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It has always been you

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Hello... I think many of you know me from my Instagram account Deckerstarshipper666... If not: Welcome to my first fanfic written by lucifer.fanfics and me. This story is published by lucifer.fanfics on Instagram and I publish it here now. I hope you enjoy it. Everytime lucifer.fanfics will publish a new chapter I do my best to post it here as well.Enjoy the first chaper and Im happy to read your comments :)

 

Chloe‘s Pov
Pushing through the dancing crowd in the famous club Lux, bodies pressed closed to each other, a wave of anxiety hit me. Not because of the scene that unfolded in front of my eyes but the realization that this is the last day in Los Angeles for me, before I spend 3 weeks at my mother’s house with Trixie. With every passing seconds my feet get heavier and heavier and I have to force myself to keep going. I really don’t want to say goodbye to all of my friends, be thrown into the unknown, but this is clearly what’s best for me.

 

Since the night Lucifer killed Marcus and I was confronted with the “real” Lucifer I couldn‘t think straight anymore. Everyone around me thought I was not myself, urging me to take a break. “You have just lost your ex fiancé, Chloe. Give yourself time to grief”, they said. If they only knew that this wasn’t the reason of my strange behaviour. It was Lucifer, it has always been Lucifer. When I saw his face I couldn‘t quite believe it, but at the same time I was filled with so much certainty. Just like I had already known deep down inside me that he was telling the truth. Lucifer didn‘t manage to get out a word before the backup arrived and neither did I. He called and texted several times afterwards, even showed up at my apartment but I begged for some time. I needed to think about it. From that moment on every little part of my brain was replaced, consumed by him, even more than it was before. Every little thing reminded me of him, his face and I needed to get away from all of it. Escape my thoughts. When my mother called and offered me and Trixie to stay at her place for a while it seemed like the right thing to do but it feels like I am about to make a big mistake. I am not used to running away from my problems. My father always told me to face my fears and to be brave but this time I just don‘t know how to face them. Face the man I was falling in love with, turns out to be the devil himself.

 

I take a deep breath and continue to push through the crowd. A few seconds later I make out my friends, sitting on a couch in the corner of the club and I freeze. Lucifer is there too. I walk through the crowd, hand trembling, feeling unsteady and reach the couch in just a few seconds. Everyone seems to be here today: Amenadiel engaged in a conversation with Linda, Maze and Ella loudly discussing whether you are allowed to stab someone and Dan looking at the bunch with a freaked out expression on his face. Lucifer is sitting next to him and he is the only one that has already noticed my arrival. His eyes are fixated on me, looking up and down at my body. It makes me uncomfortable but I can‘t seem to look away. There is something in his eyes that makes me lock mine with his. Even though noboy else won‘t probably see it doesn‘t mean I won‘t. He looks tired, drained even. I take a huge breath and swallow hard. „Chloe!“, Ella’s voice gets me back to reality and I flinch. Before I am able to reply the arms of the forensic scientist are already wrapped around me. "I'm so glad that you're here. It‘s time to celebrate before you leave to go on your 3 week vacation", she announces and finally lets go of me. I sigh quiet. If I only would be in the mood to party… The only thing I want to do right now is crawl into my bed and sleep, until everything is okay again. I know that Ella is right. I should really enjoy tonight as I wont see any of them for the next 3 weeks. The least I can do is have a drink and talk with my friend before I leave town. I greet everyone else, and look for a available seat. My heart starts racing when I realize there is only one option. I should have known that Lucifer was going to be here. It is his club after all. The only seat that's not taken is next to the devil himself.

 

Okay Chloe, calm down, I tell myself. I close my eyes for a second, trying to calm my nerves. I sit down next to him, my heart beating fast. I look at him from the corner of my eye, waiting for his reaction. I am met with a weak, defeated smile and I feel a sharp pain in my chest. Am I the reason he is so upset? Why can‘t everything be easier?! I nevoursly shift in my seat and pray that he doesn't notice my uncertainty. „I cant believe you are going to stay with your mum for this long. The best way to get over a man is to get laid by one“, Maze argues smirking and I try to hide my blushing cheeks. I don‘t know whether it was the fact that all my friends still think this is about Marcus and I am lying to them or because Maze is just too straightforward. „Maze! She was engaged with that guy! Give her some space“, Linda puts her into place and she just rolls her eyes in return. „I am fine. I just need to take a little break“, I shrug it off and I can feel Lucifer’s eyes burn on me. He knows why I need a ‚break’, why I am running away. I didn‘t think it would end this way after I told him I needed time and I am sure neither did he.

