Ch 3: Icarus
Kara stumbled into her apartment with a snort of laughter as Lena clung to her back. It was well past two in the morning and while Kara had to stay sober for Supergirl duties, Lena didn’t have to. And she took advantage of that… maybe a little too much. So here she was, glued to Kara’s back and insisting on spending the night because even if we don’t do anything, I don’t wanna be alone . Of course Kara didn’t say no. Dear, sweet, understanding Kara. Her best friend. Her partner in crime. And her frequent fuck buddy that kissed the corner of her mouth at midnight.
A kiss that Lena very nearly turned into out of instinct and was absolutely mortified when she realized she wished she had. If Kara had noticed her blush she didn’t react, and had gone about the bar wishing the rest of their friend group a Happy New Year almost as enthusiastically. Unfortunately, Sam had seen the whole exchange and the aftermath of Lena’s entire face turning vermilion. And unfortunately , she had cornered her in the women’s restroom twenty minutes later, much to Lena’s extreme mortification.
“Do you wanna tell me somethin’?”
“Tell you what?” Lena answered on autopilot as she washed her hands.
Sam handed her a clean paper towel and then drug her by the elbow into one of the furthest corners away from the crowded stalls. “Don’t play stupid.”
Lena had cowered under the extreme Mom Look™ in bewilderment and hiked her shoulders up to her ears. “W-why am I stupid?”
Sam gawped at her incredulously and leaned in close enough so Lena could hear her hissed accusation.
“Kara nearly kissed you. Like, KISSED you, kissed you. I know you two are close, but you’ve been spending A LOT more time with each other and I feel like-”
“Wh-No! No she didn’t, it was an accident. Turned a little too much-”
If Lena could burn any hotter from panic and embarrassment she was sure that she would burst into flame and have to rise from her own ashes. She didn’t know if she’d have the strength to do that. Instead, she tried not to curdle under Sam’s disbelieving look and steeled herself for an explanation she herself wasn’t sure she believed.
“Nothing is going on, it was an accident.”
“Then why are you talking to me in your CEO voice?”
When Lena didn’t answer Sam’s expression crumpled into worry.
“I just don’t want you getting hurt. Either of you. You’re my best friends and I don’t know what I would do if-”
She trailed off and sucked in a steady breath. Her dark eyes pinned Lena to the wall and she took her gently by the elbows.
“I don’t know what’s going on with you two, but be careful.”
Lena ducked her head in a gesture that was more Lena and less Lena Luthor, injecting a sincerity into her voice that almost convinced herself.
“Nothing. Nothing is going on. We’re just hanging out and watching movies we’ve both missed due to traumatic childhoods.”
It wasn’t a TOTAL lie. They HAD been watching movies when they weren’t relieving other tensions. The fight bled out of Sam’s shoulders and her face fell for a different reason. Lena scrambled to turn the conversation away from the direction she had pointed it.
“I promise I’ll tell you if there ever is, but don’t expect it to be with Kara.”
Something gleamed in Sam’s eye and Lena knew that she hadn’t convinced her. But Sam backed off and that had been the end of that particularly uncomfortable conversation.
Lena had tried not to think about that conversation for the rest of the night and fell into one of her worse habits of trying to numb her mind with alcohol. Sam had noticed after she had downed a few too many way too quickly and kept an eye on her the rest of the night, pushing water or snacks into her hands and deterring the bartender when she could. A sober and logical Lena would be thanking her later, but the current drunk Lena just wished she was a little bit number until she could figure out what the hell was going on in her head. It had been getting weirder and weirder every day ever since they had gone to that club together and she didn’t know what to make of it other than she was more than a little scared at what it could be.
What an incredibly fun and unbelievably stupid trip that had been. What had happened in that dim bedroom had stuck firm in Lena’s mind. Too firm. Colored her actions and thoughts and made her second guess herself after she left Kara after that trip kind of firm . Not in a bad way per se, but it left her confused and feeling disappointed when they went on about their lives and they couldn’t just stay in bed for a little while . It left her strongly questioning her motives behind their arrangement and why it kept escalating not just in intensity, but in intimacy too. It absolutely terrified her.
But Lena was long lost now to Kara’s touch and it made her dread the future. Specifically a future that didn’t have Kara in it. Any future without her was one Lena didn’t want to be in. It was a bit dramatic when she thought about it, but the feeling grew stronger every day.
“Kara, ‘m sad.”
Lena paused as Kara let her down and she collapsed into one of the wooden chairs at the low kitchen table. She couldn’t tell Kara the real reason she was sad, especially since she didn’t understand it herself. Instead she latched onto a more believable excuse and squinted up at her best friend through the low golden light from the one light lit in the living area.
“Didn’ get to dance with you tonigh’.”
“You did, we had a good time.”
Lena huffed. “No, I didn’ get to dance with you how I really wanted to. Too many people an’ I couldn’t touch you the way I wanted. Now ‘m too drunk.”
“What if I danced for you right now?”
Kara’s low suggestion made Lena temporarily forget her mounting anxiety about her feelings and fall into the more familiar and easy territory of lust.
“Miss Danvers . How scandalous .”
“Yeah?” She grinned toothily and draped her winter coat over the back of another chair.
“I love how you move, darling. Show me again?”
Kara hummed and held out her hands. “Let’s get more comfortable in my bedroom.”
“You aren’ gonna tuck me in, are you?” Lena pouted, but slipped her slender hands into Kara’s strong grip nonetheless.
“No, I’ll dance a little for you. I promise.” She answered in a placating tone and helped Lena back up to her feet.
Kara shook her head fondly with a grin and tugged Lena back through her apartment. Lena lost her shoes and coat along the way, her purse safely on Kara’s kitchen table. She found herself settled on the end of Kara’s bed with deft fingers carefully undressing her. Lena thought to make a few inappropriate comments but Kara had tugged a loose oversized tee over her head after stripping her out of her sparkly top and bra. Her tight jeans were replaced with some of the comfiest sweatpants she had ever worn and her hair was taken out of its tight updo. She even helped her take out her contacts and slip on the extra pair of large glasses she had left there months ago.
Her whine was cut off by a brush of her thumb on her lips as her best friend slipped past her, the click of her heels commanding her attention. Kara set her glasses down on the desk by the curtain and pinned Lena with a heavy look. She pulled out her phone and set a slow r&b song to play and left it next to her glasses.
“I promised. But just a little bit.”
She pulled the wooden chair at her desk out into the small space in front of her bed, and again held her hands out to Lena. She let herself be pulled off the bed and directed into the chair, her hands splaying over Kara’s thighs for just a moment before she stepped back. Her hips started swaying gently to the beat and her hands started lifting up the hem of her sweater.
“Do me a favor?”
Lena swallowed thickly and forced herself to focus on Kara’s face.
“Don’t touch ‘til I tell you to.”
It took her a moment to register what she had said, but she managed to nod and dropped her hands to the edge of her seat a little behind her hips. Kara grinned, her teeth flashing in the low light before she whipped her sweater up and off in a single smooth motion. She toe’d off her heels but left them neatly in front of Lena as she started pulling the thin, silvery tank top out of the waistband of her jeans. Jeans that had been plaguing Lena all night because they were so tight she thought they were painted on. With each pulse of the soft beat, Kara’s top was tugged up her front, revealing inch by inch of tanned skin and smooth muscle. The low light softened the broad profile of her shoulders and toned arms. Kara pulled the slinky fabric up to just under her breasts, the faint outline of tone abs all that Lena could look at-and then let it drop back down.
Lena frowned as the shirt cut off her view.
“Okay, time for bed.”
“ HEY. ”
Kara laughed at Lena’s offended expression and peeled off her tank top. “Okay, okay.”
The fabric hit the floor with a soft thump . Her gaze dropped instantly to the cute pink bra, cut low and pushing her up into soft cleavage that she wanted to put her face into. Lena was still flustered in half annoyance and half arousal when she circled around behind her and trailed her nails from the top of her shoulders, down her arms, and then jumped to her waist.
“You’re fun to tease.”
Lena twitched as her hot breath washed over the shell of her ear. She sucked in a sharp inhale as warm lips pressed to her skin under the corner of her jaw, and then Kara was passing around her with her fingers dragging heavily back up her arms and then lightly across the top of her shoulders. Just that skim of a touch sent fire racing across her skin and the pull in her hips became more prominent. No, Kara wasn’t doing much dancing, but she was still moving her hips in a way that made Lena hope she didn’t stop any time soon. Her mouth fell open a little bit as she smoothed her hands down her stomach, hooking into the waistband of her jeans, and easily unfastened the button. The toned muscles in her abdomen flexed as she pushed her hips back and her chest forward for a moment, then peeled her pants down her legs in a smooth motion. Her mouth fell open a little further at the sheer excuse of a pair of panties.
Kara started actually dancing then, Lena’s brain somehow missing her getting rid of her pants and keeping her heels. She was too sucked in to the swaying profile of her hips and the partially symmetrical pattern that connected the line of her ribs to the muscles in her stomach. Swaying and circling to the beat like-
“...what?” Kara’s hips slowed as she tried not to laugh.
Lena squeezed her eyes shut and tried to reel her thoughts back in. She could feel her face burning and was annoyed now that she had drunk so much earlier.
“I, erm… I was just, um, watching.”
“Then why are your eyes closed? Didn’t you want to watch me dance?”
Lena opened her eyes again and looked up at Kara with a scrunched nose. If she hadn’t picked up on the teasing tone, the shit-eating grin would have clued her in. Kara quirked a brow at her and took a step closer.
Lena tried to frown at her again but Kara caught her attention with her hands and pulled them back down her body. She got lost in watching her dance, and slowly spin around with a wide arc of her hips, her underwear just barely covering anything, the rhythmic pattern of her hands-
“Are… you doin’ the macarena…?” She blurted out.
“How can you tell when you’re staring at my ass and not me?”
Lena blinked owlishly and looked up at Kara again, who had her hands combed roughly through her hair to hold it out of her face. Her cheeks were pink but there was that familiar sparkle of mirth in her dark eyes. She wasn’t doing the macarena now , but Lena was certain that she had been.
“Are you fucking with me?”
“We are fucking.”
Lena huffed and readjusted her grip on the edge of her seat as her eyes dropped down to her chest, following where the line of her bra curved around her breast. “A nerd and a smart ass.”
“You like it.”
Lena swallowed thickly against the rising heat in her face and the weird swirl of intoxication and arousal. Her eyes dropped to her lap and she squirmed a little when she felt how wet she had become already.
She heard Kara huff a sound of amusement and then the click of her heels drew closer. She looked up as Kara’s hands reached over her shoulders and gripped at the back of the chair. Lena gawped again as she leaned over her, the wild mess of curls tumbling loosely around tanned broad shoulders and her long lean legs straddling her knees. Lena hated the term sex on legs , but she couldn’t think of a better way to describe what she was seeing in her alcohol addled state. Her attraction to Kara had only grown exponentially stronger over the past few months, and she knew she could wax poetic about her when she wasn’t short circuiting like a teen aged boy.
This was pure torture.
“Can I touch you?” Her grip tightened on the edge of the chair again, trying to keep herself from flying away. Kara smirked and Lena knew she was truly in trouble.
Lena watched breathlessly as Kara settled herself onto her lap, wishing that she wasn’t wearing thick sweatpants.
“I wanna feel you.” She mumbled, flexing her grip around the edge of the seat and shifting her legs underneath her weight.
Kara’s brow quirked again and she stood back up, still looming over her with her hands on the back of her chair.
“Take your pants off.”
The commanding tone in Kara’s voice made her scramble to comply, her hands clumsily pushing the thick comfy pants off her hips and down over her knees. She didn’t lean forward and kicked off her borrowed pants as she tried to follow the no touching rule. She wished she had with how the weight of Kara’s gaze was daring her to. She wondered what she would do if she did touch her. But if she had leaned forward it would have brought her closer to her chest, closer to that scrap of underwear, closer to the person she had grown so comfortable to being vulnerable with. It was dangerous and Lena may be drunk but she wasn’t that stupid.
“I let you boss me around on our trip. I think it’s my turn to be in charge for a bit.” Kara informed her as Lena returned her hands to the edge of her seat, already gasping for breath as she physically fought against her swirling thoughts.
Kara sat back down on her lap and sighed when their skin pressed together. She draped her arms over Lena’s shoulders and pressed in close, their chests flush. Her hips rolled heavily into Lena’s and they both sucked in a sharp breath at the feel of her sliding against her.
