Magnum didn’t get to the bank often. Rent wasn’t an issue, and most of his clients liked to pay cash, so most days it was easier to go to the ATM at the liquor store down the road than pester Higgins for a ride to the bank. Today was one of those days.
The little bell above the door jingled as he came in.
“Morning Thomas.” said Mr. Kahale without looking up from his magazine.
“Morning Mr. Kahale.” Magnum said, weaving through the aisle to get to the ATM in the back.
He put the card in the slot and started pressing buttons, vaguely paying attention to the sounds of the store. The storeroom door opened.
“I’m taking Mele to daycare, I’ll be back in 20.” said Amaya.
“Can we go to the doughnut store on the way to school?” asked Mele.
“Not today baby,” said, her shoes clicking on the tile floor, the bell on the door jingling as she opened it, screaming, –
“Don’t move!” said a man. Magnum turned around slowly and put his hands up. There was a man in the door pointing a gun at Amaya. Amaya pulled Mele to her side. Mr. Kahale put his hands up.
“What do you want? He asked.
“All the money in the register.” the man said.
Mr. Kahale reached towards the register with shaking hands.
. . .
Magnum distracted Mele while Amaya and Mr. Kahale talked to the patrol officers. She has stopped sobbing, but she was gurgling miserably, nose running. Magnum wiped the snot from her face.
“And Timothy’s friends said ‘Timothy, you’re a good man. You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t beat your wife, and you don’t kick the aardvark in the backyard. You should run for mayor.` And so he did, and he won, and spent two years on the city council. And when his term was up, the city council members said ‘Timothy, you’re a good man. You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t beat your wife, and you don’t kick the aardvark in the backyard. You should run for mayor. So he did, and he won, and when his term was up the people of the city said ‘Timothy, you’re a good man. You don’t drink, you don’t smoke, you don’t beat your wife, and you don’t kick the aardvark in the backyard. You should run for Governor.’”
By this point Mele has stopped sniffling and was watching him with a mixture of curiosity and doubt. He heard an odd little noise behind him, and turned to look. It was Katsumoto. He had a funny look on his face.
“Oh hi.” said Magnum.
“Magnum.” said Katsumoto by way of greeting, “The social worker is here to ask Mele some questions.”
A woman in a linen suit was standing behind him, talking to Amaya. Magnum turned back to Mele.
“Can you go talk to the lady with your mom?” he said.
She nodded, and scooted off.
“The officers said you were here for the robbery?” Katsumoto said.
“Yeah, I didn’t get a good look at the guy’s face, but I can tell you it was a white guy, about 5’7’, and he had a tattoo of one of those skull moths on the small of his back.”
Katsumoto blinked at him.
“Even armed robbers get plumber butt Katsumoto.”
Katsumoto shook his head and sighed.
One of the officers came up.
“Sir,” she said, “I found this on the ground by the register.”
She handed him a business card that read “Waikiki Food Services llc”.
He felt a puff of warm air on his neck. Magnum was reading over his shoulder.
. . .
That’s how Katsumoto ended up sitting with Magnum at a shaved ice stand on the beach.
“Give me your sunglasses.” said Magnum.
“Why?” asked Katsumoto.
“Because, I need to be on the lookout for this tattoo, and if people see me checking out their butts, they might get the wrong idea. This is a professional operation.”
Katsumoto sighed and handed Magnum his sunglasses. They sat in silence for a while, they needed to make small talk for convincing cover, so Katusmoto said,
“What’s the deal with that woman, what’s her name, Harris, who’s always driving you around?”
“Higgins. She’s Robin’s majordomo, why do you ask?”
“It’s called making small talk. And I was curious. Who’s Robin? Why is their majordomo driving you around?”
“Robin’s an old friend from the Navy, I’m his security consultant. I live at his house. Higgins doesn’t trust me not to crash the cars, so she drives me around.”
“Given your track record, I’d say that’s a wise precaution.”
“Cars?” Katsumoto continued, “This guy is pretty– Hey. You don’t mean Robin Masters? The author?”
“The very same!” Magnum said.
Katsumoto took a moment to process that.
“So whenever he’s talking about ‘Magnus’ in his books he means–?”
Magnum leaned in, smiling and looking at Katsumoto from under is eyelashes.
“So you’ve been reading about my exploits?”
“They seem a little far fetched, even for you.” Katsumoto said.
“You wound me sir!” said Magnum, “They’re all true! Just wait until Robin gets back from his book tour, he’ll tell you all about it.”
The conversation went on in that vein for some time without really going anywhere. They sat around, eating their body weight in shaved ice for most of the day. By the time 5 o’clock rolled around their tongues were unnatural colors, and they still hadn’t caught sight of their guy.
“I think it's time to wrap up for the day.” said Katsumoto, “The stand’ll be closing down soon. I’ll give you a ride.”
They walked back to the parking lot and got in the car. In the car with the doors closed, the smell of Magnum’s sweat intensified. Katsumoto put the key in the ignition and violently repressed the urge to sniff the air. He was not a serial killer, he was not. They came to the four way stop at the end of the parking lot.
“Are you ok?” asked Magnum.
“You have a death grip on the wheel there.”
Katsumoto relaxed his death grip on the wheel.
“Katsumoto my man you need to relax. Maybe get laid.”
Katsumoto turned bright red.
