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kirby support gang

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[Ricky added Kirby, Meta, Asari, Dedede, Tiff, Tuff, Escargoon, Daroach, Marx, and Magolor]

Ricky: hello everybody!!!!!!

Marx: what the fuck is this

Tiff: language

Ricky: this is a chat so we all have easy access for communicating!!

Dedede: why did you add marx isin’t he on crack

Marx: are we gonna have a problem dedede

Dedede: my hand slipped im sorry

Tuff: uh ricky… are you sure kirby knows how to type?

Ricky: i’ve actually been teaching him how to read and write!!! but it appears he prefers talking in emoticons (or just poyo)?

Asari: dad energy

Kirby: ヾ(^∇^)

Tiff: there he is. theres babie

Marx: oh?? its kirby?

Kirby: \(°o°;)

Magolor: marx please dont bully the poor boy

Marx: hm

Escargoon: marx said fuck kirby lives

Dedede: literally

Meta: i mean he did

Ricky: hello meta!!!

Asari: just say husband

Ricky: i

Ricky: asari i know your secrets

Asari: fair

Tuff: soliditary

Tuff: wait pause is tiff the only girl here? ?

Ricky: yes, but i can add susie if she’d like!!!

Tuff: anna oo

Tiff: please

[Ricky added Susie]

Kirby: (。・∀・)ノ poyo !!!

Susie: what’s this

Ricky: a chat so we can all keep easy contact!

Ricky: oh yes i forgot to mention you can all text each other individually if you’d like!!!

Dedede: @Escargoon send nudes

Escargoon: THERE

Escargoon: ARE KIDS HERE

Escargoon: SIRE

Susie: jesus hotline on speed dial

Ricky: you can just exit the chat and click the + button!! you can choose someone to make a contact or make your own chat!!

Daroach: villain chat

Dedede: villain chat

Magolor: villain chat

Escargoon: villain chat

Marx: villain chat

Meta: i am a not a villain do not associate me

Tiff: meta said fuck villain lives

Kirby:(◎0◎)

Ricky: tiff!!!

Tiff: wait i didn’t mean to say that

Tiff: RICKY HOW DO I DELETE MESSAGES THESE ARE VERY INCRIMINATING RECEIPTS

Tuff: oh my god

Tiff: please

Asari: LET TIFF SAY FUCK!!!

Kirby: fuck! (`▽´)

Ricky:

Meta:

Escargoon:

Dedede:

Magolor:

Asari:

Marx:

Susie:

Daroach:

Tiff:

Tuff:

Ricky: kirby

Ricky: kirby please never say that again.

Asari: im so sorry oh my god

Asari: IHIJAID9898 j 8J

Meta: sorry my sword slipped

Daroach: META

Daroach: META FUCKING KILLED ASARI

Kirby: fucking! (`▽´)

Ricky:

Meta:

Escargoon:

Dedede:

Magolor:

Marx:

Susie:

Daroach:

Tiff:

Tuff:

Daroach: pleas

Daroach: HDYD7879 DJI KL;P Ho8

Dedede: ASARI AND DAROACH ARE DEAD

Ricky: F

Meta: F

Escargoon: F

Magolor: F

Marx: F

Susie: F

Tiff: F

Tuff: F

Ricky: OTHERWISE, do any of you have any name suggestions…?

Magolor: poo poo land

Ricky: i do not want kirby running around town yelling poo poo i know he can pronounce that

Marx: anti kirby

Ricky: no.

Susie: kirby support gang

Ricky: vaild! marx take notes you goblin.

Marx: im sorry sir

[Ricky changed group name to ‘kirby support gang’]

Asari: i just wwoke up what the hell happened to daroach

Meta: same thing that happened to you

Asari: touche.
Dedede: hey yall know that dude im always calling for funky monsters right

Escargoon: yeah that customer service dude

Dedede: add him.

Tuff: OH GID OH GOD

Tiff: im bullying him periodt.

Susie: are you sure… that man is always schemin …

Dedede: PLEASE RICKY WE WANT TO BULLY HIM

Ricky: @meta please do not go and kill customer service we do not want to have a bad situation!!!

Meta: hm

Ricky: please.

Meta: fine

[Ricky added CS]

CS: What is this?

Dedede: a suh dude.

CS: Dedede, you know you are fully capable of contacting me with the NME caller, right.

Dedede: what would i gain from that

Tiff: whats up bitch

Tiff: punk

Tiff: stupid little punk man.