Kara’s breath was hot on her ear and it was all Lena could do to nod and keep her hold onto her seat. The insides of her thighs brushed against her knuckles and Lena swallowed thickly against the word vomit that threatened to escape. She wanted to tell Kara how good she looked, how good she felt against her. She wanted to touch her and she wanted to use her lips to paint her sentiments into her skin. Lena wanted to draw a map with her mouth from freckle to freckle but kept getting distracted by how Kara was grinding against her. She could feel her against her abdomen and ached for the friction to be just a little bit lower. Kara’s arms unwound from her shoulders and dropped down in between them. Her fingers gathered the hem of her t-shirt and slipped under it.
Lena’s hips jolted up into Kara as she pushed her hands flat to her stomach, nails skimming lightly as they slid up to her chest. Sharp teeth nipped at the soft skin behind her ear and Lena gasped when Kara soothed the spot with her tongue. The pads of her fingers smoothed up and brushed lightly over her nipples and Lena arched into her touch. Kara mouthed her way down to the corner of her jaw and threatened to leave a mark against her pulse. Lena wanted her to leave a mark, self imposed rules be damned. She almost complained when Kara pulled away, but she got side tracked from the touches on her chest and the hips rolling into hers. The soft music in the background didn’t even catch her attention anymore. All of her senses were consumed by Kara and the low aching pull in her hips.
Kara leaned up and watched her with dark eyes, Lena’s borrowed shirt rucked up around her wrists and her fingertips tracing feather light over her breasts. She couldn’t help but look down at her own chest, her stomach doing a weird swoop as she picked out the outlines of Kara’s hands under her shirt. Her eyes slid past and to the miles of tanned skin in front of her. Her gaze followed the rhythmically flexing smooth muscle from the line of her ribs, down the flat planes of her stomach, to the flare of her hips just barely covered by sheer black fabric. Fabric that had ridden dangerously low as she moved and left practically nothing for Lena to imagine. She watched the fabric slip a little lower with a slack jaw and was pulled back to Kara as her hands pressed flat to her ribs. One of her thumbs brushed the underside of her breast, but the other slid heavily down her front. Down to the waistband of her underwear as Lena’s breath caught in her chest, down to just under the elastic, scorching like low burning coals.
Lena unlocked her grip, her hands fumbling over Kara’s thighs and sliding quickly up to the sheer underwear she had been watch slowly slip down her hips. Her thumbs pressed into the crease of her thighs and she splayed her hands wide, greedy in trying to touch as much of her as she could while worming a few fingers underneath the thin fabric. Kara’s skin was hot and Lena felt like she was about to combust as her hips rolled heavily onto her again.
“Wanna tell me why you were drinking so much tonight?”
Kara’s breath was hot on her ear, and just as distracting as the hand pressed flat to her abdomen. A cold spike of panic kicked her hard in her chest.
“...I just… wanted to drink?”
Kara leaned back a little to look her in the eye. “I haven’t seen you drink that much in a long time. What’s wrong?”
It was difficult to focus on the conversation with the heat pooling wetly in between her legs. The fog of the alcohol wasn’t helping either and Lena didn’t know what she wanted anymore. Kara had gotten her vulnerable enough to ask her a dangerous question and she couldn’t help the skittishness that roiled through her.
“I don’t know.”
Kara pursed her lips and Lena knew she didn’t believe her. There was a sad glint in Kara’s dark eyes and the panic was quickly replaced with guilt. Her hands curled tighter on Kara’s hips and she tried to keep herself from bumbling into a disjointed line of consciousness that was still so murky in her own head.
“No, I-I do. I think I do. I don’t know but. I’m… I’m not ready to talk ‘bout it jus’ yet. No, wait- ”
Lena clumsily pressed a hand onto Kara’s wrist as she started to withdraw her hand, trying to hold her in place. Kara stopped and the crinkle formed between her brow. The burn of tears threatened at the back of her throat and she just wanted to press her face into Kara’s sternum. But she needed to be upfront with her even if she couldn’t give her a real answer yet. Face to face just like they had been ever since they started sleeping together. Her voice was low and gravelly as she slowly enunciated the best she could to her.
“Wait. Please. ‘M not running away, ‘m jus’ not ready. Need to… figure stuff out.”
“Have I done something?”
“ No. No. You’re perfect . And so so good .” Lena couldn’t help but reach up and smooth her thumbs soothingly over freckled cheekbones.
“This is not anythin’ you’ve done. It’s somethin’-somethin’ I need to figure out. And then I’ll tell you. I hope. At leas’ when ‘m not drunk.”
Kara was silent for a long moment, her hands still frozen and pressed flat to her ribs and abdomen.
“Do you want to stop sleeping together?”
The question hung heavy in between them and a second spike of panic lanced through Lena’s chest. If anything, Lena never wanted to stop sleeping with her. The thought of losing what she had with Kara was a selfish and confusing kick to the gut. She swallowed it down.
“No. Do you?”
“No.” She whispered immediately, her eyes flickering across her face.
The speed of her answer and small note of panicked worry made Lena want to kiss her. She let her hands slide down to her neck, her thumbs tracing the line of her jaw.
“Kara, jus’. Please ? Touch me?”
“Promise me you’ll talk to me when you’re ready. Promise?”
“Yeah. Pinky promise.”
Kara sighed and her expression softened for a moment, and then-
“Okay. Just a little.”
The hand on her ribs slid away and Kara draped her arm around Lena’s shoulders as she finally slid her fingers down to where she wanted her most, helping her forget about the yo-yo of emotions that had just jerked her around. Lena sighed and let her head roll back against Kara’s forearm as her fingers found her clit. She was already slick and even though the dull alcohol-induced haze was cutting some of the feeling, sparks of pleasure still fueled the slow heavy coil in her hips. Her hands slid to Kara’s shoulders and she tried to ground herself. A particularly firm swipe sent her hips jumping up into Kara’s hand and she moaned. The strong jolt of pleasure made her readjust her hands again, this time wrapping her arms around her back. She clung to her as the pressure pulled tighter in her belly, digging her fingers into her shoulder blades.
“ I wish you wouldn’t drink so much.”
Kara’s breath washed over her chin and Lena’s hands slid roughly down her back. She didn’t elaborate but Lena could easily read between the lines. Numbing her feelings and confusion with alcohol was dangerous and detrimental and a very hard Luthor Habit to break. She knew Kara had a point.
“ I’ll be better. ”
Lena lifted her head back up and pressed her nose into Kara’s jaw.
“ I wanna be better. ”
She placed a heavy, sloppy kiss to her neck.
“ Wanna be better for you. ”
She kissed her neck again and moaned when the fingers on her clit circled tighter. Her skin was too hot and Kara’s body heat was too hot and Lena started remembering Amsterdam again. Started remembering how the muscles under her hands looked flexed with her arms tied behind her back with the leather strips, the black bands a cutting stark contrast against tanned skin. How the pure white liquid wax followed every curve and made her arch away from the mild heat. She moaned again and pressed a messy sucking kiss to the crook of her neck, all teeth and tongue as Kara’s fingers devolved into rough swipes across her clit.
“ Come for me, baby. ”
Kara’s breathless voice was like thick honey, warm and comfortingly sweet, soothing the aches in her chest to help her just let go . Lena came messily against Kara’s hand with a high breathless whine. She panted against her neck and clawed her closer with a strong jump of her hips. Lena felt dizzy from the release in her intoxicated state, spinning out of control with what felt like no end in sight. It was terrifying.
The gentle press of warm lips to the side of her head reminded her to breathe again and she sucked in a desperate breath. She moaned softly into Kara’s shoulder, her chin slick from her own saliva and sweat prickling at her hairline as the fingers on her clit slowed. Lena was completely out of it but she knew that Kara was solid and warm and real against her. Kara let her just breathe for a few minutes, and then she was jostled and the fingers on her clit pulled away. Kara’s weight left her lap and Lena found herself in strong arms for a brief heartbeat before something soft and firm hit her back. Kara left her for a moment and Lena realized groggily that she was on her bed and deft fingers were pulling the discarded sweatpants back up her legs. Her glasses were taken from her face and the weight of blankets was draped across her legs.
She tried to speak but all she managed to do was mumble a half-formed thought and flop a forearm over her eyes as her heartbeat pulsed thickly between her legs. There were sounds in the room of the music cutting off, and then a blur of noise as Kara zipped around the space. Dim lights bled to darkness a few mere seconds later and the bed dipped with her best friend’s weight. The covers were pulled up around her and Lena rolled in the direction of the only other warm body in the bed. Kara’s strong familiar arms pulled her in and Lena sank into her with a tired sigh and a muffled thank you . She molded herself to her, the soft cool cotton of her t-shirt a comforting touch against her hands and face. Lena pressed her brow into Kara’s collar bone and swore that right before she fell asleep, another kiss was pressed into the top of her head with quiet mumbled kryptonian:
“ Please be careful with me. ”
Lena sighed heavily as Kara continued to press heavy kisses down her spine. She felt great . Her work day had gone well, she was already feeling better after a few weeks of doing better about her drinking and exercising, her therapist had given her some encouraging feed back, she actually had been having time and energy for her own home projects, and she still had a long ways to go and had barely started but Lena was excited. But it wasn’t just her own personal changes that were on the upswing, she could tell that Kara was happier that she was feeling better. And just that alone made Lena happy. It was a big cycle of hey this is great wrapped up in that dangerous honeymoon mentality.
As she laid there while warm lips pressed into her skin Lena thought about what it meant to actually be happy , and the very obvious and painful answer for her was Kara. Of course she had realized that her feelings for her were a bit more than friendly. Hell, she was sleeping with her , but it wasn’t just that anymore. Sleeping with Kara wasn’t just a means to an end to stave off her libido and stress. It was deeper and more intertwined than she had realized until it was, quite frankly, too late. She had finally started mentally unpacking it all which was a true feat considering she was a huge fan of overzealously compartmentalizing, and boy was it messy. Lena had been taking it baby step by baby step and each new fragment chipped away made her want to reach for that very nice bottle of scotch. But she didn’t. Or not as much as she used to. Instead she busied her hands with her work or cycled at home on her stationary bike until her legs burned and the pain of the most recent realization was nothing but a fact. An unfortunate fact, but still reduced to one that she could chew a little easier.
“Lift your hips for me?”
Lena shifted and pushed her hips up, the towel a little scratchy against her knees. And Kara?
Lena didn’t know what was going on in her head. Nothing was wrong , but she had been catching her looking at her differently. Still sweet and warm, but there was a note of something sad that she didn’t always hide away in time. They were just flashes amidst her usual sunny self. When she had asked her a few times what was wrong she always had an excuse. But Lena knew when she was lying and each dodging reply had left her second guessing. Granted some excuses were fairly solid, but Lena couldn’t help but wonder-
Her swirling thoughts mercifully ended with Kara’s tongue painting a hot stripe through her.
“Let me know if something doesn’t feel good.”
Her breath was hot on her and Lena murmured a simple okay in response.
This wasn’t Lena’s first rodeo, but it was Kara’s. To help her she had given her probably too much to read up on, and had dug out her plugs that had been at the bottom of a bin in her closet. She had been wearing them on and off at home for a few weeks now, and even to Kara’s a few times. Lena joked that this was Kara’s activity to pay her back for buying the toys in Amsterdam. She had insisted that it didn’t matter, but Kara was determined and Lena was happy to let her have her way. So she prepared. And Kara finally got a night off from Supergirl duties to dedicate to her and their new activity .
Lena sighed again as Kara started licking into her, slowly drawing patterns over her. Each touch left a trail of tingling pleasure that brought the heat settling in her hips to coil. Her tongue rolled lightly over her clit and Lena tried not to rock back when she felt her nose bump against her. Her breath hitched in her chest when she licked heavily into her, greedily sliding her tongue in to taste. She was warm and wet and Lena moaned breathlessly into the covers as she slid her tongue into her a few times, drawing out quick zips of sparks with slick friction. Awkward pawing across the bed next to her caught her attention and Lena lifted her head up to see what Kara was doing.
Kara’s fingertips were just out of reach of the bottle of lube. She snorted a laugh and pushed the bottle into her hand.
“Easy, grandma. Do you need your glasses?”
Kara withdrew her tongue from her with a huff.
