his kisses to his chest.
Then a knock sounded. It was like a knoch on a crystal, probably from the kitchen balcony but they both ignored it and Crowley kept making his angel moan and enjoying the pleasure. But the knock happened again, and again, more hurried every time. “Ah….Crowley…” Aziraphale mumbled. “It may be nothing, maybe just an annoying neighbour” the demon said softly freeing one of the angel’s nipples and teasing it with his thumb while his lips came back to Aziraphale’s mouth, kissing him eagerly, like he had been missing his lips. The angel moaned louder when Crowley teased him there, he felt an overwhelming pleasure that didn’t allow him to think straight so he decided to ignore the knock as well.
But the knock happened again, that time harder and on the bedroom window. They both jumped alarmed and saw a figure behind the curtains.
“Okay, now that stupid neighbour is going to pay for this…” Crowley said quickly standing up from the bed and walking to the window. He rested his back on the wall and pulled the curtains by the corner of them, so they would barely move and he would be able to see the annoying person without being seen.
Aziraphale leaned into a sitting position looking in tension to the demon and then he knew there wasn’t any annoying neighbour when Crowley’s face turned pale and his eyes opened wide looking at him. “Get up, angel” he said tensed and approached Aziraphale who obeyed and stood up. The demon placed himself in front of Aziraphale in a protecting position. “Crowley?...what’s wrong...don’t tell me…” the angel started terrified it was Jophiel but soon he discovered it wasn’t her. It was maybe worse.
“Hello? come on guys, I know you are there, I have heard you doing weird sounds” Gabriel said from behind the window. Aziraphale’s face turned red, he had been the one doing those weird sounds Gabriel talked about.
“I came alone and for peace purposes, you don’t have to let me in if you don’t want to, just show yourself and talk to me, please, I don’t have the whole day” the archangel said checking on his watch, a human watch he couldn’t even understand. “Stupid digital...stuff…” he said giving up on getting what time it was.
“What do we do?” Aziraphale whispered buttoning his shirt but not fitting the right buttons with the right holes. “I don’t trust him...but if you think we are really protected inside here...we could listen to what the fuck he wants”.
“Language, Crowley” the angel protested and the demon snorted, he had missed him protesting about that. “Sorry, what he wants from us. We should at least know how he knows we are here...since he does, maybe the psycho knows too...we need to know how much fucked…” he could hear Aziraphale protesting cute sound so he corrected himself. “In how much trouble we are”.
The angel nodded. “I assure you even the windows are protected, not even him could get in without hours of effort removing my holy symbols. And I would know if he would have already done that, he hasn’t. So I think we can talk to him” he said and Crowley nodded and the blushed slightly looking at the angel. “Hold on...hours?...you...you did a huge work here just to...protect me…” he said like he couldn’t believe it and Aziraphale lowered his head blushing. “Yes, I...I did…”. The demon smiled, and he felt that warm feeling only the angel was able to create inside his chest. Then he turned back to the window. “Alright, I’m going to pull the curtains then”.
They approached the window and Crowley opened the curtains revealing them both. Gabriel made a shocked face, almost disgusted, when he saw how messy the angel and the demon looked. “What have you both been doing? You look awful” the archangel chuckled amused.
Aziraphale looked at himself and stepped back horrified about how bad he had buttoned his shirt so he just closed his coat since fixing his look would imply to unbuttoning his shirt again and to expose his chest. Same with his waistcoat. His cheeks turned red and a feeling of guilt filled his stomach. What they just did may was a sign for sure but his brain told him he shouldn’t really care about it anymore and Gabriel wouldn’t probably had guessed why they looked that messy. What they did was a very human act, angels wasn’t familiar with it and Gabriel wasn’t familiar with humans behaviors anyway.
Crowley didn’t seem to care about the archangel’s comment. He hasn’t his sunglasses on and his hair was a mess, but his cheeks didn’t even blush, he really didn’t give a shit about what Gabriel would think about them. “Whatever, what exactly are you doing here? And how did you know we are here?” the demon asked straight, not wanting to lose his time with that archangel.
Gabriel smiled and opened his arms shrugging. “Guys, please, it wasn’t hard. I just had to check on the people I know you know from the massive treachery you both did on your respectives head offices. I know Jophiel would try to kill one of you so...I guessed one of you would be injured and would need help from your allies. Easy” Gabriel chuckled proud of himself.
Aziraphale and Crowley looked at each other worried. Of course they had hid in a very easy spot to track for both of their bosses but, they didn’t really had had many other options. Well, the angel didn’t, the demon wasn’t even conscious enough to make any decision. At least they were safe inside the witch’s house, at least for the moment.
“Alright, good for you, Sherlock” Gabriel raised his eyebrows and curled the corner of his lips making a confused face. He didn’t understand that reference. “Now tell us what the fuck you are doing here” Crowley demanded sharply.
Aziraphale didn’t complained about the language this time, he was too scared to even notice the demon cursed. He didn’t really want more troubles with his head office, or with whoever, he had enough already. The angel wasn’t made to fight, he in fact hated it.
“I want a truce, with…” Gabriel pointed at them “the both of you”.
“A truce?” Aziraphale and Crowley asked not understanding, not believing what they just heard. “Yes. It turned out we have the same annoying enemy...how do humans say? Biting our butts?”. The pair raised their eyebrows, they had never heard a human using that expression.
“Jophiel?. Why would Jophile be your enemy? She is an archangel, just like you” the angel finally spoke with a worried tone. He knew he had to stop caring about his head office but it worried him that two archangel would be against each other.
The angel rolled his purple eyes. “She is, but she stole my place” Gabriel’s smile disappeared and a frustrated and angry expression took place on his face. “She is now commanding our whole division and she put me to order the sacred statements...like I was a simple seraphine! I overheard Michael and Uriel joking about my obvious lack of experience in such of a degrading task. They won’t respect me anymore if we don’t stop this absurd situation”. The archangel almost yelled the last sentence, he looked really frustrated about the situation. He was an archangel, but he had been in charge since the starting times, so even him could feel frustration and anger in a situation like that. Not like he was the best example of an archangel anyway.
Aziraphale was about to say something kind, because it was in his nature to try to comfort every suffering creature, even that creature tried to kill him. But Crowley raised one of his eyebrows and talked first. “Okay, I don’t mind about your situation or whatever, I guess what you want is us to get rid of the psycho...I mean...Jophiel, right? So we all we will be left in peace”. Gabriel nodded. “That’s it. I want my place back”.
“Ye, ye, whatever. But I want something else” the demon said frowning, looking at the archangel with a threatening expression, letting him know he was completely serious about what he was going to say, and there’s was not possible rejection. “I want you to sign a contract...a holy contract, or...whatever you use, where you say you will leave us both alone, forever. And you will tell us in advice if you hear someone is about to go against us”.
Gabriel looked at him surprised about the petition. He didn’t expect their relationship, whatever it was, was that important for them, as it was to stay in the earth and protect it. Then he looked at Aziraphale looking for some kind of doubt from his side, why would an angel want to be left alone with a demon in a planet full of idiots creatures like humans were? But the angel gave him a deep decided look and nodded. It was then when the archangel understood and he lowered his head smirking. “It seems like some stories aren’t meant to change not matter what” he mumbled. And the pair looked at each other again not understanding. “What is that supposed to mean?” Crowley asked losing his patient already and Gabriel shook his head. “I will write and sign that holy contract after you had readed it. I don’t care about any of you, I will have more important things to deal with anyway. Just...get rid of Jophiel…”.
Aziraphale raised his eyebrows in surprise. “Hold on, hold on...you won’t help us? I thought you were talking about we working together to...defeat her?” for some reason he couldn’t use the expression “get rid of”. It sounded too aggressive for him. The archangel chuckled. “Oh, Aziraphale, still that naîve, right? If anybody up there…” he pointed to the sky with his eyes. “Knows I cooperated with two traitors to get rid of an archangel...what do you think that will happen?”.
“Oh...oh!” The angel said realising Gabriel would never get his position back but probably would get killed or forced to fall in that case. "We will do it after we see that holy contract" the demon said decided. "Fair enough. I will contact Aziraphale as soon as I have it".
Crowley nodded. "Does she knows we are here?".
"She doesn't, we didn't write in our history records or reports the real story as you may comprehend. Many mistakes by every part were made so Beelzebub and I made an arrangement. That means none of your humans allies are named on them so Jophiel has no idea about them. In fact, I took well care of she thinking her plan worked for now. I'm not sure how long she will take to reach the truth but...you may still have some time. Your welcome" he said smiling again proud of himself.
"And you are working with the demons for that, right?..." Crowley asked tightening his teeth. He thought he didn't care about his kind at all but it turned out he still cared about the lack of decency on them. "You are all the same…".
Gabriel snorted. "Said the one fraternizing with an angel".
Crowley punched the crystal not hard enough to break it. "It wasn't me claiming the other part enemies or wanting a war against them…" he grunted and Aziraphale, alarmed by the punch, took his arm softly asking him to calm down without words. And he did.
"Details" the archangel said. "Well, as I just said,I will contact you" he said looking at Aziraphale. "Better you have a plan when I come back". The archangel after a tube of light that came from the sky.
The demon hit the crystal again. This time was more like an slap than a punch, he really hated that angel, he was nothing like Aziraphale. He shouldn’t even be an archangel, not by what being an archangel meant for Crowley. He kept looking at the spot where Gabriel was, tightening his teeth until the angel's voice took him out of his spiral of hatred thoughts. “You...you really asked for that contract…” he said shily lowering his head. When Crowley turned at him, he could see his cheeks blushing and he was playing with one of his shirt buttons. Hell, how could he be that cute, he thought. “I mean...you did that for us” Aziraphale lifted his eyes to look at him for a second and then lowered them again.
“I did. You won’t have more excuses to try to run away from me, angel” the demon said smirking, adopting a cocky pose leaning his weight over one side. Aziraphale snorted softly and smiled. “It wasn’t like I ran away before...I mean...it wasn’t like that. My head office…”. Crowley rolled his eyes and stepped closer to him. “Can I kiss you before we go back to argue about that again?” the demon asked with a soft tone.
Aziraphale lifted his eyes finding Crowley’s on him and how close he was. His cheeks blushed deeper and he bit his lower lip. His heart starting to beat fast and hard again and then he nodded shily.
The demon leaned down to capture his lips in a soft sweet kiss. It seemed like they had found a very nice way to stop arguing, they both wished they would have found it earlier.
Crowley cupped the angel face in his hands and Aziraphale placed his hands on his chest. “Now I understand why humans like this” the demon said a few millimeters from the angel’s lips. “Me too” he smiled. “But I’m not sure I would enjoy it with anyone else, I’m not sure I could do it” Aziraphale didn’t know what it meant or if it even meant something but he was sure he wouldn’t be able to kiss anyone else than Crowley. Somehow he was deep down sure of it.
The demon’s heart flushed and he couldn’t help but to smile. “I’m glad, because I don’t want to kiss anyone else either”. Their lips met again, this time melting into a passionate kiss that had them wrapping his arms around each other in a few seconds. They pulled each other as closer as possible and they only stopped when they needed a break to breath. Then the angel took the chance to ask about what he was feeling. His body had started to heat up like it did before when they were kissing on the bed and the need of feeling the demon close had started to cloud his mind once again. Would it happen every time they would kiss like that?
"Crowley…" the angel started a bit breathless, lowering his eyes shily. "When...eh...when we kiss like this...does you body also start feeling...weird? Like…". "Excited? Heated up? Yes, it's...it's a natural reaction. It makes me want to touch you and to kiss you...how I did before...you liked it, right?". Just the memory of it made the angel feel a wave of pleasure in his lower stomach. He took a deep breath and nodded. "Quiet much" he said looking at the demon’s eyes for a moment with a shy smile.
The demon smiled and leaned his lips over Aziraphale's neck, not kissing it yet but brushing them against the soft skin, teasily. He could feel the skin curling under the touch and the angel's breath becoming more elaborated. "I could do it again if you would like…" he whispered and Aziraphale closed his eyes feeling too weak to refuse so he nodded and instantly the demon started kissing his neck, sucking softly on the skin sometimes.
None of them were absolutely clueless about what sort of actions usually leaded to. Crowley have seen movies,shows,talked to people, and even watched pornography just because he was curious about it as he was about many other things. But it hadn't had any effect on him, he just found it interesting.
And Aziraphale, well, he had read many books, any sort of books. Erotic ones included which hadn't had any effect on him either but he had found them alluring.
What was new for them was feeling those sensations and emotions by themselves. No book or movie could really teach them how they would feel involved in an act like that. So that was something they were discovering together. As always, Crowley being the most brave and shameless of them. Aziraphale was not only shy but also a bit scared of consequences but it happened in his mind just for a few seconds before the demon would make his whole body tremble in pleasure, then he couldn’t do anything else but enjoying Crowley’s kisses and touches.
Crowley started unbuttoning the wrong buttoned Aziraphale’s clothes again, not pulling his lips away from his skin, melting with every little sound the angel made everytime he bit him slightly. The demon had never felt the need to undress the angel, neither to kiss him or to hear him doing those absolutely cute sounds. He was just content being by his side, spending time with him, and receiving his friendship. But now they had discovered this new sensations, he couldn’t stop wanting the angel. It was intoxicating and he didn’t even know what he was doing, he was following just his instincts, his desire.
This time, the angel decided he wouldn’t try to think about anything and that he would just enjoy the moment and to be more active on it. It wasn’t natural for him not to be thinking about consequences, punishments, what’s right, what’s wrong, and so, but he was really trying to change that imposed way of thinking. He was still an angel, and he will still try to do his best for the humanity, but it seemed like he wouldn’t be tied up to any kind of angelic rules anymore since his head office, neither other divisions, were demanding his services.
So shily, the angel slid his hands to Crowley’s shirt and started unbuttoning it as well, then he slid his hands over the bare skin and wrapped his arms around his chest, under the shirt touching the soft back.
The demon hummed in pleasure, he had never been touched like that before so even it was a simple touch of the angel’s soft fingers, it felt amazing. He gasped over the angel’s skin when he started to kiss his neck shily, imitating what he was doing to him. “Fuck, angel” the demon whispered.
“Language” Aziraphale singed and Crowley smiled. “I’m sorry”.
Crowley started to explore the angel’s body with the tip of his fingers. Every part he discovered was soft like porcelain and when he had explore his whole torso, he slid his hands to his niples. He had loved how Aziraphale reacted to his touch on them, so he wanted to do it again.
The angel didn’t disappointed him and moaned softly stopping kissing him for a moment, like he just lost the concentration on doing so. Then he also slid his hands to the demon’s sensitive spots and imitated what he was doing. Crowley didn’t expect that movement so he gasped again in surprise and in pleasure. It felt so good and the angel was really amazing at learning everything he was doing to him. The demon reached for the angel’s lips and kissed him passionately. Their bodies felt like burning in that sensation that made them want to feel each other desperately. And there was something new for them happening inside their pants. They both knew perfectly what it was, by theory, but it was the first time it was happening to them.
Crowley was, once again, the one taking control of the situation. He didn’t know if it was happening to the angel too or not, but he knew very well that if it was happening to him, the angel would be freaking out in a few seconds so he wanted to let him know it was normal, and it was okay.
The demon wasn't wrong. Aziraphale had started feeling it, and with it the increase of his desire for the demon which was overwhelming him and making him feel extremely ashamed. But then Crowley wrapped his arms around Aziraphale's hips, pulling their hips together. They could feel each other's filling erections and it gave them a wave of pleasure they didn't expect.
It made the angel forget about his shame and teased Crowley's self control.
They both moaned softly in each other's lips and without breaking the kiss, the demon pulled them both to the desk, where he sat slightly and opened his legs, making the angel stand between them and made their hips move a bit together, causing an addictive friction that got them both fully hard in a moment.
Soon they both were a panting mess, and unable to continue kissing each other, Aziraphale hid his face in Crowley's shoulder and the demon did the same. They were just holding each other and moving their hips, feeling the pleasure of their erections rubbing against each other.
Suddenly, because there's always a 'suddenly', the clock on the room sounded. They hadn't noticed it before, but they did then, at least Aziraphale did, and he remembered Anathema and Newton could arrive at any time. It totally depended on traffic but if they were lucky, they wouldn't be about to come back. "Crowley…" he mumbled not really wanting to stop but understanding they had to. "They...could come at any time...look at the hour…". He said pointing at the clock on the wall with his head.
Crowley grunted and looked at it, he hadn't even noticed before, and cursed internally because the angel was right.
He grunted again and pinched the bridge of his nose trying to think of something but there was not solution. They had to stop while they could to avoid a terribly embarrassing situation.
The demon took a deep breath feeling defeated by the fact, and looked at the angel, who was looking at him with a cute sad expression that let him know he didn't feel like stopping either and it made him feel good. That Aziraphale wanted him, felt incredible.
"Okay...do you think...we can...sober up" the demon air-quoted that last "from this?”. Aziraphale frowned worried. “I hope so...I don’t want to be seen like this” he said blushing deeply. “Ye, me neither, let’s try”. ‘Only you are allowed to see me like this’ Crowley thought but he didn’t say it aloud.
They closed their eyes and concentrated just like they did when they needed to take the downcasted alcohol and it worked. Their erections were gone and their bodies didn’t feel desperate for each other anymore.
They shared a look and nodded. “Good. Now let’s decent up too” the demon said and clicked his fingers fixing their clothes. The angel looked at himself and smiled. “Thank you, is that a new expression? I’m not sure is correct” he said kindly and amused, he liked when Crowley invented expressions, he wasn’t really trying to correct him this time. The demon smirked and shrugged walking to the bed where he laid on his back and then patted the mattress asking the angel to join him.
Aziraphale laid beside the demon and they both stood quiet for some minutes, just relaxing. Crowley wanted to say so many things. He wanted to confess he was in love with the angel so he didn’t want to ever stop doing what they were doing, neither to be apart from him. He wanted to say the angel’s lips drove him crazy and that he loved his skin. But none of that went out of his mouth. Those words were stuck in his throat, he could almost literally feel them. “It felt good, right?” it was all he said instead.
The angel looked at him blushing and smiled shily. “Yes, it did”.
“I-I was thinking we could...do it again...I mean not today, but...in another moment…” the demon kept his eyes on the ceiling, his cheeks had turned red so he didn’t want to look straight to the angel. Aziraphale did the same. “Y-yes, we totally could...there’s nothing wrong in it, isn’t it?” he chuckled nervously.
“Absolutely nothing” Crowley answered knowing he wasn’t sure about that but he didn’t care.
They stood quiet for another moment. The angel wanted to say some things as well, but he was trying to understand them first. It was easier for him to speak his feelings but his problem was, he wasn’t good at understanding them, or at identifying them, just the opposite to Crowley. “I liked feeling you like that…” Aziraphale started. “It makes me feel closer to you and, beside whatever silly things you may think sometimes, I want to be close to you. I like to be this close to you”.
Crowley turned his face to the angel and felt like his heart was about to explode. That was the closest love confession he knew he would get from the angel, at least for the moment. He knew him well, and he knew he may still be trying to understand what was going on inside himself.
The demon smiled wide, wider than he had ever smiled in his life. His heart flushed and he felt happy, really happy. He always knew the angel loved him, but he doubted they would share that special way of love but they did, or it seemed so.
Aziraphale felt the demon’s eyes on him so he turned his head to look at him too and found him smiling. He blushed, thinking Crowley may make fun of him for what he just said. “I have always wanted to be this close to you” the demon said noticing Aziraphale was about to get defensive thinking he was going to make fun of him. They knew each other very well.
The angel raised his eyebrows. “ Always ?” it wasn’t the first time the demon claimed to feel something for the angel since...always, and it sounded weird to Aziraphale. At the start, when they met, they immediately got along with each other, but their real friendship took some years to sit, so he couldn’t understand why he said ‘ always ’ all the time.
The demon raised his eyebrows as well. He knew he had been feeling love for Aziraphale from so long, and it was easier for him to know because demons didn’t feel love and it had been the first time he had felt so, that he had cared about someone, missed him, but it hadn't been from always, no.
Crowley shrugged. “The truth? I don’t know…” he said confused and Aziraphale smiled. “I will say it too then, I always wanted to be this close to you, Crowley” he said and when the demon thought his heart may really explode, the angel did a face that was supposed to imitate Crowley’s. “Aziraphale, I had always loved you because you are the best magician ever”. The demon snorted trying to suppress a guffaw. “Shut up, angel” he said chuckling “You are the worst magician I have ever seen...from... always ”. The angel laughed and they started to joke about it, and to remember when Aziraphale tried to impress some kids on a park and they laughed at him, and then when a 7 years old kid proven to be a better magician than him.
They laughed hard. They always had laughed hard together until their faced hurted. There wasn’t anyone in the entire universe capable to make each other laugh like this, and it had been like that since the beginning of the times, it had always been like that. They just couldn’t remember it.
Thank you so much for reading my story :). If you want to find me out of here, you can do it in:
Thank you for kudos and comments <3 *Hugs*.
Chapter 8: The confession. The traitors.
Words get released and feelings get exposed. But nothing goes easy for an angel and demon in love with each other.
“When all this is over...could I tempt you to eat some sushi? I’m dying for a california roll right now” the angel said. They were still waiting for Anathema and Newton, who were taking more time than they had expected them to take. Maybe it was due to the crazy London traffic. Living in the Soho has many delightful advantages, but driving wasn’t one of them. Unless you were a demon driving a black Bentley and not caring other cars or pedestrians at all.
“Sure” said the demon laid beside Aziraphale. “But the first I need to do is to get my car back and to take care of my plants. I got a new one that is a bit of a rebel, I need to remember it what’s its freaking job more often than to the others…”.
The angel raised his eyebrows. “Oh, and what’s is that job? I can’t imagine what a plant would have for a...job?”.
