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Another weird thing about Ben not being a woman, Larry only realises far too late just when he does something strange (when else does he ever have these important realisations, to be honest) is that Ben doesn’t have tits. Ben has pecs, kind of - he’s not ripped by any stretch of the imagination but certainly more muscly than say, Mat, whose chest is so skinny it’s practically concave - but Ben doesn’t have actual tits to grab or kiss or come all over.

They’re in the downstairs bathroom at Ben’s house. There’s only a two-year age difference and they’re now both on the wrong side of forty but the fact that this means Larry is truly now so much of an adult that he’s dating someone with a downstairs bathroom, or even a downstairs and upstairs at all in London and wait, did he really just think the word “dating”? Is that really what’s happening here? He’s not going to the cinema with Ben or taking him to fucking Wagamama, they’re mostly just frantically sucking each other off when their mates finally leave them alone together of an evening.

It really did seem like an age before Jim and Mat finally left last night, technically earlier this very morning, hours after Martha had said her goodbyes and of course Simon hadn’t even joined them at all in the end. It was definitely after 2am and at that stage where they’d all had so many post-meeting beers they were tolerating Mat showing them stupid YouTube video after stupid YouTube video on Ben’s smart TV, most of them warranting several plays through as Mat alone full-on wept with hysterical laughter and wanted to make sure that the other three really ‘got’ them even though Jim was struggling to stay awake and Larry was chanting “FUCK OFF MAT FUCK OFF MAT PLEASE JUST FUCK OFF MAT” over and over again in his head so much he worried he might accidentally blurt it out loud.

Both Ben and Larry were often times so thankful for the fact that Jim and Mat lived close enough to each other to share taxis, thankful for the fact Larry lived far enough away that he could stay at Ben’s without raising so much as anyone’s eyebrow never mind real suspicion, thankful that Jim always picked up on hints much quicker than Mat even in sleepy-drunk mode.

By the time Jim had booked an Uber, their Uber driver had arrived and Jim had dragged Mat off the sofa, out of Ben’s front door and down the steps, both Ben and Larry were so tired themselves that they went immediately off to sleep (and automatically in different rooms, Larry crashing out in the living room like the earlier days of … well, whatever this was) without so much as kissing. A couple of hours later though Larry realised the weird mistake when the sun blaring in through the open blinds and directly onto his face woke him up, and rectified it by quietly creeping upstairs, stripping down to his boxers and sliding underneath the duvet and into Ben’s bed, planting a soft kiss between his shoulder blades and running one hand appreciatively down the length of the older man’s side before rolling away from him to drift off again.

And right now, Ben is in his underwear and dressing gown, kneeling on the heated black-and-white tiled floor of this very grown up downstairs bathroom, his fingertips more than likely leaving little bruises as they dig into Larry’s hips and arse as he both steadies Larry at his seat on the edge of the bathtub and tries to draw him even further into his mouth and throat, his nose buried in freshly-showered Larry’s damp dark pubic hair. Ben had awoken to the sound of the shower running and while he did manage to resist the urge to join Larry in the shower itself, he also didn’t give Larry much time after he heard the water being turned off before almost running down the stairs, slamming the bathroom door open and pinning a shocked but not displeased Larry up against the wall with a kiss so forceful and urgent it felt like they’d been apart for more than fifteen years never mind less than fifteen minutes in real time.

Here they are again, Ben gagging on Larry’s cock, torn between wanting this feeling never to stop but also desperate to make Larry come.

It’s only when Larry instinctively grabs the hair at the back of Ben’s neck and wrenches his mouth away from his cock just in time to come all over Ben’s bare chest that it dawns on Larry that yeah, this is kind of a weird thing to do when there are no tits involved. In fact, it seems like such an overwhelmingly ‘straight bloke’ act to both of them that after Larry’s legs have stopped shuddering enough that he can release his white knuckle grip on the edge of the tub and he’s properly coming back down from the orgasm, Ben catches his eye and they both burst out laughing, reading each other’s minds as always.

Ben wants to say it out loud anyway though, because it is funny, even if it is obvious.

“Oh, so I’m the girl, am I?” he says in the gruff cockney voice Larry has heard him use in various sketches over the years which makes it all the more amusing, contrasting with the heavenly sight of this fucking beautiful man, his best friend, still on his knees between Larry’s thighs but sitting back on his heels now, looking down at the strings of Larry’s cum clinging onto his chest hair. Larry, still somewhat dazed but smiling wide, summons all his energy to pull Ben back towards him again by the shoulder, and leans his sticky forehead (is that sweat or is he still just wet from the shower?) on Ben’s, breathing still a bit ragged.

Ben is still in a joking mood and almost cracks himself up when he thinks of the inevitable follow up line and even pushes Larry away to make sure he gets to see his reaction properly, because making Larry laugh is only second to making Larry come in terms of what makes Ben happy.

“Well, you better get yourself down ‘ere and suck your girlfriend’s cock!” Ben says with an exaggerated point to his own erection which is straining at his underwear.

Larry barks with laughter, gently kisses Ben’s smiling lips and then gracelessly tumbles from the edge of the bath and onto all fours, more than happy to oblige.