CS: Who is this sassy child?

Asari: she wanted to bully you

CS: I can tell.

CS: I don’t really know some of you.

Asari: ill introduce

Asari: you know kirby meta dedede and escargoon so we have no need for that

Asari: daroach one of the dumbest baddest gang leaders out here hes a mouse

Asari: theres magolor and marx, theyre some funky lil guys, marx is kinda on crack don’t piss him off.

Asari: tiff and tuff, babies! they don’t like bad guys much.

Asari: my girl, susie, independent queen who said fuck bitches

Asari: ricky the MAN, creator of this masterpeice and kirbys dad!

CS: Those are horrible introductions.

Asari: sembra il tuo problema.

Escargoon: asari, daroach, i hope you two know i understand italian.

Asari: ANNA OO.

Daroach: youre a snitch??

Escargoon: no, but do not get out of hand you little goblins

Daroach: fine.

Dedede: uh man, whats your name again?

CS: Confidential. You’ll learn that when you pay NME back with you and your debt.

Dedede: WOW OKAY

Magolor: lets just stick with CS.

Tuff: CS said fuck dedede lives

Tuff: you know what NME corporation just said all of our lives.

Meta: dedede why do you still buy their stuff kirby always defeats them. Meta: NME is full of clownery.

CS: Delete this immediately or my lawyer will be in contact

Meta: lets do it baby i know the law.

Tuff: revenge of meta knight 2: meta knight goes to court

Daroach: ill be the defense

Tuff: revenge of meta knight 3: meta knight goes to jail

Daroach: you are like. 4 do not try it

Tuff: im 11 so shut the fuck up

Ricky: tuff.

Ricky: now i have receipts on both you and your sister

Dedede: ricky kills kids

Susie: we can all agree ricky is too much babie to harm anyone

Meta: true

Magolor: GUYS

Magolor: GUYS WHERE DID KIRBY AND MARX GO?

Meta: UH

Escargoon: MARX?? ? MARX DON’T KILL KIRBY I HATE HIM BUT DONT

Marx: magolor please keep your mouth SHUT.

Ricky: are we going to have a problem.

Marx: n

Marx: no

Marx: no i will not make a problem ricky im sorry

Magolor: kirby and ricky are the only people who know how to put marx in his place

Marx: OKAY LOOK KIRBY IS SLEEPING IM NOT DOING ANYTHING

Magolor: how do you know he’s sleeping

Marx:

Marx: no commen t

Kirby: (。v_v。) zzz

Meta: if any of you disturb him i’ll fucking kill you.

Asari: META KNIGHT ONLY SWEARS WHEN KIRBY IS SLEEPING I KNEW IT.

Dedede: ive never heard meta swear a day in my life this is surreal

CS: Dedede, isn't Meta Knight one of your knights?

Dedede: he is but ever since he pushed my car with me and escargoon in it down a hill ive stopped trusted him.

Susie: hey wasn’t that after meta nearly beat the shit out of kirby

Meta: dedede asked me to

Meta: and i went as gentle as i could

Daroach: what the hell is happening in dream land man

Ricky: its. quite the place.

Dedede: and im it’s king.

Daroach:

Daroach: dedede you have placed a curse on yourself

Dedede: what

Asari: fuck

Asari: THE PATRIARCHY.

Dedede: U HI U H UUH UH WHAT DOY OU MEAN BY FUCK

Asari: whatever the fuck you think it’ll be

Dedede: bro your gonna fuck me???

Escargoon: KSJDSJBVNCJ

Asari: i

Asari: actually maybe

Daroach: ANNA OOOOO

Ricky: im so happy tiff and tuff are asleep they don’t deserve to see this

Marx: wait does this mean we can swear properly now?

Ricky: i suppose!

Dedede: I LIKE CASH AND MY HAIR TO MY ASS DO THE THE DASH CAN YOU MAKE IT GO FAST FUCK THE FAME ALL I WANT IS THEM BANDS
CS: okay but bop

Meta: HUhH?
CS: How do I delete messages

Magolor: cs type normally you are not impressing anyone.

Susie: yeah man the kids are asleep they won’t bully you

CS: im begging yall don’t tell nightmare i talk like this.