“Excuse you, I am a cougar .”
Lena’s laugh turned into an oh my god as she leaned back in and sucked her clit into her mouth. There was a quiet snap of her opening the cap, and then a slick thumb was rubbing softly against her anus. Her tongue kept working over her but Lena could tell that she was hesitating. Lena pillowed her face on her arms and just barely rocked back into her. Her face warmed with a blush as Kara hummed a soft surprised sound against her.
“I’m ready any day now, Kara.” She mumbled into her forearm.
The lips sucking her in let go with a wet smack . “You sure?”
“You won’t hurt me. Just go slow.”
Kara hummed again in answer and put her mouth back on her. Her thumb passed over her a few more times, and then pressed slowly in. Warmth blossomed up her spine and Lena hid her face in her arms as Kara pushed her thumb in to the first knuckle. She moaned softly as she started to shallowly thrust into her, creating more liquid heat with slick friction. Lena told her a throaty more after a few minutes, and groaned into her forearm as she sank her thumb in. Each slide of her thumb sent zips up her spine. Her tongue laved into her messily and her hips rolled back onto her tongue and thumb in an effort to encourage her to be a little bolder. Kara’s thumb slipped out of her and Lena heard the bottle cap snap again.
Her heart leapt into her throat when she felt two fingers press against her, and then her brain short circuited when they slowly pressed in. Her breath left her in a hiss as Kara stretched her, shallowly thrusting her fingers in until she was past the first knuckle, then the second. A loud, dirty moan tore from her chest as she finally pushed her fingers in all the way. Her hips rocked back on Kara’s hand and jolted when she pulled her clit into her mouth again. Kara’s nose pressed against her entrance and Lena couldn’t help but whine at the hint of a touch. The heat in her belly tightened as the fingers in her ass started slowly thrusting into her, pouring molten hot heat up her back and coiling heavily in her hips. Kara’s tongue was a gentle roll of pattern across her clit, warm and wet and cinching the knot tighter in her in her belly.
“ Kara, please -”
Lena didn’t quite know what she was trying to say, but she knew what she wanted and the pressure on her clit increased. A long moment of bold passes over her clit and full thrusts into her had her sucking in shallow breaths. Lena had moved her arms to find better grips twisted in the sheet and her forehead was pressed into the bed. Sparks zipped to the tips of her fingers and toes and Lena found herself tumbling headfirst into a heady orgasm. She ground back into Kara’s touch with a breathless moan, wishing Kara’s nose bumping against her was something different. The lips sealed around her clit finally pulled away and Lena felt like she could breath a little again. Hot breath washed over her slick folds and she gasped when Kara licked through her, and dipped into her briefly with a pleased hum.
“How was that?”
Lena sighed in approval. “ Good .”
She felt Kara huff against her at her answer, and groaned softly when she withdrew her fingers. Lena propped herself up onto her elbows with some effort and twisted to look behind her. Kara had sat up onto her knees and was pulling the harness with the petite sunset colored dildo already attached towards her. Her face was flushed and her lips, chin, and tip of her nose were wet from Lena’s arousal. She looked at the strap-on, to her messy hand, to Lena’s ass, back to her hand, and then started awkwardly shuffling off the bed with a red face.
“Um, let me just-” Kara zipped into the bathroom and Lena heard her washing her hands.
She was back a moment later, still flushed and dark eyed with a slick chin. Lena watched her step into the harness and hastily cinch the buckles. Her heart was in her throat as she climbed back onto the bed and picked up the bottle of lube again.
Lena nodded and stuttered some form of yeah as her eyes got caught on the subtle flex and pull of Kara’s abdominal muscles. She swallowed back a moan as she watched her squirt some lubricant into her palm and curl her fingers around the dildo. Her hand made slick sticky sounds along the length of the toy. Kara wiped her hand off half-heartedly on the towel laid down and shuffled up to her hips. A hand splayed wide over her rear and then she felt the cool silicone pressing against her. Lena only had a moment to take a breath before the new stretching robbed her of the ability to prop herself up.
Kara said something in kryptonian behind her but Lena was too busy pressing her face down into the mattress and trying not to fall apart too quickly. Logically she knew the dildo wasn’t actually that big, but it certainly felt like it. A whine high in her chest was muffled into the bed as Kara started to move at a controlled pace, thrusting in inch by inch, each slide of the silicone stroking heat into her. A hand started crawling around her hip and she cried out softly, feeling lightheaded when Kara’s hips touched her rear. Her thrusts became bolder as she finally bottomed out inside her and Lena felt as if her insides were turning to jelly. Kara mumbled something and then leaned over her.
“ Oh fu-hah- ”
Her verbal response to the toy changing its angle was cut off as warm fingers found her clit again. Lena moaned, high and feminine in her chest as the fingers started circling in time with the strap-on. She could feel Kara’s breasts skimming against her shoulder blades as her hips ground steadily into her, egging her on with the touch of her hand. Kara shifted again and slid her other arm under her chest. Lena gasped as long fingers found a nipple and teased. She arched her back, rocking up into Kara’s hips and pressing her chest down into her hand, feeling like coals were smoldering low in her belly.
“ Im ehl te zil.”
The curious kryptonian words were pressed into her shoulder with a kiss. Kara’s breath was hot against her skin and it felt like she was everywhere . She was on her, in her, under her skin. Lena felt like she couldn’t get close enough and it was making her chest ache. She whined more and Kara’s hips snapped forward firmly, drawing a throaty exclamation of FUCK from her. Each slide of Kara’s hips against her and the silicone inside her made her toes curl at the overwhelming heat that was simmering in her hips. Lena felt like liquid gold. She was molten against Kara and teetering on the brink of release as her hips twitched with the fingers pressing into her clit, slick with arousal and lubricant. Each touch felt magnified and Lena felt her breath start to freeze in her chest.
“ Kara- ”
Lena pressed her hips mindlessly back into Kara as white hot pleasure bled into her, seizing her senses and reducing her to a shivering mess. Kara led her through her release with softer touches and murmured words of comfort into the side of her neck. It was intense and mind numbing and Lena felt great . So good that the gentle circles on her clit pushed her to a second more intense orgasm that robbed her of the ability to even think, let alone breathe. She could just feel Kara inside her, still grinding into her with blinding heat, still moving her fingers over her almost too sensitive clit even as her hips jumped.
“ Breathe. ”
Lena gasped wetly against the bed and realized the sheet was damp from where she had pressed her open mouth into it. She gradually slumped bonelessly in her arms, feeling ridiculous as tears started to burn the back of her throat. She didn’t want to cry but it was just so much and she still didn’t know if it was too much. Her breathing was rough and ragged and her fingers felt wooden from how tightly they had been twisted in the sheets. The towel was still a little scratchy under her knees.
Kara stilled her hips and hand, but didn’t pull away. Instead of saying anything she just started pressing kisses into her skin again. The ache of tears subsided after a few minutes of Kara curled protectively around her and Lena became very aware of a new ache in her body. She was tired, sticky, sweaty, and feeling thoroughly fucked. She hadn’t felt this spent since Kara had taken her over and over in her office.
The fingers on her clit swiped lazily over her and sent her hips jolting weakly at the sensation, which in turn made the strap-on shift inside of her and send a new zip of sparks down to her toes. Lena moaned breathlessly as Kara’s fingers slowly started swiping wide circles against her. Her body was already warming back up as warm kisses started to move back down her spine again, and she felt the best she had in a long time.
Lena gasped as she flew through the air. All she could see was the dim ceiling of her bedroom and then her back hit her mattress. She bounced and Kara was there, hot kisses covering her neck as her strong hands grasped at the front of her button up silk blouse and tugged . Her breath whooshed from her lungs as she struggled to untangle herself from her newly torn garment, the faint sound of buttons clattering across the hardwood floor barely catching her attention. Kara’s hands moved to the fastenings of her skirt and her mouth wandered higher, over the edge of her jaw.
A growl tore from her chest as she finally managed to free her arms and started scrabbling at removing Kara’s sweater. Her heart lurched in her chest when an insistent mouth slid over her cheek and pressed kisses close to the corner of her mouth. Lena’s last nerve stretched thin and if it snapped, she’d kiss her.
Plain and simple.
Lena wanted to kiss her so badly it ached. It had started sometime last fall and she hadn’t realized what was happening until just after the new year.
Lena had fallen for Kara.
She had fallen for Kara hard .
She didn’t want this arrangement anymore, she just wanted Kara . She wanted to hold her whenever she wanted, touch her and actually be able to pour her heart into it. She felt as if she was crumbling every time they slept together now and she couldn’t properly kiss her. Lena wanted the relationship. She wanted to come home to her, cook in the kitchen with her, argue over who would wash the dishes next until Kara put a chore chart on their refrigerator. She wanted to have a pet or three with her, she wanted to wake up late on the weekends and lay in bed until noon with her.
Lena was pretty sure she was in love with Kara.
“ What is it? ”
Kara’s voice held a raspy quality, the fire of their argument over something incredibly stupid having fizzled to a different kind of heat. Panic lanced through Lena’s chest when she realized the sudden veer of her thoughts had made her freeze. She shunted the painful thought aside and bodily stripped Kara out of her sweater. She needed to get her mind off of such things and Kara, sweet Kara the catalyst of her desires, was the closest thing present to help her forget. Lena was so far over the line they had tried to draw in their relationship and had fallen so hard she was Icarus plummeting to earth.
“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”
“Rao take you, Kara, just FUCK me!”
The heated and very kryptonian oath she barked with bared teeth caught Kara so off guard she couldn’t help but gawp down at her for a moment. Kara had said similar phrases out of anger and frustration, but very rarely. Lena had never spoken it out loud before, but it had just slipped out. She was suddenly afraid that she had truly screwed up as Kara’s eyes glowed briefly for a long moment, swirling white hot blue and dangerously sharp. But Lena couldn’t find any hurt in the look. Just frustration. And helplessness.
“ Like an animal? ”
Before Lena could form a coherent thought to rebuke her sharp jab, her hands jerked down the zipper of her skirt and roughly pulled it down her legs. Anger roared up in her chest again and she firmly planted her foot on Kara’s shoulder, keeping her at a distance for a moment.
“ No. ”
Their heavy breathing was loud in Lena’s bedroom. A heavy tension pulled tight between them, tighter than anything Lena had ever felt before. Tight enough to choke her next words to a whisper hissed through bared teeth.
“ You’re not an animal. You’re MINE.”
Lena didn’t know why she said such a possessive thing. Kara did not belong to her, but this moment between them did.
There was another shift between them, like a fissure in a fault where tectonic plates collide and grind to form mountains. Kara released a ragged breath and was upon her again, carefully moving her foot off of her shoulder and pressed her into the mattress with the weight of her body with an unreadable expression. Her mouth blazed fiery hot across her neck again, and then lower. Her tongue painted hot stripes down her chest and they both fumbled with her bra. Kara’s hips pressed insistently into her own, the rough front of her jeans rocking into her, creating a dull ache from the friction against her thin underwear. Lena was more than confused but god help her she was a mess. And she wanted Kara.
Eventually the bra made it off of her torso and Kara’s did too, and then Lena was arching her back and pushing her chest closer to the mouth that had enveloped one of her nipples. A gasp and moan tore themselves from her as sharp teeth nipped at her, sending a bolt of prickly heat straight to her core. Kara painted rosy marks across her breasts with flashing teeth, lending just enough force to sting, but never hurt. By the time she relented Lena was gasping for breath and grinding shamelessly into the fly of Kara’s pants. In a blur of motion, Kara left her for just a moment, only to return with her cape and a handful of items.
Powerful hands easily lifted her hips and slung the blood red cape under them. Kara set her back down and hastily stripped out of the rest of her clothing, her bare chest flushed and heaving in the low light. The material of the cape was sleek and cool under her hips. Just as she pushed up onto her elbows Kara was upon her again, pressing her back down onto the bed with her mouth on her breast. Lena let her, and let the fire of her frustration with her burn low and hot into desire. The coals in her chest slid to sit heavily in her hips as the fight that had gripped her writhed in its death throes. It was a jarring transition.
Kara didn’t stay long where she was, and jumped from her chest to her hips. Lena hissed as sharp teeth nipped again at her skin, but arousal lurched in her belly when they caught the elastic waistband of her ruined underwear. There was a tearing sound, and Kara’s head jerked away from her as her hands pinned her hips to the cape. Lena’s heart leapt into her throat as the second garment was torn from her body, and she barely had time to think as Kara threw it behind her and eagerly settled between her legs. She shouldered her thighs and spread her with her thumbs, only then glancing up at Lena.