“To grow well, angel. To grow beautiful and splendid for me, that’s all they have to do and yet some of them just don’t get it” Crowley said tightening his teeth and the angel couldn’t help but to look at him confused. A part of him wanted to smile, maybe to chuckle, he always found adorable that the demon liked plants, but knowing him, he was terrifying them for sure.
“Crowley, they are plants, they grow how they can and they are still beautiful anyway. I have seen them, they look great”. Aziraphale had been some times in the demon’s apartment. Usually they met in the bookshop because usually it was Crowley the one going to see the angel, but sometimes has happened the other way around.
Aziraphale liked more to be visited than to go to Crowley’s place, because he was afraid to be caught in there by his head office, but it wouldn’t be a problem anymore.
“Oh, you haven’t seen the new one...it won’t stop growing spots...it gets me on nerves” the demon protested and then sighed deeply.
“I could go see it once we get your car” Aziraphale said blushing and giving the demon a fast shy look before turning to the ceiling. He knew Crowley liked him to go to his apartment and he knew why the angel wasn’t doing it, so he wanted to change that for him. Aziraphale wanted to do nice things for the demon, to show him how much he cared about him, how much he loved him, which he haven’t done very well before because of the fear to his head office. He deserved it, he had always deserved it.
Crowley felt ticklish in his stomach and looked at the angel with his eyes wide opened. The few times he had visited his apartment had been because of some sort of emergencies, or when his bookshop was burnt out and he had to spend a night there until it was restored by Adam. “Would...would you like to come?” the demon asked still not believing what he just heard.
“Yes, dear, we could go to the sushi restaurant afterwards” Aziraphale looked at him blushing shily, and Crowley tried to hide a smile. “It sounds like a plan then. We just need to finish this”. ‘And we will be free to spend days together’ he thought but didn’t said it aloud. He, as a demon, had already did enough not so demonic things, he wouldn’t start saying all the stupid cheesy things his mind invented, he promised to himself.
“Talking about that...shouldn’t they be already here?” Aziraphale leaned into a sitting position and looked at the clock. A whole hour had passed since they laid on the bed chatting. Crowley imitated him and nodded worried. “Even in the worse traffic mess scenario, you don’t take that much to come back here...what if the psycho found them?”.
“Gabriel said he had distracted her somehow...that we would have some hours before she would realise her plan didn’t work” the angel said frowning.
“We both know that prick is not trustable, angel...”. Aziraphale didn’t ask the demon to care about his language this time. He was right, and it was really logical to start getting worried about Anathema and Newton.
The angel rested his elbows on his knees and hid his face on his hands feeling worried and frustrated because they couldn’t even leave the house and go to look for them. What if they had leaded two humans to their death? He was an angel, he was supposed to protect them and to spread love between them, not to send them to a suicide mission. Suddenly he felt the demon’s hand on his back. “Angel, they are fine, they are not regular humans...they know how to deal with...supernatural stuff” Crowley said softly.
He didn’t even trust his words, but he didn’t like to see Aziraphale like that. It had always been a weakness for him. If the angel was looking in distress, he was doing whatever it was needed to help him, or to spoil him.
Aziraphale released his face from his hands to look at the demon and smiled softly. “Thank you, dear, I hope you are right. They are good people...I don’t want anything bad happen to them because of us…” he said lowering his head and resting his hands on his lap.
The demon looked at him and tried to stop himself from wrapping an arm around his shoulders, but he failed. He had always had a good control on himself to not do those kind of things he had always felt like doing. They were wrong for a demon, and even more wrong for a demon toward an angel. And it was like he cared so much about what was right and wrong but he knew Aziraphale did.
But after Aziraphale kissed him, he had got his hopes up about the angel having the same, or at least similar, feelings for him than those he had, so then it was harder than ever to stop himself from touching him. The angel could have only kissed him because he told him he wanted to try the kissing thing, and he just found the right moment for it. But Aziraphale could had just stopped after they kissed, they didn’t have to keep kissing, and they did more than kissing actually. The angel didn’t protest or pulled away at any moment, just the opposite so there was a possibility after all, which made his heart beat faster just at the thinking of it. He was doomed, he thought.
Aziraphale blushed slightly and leaned on Crowley, resting his forehead against his’, enjoying the warm support he was offering him. He could never deny it felt incredibly good. He was a demon but he was nothing like them and once again, he shown that fact to the angel.
Aziraphale’s heart flushed when the demon didn’t pull away. Usually, he was, somehow, avoiding every touch with the angel. He wasn’t very touchy himself, although he was way more touchy than Crowley, but the demon always pulled away nervously.
The angel never felt offended about it. It was normal for a demon to be like that, they weren’t used to soft contact, but it seemed to have changed and Aziraphale couldn’t be more glad of it.
In fact more than that had changed between them, both of them could feel it. It felt like a door that had been forced to remain closed, suddenly got opened and it had a marvelous treasure hidden inside. A treasure they didn’t know how to use yet, but they wanted to get to know it.
“Thank you so much, dear” the angel said softly, closing his eyes, feeling his anxiety and worrying about Anathema and Newton fading away.
“For what?” Crowley asked.
“For this, for everything” Aziraphale lifted his head to look at the demon’s eyes, and he noticed how his cheeks blushed slightly.
Crowley snorted and looked away. “Don’t thank me, angel…” he said with his defensive tone, a demon shouldn’t be thanked but it wasn’t what made Crowley answer in such a manner, but his shyness, his fear for his feelings to be too exposed. It has always been like that, but he was sure the angel thought it was because of the demon thing. It should be, but no, it never was the reason with Aziraphale because he cared about him beyond any demon thing.
Crowley lowered his head and added a shily “I’d do anything for you, angel, you know that…” and then looked at him. Aziraphale smiled lovingly to him and not matter how much the demon wanted to look away to hide his cheeks getting absurdly red, he couldn’t stop watching at that beautiful smile he loved with his whole soul, what was left of it. “I know, me too, Crowley” the angel said and they found themselves unable to stop looking at each other. There were many words to be said that they couldn’t or didn’t know how to say. Their hearts were beating hard inside their chests..
‘Come on, tell him, stop being a fucking coward, you are a demon!’ Crowley said to himself in his mind, finding the moment more than appropriate to confess his feelings. He wouldn’t be able to hold them anyway, and Aziraphale would figure them out at some point if he hadn't have already. He wasn’t afraid he would push him away anymore, maybe he wouldn’t love him back that way, but he wouldn’t lose his angel, he knew that.
But Aziraphale was the first to talk. “Look, Crowley…” he lowered his head blushing and playing with his fingers on his lap. He knew it wasn’t the best moment to talk about feelings but he felt them stuck in his throat and he needed to release them, or to try to at least. “I have feelings...” the demon’s heart missed a beat just before it started beating that fast that he thought it would explode. “...I still don’t understand completely but…” the angel exhaled trying to find the right words, but it was hard to find them when he didn’t even know what he wanted to say.
“I...angel...eh…” Crowley started to say but he froze when Aziraphale looked at him with those beautiful blue eyes and his cheeks blushed slightly. “But I know that...me...eh...I...as an angel...I love all the living creatures, but from all of them, you are the most precious for me, Crowley. You have been for a while…” he chuckled nervously and lowered his head shily. “For more than a while, I just...tried to deny it because I thought it would be the best for us both”. He nodded still smiling nervously and then looked at Crowley again.
The demon was looking at him with wide eyes and red cheeks, he couldn’t believe what he was hearing, was he understand it well? His brain was working faster than it ever did, trying to process the angel’s words, and trying to not get them wrong. They were clear, they sounded clear, but even he had already accepted the possibility, it still sounded too good to be truth. “But there’s not point on denying it anymore, right?” The angel chuckled shily and gave Crowley a fast look. The angel curled his fingers around the fabric of his trousers, on his lap, waiting nervously for what Crowley has to say, but he standed there, in silent, just looking at him and not being able even to move. ‘Coward, coward, come on, he is saying he loves you, come on’ the demon thought in his mind and his mouth finally fell opened.
“What…” Aziraphale took a deep breath trying to steady his hammering heart and to get strength enough to look at Crowley and keep his eyes on his, because what he wanted to say needed to be said like that, looking in those unique beautiful yellow eyes, because he didn’t want to be misunderstood and he didn’t want to hold it anymore. “What I’m trying to say is...I think I’m in love with you, Crowley” he said and looked away for a moment. “I’m...well, I’m pretty sure I am…” the angel nodded looking at the demon with a expression that mixed several emotions. Relief, love, fear. What if the demon would reject him? Reject him and go away from him? But Crowley said nothing, he kept looking at him with a shocked expression for what felt like hours.
The angel was about to beg for him to say something when Crowley finally reacted. “I...I could have never imagined...I…” what the demon wanted to say was that he always imagined him confessing to the angel and there was not place in his mind for the other way around. And he had been imagining that escene for thousands of years. Sometimes the angel was slapping him on his face and turning around, others he was smiling nervously and awkwardly inventing a excuse to leave, and others, he was loving him back.
His mind never went beyond that because the last option was too good that it hurts so bad to convince himself it won’t ever happened, so he forced himself to not dream about it. Which was always hard everytime Aziraphale would show him a little bit of affection. The angel frowned, he was starting to worry, he could see the fear in his eyes, the same fear he had felt in his imagination when he was the first confessing. “That...you would be the one saying that, Aziraphale...I just…”. But a known voice interrupted the demon. It was heard from outside of the house and their stomach felt like dropping and their blood froze.
“So congratulations, idiots, you really made me mad now, so you better come outside to play before I decide to pay my anger with your lovely friends” Jophiel said. The demon and the angel looked at each other. “She got them…” said Aziraphale feeling how his fears about Newton and Anathema became true.
“How the hell?...Gabriel said she bought us some time...he lied to us...that bastard…” Crowley said tightening his teeth.
The angel doubted Gabriel had lied to them, what for? It was true he wasn’t a trustable archangel, any of them was? But it makes not sense he tried to make a truce with them to get rid of Jophiel and half of an hour after she would appear.
“We have to get out...they are in danger…” the angel said worried sick. They hadn’t seen it was Newton and Anathema but they didn’t have to, they could feel them.
Crowley shook his head. “I’m going out, and you are staying here, I will try to negotiate with her. I’m a demon...my words are like spells…” he said standing up but Aziraphale stood up too and grabbed him by the arm. He knew well his words didn’t work on angels. “I can’t have you risking your life again, I can’t, Crowley” he said looking at the demon with shining eyes, like he was about to cry.
“I can’t have you risking your life either, angel, I can do this, please” he begged placing a hand on Aziraphale’s one that was grabbing his arm. But the angel shook his head. “It is out of question, I’m going with you”.
Aziraphale set Crowley free and started walking through the bedroom door. The demon tried to stop him binding him to the floor with his powers but the angel was ready for it and he skipped the trick. He turned to look at the red haired male with a serious expression the demon knew well, he was determined to go out and he wouldn’t be able to stop him, so he just walked with him.
They went through the front door finding Jophiel standing with her arms crossed over her chest. Behind her, there were two jails made by celestial golden iron bars that shined. Inside each of them was one of the humans who decided to help the traitors and to go to Aziraphale’s bookshop to get the book that would help them get rid of the archangel. They both were unconscious which worried the angel as soon as he saw them. “What have you done to them? They are innocent people! Let them go!” he said approaching her, followed by Crowley.
The archangel chuckled. “Don’t worry, traitor, they are just asleep, but don’t get confused, they are not innocent! They will be judged as you for treason!”.
“You are fucking insane, they are humans! They can’t be judged by you” Crowley yelled to her already trying to figure a plan out. Jophiel rolled her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Listen you two, I’m already sick of you, so let’s finish this as soon as possible, I have many things to do. One of them is to punish your friend Gabriel”.
“He is not my friend” Crowley hurried to say with a disgusted face and the archangel raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t he? Didn’t he try to stop me from finding you here? He was just so stupid...he thought making me busy would distract me from checking on you. But there was nothing I wanted to see more than that stupid face” she pointed to Aziraphale. “Devastated by the lost, so there was nothing that could distract me from check on you” she said with an evil smile that was far from looking angelic.
Aziraphale looked at her hurt. He felt like he couldn’t understood anymore even the very little he understand about their goddess, how someone like her was an archangel? When did the heaven became this full of bad angels trying to hurt humans and each others? They were made to love, not to hate. He felt so disappointed he couldn’t even find words to say to Jophiel. But his demon aproached her in a threatening manner. “You are a fucking disgusting bastard...a stupid excuse for an archangel, how can you want to hurt an angel, one of yours that bad? You should be falled already…” Crowley said spilling all his hatred in every word he said. Aziraphale followed the demon not wanting to get away from him in any moment. He couldn’t allow Jophiel to hurt him again not matter what.
The archangel rolled her eyes and sighed. “Too much talking, let’s get this started” she said with a stoic expression and reached her arm to them. Crowley’s wings were displayed trying to protect his angel behind them. “You are right, let’s finish this” the demon said getting ready to fight. Aziraphale displayed his wings as well, he wouldn’t let Crowley fight alone, he didn’t care anymore if she was an archangel, she didn’t acted like one anymore. Then they heard a dog barking and the three of them turned their heads to the left.
Adam had arrived after lunch, just as he promised. Suddenly the jails the witch and the human male were locked in disappeared, leaving them laying on the ground, and Jophiel’s arms and legs got tied by a nearby tree roots.
“Nobody is going to hurt my friends if I can prevent it” the kid said with his arm in the archangel direction.
Crowley and Aziraphale looked at him. The angel with a big smile on his face, and the demon raising his eyebrows in surprised. “Kid…” the second said.
“Oh Adam, you are saving us again, I don’t know how we are going to pay you all this back” Aziraphale said so relieved and grateful.
“You can always buy me an ice-cream” the kid said shrugging and smiling. Crowley smiled in return, he was a demon, but he couldn’t help to like that kid. He had a weakness for every kid, in fact. He liked how natural, honest and selfish they were, he always thought the world should be full of kids instead adults.
He had tried to hide that weakness from Aziraphale but he had realised it when he caught him protecting and sheltering some kids from a storm during the world war second. His heart had melt then, and everytime he caught him playing with kids, or being sweet to the fake antichrist, Warlock.
Jophiel looked at them with a bored expression. “Dear lord...now I have to deal with a kid too? I have a lot of work to manage to be playing like this”.
“Shut up!” Adam shouted to the tied archangel. “I will send you to heaven and I will forbid you to ever come to Tadfield again, this is my kingdom, and there’s not place for evil angels”.
Jophiel raised her eyebrows and then laughed. “Okay, annoying little human. Hastur?” she called.
“Hastur?” Crowley tensed up, that demon had always been a pain in his ass and the less he needed was him getting involved in that mess.
The demon in question appeared smirking and with a click on his fingers, Aziraphale, Crowley and Jophiel were teleported to the hell’s door.
“You forgot the humans, idiot!” The archangel yelled at Hastur. “Humans can’t be teleported to here...you know that, stupid angel!”.
While they argued, Crowley looked at Aziraphale frowning. He didn’t have his sunglasses on so the angel could see the fear on his eyes. “We are doomed, angel...I can feel it...I can feel Hastur is not the same…”. The angel looked at him worried and scared. He had felt something too, something that made his blood get cold and he had no idea how they were going to escape from that situation. They didn’t even have their humans friends anymore, they were by their own, and it wasn’t like they weren’t powerful. Even they had spent miles of years in the earth, they were still perfectly prepared to defend themselves, but they weren’t to protect themselves from an archangel, and a hell lord. Nobody was.
Aziraphale grabbed the demon’s hand and squeezed it. Crowley looked at him and squeezed his hand back, sliding his free hand to his adorable face. “Have you tried to teleport ourselves back?” he asked softly and watched how the angel bit his bottom lip and nodded. “Me too...they are blocking our powers…” the demon rested his forehead on the angel’s. “I’m going to come out with something...I’m going to save us...I just need to think...” Crowley said refusing to give up. And Aziraphale wanted to believe him, wanted to know how to escape, how to save them, but he didn’t and a part of him knew their story was reaching its end.
“Eeeeh, no, no, no...no cuddles, or...whatever it is what you are doing” Jophiel said once she was done with her discussion with his demon allie, and she separated them with a movement of her hand. “Dear lord, you two are disgusting…”.
Aziraphale’s face turned red, but not because he was ashamed to be caught in a intimate moment with Crowley, but of pure anger. “Disgusting? An angel...no, an archangel should never find love, in any way or sense, disgusting!” he yelled at her tired, tired of how hypocrites their kind turned out to be. “We are an angel and a demon, and what? Haven’t we kept the earth under control all this time anyway? Why the...hell…” Crowley looked at him raising his eyebrows. “...do you care that much about us? You both go to do whatever you do, and leave us alone! Why are you that obsessed with us? It’s so stupid!”.
Jophiel blinked twice. “Why? Because maybe you are breaking the rules? Because maybe you stopped the armageddon we have been preparing for centuries?” she said offended. She couldn’t understand why they still didn’t see what they had done wrong.
“Well, actually, we did a poor job stopping the armageddon, the humans did almost all the job” Crowley said shrugging.
“You put our lord’s son against him, you traitor...your should be dead already” Hastur said tightening his teeth. “By the way” he said straightening his back with pride. “Do you know who’s our division lord now? Because of Beelzebub incompetence?”
Crowley rolled his eyes. “Oh, Hastur, shut up, of course we have noticed. Don’t be that proud of yourself, you got the job because they were punished, otherwise you would have never…” the demon couldn’t finish the phrase because an invisible force tightened his whole body and made him fall on his knees in pain. His arms and wings tied by that invisible force behind his back.
“Crowley!” the angel ran to him but he couldn’t reach him, Jophiel stopped him just one meter from the demon.
The archangel clicked her tongue in annoyance. “Can we just please finish this?”.
Hastur was tightening his teeth in anger, he always hated Crowley’s insolence, but he thought he would respect him once he was their division lord, and the disappointment just made him furious.
“Let’s finish it, yes” the demon lord clapped his fingers again and three ethereal figures appeared. They hadn’t eyes, and their skin were grey and unnatural. The three of them were dressed with the same black tunics, they were the demon’s board. The ones who would have the last word in every trial, even for angels.
Aziraphale were magical put on his knees too with his arms and wings tied to his back. Crowley grunted. “Don’t fucking touch him!” he yelled to them but they just smiled.
The angel hurried to look at him and shook his head, asking him for not make a scene and make them hurt them again. “I’m okay” he said softly and the demon looked at him furious and scared.
Aziraphale had seem him furious many times, but he had never seen him that scared what made him want to hug him and to protect him, but he couldn’t.
“They are the fucking demon’s board, angel...they brought the fucking demon’s board…” Crowley told him apparently finally freaking out. The angel would freak out too if he would be in front of the angel’s board, but since they weren’t, he felt brave and confident enough to talk.
“Eh...hello” he started and smiled nervously. “I’d like to ask for the right of defending ourselves and to expose the occurrences from our point of view before being judge. It would be just the fair thing to do, and you are the demon’s board so I’m sure…”.
“Silence” one of the creatures said with a deep voice. “There’s not need for any word from any of you, the judgement had been taken already, and approved by the present lord of the earth demon’s division, and Jophiel, the archangel”.
Aziraphale looked at Crowley in panic and saw the same in his eyes.
“This angel has done nothing!” The demon started turning to the creatures. “I have been influencing him, whispering to him so he would do whatever I pleased. So he had done nothing! It was all my fault, punish me. I’m the one who laugh of you all, bastards!”.
The angel looked at him, his heart hammering inside his chest, what Crowley was thinking? He couldn’t see him being punished again, he couldn’t. “That’s not true! I…” he started but he was cut by another member of the demon’s board “Silence” this time from the second creature.
“Angel Aziraphale, you will be condemned to lose your memories once again”. The angel frowned, once again? he asked himself. “And to lose your wings. You will be reincarnated into a human”. The angel’s mouth felt opened, he couldn’t believe what he just heard. He didn’t care about anything but his memories, he wouldn’t even remember Crowley?
“Ha! Weren’t you so in love with the earth? Well, it seems like you will perish there then” Jophiel said smiling wide and Hastur nodded smiling as well.
“No, no! I’m fucking telling you! He is innocent! Why aren’t you hearing?! You don’t have eyes, but you have freakin ears!” Crowley was losing the last of the temple he had left. He tried to move, he tried to use his powers, he tried everything grunting and cursing, he couldn’t let them to do anything to his angel.
“And you, Crowley, you will spend the rest of the eternity in hell’s jail, being tortured everyday, not matter how many times you ask for redemption. And you won’t ever see this angel again” the third creature said. And Crowley felt like his heart broke, his whole world broke. He knew very well it was impossible to escape from the demon’s jail. It was permanently guarded and the iron bars were enchanted to block demon’s powers.
A sound of a hammer hitting something evolved the room even there wasn’t any hammer at sight and they both knew the judgement were rendered. Aziraphale’s tears started to fall down his face. He wouldn’t mind to fall, he wouldn’t mind to become a human, but he couldn’t stand losing Crowley. “You can’t do this...there may be a way to solve this...please...I’d do anything…” he begged to the creatures but they remained in silence and motionless.
Crowley kept trying to move, to do something, but he couldn’t yell at them anymore. bitter tears were running through his face. He wouldn’t survive without seeing his angel, his smile, his frowns, his cheeks blushed, he couldn’t.
“Well, well, so...let’s do our job, Arturo” Jophiel said and Hastur grunted. “It’s Hastur!”. “Oh, I know, but Arturo sounds way better”. The demon rolled his eyes and they both reached their arms toward Aziraphale and Crowley.
It was then when Crowley knew they has lost, and he has lost everything so he stopped trying to move, he looked at his angel who was looking at him with his face in tears but with a soft smile for him, just for him.
“I love you, Aziraphale, with my whole soul, I have always loved you” he managed to said while he felt how his chest ached, he had never cried like that, like the tears were drowning him and he couldn’t even breath.
