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Nightmares And Comfort

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Jack sat up in his bed, an almost scream caught in his throat. He felt like he was drenched in a cold sweat and he was breathing heavily, gripping at his sheets.

Images still played in his eyes from when he had been asleep and he gave a groan, hands coming up to hold his head. Ever since Lucifer had stolen his grace, making him human, every night this happened and he couldn’t stop it.

Rubbing at his eyes Jack tried to breathe and swallowing hard, pressing his hands to the side of his head as he tried to stop thinking about the images playing in his mind over and over again.

He hated this, he hated feeling this powerless and unable to do anything anymore. He hated not being able to help, he hated not being able to heal, he hated not being useful at all.

And now even this, even when he was asleep he was useless and this was something he had no idea how to fix or what to do.

Jack hesitated, trying to figure out what was the best option he had at the moment and finally, he pushed his covers back and left his room.

The hallways were empty of people, it was late at night after all, and he was thankful for that. He didn't want to talk to anyone about any of this.

Except one person.

Reaching the bedroom door Jack hesitated, he didn't want to wake him up if he was asleep. Moving carefully he pressed his ear against the door and dimly he could hear the sound of a laptop's keyboard being pressed and if he focused he could see a dim light coming from it.

Taking a deep breath he didn't let himself think about it anymore before he reached out and knocked on it softly. If he was wrong and he was asleep then it shouldn't have woken him up but if he was awake-

Jacks thoughts were interrupted when the door suddenly opened and Sam blinked down at him, a bit surprised.

“Jack.” he said softly, glancing around the hallway to see that they were alone. “You okay? What's wrong?”

“I don't know.” Jack said, shifting in place. “I’ve been...having these things at night, ever since I became human, and...I don't know what it is or how to make it go away.”

Sams features softened and he moved to the side from the doorway. “C’mon, get in here.”

Jack entered Sam's room, glancing around it. He could count on one hand how many times he had been in Sam's room and other than the changing mess on his desk it looked the same. “You're still looking for Michael?”

Sam nodded, taking his seat at the desk and gesturing to his bed, it was made and obviously not slept in. “Sit, and yeah.” he glanced at his laptop. “I’ve been hacking into traffic cameras and building cameras, problem is I don't know where to start looking so its slow going.” he shook his head. “But what happened with you? What's wrong?”

Jack shrugged, hands curled into the bed sheets. “I...don't know. Its...” he struggled to find the right words. “I keep seeing things, things that have happened. Sometimes its other things.” he took a deep breath. “I keep seeing Lucifer taking my grace or Michael taking Dean and sometimes….you. We’re back in that church and you’re dead and Lucifer's laughing and-” his voice cracked for a moment and his head bowed.

When a soft touch stroked at his head Jack started and looked up at Sam who had a fond yet sad look on his face.

“It's nightmares, you’re just having nightmares.” Sam told him. “It's a human thing, sometimes our mind just makes us remember bad things and creates bad things.”

“But why?” Jack asked. “What's the point of that? I don't understand.”

“I don't know the point of it, sometimes our mind just does it to us.” Sam said apologetically. “Buts its normal, everyone has them.”

“ do I make them go away?”

“For good? You can’t, its something that's going to happen no matter what.” Sam told him. “For now? Just try to think better things, relax, and try to go to sleep again.”

Jack glanced towards the door to his room and gripped at the sheets under him a bit tighter. “Do you?” he suddenly asked, not wanting to leave just yet.

Sam blinked. “Do I what?”

“Get nightmares.”

Sam breathed out slowly, glancing at his laptop for a moment. He ran his fingers through his hair and leaned back in his chair. “Yeah I do.”

Jack chewed on the inside of his cheek and leaned a bit more towards him. “About what?”

Sam sighed. “Things that happened, like my dad dying, Bobby dying. I remember Lucifer or other times that people I care about get hurt.” he rubbed the back of his neck. “A lot of times it has to do with Dean. Losing him, watching him get hurt, not being able to help him.”

Which meant, with Dean being taken by Michael, Sam was living a nightmare at this moment.