“ Mine. ”
It was more growl than language, and Lena lost her breath again with a shiver as her tongue laved heavily through her. Kara wasn’t rough with her tongue, but she was enthusiastically thorough. She stayed on her, teasing and sucking her into her mouth, alternating between dipping deep into her and trying to take in as much of her as she could. There was a snap of a plastic lid and then a moment later a finger was rubbing gently at the tight ring of muscle. Lena’s heart lurched as Kara sucked her mouth into her clit, and then pushed the tip of her finger into her anus.
A low throaty moan tore itself from her chest as Kara stayed on her and started carefully stretching her. Bit by bit she worked her finger into her pushing and sliding and making her feel oddly filled. Somewhere around a distracting suck on her clit, Kara pressed in with two fingers. Her heart leapt into her throat and she moaned high in her chest as she filled her. Her fingers twisted in the heavy fabric of Kara’s cape and she rolled her hips up into her. It was still somewhat of an alien feeling to her after so long, but Kara was slick and warm and Lena could feel so much of her. It was positively heady. She lost track of time as Kara brought her up to the edge, and then teased her back, sucking marks into her hips as she continued to pump her fingers into her. Lena was a shaky mess just moments in and she wasn’t sure how they had gotten from arguing over something completely inane to this .
“ Color? ”
The hum of Kara’s question made her hips jump and her heart crawled into her throat. Even though there was still an edge to their touches, Kara was still checking in on her and it made her want to cry .
“ Green. ”
Kara sucked almost too strongly on her clit, hard enough to make Lena cry out with the overwhelmingly strong zip of pleasure, and then she was withdrawing from her. Lena sucked in a few deep breaths as Kara was a blur of motion next to her, and then she was being bodily flipped. The cape was cool against her stomach, and then strong hands were lifting her hips into the air. Kara helped her get her knees under her on the slippery cape and the mattress dipped behind her. A quick controlled spank had her heartbeat heavy between her legs. The was another quiet snap of a plastic top, some sticky sounds, and then Kara was pressing the tip of her strap-on against her anus. Warm hands smoothed down her back, a little wet from the lubricant, and then back up to hook around her hips.
“ You want this? ”
Lena huffed an impatient sound and rocked back onto the silicone, growling in annoyance when it just slipped against her. Kara made a breathless noise and one of her hands left her hip. And then the silicone was pressing, pressing , pushing slickly into her. Fire raced up her spine and she could feel slick heat pulsing in her core. Her moan was muffled in the bedspread spread and her hips sank a little when Kara rocked into her. It was a lot and Lena could barely hold back the base desire to rock back into her. Hard .
“ Fuck, I want you. ” She moaned. “ Fuck me, Kara -“
The silicone sank into her and Lena could feel how far inside her it was, and how close Kara’s hips were. Her breath whooshed from her lungs when Kara pulled out to the tip, and then firmly thrust back in. The slick friction was delicious heat that made her toes curl. Lena groaned into the bedspread and squeezed her eyes shut. Everything felt almost too sensitive as her nerves jittered under her skin. Kara thrust back into her with a quiet curse and started a slow rhythm, smoothing her hands over her rear and pulling her hips back and into her. Just when Lena started to get her footing, strong arms slid under her front and pulled her upright in a smooth pull. The silicone shifted differently inside her and Lena lost her breath again as she sat fully onto Kara. Kara held her there for a moment, her hot breath heavy against the crook of her neck, and then ground her hips purposefully up into her. A hand smoothed down her front and Kara found her clit with the pads of her fingers as the other found one of her nipples.
Lena’s hips jolted at the touch and she melted back into Kara’s chest. She moaned long and low as Kara started her fingers circling around her, matching the pattern of her touch with the slow thrusts of the strap-on in her ass. The hand that had been squeezing her breast slid up and splayed possessively over the front of her neck. She didn’t press against her, letting her palm just barely skim against the freckle in the center of her throat, and then long fingers were holding her loosely around the chin as two of her fingers slid into her mouth. Lena welcomed them with her tongue, vaguely registering the acrid smell of soap and hand sanitizer. A weird emotion lurched in her chest when she realized that these had been the fingers inside her. Her train of thought was obliterated when two fingers pressed into her core.
Kara’s fingers curled firmly into her in time with the thrust of her hips and Lena felt her world tilt on its axis. Her hips rolled shamelessly into Kara’s hips and hand as she urged her to give her more. She clutched at the forearms pressed against her, trying to find something to hold on to. Kara curled her fingers and Lena jumped when the pads of her fingers rubbed against a spot inside her.
“ Do that again. ” She slurred around the fingers against her tongue.
In response, Kara added a third finger and sparks shot across her vision as she stretched around the added digit in a staticky surge of pleasure. Lena couldn’t help but whine in frustration as the fingers thrust shallowly into her and doing exactly not what she wanted, but she couldn’t help but like how she felt with Kara filling her. And then without a warning, the fingers reached deeper and found that spot again as she thrust firmly into her from behind. Lena slumped against her as heavy heat coiled low in her hips. She moaned around the fingers in her mouth as Kara started thrusting into her and kept her fingers on that one spot, making her hips jump at the different touches of slick friction. The heel of her hand pressed on her clit and the fingers inside her rubbed more firmly over that one spot, building a dull heavy pressure in her hips.
Lena could feel herself stumbling closer to release and gasped when teeth nipped at the top of her shoulder. She closed her lips over the fingers in her mouth and sucked. Lena felt Kara release a shaky gasp against her shoulder, and then her lips were pressed against her and sucking a mark into her skin. It still wasn’t too close to her neck, so Lena let her dot a few more marks onto her skin, more preoccupied with the silicone thrusting slickly into her and the fingers rubbing firmly against that same spot over and over and over . She was teetering on the edge and gasped when Kara pulled her lips across the top of her shoulder and to the crook of her neck. It felt as if she couldn’t get enough air and her thighs were shaking as she tried to stay upright through the multiple points of pleasure in between her legs driving her to a brainless mess. She let go of a high breathless moan when sharp teeth pressed against the side of her neck just above her collar bone. Kara didn’t bite down but Lena wanted her to. She just bared her teeth against her, breathing her in as her hips and hand kept moving inside her.
White hot heat blossomed in her hips and pleasure crashed through her as she finally came with a moan. Her eyes rolled back into her head and Lena became lost in the slick friction still pulsing hotly between her legs. Something else came with her orgasm and she felt her whole body blush as she came wetly all over Kara’s hand in a way she never had before. The warm slick fluid coated the fingers still curling firmly into her and ran down the inside of her thighs. It wasn’t much in volume, but she could hear it dripping onto the red cape under her and she let her head loll back onto Kara’s shoulder, and gasped for breath. Kara hummed smugly against her neck and Lena could feel her smiling.
“ I didn’t know you could squirt. ”
Lena didn’t either. She could only moan in response as Kara thrust into her again with slick fingers and silicone, and gently pulled her fingers from her mouth. She slid her hand down to press flat against her sternum, holding her close to her chest. Lena sucked in a few deep breaths, feeling too hot and too uncaring to be embarrassed at that particular moment.
“ Color ?”
Lena breathed Green- and gasped again as Kara withdrew her fingers from her core. She was a sticky sweaty mess, tired and flushed as strands of her hair clung to her face feeling bonelessly slack. Lena let go of Kara’s forearm and licked her dry lips as she scrabbled around for something next to them. She held up an electric blue dildo in her wet grip. Lena looked at it, realizing what was about to happen. It was still thicker than Kara’s fingers and a little bigger than the one Kara was wearing. A thrill ran through her body.
“ Hold the base. ”
Lena reached up with a shaky hand and wrapped her fingers around the flared base, and watched Kara pump her hand along the shaft, smearing her own come on it. Heat flooded her face and she swallowed thickly as Kara took it from her.
“ Still green? ”
“ Very green.” She managed, wrapping her grip around Kara’s wrist and tugging it down.
Kara pressed a sloppy kiss to the side of her neck and brought the new dildo between Lena’s legs. Her breath hitched in her chest as the rounded smooth tip rubbed against her, and then Lena guided Kara’s hand until it was pressing against her entrance. There was a little pressure, and then Kara was pushing inside her. Lena felt her groan softly against her through her back but it was nearly lost under her own loud moan.
Lena thought she might shake apart.
Her strength bled from her already tired body as she stretched around the new dildo. It felt larger than it actually was thanks to the silicone already in her ass and Lena felt as if she was going to burn up. The arm around her chest tightened when Kara’s fingers gripping the base of the dildo pressed flush to her. Lena tightened her hold on Kara’s forearm and reached back and found the waistband of her strap-on. Kara breathed heavily against her damp skin and then rolled her hips up and into her with a hiss.
Lena knew she was saying something but all she could hear was Kara fucking her. She set a slow rhythm with her hips, holding her up and into her chest as she kept her hand and the electric blue dildo steady. Sparks danced around the edge of her vision as Kara, for lack of better vocabulary, physically filled her to the point where all she could feel was heat. Kara was hot and strong against her back and Lena was a human-shaped blob of jelly against her. She heard Kara mutter something into her neck, and then felt as if she were going to melt as her hand started moving the blue dildo. Lena couldn’t have picked her head up off of Kara’s shoulder if she tried, her eyes squeezed shut as she tried to make sense of what was happening. Her hips twitched into Kara’s hand and the movement changed the angle of the blue dildo just enough that molten heat curled up her spine.
“- baby ?”
Lena could only moan in response at the question her brain was too frazzled to register. Kara must have taken it as an adequate answer because her hips thrust into her a little firmer and faster. Her hand followed suit and Lena couldn’t get enough air as her wrist bumped into her clit with each thrust. She couldn’t breathe, all of her nerve endings were firing and staticky zips of lightening pleasure were crackling hotly in her hips. Her vocal chords had a mind of their own and she was mildly thankful that they were at her apartment where she didn’t have any neighbors that could hear her scream. Her hips jolted when Kara’s teeth pressed into the crook of her neck again. She vaguely realized that she was slurring something unintelligent about her biting her, begging her to bite her. Never in her life had she wanted something so badly and fire erupted in her chest when perfect white teeth gently closed over her without actually biting her, just giving her the sensation that she would. It was enough and Lena felt coiled tighter than a spring as her chest started to arch up towards the ceiling.
Her lungs finally drew in a full breath. Kara bottomed out inside her. She let go.
She knew she wasn’t breathing from the tightness in her lungs, but that’s where her higher cognitive thoughts ended. Her body was a blindingly hot meteor burning up in Kara’s atmosphere. She couldn’t move. She couldn’t think. She could only feel. She could only feel herself squeezing tightly around the silicone still thrusting into her. She could only feel the steel band of an arm holding her against a solidly warm body. She could only feel Kara’s lips moving against her neck as she spoke to her. What she was saying was beyond comprehension but she heard Lena and baby .
A quick nip from sharp teeth on the top of her shoulder reminded her to breathe again. The breath that had frozen in her lungs left in a rush and sent her gasping for breath. She felt too hot against Kara and too chilly where the cool apartment air hit her skin damp with sweat. Lena could feel her hair sticking to her neck and face as a single drip of sweat tracked down her chest. Kara was unmoving, still sunk into her. Lena only realized she was letting her catch her breath with the quiet murmur of Again? was spoken against her skin. She gasped a broken yes , and then Kara threw her back into the clouds with a roll of her hips.
“How sad are we?” Kara joked, stuffing another potsticker into her mouth. “Well, maybe not sad . But it’s kinda funny that we’re hanging out on Valentine's day.”
“Kelly called it a Galentines and I almost vomited.” Lena answered from the kitchen, Kara’s largest and heaviest knife in her fist. “And if you think spending Valentine’s with your best friend is sad then I’ve lost you to the corporate hype. Come back, Kara, don’t let Hallmark color your expectations.”
“ I know , I know, I’m being dramatic. But-hey, uh ...I know you like pointy things, but-” She paused to laugh when Lena raised her brow at her suggestively and waggled the knife. “- stop that -but you know I have super strength. Right?”
Lena pursed her lips and picked up the coconut.
“But I want to hit it.”