“I love you too, Crowley, I love you more than anything else” the angel answered trying to give him his best smile, he didn’t want him to give him anything else than an smile he could remember him with. But how could he truly smile when his heart was broken?
Slowly the angel started to fade away, like he was getting erased from the reality, and in a way, he was. He kept talking to Crowley but his voice wasn’t already being heard.
The demon tried so desperately to hear what he was saying, but he couldn’t. Once Aziraphale’s face was gone, he rested his forehead on the floor. Screamed and cried until his lungs burnt. He couldn’t see how the rest of the angel faded away in front of him.
When the angel was totally gone, the demon’s board disappeared from the scene and Hastur approached Crowley and grabbed him violently by his arm, making him stand on his feet. The demon was crying disconsolate, he didn’t care if it was Hastur who touched him, he didn’t care he was taking him to be punished. He didn’t care about anything anymore. His life, his heart, his soul, every hint of him was destroyed beyond repair.
Hello all! Thank you so much for the kudos and comments <3. I know this chapter is a bit shitty and hurried, but I don’t like to spend much time on scenes that won’t bring much to the story. It’s not the last chapter at all, so don’t worry, it won’t end up like this ;).
Thank you so much for reading me!
Chapter 9: Demon's hearts broke too
Crowley ended up accepting he would never see Aziraphale again losing his motivation to live, but then, he got visitors.
When I use the pronoum "they/them" for a character, it means they have a neutral gender. No male, no female :), maybe both, maybe none.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Demon’s jail was similar to medieval times ones. A dark place full of cold tight chambres where the prisoners remained locked most of the day, except for the torturing hour that had a different duration depending on the prisoner’s crime. And the single one hour they were allowed to stretch their muscles and go outside their cells for a walk, or to get some training in the common chamber, or some interactions with other demons, any kind of interaction was allowed. The cells didn’t have anything else than a cold floor made of black stones and walls. Demons didn’t have most of the humans necessities, so they didn’t even need a bed or a restroom.
Crowley spent the days laid over the cold floor, sleeping even he didn’t need to. Being awake was too painful for him, not because of the wounds the torture he was receiving every day hurted his body, he didn’t feel even feel them, but because of the lost of his angel. He didn’t only miss him but he was also worried sick about him. Humans world could be so cruel, what if he was forced to be born in war zone, or in a family without resources? What if he would have an unhappy life? He couldn’t help him, couldn’t save him if he would get himself into troubles, not anymore and it made him feel nauseous.
The demon was broken, torn into pieces that would never be put together again. And he didn’t care about it, he didn’t care about anything but Aziraphale which made his personal torturer feel very frustrated everyday. The creature was doing any sort of cruel violence on Crowley’s body and he wouldn’t even made a sound, wouldn’t even protest or to cry in pain. The demon just remained in silence, motionless, like he was an already dead body, and maybe he was, he thought sometimes, because he had gave up on living or thinking about anything else than his angel.
Hastur sometimes visited him with the intention to tease him. He would feed Crowley’s fears about Aziraphale having an unhappy life, and then it was the only moment the demon was reacting. He would try to jump on Hastur to tear him apart even he could only use his bare hands since his powers were blocked. He would scream to him until his throat hurted, absolutely out of himself, and the new lord of the earth division would leave smiling satisfied.
But at some point, Crowley stopped reacting to Hastur teasing. He felt empty, hollow. And it wasn’t like he stopped caring about what Hastur said of Aziraphale could be truth or not. Crowley just understood he has nothing to do, not even to punch Hastur to fulfill a little tiny part of his revenge, and it broke what was left of him. He could do nothing, not for helping his angel, not for avenging him, so he lost completely every hope.
Five years had passed and Crowley still spent his days crying Aziraphale loss and sleeping as much as he could. He wasn’t having any interaction with other demons since he wasn’t getting out of his cell willingly, but sometimes, some demon went to talk to him, to tease him, or looking for a sexual interaction. Crowley would just ignore them like they weren’t there. Some of them didn’t like to be ignored and they hit him but the red haired demon just let them hurt him, he didn’t care. He would only react when they tried to do something sexual to him, even he hadn’t accept it, then he was doing whatever was needed to stop it. Aziraphale was the only who has ever touched him that way and he wanted it to remain that way at all cost. The angel had been the only one he had ever felt desires for, even he was a demon and demons were made for excesses and lust. He had never been that way and won’t ever be.
Someday, a demon on his primitive form visited Crowley. Their body was like a shadow dressed in the regulated jail black clothes, and their face was full of red eyes.
Angels and demons had many different forms, and they could change their bodies to any of them whenever they wanted to, but all of them had a primitive form. For demons it was similar to a shadow. Depends on the demon, they had more than two eyes, or none at all, big mouth full of pointing teeth, long arms that would reach the floor, etc. They were scary for other creatures like angels, or humans, so most of the time, they avoided that form, in order to not bring much attention if they didn’t want to.
“Hello, Crowley” the demon said, their voice sounded shy, maybe scared of the demon with the red hair laid on the floor, turned to the wall.
“I don’t mean to bother you but...I just arrived here two days ago and I heard you were here so I had to come and talk to you”. Crowley remained quiet, ignoring them like he had ignore everyone else. Some minutes passed by and he could still feel a presence looking at him, but he didn’t care, they could stare at him as much as they wanted to, they wouldn’t get his attention.
“I heard what happened to Aziraphale and I’m sorry...I’m sorry you were forced to be separated again” the demons said and Crowley turned to look at them surly. Their several eyes widened at the sudden movement of the red haired demon and then they looked away in a shy manner.
It took Crowley a few seconds to make his throat work. He didn’t remember the last time he said a single word. “What do you know about Aziraphale?” he asked with a deep broken tone and he had to clear his throat immediately. It felt like his throat muscles were stunted.
“Oh, oh, I’m sorry, it’s true...your memory was erased...so you won’t ever remember me, do you?” a nervous chuckle came from the creature. “Well, I have also changed so much, I may say...I don’t even have the same shape since I fell, obviously…” the creature said shily.
Crowley blinked twice not understanding anything they said and turned getting into a sitting position. “What the hell are you mumbling about?” he asked between annoyance and curiosity.
The demon took a few steps to get closer to Crowley and sat in front of him, crossing his long legs. “I used to be Deliel until I fell...not so long ago. I was your friend in heaven, so I was with Aziraphale. Well, you never called me friend, but I believed we were” the nervously chuckling sounded again and Crowley frowned. “I don’t remember any Deliel and I’m not in the mood for nonsense chatting, so just tell me what you know about Aziraphale”. The red haired demon was just so desperate to hear something about his angel, to hear his name from someone else like it would make him be there with him. But also wanted to know why a demon would know his name, it worried him.
The demon looked at him with his eyes and all of them blinked once before he started to talk again. “You really don’t remember anything from when you were an angel, do you?”.
Crowley grunted losing his not too wide patient. “I remember some stuff, but it’s none of your business so now answer my question or leave my fucking cell”.
The demon shook his head. “Alright, alright, I’m sorry...Aziraphale, yes...I meet you both the day you were fixing some stars archangel Michael had made, you said they were ugly and you were showing Aziraphale how to change them into something beautiful. I was lost and you two was kind enough to help me find the way to my head office. I was a new angel, as now I’m a new demon...a not so effective one it seems...since I’m here” they chuckled nervously again. It was clear he fell not so long ago, they still kept some of his angel life personality, demons didn’t act like that.
Crowley opened his eyes wide and his heart started beating faster. For the first time in years, not because of the anxiety and emotional pain but because of the excitement. “What?...I didn’t meet Aziraphale back then in heaven…” he said even something inside him knew what that demon was saying was true.
They did a sound of a little smile even he didn’t have any visible mouth. “Of course you did, you two were always together and clearly in love. Some angels think that was what made you fall but I know it’s not true, because I was there the day you were thrown out of heaven. I tried to comfort Aziraphale for days, but he wouldn’t stop crying and trying to go after you” they lowered their eyes. “He only stopped suffering after his memory was erased”.
Crowley’s mouth fell opened and tears started running through his face. “I...why?...” he mumbled feeling his throat tightening. So that was why, even he was a demon, he loved Aziraphale since the very first time he saw him, apparently again. They could erased his memories but not his feelings. “Why my memory was erased too? By who? I...I don’t remember...I don’t remember Aziraphale, tell me about him, tell me everything...” he asked desperate and then doubting about his few memories from his time in heaven.
The demon’s eyes adopted the form of a smile, pleased to be able to help Crowley to remember, or maybe just to talk to someone. He was sure, being that soft, he wouldn’t be so popular between the rest of the prisoners. “I can tell you many stories about you two, but let me answer your question first” they said and Crowley’s pupils widened with interest. It’s been too long since he has felt a little bit alive, he wanted to hear about Aziraphale, he wanted to hear about a time when they were happily together since it won’t ever happen again. “You did two things that made most of the archangels, and sometimes even goddess, angry.
One of them were asking too many questions, and questioning every decision your superiors, Goddess included, made. You weren’t a regular angel, you were curious and rebel in many senses” the demon talked about Crowley with admiration. “The other thing you did was making jealous of you most of the archangels, because you changed their creations into something so much better and beautiful and every angel, even Metatron admired what you did”. The creature shrugged. “So some of the archangels plotted against you”.
Crowley did a disgusted face. “Of course, those bastards…” he said making an effort to hear what the demon had to say since he was the one asking for that story, but what he really wanted to hear was about Aziraphale.
The demon nodded. “They made your believe they would help you fulfil your curiosity by taking you to a place you would get the answers to your questions. But they brought you to a zone where some demons used to hang out. You were about to leave at first but then, of course, you got curious about them and stayed. They told you interesting stories. I know that because you told me so yourself when you were back”.
“I remember that, I remember I fell because I was hanging out with the wrong people...Metatron caught me the second time I went, and back them, the archangels were voting for every angel’s punishment, and they voted for me to fall, so I did” Crowley said tightening his teeth. He couldn’t remember well who were those archangels who did that to him so he just decided to hate them all. Hypocrite bastards, he always thought everytime he would think about any of them. “Yes” the demon said lowering his eyes. “Some archangels weren’t agree but I think the rest of them blackmailed them for them to vote against you”.
Crowley was about to say something but then the alarm that indicated the end of the free hour sounded. “Fuck, no, no, no, no...you still need to tell me about Aziraphale...please” he begged to the demon, but he knew he had to go or he would be forced to. “I will come back tomorrow, I like talking to you again, Crowley. You haven’t change that much as the rest of fallen do” his eyes narrowed like he was smiled and then stood up to leave. The red haired demon nodded feeling down again, he wanted to hear about his angel, he needed to.
The demon with the primitive form came back the next day to Crowley’s cell as they promised. Crowley spent the whole day nervous, anxious about the meeting. The need of hearing about happier times with his angels was stuck in his chest like a heavy weight that hurted him with every breath. He didn’t sleep that day, he walked around his cell in circles, trying to remember by himself until his head hurted. The demon hadn’t told him who blocked his memory, but he could guess they archangels did so he wouldn’t try to take revenge against him. In Aziraphale’s case, it may have been Goddess, for him not to suffer because he didn’t deserve to. He was sure he was a good angel back then, someone they wanted to keep. What he didn’t understand was why they were put together on earth after the story they shared.
It could only be an almighty deed, a part of her plan, but why did she separated them before like that? He couldn’t understand. It really felt for him like she was just playing dice with every being existence and she has none ineffable plan but a really bad sense of humour.
Crowley received Adirael, that was their demon name he learnt, in his cell with excitement and sat with them during the next two weeks.
Adirael told him, Crowley met Aziraphale the day he had created the first galaxy. The angel saw it from the distance and he wanted to met who did such a beautiful piece of art. “It sounds much as him, ye” the red haired demon said smiling for the first time in those five years.
The creature talked about how fascinated Aziraphale had told him he was about Crowley, or Chasmodai which has been his name as an angel. And how he started to spend more and more time with him, because he made him laugh and taught him the most interesting things. It worried him some of the questions Chasmodai did, but they just made him more interesting to his eyes.
“I remember very well when Aziraphale came to me very worried about your first kiss” Adirael said making the sound of a giggle. “He didn’t know if angels were allowed to kiss each others like demons did and he was afraid you both would be punished”. Crowley’s cheeks blushed. He wished his remembered their very first kiss. He could remember their first kiss as demon and angel, he had thought about it every day for five years, trying to remember the taste and the feeling of Aziraphale’s soft lips, so he would never forget about them.
“Of course I told him it was okay, that any loving action could be wrong between angels and he left feeling relieved. He came back worried again when you did more than kissing after some time, when you had started living together” the creature did another giggling sound and Crowley opened his eyes wide. His cheeks blushed deeper and he cursed himself for not remembering that even it wasn’t his fault.
“What? Did we…? And we...lived together?” the red haired demon grunted and rubbed his face with his hands with frustration. “I want to remember, I need to remember all that! Fucking hell!” he protested.
“I’m sorry you can’t remember...but now you have me, I can tell you everything I know” the demon said and Crowley looked at him feeling really grateful but not knowing how to compensate them. “Thank you, Adirael, I really mean it...thank you” he said sincerely. The demon couldn’t bring him his angel, but he gave him some memories to keep and cherish and they made his life a little more bearable.
Adirael talked about how they would spend mornings in the celestial fields, laying on the fluffy grass and listening Aziraphale playing the arp. He had been so bad at the start but Crowley encouraged him to keep practising and he became really good at it, and everybody enjoyed his music.
They told him, Crowley had created stars for Aziraphale and stellar systems like ‘ Alfa Centauri’ and the angel had told everybody with pride, that those beautiful pieces of art were his, that they were Crowley’s gift for him. The demon barely could held his tears then. He would definitely create stars for Aziraphale, he would do anything for him just if he could.
Many stories were told about Aziraphale and the angel version of Crowley, most of them were romantic and beautiful, they had loved each other freely in heaven and Crowley tried to not think on the fact he just messed everything up. He was the one causing his own falling, even the archangels plotted against him, if he would just had been smarter, he would still be happily living in heaven with Aziraphale, creating stars for him and listening to his music.
But no, he couldn’t fill his mind with guilty thoughts, he needed that time to think about his angel, to picture in his mind those memories he couldn’t remember but he made already his, as they really were. He wanted to remember everything Adirael had told him.
Other stories were funny. It seemed like Aziraphale had the tendency to bring their house every celestial animal he would found around and they always ended up eating their sheets or destroying some furnitures.
Crowley tried to adopt a kerubin just because he looked cute and small, but he ended up being so much ancient than him and get offended at Crowley proposal of taking care of him.
There were stories of Aziraphale getting into troubles even back then and Crowley always rescued him. When Crowley was busy, the angel liked to fly and discover new places but sometimes he was flying too much and wouldn’t have the energy to come back so Crowley had to find him and take him back home. Or he was getting lost and ending up in neutral zones where he would have troubles with demons or other creatures, Crowley always saved him from. He was sure he didn’t care saving his angel as many times as it was needed as he never care when he was a demon. Aziraphale always was an adorable distracted beautiful mess it seemed.
After two weeks, Crowley was waiting impatiently for Adirael like everyday but they didn’t come to his cell. Maybe he got busy, he thought. But then he didn’t appear the next day, neither any other day and Crowley’s heart sunk once again.
He tried to repeat in his mind the last time they saw each other, over and over again, to check if maybe he said something wrong that could have offended the demon. But he didn’t, he mostly remained quiet and Adirael was the one doing the talking, as always. He couldn’t understand it.
One week passed by and the anxiety was eating the red haired demon alive. He felt like an addict in need of his dose of Aziraphale’s stories. He was also worried about Adirael, he wasn’t a bad demon and he had helped him, brought him a bit of his angel, so he didn’t want nothing bad happening to him.
Crowley decided to go out of his cell and look for the demon when the alarm for the free hour sounded. He could notice how the other demons looked at him, some of them even yelled things to him like “Hey, Crowley, where is your angel?”, but he ignored them all, only one demon deserved his attention and he couldn’t find him.
The prison was huge, he knew he wouldn’t have time to walk over the whole place in just one hour so he decided to ask to the guards for Adirael. He had to talk to five of them to finally find one that was willing to answer to him. That guard told him Adirael had been released because he had already served the sentence, so he came back to his regular demon life.
It broke the demon’s heart, or what was left of it. He wouldn’t see him again it seemed and it meant not more stories about his angel, not more memories to recover. Although, it was weird, he thought. Adirael would have told him if it was his last day in the prison, he would have said goodbye, he was nice enough to do so. Maybe something happened to him and the guard just lied, or just didn’t care enough to tell the truth. In any case, it was over.
He didn’t even remember how he came back to his cell because he really felt his whole body and brain turning off again, out of motivation for living.
Crowley came back to his trying to sleep as much as possible routine. While he was awake, he tried to repeat every memory with Aziraphale he had in his brain, tthose he could remember by himself and those Adirael had gave him. But nothing seemed to be enough to put himself together, he felt broken and empty once again.
Fifteen years passed, which was nothing compared with eternity. And Crowley still was just like a shadow of what he used to be, broken and empty.
One day, he felt something was weird in the prison. When his very frustrated torturer was returning him to his cell, Crowley noticed there were not guards around, and the demons in the cells close to his were all sleeping. It was weird to see a demon sleeping but it was even more odd to see a bunch of them doing so.
The guard locked him in his cell and Crowley decided to lay down and ignore the strange situation, whatever happened, it was none of his business and he didn’t care the slightest so he just turned to the wall and closed his eyes to try to sleep.
“Psst, Crowley, wake up” a familiar voice said from outside his cell. The red haired demon thought he was already dreaming so he ignored it but then, a second familiar and very hatred voice sounded.
“Hey, we need to talk” Gabriel said and Crowley turned around not believing he just heard the archangel. He couldn’t be there, he shouldn’t be in there, in demon’s prison.
Gabriel was standing beside Beelzebub outside of the demon cell. They always looked awful for Crowley, but then, they were looked worse than ever. Paler, thinner and the stress was obvious on their faces. “What the fuck are you both doing here?” he asked with a sore throat, he got used to not talk again. Quickly he stood up and approached to the enchanted iron bars to look at them closer, he had to be hallucinating he thought and then he felt his stomach dropping and his blood getting cold. “Has something happened to Aziraphale?!” he asked in sudden panic. It occurred to him they could be there to rejoice his pain when he would heard something horrible had happened to his angel. He may be a human by then, so it was very possible.
Both archangel and demon shook their heads. “No, we are not here to bring bad news to you, we are here to negotiate, and we have gone into a great lot of troubles to be able to be here so we need to be quick and you have to listen” the archangel said with a hint of anxious in his tone and looked at Beelzebub who talked next. “Look, Crowley, we both are doomed, we are under the wings of the worst leaders we could have ever had. And they hate us both so they are making our life useless and impossible” they explained tightening their teeth.
“I’m ordering papers in a room so far from everything that I see nobody during the whole day...nobody recognise me anymore...the great Gabriel...getting forgotten” he pinched the bridge of his nose frustrated.
Crowley arched one of his eyebrows. “And? What does that have to do with me?” he asked already bored of the conversation. He should be trying to kick Gabriel ass to be a stupid incompetent and let Jophiel find them 20 years ago.
“We need your help. We can’t get rid of them by ourselves, Gabriel would fall, and I would be locked down here for the rest of the eternity if not killed by holy water. You already know what’s the sentence for killing another demon” Beelzebub said.
Crowley narrowed his eyes. He understood they were probably going to offer him his freedom in exchange, they wouldn’t have came to him without a proper offer to do. But what he didn’t understand why him, and he didn’t trust them at all, so not matter how good the offer would sound when they would revelate it, he wouldn’t take it just without some answers.
“Why me? Between all the demons and angels that could help you, why me? And how do you expect me to help you to get rid of two celestials creatures that are stronger than me? I thought you guys were smarter” the red haired demon said crossing his arms over his chest.
Beelzebub rolled their eyes and Gabriel sighed. “Because nobody else like us, demon, not anymore, our fuck...our bloody leaders made sure nobody trust us or like us anymore so we won’t try to make a revolution to take our positions back. And you are the only one we can give something in exchange that would assure us none betrayal would be displayed”. Gabriel expression darkened and Crowley tightened his jaw, they better wouldn’t threat him with doing something to Aziraphale, he thought.
But Gabriel and Beelzebub knew they would never have the demon loyalty if they would threat him. He would accept the job and then he would use his tricks to betray them. Crowley was a smart bastard and they both knew so, so no, they didn’t chose the threatening plan. They had to admit they valued it at the begining.
“We will talk about what we can give you in exchange soon. First, how do we expect you to defeat them? Easy. You have something we don’t have, allies in the earth. They are not as powerful as an archangel or a demon, but you already had some ideas of how to get rid of that annoying archangel, didn't you? So you got more than we do” Beelzebub explained.
“Nobody will notice you are gone from prison. Because obviously, we are going to release you”. Gabriel started and Crowley’s heart started to beat fast, after so many years, he could feel his heart again. “So you will also count with the surprise factor, we expect you to use it in your favor”.
“Are you going to cover me as well as you did twenty years ago when you were supposed to have bought some hours for Aziraphale and I to act against Jophiel?” the demon asked looking at Gabriel with all the bitterness he had saved for him.
The archangel raised his eyebrows offended and opened his mouth to defend himself from the demon accusation but Beelzebub took the next turn to speak. “He is not alone now, and you know I’m smarter than any angel, Crowley. Nobody will notice unless they suspect something and thoroughly check on you. If it would happen, we would know and we still would have some time to let you know and act over the new circumstances”. The demon looked at Beelzebub’s eyes in silence during some seconds and then nodded. “Alright, so let’s talk about what I get back. You know what I want and I want it...I…” Crowley lowered his head feeling anxious, and nervous. “I need it in advance…before I start any plan or fight...I can’t...without...” the confession made him feel sick, he knew how vulnerable he may have looked, how pathetic, but he didn’t care, it was the truth, he needed to see Aziraphale to come back to live.
