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Rules to Survive the Zombie Apocalypse

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Life was hell. Life had always been hell but now it was at least 100 times worse. This probably started when the dead began to come back alive and had decided to chow down on anything with a pulse. Although it could of also started when you flunked out of college but you were fairly sure it was the first thing. When the world went to shit you honestly didn’t know how you were going to survive it, you’re still not entirely sure how you survived up till now but you are fairly certain it was thanks to your extensive list of rules. When the world was, well, normal you weren’t really much for rules. It wasn’t like you purposely tried to go against them, your actions apparently just didn’t agree with them. You’ve gotten a lot better at that now though. You’re pretty sure it’s because you made up these rules so of course you’d follow your own rules. Either that or breaking them could literally be the death of you. So that’s what you were doing right now, following your rules of survival with great diligence as you gathered some supplies from the abandoned shopping mall. There were a few staggering zombies scattered through the large building but as long as you kept quiet and out of their line of sight they wouldn’t try to rip out your jugular. . . probably.

The mall had probably been raided by a mob of people throughout the year but you still managed to find some stuff you could use for your own survival. Some non-perishable food, a few batteries and a new flash light, some ammo for your shotgun and a blade sharpener you could use on your sickle. It had been getting pretty blunt with all the use it had been getting. But the greatest find of all were two new pairs of socks!! Your old ones had begun to get holes in them so it’d be a great chance to replace them. You wished you’d found a thick jacket, it was getting cold again and your old one was so worn that it could barely keep you warm anymore. Alas no such luck in locating one. That was fine, you could survive a few more weeks, and if you began to stockpile food, you might be able to find a nice house and just camp out there for the winter. You were pretty satisfied with your haul as you closed up your backpack and chucked it over your shoulder. You were pretty sure there wasn’t much else you’d be able to collect from this mall and all the zombie’s shambling around were begging to get to you. If the smell wasn’t bad enough the lack of conversation topics they were willing to provide definitely made for bad party guests. You began to slowly make your way towards the front door, taking precautions to stay hidden and out of the way as you took shelter behind toppled clothes racks and stepping over broken displays. After all rule #1 don’t take unnecessary risks was a big one. You’ve seen a man get his throat ripped out because he wanted a jelly donut and a woman have her shoulder torn off because she thought that she’d be able to reach her children's old teddy bear. Man, people make dumb decisions sometimes.  People always made dumb decisions but something about the apocalypse just made it so much worse.

You were almost at the door, just needed to get past the elevator, sneak past the few zombies hanging out near the front fountain, watch for anymore coming out of stores and your home free. You started to slowly walk towards the front, keeping low to the ground and near the walls, your trusty sickle in your dominant hand as you watched the zombies shamble along. Everything was going well until you heard a loud bang echoed throughout the abandoned building. You didn’t hesitate to dive into the help centre kiosk and ducking below the desk and holding your breath as the few zombies around the fountain suddenly sprung alive, well as alive as they can be for the undead, and began heading towards the loud sound. You leaned around the left of the desk to watch them shamble away towards the other end of the mall and let out a sigh. It sucked for that guy but they just made your job a whole lot easier. You turned back to the right and had to slap a hand over your mouth to, well you weren’t sure whether you were trying to stop yourself screaming or throwing up. Staring back at you was a very very dead man. Half of his face was ripped off and his other eye was no longer in its socket. His body was contorted over the desk and on the floor, several limbs bending the wrong way. Luckily for you his brain seemed to have leaked out of his exposed skull so there was no way he was going to come back alive to turn you into his matching prom date. Judging by his torn up clothing he use to be a security guard. After you were fairly sure you weren’t going to vomit you put your hand down only to come in contact with something laying on the ground. It was an electronic tablet in a heavy duty case, it was still plugged into the wall like someone had been charging it before it had been knocked off the desk. Turning it over the screen was slightly shattered with a chunk of glass missing in the lower right, but it still turned on and the touch seemed to be working fine. Score. It didn’t even have a pass code! It looked like a work tablet, specifically for this mall as there was a camera app that linked to various cameras around the store. Most of them seemed to be down but there were a few that seemed to be working.

“You don’t mind if I take this right?” you whispered to the dead security officer as you flicked through the camera’s. You weren’t sure what exactly you would use it for but you needed a treat, and in a worse case scenario you could just throw it at a zombies head and hope it takes them a few minutes to beat the best tetris score. Judging by how good they’ve been at problem solving so far you think you have a pretty good chance.