Kara made an unimpressed noise and rose from her seat, leaving their mostly eaten meal on the coffee table. “ I don’t want to make an ER visit tonight. Just think of the tabloids, Billionaire Lena Luthor Loses Finger in Coconut Catastrophe .”
“That is horrendous don’t ever say that again. And I’ve done this before! So hush.”
Kara slid in behind her and slipped her hands into the back pockets of Lena’s jeans. “Yeah, but I like your fingers. I’d rather you keep all ten of them.”
Heat crawled up Lena’s neck and her stomach swooped as Kara pressed in close, her hands gently squeezing her rear. She adjusted her grip on the kitchen knife, turning the blade up.
“I will lose a finger if you keep distracting me.”
Kara stilled. “Go ahead then.”
Lena brought the spine of the knife down onto the coconut in a series of sharp blows until the shell cracked latitudinally. The water inside sloshed and started to drip into the glass bowl.
“Okay Miss Super Strength. Make yourself useful and get all the meat out. Without the skin please.”
Kara leaned bodily into her for a brief moment with a grumble. “Awe, that’s the boring part.”
“You said you wanted coconut. Why do you even have this thing, by the way?”
“Yeah, but now my hands are almost in your pants and that’s better.”
“ Kara .”
Lena laid the knife down carefully when the hands in her pockets squeezed a little more firmly. She set the coconut down into the bowl and braced her hands on the counter top when warm breath puffed over the back of her neck. She let her eyes slip closed as soft lips brushed against her skin.
“I guess you don’t want a snack anymore?”
“I have a different snack in mind.”
Lena had to snort a laugh. “That was awful .”
“Mmph.” Kara answered, placing a very tongue-heavy kiss to the side of her neck.
Each touch of Kara’s mouth to her skin sent jolts of heat down her spine to settle heavily in between her legs. The hands in her pockets crept around to the fasten of her pants. Lena didn’t want to voice it, but she was happy that she was spending Valentine’s with Kara. She had even felt giddy about it. Cheesily over the moon.
Even if they didn’t have sex tonight she’d still be happy. She had only mildly panicked about it earlier, but Lena realized that she had never been this happy in her other real romantic relationships. That realization alone had solidified some already rock solid things in her head for her and god she was terrified.
Deft fingers popped open the button to her jeans and hesitated. Lena waited patiently to see what Kara would do. Kara hummed in mild frustration against her damp skin, and then removed her lips for a moment to prop her chin up on her shoulder. Lena let her eyes flutter open and she caught the tip of Kara’s nose out of her peripheral vision.
“...maybe I do want some of that…”
Lena rolled her eyes but couldn’t stop the smile that tugged at the corner of her mouth.
“If you get that coconut anywhere near my vagina I will murder you myself.”
Kara’s full-body laugh warmed her to the core, bright and happy and enveloping. She buttoned Lena’s pants back up and gently shuffled her to the side by her hips.
“I won’t, I promise.”
Lena couldn’t help herself and spanked her gently, earning another snort of amusement from her friend. She set about cleaning up their mess in the living room while Kara busied herself with her snack. By the time Lena was putting away their leftovers, there was already a growing pile of cleaned pure white coconut meat in a second smaller bowl. But her paring knife had stalled and she was watching Lena with her hands covered in water and coconut oil. A faint blush was dusting her freckled cheekbones and her eyes were that weird look again. An unreadable far-off stare that was bordering melancholy. Lena had been noticing it more and more ever since the holidays and it was beginning to unnerve her.
“What is it?”
Kara jumped and her face reddened as she came back to herself. “O-oh, um, yeah, sorry. You just, um, look really pretty tonight.”
A surge of affection made Lena’s chest feel light as a feather and her face warmed with a blush. “Thank you.”
Kara grinned sunnily at her and went back to her task, blowing through the rest of the coconut using her super speed and only splattering the counter a little bit. “Wanna watch something?”
Lena reeled her betraying feelings back in and started loading the dishwasher. “What did you have in mind?”
Kara made an I dunno sound, chewing some of her new snack. Lena started rattling off a few that they had both been interested in as she rinsed the dishes and put them into the wire racks of the machine.
“Well there was that new Amy Adams movie, that looked good. Or you said you wanted to watch that documentary on penguins? That looked cute.”
“Did you know that penguins mate for life?” Kara blurted out.
Lena balked at the sudden interjection and Kara blushed hotter. “So… penguins?”
“Uh-“ Kara quickly cleaned up her mess. “Y-yeah. Penguins.”
Lena gave her a curious look and finished loading the dishwasher as Kara fled from the kitchen and straightened up the living room. Eventually they found themselves curled up on the couch and engrossed in the documentary. Or at least Lena was until Kara kept fidgeting about twenty minutes in. She made it about ten more minutes before reaching for the remote and hitting pause, unable to pay attention with Kara shifting next to her. The screen froze and the sound cut abruptly with a touch of a button and Lena turned in her seat to look at Kara.
“What is it?”
She kept her voice soft and even as she repeated her question from earlier. Kara blushed and half-shrugged as her eyes stayed glued to her fingers twisted in her lap. Lena reached over and covered her hands with one of her own, smoothing her thumb comfortingly over her knuckles.
Lena paused for a beat, keeping up the rhythm of her thumb. Kara looked as if she were trying to say something but her mouth wouldn’t work.
“What are you thinking about?”
A myriad of emotions bled across Kara’s face, one right after the other so fast she couldn’t keep up. When Kara finally looked at her, her jaw was set and her eyes were wide and trusting.
“Tie me up.”
“I know-I-I know you know how. And I would like you to, if that’s okay.”
Lena swallowed thickly. Yes, it was true. She knew how. But it had been a long time and her memory was a bit murky. However that wasn’t what was making her hesitate.
“It can make you feel restricted.” She began slowly, gently, as her hand pressed down on top of Kara’s. “Confined, if not done properly.”
“I trust you.”
Lena tried to find a kinder way to say what she was thinking but Kara beat her to the punch.
“I know my claustrophobia from previous events in my life may make this… unenjoyable. But I still want to try.”
Lena watched her closely, looking for any kind of sign that would make her put her foot down. Either Kara had really learned how to hide such a tell, or she was absolutely serious in her confidence in Lena. She really wanted this. Lena relented with a soft sigh.
“Finish watching the documentary, do you want to do it here or at my place?”
Kara melted into the couch and Lena realized she had been shoring up her defenses to build an argument in case she had refused.
“Can we do it here?”
Lena hauled herself up out of their nest, already pulling out her phone and sending a message to her driver. “Yes. Sit tight, I’ll be back soon.”
Kara pulled one of the many pillows closer to her chest and nodded as she reached for the remote. Lena took that as her sign to actually follow through with this. Within just a few moments she had slipped on her shoes, bundled up, reassured Kara one more time that she would be back, and slipped out of the apartment. The ride home passed Lena by in a haze as she started looking up knots and loops to refresh her memory, while still keeping Kara’s claustrophobia in mind. Tying her arms back while pulling a lattice across her body would be something she would skip over in favor of making sure she didn’t feel too crowded. Cotton was also preferable over hemp for the time being. By the time she arrived at her apartment there were sixteen new tabs open on her phone and three videos ready to be watched. The speaker from beyond the partition crackled.
“ Shall I wait here, Miss Luthor? ”
“Yes, please. I’ll only be a few moments. Actually-” She paused and calculated the time of the drive over, to the drive back, and how much she would have in between. “-I’ll be back in twenty minutes.”
“ Very good, Ma’am. ”
Lena gathered her coat about her and slid from the town car, her heeled boots dull against the pavement as she quickly strode to the lobby doors. A doorman held the enormous glass and brass door open for her and she tossed him a quick good evening when he greeted her. She rushed in and didn’t look at her phone again until she was safely ensconced in her private elevator. She started flipping through the tabs again, vetoing some of the more elaborate and constraining ties, until a video caught her eye.
“Oh Midori, you never let me down.” She murmured to herself and started thumbing through a video playlist.
Lena immediately started a video and found her way into her apartment. The low quality sound of the years-old video was still good enough and she walked half-blind to her bedroom. She walked into her closet and paused, leaning against her extensive shoe rack as the instructor walked her through a simple tie. It went on fast, and came off even faster. Just what Lena was looking for. She paused another five minutes and watched the same instructor walk her through a simple, quick release two-limb tie, just in case Kara was okay and wanted to do a little more. Anything past that Lena decided would require some heavy discussion and education on Kara’s part. And some practice from her.
Her coat and purse hit the floor in a soft fwump and Lena pulled out one of the discreet black bins behind a rack of slacks that Kara hadn’t looked into yet. She popped the lid open and quickly found a discreet black bag of durable cotton duck fabric. Lena pulled it free and undid the ties of nylon straps through the large metal D-rings. Inside she found four neat bundles of durable hemp rope, still in good condition. She hummed in thought and re-tied the bag and set it aside before going back to the bin. A moment later she pulled a deep red bag of the same design from the bottom with a soft aha and flipped it open.
Three neat rolls of soft cotton rope, safety shears, disinfectant spray, rubber gloves, special soap and oil for conditioning, a single suspension ring of stainless steel, and a first aid kit were neatly tucked away inside the bag. Lena new the ropes were clean, still wrapped in a way that she had used to prepare a new length, and immediately pulled one of the longer ropes, about twenty-five feet, from the bag. She shucked her sweater and looped an easy knot into one end as she stepped in front of the floor length mirror. With sure fingers, she recalled the instructions from the first video, and deftly looped the rope around her torso in a series of neat passes. It barely took a few minutes, and Lena was pleased with the design of bright white lines cutting across her black t-shirt. Undoing the tie was just as painless as the instructor had shown, and Lena quickly began to loop the rope back up as excitement jumped thickly into her throat.
The last time Lena had participated in any kind of rope play was quite literally years ago when she was squirreled away in a lab halfway across the world. She had been so far under the radar that the tabloids hadn’t caught wind that the youngest Luthor sometimes strung people up from their toes in a completely different manner. The rope was quickly bundled up and packed away and Lena shoved the red bag into a discreet tote, slipping in a few smaller items into the bottom if the opportunity arose. She checked her watch and hastily shrugged her sweater, coat, and scarf back on when she realized she was almost at her self-allotted twenty minutes. With everything securely gathered, Lena slung her purse back up onto her shoulder and hustled from her apartment with her heart in her throat.
The ride back was tense and Lena made sure to text Kara as soon as they pulled away from the curb. She reviewed the two ties she had looked at in her head, and any kind of quick safe release to the knots that she could think of, even though they were specifically designed with ease in mind. Kara texted back that the documentary would have about fifteen minutes left when she got there and Lena told her to watch it if she wanted so she could use the time to set up. Kara made no promises.
Before she knew it, the tires ground to a halt on the pavement outside of Kara’s apartment and both of Lena’s knees were jackhammering.
“ Shall I stand by for your call later, Miss Luthor? ”
Lena jumped at the sudden crackle of her driver’s voice. She balked for a split second.
“No, thank you. Six tomorrow morning, please.”
“ Of course. Have a lovely evening. ”
Lena spilled from the car and hustled back into Kara’s apartment building out of the nipping cold, having to take the stairs in annoyance when the elevator didn’t arrive after a solid ten minutes. She shouldered her way into the warm apartment, out of breath, to an antsy Kara pacing her living room.
“ There you are!”
Lena huffed and sniffed, feeling a little gross as she kicked the door shut behind her with a frown. “Fucking elevator.”
The tension in Kara’s shoulders fell, but her hands still wrung together. Lena watched her carefully as she hung her coat and purse back up.
“Kara, are you sure-”
Lena’s jaw clicked shut at the firm response and she pulled her boots off. She could still sense Kara’s nerves even from across the apartment and realized she needed to make sure that Kara knew she was the one in charge.
“Okay. Do you want to wait until I’ve set up or do you want to watch?”
Kara paused, a blush coloring her cheeks. “I want to see.”
Lena’s lip caught on her teeth and she picked up the tote and her phone. “Okay.”
Kara stayed frozen to her spot until Lena padded up to her with an outstretched hand. She took it immediately and Lena breathed a private sigh of relief. Without looking away from Kara’s face, she led her back and into her bedroom. It was barely twenty feet, but it felt like the longest distance she had traversed yet.
“I brought some other things just in case you don’t like this. If you want. We don’t have to do anything .”
The smooth muscles worked in Kara’s throat and she nodded, her voice coming out hoarse. “‘Kay.”