The two ex leaders looked at each other. “We know. How awful you look talks for yourself” said Gabriel raising the corner of his lip in disgust. He still didn’t like the relationship between the angel and the demon, whatever it was.
Crowley snorted. “Have you seen yourself, bastard?”. The archangel was about to protest but Beelzebub interrupted him rolling their eyes again. “We don’t have much time left, so let’s try to not act like human children, you both”. Crowley sticked his snake tongue out to Gabriel and he answered with a disdain face. “We know where Aziraphale is, you will be able to see him, to be with him, to do whatever you need to fix this…” the demon said pointing from his foot to his head. He meant to fix himelf. “And then you will start develop the plan against Hastur and Jophiel. We will keep in touch with you, but you can’t contact us, just wait for us to do it, otherwise, the secret of our alliance will be compromised”.
Crowley heart missed a beat and then started to hammer inside his chest. He couldn’t believe what he just heard, he would be able to see his angel again. “Where is he? Is he alright?” He asked anxious and excited.
Then it was Gabriel’s time to roll his eyes. “He was born as a human in London. Jophiel and Hastur wanted him to be born in another country, a poor one in war we heard, but for some reason, they couldn’t. Probably the almighty still saved some mercy for the angel”. Crowley took a deep breath and couldn’t help but to smile softly. London, Aziraphale loved London so it was good he was born as a human there. “He may be 20 years old by now. We will send you all his information, also the celestial contract for you to sign, once you are out of here”.
Crowley nodded. “Alright, alright, when do I leave?” he wanted to run to the earth already, he couldn’t wait to see his angel again, even he would be a human, and he wouldn’t remember him, he needed to see him, to talk to him.
“We can’t take you with us right now. For it not to be suspicious, just in case someone noticed the lack or guards, or something, we will wait for a month. After a month you will be teleported to the Earth where one of us will receive you for you to sign the contract and receive the angel...I mean...the human location information” The ex demons lord said and then turned to Gabriel. “We should go, time is almost out”. Gabriel looked at them back and Crowley couldn’t but to think they way they looked at each other seemed a bit odd. They weren’t simple allies, they were getting along, they were maybe friends?. That fact disgusted him, how could someone stand Gabriel?
“So that’s it...we will see you in a month” the archangel said and they both were turning around in order to leave when Crowley asked them to wait. “When I return your positions to you...I want you to allow me to live in the Earth, and you have to leave Aziraphale alone, to never hurt him or separate me from him”.
Gabriel sighed and raised one eyebrow. “We already guessed that. It will be on the contract. We won’t want to know anything bloody else about you or Aziraphale after everything is put back to its order anyway, you can be sure of that. We already had enough of you both, believe me…” the archangel said with an annoyed tone and they both disappeared.
Crowley’s pupils widened in excitement. He couldn’t believe it. He wanted to jump or to scream in happiness, but he just sat leaning on the wall instead. He would see his angel. Maybe he would look different, but he didn’t care, he knew he would feel it’s him, he knew he would love him not matter what he was. Human or angel.
Hi ~ Thank you so much for your comments and kudos <3 they make my days! I wanted to write a longer chapter but since I wanted to upload it already, I couldn't, so it didn't end as good as I wanted to but I think you all will enjoy the next chapter :) or I hope so! It won't take long, I promise!
Thank you so much for reading my story <3.
Chapter 10: Angels dreams
Sometimes things get easier for Crowley. Sometimes they just don’t.
The next month was so different from the last years. Crowley recovered little by little his energy and he spent as much as he could training his powers. He knew he couldn’t use them. But he knew there was a way to train them without using them, and it was meditating and concentrating his mind and his soul on them, so he did it everyday, as much hours as he could.
He wanted to get stronger. He would count with his humans allies help, he was sure they wouldn’t refuse helping him, but he couldn’t let everything on their hand, they were humans after all.
Crowley counted every day that passed away and finally the whole month had gone and the day he would be teleported arrived. The demon hadn’t slept for days, the nervousness about seeing his angel again kept his mind too busy to even close his eyes for some minutes not like he needed it anyway, he just got used to do it.
He knew he couldn’t just meet Aziraphale and to talk to him about who he was and what they were. He would be human and his memory would have been erased, again, so he wouldn’t even believe the demon’s words, or would think he was crazy. So Crowley would have to get into his life in a natural way, like they would just meet for the first time somehow, and he would need to earn his trust and friendship again before telling him everything.
The demon knew it was going to be hard for him. After six thousand years being in love with the angel and to not even try to kiss him, everyone would say Crowley was a very patient creature, but the truth was, he didn’t even understand he had those kind of feelings toward Aziraphale for so long. So no, patience wasn’t one of his virtues but he was ready to train it.
The hours passed and the demon hadn’t been teleported so he started to be scared of everything had been a dream or a lie. Although he couldn’t find any reason for Gabriel and Beelzebub to lie to him about that. Maybe they were caught. He thought and he felt his stomach sink feeling sick in consequence.
He thought he was about to lose his mind and to start screaming or to hit the walls, when his sight turned black suddenly and his body felt light like he was floating in a cold place.
When his sight returned he could see the crimson sky after a sunny day of the earth. “Get up, demon, we don’t have the whole day” Gabriel’s voice said sharply and Crowley leaned up looking at him and Beelzebub before looking around him. They were in a discrete part of St James’ park which made Crowley’s heart start beating hard and fast with excitement. It had happened, he was on earth, he was on his favourite park where he had met his angel so many times.
“Contract” said Beelzebub handing the demon a glowing paper with everything they had been talking about a month ago, written down in a pristine hand writing obviously made by Gabriel. So Beelzebub trusted the archangel to do so, interesting, the demon thought.
Crowley readed the whole paper carefully. It didn’t see to have any trap on it, any small lyrics, everything was crystal clear which made him think how desperate those two may had been to do such of a deal. The demon signed with his finger on fire, like he liked to do, he thought it was stylish and very appropriate for a demon, and gave Beelzebub the paper back. “Good, and as we promised, here you have the whole information about Aziraphale” Gabriel said giving him a black folder, clearly coming from Beelzebub since it was dirty and damaged. “You better don’t take long on starting the plan. If something happen to us, or we get caught the contract will be destroyed, and obviously, they will know you are not longer where you should be, Crowley” Beelzebub said.
“In other words, put your bloody self together quickly, and don’t waste our time” the archangel added coldly and Crowley made a face to him.
“I know, all clear, let us return to our business then” the demon with red hair said dying to read the information about Aziraphale so he could plan where and how to meet him. “Just one last thing, we had teleported you here because Aziraphale usually spend his evenings around here, reading” Crowley looked at them surprised, why would they do that for him? And Gabriel seemed to catch Crowley’s confusion. “We weren’t trying to be nice to you or something, we won’t ever support your whatever relationship with Aziraphale, we just wanted to hurry things up, that’s all, right?” the archangel looked a Beelzebub but they didn’t nod or said anything, they just kept looking at Crowley’s eyes with a stoic expression.
Crowley frowned, he had to be wrong but a part of him thought for a moment, Beelzebub didn’t completely agree with Gabriel. Did they deep down support his relationship with Aziraphale? Why? No, it couldn’t be, it has to be something else he wasn’t understanding, he knew well his ex-leader but he had always found them not easy to read since they didn’t barely express anything with their face or body. “We should get going. We will contact you and remember, don’t ever try to contact us, not matter what. It could put an end of all of us” the not longer demon’s leader said. Gabriel nodded and sighed, he clearly wasn’t comfortable with the plan but he also knew he hadn’t another choice.
The demon nodded and watched them turn around and walk away but then he remembered a question he had for Gabriel that had been stuck in his mind for days after they visited him in the demon’s prison. “Hey, Gabriel, hold on!” the demon said stepping closer to them. The archangel and the superior demon turned back to look at him. “Were you one of the bastards that made me fall? From heaven?” he asked, it wasn’t like it would change anything, it would just add more hatred for that archangel, but as long as he would have his angel back and they would be left in peace, he had not intention to take any revenge or action against those who transformed him into a demon. He blamed himself the most anyway.
Gabriel frowned and looked at Beelzebub who shrugged to him. Another little gesture Crowley found odd, there was obvious complicity between them.
“What are you talking about? I, luckily, didn’t even meet you in heaven, didn’t even hear about you. I learnt you were an angel and your angelic name once I knew about you as a demon, but not before. Don’t you dare to lose your mind now” he said raising his eyebrows and pointing at him. “You have the most important task to do in your hands” they turned around and started walking away again. “I’m the archangel Gabriel...why would have I had something to do with a random angel like he was?” Crowley heard the archangel say to Beelzebub and he believed, he saw them turning to Gabriel and smiling which was the most odd thing he had ever seen.
Adirael told him the archangels had to vote, he didn’t mention if all the archangels had to do so, but Crowley guessed the falling of an angel should at least be considered by all of them. So or he was wrong and Gabriel wasn’t really there. Or someone lied to him, Adirael or Gabriel. If he was asked, he would say he prefered Gabriel lied to him but it sounded unlikely. The archangel was many things but he didn’t prove to be a liar.
The demon shook his head, it wasn’t the time to think about the past but about the future, so he sat on the ground and opened the folder.
Aziraphale new name seemed to be Zira Fell. He was twenty and he would be 21 on 27th of March, he was a tauro. He studied literature in the University of London and worked in a bookshop close to the St James park, that’s why he spend almost every evening reading in a bench there after working. Crowley wondered if he would be sitting on their bench.
Zira Fell lived in 17A Idonia street, Deptford, which Crowley knew well it wasn’t a very good neighbourhood. So he definitely wasn’t born in a family with resources, or he hadn’t many resources himself. It worried Crowley, Aziraphale had been a snob about many things, specially wine and food. He knew he would be different if he would grow up in a different situation and he wouldn’t even miss what he hadn’t known. But it still made him feel sad.
The papers didn’t say so much more and the demon felt disappointed. He thought they would told him absolutely everything about his angel, but it seemed like his new allies didn’t put much effort on getting the information so they just got the basics.
Crowley stood up and changed his clothes miraculously, to tight black jeans, dark grey shirt with a triangle neck and a black jacket. Very similar to how he used the dress the last time he was on earth. He also made appear his last sunglasses, which had been his favourite over all the years, and made his hair look combed and nice as it used to be.
He also changed a bit his look, he made himself look a bit younger so he would be able to sneak in Aziraphale’s university and pretend to be just another student. That idea annoyed him, he would have never choose literature to study, if he would have wanted to study anything, he would have picked up something like engeenery so he could build cool stuff, or something related with technology. But well, he would do whatever it was needed to be around his angel turned into human.
The demon had thought about the possibility of approaching him in the park, he would just look for him and even if he would look different, he knew he would feel him, sense him, and Gabriel and Beelzebub seemed to be aware about that too since they didn’t include a picture or a physical description of him. But it would be a weird interaction, what would he say without being too weird? Without scaring him? So he decided he would just look for him and watch him in the distance to convince himself, he was truly there, and he would meet him at the campus. Just the thought of it made his heart hammer in his chest so he started walking feeling more nervous than ever.
As is became a custom, Crowley walked without noticing to the bench he and Aziraphale used to sit on, he had to walk to somewhere anyway, Zira could be anywhere in the park. When he was just a few metres away from the bench, his heart missed a beat and his whole body froze. It couldn’t be, it was impossible, he thought, looking at the young man sat there. He had very light blonde curls, a cute pointed nose and thin lips. He was reading a book in old fashioned clothes. They looked old and very used but also perfectly clean and ironed. Zira was wearing a white buttoned shirt which neck was decorated by a faded mustard yellow and brown bow. He wore light brown pants and jacket and a darker brown waistcoat.
It was him. He looked just younger but the rest of him looked exactly the same as the angel he was in love with. Same face, same body, same old fashioned style he hated and loved so much at the same time. It wasn't like he was going to love him less if he was completely different, or if he had another gender. Crowley would love him the same not matter what kind of human body and gender he would have got.
He felt his eyes filling with tears of joy and it took every hint of control he had to not run to him and hug him. Some people that passed by, looked at him, he was froze in the middle of the way and looking straight with a shaked expression, of course people noticed him and of course Zira felt observed at some point. The young man turned to him and their eyes met. Crowley felt his heart would explode and looked away immediately and kept walking to the way at his right, straight to the river like he was going to see the ducks. He walked like his legs and arms were made of wood, his whole body was shaking and it was like he forgot how to move.
He felt like Zira kept staring at him, maybe asking himself why a weird guy was looking at him like that. He had fucked it up, he would have to find an explanation for when they would meet.
Crowley was that focused on cursing himself that he didn't notice Zira walked to him. "Hello" he said with Aziraphale's voice and the demon felt like collapsing. He looked to his side and found his smile, his shy cute one he knew very well.
"I don't mean to bother you, It's just...you looked troubled, and I have never seen you around here so I presume you are a foreign, are you lost? Do you need help?" the human asked softly and Crowley looked at him absolutely in shock and with his face absolutely red. He still had his angel heart, he had kept so much more than his physical appearance. The demon was freaking out internally, he felt his legs like jelly and he had to lean over the fence, otherwise he thought he would fall or faint or something like that.
"I...I...no...I mean...I'm not from here, I just moved but I'm not lost, I think, I am not, I just…" he didn't really know what to say to explain his weird behavior. He could say he was on drugs but as much as he remembered of humans, being on drugs wasn't something everybody found right.
"Oh, I'm glad then. I hope you enjoy London, It's a great city" Zira smiled. "Oh!" he looked for something inside his coat pocket and stretched his arm to give it to Crowley. "Here you have, some crushed pieces of bread to feed the ducks". The demon opened his hand and the human put there the duck's food. His fingers touched Crowley's hand in the process and the demon felt that annoying ticklish feeling inside his stomach. He wanted to thank him, to say something else but he couldn't, he was too overwhelmed by the situation so he just nodded and Zira smiled to him again.
"Have a good evening" he said kindly and walked away, not to their bench but in another direction, probably to his house. Crowley stood there looking at him until he disappeared. He couldn't believe what just happened, it was his angel, in a real human body, but it was him, the whole him...and the fact that he was sitting on their bench could mean something. It has to mean something, it couldn't just be causality, he knew casualty didn't exist.
Crowley put himself together and started walking out of the park, he hadn't his Bentley so he would have to take a cab to home. Because yes, his house had to still be where he left it, he had miraculously purchased for it and every taxe and paying that had to be made, was programmed to be miraculously made even he wasn't around. And his Bentley, his beloved and adored car, may still be waiting for him inside his garage.
Although, he would have lost his plants, he had nothing miraculously programmed for them since he liked to take care of them by himself and if he wasn't there, he was doing it from the distance with his powers. But of course he couldn't do it from prison, and truth be told, his only thought has been Aziraphale, he hadn't thought about his plants or anything else.
He arrived to his house and it seemed like time haven't passed, and he just left to save Aziraphale from Jophiel just the previous day. Except for his plants, they were all dead as he expected but it only took one demonic miracle to bring them alive again. He watered them while he started working on the demonic miracles he would need for the next day.
Anthony J. Crowley had to appear in the students list of the University as a new student. They would need some records of him that he of course invented, like his good grades from his previous university or his parents names.
He also had to make sure the spot beside Aziraphale would be free for him in all the lessons and that for some reason, Zira would sit in the last lines. He was sure he was one of those appearing in the classrooms earlier to get the first lines spots, just in front of the professors, but he didn't want to be there, he wanted to talk to Zira without being noticed by the professor or without Zira worrying about being caught. He was sure he would worry about that.
Crowley couldn't sleep that night even he finally had his huge fluffy bed. So many things happened inside his mind. He was worried about the plan to get rid of Hastur and Jophiel, he wanted to be with Zira, to earn his trust, friendship and more if he could, but he couldn’t forget about his mission or he would be put back in that cell and he would never be able to see his angel again.
He was also worried about Zira, he was a human, it means he won’t be immortal anymore and he didn’t like that since he would have to live the rest of the eternity without him when his human life would come to an end. He would have to find a solution to that, he thought.
Worrying about if that demon lied to him about his past or not was stupid, and he knew it. Neither he or Zira would ever remember their angelic past anymore and what mattered what the present, and the future. But he couldn’t help to think about all that too. If it was true he and Aziraphale had been happily living together in heaven, he wanted to remember, he wanted every little single memory of that.
The next morning, he left early to make sure he could find a good place to park his beloved Bentley and took a walk around the campus to get familiar with it.
It was a boring place full of boring people in his opinion, and he was already desperate for the hour of their first class would start. Zira was supposed to be late and forced to sit beside Crowley at the end of the class which made the waiting even longer.
The classroom was already full, and the demon took his position, looking at the door anxiously, desperate to see Zira appearing. Some students tried to talk to him because he was the new guy, but he just made them miraculously busy so suddenly that they would just apologize and run to their seats. Crowley liked humans, he didn’t mind to talk to most of them, but he wasn’t in the mood for little talks, his whole concentration was on the door.
Crowley almost jumped when he saw Zira coming in. He looked very stressed and when he saw the room crowded he made a face that clearly said how disappointed he was on himself for over sleeping. The demon felt immediately bad, but it faded away as soon as their eyes met. Zira looked shocked for a moment, but then he smiled and walked to sit beside him.
“Oh, hello, you...you are the St James’ park boy, right? What...what a coincidence!”.
The demon was shaking internally but tried to act normal this time so Zira wouldn’t think he is a weirdo or a psycho. “Oh, ye, I never thought I’d see you again”. The human smiled and Crowley’s heart melted, how much he had needed that smile.
“Me neither. So...oh, hold on, where are my manners? My name is Zira Fell” he said offering the demon his hand to shake.
Crowley looked at it like he was offering him a diamond, and after a few awkward seconds, he shook it blushing, feeling the warmth of Zira’s hand that he knew very well. “Anthony J. Crowley...call me Crowley, everybody calls me that...well, no here, I just moved, I mean in my home city, country! In my country…” the demon was obviously very nervous but it seemed to amuse Zira, probably he was thinking he was just shy.
“Can I ask where did you come from?”
“I came from Edinburgh, Scotland” the demon said sensing how the teacher was entering. It meant they wouldn’t be able to talk much more until the resting time after the two hours of horribly boring lesson.
“That’s nice, I’m sure it’s a very nice place...oh, Professor Doulis is already here”. Zira hurried to get a notebook and a pencil case from his shabby brown briefcase. Crowley observed most of the students were opening their laptops or tablet, so it seemed like this human Aziraphale wasn’t a good friend with technology either and it made him smile.
“Didn’t you bring anything to take notes?” the human asked getting closer to the demon so he could whisper. Crowley shook his head. Fuck, he had made a mental note to bring some kind of backpack or something with at least a tablet to pretend taking notes, but he totally forgot about it because of his nervous state. Zira smiled, tore some pages from his notebook, took a pen from his pencil case and gave them to Crowley. “I can share this with you. Let me know if you need more pages, okay?”. The demon nodded “thank you” he whispered and Zira smiled to him again before turning his head to the teacher.
He had definitely kept his angel heart, he was so nice, so good and so adorable, and Crowley couldn’t stop staring at him until Zira turned to him suddenly and he had to pretend he was looking something else. His face turned red once again. “Excuse me, just...a little advice if you may allow me…” he smiled nervously. “Maybe you should take off your sunglasses, Professor Doulis is very strict about hats or sunglasses in the room” he said making a worried expression.
“Oh, don’t worry, he won’t say anything to me” and he made miraculously sure he wouldn’t notice his sunglasses. “I need to wear sunglasses because of a condition I have on my eyes. Every teacher already know. So it’s okay” Crowley explained and tried to give him a little smile, but it didn’t happen. He hadn’t thought about his eyes. It was something he couldn’t really change not matter what form he would adopt, but he should have bought or miraculously got color lenses or something like that. Of course he didn’t have the time to think about it and even the sunglasses covered them, if you were close enough, you could see they weren’t very human-like ones, so Zira would have already noticed them.
“I see, I’m glad they understood and I’m sorry about your condition” he said looking at his eyes with curiosity before smiling and turning to the teacher again. The human didn’t look scared or disgusted about his eyes, just curious but too shy to ask. So probably the condition excuse would work.
The demon didn’t know how he made it through that two hours or pure torture. Reading a book was already boring for him, but hearing about people that wrote books was way worse. On the contrary, every time he was looking at Zira, which was every 5 minutes, the human looked absolutely interested on what the teacher said. He took pages and pages of notes so Crowley never found the right moment to even do a little comment to him to catch his attention, he was absolutely into the lesson.
The next lessons, they would sit in front of the teacher, he thought. There was not point on making Zira suffer if they wouldn’t be able to talk. He also seemed to have some troubles to see the digital blackboard. The human had put on a pair of glasses when the teacher switched the blackboard, but they looked very old fashioned as well as they looked old and scratched. Zira was narrowing his eyes and obviously struggling to see the screen.
It made crowley think, the man probably didn’t have much money since he was using those glasses. The anger burnt inside him, he couldn’t wait to hear from Zira what kind of life those idiots gave him even he knew it would just make him angrier at them.
When finally the lesson finished Crowley looked at Zira relieved and the human looked at him smiling, delighted. “How wonderful lessons, spanish authors are really interesting, don’t you think?” the demon nodded. He hadn’t even been aware the teacher were talking about spanish literature authors. "I think my favourite was Nuria Amat, what about yours?" Crowley raised his eyebrows and he did exactly what he was used to do when Aziraphale did those kind of questions about the operas they went to see, or the speeches or those such of things he found boring. "Oh! The same...she was great". The human smiled wide satisfied with Crowley's answer.
“Well, let’s go to our latin lesson, I guess you have it too, right?”.