 

I quickly excuse myself and walk to the bar to get myself something to drink. I take a quick look to my friends at the couch and when my eyes wander to Lucifer I am immediately taken back to the moment everything changed. “Miss, your beer”, the bartender tells me. My heart is beating fast and I force a smile as the guy gives me a worried look. I grab the bottle and nervously bite my lip as I walk back to the booth. Here goes nothing. There is so little space on the couch it is literally impossible for our thighs not to touch. I sit back down and just as my leg brushes his, I feel Lucifer’s body stiffen. He acts as if nothing happened and takes a sip of his whiskey. I take a sip of my drink as well, not knowing what else to do. Should I talk to him? The alcohol helps me to relax a little bit and to calm my endless thoughts. “So is Lucifer going to follow me around then?”, Dan asks after a while. “Who says that I want to?”, Lucifer argues and I have to hold back a giggle. I didnt realize I have missed him and his Luciferness this much. “I talked to the captain and she would be okay with it unless you guys are”, I reply and Dan rolls his eyes. “Well, he seems to do something right if you kept working with him”, Dan jokes and without even meaning to, I turn my head to Lucifer. He is already watching me and I immediately feel my cheeks turning red. “Yeah”, I stutter more to myself and Lucifer smiles in return.

 

Why can‘t it always be like this? “Speaking of work, as you are going to leave us tomorrow and these two clowns have to work the case, I thought I would talk to you about something. Maybe you have an idea what it means because I am clueless”, Ella tells me and I finally manage to turn away from Lucifer. “Shoot”, I reply and she smiles. “Okay, so at the crime scene I found big white feathers covered in blood. I have never seen anything like this. They looked... angelic”, she explains and I open my eyes wide. I can see Maze’s expression change as well and my thoughts are going crazy, trying to make sense of this. Lucifer’s body tenses even more next to mine and it clicks. Whatever these are, they are somehow connected to Lucifer. “No idea”, I stutter and take a quick look at Lucifer. What does Lucifer have to do with those feathers? He is the devil after all. There is something in his eyes which I can‘t make out, something he is not willing to show me and this for whatever reason freaks me out. It feels like someone has sucked out all the oxygen of this room and I am gasping for air. Lucifer puts his hand on my thigh, trying to calm me but unfortunately it has the completely opposite effect.

 

I panic even more and before I even realize I am up on my feet, running towards the exit. There are too many dancing people everwhere and I can’t find the door. The only thing that does come into my sight is the elevator which leads up to the penthouse. I need some air, calm down and be alone for a while, so this is the best option for me. I rush towards the doors, heart beating fast, breathing heavily. I quickly press the button and get into the elevator as quickly as possible. I need to get out of here.

Chapter Text

As I made it to safety, I let go of a breath I didn‘t know I was holding. Right before the door closes, someone stumbles into it to join me. Lucifer eyes me worriedly and my heart drops down to my pants. I tried to escape from him, my thoughts about him and now he chose the worst moment to follow me. The doors close behind him and I feel anxiety rise inside of me. Just when I thought it couldn‘t get any worse the lift suddenly stops abruptly and the lights go out. I didn‘t see that coming and stumble over my own feet.

I close my eyes, getting ready to hit the ground but instead I am caught by two strong arms. “Watch out”, Lucifer softly whispers. He holds me tight, not moving an inch and for a second all I can think about is him. His strong arms wrapped around me tightly, his husky voice and the fact that the smell of whiskey now always makes me smile because it reminds me of him. “Are you okay?”, he stutters and I move away again. I can‘t feel this way. Clealry, this is wrong. Oh, so wrong. I sit down on the ground, arms wrapped around my knees and hope that Lucifer can‘t see me in the dark. “No”, I admit. “Why did you follow me?”, I stutter and all I can hear is a sigh, full of worry and sorrow and it breaks my heart. “I needed to know that you are okay”, he whispers and I nervously bite my lip. “I am sorry that I scared you. I totally get why you don‘t want to see me again. I just wanted to say a proper goodbye”, he explains and I can feel tears forming in my eyes. As much as I have been angry, confused, frustrated or drained the past few weeks, I have never been scared, at least not of him. “I am not scared of you Lucifer. I think I owe you an explanation”, I whisper. Time to face my fears. “Not as much as I owe you one”, he replies softly and I can basically feel the tension leaving the elevator. “Then let’s talk”, he adds and I can hear him move.

He sits down next to me, but still giving me enough space. “When we get back outside”, I continue. “Alright. Are you feeling any better?”, he asks carefully and I nod. “Yea.” Even though I know that he is going to let me in in all of his secrets it feels like such a relief. There isn’t much more that he can shock me with, right? Either way, I have 3 weeks to think about everything after today. We keep sitting in silence for a few minutes when suddenly the lift starts moving again and the lights go back on. We reach his penthouse within no time and I slowly get up. We walk into his living room and I carefully sit down on the couch. Let’s get this over with.

