The amber liquid burned his throat. He had no idea how much time had passed but the gnawing feeling of guilt was still there, making him wake up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat with tears falling down his cheeks. Three months. It’s been three months and he still couldn’t get over what had happened. He still couldn’t believe that Alec… his Alec… his precious, beautiful omega was pregnant. With whom? How could he do this to him? Magnus loved him so much and he missed him terribly. But what could he do? Alec was pregnant with someone else’s baby. He knew he should be mad but… but he couldn’t. He was still madly in love with him.
Magnus fiddled with his phone. He wanted to text Alec but he was aware that he didn’t have any rights to do so. He acted like the worst asshole ever. He didn’t directly say that word but it was clear enough what he meant by that. Magnus closed his eyes. He knew how much that hurt. After all, Alec did call him that.
“You never tell me anything! How am I supposed to be your mate when I know nothing about your past, Magnus?!” a very angry Alec shouted at the alpha.
Magnus always appreciated his omega’s temper. It was one of the reasons why he felt in love with Alec. However, this situation was driving him crazy.
“I told you so many times, Alec! I’m not ready to share everything! I’m sorry that my life wasn’t perfect and happy. Some things hurt and I am not ready to bring all those memories!” Magnus threw his hands in the air.
“Oh, right. Sure! So when will you be ready, huh? We’ve been together for quite a long time already, Magnus! And I still have no idea who your father is or how many lovers you had had before me!” Alec yelled, taking a step forward.
“They’re all dead! For fuck’s sake, Alec! They’re all dead. Why do you need to hear who I used to love three hundred years ago! It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean anything! I am with you and I love only you!”
Alec crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at his alpha. Magnus looked irritated but it didn’t stop the omega. Alec was furious. Earlier that day he found a box. A box with letters. Some of them were love letters. Letters from a few centuries ago. It didn’t stop Alec from being jealous. He couldn’t bear the idea of someone loving his mate in a romantic way. He couldn’t help it.
“Oh, really?! No, you fucking don’t! If you loved me, you’d have thrown those letters away! But no! You still have them. Do you still read them? I bet you do! Do you regret I’m not one of those people?!”
He was being ridiculous. He knew that. And yet he couldn’t stop. Magnus blinked back the tears. Speaking like that of the people he used to love… doubting his love for Alec. It hurt. It hurt so much.
“Why are you doing this, Alec? You know that I love you. I never had a mate. You’re the only one I want for my mate!”
Magnus tried again. Alec took a deep breath.
“I am not going to wait, Magnus. I want to know your past. I want to know you for real!”
“You do know me! Alexander… you know that I love you. And you know that I’d never leave you. Darling…”
“No! Don’t… don’t touch me, Magnus. I think it’d be better if I leave now. I need… I need to think about it.”
Magnus didn’t follow him, he gave Alec the space he needed. However, if he only knew… because his dear Alexander did think about their relationship after all. But, he didn’t do it alone. He paid Camille a visit, unaware of her true nature and intentions. She never meant to help them. She never meant to tell the truth. She played Alec and the poor omega fell for it. Magnus couldn’t blame him but at the same time he did.
Camille was a manipulative bitch and it was no wonder that someone believed her. But… if Alec believed him, none of this would’ve happened. He didn’t believe his mate, though. They’ve been together for quite a long time and yet Alec chose to trust his mate’s ex-lover, not his mate himself. That night Alec ruined their life.
Magnus tried calling him many times, he left hundreds of messages. Alec didn’t reply, he didn’t call back. The warlock was sick of it. He didn’t know what he did wrong but the guilt and anger were too much to take. He needed to calm down and have some fun so he went to the Hunter’s Moon. He didn’t know he was being watched, though. And even after all those months Magnus still had no idea how Camille managed to pull it off.
He had a few drinks but he wasn’t drunk. Magnus had a high tolerance so it wasn’t enough to make him unconscious. However… he wished it did. Just as much as he wished Alec talked to him. He wished Alec told him about visiting Camille, his insecurities, anything! But he didn’t.
Magnus was standing outside of the bar, enjoying a cigarette when she appeared. She said something but Magnus’ brain didn’t register anything until it was too late. She was fast. Magnus was too slow. He didn’t have time to react when she crashed their lips together. Magnus gagged. He used to love her but now she was more disgusting than a toad. He knew that. Alec didn’t.
The alpha had no idea when or how Alec arrived at Hunter’s Moon. He had no idea how much of this he saw or understood. And he never had the chance to get the answers. He pushed Camille away and wiped his mouth in disgust.
She smirked. Magnus wanted to scream and hurt her. But Alec didn’t let him even take a step forward before he pushed him on the wall. His head was spinning but he was very aware of everything Alec said to him.
“So she was right, after all! You are not done with your past, Magnus! By the angel… I was so stupid… you can only think with your dick! You’re like every other alpha!”
“Alexander! I am not! I didn’t kiss her! She’s manipulating you! This… this bitch…”
“No! You’re the only one whore here.”
