It’s almost the end of the year and finals is about to come before they all try different universities around Seoul. He dreamt on going to one of the S.K.Y universities, it would make his parents proud.
Seheun said she wish to go to Korea University cause it has one of the most advance curriculum when it comes to biochemistry. She is lover of nature and anything that goes with it.
Yeosang still want to do business but he also want to master literature, especially English. He been taught since he was young but he was never serious until he talk to a lot of foreign people coming to their home once in a while.
All they want is to never be apart. Since their parents had already given them the blessings but they don’t want to take it for granted.
Schools starts again on second week of January and the first thing that Seheun notice was Yunho is sitting beside him again and the seat by the window was empty again.
Yeosang still haven’t come. She decided to text Gahyeon and tell him so he wouldn’t be surprised. She sent a short message to be careful as days will be unpredictable.
As Yeosang enters the class, he immediately search for her but he can’t clearly read her. When he look at his seat, he found it empty again and Yunho was back there again talking his seatmate. Wooyoung was doing something with his phone so he sent a small smile to Seheun as she looked through him from her lashes. He found her formed a heart with her finger and that’s enough for him.
As he sat down, he took away his phone and faced him. “How’s your winter break.” Wooyoung asked. “Did your family go somewhere?”
“New York and London.”
“Oh. We were in Paris the whole time. How about you Seheun where did your family go.”
“We were in Cebu in the Philippines. I’m not stupid to escape a cold country for another cold country.” Seheun answered.
Yeosang can’t help but snort and smack himself for realizing it a bit late.
“It’s not like the countries you went aren’t cold too.” He slapped his hand which made him snort harder.
It’s almost graduation and the ghost of deadlines are slowly catching up to them as the finals comes close.
“I’m going to take a year gap.” Gahyeon suddenly said.
“Why?” Seheun asked.
“I want to take a rest. Get a job or something.”
“I really want us to be on the same school.” Seheun replied.
“I want to rest from studies and think through what I’m going to take in college.” Gahyeon answered. “I might discover some hobbies.”
Seheun smiled, “I understand. We just hope that we’ll still able to spend some time like we do.”
“Who says we won’t. Don’t even think that I’ll leave both of you alone.”
Seheun gave a hearty laugh that made Yeosang, who is sitting across the gazebo, look at them. “You guys are not talking about me are you.”
Seheun smiled, “We don’t.”
“You’re not even as interesting as ATEEZ.” Gahyeon said sharply before laughing.
It was three months after when they all gathered inside Seheun's bedroom as they wait for the result of their entrance exam on their chosen university.
They all held their phones with their emails up.
As the clock strike 12, everyone refreshed their email. Some had delay while some already got theirs.
Seheun was able to pass both Seoul National University and Ehwa University.
While, Yeosang pass all the S.K.Y. universities.
“What if I passed Princeton too?” He said smiling to Seheun.
Seheun glared at him, “You didn’t, the result aren’t up yet. Stop boasting about it.”
“Sorry. You aren’t going to Ehwa are you?”
“I don’t! You seriously think I’ll go to an all girls university?”
“Why did you applied there then.”
“I didn’t know I’ll passed.”
“Lee Seheun doesn’t think she’ll passed.” Yeosang glared at her.
Gahyeon just look them with an eye smile. “I change my mind.”
Gahyeon jump off the bed. “Fam!” She shouted, “Let’s all go the SNU! I passed, bitches!”
It took a few seconds before both of them registered what she said but when they did Hana already tackled Gahyeon on the bed.
“You didn’t!” She said half shouting half laughing.
“I did!” She exclaimed.
Seheun hug Yeosang before she turn to Gahyeon who freed herself from Hana. She brought her friend to her arms and hugged her tightly. “I’m so happy for you.”
Gahyeon turn to Yeosang who is smiling widely, “How selfless you are. I’m so happy for all of us.”
Yeosang sat closer to him and brought his lips to her forehead. It was short but she knew she stopped breathing.
When he took his head away, she slapped his shoulder and said, “I’m too gay for you.”
Yeosang just stay quiet but his eyes are talking millions of language.
Hana took the scene as if it happened before. She was too focused on them that she didn’t saw the questions on another girl’s eyes.
Seheun knew what happen even when she didn’t saw anything. She knew how her boyfriend smells and she knows how he breathe and she felt them on her hair.
University should be tolerable with the friends around her. She don’t want it to be like in foreign movies, that’s why she wanted to be in a school where she knew a number of people. She want to be closer to him cause they no longer have to hide from someone.
Wooyoung will to Oxford University like the rumors says. He is one on the few foreign exchange students from Asia and it cause a bit of celebration at their graduation party.
He gave them a gift. Yeosang received some books and manga. Seheun received a lifetime membership to New Wave Spa and Gahyeon received some no expiration coupons to some shops that is affiliated with their company.
It was also a night she might remember all her life.