 


Lucifer‘s Pov
I sit down on the couch next to Chloe and hand her a glass of water. I leave enough space between the two of us, still not believing that the detective was never scared of me. Why else is she about to go on a vacation for 3 weeks? She looks down on her hands, the grip around the glass tightens and she nervously bites her lip. I wish she never would have seen the real me. Everything would be so different right now. I take a huge breath and just as I am about to talk Chloe opens her mouth as well. We both laugh awkwardly and I gesture her to go on. „I am sorry. I shouldn‘t have left like that“, she starts and I feel a sharp pain in my chest. I totally get why she did but nevertheless, it still hurt.

Seeing the look on her face that day broke something inside of me I thought she had fixed months ago. Of course I told her that I was the devil but who in their right mind would believe me?! Deep down inside of me I knew she wouldn‘t and that‘s the only reason I told her. „I was scared of what might happen to us now. If there was ever going to be an US. Now that everything was out on the table and there was still so much which remained unsaid, I didnt know how to feel, how to react. It was selfish of me to run away. Of course this is hard on you too and I should have talked to you instead of giving you the impression that I was scared“, she apologizes and I get lost in her ocean blue eyes for a second.

Bloody hell! How does she end up aplogizing to me when I am the one who completely messed it up?! And what does she mean? Us? She takes a sip of the water and puts the glass down on the table. „What do you mean with US?“, I blur out the question before I can think about it. „I... uh... forget it. It‘s stupid“, she stutters, looking down on her hands, folded in her lap. Without hesitation I grab her hands and softly squeeze them. She looks up to meet my eyes and my heart skips a beat. „It‘s not stupid“, I assure her and she takes a huge breath. „I just... in the past few days I had the feeling that we.... might end up together. Dating“, she stutters nervously and I open my eyes wide. How in the world is this still on her mind after seeing my devil face?! „I mean we would have to deal with all the uhm new information first... before we take any other step and I need some time away to process everything“, she adds and I look at her in awe.

There is no way in hell that the detective is not heaven sent. Shocked by her words, I haven‘t replied anything in minutes. „Only if you want to“, she then continues and I can‘t help myself but smile. „What do you want to know?“, I finally manage to ask and she thinks for a bit. „Everything“, she then decides and I sigh. This is going to be a long night.

So I started at the moment 9 years ago when Maze and I left hell..."we landed on the beach. That's when I flipped dad the grandest of birds and have Maze cut off my wings. I don't wanted to be a pawn in his game anymore.", I said. I could tell on her face that the detective was processing these informations. She had wrinkled her nose and had also a few wrinkles on her usually beautiful smooth forehead. This beautiful being in front of me with those lovely sea blue eyes was still here. At that thought, that Chloe won't run away I wanted to continue with my story. But when I saw that she opened her mouth to say something, I waited patiently."Youre scars in your back... that was were..." "...were Maze cut them off, yes", I finished the sentence for her. "Wow... And those wings in the auction hall? Where those real Angel wings?" "Unfortunately, those wings were a fake. Though they really looked real... But when I found the real ones, I told you there were nothing but a relict. I burned them to finish with this part of my past." "So Maze is a demon, huh?", she asked, still a few wrinkles left on her forehead. "That explains actually a lot...", she shrugged and motioned for me to continue.


“I am having a hard time believing anything that you say even though I now know that it is the truth. I am sorry if I look at you like I am second guessing everything, it is just a lot to take in”, Chloe finally tells me and just her words immediately calmed me down. “I understand. I promised to tell you everything but if you want me to stop just say the word and I will shut my mouth. We still have a long way to go”, I explain and she bites her lip, thinking for a while. “No, go ahead. I want to know everything. I think we both deserve that”, she finally replies and I nod. “Because of the deal with my father I had to bring my mum back to hell for him”, I continue and she frowns.