“Yes, I do, I have all the main subjects, so yes, would you mind if I would walk with you to the classroom? I have no idea where it is” Crowley said taking the paper and the pen Zira lended him, he would have to pretend to take notes at some point, maybe it would help him to not fall asleep. “Of course, dear! In fact, I could show you around after lunch if you would want to”.
Crowley’s heart flushed and he couldn't help but to smile. “I’d love to, angel”.
Zira looked at him arching his eyebrows. “Angel?” he asked grabbing his briefcase to start walking out of the classroom.
The demon’s face turned red, it was so natural for him to call him angel, that he didn’t realise he did. “I...I’m sorry, it’s just...something I’m used to say...like a tagline...or something, I’m sorry, it won’t happen again…” he said standing up.
Aziraphale smiled and shook his head. “It’s okay, dear, I like it, I think it’s very cute. I just have never been called angel” he giggled and Crowley calmed down, he won’t have to worry about letting that escape. ‘If you would know…’ Crowley thought when Zira said he had never been called angel.
During the way to the next classroom, Zira talked to Crowley about the next teacher and how much he loved the subject. He really looked excited about it and the demon enjoyed his smile and his energy. He always did. Aziraphale had talked to him about a billion things he wasn’t into at all or didn’t interest him, but he always enjoyed the angel talking about them anyway because of how happy and passionate about them he looked and sounded.
The next two hours have been just the same and Crowley thought he would really fall asleep at some point, but he didn't. Luckily, the teacher asked them to do some exercises and Zira immediately paired with him. It made Crowley extremely happy but also worried. Nobody in the classroom made a single effort to pair with Zira, and he had notice nobody has talked to him at any moment, but some of them tried to talk to him just when he arrived.
Zira was probably the less popular student, did it mean he was lonely? That he didn’t have a single friend?
Crowley wouldn’t deny it gave him opposite feelings. In one hand, he was happy, he didn’t want to share him with anyone, but in other hand, it meant the human probably would feel lonely and he didn’t like that.
“Since you have came after the teacher explained this part of the verbs grammar, I can explain it to you if you want, it’s easy” the human said and started explain it to the demon. He didn’t need any explanation, he miraculously put everything he needed to know in his brain, but he let Zira to explain it to him and then he did his part perfectly, surprising the human.
“Wow, you really understood it very fast. It took me more than one read to understand it, it’s impressive” he said smiling at him and Crowley gave him a cocky smile in return. He wanted Zira to like him, and he didn’t have 6000 years this time so if he had to cheat, he would do so.
Lunch time arrived faster than he thought. Working with Zira in the exercises has been fun, but not because of the exercises, of course, but because he was expending time with him and enjoying his motivation.
They walked to the cafeteria, the human wanted to show him where it was but Crowley really expected them to eat together so if Zira wouldn’t suggest it, he was ready to do it himself. “I know an amazing spot in the garden with a nice view. Would you like to join me, dear?” the human said and the demon smiled wide. “Of course, just let’s buy our lunch” he looked at the menus, any of them looked tasty to him but he would have to pick one. “I always bring my own lunch, we can share it if you want” the human said blushing slightly.
It was weird, nobody would offer to share their lunch with someone they just met. Zira was too good, maybe that’s why he didn’t have people around. Humans weren’t exactly friendly to too good people, Crowley had learnt. “I really appreciate it, but I think I will try that chicken and potatoes, we can share both” he said already walking to buy his lunch “Ow, that’s so nice of you”.
Crowley made people disappear from the line miraculously so he got his food really quickly. It was easy to survive in the humans world with Zira. Aziraphale would have noticed and reprimanded him for making too many miracles to indulge himself.
Once he got his tray, they started walking to the garden.
“So, you can cook? Or...you have someone who cook?” Crowley asked while they walked, impatient to know more details about his angel, his human.
Zira shook his head smiling. “I don’t have anyone cooking for me and I...well, I try to learn how to cook” he chuckled shily. “I’m not very good at it, but I really have to. I can’t afford to buy lunch everyday in the cafeteria” he said smiling, always smiling. “But I think what I did for today, turned out okay, so you can try it”.
Crowley hated that his suspicion turned out to be true.
“I’m sure it will be tasty. Do you live alone?” He could feel how Zira tensed up a bit. Delicate topic, but he still smiled.
“Yes, I do. I don’t have parents, I grew up in an orphan” he answered and the demon could see how some unpleasant memories appeared inside his head. Even he was smiled, his eyes turned sad and Crowley tightened his teeth, he was getting more and more, and more reasons to get rid of those bastards.
“I’m sorry about that” the demon said trying to hide his anger. “It is okay, every experience brings you amazing things” Zira smiled to him. “What about you?”.
“I live alone too, but I have parents, they live in Edinburgh, I just wanted a change of air”.
“That’s nice, it’s nice you came here, I hope you like it...oh, look! It’s there!” He said pointing at a big tree. Under it there was fluffy grass which brought to Crowley’s mind the memory of the fluffy grass in heaven he had pictured from Adirael’s stories.
The human took a thin blanket from his briefcase and placed it on the ground. “I’m always prepared for sunny days, which aren’t very common around here” he chuckled. “I’m sorry it isn’t so big, I’m the only one using it, but I think we may fit in, let’s try” he said sitting, leaving some space for the demon. Crowley didn’t mind how close they would have to sit from each other at all, so he sat happily beside his human. Their shoulders were touching but none of them seemed to care.
Zira took a plastic container from his briefcase and a little box with the cutteries inside. He opened the container and Crowley could see just rice with carrot inside. His stomach sunk. That was a really cheap meal.
“It doesn’t look that bad, does it? Do you still want to try it?” Zira said offering him the rice container and his folk. “Of course, it looks delicious” the demon lied, as he lied about the taste which was almost nonexistent, but the lie made the human smile wide, of course he believed him.
Crowley put the half of his chicken and potatoes in Zira’s rice box. “Dear, but this is too much...you will eat nothing!” he protested frowning worried.
Crowley shook his head. “It’s more than okay, I usually don’t eat much, believe me, please, eat it, otherwise it will be wasted”. Zira blushed. “Okay, thank you so much”.
They started to eat in silence, as they did when they were an angel and a demon. Aziraphale liked to enjoy every bite of his food and so did Zira, even the food wasn’t that good, or that expensive.
“Can I tell you something weird without you getting scared of me?” Zira asked suddenly and Crowley looked at him. “Of course, angel”.
“Angel…” the human said softly. “I could totally get used to it, yes…” he smiled wide to the demon and then lowered his head to what was left of his food.
“I think...I mean...I’m pretty sure...I remember it very clear…” he chuckled nervously. “I...have dreamt with you...during my whole life. I have had some very vivid dreams sometimes and...you were there...sometimes you looked just like you looked when I saw you in the park...and other times...you looked a bit older” he looked shily to the demon to check on his expression.
Crowley’s heart started to beat fast and his mouth had fell opened in surprise. “I...I mean…” the human lowered his head nervously. “Of course it wasn’t you, I didn’t know you, but...the person in my dreams was really similar…isn’t it interesting?”.
Crowley felt like he could faint. He remembered him, somehow he did, he hadn’t forgotten about him completely. The demon felt his eyes heavy but he couldn’t let any tear fall down, it would be weird and it would probably scare Zira, he had to keep them inside his eyes. So he just lowered his head. “I had dreamt my whole life about you too...that was kind of the reason I was freaking out in the park…”. This time it was Zira’s turn to look at him absolutely shocked. “Really? Aren’t you...making fun of me?”.
Crowley shook his head not looking at him, if he would look at him he would do something stupid like kissing him of hugging him.
“So that’s why it’s so easy for me to talk to you, I...nobody has ever been around me more than a while...but you...this is so weird...it’s like I’ve known you from so long…”. Zira said looking at him astonished. “I feel the same, Zira” crowley said finally looking at him.
He was lying, he knew so, but he couldn’t tell him all the truth just like that, and he had to fulfill his mission first. If he would fail, Zira would be left alone with all that information in his head, he would think maybe Crowley just made fun of him and left. He couldn’t allow that to happen.
“Maybe we are meant, destined to be friends” the human said excited. “Well...I’m sorry, I didn’t even ask you if you want to be my friend first...maybe it’s too soon” he stroked the back of his neck shily.
“I want to be your friend” Crowley quickly answered. “I don’t know what dreaming about each other may mean, but it certainly mean something. I don’t believe in casualties, and even I would, this would be too much causality, don’t you think?”.
Zira nodded smiling. “I don’t believe in casualties either, and you are right” he made a little cute victory sound. “So I just got my first friend!”.
“First?” Crowley asked catching the right opportunity to ask about it.
“Yes, I haven’t had a friend before. I think I’m a little bit weird for people…” he shrugged. “I hope you don’t find me too weird too after some days” he chuckled nervously and clearly anxious. Crowley shook his head. “If you are weird, I’m a weirdo myself, so...I think we fit perfectly” the demon smiled and Zira smiled back. “You don’t look like a weirdo to me...I think you look pretty cool…” he turned to his food blushing.
“Thanks, angel, you too” Zira didn’t answer, he just ate his food with his cheeks still blushing.
Everything was going way easier than Crowley thought. The fact that Zira remembered him gave him hope, he said he felt like he had known him from so long, so that’s why he was being that good and opened to him. It was saving him a lot of time and work trying to be his friend because the human already wanted to be his friend and trusted him.
He felt his heart flushing, he would have his angel back soon, their relationship was safe, it had never disappeared not matter how hard their enemies tried. They always found each other again, and they had always find a way to remember. Nobody would ever get them away from each other again, the demon thought.
After lunch, Zira shown Crowley around as he promised, explaining him many things about the campus history and construction details the demon didn’t care about, but again, as always, he let him talk about them and enjoyed his enthuthiasm.
Then the next lessons were over before Crowley noticed and he wasn’t ready to part away from his angel after those long years without him.
“Hey, eh...Zira…” he started rubbing the back of his neck while the human was packing everything back into his briefcase. “What if...could I tempt you to a cup of tea and a piece of cake somewhere nice I know?”.
Zira looked at him raising his eyebrows and blushed. “Oh...wow…” he smiled nervously and played with his hands. “I’m very easy to tempt to whatever related to cakes but...I’m afraid I can’t, I have to work in 45 minutes” Zira said lowering his face, it seemed like he would have really liked to spend more time with Crowley.
The demon looked down. “Alright, I understand” he couldn’t hide the disappointment in his tone.
“Oh, but...perhaps...on friday? I have some free weekends since I only work part time” Zira said and the demon looked at him widening his eyes. Was it a date? No, he couldn’t over do it, of course it wasn’t a date, they just met, well, that’s what Zira thought at least. “It sounds great. Oh...I could drive you to your job if you want instead”. The demon wouldn’t give up, he didn’t want to leave his angel just then, he couldn’t.
Zira looked at him surprised. “You have a car?”
“I don’t have a car, I have THE car, come on, I will give you a lift, angel” he said making his way out of the classroom and Zira followed him still amazed.
“Wow...I would have never imagined someone as young as you would have this kind of car” his cheeks blushed. “But it fits you. In the other hand I can’t imagine you with any other car” the human said walking around the machine and looking at it amazed.
“Thank you” the demon said smiling and opened the door for Zira. The human thanked him and entered inside the front seat and his body immediately tensed and his eyebrows frowned.
Crowley notice as soon as he entered in the car. “There’s something wrong?”
Zira turned his head to him slowly. “I just...felt like...I had been here before, many times in fact. Like a kind of dejavu? But way more intense…” the human placed his hand on his chest and looked around the car absolutely shocked.
The demon couldn’t be happier. He didn’t like to see Aziraphale confused and a bit scared like he looked just then, but he couldn’t help but to be absolutely delighted about him remembering the Bentley. “We were somehow destined to meet, remember? So...don’t worry, it does has to do with it for sure” the demon said starting the engine.
Zira looked at him smiling. “You have to be right…”.
Crowley was about to start driving to the bookshop where he knew the human worked but then Zira, as considerate as always, told him without him asking. The demon was so grateful because otherwise would have been hard to explain why he knew where the human worked when they just met.
This time, Crowley tried his best to drive under the right speed so he wouldn’t get Zira scared, also to have more time with him. “So do you really believe in those things? Like...the dream we have had about each other and...what I felt when I entered in your car?” Zira asked suddenly.
“Well, I kinda do, but just because life has proven me there’s more behind what we can see. Don’t you?”.
“Partly. I like to think of myself as a very logical person and...the fact that I was raised by no so kind priests killed most of my hopes of...something else being there, you know? Although, that dream really makes me doubt about many things” he chuckled. “Why would I dream with someone I didn’t even know? It’s...it’s crazy...and then this car...and how comfortable I feel with you…”. Crowley looked at him with the corner of his eyes. Zira was blushing. “I don’t know, Crowley, I don’t know...I won’t deny I’m very confused about all this”.
That was a bad new. Zira didn’t believe completely in supernatural forces, so how was Crowley supposed to explain him everything? Of course he would have proves. He will be able to just display his wings and to show him. He could show him piece of his memory too and he would have to believe. But probably he will get more confused and scared than anything at the moment. Well, he would figure it out.
“I just don’t think much about them. I know I dreamed with you during years and now you are here, beside me, in my car. And I know I feel comfortable with you too, which is not common at all, so...I don’t care about anything else. I will care when I have to” Crowley said and Zira looked at him with admiration.
“That’s a very smart way to live indeed. I shouldn’t worry or over think it either, just to enjoy it” the human turned to the window smiling and Crowley smiled as well.
Soon Zira was thanking the demon and getting out of his car to head to the bookshop. Crowley thought about waiting for him to lift him to his house but then he changed his mind. Maybe it would be too much, he couldn’t overwhelm him or it wouldn’t matter how hard their connection was, he would get tired of him, or angry at him. The angel version of him never stood angry for so long and he was very cute when he got angry, but he had not idea about the human one.
The demon returned to his house having a mix of feelings. He felt empty without Aziraphale, without Zira, and the same time happy and excited about the next day. But he was also worried, he couldn’t put aside the mission Beelzebub and the annoying archangel gave him, or everything would be over for him. And he also had to figure something out about the problem of Aziraphale being a human. He sighed deeply. He had too much to do.
That evening, Zira was a little bit distracted, and smiling more than usual. His boss, an old woman who loved books almost as much as he did, noticed it.
“Did something good happened at the university, Zira? You look sparkling”.
The human blushed smiling while he ordered some books in one of the several shelves of the shop. “Well, I met someone”.
Miss Shadwell opened his eyes and mouth in surprise. “Really? Oh dear, finally! How is he? Is he handsome?” she asked excited and Zira lowered his head shily. “Oh, he is...but...don’t think it that way, I...we just met, he wants to be my friend, I don’t think he is into boys”.
“Oh dear, who wouldn’t be into someone as cute and handsome as you?” she caressed Zira’s cheek and he blushed more. “What’s his name?”.
“A-Anthony J Crowley”.
Miss Shadwell frowned for a moment, that name sounded very familiar to her, really familiar.
Oh stars...I'm so sorry about this chapter. I the one I hate the most of all of them, and you know I don't like many of them >_<. My life got complications and I think my mind just couldn't funtion to write and yet I forced myself to do so.
I hope you don't die of boredom and, as always, I will try to do it better on the next chapter!
Thank you so much for reading me, for commenting and for your kudos <3. All your support mean the world to me, thank you <3 *hugs*.
Chapter 11: Demons are impatient creatures
The steps Crowley thought were undone with the lost of the memory of his angel, are being walked forward quickly.
Zira couldn’t stop thinking about Crowley the rest of what was left of the day. He never understood why that person appeared in his dreams, and he was not mistaken, it was him, it was Anthony J. Crowley. Everytime he had dreamed with him, they have been vivid dreams when he could feel and see every detail, so he has saw his face with every detail, even listened to his voice just as it was.
It broke the skepticism he had about every kind of supernatural matter. But it seemed like that wasn’t the only thing Crowley broke.
Zira had been very naive his whole life and it made it easy for people to take advantage of him more times than he could even count. One of that times, he got involved in a really ugly situation he was still trying to get out of, so since that situation started, he promised himself he would keep people away from him, because he didn’t want to put them in any risk.
Truth be told, he had never been specially popular or good with people, but he used to have some mates he could talk about the books they readed or to drink a cup of tea from time to time.
But Crowley, what could he do with him? Since the very first moment he saw him, he had felt the need to talk to him, to be close to him. It was a feeling he had never felt before and that he couldn’t control. He knew he had to put Crowley away but he also knew he wouldn’t be able to and those dreams just made the situation even worse. They may be somehow destined to meet, why would have he been dreaming about an unknown person since he could remember, and then that person just appeared in his life? It has to be for a reason.
Zira felt stupid for thinking about those things, but he felt stupid avoiding them too, what if he would miss something for closing that door?
The human couldn't get much sleep that night, he was excited and nervous about meeting Crowley the next day.
He always thought he had a crush on the person with red hair of his dreams. Zira had always felt lonely except when he was dreaming with that person. So he thought, and believed, that it was just as when lonely kids had imaginary friends, but his imaginary friend was only in his dreams, and as he grew up, that friend became something else. But it sounded absolutely stupid to him so he tried so hard to not even think about it, because grown up people shouldn’t have crushes on delusional persons. But then Crowley was real and he couldn’t ignore those feelings anymore, they just escape from the place he carefully locked them during the years, and were running without any control all over his heart and mind.
Crowley didn’t do any better the rest of the day. He tried to concentrate on his mission but the only thing he could get done, was the letters he sent to his humans allies. They would miraculously reach every of them.
It has been a while, but I’m sure I’m not anyone you would forget. I may be in need of your precious help once again, so please, answer this letter back if you are still alive and I will give you instructions.
Don’t bother bringing it to any mail post, your answers will miraculously come to me.
Please, answer me ASAP, and do it with style.
Anthony J. Crowley.
The demon simply hated writing those letters, he hated writing in general, he didn’t understand why people still did it when they had every sort of amazing devices for it. But he couldn’t take the risk to contact them by their phones, or social medias since he hadn’t been in control of them for 20 years. Maybe nobody was controlling them anymore, none of the other demons were interested the sightless on the human technology, just the opposite, but Jophiel had seemed kind of fluent with them.
He miraculously sent the letters and felt a little bit of relief. If Beelzebub and Gabriel would appear next day for him to report them his progressing, he would have something to tell them. Also he had to wait for his human allies to answer him and to meet with them for displaying any plan. So he had his back covered for the moment and he could concentrate on Aziraphale.
It made him smirk how bad Jophiel and Hastur had failing trying to make the angel forget about him. Zira had been dreaming with him all those years, and because of it, he felt close to Crowley even, theoretically, they just met. It filled his chest with that feeling he finally dared to put a name many years ago, love. Aziraphale loved him and there wasn’t any better proof of it than that, his soul couldn’t forget about him, and couldn’t stop feeling close to him.
The next day, the demon had to miraculously dress a different outfit from the previous day which didn’t annoy him at all, he loved humans clothes and changing them like they did.
He picked up the same style tho. Tight black trousers, black boots, but this time, he just chose a tight dark grey buttoned shirt, not jacket, since the weather seemed to be not too cold yet. He wondered what Zira would wear, he had seen Aziraphale with the same outfit for years, so he thought seeing him with a different one was exciting.
Crowley parked at the first line of the campus parking because it miraculously has got emptied for him and when he got out of the car he heard that cute voice he adored beside him.
“Good morning, Crowley, how are you?”
The demon turned around and found Zira smiling to him. Did he walk to the parking to meet him? The main entrance to the building was somewhere else.
“Hey, angel. I’m…” his eyes went from his toes to his head, examining how cute he looked. He was wearing light brown trousers, a white shirt without a waistcoat this time. And the same bow and jacket from the previous day, he probably only owned those. “...fine, I’m glad to see you. What about you?”.
Zira seemed to had noticed how Crowley looked at him so he lowered his head blushing and smiling. The thing was, Crowley didn’t know, the human had given him the same thorough examination just a few seconds ago, not being able to help giving a stare at how well those trousers fitted Crowley’s thin legs and very fine backside.
“Same” Zira said with a shy smile and looked how Crowley grabbed a very stylish man bag from the back seat before locking his car. It seemed like the man got ready for the lessons that day.
“Have you cooked lunch for today?” the demon asked heading beside Zira to the main entrance of the campus.
The human frowned and shook his head. “No, I’m sorry, yesterday I had to store some new books we got and to make the inventory so I arrived home too late to do so. But I had a good breakfast so I will just pick something little at the cafeteria”.
Crowley smiled. “Awesome. Because I bought us something to eat on my way here. They won’t be as good as if you eat them freshly made and warm, but...I’m sure you will like them anyway”.
Zira looked at him raising his eyebrows in surprise and smiling wide. “Oh my dear...that’s so so so nice of you, you didn’t have to…” his cheeks blushed again. “What it is?” his eyes sparkled with curiosity what made the demon want to tell him right then, but he wanted to keep it as a surprise until lunch time.
“I won’t tell you, you will see”.
Zira’s smile widened. “Oh, that’s really exciting. I can’t wait for lunch time to happen!”.
“Me neither” the demon smiled back to him.
Their first lessons were a nightmare for Crowley. Zira looked very interested and wrote a lot of notes and raised his hand more times than the demon keep the attention on. But Crowley was extremely bored, he just stared at Zira daydreaming about expending time with him, about having him back as he had Aziraphale. Sometimes the human caught him up staring at him, and then he wouldn’t had any more option than pretending he didn’t understand what the teacher said so Zira explained it to him. Then, he couldn’t really pay attention to his words but to his lips and soft eyes. The demon never forgot how good kissing Aziraphale had felt so it was hard for him to hold himself from kissing him again.
Finally the lunch hour arrived and Crowley headed happily to the way to the garden, only to realise it was raining. “Fuck, how disappointing...I really enjoyed the spot we had lunch yesterday…” he said looking at the soft grass getting wet from the door.