You were ready to head towards the door again having taken the charger out of the wall and stuffing it in one of the pockets on your backpack. When something in the corner of your eye made you stop, looking down at the camera’s it was what looked like a kid, standing in the middle of an electronics store. You couldn’t make out much detail, but by the way they were flailing their arms around you assumed they were throwing a tantrum, which meant they were making noise, which meant that’s where the zombies were heading. Sure enough checking the other camera’s that kid had a small horde heading towards them. They were probably what caused that loud bang. unlucky.  . .

You could just leave, the door was right there, barley a few feet away. You got some new supplies, some killer socks, a new tablet. Well an old new tablet, it was impossible to get anything completely new these days. Point is you could just leave and go on your merry way. But that was a kid, one that looked scared. Could you really just leave a kid to die alone? Their parent’s probably got sick of trying to look after them, or they left them here to go scavenging and became dinner. You could probably get to the kid before the zombies did, you were faster and if you went around to the left, cut through some other stores and make a distraction of noises as you went you could probably get there and distract some undead before the kid got his skull shattered. The only issue then would be getting out but that sounded like a future you problem. Rule #1 briefly flashed through your head but this wasn’t an unnecessary risk. It was saving a kids life. A kid you don’t know. A kid that was scared, no one deserves to die scared and alone. You’re going! You took a deep breath before standing up and knocking over the brochure stand that rested on the counter, creating an echoing thud through the silent mall, before sprinting back towards the escalators. Taking the steps two at a time as you practically pulled yourself up with the banister. At the top you took a hard left turn watching as some zombies slowly began to reach for you from across the way, but they were way too far to even be close to you. Sprinting down the hall you turn into one of the stores, knocking your shoulder into a flimsy looking clothes stand, letting it clatter to the ground before kicking open the door at the back running across it to slam open the door on the other side, entering a shoe store that had been raided beyond recognition. You exited this store and turned briefly to watch a few zombies go to inspect the fallen clothes rack. Making it to the next set of escalators you watched as a few zombies tried to clumsily crawl up them but you ignored them as you slid down one of the railings, hitting the ground at a rather fast pace and stumbling but managed to keep standing, pushing forward as you continued to run. It was getting harder to breath and you could feel your lungs burning.  Then it was a right, a sharp left, a small vault over a counter, spin dodge that zombie, slid under that bench, knock over that stand and continue forward. You skidded to a halt as a horde stood in front of you. Plan B, take that right, through the back to the service corridor, jump over that mop bucket, keep going strai- woah! A zombie had reached through some elevator bars trying to grasp at your shirt, you managed to quickly push yourself against the opposite wall just out of reach and keep pushing forward. It was almost impossible to breath now, your vision was getting spotty, through those double doors, left and then another left. You could hear the kid yelling by now and he was loud, you better be louder. Grabbing the fire alarm on the way past you yanked it down, the alarm blaring through the mall as you made it through the back door of the electronic store and noticed the kid standing in the centre of the room, you skidded to a halt in front of him. Your chest burning and eyes blurry as you took in the kid. . . it wasn’t a kid, it was a skeleton. A short mad skeleton who had apparently been yelling about something. Obviously not a zombie, he was talking and zombies still had flesh, albeit rotting it was still hanging on to them. This skeleton was evidently a monster. An angry monster who was glaring down at you as you stopped in front of them placing your hands on your knees as you tried desperately to get some oxygen into your lungs.

“Oh man. . . you’re. . not . .” You said between heavy breaths.

“HUMAN!?” He yelled glaring at you. You don’t know how he was yelling, he didn’t open his mouth. You were going to say a child but hell human worked to.  

“Yeah. . . That” You saw the movement in the corner of your eye before you heard the groaning, the fire alarm not helping with the whole hearing thing. You jumped around taking a step back in the process as the zombie tried to lunge for you. Grabbing the monsters wrist you sprinted towards the front of the store and then to the left, a sharp right and, watch your left for that zombie, straight out the other entrance to the mall. You quickly pulled the monster in front of you as you came to a stop. He stumbled at the quick motions but managed to catch himself. You turned to the wall on the side of the mall kicking off it to gain some height as you jumped up and grabbed the gated fence with your sickle still in your hand, pulling it down to the ground with a thud. Just in time, as the zombies reached out towards the two of you, saliva falling from their mouths, loud snarling and the rattling of the gate filling the quiet parking lot as they tried to reach for you. You were having trouble breathing as you now sat on the ground letting your sickle lay there as you ripped off your backpack and frantically began searching through the pockets. You could feel the skeleton looming over you but didn’t turn to look.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT YOU PATHETIC PEASANT! HOW DARE YOU DRAG ME OUT HERE LIKE THAT, I WILL MAKE YOU PAY FOR THAT!” His voice was loud and deep and grating and really really hard to ignore.