 

I hope you enjoyed the second chapter of "It has always been you" please tell me/us what you think so far

see ya soon :)

Chapter Text

“She was on earth? The goddess herself?”, she asks confused and I nod. “Actually, her soul was in someone elses body who recently had just died”, I stutter carefully and suddenly her jaw drops. “Charlotte Richards!”, she exclaims and I shouldnt be surprised at how fast she had solved this riddle, she is Los Angeles finest after all. “I didnt want to take her back to hell so my father sent Uriel one of my brothers”, I say and she listens carefully. “I had to either take mum back to hell or he would kill you”, I mutter and all the guilt starts rushing back, choking me. The detective carefully places her hand on mine and weakly smiles at me. “I thought Amenadiel could handle it but he lost his powers”, I continue. “Amenadiel is an angel?”, she asks shocked and I nod. “Me and Uriel got into a fight. I knew he was serious and no one could stop him. I.... I killed Uriel. I killed my brother”, I try to swallow down my emotions but by the look Chloe gives me I can tell that I didnt do such a good job at it. “You know, mum never liked you”, I quickly change the topic and chuckle. “Ouch”, Chloe replies sarcastically but cant hold back her smile. “She almost blew you up in your car”, I add and she gasps. “Wow the goddess herself wanted me dead. I feel flattered”, she jokes and her eyes start sparkling again. “But mum wasnt save here on earth and neither was anybody else around her so we sent her to her own world a few months after. I havent seen her since”, I tell her. We sit next to each other in silence for a while and I cant imagine how the detective must feel right now. “Is there something else you want to know?”, I ask carefully and Chloe sighs. I can see that there is something on her mind but I don‘t want to push her. I don‘t want her to back away again, so instead I wait. “Why did you leave me right after we.... I almost died?”, she breathes out and I know what she actually wanted to ask. ‘Why did you leave before we could start a relationship together?’ “I...I am sorry”, I stutter and look up to meet her eyes. She looks so sad right now. I never wanted her to feel this way.

 

“After we kissed I found out that my father was making you feel the way you were feeling. Your parents couldn‘t have a child so my father send Amenadiel down to earth to bless them and soon after you were born”, I start and take a huge breath. “This was his plan all along. We are all just a pawn in his fucked up game”, the detective opens her mouth but I continue talking. I need her to know everything. “You then were dying and I had to help you. I killed myself so I could go down to hell and find the doctor to get the antidote. Thankfully I made it back in time and you woke up again. I left afterwards because I wanted to give you a choice. I wanted to make it easier for you because this was not fair”, I explain and she shakes her head. “What if it was just me?”, she suddenly blurs out and I furrow my brows.

 

“What do you mean?” - “What if I like you because I just do?”, she asks and my heart skips a beat. ‘Like’ as in she still likes me? “But what if not? You are the only person I am mortal around. Surely this is his doing”, I argue, not trying to get my hopes up. “But maybe it is something else that makes you vulnerable. It really hurt when you left and even more so when you came back with Candy. I wish you just would have told me”, she stutters, voice full of hurt and I can literally feel my heart shatter in my chest. What have I done to this woman? “I thought that if you hate me, you would at least not like me anymore. I really wanted to stay away for good but.... I just couldnt. I had to see you again. I am sorry, I should have never come back”, I apologize. “Or you should never have left”, she whispers and I freeze. Is she still having some hope for us? We stare into each others eyes which feels like hours, and I am getting lost in her ocean blue ones. “I just like you, Lucifer, my egomaniacal narcissistic partner. Just take it and don‘t question everything”, she suddenly whispers and I open my eyes wide.

 

Maybe Cain was right after all. “I like you too, Chloe. I am so deeply sorry for everything you had to go through because of me”, I reply and carefully stroke her cheek. Electrizty immediately rushes theough my veins and I weakly smile. “I... I should get going”, she suddenly announces and I feel a sharp pain in my chest. I pushed her away for good now. She must have seen the worried look on my face because she continues. “I really need this break. I need to think about everything and just be alone for a while. I promise I will drop by Lux as soon as I am back”, she assures me but all I want to do is hug her tight and never let her go again. The last few weeks have been hell for me, not knowing how she was feeling, if she was okay. “Goodnight Lucifer”, her soft voice brings me back to reality and her arms are wrapped around me before I can process it.

 

“Goodnight detective. Have a save journey and thank you for listening”, I whisper into her hair which smells like roses. I let go of her and she walks to the elevator. Right before the doors close behind her she turns around and smiles at me. I really hope that this wasn‘t the last time I would see this extraordinary woman who turned my whole life upside down.

 

1 WEEK LATER Chloe‘s Pov I stare at my phone, waiting for it to ring, but it doesn‘t. Just like it didn‘t the past few days. Frustration builds up inside me and I try to swallow it down. I asked him for space and he is giving me it, so why am I mad? Deep down inside I know it‘s because I am afraid he will have moved on by the time I come back. That when I am ready to put my heart into his hands he is going to crush it without thinking twice. I can hear the footsteps of my little girl and I quickly put my phone on the kitchen counter. I smile at her and she immediately frowns. „Is everything alright mommy?“, she asks caring and my heart almost breaks. She shouldn‘t care about me, ask me if I am alright. „Of course monkey“, I tell her and pick her up from the floor. „Are you ready for movie night?“, I quickly change the topic and her face lights up. The phone on the counter makes a sound and I roll my eyes. „Why don‘t you check?“, Trixie asks curiously. „It is probably Ella trying to talk me into a girls night“, I tell her. „So why don‘t you go?“, she asks confused. „There is too much dancing“, I say and she giggles.