“Plumeria?” Lena prompted.
Kara cleared her throat and nodded. “Plumeria.”
Lena tugged her forward gently until their knees were bumping into the edge of the mattress. She gave Kara’s hands a squeeze and let go, a tingle running up her arm when Kara’s fingers lingered for a moment. Shaking the pull of affection from her chest again, she set the tote on the end of Kara’s bed and started quickly pulling the items from it. Kara watched her closely as she set aside a few of the simpler vibrators she had grabbed and then inched closer when she pulled out the red bag. Lena tossed the empty tote onto the floor and started carefully unstrapping the nylon bands. Piece by piece, Lena pulled out the contents of the bag, telling Kara what each item was even though she could see what they were.
“-and this is cotton rope. Soft, strong, and more comfortable than hemp.”
Slender fingers reached out and stroked the material. “It won’t hurt?”
“It’s shouldn’t. I’ll be careful but you’ll need to speak up too.”
Kara rubbed a loop between her fingers for a moment. Lena could practically hear her thinking.
“What do I need to do? Do I need to be naked?”
Lena barely heard her tentative question. “You don’t have to be.”
Kara hesitated, and then methodically began to pull her clothes off. Lena let her, and pulled out the longer length of soft rope and carefully transferred everything else she had brought to Kara’s small desk. When she turned back, Kara was in her underwear, chewing on her lip. As soon as she opened her mouth to reassure her again, she stripped out of her underwear and started unthreading her ring from her necklace. Lena was across the room and stilling her hands in a heartbeat, worry bubbling up in her chest.
“You don’t have to do that if you don’t want to.”
Kara’s eyes bored into her. “I want to. I want to feel this. Please?”
I want to feel normal.
The vulnerable unspoken message was clear in her tone, and Lena didn’t have the heart to deny her. It just made her role that much more serious to keep her safe and comfortable. Lena let go of her hands and watched Kara slip the silvery ring back onto her finger. She slumped a little as she activated the red sun emulator and let Lena take the necklace from her.
“I don’t want this to get in the way. Get on the bed for me? Towards the edge and up on your knees, please?”
The mattress creaked and Lena tugged her sweater off again, already starting to feel a little warm. She peeled off her socks too to make sure she wouldn’t slip on the hardwood, and flinched when her bare feet came in contact with the chilly floor. She tossed her sweater onto the simple wooden chair at Kara’s desk and padded quietly back over to the bed, pulling her hair up into a messy ponytail as she went.
“I’ll check in on you as we go, but for any reason if you’re not okay use stoplights or our safe word. Okay?”
Kara murmured another soft okay and shifted her weight on her knees a little. She held her arms loose by her sides but her hands clenched and flexed nervously. Lena picked up the spool of rope and began unwinding it.
“I’m going to put you in a simple tie called the lightening harness. It was created by a woman who goes by Midori. She’s very well respected in the rope community and helped popularize rope bondage in the western world. She calls it the lightning harness, not just because of how it will look finished, but it’s simple to tie on and comes off in seconds. Quick and easy. I thought that would be something nice for your first experience.”
Kara listened to her closely as her gaze jumped from her face to her hands holding the rope. “Have you met her before?”
“I took a few workshops a long time ago.”
Kara nodded, pleased with her answer. Lena let the loose rope fall to the floor and created a simple loop knot on one end.
“Are you ready?”
Kara nodded. Lena hesitated, waiting for a verbal response. A moment later, Kara gave her a firm yes . Lena felt as if they had just cleared a hurdle.
“Do you want me to talk you through it?”
Lena sighed softly through her nose, resolve and excitement settling into her chest. “Alright. I’m going to loop this end over the back of your neck-”
She stepped closer slipped the knotted end carefully under messy loose curls hanging from her own ponytail, making sure that her fingers stayed in contact with Kara’s skin as she slid the soft rope over the base of her neck.
“-and pull it to about here.” She pressed the back of her fingers into Kara’s chest, just below her left collar bone.
Kara drew in a steady breath, and then released it, her shoulders sinking as she made herself try to relax. Lena found herself speaking lowly about the more technical aspect of rope, hoping that it would help sooth her nerves. In a way it calmed her down too, reminding herself of the caution she needed to take even while leading.
“In rope play it is discouraged to tie joints together, cut across arteries, wrap around more bony extremities, or twist the rope in a way that may cause pinching and rope burn. I will never wrap it around your neck. The purpose isn’t to cut off circulation, but to explore sensation. A fun way to play into sensation is through the placement of the rope and by cinching the knot or loops to pull the rope tight. I won’t pull it too hard, but I want to try mimicking the physical pull of it with you. Does that sound good to you?”
Lena gathered the loose end of the rope, watching Kara closely. “Ready?”
Kara swallowed thickly again. “Yes.”
Lena pushed her right forefinger and thumb through the small loop of the knot. “I’m going to feed a small loop through here,” she did so, carefully measuring enough rope to make sure the closed loop around Kara’s neck ended just under the hollow of her throat, “-and now I’m going to hold this and bring the excess behind your back.”
Lena bent forward and took the short loop in her teeth, reached around Kara, and passed the rope across her chest, and behind her. She let her nose brush against her skin and felt a little smug when her chest hitched and goosebumps crawled out from where her breath washed against her. Once she had the rope in her other hand she slipped her left forefinger and thumb through the loop she held with her teeth fed the loose end through again, creating another small loop. She straightened up and gently tugged the soft rope flush to her skin.
“How does that feel? Too tight?”
Kara paused and her face turned pink. “... A little.”
A pleased grin tugged at the corner of Lena’s mouth and she pulled the new loop a fraction tighter with a quick tug. Kara sucked in another breath as the force of Lena’s pull rocked her and she swallowed thickly, her blush crawling down her neck.
Kara nodded. “Yes.”
“Okay. I’m going to keep creating loops like that all the way down your body. You can touch me if you want. Say something if you need to. Red, yellow, green, or plumeria.”
Kara gave her another soft okay and Lena took the newest loop in her teeth with a wink, and passed the rope back behind her. Back and forth she went, passing the soft rope across her back, tugging it snug with quick cinches on each switchback, and looped it together in the front to form a zigzagging line down her front. She let her nose and lips brush against her skin with each pass as she sank to her knees, letting her hands slide against her as they carried the rope. Lena made sure to drop a few kisses here and there as well, pausing for a beat in between each loop to gauge Kara’s reaction. When she got down to her hips and the last arm length of her rope, she pressed a few more kisses into her abdomen. She heard Kara sigh above her and the hands that had found their way to her shoulders somewhere around the loop over her belly button curled into her t-shirt. Lena sat back on her haunches and looked up at Kara in the low light, her hands holding her hips steady. Her stomach swooped as she drank her in, the bright rope cutting stark lines against her tanned skin. Kara’s eyes were dark and her lips were parted as she breathed steadily through the new sensations. Her blush had crawled down her chest.
“How are you feeling?”
“ Good .”
Kara’s voice was low and gravelly in her chest with heady arousal. Heat bled down Lena’s spine. She licked her lips and reeled herself back in.
“I’m going to finish the tie by looping it between your legs.”
Kara’s fingers twitched on her shoulders. “I’m going to get your rope wet.”
Lena swallowed thickly and chanced a glance at the apex of her thighs. She couldn’t see anything. Yet. Kara was doing much better than they had both hoped.
“That’s alright. They’re supposed to get wet.” She looked back up. “Ready?”
“ Yes .”
Kara’s answer hissed from between her teeth and Lena could feel her own arousal pooling in between her legs. She let herself lean forward and plant another kiss on her abdomen as she reached between her legs. Lena fed the rope up and around the lowest loop across the small of Kara’s back, and then drew it forward. Kara’s grip tightened on her t-shirt and Lena leaned back just enough to see what she was doing. With a careful hand, she adjusted the soft rope against her, making sure it wasn’t twisted and that it was laying flat across her clit. Kara was wet and slick arousal smeared onto her fingers as she rearranged the rope. When she was satisfied with how the rope laid against her, Lena brought the end up and fed it back through the lowest loop. She looked back up at Kara, and then gave a quick tug to tighten it just a fraction. Kara gasped and her hips jerked in a half-roll towards her as the soft rope pulled against her. Lena quickly tied off the rope.
“ There . All tied up.”
Kara’s chest was heaving at the continuous pressure between her legs. Lena gave her a long moment, and when she didn’t say anything she rose from her knees and encroached into her space.
“Why don’t you lie back for a little bit?”
Kara sucked in a few more breathes, wide eyed and flushed, but gingerly let Lena push her back into the center of the bed. As soon as her back hit the mattress, Lena crawled on top of her and straddled her hips. Kara’s hands were tight on her thighs and tried to tug her down onto her, but Lena had a different idea. She reached out, slipped her fingers under the loops at Kara’s sternum and belly and adjusted her grip. Using the new muscles she had been working on since new years, she pulled up . Kara gasped loudly and her back arched up towards her as the extra tension pulled the tie tight between her legs. Lena held the tension with a fierce grin, admiring the way the tendons stood out in the column of her throat and the way the rope pulled against her skin. She held her elbows into her ribs and rocked her, swaying gently to change the sensation again.
“You would look divine with a leather lead around your neck.” She decided, and hunched over to lick a kiss onto the underside of her jaw.
She held her barely suspended for just a moment longer until her arms began to shake, and then gently lowered Kara back down. Kara moaned softly and trained her eyes on Lena’s face, blown wide and looking hungry. Long fingers tugged at the waistband of her jeans but Lena gently batted them away.
“No. This is for you, not me.”
Kara pressed her lips together in a disgruntled response but listened, instead stretching her arms out and attempted to slide her hands into the back pockets of her jeans again. Lena grinned and busied herself with finding the freckles in between the ropes. She tugged Kara up a few more times, getting a more visceral response with each mock suspension, and Kara stripping her shirt off of her somewhere around the third or fourth time. Lena was sweaty, her arms ached, and her pants were riding low on her hips but Kara was enjoying this and she wanted, needed , her to get as much of it from it as she wanted. After possibly the seventh pull, Kara was antsy and starting to tug at the fasten of her jeans again.
“Lena please -”
“Color?” She mumbled around her nipple.
“ Green-hah-Lena PLEASE. ”
Lena pulled back from her chest with a wet suck and shuffled down Kara’s body. She found the knot low on Kara’s abdomen and tugged it loose with ease. She slipped the end out of the last loop and pressed her hand flat under the rope. With barely any effort at all, she pushed her hand flat up Kara’s front, all the way to the knot just below the hollow of her throat, pulling the looped tie safely apart in seconds. She pulled the soft rope out from under her and blushed deep when she pulled it free from between her legs. It was coated in slick arousal. Lena tossed it onto the floor to worry about later and drank her in. Kara was flushed and so ready for release Lena thought a stiff breeze would set her off. But there was something haunting in the way she was looking at her. It was weighty and it scared her.
Clumsy hands jerking open the button to her pants broke her weird train of thought and Lena pushed them away a second time. Kara huffed in annoyance but her tune quickly changed when Lena bent over her again and pressed heavy kisses onto the faint indentations in her skin from the rope. She busied herself with finding each dimple and slowly worked her way down Kara’s front. By the time she settled low in between Kara’s legs the muscles in her thighs were jumping with each touch. She pressed a kiss high on the inside of her thigh and tugged her legs onto her shoulders. Her body heat was almost suffocating.
“How are you feeling, darling?”
All Kara managed was an impatient whine as Lena spread her apart gently with her fingers. It was all the encouragement she needed and she leaned in, smoothing her hands up to rest comfortably on her stomach. Kara was impossibly wet and with the first pass of her tongue rolling through her, Lena knew she wouldn’t last long at all. But that was alright, they had all night.
Kara found her hands and laced their fingers together on her stomach as her hips jumped up into Lena’s mouth. She tried teasing her, tried sucking her into her mouth and drawing patterns over her clit with the tip of her tongue, but her soft whines of please Lena please just let me come spurred her to just seal her lips around her clit. Kara’s grip on her hands was steel and Lena rolled her tongue over her clit in a quick pattern until her thighs were shaking. Lena moved their hands lower onto her hips to hold her down into the mattress as Kara rolled into her mouth. Her voice was breathy and high in her chest as she chanted a mantra of pleasepleasepleaseplease as Lena sealed her lips over her clit and sucked . Kara shook under her and came against her chin with a breathless silent scream.