Chapter Text

12:36

Ricky: I WOKE UP LLATE?KS?
Meta: i didn’t want to wake you
Kirby: (`▽´) poyoooo!!!
Dedede: WHY IS ESCARGOON STILL ASLEEP??/
Tuff: bro tiff is literally dead asleep JSJAKJS
Tuff: guys should i pour water on her and pretend to be asleep
Susie: let her sleep tuff
Ricky: let them sleep in it’s what they deserve
Dedede: fine
CS: I thought everybody got up at 6?
Daroach: dude
Daroach: i can’t even move at 6 how the hell do you wake UP
CS: Effort.
Daroach: hmm
Magolor: where’s marx? i woke up and he wasn’t in bed?
Daroach: yall sleep togheter?
Magolor: suddenly i don’t know who marx is.
Dedede: pause
Dedede: yall dating?
Magolor: im not saying anything without marx’s confirmation
Tuff: tiff owes me 50 now
Magolor: YALL ARE LIKE 2 HOW DO YALL HAVE MONEY TO BET ON RELATIONSHIPS
Tuff: we stole it
Magolor:
Magolor: ah.
Asari: it’s so early why the hell are yall awake
Dedede: honey its 12:30…
Asari: oh
Asari: forreal?
Escargoon: ITS 12:30///?!?/1?1??!?1//1///!?/!
Escargoon: WHAT RTEHE YFUCJ PGCJ YDG
Escargoon: IM SORRY
Dedede: ricky told me to spare you
Escargoon: ricky i owe you my life
Escargoon: i am in your DEBT
Ricky: its okay i woke up like 10 minutes ago!!!
Escargoon: i will buy you 100 books for your library.
Dedede: dude do you even have money
Escargoon: i will STEAL 100 books for your library.
Ricky: its okay you do not have to do that!!!
Asari: unless its a rich corporation.
Asari: take dat shit.
Dedede: fuck capitalism
Susie: something we can all agree on
Marx: hey i just woke the fuck up
Marx: mago why am i here
Magolor: what are you talking about
Magolor: why are YOU there???
Marx: what do you mean dude why am i here??/
Magolor: i woke up and you were gone bro
CS: I don’t know the full situation, but maybe you slept walked?
Marx: oh FUCK
Daroach: did you kill someone in your sleep
Asari: wait
Asari: didn’t you rip a fat bon-
Ricky:
Meta:
Escargoon:
Dedede:
Magolor:
Asari:
Marx:
Susie:
Daroach:
Tiff:
Tuff:
Ricky: oh my god.
Marx: asari.
Marx: i
Marx: am going to come to your home.
Marx: and RIP you into fucking atoms.
Tuff: marx smokes weed
Dedede: LFMRJEUND SBuzjzn $$$ 7:!:
gn :
hamb)8
Daroach: LMFAOFOODROODODOGTKNFIDR SHRNF D BRUHHHHD DHFNF. F
Escargoon: I FEEL LIKE ALL MY QUEDTIONS HAVE VEEN AWNSERED…
Magolor: @asari marx left 5 minutes ago please run oh god he broke the door he doesn’t have hands oh mygod
Meta: HE DOESN'T HAVE HANDS…
Susie: this is like watching a murder
Asari: i’m gonna shave and run to a foreign galaxy goodbye
Asari: AYE IS THAT HIM??????????
Daroach: YOOOO IS THAT TBE THUMPING
Dedede: THE FLOOR IS VIBRATING LIKE A HITACHI WAND ASARI YOU REALLY FUCKED UP.
Tuff: ID ROAST DDD FOR KNOWING WHAT A HITACHI WAND IS BUT SERIOUSLY ASARI ACTUALLY RUN
Magolor: asari im so fucking sorry this is the only time i’ll swear but i’m so fucking sorry
Asari: hes. outside my door.
Asari: i’m hyperventilating
Daroach: ASARI YOU WERE THE BEST BROTHER OF ALL TIME I LVOE YOU
Asari: everyone i want you to know i love you i wish i was joking when i’m saying i really think this is it.
Asari: HE OPENED THE DOOR WITHOUT HANDS THE POWER OF MARIJUA
Asari: EO SN ! i0 €€h

[Asari has been disconnected]

Marx: ahem
Marx: do any of you happen to know how to wash blood stains?
CS: Is it bad to say i’m actually terrified.
Daroach: oh…. my fuckig god.
Daroach: MARX WHAT THE FUCK
Daroach: HOW DID YOU DO THIS I
Marx: snitches get stitches baby
Tuff: WHAT HAPPENED
Susie: do we need emergency services
Daroach: HMMMM I DONT ONOW HEY @marx DO YEW THINK HIS WILL NEED YCKUNG EMERGENCY SERVICES
Marx: naw he good
Daroach: MARX
Daroach: TGERE IS BLOOD
Daroach: DRIPPING OUT OF HIS HEAD. AND. GIS MOUTH
Ricky: okay i need back up
Ricky: i’m bringing in some one y’all