“Magnum now is not– “
At that exact moment, a man in swim trunks came running up and rolled across the hood of the car. For a split second, his back was plastered against the windshield.
He had a tattoo of a Death’s Head Moth on the small of his back.
For a second, they sat there, staring. Then a woman came running past them shouting
Magnum threw open the door.
“Follow that tramp stamp!”
. . .
When they caught up to the thief, the woman had knocked him down, and was straddling his chest, pummeling him with her fists.
Magnum dragged her off and helped her retrieve her cash register while Katsumoto cuffed the thief and read his rights. As they packed him into the car, Magnum turned to him and said,
“You know, if you’re going to be a thief with a death’s head moth tramp stamp, you might want to invest in some high waisted shorts.” said Magnum
“Fuck you!” the man said, “It symbolizes the never ending cycle of life and death!”
“Tell it to the judge.” said Katsumoto.
. . .
It was dark by the time Katsumoto finished booking the guy and getting Magnum’s statement.
“Can I cash in that ride home?” Magnum asked, “Higgins is mad at me because–,” he winced, “well never mind the point is that she’s not picking me up.”
“Sure.” said Katsumoto.
As they got in the car, Magnums phone buzzed and lit up. He looked at it, smiled, and slid it back into his pocket.
“Good news?” asked Katsumoto.
“That was Rick. They’re doing a little impromptu fundraiser for the Kahale’s at the bar tonight and they just hit $200.”
Once again, Katsumoto came up short. Magnum was an irresponsible pain in the ass who had no respect for the law, or anything else. But every so often he would get these glimpses of a kind man who cared for the people around him.
If Katsumoto was honest, it was kind of–
Magnum reclined the passenger seat and stretched luxuriantly. His shirt rode up on his stomach and his back arched. Katsumoto broke out into a light sweat and stole guilty glances at him whenever there was a stop light. The sweet smell of his sweat filled the air, and Katsumoto wondered what if would be like to peel that shirt from that body, to press kisses to that stomach, to bury his head between those thighs.
“-green?” Magnum asked.
“Huh?” said Katsumoto.
“The light turned green.”
He put his foot on the gas. Magnum turned and looked at him intently.
“There’s something going on with you Gordy, you’ve been acting weird all day.
“Stop calling me Gordy.” said Katsumoto.
“Deflecting can’t save you now, I’m on to you.”
He stares, and stares, and stares.
“You’re blushing!” he said, “Katsumoto, could it be that you like what you see?”
“Oh my god.”
“You do! You want to jump my bones!”
“I promise not to let it get in the way of work.”
“That's a real shame!”
Magnum turned to him and said,
“Now, you can take me home right now, and I won’t mention it again. Or,” he said, putting his hand on Katsumoto’s thigh, “or we could go back to your place?”
. . .
Katsumoto got the keys from his pocket and held the door open for Magnum.
“And he’s a gentleman.” said Magnum, stepping over the threshold.
Katsumoto walked in after him. The door closed. Then his back was pressed against the door and Katusmoto was pressed against him, pawing at his butt and nudging a knee between his thighs.
“Rawr!” said Magnum.
Katsumoto groaned and kissed him. It was nice, he had surprisingly soft lips. Then Katsomto ran his teeth over Magnum’s bottom lip, and he shuddered, and melted, and looped his arms around Katsumoto’s neck. Katsumoto started running his fingers through his hair, and Magnum wound a leg around Katsumoto’s.
“Do you have any idea . . . “ said Katsumoto.
What, he didn’t know, because he bucked up into his hand, and that was all it took. Katsumoto growled and scooped him up into his arms, and poured him into his bed. Magnum pushed himself onto his forearms and watch as Katsumoto struggled out of his shirt.
“Do you want me to tear your clothes off of you?” Katsumoto asked, flinging his shirt to the side.
Magnum grinned and started wiggling out of his pants.
Magnum was down to a sock when Katsumoto crawled in between his legs, shuddered, and pressed a kiss to his collarbone, his stomach, his thighs, his,
He scraped his teeth over Magnum’s thigh and licked the spot behind his knee.
“Just a little to the left.” Magnum said.
“Do you ever shut up?” asked Katsumoto.
Then he licked between Magnum’s legs, and Magnum shuddered, opened up, and howled. Katsumo got his arms under Magnum’s thighs and kept going until he shuddered and screamed and then some, beating a heel into Katsumoto’s back in a mad ecstasy.
“God,” said Magnum, pushing Katsumoto away, “God.”
Katsumoto made a strangled noise.
“If you thought that was impressive, you should see what happens when you fuck me.” said Magnum, running his fingers through Katsumoto’s sweaty hair.
Katsumoto made another strangled noise and went for the condoms.
. . .
It had been a while since Magnum’d had someone push him up the bed, and it was fantastic. The headboard thumped against the wall. He opened his eyes. Katsumoto was staring down at him with his dark eyes, running his thumb over magnum’s cheek.
He turned his head and nibbled at Katsumoto’s fingers, grazing the skin with his teeth. Katsumoto groaned, and then Magnum’s knees were next to his ears. And Katsumoto was rubbing his thumb against Magnum’s lips as he fucked him relentlessly.
. . .
“The neighbors are going to complain,” said Katsumoto, yawning.
“Were you under the impression I was going to come quietly?” asked Magnum.
But Katsumoto was already asleep.