“m’lord? why are you out here?” there was another voice, low and gravely, or was it nasally, you couldn’t decide. It didn’t matter, someone else was here, but you didn’t care. You had to find it, it had to be here. You always carried it on you. Your lungs were on fire, you hated running!

“MUTT! THIS VILE PEASANT JUST GRABBED ME AND DRAGGED ME OUT HERE FOR NO GOOD REASON! TEACH THEM A LESSON ABOUT TOUCHING ME!” It sounded like an order, you ignored it as relief flooded through your chest. You had found what you had been looking for but no sooner had the short skeleton finished speaking you were picked up by the scruff of your shirt and shoved back against the gate where the zombies were. In a panic you didn’t even register who had picked you up as you brought your hand back and smashed it against your assailants jaw shocking them enough to drop you. You hurriedly moved away from them and the fence, bringing the inhaler up to you mouth and pumping it once, taking a deep breath in… and…. Out… in...and… out, another pump, in… and…. Out... in...and… out. Finally your lungs stopped burning and you could breath normal again. Your asthma wasn’t bad but boy did it hate when you went for long sprints through zombie infested malls, or parks, or highways. basically long sprints through anything would make your lungs burn and breathing near impossible. Turning around you could finally get a good glimpse at the two skeleton monsters in front of you. The tall one was clutching his jaw moving from side to side, as he glared down at you. Obviously the one you had punched, he had a gold tooth which was really the stand out on his skull, it went really well with the dark purple and gold collar around his neck. He was mainly dressed in dark purple and black, including black jeans, a thick purple jacket that you wanted, combat boots with the laces undone, not really practical but alright, and elbow long fingerless gloves.  The other one, the shorter one was looking enraged as purple sparked in his sockets. You couldn’t really say you liked the tattered crop top that showed off his spin, but the leather jacket, jeans, studded belts and high heel boots were all killer. He looked like he was about to yell at you once again but before he got the chance you took a step forward.

“Are you ok?” you asked eyeing him worriedly. The tall one dropped his hand from his jaw, not taking his sockets off of you and the short one seemed taken aback.

“I, YES!” he said sounding confused at your question. At least he was nice enough to answer it though “WHY DID YOU DRAG ME OUT HERE?!” He asked stomping his foot on the ground like a child demanding a toy.

“What?” you asked dumbly as you began to pick up your things from where they had fallen onto the ground.

“DON’T WHAT ME!! ANSWER THE QUESTION!” He crossed his arms and began to tap his foot impatiently. Well ok?

“The zombies?” You said nodded towards them as you slung the backpack over your shoulder “You were making a lot of noise, I was afraid you were gonna become dinner” You said smiling. The skeletons glanced behind them at the gate of zombies still reaching for anything that they could sink their teeth into.

“ARE YOU AN IDIOT?” The short monster asked turning back to you

“I don’t think so? Jury is really still out on that one” you told them nodding in agreement with yourself  “Why?”

“THOSE THINGS AREN’T INTERESTED IN US. THEY EAT FLESH NOT MAGIC! EVEN IF THEY WERE ATTRACTED TO MAGIC THEY COULDN’T DO ANYTHING TO ME AS I AM WAY TO POWERFUL FOR SOMETHING SO WEAK TO BEAT ME. YOU MUST BE AS BRAIN DEAD AS THEY ARE TO THINK OTHERWISE” He told you sneering over at you.

“Oh really? Wow! I didn’t know that!” You told them rubbing your neck with embarrassment, you hadn’t had much experience with monsters even before the apocalypse. But it made sense the more you thought about it. The two in front of you were literal skeletons! What where the zombies gonna do chew on their bones? You didn’t think so. “I thought you were some kid who lost his parents” you told them laughing in amusement.

“YOU THOUGHT I WAS WHAT!?! I SHOULD HAVE YOU FED TO THOSE THINGS FOR EVEN THINKING SUCH A THING!” The skeleton declared pointing back at the zombies

“I’d rather you didn’t” you deadpanned

“WHY WOULD I CARE WHAT YOU’D RATHER?” You shrug

“I did just save you” you pointed out smiling proudly at the achievement.

“YOU DIDN’T SAVE ME I WASN’T IN ANY DANGER YOU PATHETIC WHELP! I KNEW EXACTLY WHAT WAS GOING ON! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU EVEN DOING IN THERE!”  

“Me? I was getting supplies. Look! I got these cute socks!” You declared pulling them out to show the monsters. They both stared at them for a moment before the taller one started to dissolve into a fit of low chuckles.

“WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!” The short one shrieked causing the zombies behind him to put a little bit more force in their attempt to push past the gate.