[Ricky added Dark Meta Knight]

Meta: i…
Ricky: HONEY IM SO SORRY I DONT LNOW WHO ELSE MIGHT BE ABLE TO HANDLE MARXS GOBLIN ENERGY FOR PROLONGED PERIODS
Dark Meta Knight: If it ISN'T THE BIGGEST FUCKER ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MIRROR!
Meta: THEY’RE MAY BE FUCKING KIDS HERE BUT I AM NOT HESITATING TO CUSS YOU THE FUCK OUT.
Tiff: i’m taking a nap what the hell is happening
Daroach: BABE MARX FIUCKING KILLED ASARI
Meta: BABE?
Daroach: OH FCUKC
Dark Meta Knight: YEAH WE DATING WHAT ABOUT IT YOU META SHITHEAD
Meta: SORRY I HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR TASTE IN ACTUAL GARBAGE DAROACH
Ricky: oh god please calm yourselves
Magolor: MARX ASARI SITUATION ON HOLD WHAT IS HAPPENING
Susie: ricky has started a war
Daroach: META IM SORRY I DIDNT KNOW YALL HAD BEEF
Meta: GARBAGE. ¡¡¡¡BASURA!!!!
Dark Meta Knight: ¿RECUERDA CUANDO ME LLEGO A LA MIERDA? Me alegraré de nuevo!!!!!!!!!
Kirby: (☉_☉)

[Ricky placed Meta and Dark Meta Knight into private chat]

Ricky: i am so sorry for that!!!!!!!!
CS: May I ask- excuse my language- what the actual fuck just happened?

Chapter Text

3:25 pm

CS: My question still stands
Ricky: sorry i just-
Dedede: they’ve been in priv chat for like 3 hours should we bring them back
Daroach: no
Daroach: meta has a death wish for me
Ricky: dont worry meta is not mad at you he just!!
Ricky: has a complicated relationship with dkm !!
Escargoon: ‘complicated’
Kirby: (。・∀・)ノ poyooooo
Ricky: you want to add someone?
Kirby: (`▽´) poyo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Susie: add them i need to see more beef
Kirby:(◎0◎)

[Ricky added Bandana Dee and Shadow Kirby]

Kirby: (`▽´)ノ poyo !!
Shadow Kirby: poyo? ●︿●
Bandana Dee: whats this??
Ricky: i said this was originally for easy communication but its just a chat at this point
Shadow Kirby: poyoooooooo (`A´)
Bandana Dee: he said wheres dark meta knight
Ricky: okay i’ll add them back!!!
Daroach: ohhh god

[Ricky re-added Meta and Dark Meta Knight]