“ do you deal with it?” Jack asked, wringing his hands into the sheets tightly.

“Work mostly, I get up and do research, try to figure out solutions to the problems we have at hand at the moment. I go work in the library organizing everything.” Sam said, his hand moving aimlessly on the mouse pad of the laptop. “Sometimes Dean would join me, he has nightmares of his own, but,” he shrugged. “Deans not exactly here.”

Jack nodded, looking Sam over a bit more, trying to see him through a different eye. He looked tired, his hair was greasy and there was a slowly growing beard that he never knew Sam to try to grow before. The area under his eyes were slightly puffed out and darkened and Jack glanced at the bed again, noting once again that it was made and not slept in.

“Are you having nightmares now?” Jack asked, not sure of what kind of answer he was looking for or hoping for.

Sam was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “I’m having a nightmare right now whether I’m asleep or not.”

Jack felt his chest tighten at that and dug his nails into the sheets once more. “I’m sorry.”

Sam nodded, looking back at the laptop. “So I’m dealing with it. I’m trying to find Michael, I’m trying to find a way to save Dean from Michael. I’m also trying my best to guide the people here so my plates kinda full.”

“ need to sleep too.” Jack said. “It's not fair that you don't sleep when everyone else is.”

“I know but I can’t sleep, my beds kinda...empty at the moment.” Sam said glancing at it. “If you want you can stay here, I’ll be at my desk but I’ll be quiet.”

Jack slowly nodded. “Okay.” he said quietly, taking a deep breath.

Sam smiled at him and got up. “Alright, c’mon kiddo, let's get you into a bed.” he said going to his bed and pulling the covers back. “Get in.”

Jack slowly stood and went to Sams side, sitting on the edge and sliding his legs under the blanket. As Sam moved to drape the blanket over him again he reached out and grabbed at Sams wrist, tugging him.

Sam didn't move but looked down at him in amusement. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Trying to bring you into the bed with me.” Jack told him, still tugging at him. “C’mon, you need to sleep too.”

Sam glanced at his laptop. “I have work to do Jack, I can’t sleep just yet.”

“We both have nightmares, and you said that Dean helped you with yours. He's not here so I’m going to help you.” Jack said. “And you’ll help me.”

Sam just looked down at him with a small almost sad smile. “It's not the same.” he said, however he did move to get into the bed as well. Jack moved more to the side to give Sam the room. Slowly Sam laid down and brought the blanket up to cover the both of them.

“What would Dean do?” Jack asked, turning onto his side to look at him.

Sam leaned over to turn the lamp off before he laid back down. “Depends. Sometimes if we’re somewhere in the bunker he would just stay awake with me, bring me something to either snack on or drink.” he shifted and hit his pillow with his elbow. “But if we’re in a bed like this he’d just lay with me, sometimes he’d reach out and place his hand on my arm.”

Jack could almost feel Sam fighting the urge to laugh when he did that, slowly moving his hand over Sams arm. He repeated the motion and then moved a bit closer to Sam, close enough to feel his warmth, reaching out to grip at his shirt.

He could feel Same breath out and then he reached out, wrapping his arm around Jack and holding him. Slowly he could feel whatever remaining tension leave him and his body relaxed, pressing a bit more into Sam.

“When I was a kid and I had nightmares,” Sam murmured, rubbing his hand over Jack's back. “Dean would do this. We slept in the same bed a lot so he’d always be there and he’d always hold me. It got less as we got older though.”

Despite himself Jack felt that he was slowly starting to fall asleep, comforted by Sam's hand rubbing his back and the shear warmth and protectiveness he felt from him. “Why?” he mumbled.

“Don't know, maybe it was because he didn't want to share a bed anymore, maybe he thought something else, we never really talked about it and I didn't want to ask him to do it.” Sam said, his voice softening. “Later on we did other things to comfort each other but that's a different story.”

Jack wanted to ask what other things they did but felt as if he was being pressed down into the bed. All at once his sleepiness hit him and he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore. He felt warm, secure, and safer than he had ever since he had lost his grace and slowly fell back into a peaceful sleep.