“You mean besides being alive during the zombie apocalypse? Not much” You said shrugging. The short skeleton brought his hand up to his nose ridge, scrunching his sockets closed as he does, like you’d do if you were getting a headache.

“MUTT JUST TAKE CARE OF HER”

“of course m’lord” the tall skeleton said letting his chuckling die down as he stood up and outstretched a hand to you, he’s socket beginning to spark and glow a vibrant purple.

“Woah, woah wa-” something heavy hit the back of your skull and the world around you turned black.

Chapter Text

You woke up with a bad headache. It took a moment for the world to come into focus, your muscles tight and cramping as you became acutely aware of how little you could actually move them. You suspect that the rope constricting your hands behind your body had something to do with that.

“AH YOU’RE AWAKE PEASANT. I WAS BEGINNING TO SUSPECT THE MUTT HAD ACTUALLY KILLED YOU” The loud voice made your head feels like it was splitting in two. You finally managed to open your eyes to see the two skeleton monsters standing a few feet ahead of you. The short one standing with his arms crossed and scowling down at you, the other was leaning against the wall trying to look menacing. To be fair he did actually look menacing but you were to busy trying to focus on what had happened to actually let it affect you. You were in what looked like one of the back rooms of the mall, either some staff only office or a security point. You were tied to a metal chair with a thick rope near the middle of the room, in front of you was a large desk, the whole office looked to be in a bit of a mess with leaning filing cabinets and paper scattered around.There were two door to this room one on the left and the other on the opposite wall on the right. The right door was next to a large window that clearly showed zombies trying to push themselves in to get to you from inside the mall. You were pretty sure the window would hold but the crack already in the glass didn’t really instal complete confidence in you.

You glance down at the rope binding you to the chair. The had forced your hands behind your back and shifting around a bit you were fairly sure you could reach the knots keeping the rope in place but it was a stretch and definitely hurt after a while.

“What were you in the boy scouts or something?” You asked turning back to the skeletons and just trying to pull yourself free. It wasn’t very effective.

“EXCUSE ME?” you stopped struggling against the rope to give the monster a deadpanned look
“The boy scouts? They were a human group that learn survival skills to earn patches for fun... Or because their parents forced them to.” you looked up at the ceiling as you thought, looked like it had some water damage. “Come to think of it I had a friend who was in the scouts. He really enjoyed it, would always ask me to help with practice things so he could get the patches.” You let out a sigh and shook your head slowly “He was on a camping trip with a younger squad when this whole thing started. I wonder if he’s ok?” You eyed the window from the corner of your eye as you spoke. The zombies showed no sign of losing interest in you.

“WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS PEASANT?” The monsters voice clearly demonstrated his annoyance at your supposed rambling.

“Hm? Well what else am I supposed to talk about?” You asked smiling widely, the short skeletons eye socket twitching at the response. He closed both of them breathing steadily as he spoke

“MOST OF YOUR PATHETIC SPECIES WOULD CRY OR PLEAD OR AT THE VERY LEAST QUESTION THE POSITION YOU’RE IN.” The skeleton suddenly opened his sockets wide. The large purple lights seemed to glow as he took a step towards you, slamming a fist on the desk next to him making a loud bang resonate through the room causing you to wince. His voice seems to get louder as he yelled at you. “WHY THE HELL ARE YOU ACTING SO CALM. FOR ALL YOU KNOW WE’RE ABOUT TO TORTURE YOY BEFORE LEAVING YOU TO THOSE UNDEAD CRETINS FOR FUN! YOU SHOULD BE COWERING IN PURE TERROR FROM THE MALIFICAN SA-”

“STOP!!” you screech out causing the skeleton to stop mid sentence in surprise. It looks like he wasn’t used to being cut off. He quickly regained his senses though and continued on with speaking.  

“HOW DARE YOU, YOU LOWLY PIECE OF SCUM. DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA TO WHOM YOU SPEAK” Looking up from your spot tied to a chair the air was frightfully cold. The short skeleton stood directly in front of you, looking down at you as if you were mere dirt for him to walk on, his arms crossed over his ribs as his eyes continued to glow that majestic purple, illuminating the room around you. The other skeleton, leaning against the wall to the side, purposefully situated behind the one interrogating you, his face showing no emotion but one eye remained closed as the other sparked to life with a deep violet sending a threateningly silent message to you. Shut up and do what you’re told. Two things that really weren’t your forte. Although you were almost positive that if any other human was put in your current situation they would be terrified you couldn’t help but feel the pure excitement of this new experience.

“I’m sorry if I offended you Mr Skeleton but I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell me your name” you said in a calm voice.

