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The Knight in Hot Pink Fishnets

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Sam and Hannah were lounging on Sam’s bed at his home. His parents had gone to bed and he had helped her sneak in through the window. Sam had to be home at least three nights a week to appease his dad and avoid a lot of suspicion, so there they were.

They never wanted him to be alone when he had to be home so Hannah would often spend the night with him as she was the easiest to hide. Tonight though Amanda was planning on showing up at some point so Hannah and Sam were trying to stay up and wait for her.

“Ok, would you rather suck the dick of a medieval knight or get in a fistfight with a robot from the future?” Sam was absent-mindedly braiding sections of her hair as they talked.

“Fucking gross dude! They didn’t bathe, so I guess I’m fist fighting a robot.”

“I’d suck a Viking dick.”

“Shut the fuck up! No, you wouldn’t!”

“Yeah? They’re hot why not?”

“Sam you’re the worst. I hate you the most.” Hannah shoved him a little but couldn’t hide the grin creeping onto her face.

“Right back at you.” Sam pulled her closer and rested his cheek on the top of her head. Hannah started playing with his fingers and they both relaxed.

Suddenly the door flew open and they saw his dad standing in the doorway.

“Samuel did you remember to-” his voice was cut off as he took in the scene in the room. Sam jumped up from the bed and stared at his dad, while Hannah looked back and forth between the two.

“Dad I-”

“What the hell is going on.”


“Why is this skank in your bed.” His dad cut him off while waving his arm at Hannah.

“Excuse me?” She stood up and glared at him.

“Shut the fuck up bitch,” he snapped at her before turning back to glare at Sam. Sam flinched back and stared at the ground before taking a deep breath and looking back at him.

“Don’t- don’t talk to her like that.”

“What did you say?”

“I-” Sam glanced at Hannah before squaring his shoulders. “I said don’t fucking talk to her like that.”

“Oh, so this skank made you forget your place, did she? We’ll have to fix that.” His dad stepped towards him and he flinched back, hitting his back on his dresser. His dad grabbed him by the front of his shirt, dragging him away from the dresser and throwing him on the floor.

Hannah launched herself at him but he caught her and threw her down next to Sam. Sam pulled himself over so he was on top of Hannah and protecting her.

The next five minutes were full of pain and fear from both of them. Sam couldn’t hold himself up anymore and a well-timed kick from his father sent him crashing away from Hannah.

“No!” He coughed out as his father turned his full attention onto her. Suddenly they heard a crash. Sam’s father whirled around while Sam and Hannah weakly looked towards the sound.

“Who the fuck are you?”

“I’m their girlfriend bitch.” Amanda stood at the window looking murderous. She was holding in her hands Sam’s baseball bat, and she walked towards Sam’s father with rage in her eyes.

Sam pulled himself over to Hannah, shifting once more to protect her from any danger. Hannah reaches up and weakly grabbed the front of his shirt. They could hear Amanda yelling and Sam’s dad screaming.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, you bitch?!?”

“My mama didn’t raise no wimp, however, she did raise a raging psychopath.” They heard another crash and Sam’s dad screamed again.

Hannah’s eyes started flickering closed and Sam reached down to touch her cheek.

“Hannah,” he rasped out, throat raw from screaming. “Please, you need to stay awake.”

“‘M trying.” She tightened her grip on his shirt and forced her eyes open. He let out a sigh of relief and then they both jumped when they heard another crash. Sam curled tighter around Hannah, both of them trembling.

“Shit guys,” Amanda’s voice came from over their shoulders. Sam scrambled off of Hannah as fast as he could so he could turn to Amanda.

“‘Manda?” He stared at her for a second before looking past her to try and find his dad. Amanda gently caught his chin and turned his eyes back to her, just after he caught sight of prone legs.

“Hey babe, hey hon. C’mon we need to get you two out of here.” She pulled Sam to his feet first and helped him lean against his dresser before picking up Hannah. Sam took a moment to help Amanda get Hannah settled on her back before leaning against her arm.

“Where’re were going?” Hannah slurred into Amanda’s neck.

“My house, Mike and Steve are there.” Amanda helped them out of Sam’s room and down the stairs.

“Thanks, for showing up,” Sam said as he collapsed in the backseat of her car.

“Yeah, our knight in hot pink tights.”

“You both are very concussed, c’mon we need to get you home.” Amanda was flushing and she climbed into the driver’s seat.

The drive to Amanda’s house passed in a blur for Sam, and the first thing he became aware of was Mike’s face two inches from his own.

“Mike, our girlfriend is the best.”

“She is, now let’s get you inside and some ice on your everything.” Mike pulled Sam into his arms and princess carried him into the house. Sam’s head rolled back and he saw Steve carrying Hannah behind Mike. He smiled at her and felt his eyes grow heavier.

“Sam! Sam, you need to stay awake!” Steve looked panicked and Sam felt guilty for making him worry, but he couldn’t keep his eyes open any more.


Sam crawled his way back into consciousness to the sounds of his partners talking nearby.

“Did you get everything?”

“His room is empty, as soon as he’s ready we’ll move him into the spare room upstairs.”

“‘Manda?” Sam blurily looked around and finally found her.

“Hey Sammy, how’re you feeling?” She sat down next to him and held his hand.

“Shitty, how do I look?”

“Shitty.” Mike appeared over her shoulder.

“Ha ha, thanks.” His eyes flickered closed again before flying open. “Hannah! Where’s Hannah?!”

“She’s fine,” Amanda soothed him. “She’s upstairs with Steve.”

“Oh thank god.” Sam looked at Amanda and hesitated for a second. “Uhm, Amanda? Did you, uh, murder my dad?”

“No, he was alive when I left. I even called him an ambulance.”

“Are you gonna get in trouble?”

“Based on the wounds covering you and Hannah I sure as shit won’t. It was clearly self-defense and on his side, it was a case of domestic assault.”

“Sam, this means he’s probably going to prison.”

“Huh.” Sam considered this for a minute. “What’ll happen to me?”

“Nothing, you’re old enough to file for emancipation.” Amanda ran her fingers through his hair. “You’ll never have to see him again.”

“Ok. Can we go to Hannah and Steve?”

“Sure, do you want me or Mike to carry you?”

“I don’t give a fuck,” Sam mumbled, his eyes flickering closed again. He felt someone pick him up and he drifted off as they tucked him into a bed next to another warm body.