Ricky: have you two worked out that argument?
Dark Meta Knight: NO
Meta: he doesn’t even know how to turn caps like a fuckin idiot
Meta: he was yelling at me the whole time
Dark Meta Knight: I ASKED YOU HOW DO I TURN OFF CAPS AND YOU TOLD ME TO FUCK OFF
Meta: SEE HE’S YELLING AT ME
Ricky: can you two get along for like 5 seconds god sakes
Meta: no
Dark Meta Knight: NO
Susie: such duality
Shadow Kirby: poyo!!!! ┗(`・ω・´)┛
Dark Meta Knight: THERES MY CHILD
Dark Meta Knight: RICKY THANK YOU FOR ADDING HIM
Ricky: kirby asked me to!
Dark Meta Knight: @meta I RESPECT YOUR KID MORE THAN YOU
Meta: fuck OFF
Ricky: i am so close to putting you two back into priv chat
Dark Meta Knight: SORRY
Meta: sorry
Dedede: is it safe to come back now
Dedede: and what happened to asari
Daroach: he’s dead as roadkill
Daroach: actually he’s alive but looks like roadkill
Marx: omg my power !!!
Escargoon: we can all mutually agree that we’re terrified of marx
Tuff: yeah wow
Tuff: kirby told me you were ugly as a mofo not a killer
Marx: HE WHAT
Kirby: (☉_☉)
Tiff: TUFF SNITCHED
Marx: kirby you are a rotten little boy
Marx: ROTTEN
Tiff: sorry only dedede can cuss out kirby
Tiff: this means we have to fight
Marx: get lost in the dam sauce
Marx: i will legally be allowed to cuss out kirby whenever i want
Dedede: tiff i may despise you but please do not fight marx
Tiff: ugh okay
CS: @dedede Would you like a monster free of charge to fight Marx?
Dedede: thats animal cruelty
CS: Actually yeah.
Ricky: hmmmmmmmmmm my back hurts
Daroach: why
Ricky: cause im always carrying this stupid chat
Dedede: HFSJJKC
Ricky: we need a mod i cannot handle you all!!!
Ricky: hmmmmmm
Ricky: marx and CS are immediately out of the question!!!!
Marx: wow ok
CS: What did I do?
Ricky: work for a evil corporation
CS: Oh okay.
Ricky: i feel like Dedede would try to kick kirby and tiff
Dedede: okay reasonable
Ricky: marx would probably threaten or steal magolor's phone and go ham
Ricky: asari is dead and has a destroyed phone, and daroach is far too stressed so
Daroach: okay but thank you this chat seems hard to handle
Ricky: tiff, tuff, kirby, and shadow kirby are literally children
Ricky: and i know tiff would kick dedede and escargoon
Tiff: this is slander
Tuff: its true doe
Kirby: ●︿●
Shadow Kirby: ●︿●
Ricky: @meta @darkmetaknight you two can't…. even control yourselves
Dark Meta Knight: HMMMM
Meta: hmmmm
Ricky: so the last 3 are susie, bandana dee, and escargoon!
Ricky: hmmmmmm
Escargoon: why me
Ricky: you may be a goblin sometimes but you are a good snail!!!!
Escargoon: im tearing up omg
Susie: im carrying a corporation i can’t
Ricky: uh oh
Ricky: OKAY
Ricky: SO

[Ricky has modded Escargoon and Bandana Dee]

[Escargoon has kicked Dedede]

Tiff: LMFAOOOOOVFHJSDJKDJAKJSDJKKL

 

[Ricky re-added Dedede]

Ricky: escargoon please
Dedede: YOUR OWN KING???? ?
Escargoon: my hand slipped im sorry sire :((((

Chapter Text

12:26 am

Susie: okay i apologize for how late it is but @dedede i have a important question for you
Dedede: okay spill
Susie: please dont think im bullying you or like im trying to be weird this has just been on my mind since i met so
Susie: okay so
Susie: do you by any chance have
Dedede: ?
Susie: man titties?
Dedede: HUHHHHH HGHSHJD?
Susie: PLEASE I CAN’T THIS QUESTION HASN’T LEFT ME ALONE FOREVER
Escargoon: well??/ ur just gonna leave her hanging dedede???
Dedede: I DONT KNOW!!!”!”!”!??
Dedede: ESCARGOON DO I HAVE MAN TITS??]
Escargoon: i dont know you wear a shirt
Susie: i mean I DONT THINK you have man tittes
Bandana Dee: he doesn’t
Escargoon:
Escargoon: how
Escargoon: would you know
Bandana Dee: i walked into the royal bathroom and he was taking a bath and the last thing i saw was him leaning over to grab his hammer and throw it at me.
Bandana Dee: flat chested
Susie: we….
Dedede: thank you bandana dee, very cool!!!
Escargoon: i mean you cant be mad at susie for asking your always covering up ur titties
Dedede: SEE “flat chested”
Daroach: we talking about titties?
Susie: hell yeah
Daroach: i think i have tits
Dark Meta Knight: YOU DON’T
Dedede: and how would you know that?
Dark Meta Knight: CAUSE WE FUCKING
Escargoon: OH
Dedede: GYDVSIDSJKJNVKCDLKCSKLCD
Escargoon: M Y GOD
Dedede: GET HIS ASS
Susie: daroach exposed…. nun of us got tits…
Daroach: SAY LESS
Daroach: ok but i miss my bro…
Dedede: can we get a proper titty gang f for him
Daroach: f
Susie: f
Escargoon: f
Dark Meta Knight: f
Dedede: f
Susie: do you want me to get him a new phone if he ever recovers?
Daroach: yes please he’s actually kinda getting better so i want him to bully marx the second he’s actually okay
Marx: did someone call me
Daroach: speak of the devil
Susie: marx quick question are you a clown
Marx: no im a jester
Dedede: thats like the exact same thing
Marx: its not jesters are
Marx: jesters are
Marx: wait
Dedede: SEE?”? bro theyre basically related
Daroach: marx be like *clown noises*
Marx: this is why i call myself a jester because yall would probably send me clown shoes for every holiday
Susie: yeah cause we want you to feel at home
Marx: home?
Susie: a circus tent
Marx: FIRST OF ALL I-
Dedede: *clown noises*
Susie: *clown noises*
Daroach: *clown noises*
Marx: IM CALLIGN MAGOLOR
Susie: what? so he can blast the circus theme in your ear without being beaten to a pulp?
Daroach: WE KNOW HOW YOU WORK, MARX.
Marx: SHUT IT RAT OR ILL GET THE RAID
Daroach: WHY WOULD YOU GET RAID???
Marx: DA‘ROACH’
Daroach: THATS JUST MY NAME
Marx: YOU WERE NAMED THE ROACH
Susie: hol y shit hes right
Dedede: *clown noises and raid bottle shaking*
Daroach: HOW DID THIS GET FROM MAN TITS TO FUCKING TO CLOWNS TO ROACHES
Susie: gods prophecy
Susie: he’s trying to tell us something…
Dedede: what is he saying…?
Susie: we need to add someone.
Dedede: @escargoon wake the fuck up
Escargoon: what
Susie: add adeleine and ribbon
Escargoon: who??
Escargoon: wait isint that dmk and daroach’s kid
Daroach: YES
Dark Meta Knight: UGH

