Midoriya Izuku is a kind person, way too kind if you asked Kacchan. Not that he had ever asked. ‘Just tell them to fuck right off’, Izuku can permanently hear Kacchan’s voice in his head. It’s times like this when that phrase is particularly loud.
It’s been a long week of letting people walking all over him, little old ladies getting pissed because he’s taking too long to get their cats out trees even though that’s not actually his job. Press asking way too invasive questions, that is frankly none of their fucking business, that Izuku is too polite to tell them that it’s not their fucking business so he just answers in a roundabout way that’s not actually answering their question at all.
His interns making huge mistakes and then not telling him, because god forbid you admit to your idol that you messed up even though it would’ve saved you hours of annoyance and punishment and we all would’ve been done with this hours ago. But oh no it’s okay, we can fix this right up, don’t worry about it guys. “Wow, Sugoi Deku!”
Then the icing on this whole exhausting cake, Izuku dropped his phone in a puddle when a two bit rate villain had attempted to rob a small grocery store. He thought it’d be fine considering he couldn’t count how many times he’s dropped his phone in the bathtub, or the ground and it didn’t have a scratch on it. But he’d picked it up and not only was it shattered but waterlogged too.
After yet another long day, in an even longer week, Izuku can’t wait to go home and take a long bath and bitch about his week to his husband.
He comes into the house pulling his shoes off his feet and seeing Kacchan’s shoes there he opened his mouth on autopilot.
”Kacchan you’re not gonna believe the fucking day I had! I got yelled out by some fucking old lady because I didn’t get her fucking vermin out of the tree it crawled in fast enough, probably to get the fuck away from her. Elasti fucked up and didn’t tell me about it so I had to spend hours redoing the fuckin- Oh.”
He cuts off with a blush, seeing the self proclaimed ‘Bakusquad’ sitting in the living room in an intense Mario Kart battle. Well he assumes it was intense knowing their personality types, however they were all staring at him like he’d grown an extra head. Except for Kacchan who burst into howling laughter.
Izuku couldn’t help but be pissed that his husband hadn’t told him they were having guests, but he quickly dismissed it for feeling embarrassed.
He felt the heat rising to his face as Shinsou’s face broke into a small smirk. Kirishima looks down right scandalized and stared at the explosive boy like he’d corrupted the world's most innocent bunny — he had. Mina and Sero kept looking back and forth between each other and him, like they’re both trying to decide if they’d heard what they’d just heard. And Kamanari looked like he’s seconds away from giving the thumbs up and going ‘whey’ .
It’s Denki who eventually speaks first, “What the actual hell, is Midoriya even legally allowed to say fuck?”
Hitoshi nods in agreement, “Doesn’t seem right for the number one hero to be saying fuck does it.”
And then the dam breaks and they’re all speaking at the same time, Mina’s sure she’d heard All Might say shit a few times but never fuck. They’d all agreed they’d heard Aizawa say fuck more than once, so it’s like a matter of ranking. Cause Bakubro is Bakubro ’, Kirishima had added in.
Izuku decided to sneak out mid conversation when they were paying attention to each other and not him. Maybe he could just cry in the bath, that sounds like a good time.
The tub is halfway full by the time Kacchan joins him in the room. Izuku had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t even realized how much quieter it is.
“I told those assholes to fuck right off, since you’re too fucking dumb to do it yourself,” He says with a snarl.
Hmm Kacchan doesn’t look particularly feral today must be in a good mood, he thinks as he sinks down into the water.
He doesn’t feel like arguing so he doesn’t respond, just looks up at his husband with tired eyes.
“Fine, scoot over dumb Deku, I’ll wash your shitty hair and you can tell me about your shitty day.”
“I love you.”
He grunts again, this time with a different tonation. This time almost bordering on a hum.
He sighs as warm water and fingers makes its way through his curls, and he grabs one of his husbands hands and gives it a quick peck before unraveling the tale of his completely fucked week.