She choose to wear a pink dress that she picked up with Gahyeon and she wore white and with lightest make-up.
She adore Gahyeon cause she’s not just a happy person but she’s beautiful, inside out. She handles herself well and her beauty doesn’t need effort. She is jealous that even though she’s not very thin, her body is a goddess and it made want the same attitude of self-love.
They sat on the same table. Her, Yeosang, Gahyeon, Hana, Dahyun and Wooyoung decided to fill the seat next to Gahyeon.
She watch Wooyoung take a short glance at Gahyeon before her eyes goes around the room. She was puzzled by their relationship cause she would see them together when they thought no one is around.
There was a time she saw Wooyoung rubbing her shoulder as she hug him. He wasn’t looking anywhere but her and it made want to more about their relationship.
She start watching them but she found nothing out of ordinary. She was still much closer to Yeosang.
Tonight, she wanted to find some.
As the night goes. Foods came and everyone continue with conversations.
She didn’t paid much attention to what’s happening around her. She is watching Gahyeon, Yeosang and Wooyoung.
There’s an air around them that suffocates her anxiety.
She stood up and excuse herself to the bathroom. She expected her to come with her but she choose to stay. She went to the bathroom alone and took a few seconds to composed herself before emerging outside.
But instead of going back inside, she took the other route and found herself near the gazebo. She wanted to take a look at it tonight and maybe a whip of familiar air.
She took slow steps and watch her feet from the faint light and let her feet take her.
As she went closer she heard a faint voice coming from close distance, it was quite unclear it might be just the music coming from the hall but when she look up, she found two people was already there.
Gahyeon and Wooyoung.
She was seating in front of him, she had her legs up between his thighs, she had her eyes close as she lay her head on her chest and he is caressing her hair while looking straight at her.
That moment, she found the world stop and she began sinking on the ground or she badly wish. Half of her want to run but half of her was stuck. If curiosity kills the cat, she had died a few times.
When his eyes left her that’s is the only time she breathed but she didn’t take another second before turning back and run back inside the school.
When she return, she search for Yeosang and found him standing with Yunho, she run to him and hugged him tightly before letting the tears falls.
“What’s wrong?” Yeosang asked her. But she could only shook her head cause there’s so many things she wanted to say out loud but she can’t form words and her tears are her every frustration.
“It’s okay.” She heard Yeosang’s faint voice but she knows it’s not okay.
What is really between them. Are they friends too or maybe a couple? She don’t know cause Gahyeon never said anything. If they’re much closer than any of her friends, why Wooyoung never talk to her when there are people. Is he ashamed? Is he that cruel? Is she his secret?
She had too many questions but above all else. What do they have do to with this? If she’s close to Wooyoung. Why are they friends with her.
The night ended as everyone said there goodbyes. She found Wooyoung talking to his boyfriend and gave him something before giving another one to Gahyeon, who smile slightly before giving him one too.
He turn and found her standing next to Dahyun, he walk to her and gave her an envelope. “This is for you. Use it well.”
She could only nod and take the envelope. When she thought he’ll leave, he stepped closer and whispered something on her ears.
“Can you keep our secret while I’m gone. I don’t want Gahyeon to be sad.”
He smiled at her but she only nodded. She didn’t want the world to know about it anyway.
Days became longer to her. Especially when she’s with Gahyeon. She would look at her as if there are hidden meanings behind her eyes. She is always smiling, she always makes Yeosang smile. Does she have a way with man cause it also looks like she has Wooyoung wrap around her finger, or the other way around, she can’t tell.
She also wondered how much they spent together when she’s not around. They seem to know many things that only takes a single letter and it frustrates her that she wasn’t able to keep up with them.
Gahyeon began going to school with a light make-up and he is the first one to notice it. Seheun would say that it fits her but she likes them bare, she was more herself. Her lips are prettier than hers and now they’re glossy.
She wanted to hate herself for being jealous cause they’re just friends and she isn’t someone who’ll she think would steal her boyfriend or she hope.
Gahyeon is a good friend to both of them. She never wanted to think that she’ll became the reason why she’ll question his love for her.
It was Thursday afternoon when she found Gahyeon walking alone. She was seating by the shaded part of the stairs when she saw her walking by the trees followed by another person. He was showing her something but she’s running away. They also look like they’re in fight but when she saw who’s the man, it made her frown. It was Yeosang.
She stood up from her seat and run to the their direction despite the blazing sun.
She saw him catch her and shook her a bit, like he’s trying to wake her up but she look uncomfortable and he looked indifferent as if things are actively going circles inside his head.
She slowly followed them on shadows and found them stop by the big tree. She choose to hide behind another one. She can hear them talking but she can’t make up most of the words they’re saying.
“You done that because him?” He shouted, “Are you that desperate?”
“You know nothing.”
“Yes, I know nothing but I know you.”
“You don’t know me at all. You only the Gahyeon that I want you to know.” She said while holding her tears back.