Magnus was left speechless. Alec turned on his heel and left. Once again, Magnus didn’t follow him.
He understood that Alec was young, insecure and unexperienced. He understood that he was jealous. He understood that Alec thought of himself like he wasn’t worth happiness. He understood that Alec loathed himself. He understood that Alec was afraid to lose him. But what he did not understand was how his smart omega could be that stupid and naïve.
He didn’t want to understand anymore, though. Magnus was hurt. The words were more painful than a stab wound. And yet there were days when he wanted nothing more but to call Alec and explain himself. And then he would realize he wasn’t the one who was at fault. He loved Alec. He wished to spend the rest of his life with the omega. He dreamed about a family with Alexander. But Alec didn’t want him.
Magnus heaved a deep sigh and took another sip of whiskey. Five months and two weeks. It happened over five months ago and Magnus still couldn’t come to terms with that. It was so stupid! If they could only talk… but Alec never called him and the pain was piling up until he finally snapped. Magnus never meant to call Alec a slut, though. His omega wasn’t a slut. He was just lost… a very lost, very naïve, stupid young man. He made a mistake but he couldn’t apologize for it. It was too late, anyway. Alec was expecting a child. A child that could be their own. Magnus sighed again and then threw his phone on the table.
Back then Alec thought he was doing the right thing. He was sure he did the right thing. But now he knew it was a complete bullshit. The pregnancy did wonders to his mind. He grew up, he became more mature and definitely more intelligent. The whole situation taught him to first think and then do, right in that order. And that was the main reason why he understood how badly he had hurt his mate.
He was lost, insecure and afraid but he had no rights to treat Magnus like shit. The warlock needed more time and patience, understanding! But Alec gave him none. He had many demands but didn’t give much in return. He felt like an asshole. Magnus was incredible, loving and caring. Alec loved him to the moon and back. But it didn’t mean anything anymore. Magnus was sick of him and Alec wasn’t surprised. He was sick of himself too.
He missed Magnus and that was why he followed him to the clubs, watched him. And every time he wanted to approach him, to explain everything and just talk. But he was too proud for that. He was too hotheaded. Too hurt and definitely too ashamed of his behavior. Magnus deserved so much more. And if Camille could give him that, then he was happy for him.
It was fucking ridiculous and he knew that! The past five months were terrible and Alec wanted nothing more but to tell Magnus the truth. He didn’t do it, though. He never had the time nor energy. The pregnancy wasn’t an easy one and he was always exhausted. It didn’t mean he was free of his duty. After all, no one could know about his condition.
Alec managed to hide the symptoms and the growing baby bump that was already very visible. Loose sweaters did the job and since he always wore sweaters, no one got suspicious. Alec hoped it’d stay like this until the end. But the universe truly hated him.
He still didn’t have enough money to rent an apartment. He also realized he didn’t have enough talent to do any well-paid job. On top of that, the labor in a mundane hospital cost fortune. Alec couldn’t even afford it and with every passing day he became more and more afraid he’d have to give birth in a backyard. Just great.
“Alec!” Jace approached him. “It’s not good, bro… very not good…”
“Huh?” Alec raised his brow. “What’s…”
“Robert and Maryse are back!” he blurted out. “Alec, I’m so sorry. I had no idea they were coming today!”
Alec cursed under his breath. He knew it’d happen one day but he really hoped he had more time. Oh well, he and his luck. Alec grabbed Jace’s hand and dragged him into his office. He needed to calm down and somehow Jace’s presence always helped him do that. Alec took a deep breath. He still didn’t have any plan and his excuses were worse than bad. For three months he didn’t go on any mission, training, patrol, nothing. He couldn’t. He was left with paperwork since it was the only things that wouldn’t harm the baby. But his parents had no idea he was expecting. And he really hoped it could stay like this.
There was a knock on the door. Alec didn’t have time to say anything before his parents entered the room. Jace tensed and by instinct, he stood in front of Alec.
“Oh, we were not expecting you!” he faked a smile.
Maryse eyed him from head to toe and then raised her brow. Robert cleared his throat.
“You’re oddly energetic today, Jonathan” he said and Jace flinched. “I can’t say the same about you, Alexander” he squinted his eyes.
Alec was fucked and he knew that. He decided to try playing dumb. After all, he was a dumbass so it shouldn’t be this hard. He highly doubted it would work but it was worth a try.
“Hello father” he bowed his head a little and then addressed Maryse. “Mother. It’s nice to see you after such a long time.”
Oh no, Alec wasn’t angry they were absent for so long. He wasn’t a child anymore.
“Stop with the pleasantries. We came here because we heard that you, Alexander, are not doing any active job. We understand that you are an omega and every few months you are unable to complete your duty but that has gotten too far.”
Alec bit his bottom lip when Robert folded his arms, still glaring at his son. Jace cleared his throat.
“That’s… generous of you to be so concerned about Alec but… he’s doing fine. I have no idea what you’re talking about. Who said that? Raj? That little fucker hates Alec because Alec rejected him. It’s obvious he’s going to do everything to cause him trouble!”