 

„I like dancing! Maybe I can come with you“, she announces and hands me my phone. „Alright monkey, I will ask her“, I say and check my phone for messages. My face immediately goes blank when I see who actually texted me. Lucifer. It would be an understatement saying that I thought about our conversation. My mind was consumed by him. All I could smell was whiskey and cherries and everywhere I go something reminded me of him. He even followed me in my dreams and his husky british voice is playing on repeat, like a broken record in my head. As much as him being the devil threw me off tracks, I couldn‘t help but crave his touch, his lips, him. I take a huge breath and press ‘read’. “Hello Chloe. I know you needed some space but I just wanted to check on you and see if you are okay. I hope you are having a good time at your moms house with Trixie. I can’t wait to see your beautiful smile again. Love, Lucifer”

Chapter Text

I dont what gets into me but when Trixie asks me if everything was okay with Ella I reply: „Everything is great but she asks me to visit her today. Is it okay if grandma is going to watch the movies with you monkey?“ Thankfully she doesnt seem to notice that I am lying to her, so she just nods. My body fills with guilt but what else am I supposed to do? Tell her that I am driving to Lucifer who by the way is the actual devil, for god knows reason. I quickly tell my mother that there is an emergency at the precinct and that I will be back tomorrow. I grab my car keys and make my way outside. I quickly say my goodbyes and jump into my car. What the hell am I doing?! The car ride to Lucifer‘s penthouse was unbearable long which led to me making up scenarios in my head that almost made me turn around and drive back to my mother‘s house. If I don‘t get my hopes up I won‘t be disappointed again, right?

 

I finally pull into the parking lot and get out of my car. I don‘t even know why the hell I am here. I just had the urge to see him and now I probably will look like a fool showing up at his door step. I take a huge breath and get into the elevator. I press the button to his penthouse and a wave of anxiety hits me. There is no turning back now. The door of the lift opens and I immediately see Lucifer, sitting at the piano. His head shoots around and when he sees me he instantly starts smiling. „Detective? What are you doing here?“, he asks surprised and gets up. He starts walking towards me and my body stiffens. He is right. What am I doing here?! „What do you want?“, he asks softly when his face is only inches away from mine and I stare in his beautiful warm brown eyes. It seems like my body has gotten a mind of its own because before I even realize it I breathe out: „You.“ I crash my lips onto his and Lucifers body stiffen.

 

For a second I am afraid that he will pull away again but then he kisses me back, warms wrapping around my waist. When we break apart, our foreheads touching lightly, I can see a big smile on his face. His gaze wandering to my neck. He lets out a small breath of relief.“You…. You wear my necklace again!“, he states. I nod in response. Right after I left Lucifers Penthouse a week ago, and I was thinking a lot about the gift he gave me on my bithday, I thought it would be right to wear it again. To be honest, I didn’t quite knew why i took it off in the first place… So I smile at him, to assure him that everything will be back to normal in no time. His eyes are shining brightly and I know in this moment that I’m in love with this dorky devil. Then Lucifer announced something that I didn’t believe he would say first. “I love you!“, he whispered. Shocked about his own words, Lucifers eyes go wide. At first I’m out of words. I don’t know what to say but then I remember my little revelation from before. I know I love him too.

 

So that's what I’m answering. I can tell he's relieved to hear those words and picked me from the ground to spin me around. We are laughing and smiling at each other. Those feelings are soo overwhelming but again so soothing and wonderful. Thousands of butterflies are flying through my stomach right now and I can’t help a little giggle as Lucifer finally let me down. One part of me wants to hold him and never let go. But the other part want nothing more than to be finally on steady ground with my feet. I’m a bit dizzy from all the spinning and laughing. Lucifer keeps his hands on my hips but loosens his grip a bit. “I was never so happy in my existence than right now. Here with you Chloe Jane Decker, my miracle.“, he says and I can’t help a tear that escaped my eyes from falling down my cheek. He carefully lifts both his hands and caresses my face. I grab his sleeve and burry my face into his white shirt. I can feel his hands slowly drawing circles on my lower back and I let out a small sob. I’m so happy at he moment. Happy to be just with him. Lucifer Morningstar, my partner in crime, selfish devil and now Boyfriend.