“Yes, well, we can eat at the cafeteria even we don’t buy anything” the human said smiling and put a hand on the demon’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, there will be other days without rain for us to enjoy our lunch outside”.
Just that innocent touch, made the demon want to pull him to the wall and kiss him wildly. “Ye...let’s go somewhere else...I really hate how noisy is that place, would you mind?” Crowley looked at Zira finding his soft cute smile.
“At all, dear, I don’t like much the cafeteria either. But where could we go?”
The demon used his powers to check on the whole campus, and he found a place where they would be alone, the stairs that leaded to the roof. Only the campus maintenance guys used them and they would go outside while it was raining like that, so he wouldn’t even have to use any miracle to be alone with Zira.
“Follow me” he said and started walking.
When they arrived to the stairs, Crowley sat and took out from his man bag a container full of sweet and salty crepes, and a black thermo with coffee that he started serving in two glasses.
“I’m impressed, this is just your second day here, how do you know about this place?” Zira asked sitting beside him and leaving his briefcase aside.
The demon smirked. “Someday maybe I will tell you” he teased and saw the human blinking and then showing a wide smile.
“Oh, how mysterious man you are” he shook his head. “Will you at least tell me what you got in there?” the human pointed at the crepes container.
Crowley opened it and placed it between them looking at Zira, not wanting to miss a single detail of his reaction.
The human opened his eyes and mouth and Crowley could see the very well known by him, excitement in his eyes. “Oh stars...you bought us crepes! They look delicious…”.
“They are from the best place in this city. It is run by a french couple so...they have to be good”.
“What? You bought them from “Le Petite France” ?”
Zira looked at him with wide eyes and then he looked at the crepes. “But...they are super expensive there! You shouldn’t have…”.
“Hey, never worry about money with me, I come from a wealthy family. Buying crepes to my old friend is the less I can do”
“Old friend?” Zira asked still looking shocked and Crowley blushed and looked away. He really didn’t think when he said that.
“Well...we know each other from our dreams, right? So…”
The human smiled shily. “You are right. Thank you so much, Crowley, you have not idea how much I love crepes, but I had never tried them from there, only from food tracks or fairs and of course they weren’t made by french people”.
“Enjoy them then, there’s a lot of them there so...you better already start”.
Zira took one smiling “Bon appetit” he said and hummed when he tried the first bite of it.
Of course Crowley knew how much he loved crepes, as he knew that happy and delighted expression the human had on his face while he was eating one. He couldn’t stop smiling, how much he had missed his angel enjoying a crepe.
The demon wasn’t a big fan of eating, he would prefer to drink a coffee with a little bit of brandy instead, but he had to pretend to be a human and a student, so no brandy, and yes to eat. He took one of the salty crepes and got surprised at the flavor, they really tasted very similar to those they had ate in France more than one time.
“They are the most delicious things I have ever tried” Zira said taking his second crepe.
“I’m happy you like them. They are indeed good, someday we should go to eat them there in the cafeteria. They may taste even better freshly made”.
The human blushed, he would love to expend time out of the campus with Crowley. “That sounds like a great plan to me” he said smiling.
They ate in silence for a while. It was something common for Crowley. Aziraphale loved to enjoy his food so they weren’t so talkative while he was eating and as expected, Zira was the same. His full concentration was on the crepes.
When the human was full, there were still many crepes on the container. He was human now, so unlikely celestial entities, he had a limit for food, Crowley thought.
“Yesterday” Zira started after taking a sip from his coffee. “I wanted to ask you about...your eyes, but I didn’t find any way to do it without sounding rude or too meddling. And I hadn’t find a right way yet so I’m just doing it like this...I just...want to get to know you more” the human said shily looking at his coffee with blushed cheeks.
Crowley wanted to hug him and never let him go from his arms, how could a being be that cute? he asked himself. “I don’t think anything from you could sound rude or meddling…” he had to bite his tongue, he was about to argument that Zira was an angel, so he couldn’t ever sound like it. That reason didn’t work anymore even it was half true. “...so, don’t worry. There’s nothing wrong with them, it’s just the color. It’s a weird condition I got from my grandmother. For some reason, our eyes get this color and our pupils get this shape” he shrugged. He was glad he had a good imagination because he hadn’t thought about a excuse for that before.
“Oh, I see, how interesting. Could I...if you don’t mind...see them?” Zira looked at the demon with curiosity and he blushed even Aziraphale had already seen his eyes a billion times. He felt a bit nervous but he would never admit it.
“Sure” Crowley took off his glasses and looked at Zira. The human looked at him with interest and moved a bit closer to see the eyes better.
He looked amazed by them and his right hand slid to the demon’s cheek which made his whole body get warm. That hand wasn’t as soft as Aziraphale’s, it was clear they had been used to work hard, but they felt exactly the same, warm and gentle and Crowley leaned to it by instinct.
“They are the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, my dear...you shouldn’t hide them, they are amazing. Exactly like they were in my dreams”.
Crowley blushed and swallowed hard. Not kissing him then was almost a torture.
“Thank you...but I think you are the only one who would like them...usually they discomfort the humans...I mean...the rest of the people…”.
Zira felt how Crowley leaned into his touch. His face was soft and warm, and it made him feel like he was dreaming, because they had have moments like this while he was asleep. He was about to pulled it away when he felt the red haired male hand over his, keeping it where it was. Suddenly he felt dizzy and the world seemed to have stopped for them, expect for his heart which was hammering fast inside his chest.
“Well, don’t hide them when you are with me at least, dear, I love them” he said softly, feeling mesmerized by those yellow eyes that were looking at his deeply.
“I won’t then” Crowley answered and brushed his thumb caressing Zira’s hand. That moment felt so familiar, like any other intimate moment he had have with his angel.
But just like back then, Zira pulled away lowering his head and blushing. Crowley understood why Aziraphale always was the one pulling away, because he was afraid of being somehow seen by his head office. But he was human then, he had not head office that could punish him or even make him fall.
“You had only ate one crepe, and there are tones of them left, you should eat at least another one, dear” the human said breaking the awkward silence. That was new. Usually, after those intimate moments they shared, Aziraphale would find any excuse to leave, or to at least go to another room, or away from him for a while. So Crowley couldn’t definitely understand Zira’s reasons. It was clear he liked him, that his feelings for the demon hadn’t been erased so, why? Maybe the man was just shy?
Asking would be too bold, so Crowley decided to move on for the moment. Maybe it was too soon. It take a great lot of time for Aziraphale to start acting like that with him, so maybe Zira needed some time as well.
“Don’t worry, I don’t eat much. I’m already full with the one I ate. You can take the rest with you” the demon said looking at his coffee but even he wasn’t looking at Zira, he could feel his smile on him and then his head on his shoulder when the human leaned down for a moment, giving him a cute nuzzle like he was a cat. “That’s so generous of you, thank you so much, dear”. So okay, maybe Zira didn’t need time. Theory discarded, the demon thought blushing and hiding a wide smile by drinking the last of his coffee.
The lunch hour was over and they had to come back to the lessons Crowley hated. He thought he would die of boredom at some point.
When the lessons were over, the demon wasn’t ready to get apart from Zira again. “Hey, angel, eh...what about...I drive you to your job again?” he asked while Zira was packing his things back on his briefcase. “I have nothing to do anyway…”.
The human looked at him. “Well, you have to do the essays for the literature subject and also the two latin translations, dear”.
The demon rolled his eyes. “They are for monday, I’m not doing them today, angel” he said crossing his arms over his chest and then a great idea appeared in his mind.
Zira chuckled. “I won’t say I’m surprised. Fine then, I’d like that, thank you, Crowley, you are really so kind”.
The demon grunted. “I’m not kind. I do it absolutely for selfish purpose” he said while they made their way to Crowley’s car.
“How is it, dear? What selfish purpose could you fulfill by driving me to my job?” Zira asked amused.
“Eh...expending time with you, for example” Crowley blushed. “Also...I could use some time driving, I love driving, everybody like driving. Well, no, but I do” he rambled nervously and the human giggled.
“Alright, that’s veeeery selfish, you are totally selfish, dear” he said with sarcasm, still giggling. He found Crowley attempts to convince him he wasn’t kind very cute.
“I am, you would be surprised” the demon said with an offended tone.
They got into the car and Crowley started driving to Zira’s bookshop. Again, he obeyed the traffic speed limits, he had to be careful, if something would happen, he wouldn’t be able to fix it with his powers in front of Zira. He couldn’t let anything happen to Zira either.
“Hey, angel...eh...I was thinking...tomorrow is Friday...do you have to work?”
“No, tomorrow and on Saturday I will be free from work, dear. Miss Shadwell always give me those days free so I can focus on my studies, she is very kind” the human was tempted to tease Crowley and to say “as you are” but he decided to not.
“Nice because...what? hold on...did you say Miss Shadwell?” Obviously, humans shared the second names and it didn’t mean they were family but he found it was a big causality that the human Aziraphale worked for a woman with that precisely second name.
“Yes, she is the owner of the bookshop. She is a very kind and nice lady” he said smiling.
“Does she has a brother?”
Zira shrugged. “I don’t know, dear, she never mentioned it, why?”
“I just know a person with that exactly second name. But it may just be causality” he said not really believing so.
“I can ask her today if she has a brother if you want, dear. She is my boss, but I believe we are also friends”.
“I’d appreciate that, thank you”
“It’s nothing, my dear. What were you about to say?”
“Oh! Yes!” Crowley forgot for a moment what he was about to ask. His mind started to work quickly, trying to find a logical in such of a coincidence if it happened to be that Miss Shadwell was Mr. Shadwell, the witch hunter, sister. If they were related, Zira was working there for a reason, a reason he probably didn’t know.
“I was...eh...wondering, if you would like to come to my place. We could do the homework together, you know I could use some help with literature. I would compensate you with a nice dinner” the demon said blushing slightly. Just picturing Zira in his apartment made his heart beat fast inside his chest.
The human looked at him surprised, nobody had ever invited him to their place. “I’d be so honored to go to your place, dear, but you don’t have to compensate me for anything. I’d love to help you” he said smiling wide. “After our lessons?”.
Crowley couldn’t suppress or hide a smile this time. “Yes, we could just go straight from the campus, that would be awesome”.
“I absolutely agree. I can’t wait for it”
“Me neither, angel” the demon turned a moment to find Zira’s wide and cute smile. He already felt nervous about the next day, he would spend the whole of it with his angel.
Soon they arrived to the bookshop and Crowley had to part away from Zira. He was already missing him and feeling empty on his way home. It had always been like that when Zira was an angel, he was never ready to let him go but it felt even harder then. After 20 years without him, after they kissed and confessed their love for each other it really felt like a punishment.
When the demon arrived to his apartment he cursed himself, he should had asked Zira to not cook anything for lunch because he wanted to surprise him again. He wanted the human would have nice meals. He hated Hastur and Jophiel gave his angel a life where he couldn’t afford decent food, his angel loved eating so did Zira, or it seemed so. Crowley was decided to give him a better life until he would find a way to give him his wings back. But he knew he had to do it little by little, so starting for giving him better things to eat was a good idea, or he thought so at least. Also, he didn’t want to try anything the human cooked anymore.
Crowley took his smartphone from his pocket to call him or to text him but then he realised he didn’t ask for his number so he cursed himself again. How stupid he was.
The last thing he wanted was to trick Zira in any sense, but this time, he would have to, and he tried to convince himself that it was for a good reason. So he miraculously create a memory in Zira’s mind where Crowley asked for his number, and he gave it to him. To do so, he first checked what kind of phone the human owned because he had to put the right one in the memory. He was ready to find out Zira had a phone you could only call and text with, but surprisingly, he had an smartphone. A very old one, but he had one which made him smile. It was an improvement, he never could convince Aziraphale to use one, but Zira was human and even he probably didn’t like technology so much either, and he couldn’t afford it, he probably gave up to it at some point since even the college library was working with an app those days.
With excitement, Crowley served himself a cup of wine and sat on his throne, phone in hand and looked for Zira’s name on it. He would be working so he decided he would leave a text on the chat app everybody was using those days.
‘Yo, Zira. It’s Crowley. Sup? I just wanted to ask you to not cook for tomorrow. I found another place I want to try the food from, so I will just buy us some. Any allergy or something you don’t like?’
The demon typed and sent. He left the phone on the table, not expecting to get an answer until Zira would close the bookshop but he jumped on his seat when he heard the phone buzzing.
‘Good evening, dear. I saved your number :).
You don’t have to buy me lunch again, I don’t want you to spend money on me. It’s okay for me to cook. Although, if you must know, I have none allergy to any type of food, luckily. And I’m not picky. What about you?’
The demon felt like melting, Zira even used emotes, just like he imagined Aziraphale would do if he would ever accept to use a smartphone.
‘Come on, angel! I told you to not worry about money with me. Please, let me do this, I don’t want to try it alone. What if I get poisoned? No allergies, none especially hated food’.
‘:O! So you would want me to get poisoned too?’
‘Do you want me to stay lonely in the hospital? How selfish creature! I thought we were friends, Zira...”
‘You know...I could actually be with you at the hospital just keeping you company, without the need to be poisoned too, right? ;P.’
‘Good friends share their good friend’s pain…’
‘Hahaha! Alright, alright. You win, I will get poisoned with you, my dear x__x.
Will you tell me what kind of food will you get us? Or are you going to play the-mystery-boy again? :P’
‘Don’t mistake me, angel. I don’t play anything. I’m definitely a very mystery boy’
‘Well, I have always found fun to solve mysteries :)!.’
Crowley read that last message like 5 or more times. Was Zira flirting with him? Or trying to at least?
‘I’d allow you to solve all my mysteries’
The demon pressed send and regretted it instantly, if zira wasn’t flirting, he just fucked it up. If he was lucky, the human wouldn't get it, he really hoped he wouldn’t. He didn’t think he did, it was Aziraphale after all. He got carried away more than one time when they were drinking and let escape very clear insinuations and the angel never understood them, or maybe he pretended to not, but he was never good at pretending, Crowley would have known.
Of course, the next answer took way longer than the previous ones and the demon walked around the room with his phone in hand feeling anxious about it, and thinking of erasing it from Zira’s phone and memory with his powers.
After 20 minutes that felt like hours, the phone buzzed and Crowley’s heart missed a beat.
‘I’m sorry dear, I got a customer and she needed some advices to buy the right book for her wife. Isn’t it lovely? Books are always the best present!
Oh dear, I’m flattered, but don’t make it easier for me or it won’t be that fun :D!
Crowley pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. Why did he think Zira would get it? Zira and Aziraphale were exactly the same person, just their origins were different. But okay, the human just opened a door to certain conversation Crowley thought it would be better to have like this, so Zira wouldn’t be able to see his face if he would get an answer he didn’t like, the demon thought.
‘Very lovely indeed. Although, no offence but I’d prefer a concert ticket than a book. Talking about girlfriends...do you have one? Or boyfriend?’
Crowley was aware of how forced the question was, but he didn’t care.
‘Oh! I will keep that in mind :). No, dear, I don’t. The closest I have been to have a couple was when a mate of mine asked me out but I didn’t like him that way. What about you?’
Zira didn’t tell him he actually never liked anyone but the boy and then man of his dreams. One, because probably Crowley would think he is insane, and two, because he was the man in his dreams.
The demon smiled wide and he felt like he had been holding his breath until the answer arrived. He already suspected Zira was single, otherwise he would have commented something about it, or it would have been written in the files Gabriel and Beelzebub gave him.
But a part of him still doubted it. Zira maybe was in a distant relationship or he was very discreet about it, or/and that pair of idiots just didn’t know about it. The files the gave him about Zira wasn’t precisely very thorough anyway.
‘I won’t deny I’m surprised to hear that. You didn’t like him because he is a boy or you just didn’t? I’m dating anyone. I have never. I found most of the people irritating, I never fitted with anyone’
Crowley answered honestly. The only one he had ever felt attracted to was Aziraphale, the rest of the demons and angels were just annoying to him. And humans? Well, he had never thought of humans that way.
Zira took another long time to answer, so he guessed he got another customer to take care of. But no, this time, Zira was really struggling with his answer. His heart was hammering inside his chest, he was so happy Crowley was single that he was afraid he would be too obvious on his next message so he was waiting for him to calm down. He could still be straight and it would be the same as if he had a couple, but at least one of those doors were opened.
‘Why are you surprised? :O. I didn’t like him because I just didn’t. I have not preference about genders, do you?’
The demon felt like he could float. Of course he had not preference, just as Aziraphale.
Zira asked why he was surprised and Crowley found the right moment to try to make clear he really liked him.
‘Why wouldn’t I? You are perfect, Zira. I can’t find a single thing about you people wouldn’t adore. I can’t believe you don’t have half of the campus chasing you. Oh, I don’t really have preferences either’
That message had Zira blushing deeply and holding his phone tight against his chest. He couldn’t believe that man he had had a crush since he was in the proper age for crushes, was telling him that he was perfect. Miss Shadwell approached to him, noticing his excitement state from the other side of the bookshop.
“Someone is very happy today, huh?” she said smiling wide to the light blonde haired male who looked at her radiant.
“Crowley just called me perfect…” he said amazed and the woman smiled even wider.
“I knew this would go fast, you are made for each other”.
Zira looked at her with wide eyes. “How do you know that? You don’t even...know him…”
“Intuition, dear. Would you let me see the message?” she asked with a playful smile and Zira nodded blushing, giving her the phone. He really felt her like a friend, a close one, she had helped him and took care of him when anyone else did, so he didn’t mind to share the conversation with her. He hoped Crowley didn’t mind.
Miss Shadwell covered her mouth with her hand and smiled. “Dear...this boy is absolutely crazy about you” she said returning the phone to his owner.
Zira covered his face with his hands. “Aaaah...no, it can’t be...you should look at him, he is...hot and handsome...he…”
“So you are, my dear. Don’t be silly, trust me, I know about men” she winked an eye and Zira’s face reached his maximum level of blushing.
“O-okay...thank you…”. Another customer entered into the shop.
“Answer him, I will take care of this one” she said smiling wide and walking to the new customer. Zira thanked her and readed one more time Crowley’s message.
‘Oh my dear, you are so charming. I don’t find myself perfect at all. If there’s someone perfect here, this is you :).’
Crowley blushed and smiled when he read the last message. Zira was so adorable, he wanted to hug him. When it would be the proper moment to do so? Because he was feeling very impatient about it.
‘I won’t deny I am. But so are you, angel. How long till you go home?’
They kept chatting until it was time to go to bed. Zira talked him about his job, how he liked to clean the books, and keep them in perfectly state, and how he liked to order them. He even sent him some pics of the bookshop.
Crowley talked him about his plants. The human took as a joke that he yelled at them and scared them so they wouldn’t grow any spot even it was the truth. And he sent him pictures of them. Once Zira arrived home, he sent Crowley some pics of his fluffy white cat he named Oscar, because of Oscar Wilde and Crowley laughed at the name.
They kept talking and sharing pictures of the things they talked about until they went to bed. Then Zira did something that almost gave the demon a heart attack.
‘I’m in bed already, I’m really exhausted e_e. Will you go to bed soon too?’ Was the text that accompanied a selfie of him laying on his bed with a tired smiled that Crowley found cute as hell. He could see part of his collarbones since he had buttoned his pijamas wrong and it just made him even more adorable but at the same time, made the demon’s body get warm. He had kissed that part of him and it had felt amazing, he really wanted to kiss it right then.
‘Oh, wow. I’m in bed already too but I’m not sure I can sleep. I can’t stop staring at that cute pic you sent me, so congratulations. The bags under my eyes tomorrow? YOUR FAULT’.
‘>///<! Oh no! I’m sorry, it wasn’t my intention! Delete it! You need to sleep!’
‘...It was a joke, silly. A way to tell you, I loved the pic. You look stunning on it, angel’
It took Aziraphale some minutes to answer because he didn’t know how. He wasn’t used to be complimented by anyone else than Miss Shadwell.
‘Ah, Oh...haha! I’m glad you like it but I don’t think I look any close to stunning, my dear :). You are so kind.’
‘I’m not kind. I’m honest’
‘Okay, Mr. Honest. You said friends should share pain, right? Wouldn’t they share joy as well? Since you liked my picture, what about you send me one as well? *--*.’
That request took Crowley by surprise and he smiled wide. They were officially flirting, it couldn’t be anything else.
The demon took the picture for Zira. He slept just in underwear so his chest was shown on it, and he made sure his expression looked at hot as possible by smirking to the camera and raising one eyebrow. He was an expert in selfies, he invented them after all.
When Zira opened the message, it took him some seconds to react to the picture. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked at it blushing deeply. He felt his whole body reacting at it and getting warmer, giving him some ticklish inside his lower belly.
‘Are you real?’
Crowley frowned at the weird question.
‘????? The last time I checked I was.’
‘I’m sorry. Sometimes it’s just hard to believe all this. You were in my dreams, and now you are in real life, or what feels like real life, sending me gorgeous pictures of you. I just felt so confused. You are too good to be real, Crowley.’
‘So are you, Zira. Did you like my pic or not?’ The demon asked trying to get Zira out of those kind of thoughts. It was normal he was confused, who wouldn’t? and it was even worse for a person like him that didn’t even believe in supernatural things before he met Crowley. But he couldn’t give him answer right then so the best he could do was to distract him to think about it.
‘I loved it, my dear. You are so handsome, you look perfect, thank you so much :). And I’m sorry about the weird words…’
‘Np, angel. I’m glad you liked it. I can’t wait to see you tomorrow.’
‘Me neither :).’
They guessed the other left the phone to try to sleep but none of them both did. They opened the picture of each other, and enjoyed it.
Thank you so much for reading my story <3. It is getting hard to write lately but I'm still trying ò3ó!
Thank you so much for your love and support <3, you are the best! *Hugs*.