[Escargoon added Adeleine and Ribbon to the chat]

Chapter Text

Daroach: all of my children are here omg…. im tearing up
Adeleine: where am i
Ribbon: is this a chat where we all cuss eachother out and meme or something
Susie: oop-
Dark Meta Knight: YEAH BASICALLY
Marx: omg more kids to bully
Daroach: MARX ILL GET THE RAID YOU ROACH
Marx: YOUR THE ROACH
Daroach: THEN ILL CALL THE AUHORITIES
Marx: YOUR LITERALLY A THIEF
Daroach: oh yeah
Daroach: my bad
Marx: dumbass
Ribbon: are we allowed to swear
Dedede: ur like 1 foot tall how to you have the room in your body to swear
Dark Meta Knight: YEAH YOU GUYS CAN SWEAR
Daroach: DARK META WHAT
Daroach: NO YOU CAN’T SWEAR
Daroach: IT APPLIES TO ALL THE KIDS
Adeleine: fuck
Daroach: A
Daroach: DELEINE
Daroach: WHAT
Daroach: DID I
Daroach: JUST SAY?
Adeleine: dark dad said we could swear stop taking away my rights to swear
Daroach: YOU ARE LIKE 7 ADELEINE
Ribbon: im not
Daroach: YOU ARE ONE FOOT TALL
D Kirby: bitch!!! (`A´)
Dedede: oh shit
Susie: oh shit
Escargoon: oh shit
Marx: oh shit
Dark Meta Knight: OH SHIT
Adeleine: oh shit
Ribbon: oh shit
Daroach: YOU ARE ALL LITTLE GREMLINS. GOBLINS
Ribbon: and what about it
Daroach: i cannot handle this RIBBON YOU NEVER ACTED LIKE THIS
Daroach: DID SOMEONE TEACH YOU HOW TO SWEAR???!?!?
Ribbon: no bro…. we had a awakening….
Adeleine: we did…. third eye open bro…
Daroach: @Dark Meta Knight you handle this ive had ENOUGH
Escargoon: i thought you were persistent
Daroach: do you know how tired i am
Adeleine: hey i just looked back through the chat why were yall talking about tits
Daroach:
Dedede: because its what adults do we talk about tits all day bro
Daroach: DEDEDE SAY LESS
Kirby: POYO!!! (。・∀・)ノ
Adeleine: omg kirby is here??????
Adeleine: HELLO KIRBY!!!!
Ribbon: hello kirby!!!!!!!
Escargoon: dedede stole my phone to try and kick him but it turns out ricky disabled my kicking feature
Dedede: dam im kinda craving some escargot rn ngl……
Marx: wait do you think we can actually make escargoon into an actual giant escargot
Escargoon: MARX CAN YOU BE QUIET?
Marx: naw…. kinda hungry bro…..
Susie: please don't harass the local snail
Dedede: no
Susie: please don’t cook him
Dedede: ok fine
Marx: i wonder what fried penguin tastes like
Dedede: i wonder what fried clown tastes like
Susie: yall are so AGGRESSIVE
Marx: sorry luv it’s our job!!!
Dedede: xoxoxo !!!
Daroach: okay i put the kids to bed now i can be ham
Adeleine: we still have our phones
Daroach: go to bed i don’t want to take them away
Adeleine: ok gn love you dads also ribbon and shadow kirby sat they loves you guys and gn
Daroach: love you too
Dark Meta Knight: LOVE YOU TOO
Susie: AWWWWWWWWWW
Marx: THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK BRO…
Escargoon: AWWWWWWWWWWWWEEEEE
Dedede: OMGGGG AWWWWWW
Dark Meta Knight: ALL OF YOU SAY LESS
Daroach: ill give up everything for these dam kids man
Susie: dont you mean YOUR KIDS
Escargoon: bro they literally call yall dad
Escargoon: im being deadass i thought you guys adopted them
Daroach: we did
Dark Meta Knight: NOT LEGALLY OF COURSE BUT Y’KNOW
Dedede: im going to bed that fucking cuteness drained 89% of my energy
Escargoon: yeah me too holy shit
Susie: you guys sleep together
Escargoon: ZZZ...ZZZ
Dedede: ZZZ.Z.Z.Z.ZZZZ..
Susie: okay yeah im tired too i need to work
Marx: kin gn
Daroach: goonight yawl
Dark Meta Knight: GOODNIGHT GOBLINS
Marx: i can hear the raid shaking
Daroach: GOODNIGHT, MARX.

