After 3 hours and 36 minutes in the car with his two screaming children and nagging boyfriend, Dean finally pulled into the driveway of Sam and Eileen’s house. Cas let out a sigh of relief, he can finally speak to another adult! Cas and Dean get out of the car and started getting the kids out of their overly complicated car seats. Upon being released, Ben immediately sprints out of the car and towards the house. He was done with being in the car. Cas lifted one-year old Emma out of her car seat, looked at Dean, wondering why their child was so strange (little did he know what was yet to come).
“Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!” cried Ben, “Where are we”
“We’re at your Uncle Sam’s house”
“Uncle Sammy has a house?” questioned Ben
“Yeah buddy” explains Dean “Did you think he was homeless?”
Dean looked back at Cas, with a large grin on his face, to see him and Emma making the same sour lemon face™ with the same head tilt. Without another word, the couple walked to the door to meet their dumbass child. Dean knocks on the door and Sam opens it.
Before anyone else can get a word in, Ben yells, “Hey, Uncle Sammy, did ya know you have a house?”
“Yeah, bud...I did know that...Did you not?” replies Sam
“Nope” Ben responds gleefully and he pushes his way through the door.
“As you can tell, he’s Dean’s child” Cas deadpans. Sam laughs and reaches for the blonde little girl in Cas’s arms.
“Well, come on into the house that I apparently didn’t own before! Ellen has been asking for Dean since she got here.”
“Finally, someone appreciates my presence” complained Dean
“Well, it’s kind of hard to ‘appreciate your presence’ when you’re stuck in a car with someone who won’t change the radio station for three hours” retorted Cas, with his bitchface™.
Bobby, Jo, Cas, and Sam are sitting in the living room watching the Kansas Jayhawks Football game (and when we say ‘watching’ we mean Bobby and Jo were watching, Cas was trying to understand and Sam was reading a book).
Bobby and Jo cheered when the team scored, Cas’s cheer was delayed due to confusion, and Sam raised his fist in lackluster fashion, without looking up from his book when there is a knock at the door. Cas and Sam looked at each other and both yelled “I’LL GET IT” and ran towards the door in a desperate attempt to flee the football game. Both rushed to the door, but in the end it was Cas who opened the door to reveal a small, red headed woman with a Star Wars shirt on.
“Sup, bitches, I brought beer!”
“Who’s this” asked Sam to Cas, who is smiling at the woman.
“Our small chaotic lesbian friend who apparently brought beer” replied Cas as the woman let herself inside the house. “Dean! Charlie’s here!”
Ben, instantly, came barreling through the house from the place in the kitchen where he was sitting with Eileen and Emma, screaming “AUNTIE CHARLIE!!”
“Hey, munchkin” Charlie said, lifting Ben off the ground into her arms, after putting the beer down like a responsible adult holding any young offspring of their friends.
Finally, Garth shows up, late as always. But this time, he was not alone. This time he brought his wife, Bess, and his year old daughter, Amelia (who was a month older than Emma, remember this). The moment they walked through the door, Emma started squealing.
“Looks like Emma is ready to meet her new best friend” remarked Dean
Everyone, finally, sitting down for the dinner Dean and Ellen SLAVED over for HOURS. But once everyone sat down, a knock at the door came, everyone, except Eileen (who was very confused) groaned.
“Who else did you invite?” asked Bobby, confused.
“Oh, I ran into Benny the other day” Sam remarks.
Everyone’s heads turn to look at Dean who is suddenly VERY invested on what Ben is doing, not wanting to look anyone in the eye. There was another knock at the door.
“....Is anyone gonna get that?”
“Dean, you should get it, you have that weird thing with Benny”
Cas slowly turns his head towards Dean, “What thing?”
“Sam, you should go get it, you’re the one who invited him” Dean ignores Cas’s question.
“I ain’t getting it!” Sam and Dean have a stare down.
“I’ll go get it.” Says Garth
After a minute, Benny and Garth show up in the kitchen.
“Hey, everyone. Hiya, Dean” says Benny.
Cas is not having it.
“Hi, Benny” Dean says, awkwardly.
“Hey, that’s my name!” exclaims Ben.
All the women and Bobby look at each other, as if they know something (foreshadowing ;) ). Benny smirks, as if he knows something as well. All the men (except Bobby and Dean) remain blissfully ignorant. Except Dean has a deep dark 'secret'.
The family ( and Benny) finally settled down to eat, when another knock at the door came.
Dean slammed down his silverware on the table, “WHO DID YOU INVITE NOW?!”
Everyone looked at each other. The knocking became insistant and Bess became tired of it and got up to open the door. Soon, in walked a woman in a long black dress and a tall sickly child who had feminine hips. Cas squints in confusion but then has a moment of realization.
“Father?” questions Cas
“Sup, son.” said the Tall Sickly Child, who apparently was God. The God-Child reaches into his pants pocket and pulls out loose skittles and throws them at Ben, who is completely fine with the assault.
“You want it? Go get it!”
“What the hell?” murmurs Charlie and Jo, in unison.
The woman in the black dress sits down and makes eye contact with Dean.
“Hello, Dean”, the woman says, seductively.
“Uh, hi?” response Dean, visibly uncomfortable.
“Oh HELL NO” says Cas, staring daggers at the Woman.
Charlie gasps, “CAS! There are children present”, she says, covering Ben’s ears. Cas’s looks at Dean and covers his ears.
“OH HELL NO!”
Everyone was beginning to leave and Charlie was out the door when Jo decided to walk out with her.
“Soooooooo….” said Charlie, so totally casual
“Sooooooo.” Jo responded
“You wanna get a drink sometime?”
“Um...Yeah, I think I know a place”
Jo writes an address on Charlie’s hand, “Meet me here at around 6 tomorrow night”
Charlie looks at the address, “You know this is gonna come off, right? I have a shower to take and I’m not gonna smell like shit for this date”
“Damn, I was trying to be romantic”
“Oh, it was”
“So, your plan worked” remarked Cas, looking between the blinds, watching his friend get a date, holding his sleeping daughter in his arms.
“Yep, got the lesbians together.” Dean said, holding Ben, who, like his sister is out.
“Yeah...So what the fuck happened between you and Benny?”