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i need you (but do you really?)

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Heavy breathes and choked sobs were all that could be heard as he sat in his apartment, lights low and mind running wild. It was times like these when he truly felt the pressure weighing him, his thoughts being more of a discomfort than a safe space. Broken promises flying through his mind as he thought about his life. The might haves and the disappointments. The maybes and the lies. Love was supposed to heal you, was it not? Why did it feel like love had left him instead?

He closes his fists tightly, punching the ground beside him. He hated this, god did he hate it so much. Nights like these made him feel as if he were the only person inhabiting this planet; nights like this had him feeling like he had no one to turn to.

It wasn’t as if he couldn’t handle being alone, at least that’s what he’d tell you if you asked; it was the silence that plagued him the most. It was moments like now when he desperately needed to hear soft laughter, words of comfort, or just the sounds of someone shuffling beside him bringing him warmth as he sits, legs curled to his chest. Yet, there was nothing aside from shaky breathes.

He inhaled deeply and closed his eyes before picking up the phone that lay discarded on the floor from moments ago. The thought of comfort pulling him closer into giving in and texting the one person whose warmth he needed now more than anything.

Their love was like a candle. It flickered softly, but still burnt bright throughout the night. It emitted warmth when the cold became too much and stopped them from stumbling blindly around each other. However, like most flames do, eventually it dissipates until there is nothing left but ash. Suddenly, there was nothing to keep them safe from the cold chill that settled over what used to be. What was once an adoring union that held their sanity in place was now a warzone in which no one left unscathed.

He tried so hard to glue back the pieces that had shattered into fragments right before his eyes. Even placing them in parts where they didn’t belong; desperation flowing through his veins. It wasn’t supposed to end like this, because it wasn’t supposed to end at all. In Jimin’s mind, this was it for him.

This was the man of his dreams, the person he had waited almost his entire life to meet.

If you had asked him before if he believed in soulmates he would say yes, every single time. He would claim that he’d met his match, his one. Never failing to boast about the man that set his heart alight and gave him a reason to believe in love again.

If this was his endgame then why did it suddenly crash and burn the way he had prayed it wouldn’t. Why had the love suddenly melted into loathing? Into something dark and twisted?

“I’m so sorry,” Jungkook had whispered, clutching Jimin’s shirt tightly, sobs shaking his body. “I’m so sorry, baby. It didn’t mean anything, I swear.”

Jimin squeezed his eyes tightly, mentally willing away the tears that threatened to fall. How could something like this happen? How did he manage to let something like this slip passed him?

Jimin grabbed Jungkook’s wrist and tore it from his shirt “Why did you do it?” he managed to choke out.

Jungkook dropped to the ground in a heap, crying loudly as he closed in on himself.

Under any other circumstances Jimin would have reacted instantly, pulling the man into his arms and wiping away his tears. In a different situation he’d whisper sweet words into Jungkook’s ear, giving him soft kisses until his breathing slowed and his tears stopped falling.

However, in this instance, he doesn’t. He can’t. Because the betrayal still lingers on Jungkook’s skin, colorful bruises expanding over the love of his life’s neck.

Beautiful artwork covering his skin, yet painted by someone else.

“I’m so sorry, it was a mistake. It wasn’t supposed to happen. Baby,” Jungkook looks up, his eyes red and puffy “Please, don’t leave me,” he takes a deep breath “Please, I need you.”