“WHY WOULD I LISTEN TO A REQUEST FROM YOU?” He sneered. You sighed before looking over to watch the zombies claw at each other to even get a few millimeters closer to the fresh meat laid out and waiting for them to sink their teeth into.

“If I were to learn your real name I may just find myself getting attached to you. I’m positive neither of us want that, now do we” you asked turning back to smile up at your captors. He didn’t speak, glancing over you as if trying to figure out exactly what you were getting at. In fact the short one wasn’t even the one to reply to you seemingly lost in his own thoughts. It was the other one that spoke up first.

“m’lord, this human may be completely insane” he said turning his skull away from you for the first time since you woke up.

“How rude. I’m not insane, just comfortable” you informed them
“I DON’T UNDERSTAND. YOU WILL EXPLAIN YOURSELF THIS INSTANCE!” the loud one exclaimed pointing to you accusingly.

“It’s not that hard to understand really.” you turned back to watch the zombies. No brains to speak of they wouldn’t hesitate to push each other back, to claw, to tear each other apart just to reach their next meal. There was no hesitation, no doubt, not a single pause in their resolve. “Out there with them there is no second chances. You have to think fast, obey the rules or get eaten. It’s as simple as that. You have to have a strong belief that you are making the right choice because if it isn’t you’re as good as dead. You make a decision fast and you stick with it.” you turn back to the monsters “But in here with you two it’s a very different story. I could change my mind a hundred times, again and again and it won’t matter too much. Of course the outcome of what I choose to do will be different with each thought but the fact that I have a chance to think at all, that I ultimately get to choose what I’ll do. What a comforting thought indeed. We don’t really get the chance to think these days”

“you’re comfortable because you’re getting a chance to think?” it was the tall one again

“Sure! It’s quiet enough to” you said through a loud bang and gurgling of zombies still trying to reach for you.  

“I AGREE WITH THE MUTT, YOU’RE INSANE” You shrugged not really bothered what these two monsters thought of you.

“So what are you going to do with me?” you asked innocently, curious at this point what their plan was. It looked as if the short one was pouty

“IS THAT IS?”

“Hm?” You weren’t entirely sure what he was getting at.

“YOU’RE BORING ME PEASANT” he scoffed

“Would you rather I cry? Wail and plead for mercy? Offer you my life if only you’d spare it?” you mocked

“IT WOULD BE FAR MORE ENTERTAINING THAN WHATEVER THIS IS” you scanned the skeletons face as he leaned back on the desk.

“You and me have very different ideas of entertainment Indigo. Hmm no I don’t think that will work. It suits your colour scheme but not so much the personality”

“WHAT ARE YOU DRONING ON ABOUT?”

“Where’s my backpack?”

“EXCUSE ME?” the monster seemed irritated that you just ignored his question in favour of your own.

“Where is my backpack?” you asked slower, ensuring every syllable could be heard before returning to a normal speaking pattern. “I wish to leave soon and I'll need it. Can’t go too far with out my new socks!” the tall skeleton turned back to you, he was impossible to read. The other one started laughing

“LEAVE?! I THINK YOU FORGET YOUR POSITION PEASANT. YOU ARE AFTER ALL TIED TO A CHAIR. THE ONLY WAY YOU’RE GETTING OUT OF HERE IS WHEN I DECIDE TO FEED YOU TO THEM” He exclaimed smiling widely at the horde of undead.

“Guess we disagree on more than the definition of entertainment. Hmmm I don’t think I could stomach calling you my lord even if I did just shorten it to lord. Still doesn’t sit right.” You leaned back trying to think of a suitable name  for the short loud agree skeleton. He seemed almost childish, no he was definitely childish but seemed to think of himself as royalty. A name that has a connection to royalty and could also be childish? Hmm, that was a hard one.

“OH PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME, WHAT ELSE IS IT WE DISAGREE ON?” It was clear that his question was rhetorical, the roll of his eye lights and the infliction on the words made that clear. You decided to answer him anyway.

“Well first of all, I’m not tied to a chair” the room was silent for a moment.

“WHAT IN ASGORE ARE YOU-” The shock that overtook the skeletons face as you stood, allowing the rope that had once bound you slipping through your hands and falling to the ground. It was rather entertaining, watching the stuck up skeletons face contorted into an emotion that made him look weaker. For someone trying to act smart he sure did give a lot away from that face. “WHAT? HOW?!”   

“You really shouldn’t of let me talk. Now give me back my bag” You held out your hand waiting for them to give you back your stuff. The result instead was a tight feeling in your chest before you suddenly found yourself slammed back against the wall.  After the initial wincing of pain you opened your eyes to see the skeletons, still in their original spots. The tall one had turned to you now though, his palm outstretched towards you, he’s eyes ablaze with the deep violet magic. Was he somehow pinning you to the wall? How annoying.