“That’s enough!” Robert snapped and Jace shut his mouth. “It’s not only Raj. Of course we asked other people as well. And they’re saying the same thing. We want to know why.”
“We won’t leave until we know why.”
Jace looked at his brother. The concern in his eyes was visible and Alec really wanted to hug him. It was sweet how much Jace wanted to protect him. But… it was a futile effort. This was never going to work and he should have known that. Playing dumb didn’t work. Alec exhaled heavily. He really could come up with something but it wouldn’t benefit him at all. His parents would send him to do field work, demon hunting, or worse. And Alec just couldn’t do that. He had to protect his kid and going straight into the demons’ nest was definitely more dangerous than… oh well, maybe not more dangerous but in the Institute he still had chance to keep the baby. Out there… not really. He heard that demon’s ichor and poison could severely damage the fetus and Alec wanted his baby to be healthy. Even if he had to run away and never come back, it was still better than taking the risk.
“I’m pregnant” he blurted out, his voice lacking any emotions. Jace held his breath.
Maryse and Robert were left speechless but with each passing second the man’s face became redder and redder. Maryse was furious as well.
“Who’s the father?” she spoke first.
Alec ducked his head. He couldn’t tell them the truth. Magnus didn’t want to do anything with him and that he had to respect. So he chose the worse option – lying.
“I…” he sighed. “I don’t know. I… I was drunk during a party… don’t remember much…”
A moment later he was grateful that he dragged Jace into this. If it wasn’t for his brother, Robert would have punched him. Or worse. Alec took a step back and Jace pushed Robert away.
“For fuck’s sake, watch what you’re doing!” he snapped. “I always knew you were a shitty person but hurting an unborn child? Are you out of your goddamn mind?!”
Jace raised his voice. He didn’t care if someone heard him or not. However, Maryse did.
“Enough!” she exclaimed. “That’s… that’s enough” she glowered at Robert, making sure he stayed quiet. She didn’t chastise him for attacking their son, though. “That… what you did, Alexander is… irresponsible. I hope you know that you tarnished our name. What a disgrace…” she clicked her tongue.
Alec put his hand on Jace’s shoulder. The beta was shaking with rage but Alec didn’t want him to get in trouble. He cleared his throat.
“I know that. But… it’s already too late to terminate the pregnancy, so…”
“Five months. Five months and two weeks” he rubbed his temples. “I… I understand that you’ll want to strip me off my marks and that’s okay. But after the baby is born.”
Alec knew he wasn’t in a place to make conditions but well, he didn’t care. It wasn’t about him anymore. He wanted to deliver the baby. He had to make sure no harm was done to it. Maryse clenched her fists. Robert looked like he wanted to seriously injure Alec but Jace was still shielding his brother.
“That bastard can’t be born! How do you even imagine that?!”
“I will let you strip me off my marks. I’ll move out. You can fake my death, I don’t care…”
“That shame you’ll bring upon our name!”
Alec closed his eyes. Why the hell was it the most important thing? The name?! What the hell! He was pregnant with their grandchild. They didn’t have to be happy but the kid was innocent. Why did they want to kill him?!
“Robert, calm down” Maryse spoke, this time she was almost calm. Almost. “We can actually make this situation useful. But you, Alec, will have to cooperate.”
“What’s the solution, mother?” Alec asked, not sure if he wanted to know.
“We will fake it, just as you said. The Morgensterns owe us a debt. Valentine has a son, an alpha. We can arrange your marriage. We can fake the pregnancy was unplanned but the baby belongs to him. You were secretly dating and now you want to make it official.”
Alec didn’t like it at all but… well, it was a solution. A bad one but still.
“What will happen with the baby?” he asked quietly.
“We will get rid of that the moment it’s born. I assume he won’t want to raise someone’s bastard. That’s pretty fair” he looked at her husband. “What do you think?”
“Morgensterns are powerful. The marriage indeed can be good. But when they find out… you’re such a failure, Alec!”
“You can’t do this to him! And show him some respect!” Jace snapped. What the fuck?! He couldn’t believe it was happening!
“That’s already decided, Jonathan. Besides, we are showing mercy. We’re letting him have this baby…”
“Just to kill it a moment after it’s born!” Jace cried.
“That cannot be helped, Jonathan. Alexander is right. It’s too late to get a safe abortion and if he wants to be mated in the future, he needs to be able to carry children. At this point an abortion could really damage the womb” Maryse crossed her arms over her chest. “ Alexander, you ought to stay here and do… whatever you have to do. I’m going to send a fire message to Valentine. Robert, help me with it.”
Alec looked at the closed door. Arranged marriage… he could live with that. But if they though he was going to let them kill his baby…
“Alec, don’t worry. I… I also have a plan. We will work it out, I promise.”
“We must protect my blueberry, Jace…”
“And we will.”
Alec hasn’t been crying for three months. But right now he couldn’t stop the tears.