Lena guided her through her release with gentle pressure, rubbing her thumbs soothingly against Kara’s knuckles. The silvery ring was warm and pressing a little uncomfortably into her fingers with Kara’s grip. She licked slowly and methodically through her slick folds, laughing lowly in her chest when her hips jumped and bumped her chin when the tip of her tongue touched her clit. Eventually Kara started pulling on her hands, and Lena relented. She untangled herself from her legs and wiped her mouth sloppily on her bicep, then crawled back up Kara’s body and let her pull her down and into her embrace. Lena settled onto her with a tired sigh, feeling gross and wired at the same time. Kara wrapped her arms around her back and pressed her face into the side of Lena’s neck. She felt her inhale deeply against her and squeezed her hips with her thighs.
“How ‘bout now?” She murmured.
“ Mhhmph .”
Lena snorted another laugh at the lazy response and rolled them onto their sides. She slung a leg over Kara’s hip and held her close, pressing slow kisses into the side of her neck and top of her shoulder. Kara was boneless against her and Lena made sure to just hold her for as long as she wanted. This night had been for Kara, and Lena was happy to give her whatever she wanted.
She ignored the long low pull of affection in her chest.
Lena was screwed.
Not literally, Kara was taking care of that. But figuratively. Emotionally .
Lena suppressed a sigh as she stared at the ceiling of Kara’s apartment. Her best friend was sleeping on her chest, limbs curled protectively around her as her breath washed warmly over her skin. Lena thought about the length of rope on the floor. She thought about what that now represented in her mind and knew that she would never be able to look at a piece of rope the same way again. She would just remember Kara’s trusting eyes and the way they had surrendered to each other.
God , she was screwed .
March blew by in a hurry. Whatever issue that stupid fight had been about that had led to some of the messiest sex she’d ever had, it had quickly been resolved. While it had felt good, it had left her emotionally raw and she hated it. Kara had clung to her afterwards, soothing the marks on her skin with apologies in her kisses and a tortured look in her eyes. Kara had stayed over that night and they laid awake holding each other tightly, fearfully, until weak sunlight broke over the green glass buildings and Lena was forced to get up for work. Something had shifted between them again.
Kara staying over wasn’t a new occurrence. Sometimes they would stay over after their romps, their close friendship allowing them for a short time without it being too weird. But since January, and then since Valentine’s…
Lena paused in her tinkering at her desk as she remembered how safe she had felt with Kara pressing bare into her back earlier that morning as the grey dawn rose over National City. They had been staying over more and more, often choosing to leave early after a quick breakfast rather than stealing away in the night. They were leagues past the lines they had drawn now. Lena of course knew that from here on out this could either end in heartbreak, or.
She shook her head and adjusted her glasses with a scrunch of her nose as her messy bun wobbled at the crown of her head. Or nothing. Just because she wanted Kara as more than a best friend, as more than a best friend with benefits, she had no idea how Kara felt. Lena went back to trying to line up some resistors on her circuit board. She paused again with a frown.
Or did she?
Was she just so caught up in trying to wrestle with her own feelings that she was missing the same signs from Kara? It was possible. Very possible. She was perceptive but not always when she should be. Which often turned to be one of her more frustrating character flaws, no matter how hard she worked to overcome it. Lena started racking her brain, trying to pinpoint when Kara had started treating her differently. Because she had noticed last night. How each touch was nearly reverent, careful and important. How she no longer loomed over her as she thrust into her, giving the detached distance they had started with, but pressed close and held her tight, fit together like puzzle pieces. How Lena felt wrong now if she didn’t try to pull her into her skin, like she was trying to meld them together, with a low ache in her chest.
It had been a slow dawning revelation over the past few months, but Lena knew now that she was desperately in love with Kara Danvers.
She was in love with Kara Zor El.
How many nights now had she spent feeling desolate and lost as bitter tears dampened her pillow? Always longing for something she knew she couldn’t- shouldn’t -have. It made each experience with Kara that much more painful, like salt in an open wound. Lena set her needle nose pliers down before she accidentally damaged her circuit board.
Lena started. Kara was leaning against the doorway in a plain black tank top and a pair of Lena’s athletic leggings. Her loose messy curls of blonde and auburn softened the sleek lines of her muscled shoulders. Blue eyes warmly took her in, studying her curled up in her chair. Lena wanted to scream and upend her desk.
“I finished my article. Thank you for letting me work here. It’s a lot easier for me to concentrate when, um.” She paused and blushed. “Anyway.”
Lena really looked at her.
She couldn’t keep doing this.
She needed to end whatever this was before she hurt herself further. Before she hurt her best friend. Kara would understand. She had to understand. Whatever their original plan had been, it was now cinders and they were careening through a messy relationship that wasn’t actually a relationship. And it wasn’t healthy or fair to either of them. It needed to stop. Lena wanted Kara to have a fair chance with someone, even if that someone wasn’t her, no matter how selfish she felt.
“Why are you looking at me like that?” The crinkle formed between Kara’s brows.
“Do you think we’ve gone past what we originally agreed upon?” She asked quietly, her question barely leaving her lips even though she already knew the answer. She just needed the confirmation.
Weight pulled at Kara’s shoulders and her face grew somber. Melancholy. The same longing look that she had been seeing since Amsterdam. Lena wished the ground would swallow her up.
Another stretch pulled tensely between them and Lena’s words stuck in her throat like bitter tar. Kara smiled but it barely reached her eyes, and it slid off quicker than water. Lena tried to return it but she could barely muster the strength to make the corners of her mouth move when she realized what was happening. Lena wanted to cry.
“Can I take you to bed? One last time?”
The word was between them before she realized and Lena never in her life wanted to take a syllable back so badly when hurt flickered over Kara’s face as her gaze dropped to the floor. Her best friend. The woman she had given her heart to. And Lena was hurting her . She opened and closed her mouth a few times, hands eerily still by her sides.
“I… I just…” She finally managed to look at Lena. “I want to remember you. If that’s alright. But if you want to stop, we stop. That’s the one rule we haven’t broken yet. Well. Second to last.”
She grinned ruefully at her comment and blinked back the glassiness in her eyes. Lena selfishly didn’t want to stop. She was Icarus, let her seal her fate and plunge into the sea.
Let her drown.
“We’ve broken all the other rules. We might as well break this one.”
Something like relief and anguish fled across Kara’s features, but her face remained open and gentle. Her Kara. She pushed away from the doorframe and held her hands out, palm up. Lena dropped her tools and reached out, sliding her hands into Kara’s and held tight. She let her pull her from her seat, from her home office, and into the dim hall. She could hear the patter of rain against the windows and the low distant rumble of thunder echoed inside the vast hole in her chest. A hole she would greedily try to fill one last time. Her legs felt like lead and there was something molten in the center of her chest.
Kara’s eyes gleamed clear blue in the low light as she led her backwards down the hall, a path she knew as well as her own home. When they got to her dim bedroom Lena left her glasses on the dresser, softening the edges of her vision but Kara was still close enough to be in focus. That’s all that mattered anyways. She reluctantly let her hands slip from Kara’s and lifted her arms as the sweater slipped up and over her head. It hit the floor with a soft thump and Lena was already sliding her hands up Kara’s sides, taking her tank top with them. She wasn’t wearing anything underneath it and Lena drank her in, all tanned skin and sleek athletic form.
“Do you want to use anything?”
Kara’s question was soft as Lena started peeling the waistband of her borrowed athletic leggings down her hips. She thought quietly as she helped her step out of them and worked on her own bra as Kara’s fingers rid her of her shorts. She stared unashamedly at the swell of her breasts to the ghost of abdominal muscles flexing with each breath. Her eyes followed the faint v of her hips to the thatch of dusk between her legs.
“No. Just you.”
Lena was lifted into bed as Kara pressed the ghost of her smile into the hollow of her throat, then to the freckle dotting the center of her neck. It was one of Kara’s favorite places to leave a kiss. No inch of her skin went bare as Kara covered her with kisses. Pressing into each freckle and dip, doing her best to commit her to memory just as she had told her. Lena let her, trying to tattoo Kara’s touch into her skin, the way her lips and tongue felt, how her fingers teased. How every touch seemed like a prayer and a goodbye wrapped in one. Kara took her time before she started focusing on the real reason why they were in bed together. Her breath sobbed from her chest as her warm mouth closed over her nipple and her hands buried themselves in messy blonde curls. Her heart leapt and plummeted at the same time when a warm tongue laved over her.
Kara worked her up slowly. Building the low thrumming ache in her with each heady touch until Lena could feel her heartbeat pulsing slickly between her legs. Kara’s freckled cheeks were flushed and her lips were pink and Lena longed to kiss her. She tried not to think that again. It would just make this last time that much more painful. Instead she pulled her up to her again and released her grip on her back with one hand, sliding the other down Kara’s ribs and around the flare of her hip. Kara mirrored her, her hand flat down the length of her body until long fingers were sliding through slick heat.
Lena’s chest hitched as the tips of her fingers ghosted over her clit and she took the opportunity to press two fingers into her. Kara’s mouth opened in a gasp and the crinkle between her brows furrowed at the stretch of Lena’s fingers. She drew in a few steadying breaths as Lena started to carefully slide her slick fingers out, and then back into tight soft heat. Again, she mirrored her with a gentle roll of her hips and it was Lena’s turn to gasp at the tingling stretch of pleasure.
Their fingers moved with purpose, but not in a hurry, reaching for the spots that made sparks dance across their vision and fire to race up their spines. The familiar and comforting heavy coil of heat in Lena’s belly kept the heartbreak at bay, but only just. She was too focused on trying to pour her feelings, her love, into her touches. It also helped that Kara had slumped and let her forehead rest on the mattress next to her where she couldn’t see her eyes and the expression that would shake her to pieces. But she could hear the soft quiet moans and feel the shift of solid muscle in her shoulder as she worked her hand. Her powerful hips were grinding carefully into her hand, meeting each thrust, and Lena pushed her hand down the arch of her back for just a moment to feel the rhythm of her hips before greedily moving back up to cling to the center of her back between her shoulder blades.
Lena was doing alright, or as well as she could concerning the circumstances, her body coiling tighter and her hand working a little more firmly, the heel of her hand pressing into her clit, until Kara picked her head up to look at her.
It was then that Lena truly knew how much of an idiot she had been.
On so many levels.
How much had they both been stubbornly hurting in the dark and quiet like the stupid love drunk idiots of Shakespearean plays because they were too afraid to hurt each other? Her heart was somewhere outside of her body. She could see it bare on Kara’s face, the same devastating ache that had brought Lena to her knees over and over for the past few months. She couldn’t say goodbye now. The hot ache of tears welled up in the base of her throat and prickled at the backs of her eyes when her heart took a chance, and leapt.
She was falling, a stone tumbling to earth, as her lips finally formed the words she had been holding back, bleeding from her like melting wax in the face of the sun.
“ I love you .”
“ I’m in love with you .”
Kara had leapt at the same time, her words crashing into Lena’s. They froze. Their fingers stilled. Lena could feel her chest heaving against hers for a long painful moment. Hot tears cut down Kara’s face and Lena clumsily tried to wipe them away with her free hand, thumbing across her cheekbones even though she shook like a leaf in a gale. Kara’s voice cracked, weak. Hopeful with disbelief. The same disbelief that was licking up the inside of Lena’s ribs like a cracking flame.
“ You love me? ”
Lena couldn’t help but choke out a watery laugh as pure unadulterated elation washed through her, leaving her heady and weightless as she stayed suspended high above the clouds. She felt as if her chest was going to burst into ribbons of silver and gold. Kara loved her.
“ I. Love. You. ” She repeated in careful kryptonian.
A smile brighter than the sun split the gloom that had been shadowing Kara’s face for months and she repeated her own words with a reverence Lena wasn’t sure she deserved. Kara rested her forehead on Lena’s nearly going cross eyed with how close she was. She could count every freckle.
“ I love you, Lena Luthor. ”
As she was saying this, Lena curled her hand around the back of her neck, thumb stroking behind her ear as she pulled her in.
Rules be damned.