“A simple no would of been fine” you winced.

“i’m going to enjoy systematically breaking your bones” you winced as the pressure on your chest increased, the force cracking the drywall around you

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING HUMAN?”
“m’lord?”

“SHUT IT MUTT, PEASANT ANSWER THE QUESTION”

“I don’t know, a simple walk to Mordor?” you replied through gritted teeth. It was becoming very hard to breath with the building pressure on your chest.

“AND THAT WOULD BE WHERE EXACTLY?” He couldn’t be serious? One look at his skull though told he was. The pressure increased again when you didn’t reply immediately.

“No where?! It’s not real” you yelled. There was a moment when the skeleton seemed to think things through before ordering your attacker to let you go. You fell to the ground and began coughing as air suddenly begun to fill your lungs once more.

“COME ON THAN, WE DON’T HAVE ALL DAY” The short monster said walking towards the door to your left, next to the other skeleton who seemed to bow slightly as he passed.

“I’m sorry. You lost me, what’s going on?” you asked standing back on your feet.

“YOU SAID YOU HAD NOWHERE TO GO CORRECT? YOU’LL ACCOMPANY US FOR THE TIME BEING” He said as if it was obvious

“What? Why?”

“OH THAT’S SIMPLE, YOU’RE FAR MORE ENTERTAINING THAN YOU GIVE YOURSELF CREDIT FOR” the smile the skeleton sent you sent a cold shiver up your spin before he turned to leave, continuing to talk as he does. “BESIDES, IF YOU REFUSE, THE MUTT HERE WILL KILL YOU ON SIGHT” A glance over at the taller skeleton told you that this was 100% true. You scrambled to your feet and quickly followed after the smaller skeleton.

After a while the three of you found yourself in the mall parking lot. A few abandoned cars littered the place and the ground was littered with abandoned rubbish but other than that it was empty. That was always a good thing about the zombie apocalypse, you could always find a park. The short skeleton lead you to the only car in the lot that was obviously not abandoned. The whole way over you could feel the other skeletons sight burning into the back of your own skull, he was obviously ready to attack you if you decided to run. Not likely to happen, you wanted your bag back. You didn’t really know a lot about cars, or anything really so you couldn’t say what type of car it was. All you knew was it was big, square, purple and splattered with dried blood. It looked sort of like a car people might drive through jungles in movies but with modifications to drive over zombies. Or humans. You were sure these monsters weren’t picky. The skeleton behind you pushed you forward slightly towards the back seat so you climbed in. The bratty one sat in the passenger seat and the tall one climbed into the drivers spot. As soon as his door close an audible click could be heard indicating that the two skeletons had locked the doors. The tall one threw, THREW, your back back at you before reaching down to his cup holder and taking a swig of. . . Maple syrup? That was a new one. You quickly made sure everything was still in your bag, beginning to rummage through all the pockets and run through a mental checklist.

“PEASANT I HAVE A QUESTION” The short skeleton asked as you rummaged through your back. He leant against the passenger window as the other one lazily draped himself over the wheel.

“Uh-huh, shoot” you said satisfied that everything was still in the backpack. Your sickle was and gun were the only thing missing. Looks like you couldn’t fight your way out.

“HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE ROPES?” you looked up. Even if the monsters weren’t looking directly at you could meet both of their eyes in the rearview mirror. You clap your hands together and smiled widely.
“That’s easy! You know how I mentioned that friend in the scouts? We’d practice tying knots together, I got really good at untying them.” The short skeleton quickly turned in his chair to look directly at you

“WHAT THAT’S IT?” He sounded almost disappointed.

“Yep that’s it. Sorry it wasn’t more interesting Raspberry”

“RASPBERRY?”

“Yeah! That’s gonna be what I call you! Raspberry and Maple Syrup” You gestured to each monster in turn as you named them “I can call you Berry and Syrup for short. Isn’t it perfect”

“YOU ARE NOT CALLING ME THAT!” Berry screeched. Syrup didn’t really seem to care about anything you were saying.

“Too late, I’ve already decided. Guess I should introduce myself! You two can call me Ace!” Berry turned back to the front

“DECLINED”

“What?! But why?”

“PEASANTS DON’T NEED NAMES. YOU WILL SIMPLE BE THE PEASANT”

“Naw your no fun Berry” you whined

“THAN LET’S PLAY A GAME” he turned back to you, his eyes glowing once more, illuminating the sinister smile playing on his teeth. “NEXT TIME YOU SPEAK WITHOUT BEING TOLD YOU CAN I GET TO CUT OFF ONE OF YOUR FINGERS” You smiled politely, making a motion with your hands of zipping your lips before an OK sign. By the way Berry’s face dropped he wasn’t entertained with that response, not that you cared, you weren’t here purely for his amusement.  He turned back to the front and Syrup finally started the car. What an interesting new scenario you have stumbled into but you get the feeling one way or the other Berry was going to try and break you.