Chapter Text

3:26 am
Marx: jhhsjj…
Marx: ...bizza…..
Marx: pizza…..
CS: What?
Marx: can you orderr me… bizza
CS: no
Marx: pleaeg.. . .
Meta: why do you want pizza it’s almost 3:30
Marx: I JUSG WANT PIZZA PLEASE
CS: Then order it?
Marx: i dont have money.. . :(((((
Meta: @Escargoon can you get him pizza
Meta: @Escargoon dont leave us on read
Escargoon: its 3 am what do yall WANT
Meta: pizza
Escargoon: then come to the castle the waddle dees are still awake
Marx: no
Escargoon: why tho
Marx: i dont wanna walk to… castle
Escargoon: OHHHH
Escargoon: you have the munchies dont you
Marx: UHHH H
Marx: NO
Meta: okay that makes sense
CS: Who the hell lives in Dreamland and deals weed?
Marx:
Meta: hey marx, what are those plants in your garden
Marx: no comment sorry
Escargoon: marx get up or no pizza
Marx: FINE
Marx: wait how do i get to the castle
Escargoon: are you serious
Meta: marx just wait till morning
Meta: maybe magolor can make some for you
Marx: last time either of us cooked we nearly set the house on fire
CS: We have a monster that can cook, if you’d like.
Meta: no. you do not have a monster that can cook.
CS: Oh, okay.
Marx: please…. im starving… .
Escargoon: then starve
Marx: ESCARGOON PLEAGE
Escargoon: FINE ILL ASK THE WADDLE DEES DO DELIVER IT TO YOU LAZY ASS
Marx: i owe you my life……………
Meta: this is the nicest ive ever seen escargoon been
Escargoon: be quiet orb
CS: Loving the dynamic here.
Escargoon: what toppings do you want
Marx: bebberoni
Escargoon: bandana dee said cheese is better
Marx: tell him to suck my ass
Escargoon: they said love you too
Meta: aw
Escargoon: aight ya shit is in the oven
Marx: yeg.. .. hell fucking yeahhh h
Escargoon: oh fuck i think dedede woke up
Dedede: it’s 3 am why the fuck do i smell pizza
Escargoon: go back to bed it’s late
CS: Yeah it’s late.
Dedede: ESCARGOON ARE YOU MAKING PIZZA WITHOUT ME
Marx: HES NOT
Marx: DEDEDE HES NOT DOING ANYTHING GO TO BED
Meta: escargoon just chilling
Dedede: oh okay
Dedede: gn
Marx: oh amen bruh
Escargoon: godam
Escargoon: the pizza is almost ready
Dedede: UM.
Escargoon: OH FUCK
Meta: aw shit
Marx: DEDEDE
CS: Yikes.
Dedede: MARX ARE YOU PAYING FOR THIS PIZZA???????
Marx: HEY HEY HEY IM BROKE
Dedede: THATS A YOU PROBLEM
Escargoon: SIRE HE’S HIGH AND HAS THE MUNCHIES PLEASE JUST LET THE CLOWN EAT
Dedede: WHAT WOULD I GAIN FROM THAT
Escargoon: A NON GRUMPY MARX IN THE MORNING
Escargoon: YOU KNOW WHAT HE DOES HE RAIDS THE CASTLE PANTRY AT 8AM BECAUSE HE HAD NO FOOD FOR HIS MUNCHIES
Dedede: HMMMMM…
Dedede: OKAY FINE
Dedede: BUT ONLY THIS ONE TIME
Marx: THANK YOU GOD
Escargoon: whew.
Escargoon: OKAY THEY’RE BRINGING IT TO YALLS HOUSE
Meta: finally
Meta: as we wait, @CS how deep in debt is dedede in?
Escargoon: OOP
CS: Uhhhh, about 9mil
Meta: WHJSDACKMCDSK
Marx: oh shit…… thats like 8 pizza combos dude
Escargoon: wow
Escargoon: hes not paying that shit doe
CS: Of course he isn’t.
Marx: OH FUCK THEYRE HERE
Marx: YAYYAYAYAYYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYYAYAYAYAYYYAYYAYAY
Escargoon: okay are you happy now
Marx: YES
Meta: okay im going to bed now
Meta: enjoy your pizza
Escargoon: fuck gn
Marx: THANK YOU ESCARGOON GOODNIGHT GUYS
CS: Goodnight.