“I know more than that. You should stop. It’s not healthy. He wouldn’t be happy.” Yeosang voice became softer. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, I’m here. Seheun and Hana are also there for you.”
“I hate him.” She said as she sobbed harder.
“I know. Me too.” He said.
“He only cares about himself.”
He nodded and hugged her. “He is not worthy of your time. He only knows how to look at himself.”
Seheun watch the scene in front of her with tears in her eyes. She almost knew nothing. She only cares about what going on around him.
She forgot that Gahyeon was his friend before she entered his life. She was there when he knew nothing and guided him.
“Let me take a look.” Yeosang asked softly.
Gahyeon only shook her head.
“It’s ugly. I don’t want you to see it.”
“Ugly things are not ugly, it’s just shows that every little thing on this world has different standard of beauty.”
Gahyeon looked at him with annoyed face, “I’m scared that if I show you this, I will never hear the end of it.”
Yeosang let out a short laugh, “My dear, you’re not mistaken, so deal with the consequences.”
Gahyeon let out a sight and open her sleeves and slowly rolled it before Yeosang grabbed it.
“YOU!” He shouted and dropped her hands. He stood up and paced in front of her. “Are you problematic?”
“What?” Gahyeon asked, “I’m problematic? No. Depressed? Yes.”
Yeosang couldn’t help but turn around and punch the nearest thing in front of him, which happens to be a tree. He hit them quite hard that both of their gasp are almost inaudible.
“Don’t do that.” Gahyeon said while standing up. “Don’t hurt yourself.”
Yeosang had his head bowed down as he clinched his bleeding hands, “You should tell that to yourself.”
Gahyeon hit his shoulder, “It’s your hands. Can you hide them? It’ll scar.”
Yeosang laugh, “Now we both got one on our hands and maybe here too.” She looked and found him pointing at his heart.
Gahyeon can only whimper before she throw herself to him. “I’m sorry.”
“Reflect on them for the next fifty years by never letting yourself bleed.”
Yeosang hugged her tighter before kissing the top of her head.
“Don’t fall in love with Wooyoung and me. You deserve someone else.”
Gahyeon shook her head, “I’m not in love with you and Wooyoung is just a love that I thought would look me the same way but you know I’m always that girl at the park. Lost and looking for home. For years, I thought he was that Prince Charming coming to rescue me. But he did rescue me.”
“I was just nine and he was eight. I don’t have a home, they let me live with their housekeeper. In return, I helped with the chores but his parents wouldn’t let me. They let me play with him cause he was a lonely kid. I was different from him but he never thought of that.”
“Then middle school, he became his worst version. He is different when he’s with me and I thought that was fine. People do change inside out. Wooyoung ignored me when school. He was different at home he would help me with school projects or help me baking but at school he’s another story.”
“I love him cause I owe quite much and he given me so much that it’s almost impossible to pay him back. I love him for never hating me despite the things I refuse from him.”
“Like what?” Yeosang.
It took a few moment before she could answer. “My first.”
Yeosang eyes widened for a second, “First what? Kiss?”
Gahyeon nodded, “Yeah, I can’t give it to someone who doesn’t love me.”
Yeosang smiled, “What if he did?” Gahyeon just shook her head, “What if he did it while you’re sleeping?”
Gahyeon eyes widen before she stood up and push him to the ground, “That’s not funny!”
Yeosang can’t help but laugh on the ground, “That could happen, since it’s Wooyoung we’re talking about.”
Gahyeon growled and glared at him, “Now I can’t get the image out of my head.” She gritted. “It’s your fault.”
Yeosang sat there just smiling as she watch her get through her frustrations. His eyes went to her wrist which made her frown, what would he say when he found out.
“Want mint chocolate chip ice cream?” Yeosang offered.
Gahyeon frown at him, “I can’t deal with you right now.”
“Then Cheetos and Taro bubble tea.”
Gahyeon huffed, “But don’t think I can easily forgive you. I just need something to boost me up.”
He smiled and put his hands over her shoulder, “Don’t you think I didn’t know that.”
“We still need to go to the clinic.” Gahyeon said, “Don’t even think that I’ll forget that also.”
Yeosang looked at his hands and frown, “I kind of forgot that it’s quite painful.”
Seheun doesn’t know what to do with everything she heard. She hate that she have to part of their conversation even when they don’t know she’s there.
Gahyeon is such a sweet girl and she hates that she would look at her different just because he’s close with her boyfriend. They always have each other and it’s a friendship she never formed with them. They’re their selves best friends.
When she can no longer see and hear them, she stood up from her spot and turn around to the place they were before, how can she be so blind.
She scares of their future. What if Yeosang fell in love with Gahyeon and leave her? What if Wooyoung really do loved her? What if they all refuse their real love for somebody else. Someone like her.
It made her stop and look up, she’ll hate that story. It’ll be too cliché. She’ll rather fight that let go any of them from her life. Yeosang or Gahyeon.