Chapter Text

You had been pretty sure when first ran into the skeletons that there was something wrong with them. An odd phrasing here and there, their weird dynamic and of course the borderline kidnapping and undertone threats of breaking you. What had really concreted it was this though. You could hear Berry laughing through the locked door as you desperately tried to open it. It was no use though Syrup’s magic could clearly be seen surrounding it blocking you in. You could hear them behind you before you even dared to turn and look. The monsters had locked you in a small warehouse with a bunch of zombies, and these zombies were right behind you. Abandoning the door you picked a direction and spirited down it. You had to find another way out as it was obvious you wouldn’t get out through that door. You hadn’t been traveling with these monsters long, maybe three days all up? During those days you’ve discovered just how horrible they really are. Using you as bait so they could kill some zombies, refusing to give you food, threatening you and yelling whenever they got a chance, not just at you but at each other too, keeping you awake for an ungodly amount of hours and still refusing to give you any of your weapons to defend yourself. On the plus side your feet were now very warm with your new socks so at least you had that.

On this fateful day Syrup had informed, what you now know is his brother that they would need to do a quick supply run hence why you had pulled into this storage warehouse. After walking around the inside for about 10 maybe 20 minutes they had grabbed everything that they wanted or at least what they could before a small horde of zombies appeared out of basically no where. One of them managed to grab you through the metal shelving and had attempted to pull you towards them. From the looks of the vest they appeared to have worked here before being turned into the undead. By the time you struggled out of their hold and crush them beneath the shelving, all other zombies had heard the commotion and began to approach you and the two monsters who had accompanied you into this new hell were halfway to the exit door as they walked away at a leisurely pace. By the time you had caught up to them they were already outside locking the door and trapping you in. You had yelled at them to let you out only to be answered with laughter. 

Now sprinting through the small warehouse you desperately searched for another exit, cursing yourself for forgetting rule #3 and not locating one as soon as you entered. You would usually locate at least two before evening entering a new building. It was important to be able to escape, say, a small horde of surprise zombies in a warehouse that had a hunger for human flesh. Just off the top of your head. Thanks to your two new travel companions however you never go the chance to even look around by yourself let alone locate an exit. You suspect that this was so you couldn’t run away from them, not that you’d try. You saw how their magic could rip through the flesh of the undead and really didn’t want to experience it first hand. For now you were fine biding your time with them. The two skeletons still had your weapons so you had to continue to change paths and dodge lodging zombies as they tried to grab at you. Not knowing the layout you got trapped between two shelves. Zombies behind you and in front. 

“Seriously don’t you guys give up?” you asked the horde to no response “Guess I needed a bird's eye view anyway” you muttered, scrambling to climb up the shelf next to you. You could feel your lungs burning but tried to ignore that for the moment as you continued to sprint over the top of these industrial shelves. Jumping from one to the next as you tried to spot another exit. A window or, emergency door. Anything that could lead you outside. One of the shelves you jumped to was unstable causing it to tip over as you jumped onto it. Bracing yourself you lunged forward as you neared the ground, doing a somersault to help with the impact before standing back on your feet and continuing to sprint. You’d need your inhaler after this, you could feel it. You’d made it to the other end of the building, practically running into the wall before spotting a door. Another way out! Unfortunately a zombie on the other side had also spotted you. You began running again. It’d be a tight race to the door. You’d either get out or the zombie would get to you first. It was close but you got to the door first and it was locked. Shit. The thought of a locked door hadn’t had time to cross your thoughts. The zombie was so close, you couldn’t sprint back as the others that had been following you now blocked your path, climbing the shelving again would tire you out faster and it was already hard to breath but you didn’t really have time  to think of other options at this point. You took a single step forward before someone grabbed the back of your shirt and yanked you back. This was it, you were going to be eaten. The zombie held you above the ground by the collar of your shirt as you struggled to breath

“If you eat me make sure you do it fast!” You said wincing but nothing happened. You slowly opened your eyes and saw that it wasn’t a zombie holding you. “Oh, Hey Syrup” you were outside, Syrup had opened the door and pulled you out. He dropped you on the ground as Berry Threw your inhaler at you which you began to greedily use, eager to stop the aching in your chest. 