Chapter Text

[9:29 am]

Magolor: why on earth is there pizza crust EVERYWHERE
Magolor: WHY IS THERE SO MANY BONGS
Escargoon: omg what
Magolor: i just woke up
Magolor: and marx is laying on a pizza box piled on top of bongs and pizza crusts
Magolor: he doesn’t even have a job how the fuck did he order pizza
Escargoon: damnnnnnn idk
Meta: wow that's really weird
CS: How strange.
Tiff: is he like
Tiff: dead???
Magolor: i dont know but im too scared to check
Magolor: he must've gotten lit as hell last night godam.
Escargoon: dats crazy lol
Escargoon: otherwise how are yall doing?
Dedede: i had a dream where the waddle dees and escargoon were cooking pizza at like 3 am
Dedede: meta and marx told me they wern’t actually doing anything it was weird lmao
Escargoon: R
Escargoon: REALLY? DATS CRAZY LOL
Meta: dedede you should stop drinking caffeine before bed it makes you have weird hyper-realistic dreams
Dedede: no
Tiff: woah
Tiff: me and tuff had a dream about smelling pizza too
Escargoon: WACK
Escargoon: MAN MAYBE ITS A COINCIDENCE
Daroach: its so early why the hell are you guys up
Magolor: marx hotboxed the room so i had to wake up
CS: I’m not allowed to sleep
Meta: i don’t sleep
Dedede: i went to bed at 7pm
Tiff: i actually have a healthy sleeping schedule compared to these clowns
Dark Meta Knight: YALL SLEEP?? PUSSIES
Meta: suck my ass bitch
Dark Meta Knight: EAT A DICK
Dedede: THE GIRLS ARE FIGHTINGGGG
Magolor: @Ricky THEYRE STARTING AGAIN
Ricky: i modded escargoon for a reason
Ricky: let me sleep
Escargoon: WHAT
Escargoon: OKAY GUYS CALM DOWN
Meta: im gonna come to that nasty ass mirror of yours and im gonna shatter that shit
Dark Meta Knight: TRY IT BITCH ILL SET ALL YOUR SPARE MASKS AND THE HALBERD ON FIRE
Escargoon: I DONT KNOW HOW TO ADD THEM TO PRIV CHAT
Escargoon: @Ricky HELP
Ricky: snzzz.. ..zzz.z..zzz
Meta: LET HIM SLEEP WE NEED A BRAWL
CS: Oh boy.
Tiff: id intervene but im tryna see sum
Magolor: GUYS PLEASEEE
Dark Meta Knight: IM SO SICK OF YOU BLUE ASS BITCH
Meta: STAY MAD THAT I ACTUALLY HAVE COLOR STOOPID
Dark Meta Knight: SUCK PENID BITCH
Daroach: world peace is broken oh god
Meta: GOOGOO GAGA HEADASS BITCH
Dark Meta Knight: IM GONNA BEAT THE FUCK OUTTA YOU
Dark Meta Knight: STUBBY ARM BITCH
Meta: WE HAVE THE EXACT SAME ARMS
Escargoon: oh god
Escargoon: @Ricky PLEASE RICKY

[Ricky placed Meta and Dark Meta Knight into private chat]

Ricky: do i have to do ALL the work around here