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Alien Buffy

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Faith burst through the door, hitting the floor in a tight tuck. Right on time. Rolling to her feet, she drew the sword at her back and swung smoothly at the demon.

It should have been a kill shot.

Instead, her hands vibrated like Faith had pinged a softball of the handle of a metal bat. “Motherfucker!” She loosened her grip on the sword, flexing her fingers to relieve the sting, and stared at the blond bimbo in the blue and red body suit who’d appeared out of thin air.

Right in the way of Faith’s weapon.

Tiny skirt swirling in the breeze from the shattered office windows, the woman held the demon in one hand. “Miss Luthor! Are you OK?”

“I’m fine, Supergirl.” The woman behind the desk, Miss Luthor, hadn’t bothered to get out of chair.

What was wrong with these people? “You’d be better than fine if I’d killed the demon someone hired to kill you,” Faith snapped. “I don’t throw myself in front of you,” her fury turned to Supergirl, “when you’re duking it out with whatever alien’s landed this week!”

“And I don’t swing swords at anyone’s head,” Supergirl answered with a mulish expression.

“You would if you wanted to cut. Their. Head. Off!” Faith brandished her sword. “It’s a demon! I’m a Slayer. Killing’s kinda my job. I kill it. It doesn’t kill Miss Luthor.”

“She has a point, Supergirl.” Mischief danced in Miss Luthor’s eyes, like she didn’t understand she’d almost died.

Supergirl released the demon and planted both hands on her hips. That was Faith’s opportunity.

She stepped around Alien Buffy. “Safety’s my middle name.” The demon was all alone. A tragedy. “Oh, come on!” When Supergirl yanked the demon out of reach again, Faith slammed her sword on the floor with a frustrated clang.

“Mr. Giles was complaining about our weapons budget last week.” Closing her eyes in despair, Faith gently sheathed her completely clean, completely unharmed sword. “Thank you, sweetie. If you sit through another budget meeting, you’ll only complain about meetings and stuck-up Tweed again,” Tara continued.

“Is your Mr. Giles white and old-fashioned?”  Miss Luthor stood and came around the desk in a clatter of heels. “I have some experience with men like him.”


“Being a Slayer sounds so exciting!” Kara waved her fork, and Miss Luthor (call me Lena) ducked before she lost an eye. “Demons and vampires and saving the world.”

Faith leaned back in the booth. For once, she didn’t feel like eating. The whole day had been a shit show, from the demon hitman who was sitting in some government jail cell to this bogus interview. “Yeah, it’s great. If ya’ discount almost dying every day and having creepy as fuck undead trying to take over the world.”

Fiddling with her glasses, Kara seemed stumped by Faith’s attitude.

“Maybe you should tell Kara about…” Tara tried to intervene, but Faith had had enough.

“I bet being a Slayer’s a lot like being a superhero, except I can’t fly or repel bullets.” Faith saw Kara’s eyes widen behind her lenses. “What do you think?”

“Oh! Oh, well, I…” Kara cleared her throat stared at her empty plate. “I wouldn’t know anything about that. I’m just a normal human…person! A normal person.” Her gaze lifted, sliding over Faith and Tara and locking on to Lena.

Faith snorted then grunted as a familiar steel-toed combat boot slammed into her calf.

“Don’t let Faith fool you. Most of the time we do boring research.” Tara leaned into Faith. “She likes to play at being the Dark Slayer of the Slayer’s Council.”

“I don’t play.” Faith scowled when the other woman laughed.

Lena reached across the table and patted Faith’s hand. Patted her hand. Like she was a totally useless Junior Slayer who’d only just gotten juiced up. “Thank you, again, for saving me. Assassination attempts aren’t unusual; however, this was my first demon. Lex prefers a more human touch.”

“Probably got his wires crossed.” Faith relaxed a little. Kara drove her batty, but Lena was cool. “The Order uses humans and demons on their contracts. Bet he figured he was payin’ for something that wouldn’t get your pet alien’s attention.”

She’d hit a hot button. Kara stiffened, and Faith silently dared her to say something. Anything. “Lena doesn’t…Supergirl is her friend!”

Lena patted Faith’s hand one last time before wrapping an arm around Kara. “Of course, she is. My best alien friend.” Faith nearly missed Lena’s wink and quicksilver smile. “Like you’re my best human friend, darling.”