“DO YOU EVER SCREAM?” Berry asked tapping his foot impatiently as he glared down at you

“Only in the bedro- OW!” Syrup had hit you on the back of the head hard, a warning to take his brothers questioning more seriously. “I mean no? Depends on the situation” 

“FEAR! FEAR IS THE SITUATION!” You laughed

“Fear isn’t a situation” Berry rolled his eyelights at you “but no, I'm more likely to over analyze something if I’m scared. Screaming really can’t help anyone”

“YOU ARE SO BORING”Berry whined

“Yeah yeah. . . HEY! Did you lock me in a room of zombies for entertainment!?” 

“OH QUIT COMPLAINING PEASANT WE GOT YOU OUT” 

“I could of Died!”

“we aren’t that lucky” You heard Syrup say beside you. 

“Rude” You told him to which he blatantly ignored. You got the feeling that Syrup hated you for some unknown reason although you think it had something to do with you being human. He was hard to read and didn’t talk much at all. Over the three days you’ve been stuck with the two you think you’ve heard him talk maybe 10 times tops. Usually quite backhanded comments or agreeing with something his brother said. 

“PEASANT WHAT IS THAT?” Berry asked pointing down at your top. You glanced down to see black sludge splattered across it. Zombie blood. 

“Ewww gross” You said pinching your shirt to get it away from your skin

“YOU ARE NOT GETTING IN THE CAR WITH THAT STUFF ON YOU” Berry told you matter of factly

“What? What do you want me to do about it? It’s not like theres a shower around her or anything” You knew it was a mistake as soon as you said it. Berry’s smile grew ever so slightly wider, it was the smile he wore whenever he was about to torture you. And the glance back at his brother only confirmed this to you. 

Next thing you know you were standing in front of the building wall being hosed down like a horse, or car, or something else that gets hosed down outside. Apparently these two had found the working hose while waiting to see if you got eaten or not. The water was fucking freezing and although it did manage to wash off the gunk coating your clothes you were fairly sure that was to do with the suprisingly strong pressure rather than the water itself. Berry seemed quite proud of his work when he finally decided to turn off the tap.

“MUCH BETTER” You yourself felt far worse off. You were use to cold showers thanks to, well the apocalypse but you usually didn’t still have your clothes on for them. The water caused the cloth to desperately cling to your skin and it was cold! You were pretty sure the water was frozen moments before being blasted at you. 

“F-f-for who?” You managed to get out between the chattering of your teeth.

“ME, OBVIOUSLY” he told you turning around and heading towards another building. One that looked smaller and was obviously the sites office. Syrup stood still, looking over you which was very unnerving. You decided you’d rather talk to Berry as he was a better conversationalist so you jogged to catch up to the small skeleton. 

“Arn’t, arn’t we going somewhere else?” You asked glancing back towards the car

“ABSOLUTELY NOT, YOU’RE SOAKING WET. I WON’T ALLOW YOU IN MY CAR LIKE THAT” You stopped walking glaring at the monster

“Seriously?” He stopped and turned to you glaring

“IS THERE A PROBLEM?” He asked. It was obvious he didn’t want an answer. 

“Absolutely not!” you told him smiling and waving off the question.

“GOOD” He replied turning back to the office and making his way in. 

“It’s just that you made me take a shower in freezing water with my clothes on so i could get in the freaking car and now we aren’t even going anywhere and I'm cold and wet and have a high chance of getting sick” you muttered under your breath or at least you thought it was under your breath. Berry didn’t seem to hear you but Syrups comment of

“if you get sick we’ll just kill you. don’t need any dead wait” made you think otherwise

“Don’t get sick. Got it!” also note to self, don’t say things out loud. . . yeah you were definitely going to forget that. Turns out that Berry wasn’t bluffing either. The three of you spent the night in that cramped office after spending the day fortifying it to the best of your abilities. You were cold the whole time and it took forever for your clothes to dry. Your spite of the monsters gently breathing on the other side of the room was the only thing that kept you warm. There was no way you were dying from hypothermia after everything else you’d been through and you refused to get sick. The only plus side was that the skeletons actually let you sleep that night. You knew that sticking with these monsters was only going to be worse for you. They enjoyed watching you suffer but you honestly didn’t have another plan at the moment. You weren’t heading anywhere, the world was in ruin and if your being honest it was kind of nice to have company again, even if it was two litteral monsters. You were pretty sure staying with these two was going to get you killed but leaving them would also get you killed, by them. You were stuck with them for now at least. All you could do was hope that you’d die later rather than sooner but honestly that wasn’t new. All you had to do was stick to your rules and you should be A-OK. They worked for you so far after all and the only difference is now your being tortured by two sadistic monsters who refused to let you leave and will most definitely keep putting you in life threatening situations for their own entertainment. You know, normal everyday occurrences in the zombie apocalypse.