Chapter 12: Too much for a human shoulders ~ Part l
Their love for each other is being slowly exposed. Crowley has so much to do but he can’t stop focusing on getting his angel’s, now human, love back. And Zira has so much to handle but he can’t stop spending time with demon in a human disguise.
Hi ~ This chapter is not finished. In fact, now is when the MAIN thing should start. But I promised I would post it on tuesday, and I didn’t have time to finish the rest of it, so I cut it where I thought it would be the best to be cut. So I’m really sorry Q_Q. But I promise you, it won’t take more than 1 week to post the second part :). The start of the college year is always crazy e.e. Thank you so so so so much for your comments and support! You are THE BEST <3! They are everything to me :)! *Hugs*
As always...forgive my english, I'm still learn it. And forgive my awful chapter summary...I'm always terrible at it XD.
Thank you for reading me <3.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
‘Good morning, dear! How did you sleep? o:)’ . Crowley’s phone, which had been abandoned on his pillow beside his head last night, buzzed and the demon woke up jumping on his bed. “Da fuck?” he cursed taking the phone and reading Zira’s message. His annoyance disappeared as fast as it took place in him. The human even used the angel emote.
‘For every star on the universe...what are you doing awaken at 6:00 in the morning? Our lessons starts at 8:00, right?’
‘Oh, did I wake you up? Oh dear, I’m so sorry...I just...woke up and the first thing I thought was to send you a good morning message, not about the hour, I’m very sorry, Crowley )’:.
The demon smiled. So he was the first thing Zira thought in the morning. ‘ You did. And there’s only a way out of this trouble: Answer my question, angel’.
Zira got a little bit nervous, he had never texted with anyone and since he wasn’t precisely an expert with people, he couldn’t understand if Crowley was really angry at him or not and the anxiety started to fill his chest. The last he wanted was to make his only friend angry at him. ‘Ah, yes, I’m so sorry. Yes, we start at 8:00. Our first lesson is Advanced English Grammar.’.
Crowley snorted. ‘I meant the first question, Zira. The second one was rhetorical, I know we start at 8:00, and if we weren’t I wasn’t going to go earlier anyway. 8:00 in the morning is already a crime!’.
The human smiled, it didn’t seem like Crowley was angry at him. ‘I’m so sorry again. I thought the rhetorical question was the first one ^^U. I wake up early because I live far from the campus, so it takes me around an hour to get there. Sometimes even more, depends on traffic. And I have to add breakfast, feeding and brushing Oscar Wilde and getting ready :)’.
‘I’m picking you up from today on, so you can get up at a human hour. Send me your location, angel’. The demon has Zira’s address but he had to pretend he didn’t once again.
‘Oh dear...you are calling me angel all the time, but the angel here it’s you! O:) Although, it is not necessary, I’m used to it. I just need to keep in mind to not text you until 7:00? hehe’
Crowley made a face, he wasn’t prepared to be called angel that early. ‘I’m no angel, Zira. Location. Please?’
The human smiled, he barely knew Crowley and at the same time he knew it too well to know he wouldn’t give up so he just sent him his location. He felt a bit guilty, Crowley was so good to him and he had so little to offer to him. He made a note in his mind about he would think of something he could give him in return.
The demon drunk his cup of coffee with his favourite brandy, had a shower, and happily walked to his car in order to pick his angel. He didn’t need to take showers, he could miraculously get himself ready for the day, but he enjoyed the warmth of the water. His serpent nature always made him seek for warmth.
As he already knew, the neighbourhood where Zira lived wasn’t good and it was known to be a little bit dangerous, so he didn’t get surprise of the state of the streets or Zira’s building when he waited for him to appear.
‘I’m here. You don’t have to worry, I arrived earlier than I said so take your time to come out’ . Crowley sent to Zira.
When the human readed the message, he was very tempted to ask him to come into his little apartment, but he had been too busy the last days and he hadn’t had the time to properly clean, and the kitchen was a mess from the last time he cooked so he decided to not. He would invite him in another moment so Oscar Wilde could finally meet the guy he had been talking him about since he adopted him. “You will like him, he is a very unique person” Zira said to his cat petting him before filling his bowl with cat food.
‘Okay, just 5 minutes and I will be with you ;)’. The demon just smiled when he got Zira’s message, he couldn’t wait to see his cute face, and his sweet smile.
Crowley was too into his thoughts to notice two persons were looking at him and his car from the window of a very old and shabby caffe-bar in front of Zira’s place. They were drinking a cup of a too strong coffee. Not because it was meant to be like that but because of the lack of interest of the bartender to learn how to make the coffee with the second hand coffee maker he just got, and the low quality of the grains.
They had met in the “Fallen” to put in order the tasks of the day, but they just decided they had a new goal to reach, so every task they had been asked to do would have to wait.
Zira waved at Crowley and entered in the car. The demon’s heart started beating hard from the very first moment he saw him coming out of the building. “Good morning dear”.
“Good morning, angel”.
“Thank you so much for picking me up, you are so lovely” The human said smiling wide.
“Come on, it’s nothing, I don’t have to push the car to here, just drive it. Not a big deal”. Crowley started the engine and drove them to the campus. Zira tried to guess what kind of food Crowley would get them for lunch but the demon was a rock, he didn’t give him not even a single clue, not matter how hard the human tried.
The lessons before the lunch time went as always. Exciting and interesting for Zira and boring and completely out of interest for Crowley. The demon felt how people got curious about him and tried to get to talk to him, but he skipped them all using his powers. He could simply push them away by telling them he wasn’t interested on them, but he didn’t want to be harsh to anyone. It wasn’t like he wanted to give a good impression to the Zira. He was how he was, and Aziraphale always accepted him like that so would Zira. It was just he didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention on the other humans since his plan was disappearing from their lives as soon as possible and to take Zira with him.
He still didn’t know how and he still had to figure a way to turn into an angel again but he would find the way, he was sure of that.
At lunch time, Crowley used his powers to make the best indian restaurant in London deliver to the campus main door, two menus with their best plates. The restaurant didn’t do delivers, but that’s one of the many advantages of being friend with a demon. There’s nothing they can’t get others to do for them.
Once they had their food, they went to their new secret spot in the stairs to the roof.
“How did you do this? I’m pretty sure a restaurant like this one...won’t ever do delivers” Zira asked absolutely shocked about the food.
“They don’t, but I have contacts” the demon said smirking and opening one of his containers. He ordered so many food even for Zira, but it was on purpose, he wanted Zira to take it home like he took the crepes. And he would have never been interested on trying any kind of food, but he did it for Zira too. He was glad to be able to do that many things for him. He always wanted to do as much as possible for Aziraphale, but it was a different situation. Using his powers to help him or to please him was dangerous, they could be caught up.
That need to please the angel concerned him so much in the past, he is a demon, he shouldn’t have those kind of feelings, any of the feelings he had for Aziraphale, in fact, so he was glad he finally understood and accepted them. That Aziraphale returned them helped. He didn’t feel that out of place anymore. Maybe he was a bad demon, and didn’t really belonged to anywhere, not heaven, not hell, but he belonged whenever Aziraphale would be.
“Ummmm, oh dear, this is delicious” Zira said amazed about his Tikka Masala chicken.
“I’m happy you like it. The truth is...it is really good, yes” the demon said enjoying the taste too, he just wished they could be enjoying a good wine with it. “Hey, Zira, so you grew in an orphanage, right? How was it?” Crowley tried to think in a way to make that question as soft as possible, but he didn’t really have any idea on how to do that so he just did the best he could do. He wanted to know as much about Zira as possible, because he loved him and because he would revenge every little hint of suffering their enemies caused him.
The human looked at Crowley a bit shocked by the question, he didn’t expect it, but he guessed it was something normal to ask for a person who came from a very different environment. He wasn’t the only one who had been curious about how was to grow up in a orphanage. “Well…” he smiled a bit nervous, it wasn’t something he liked to talk about. “It was okay at the start. When you are a kid things are way simpler” he chuckled. “We had some free hours during the day to play. I remember to have fun back then”.
Crowley smiled imagining a very little Aziraphale playing with other kids. “But when I started growing up fitting with others didn’t go so well, some boys just hated me for no reasons, and our caretakers weren’t helping much since they didn’t like me so much either” Zira continued and shrugged. “But I never knew why, I was just a quiet kid who liked read...I guess some people are just not very popular...then, when I got older I started questioning most of the stuff the priests were teaching us, I didn’t find any sense on them, so you can imagine in how much troubles I got myself into” the human chuckled nervously and Crowley frowned wanting to burn all those stupid priests and people who didn’t like such an adorable a good being. Although, it wasn’t probably they fault, Hastur and Jophiel hand may had been on that. Perhaps they made Aziraphale annoyed to humans eyes in order for him to remind lonely and to suffer.
“I know what being punished for making questions is...I’m sorry it happened to you too…” Crowley said looking at Zira and Zira smiled to him shily. “Were you somehow, raised by people with weird ideas about what’s wrong and what’s right?”.
Crowley snorted. “Kind of, but I will tell you in another moment, I want to hear more about you”.
Zira chuckled amused. “You just want to remain mysterious”
“Of course, you asked me to not make it easy for you to understand my mysteries, didn’t you?” the demon asked smirking.
“I dig my own grave there” he chuckled blushing. Zira felt ticklish in his stomach when Crowley smirked to him. He melt every time the red haired male did that.
“Well, but it wasn't all bad. At least I had a bed and food everyday, and I could read all the books I wanted to from the library. And I could talk to you, in my dreams…” Zira lowered his head blushing deeply and played a bit with his food. “It may sounds crazy but I didn’t feel that lonely when I was dreaming with you…” he took a spoon of his meal feeling his cheeks burning.
Crowley smiled. He was glad he was with him somehow, even it was just through his angel’s memories transformed into dreams. “When did you start dreaming with me?”.
Zira shrugged “I don’t remember not to dream with you…and you with me?” the human turned to the demon looking at him shy and a bit scared. Crowley had said he had also dreamed about him, but it was still hard for him to believe all that was happening. That the person he had always dream with not only existed but also dreamed with him.
The demon looked at him smiling softly “Same, you have always been there”. And it wasn’t completely a lie, they had always been together, from heaven it seemed.
Crowley could see Zira’s eyes fill with joy and his smile widening just before he shily turned to his food again.
They ate in silence for a while feeling his hearts filled with happiness because of each other’s obvious feelings.
“And tell me...what kind of priest they were?” Crowley suddenly asked when a suspicious thought took place in his mind.
“They said they were Catholics but I don’t know...I have readed about the Catholic religious and they didn’t teach us much of the stuff they should teach us as Catholic. They were too focused on making us fear the end of the world, and the war between heaven and hell...the also tried us to believe we were sinners for almost everything and we deserved punishment. We had to pray to an archangel named Jophiel, I don’t know...they were pretty agressive about everything they taught us, it almost felt like we were in a military training than in a Catholic orphanage, you know?”.
Zira shivered at the memory and Crowley narrowed his eyes and tensed his jaw. Bingo. Of course that bastard has something to do with Aziraphale living a hell in that place. He couldn’t understand how the almighty allowed such of angel to be an archangel. Gabriel was a prick, and obviously no good, but Jophiel? He had done so much less damage when he was an angel than her. Why was she still an archangel? Something felt so wrong.
“They also...were supposed to be helpful with the adopting system, but it was just the opposite. It was like they didn’t want anybody to be adopted. They were specially rude to the parents who came, and they talked bad to the kids about the adoptive parents before they would move with them. Nobody ever tried to adopt me so I didn’t have to deal with that but it was painful to see others’ situations”.
Crowley felt his blood burning inside him. He wish he could just go find Jophiel and tear the archangel apart. It wasn’t clear for him what was her intention by also messing with the rest of the kids but it wasn’t obviously good and he hated it. What kind of being messed up with kids? The worst kind for sure.
Slowly, he got closer to Zira and put an arm around his shoulders. “I would have adopted you a million times, not matter how stupid those excuse of priest would be to me”. Zira’s cheeks turned red and he chuckled. “That would make you my dad now...wouldn’t be a bit weird?”.
“Weird why?” Crowley asked meeting the human’s eyes and realised how close their faces were.
“Because we are in the same age and…” Zira wanted to say the feelings he had for Crowley weren’t okay for them to be father and son, but he froze in the moment he realised he shouldn’t really say so.
“And?” Crowley hadn't even thought about that fact so he just blinked not understanding.
“And...you left your glasses on while being with me, you promised me to not” he fastly resolved taking Crowley’s sunglasses off and looking at him smiling. “Better”.
Crowley blushed and lowered his head pulling his arm away from the human. “Did I promise that?”.
“Oh yes, dear, you did, you promised me like a thousand times”
The demon snorted. “That’s definitely not true, you are a little scammer…” he said turning his face to look at him and then he saw the human looking at him with a playful smile on his face and his sunglasses on. “How do I look?”.
Crowley couldn’t repress a laugh. The sunglasses definitely didn’t look bad on Zira, the demon thought, nothing would look bad on him, but they didn’t fit the rest of his sweet old fashioned outfit.
“Hey, don’t laugh of me, dear! Do I look that bad?” the human protested still smiling.
The demon shook his head smiling too. “No, no at all, it’s just...I didn’t expect you to do that”.
“As you can see, I am also a very mysterious man”
“You are not, angel” Crowley said chuckling and taking the sunglasses off of Zira’s eyes and placed a hand on his cheek. “I like your eyes, so I want to see them too” he said softly and pulled away, leaving the sunglasses on the floor between them.
Zira could still feel the warm touch of Crowley’s hand on his cheek. His heart pounded fast inside his chest, he wanted to jump on the red haired male and kiss him or to just run away from him as fast as he could, so he was so glad when he talked again taking him out of his panicking state.
“We should hurry up with our meals, we can almost have to go to the next classroom” Crowley grunted. “Fucking hell, I wish we could just go home already” he protested and tried to finish his plate as Zira ended his second one.
“Don’t say that, dear, during the next hour we are going to learn a lot about the ancient greek society!” the human said cheerfully packing the food back and Crowley rolled his eyes. “Like I would need that…” he mumbled.
“Of course you do, it’s important to know how the base of many things of our society was built”.
Crowley made a face and they walked to the car to leave the rest of their unfinished lunch in it.
The demon suffered from severe boredom the rest of the day until they finally were free to go home. “So, eh...angel, do you still want to come to my place to do eh...homework?” the demon asked shily while they were packing their stuff. He was afraid Zira had changed his mind and he wouldn’t feel like going. But the human looked at him with a wide smile on his face. “Of course, dear! I really like the plan”. The demon smiled back and nodded.
They walked to the parking and got into the Bentley. Soon they arrived to Crowley’s apartment and the demon felt as nervous as he felt the first time Aziraphale visited it and he didn’t even know why. His apartment was awesome, there was no way somebody would find something bad in it.
When they entered in the demon’s house, the first room they found was the huge living room and Zira’s eyes brightened. “Wow...this place is amazing…” he said looking around. It made Crowley happy. “Wait for seeing the rest, you can leave your stuff there” he said pointing at a little sofa where he left his jacket and man bag.
“Hold on, first of all…” Zira said getting closer to the demon and taking off his sunglasses. “You keep forgetting your promise, my dear” the human singsonged handing Crowley his sunglasses.
The demon blushed and made a face to Zira making him laugh. “I can’t believe you like my eyes this much…”.
“I love them! They are really beautiful and they always say so much. I feel like I’m losing part of what you say when I can’t see them”.
Crowley blushed and looked away. “Shut up and follow me”. He started walking and he could hear Zira giggling amused behind him which made him melt. He wasn’t taking his “shut up” serious, as neither did Aziraphale.
Crowley shown him the rest of the apartment, leaving his plants solarium for the last. The human was amazed with every room. “And here...there’s my favourite room, Zira meet my plants, plants, meet Zira” he said inviting him to get into the solarium where the beautiful plants were. “Oh stars...they are so beautiful. They are probably the most beautiful plants I have ever seen...hello, dears” Zira said waving at them just like Aziraphale had done the first time he met Crowley’s plants and he couldn’t help but to feel a mix of happiness because Zira liked his plants, and anger because he shouldn’t be being nice to them, otherwise they would stop being terrified and they would not behave as he expected them to.
He had explained that to Aziraphale, that he wasn’t allowed to be nice to his plants, and they had had a discussion about it. But he couldn’t say so to Zira, he would think he was crazy or something like that since he was a human, so he just stood quiet waiting for Zira looked at them all.
“I find so cute that you like plants, Crowley” he said turning to him with a wide smile. Aziraphale had said so too. “Well, they are easy to take care of and they are beautiful so…” he shrugged. That hadn’t been the answer he gave to Aziraphale. He told him that plants are easy to keep under control since they couldn’t run, or ruin his apartment if they got angry or scared. But again, he couldn’t say so to a human.
“Thank you so much for having me, dear. I really love your apartment. It totally suits you, it has your style everywhere” Zira walked out of the solarium smiling to the demon and he smiled to him back. “Yes, I decorated it myself so I like it too”.
Zira didn’t say that he also liked it because the whole place smelled like Crowley and it made him feel safe somehow. And that It didn’t feel like being there for the first time
because it looked exactly like it was in his dreams so it brought him good and warm memories.
“Well, let’s get to the work, right? I think we could be comfortable here” Crowley said taking the angel to the large table in the room beside the solarium. Some people would say that it was a dining room, but it wasn’t. It had very comfortable office chairs, crowley’s amazing throne and shelves with books. So the room was a very opulent and unnecessary huge study. “You can bring your books and notebooks here, I will be right back in a moment” the demon said walking to the kitchen.
He miraculously made appear a teapot full of tea, and a plate with pastries. It was then when he realised there were two letters on the counter of the kitchen.
The demon swallowed, they may be from the humans allies he contacted, because regular mail wouldn’t do it own way to the counter of his kitchen. He took them not liking the idea of having to start developing a plan, all he wanted was to be with Zira, he had missed him for 20 years and he felt like he couldn’t handle to be more than one day without him. And he would probably have to.
Making a face, he quickly checked what it was inside them without opening them. One was from Adam, and the other was from Madame Tracy. The demon realised Adam would be around 31 by then, a grown man and he felt a little bit of curiosity about how things had turned out for him. But not curiosity enough to read the letter then, while his favorite person was in his apartment. He would read them and answer to them later. Anyway, for the moment, Gabriel and Beelzebub hadn’t contacted him yet, so it means he had time enough to ignore them until Zira would leave.
When the demon returned to the fancy study, Zira had already his books on the table and he was reading his notes. He looked at Crowley smiling. “Oh dear, you are so lovely, you didn’t have to bother”.
He put the tray on the table and served the tea. “You are going to explain me a lot of shit, right? So the less I can do it’s to make some tea for you. I’m not lovely” he said trying to be offended and failing. He was a demon, he had to be offended but how to be offended at that cute smile?
Zira giggled. “You are, not matter what you say, you are lovely, come here, we are starting with the english grammar homework, I had noticed it what you hate the most so it’s better to get rid of it as soon as possible”.
Crowley was about to sit in front of Zira but then he sat beside him since he asked him to. Not like he was going to protest, they would be close that way and he would be able to smell the human’s nice essence which was exactly the same as Aziraphale. Which wasn’t the same was the perfume. Aziraphale’s was probably a expensive one and Zira obviously couldn’t afford anything like that.
Then he wished he had ever asked Aziraphale was it was, so he could buy it for Zira. Although, his human would turn back to his angel someday somehow, he was sure of that.
When Zira taught him, had nothing to do with the university lessons. He even enjoyed what he was teaching him. He knew perfectly it was because of him, and not the subject of the teacher, but it felt good to not be close to die of boredom while listening to the lectures.
Crowley also enjoyed succeeding on the exercises without using his powers. Zira always rewarded him with a huge satisfied smile that made a wave of happiness run through his body, and felt that ticklish thing on his stomach. Humans called them butterflies if he remembered it well.
Of course Zira didn’t know he was doing it without using his powers, he didn’t know he had powers as a start, but it made him feel good about it too anyway. Aziraphale would have been proud, and he will be when he would return. When Zira would turn into his angel form. Oh stars, sometimes it sounded like a mess in his head, he thought.
Time passed by quickly and they didn’t even realise it was around 20:00 already until the demon started missing his everyday cup of wine at evening. “Fucking hell, look what time is it! I never thought I could be doing this shi...homework…” he corrected himself when Zira looked at him raising his eyebrows. “...For this long...this is crazy...you are a good lecturer, angel” the demon patted his shoulder and Zira smiled blushing shily.
“Thank you, I’m so glad it wasn’t that hard for you. I really had fun doing homework with you and teaching you what I could. It was very nice, dear”.
“Ye, and we have almost finished everything, we only have a few exercises left, so I think we could call it a day, right?”.
“Right, we have achieved our well deserved rest from work now” Zira smiled and stood up starting to close his notebooks and to take his pencils back to the tartan printed pencil case. Of course it would be tartan, the demon had thought when Zira took it out from his briefcase the first time.
“What are you doing?” The demon asked raising an eyebrow and the human looked at him surprised by the question.
“Uh? I’m packing my stuff to go home, we are done for today” he smiled.
“You are not leaving yet, Zira. You have helped me a quite lot today. Without you, I would have done nothing and I would be empty handed on monday, I can promise you that. So, as I told you, I’m buying us something tasty for dinner”.
Zira looked at the demon blinking. “Oh dear, you are so kind but you have already bought me lunch today. Teaching you was nothing, I had fun, and I like to spend time with you so...you don’t have to pay me for that, don’t be silly” he shook his head and kept packing his books.
Crowley placed a hand of Zira’s hand stopping him from closing the last book and looked at him. “If you like spending time with me...please, have dinner with me” he said with a serious expression. He wouldn’t have insisted if he knew Zira didn’t want to stay, but he knew he did, he knew him well even he was now human, he still tried to put what he thought it was right before even himself.