“ Please kiss me. ”
Kara kissed her. She tasted of salt and her and Lena finally let her own tears fall. She couldn’t stop kissing her. She pulled her closer and gasped as a warm tongue brushed tentatively against her lip. And then it was desperate, frantic as if making up for all of the previous months. Their teeth clicked uncomfortably when Kara jumped, caught off guard when Lena started moving her fingers again. But Lena couldn’t stop kissing her. And when she barely had the control to keep her fingers moving as Kara’s touch tugged at the pull in her hips she still held her close breathing raggedly, unwilling to let her pull away just yet. They shared their breath, giving kisses where they could as their bodies coiled tighter, and Lena felt like she was finally close enough to her.
She was Icarus, but her wings weren’t of melting wax or burnt downy feathers. Her wings were Kara.
And Lena soared .
“I’m an idiot, you know? I must be one of the smartest people on this earth and subsequently one of the most stupid. A smart, stupid, selfish idiot.”
Lena mumbled her self deprecating comment into Kara’s lips. She was lazily resting on her, her hips cradled in Kara’s thighs as strong hands drew nonsensical patterns on her back. She had her arms looped under Kara’s head and she had never felt more safe. Kara distracted her again for another few long minutes, stealing her breath with each brush of her lips. Kara hummed in quiet contentment, her tears having dried a long while ago. They had been lying in bed until the sun had set just a little while ago after a few more breathless instances of release, each one more heady and easy than the last. But they never lost a chance to share another kiss.
“I am too.” She finally answered, Lena muffling her words with another kiss. She pressed her nose into her cheek as she stole her breath.
“No, you aren’t.”
Kara breathed a sound of amusement. “Yeah, I really am.”
Lena relented for just a moment and pushed up into her elbows. Kara was languid and open, and quite possibly looking the happiest that Lena had ever seen her. Her freckled cheeks were pink and her lips were thoroughly kissed. She was beautiful .
“Is this real?”
Kara grinned. “Is this just fantasy? ”
“Caught in a landslide, no-mphf- “
Lena cut her impromptu karaoke off with another kiss as Kara laughed against her lips. When she could still feel her threatening to keep singing she pushed her hand down between them and pressed her fingers against her. Kara gasped softly against her mouth and her hips rose gently up to meet Lena’s fingers as she found her clit. Kara melted into her again and soon she was breathing fast as her fingers slipped over her in slow steady circles. She came against her fingers with a breathless moan, hips jumping into her hand as she pulled her flush to her front. Lena tugged at her lip with her teeth and then soothed her with her tongue when her hips jumped again.
Kara huffed a throaty laugh again and kissed her until she had to pull back for a proper breath.
“I don’t think I’m dreaming, so yeah.” She grinned again, breathless. “Not fantasy.”
“I will kick you out.” Lena murmured into her lips.
“No, you won’t.”
It was Lena’s turn to smile. “No, I won’t.”
“Good. Wanna go on a date?”
Lena propped herself up on her elbows again, a thick lock of hair falling from her messy bun and a wry grin tugging at her lips.
“We’re really doing this backwards, aren’t we?”
Kara shrugged and trailed the pads of her fingers in long loops up to Lena’s shoulder blades, down to her hips where the thin sheet just barely covered her, and then back up again. She looked relaxed and content and Lena wanted to kiss her again. So she did. After another long moment Kara slanted her mouth to press a kiss into the corner of her mouth.
“What do you say, Miss Luthor?”
Lena tilted her face again and stole another kiss that made Kara draw her closer. She pulled back just enough to give her answer, her lips brushed against Kara’s as warm breath washed over her chin.
Kara rolled her onto her back with barely a jostle and stole Lena’s breath again as her hand slipped low.
The hole in Lena’s chest was gone. There was nothing but sunlight.
“What does im ehl te zil mean?”
“...you remember that?”
“It roughly means star of my night .”
“Lena, are you okay-wait, are you crying ?”
Lena thumbed through her emails, typed out a few quick responses, flagged four, and made some notes regarding one that she would have to dig into her laptop’s hard drive to answer. Her day had been horrendous but she barely felt it, still too high in the clouds from the day before. She caught herself almost humming earlier.
“ Miss Luthor? Your thoughts? ”
She snapped back to her conference call, having zoned out when the other men on the line had started arguing over useless semantics.
“You’ve had my thoughts, gentlemen. I’m not here to argue over petty logistics.”
There was a mix of scandalized titters and guffaws at her dry tone.
“ Miss Luthor, it is paramount that we confirm these details! ”
There was another round of disgruntled objections and one of My GOD man, I want to take my lunch! Lena allowed herself a quiet sigh that might have gotten picked up by her phone, but she was too annoyed with them to care.
“For fear of Gerald’s stomach digesting itself,” She paused for another guffaw, “-I move to end our meeting here and we can reschedule a follow-up later this week.”
There was a shout of SECONDED! from Gerald, the famished man in question, and another round of titters and guffaws. Lena rolled her eyes.
“All in favor?”
There was a chorus of aye .
A single annoyed huff.
“Motion carries. Thank you, gentlemen, for an enlightening discussion.”
There was a quiet Hardly . and another round of snickers. Lena did smile at that. At least she hadn’t been the only one annoyed.
“Meeting is adjourned until later this week. Please submit your schedules so that we can promptly set up another call.”
“ Thank you, Miss Luthor. Now if you’ll excuse me, there is a lovely flank steak calling my name.”
Gerald rang off and Lena bid her own quick farewell before jabbing the end call button. Merciful silence filled her office and she sighed in relief. She checked her watch and scrunched her nose in annoyance when she noticed it was nearly six. The meeting had eaten up a solid two hours. She stood from her desk and reached for the ceiling in a full body stretch. The ache in her back eased and she groaned softly when she felt her spine realign. In fact she felt great , but a large part of that was due to the discussions from the day before. Lena blushed again as she recalled her time with Kara.
Kara her girlfriend .
Lena shook herself out of her thoughts that were rapidly spiraling into something more inappropriate and decided to take a short walk around the top floor of L-Corp. She was expecting a call from Kara closer to 6:30 and decided she had some time to kill. There was a small stack of paperwork that needed to be reviewed, but that could wait until later that evening. Her heels echoed across the glossy floor and the translucent glass door pulled open with a soft shushing sound. Lena stopped short in the doorway as her heart leapt giddily into her throat.
Kara sprang from her chair, looking a little frumpy from a long day but just as bright and sunny as her usual self. But there was a different air about her. She was exuding warmth and assurance and Lena wanted to kiss her, but didn’t while Jess was still there. Well, she could , but it wasn’t something that they hadn’t talked about yet. Also curious cameras were a thing. Lime light? No thank you.
“Miss Luthor, Miss Danvers has been keeping me company for the past twenty minutes. I would have let her in but your meeting was still ongoing.” Jess provided helpfully, watching them with quickly growing realization as her hand snuck to the drawer that her personal phone was in.
Lena just grinned as Kara approached, unable to tear her eyes from her. “Of course, Jess. I think I’ll call it a day. Kara, come in, I need to gather my things.”
Kara followed her into her office with a quick wave to the increasingly excited Jess, who at this point was blatantly scrambling for her phone, professionalism be damned. Lena was sure she would have ripped her drawer out of her desk and screamed had she not been in the office when Lena reached out and offered her hand to Kara-who gladly took it. The door closed quietly behind Kara just as Jess whispered shouted-
“ NIA, YOU WERE RIGHT-”
Kara bit back a laugh, glancing back at the door as it swished shut, but nearly tripped when Lena tugged firmly on her hand.
“ Oop- ”
Kara caught herself from bumping into her, but Lena was already pulling her in for a kiss. The fingers laced through hers tightened and Kara’s mouth was soft and warm against hers, tasting like sugar. Lena allowed herself a few more quick kisses and then pulled away, grinning smugly as Kara stood there dazed. She reached up and thumbed away the hint of lipstick that had transferred to her lip.
Kara blinked, still dazed. “Hi.”
“Let me shut everything down and gather my things.”
Lena stepped in close again and straightened Kara’s collar. “How’s it going, Supergirl?”
Lena laughed brightly and left Kara, her girlfriend , standing in the middle of her office. By the time she had made it back to her desk Kara managed to shake herself out of her kiss-inflicted stupor.
“That wasn’t fair.”
Lena quirked a brow at her and slid into her chair. “When have I even played fair, darling?”
Kara opened and shut her mouth a few times as she searched for an answer. “I mean there was that one time but I’m not gonna say it because we’re around a lot of technology that could record me.”
Lena blushed. “The one with the suction-?”
Lena laughed and quickly saved and closed out of her programs as Kara flapped her hands at her, her face redder than a firetruck. Lena decided to relent for now because there was a security camera in her office. It didn’t have sound but a talented lip-reader would be able to pick out the words she formed. She had made sure to delete the footage and loop in an hour of her working from that one time Kara had visited last fall, but she wasn’t keen on doing that every time she visited her office. She’d do what was required but the less evidence of tampering in her office’s security footage, the better. Even if it meant a lost moment with Kara. There would always be more.
Lena threw her purse together, eyed the stack of paperwork still left on her desk, and in a spur of the moment decision, she left it where it was. Logically, leaving her work at the office was a totally healthy thing to do. Plus, with Kara, she wouldn’t have the attention or energy to spare for it. She slung her purse onto her shoulder and pulled her phone out.
“Do we need a car?”
“No, it’s only about three blocks away.” Kara answered, already back pedalling towards the door and slipping Lena’s jacket from the coat tree. “And it’s pleasant out, I thought the fresh air would be nice.”
“Hmm. I suppose I could use the exercise.” She mused with a teasing tone, endlessly pleased when Kara blushed again.
“If you want more exercise I have no problem helping with that.” She murmured as she held out her jacket to slip into.
It was Lena’s turn to blush and she maneuvered her purse to let Kara help her into her jacket. “Maybe that can be an after-date activity.”
Kara tugged the door open as Lena turned off the lights. “I’d like to wear the red one from Amsterdam if that’s alright?”
Lena futilely tried to control her full body blush and mouthed a yes right before she strode out the door. Jess stopped mid-sentence and pressed her phone flat to her chest with a SLAP looking like a deer caught in headlights. A muffled aaand there’s your boobs came from the phone and Lena bit back a laugh as her secretary schooled her face into her most professional placid look.
“Shall I wrap up for the evening, Miss Luthor?”
“Yes, and…” She paused and mentally ran through her schedule for the next day before thinking of Kara wearing the red double-sided strap-on. Thinking of what she wanted her to do with it and how much time- she shook herself from her thoughts with an awkward clearing of her throat. Kara stifled a laugh. “-and push my seven-thirty to eight please. I won’t be in at my usual seven.”
Kara didn’t react further except to pretend to be interested by something on her phone.
“Very good, Miss Luthor. Is that all?”
“Yes, thank you Jess. Have a good evening.” She held her hand out for Kara. “You too, Nia.”
A muffled Hi Lenaaaa- came from Jess’s blouse and Kara snorted. She felt warm slender fingers lace with hers again and she started into motion, tugging Kara willfully with her to the main elevator that led to the lobby. She bumped her shoulder into Kara’s and ducked her head to hide her grin when a kiss was pressed into the side of her head. Lena decided g-rated PDA around trusted people would be acceptable. She was the CEO, after all. Somewhere behind them there was more enthusiastic whispering and the sound of Jess taking off in the opposite direction in a click-clack of heels but not before pausing to, what Lena guessed due to the sudden tinny screech, was to show Nia through facetime. Kara gave the firetruck a run for its money again and Lena couldn’t help but roll her eyes as she pressed the down button next to the sliding metal doors of the elevator.
“So tell me about this place?”
Kara’s thumb smoothed over her knuckle in a soothing pattern. “It’s a french bistro called Lenôtre . Amazing seafood dishes and pastries and I would argue one of the best apple tarts I’ve ever tasted outside of France.”
“High praise from someone who travels so broadly.” Lena teased.
Kara rolled her eyes as a smile turned up the corners of her lips. “It’s also family run, and um, Supergirl knows them.”
“Well, then it must really be good.”
The elevator dinged and Lena pulled her into the car. Kara let her and stepped close to push the button for the lobby, pressing a chase kiss to the corner of her mouth.
“I think you’ll really like it.”
Lena reached up and smoothed her collar, feeling like her chest was stuffed full of warm sunlight. Kara smiled and her blue eyes sparkled with affection. Lena tugged her close, grinning as warm breath puffed against her chin. Perhaps the CEO approved g-rated PDA should include kisses. A lovely addendum.
“It sounds perfect .”