The human’s cheeks turned red and he looked for a moment to his hands and then lowered his head shily. “I like spending time with you too so I want to have as much time as I can with you” the demon added and Zira nodded after a few seconds. “Alright...alright, thank you, dear” he lifted his eyes to Crowley smiling softly and his hand was released.
“Nice! What about I order us pizza and we watch something...a movie? Whatever you like watching, I don’t mind”. Aziraphale and Crowley had have nights like that. Not so often because the angel feared they would get caught, but when they had them, Aziraphale loved them. The demon always let him to choose what to watch since he didn’t care much, he just wanted the angel’s company as he didn’t care either what they ordered to eat, he just cared about the wine which always made him fall asleep at some point during the movie. The angel never cared, just the opposite, he seemed to be happy explaining him what happened after he fell asleep.
Crowley was sure Zira didn’t drink. Just in case he checked miraculously in his mind and he was right. So he would leave the wine for another moment this time, but he hoped Zira would enjoy watching a movie with him as much as Aziraphale did.
What the demon didn’t know was that what the angel enjoyed the most about their movie session was him falling asleep since most of the times, he would end up with his head on the angel’s lap or shoulder.
The light blonde male’s face brightened up with a wide smile. “That sounds absolutely delightful, my dear. I have always wanted to do something like this with a friend. Not like Oscar Wilde is a bad company, but he can’t comment the movie with me afterwards” he giggled and Crowley couldn’t help but to smile. How adorable creature Zira was.
“Well, so I’m making your dream come true, let’s move to the living room and I will order the pizzas while you can pick what we will watch. You have plenty of options, I will show you”.
The moved to the living room and they sat on the very fancy but also comfortable couch and Crowley taught him how to dive into the many apps for watching movies and shows he had on the smart tv. Not like he was a big fan of watching stuff, but he always wanted to have the last of whatever digital device that would come out. He also made Zira choose the pizzas and some deserts. As much food, the longer he would stay, the demon though admitting to himself he was so greedy.
“I may say I’m proud of you, Crowley” Zira said while trying to choose between 5 movies he had selected as the best candidates for the night.
“Why would you be proud of me?” the demon asked raising an eyebrow.
“Because I never thought you would behave that well” he giggled. “I mean...I thought you would be distracted every 10 minutes just as you do in the classroom, and that you would be bored of working on the first hour. But you worked so much. So I’m proud of you”.
The bright smile Zira gave him made his heart skip a beat and his cheeks blush.
“Shut up. I just had a good day. Next time I will ask you random question during the lessons or I will ignore you, or I will draw funny clothes on the history characters while you speak”.
Zira laughed. “Nah, you won’t, dear. You are a better student than you think, you just need a proper motivation”.
Crowley raised his eyebrows. “Woho...so you are my proper motivation?” he asked playfully, making emphasise on the ‘you’ . Zira’s cheeks turned completely red and the demon could see how he tensed up.
“No...I meant...I meant the way you are taught...not every teacher is able to motivate their students with their lectures...and it’s normal, they do a general lecture...I just personalised it for you...that’s all…” He turned back to the tv and smiled nervously. “I think have the movie!” he said trying to change the topic but the demon wouldn’t miss a flirting chance, not anymore. He had been missing them for too many years.
“Uhum...that’s true, but nah. I you are truly my proper motivation, angel”.
Crowley smirked looking at the human, and the blonde looked at him back with his mouth and eyes opened in surprise and his face completely blushed.
The poor human couldn’t understand if Crowley was really flirting with him or he meant something else, but the thing was, he didn’t know how to react at it. He wished the red haired male was flirting as much as he was afraid of it.
Suddenly, the door rang. “Oh, pizzas!” so the demon went to open it and get their dinner. Of course he miraculously made them arrive just in that moment because he had to save the situation somehow, but he was proud of Zira’s reaction. If he hadn’t caught his attempts through the texts, it was almost clear he did then so it was a little victory. Or he hoped so.
He wanted to give him some minutes to recover himself, so he went to the kitchen to get them some glasses and water to drink. It was the only not alcoholic thing he had. He also got the plates and saved the tiramisu cake in the fridge for later.
Meanwhile, Zira was still freaking out about what Crowley said. He couldn’t believe he was flirting, it couldn’t be. He was a nice person, and obviously a good friend, and friends could motivate each others, so it has to be so, he thought. Although, having a real good friend was also dangerous, but it could probably be more easy to handle than anything else. Or at least, he hoped so, because he wasn’t sure he would ever be able to be without Crowley now he finally had him.
“Well, well, it seems like we got everything we need now” the demon said setting the pizzas, glasses and the rest of needed items on the tea table. “Are you ready?”.
Zira nodded smiling to him. “I am, dear. Also hungry!”
“I’m glad to hear so because we really got a lot to eat. Which movie?”
“I picked up that one...I don’t know if it will be good, but I hope you like it”
“I will for sure” the smiled to each other before Crowley pressed play.
Chapter 13: Too much for a human shoulders ~ Part II
Zira doesn't take thrillers (movies) very well and Crowley find some advantages on it.
Hi beautiful people <3. I failed you again. So I come with a short chapter that was supposed to be the real ending for the part I.
The part III turned out to be a bit hard to write so it is not finished, close, but not finished, so I decided to at least post today this short chapter instead posting nothing. And next week I will post the last real part of this chapter that it will be caller part III.
I'm really sorry, life is just being a bitch as usual and I'm struggling with it.
I erased the drawings posts, but I will post them tomorrow in my instagram --> i_dont_give_a_hux :). Thank you so much to @bookwars @SoulMore and @blackwhite for your amazing comments on it, I took a screenshot of them so I wouldn't lose them >//////////< <3.
Thank you all so much for reading my story, your love and support. You are all wonderful, and I feel so lucky to have you around, THANK YOU!
It turned out that Zira picked a scary movie by mistake. It was more like a thriller than a scary movie, and not scary at all for Crowley, but the human seemed to be as soft as his angel version. And the demon couldn’t believe it happened without him making a miracle to create the perfect excuse for Zira to get closer to him. Sometimes, just sometimes, he thought the almighty was still caring a bit about him.
Everytime something scary was happening, Zira leaned over the demon, hiding his face behind his hands. It was so adorable and Crowley enjoyed every touch of their shoulders that much that he could only focus on them, and if someone would ask him, he would have no idea what was the movie about.
When the movie was over, there were still food on the tea table. Zira hadn’t ate that much because he was suffering during the movie, and the demon wasn’t ready to let him go so he found the perfect excuse for the human to stay a bit longer, or even for him to stay over the night? Maybe that would be too much to ask, but he could really try.
“Hey, Zira...you haven’t ate much...I guess that wasn’t the right movie to enjoy any kind of food...what if...we watch another? A funny one? So...eh...we can finish all that?” Crowley say pointing to the pizzas, knowing that he was being probably too obvious but he wasn’t good at crawl through things instead saying them straight, as ironic as it may sound.
The light blonde male looked at Crowley surprised of the offering and then checked his watch. There was nothing he wanted more than staying longer with him, and if you added that amazing pizza, the plan was just perfect but it was getting late.
“Oh dear, I’d love to, but it is getting late and...you know...it’s not very safe to be around my neighborhood at certain hours” he said looking at the demon with an apologizing expression.
“Angel, I’m not going to let you go by yourself, I’m going to drive you back and it is out of question”.
Zira shook his head. “I wouldn’t want you to drive around there with your car late at night either, dear. I really appreciate the offer and I’m sorry about the waste of the food...but…” he lowered his head feeling really bad about the situation.
“Well…” there he was going to go, feeling his cheeks getting blushed. “You could also stay over…” Crowley swallowed and looked at Zira trying to hide how nervous he was about his answer. He really wanted a ‘yes’, he wasn’t ready to get away from him, even they could text until they would fall asleep, it wouldn’t be enough. He knew he would have to face the reality, to read the letters and to start developing a plan the next day, so that night he just needed Zira with him, his human, his angel.
Zira turned his face to him opening his eyes wide. He couldn’t believe Crowley was really inviting him to stay and his heart immediately started beating fast inside his chest, clouding his mind. And making him forget he shouldn’t accept the invitation, that he shouldn’t get closer to him but the opposite.
Maybe the red haired male wanted to be with him as much as he wanted to, why would he invite him over otherwise? Zira asked to himself.
“We even still have the desert in the fridge...tiramisu, it looked amazing…” the demon said in order to convince the human.
“But...I didn’t brought...anything to sleep in…” he said blushing shyly and Crowley miraculously created a pijama of Zira’s size inside his wardrobe.
“I could lend you something…” the demon saw Zira protest about them not having the same size coming when the human opened his mouth. “I have a pijama on your size. Why? Because I’m not so good buying in the internet” he gave him a toothy smile and Zira tried to hide his smile by lowering his head.
“Well...it seems like I have no reason to decline your invitation so...yes, I’m staying, just...pick the next movie, please” he chuckled and Crowley smiled wide and clapped his hands with a “Yes!” not being able to hide his excitement. His heart started to beat hard with pure happiness.
The demon chose the next movie and covered them both in a large blanket. Zira ate happily almost all the rest of the food, including the desert while Crowley just ate another slice of pizza and didn't try the tiramisu, he didn't care about sweets much. Once again he couldn't tell what the movie was about because he was so focused on every Zira's reaction. He loved the sound of his voice when he laughed and he knew exactly when he was going to because he knew him so well. He never mistaked a single prediction and it filled him with a warm feeling that made him feel good.
After that movie, they decided to start to watch a show that looked interested to Zira because it was the TV adaption from a book series he had readed. It was already really late so at the end of the first chapter, the human started yawning. “You don’t like it? We could switch to another one if you want” the demon said not wanting the human to get bored but Zira shook his head smiling.
“I do, I do, I’m just tired. I don’t sleep much during the week so when Friday arrives, I’m a little bit tired, you know?”
Crowley could see the exhaustion in his face. The human worked, and studied so much, and he had to take care of his house and his cat. Of course he was exhausted. To be a human may really be tiring and he couldn’t wait to give his angelic form to Zira back.
“We should go to bed then. We can keep watching this tomorrow, while we have breakfast, for example”.
Zira yawned again. He didn’t want to go to sleep, he wanted to spend more time with Crowley but if he wouldn’t go to sleep, he would fall asleep at any moment on the couch and it would be embarrassing, so he nodded. “That sounds great to me, dear. I’m sorry I’m this tired tho” he blushed. “Come on, angel, don’t be sorry about that, don’t be silly, you are human, humans get tired...even demons does” he murmured the last and stood up folding the blankets.
Zira chuckled. “Demons don’t exists, dear”. He helped Crowley with the blankets.
“Oh, they do”. They headed to Crowley’s room.
“How are you so certain? Have you ever seen one?” Zira teased smiling, he knew, or better said, he thought, Crowley was joking.
“I have seen tones of them”. The demon took the pijama and a spare brush teeth that he just miraculously made appear while he was back to the human.
Zira frowned for a moment still smiling. “Really? Where?”. But Crowley wasn’t smiling but looking at him serious, because he was being serious, he just knew Zira wouldn’t take it like that and it was fine. He was just checking his reactions so he would have a better idea about how to bring the truth out to him when the time would come.
“Where demons live, in hell” he pointed to the floor and Zira followed his finger with his eyes. Thinking for a moment that Crowley may be talking serious so his smile turned into a confused expression.
“So you have been in hell”.
“Of course, hell is where I belong to. I just prefer to be around here” the demon shrugged with a little smile.
Zira looked at him quiet for a moment and then chuckled. “You are not scaring me, dear. I can be scared of serial killers, like that one in the movie we watched, but you can’t scare me about things that doesn’t exists” The human said determined and sticked his tongue out. “Thank for the pijama and the toothbrush, I will be ready in a moment” he said already walking to the bedroom bathroom.
“Okay, but don’t come crying to me when you see a demon and get scared. I was trying to warning you here”. Crowley said smiling. It was going to be tough to make him see the truth, so he will need more facts than words to talk to him about the reality of their lives.
“Don’t worry, I will call the ghostbusters instead!” The human said from inside the bathroom and Crowley couldn’t help but chuckling again.
The demon left the room, pretending to go to the other bathroom to brush his teeth and change into his pijama. But he just miracled all that in the hall. He missed being able to use his powers for too long and since nobody was tracking him anymore, he was taking a great advantage of his demonic miracles.
He waited outside the room after a logical time for him to do those human tasks passed and then the demon entered. Zira was ready waiting for him sat on his bed. Crowley’s cheeks blushed and he looked away. The light blonde male looked so adorable and so handsome sitting on his bed, it felt so intimate, so right that made Crowley’s heart beat fast.
“Well, angel, sleep well. If you need something, just wake me up, okay? I won’t mind” he said trying to not look straight at him and was about to leave when Zira stopped him.
“Hold on, where are you sleeping, dear?” the human asked frowning.
“Oh, on the couch. It is amazingly comfortable, I have slept there many times just because I wanted to” Crowley said smiling. And it wasn’t a full lie. It was true he had spent many nights on the couch but just because he was too drunk to make it to the bed.
Zira tilted his head confused. “Why? This bed is huge, we both fit in it. I’m used to share small beds from my orphan times, so...unless it is a problem for you...I don’t see the reason you would have to sleep somewhere else, dear”.
Crowley’s heart beats increased its rhythm. He hadn’t expected Zira to suggest them to sleep in the same bed. He was right, it was huge, they wouldn’t even touch each other if they didn’t want to, there was espace enough. But still, he didn’t expect it, he didn’t dare to since it was too good to dream about it.
“Alright, if you are okay with it, I am too” he hurried to say before Zira would take his surprise wrong and think he didn’t want to sleep next to him, when it was just the opposite.
Sleeping with Aziraphale had always been a phantasy he kept repeating in his mind over the years since he started to have feelings for the angel. Or better said, to remember his feelings for him. He loved sleeping, and he loved Aziraphale, so it always felt like the best combination ever. Also the angel was warm, and he, as a snake, was always seeking for warmth so he had pictured himself uncountable times hugged to his angel, feeling comfy, warm and safe. The demon could finally make his phantasy come true that night in Anathema’s house when they finally shown their feelings for each other, but that had sadly been his only one chance.
He knew, this time, it wasn’t going to be like that. Zira was Aziraphale, but he didn’t have his memories, so hugging him would probably be inappropriate and it would only pull the human away. The demon knew, or he thought and hoped, that Zira had feelings for him, a part of what Aziraphale felt was still inside him. But he needed to be patient and let Zira take his time to realise them, handle them, or whatever he needed to do with them. Crowley wasn’t precisely an expert with feelings, but he knew he couldn’t go fast with Zira, as he never could go fast with Aziraphale back then. At least until he would fix everything and Zira would get his angelic form back with his memories.
So just laying beside him was already good enough, it was more than good enough, it was great, and he couldn’t hide the smile of his face.
They went inside the sheets and blankets and Crowley turned off the lights. They remained laying on their back, looking at the ceiling in silence for a moment. The demon was trying to steady his heart but it wouldn’t obey him, and so was Zira. Who was repeating inside his head that sleeping in the same bed with the man he had that huge crush with wasn’t a big deal. But it was. He wasn’t an angel anymore, so as human, he has humans thoughts and needs and even the proposal of sleeping together was absolutely innocent, once they were laying in the same bed, his mind wouldn’t stop thinking about impossible and inappropriate things for two friends that just met each other despite the dreams they had and so.
Zira had to distract his mind somehow so he decided asked something to Crowley he had been wanting to ask since the day they talked about their dreams with each other.
“Crowley?” the human asked shyly, turning his head to the demon’s direction.
“Yes?” Crowley hurried to say turning his head to look at Zira, and feeling very grateful of the human talking. He was really afraid his heart could be overheard beating like that in the silence of the night.
“You said you also have had dreams with me, and that was why you reacted that cute the first time I saw you in St James park, right?”.
The demon rolled his eyes. “Cute? I acted weird, not cute, I'm not cute so I can’t act cute”. Zira chuckled.
“I think you are cute”
“I’m not, I can’t be cute” the demon said with a moody tone and crossed his arms over his chest.
“You are, dear”
“Nope. Not a single hint of cuteness in this body”
“Crowley, you are cute, I find you cute”
“You can’t find cuteness where is not possible to have cuteness, Zira”
The human chuckled, he couldn’t understand why Crowley was so determined to not be called certain things that were obviously good, actually compliments. And that made him even cuter, but he wouldn’t say that to him, or he would never get the answer to his question.
“Okay, person with 0% of cuteness inside or outside himself, you said you dreamed with me too, right?”.
“Right” the demon said still with his moody tone.
“Right, so what I want to know is what kind of dreams you had, what happened in them, and if you are still having them”.
Crowley blinked surprised by the question. He didn’t really know what to answer because it wasn’t true he had been dreaming with Zira. When the human said he dreamed with him, knowing how those things worked, he guessed what Zira was having were memories. The human was dreaming with parts of their life together, maybe only from the day they met in the Earth, or maybe he even was having access to the blocked memories from their life in heaven, if it had been true, Crowley wasn’t completely certain about it after his talk with Gabriel.
“Well, I could talk about my dreams for days...it happened every night. But not anymore, not since I met you in this reality, you know?”.
Zira nodded. “The same happened to me”.
“And they were about...I don’t know...we doing stuff together. Like having dine at the Ritz, or you owning a bookshop and we getting drunk there. Having picnics...eating crepes in France…”.
The human’s eyes were opening wider with every situation Crowley mentioned. “You rescuing me from the nazis in a church, or we talking for hours sitting in St James park, or…” Zira frowned remembering that one. “Kind of babysitting a spoiled boy wearing weird costumes?” he chuckled and Crowley smiled remembering that.
“Yes, I had have that one too” the demon couldn’t stop smiling. He was right, Zira had been dreaming with the experienced they shared when he was an angel. The dreams didn’t seem to have shown him he was an angel and that Crowley was a demon, but it has probably had to do with the fact that he was a human, and his lack of faith on supernatural entities. Even they were memories, they were put into dreams, and dreams were controlled by a tiny little conscient part of the person.
“I can’t believe we have been dreaming the same...this is insane…”. Zira turned his face to the ceiling feeling very confused about the whole thing. And at the same time, feeling kind of good because if all that was truth, it has to mean they were connected or something similar, and even he knew he shouldn’t be close to anyone, he couldn’t ignore how much he desired to be as closer as possible to Crowley.
Suddenly, the dreams where they had a relationship deeper than friendship, and kissed and enjoyed each other’s bodies in weird place full of light, and dressing with white clothes, came to his mind, and his face turned absolutely red. Did Crowley had those too?
He turned his head to the demon with an horrified expression and Crowley frowned. “What’s wrong? Did you remember a bad dream or…?”.
Zira shook his head and looked away. He was lucky the lights were off so Crowley couldn’t see how red was his face, he could feel it burning.
What he didn’t know was that Crowley, as the demon he was, could see perfectly in the darkness, and could read even better Zira’s reactions. He wondered if the human dreamed with what they did in Anathema’s house and he just remembered, it has to be something like that, he thought.
Zira turned around, showing his back to Crowley. He wanted to use the dreaming topic as a distraction from those kind of thoughts with the man laying beside him, and it just made it worse. Not only worse, then he also wondering if Crowley dreamed the same but he didn’t know how to ask without confessing he dreamed so. If the red haired male hadn’t had those dreams, Zira would be absolutely exposed and maybe Crowley would pull him away, because he didn’t think he liked him that way. Who would? He asked himself feeling down suddenly.
“Hey, angel, are you okay?” The demon asked not understanding that well the situation as he thought he did.
“Y-yes, I’m sorry, I’m just....so tired and I don’t understand this dreams thing...It’s not like I don’t like it, I do. but...I have spent too much denying every supernatural event. What do I do now with this? I’m confused...and tired, maybe we should sleep, I’m sorry dear”. Zira didn’t lie, he just didn’t mentioned the other part.
Crowley felt more than ever like telling everything Zira, to hug him and to tell him that everything would be alright, because he was getting their life back. But he knew he couldn’t, it wasn’t the right moment and he still had to settle many things up. He sighed.
“Don’t be sorry, angel, I feel confused too, but we will figure everything out, together. Let’s just...sleep for today. Night” he said turning to a side so they were back to back.
“Thank you, dear. Good night” Zira said softly and closed his eyes feeling how the exhaustion was already making him feel heavy on the mattress.
Zira fell asleep in a few seconds, but it took Crowley a longer time to fall asleep. He rolled over himself facing Zira’s back, watching how his body slowly moved by the soft breathing. He watched his beautiful curly light blonde locks and wished he could brush his fingers into them or to kiss his head and smell his sweet scent.
Suddenly, sadness and anger took place inside him. He felt sad about everything the heaven did to his angel, he never deserved any of it and even so, they made him suffer terribly. And angry, because he wasn’t able to stop them. But he would, he would stop them forever and nobody would ever hurt his angel once again, he promised that to himself and with that promise vivid in his mind, he finally, slowly, drifted off.
As it was mentioned before, Crowley’s bed was huge, big enough for them to not even touch each other if they didn’t want to. But they did want to, so once again, their subconscious played the right cards for them.
Zira turned around during his sleep and little by little, they started moving closer and closer to each other. They first wrapped their arms around each other, and Zira hid his face under the demon’s chin. Then they interlaced their legs, making their bodies be as closer as it was possible for them to be.
The movements had been slow and soft, but anyway, whoever would have woke up at some point. Maybe when an arm was placed under them to wrap them, or when a leg was placed over their leg. But not them. Even Aziraphale was then in a human body, and his memories from heaven had been erased, it was still natural for him to sleep wrapped around Crowley. As it was for the demon not matter how much time someone one day invested in trying to erase every feeling for the angel from his soul.
They were made for each other, and they would always find their way to find one another, even it was in a huge comfy and very expensive bed in a demon’s apartment.