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Two Dumbass Gays

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Okay. So. That happened.

The night before, he'd had sex with Tsu–Naomasa (he'd told him to call him that, but he was still getting used to it). And, yeah, he hadn't slept with anyone in six years, but he thought it was Good.

Like, really Good.

The problem now was he didn't know what this meant. He ran the night through his mind:

"You don't know how long I've wanted to do this."

"You're so beautiful."

"Let me know if you want to stop, okay? I've got you."

"Ah…you're too sweet, Toshinori."

Was that Tsukauchi excelling at sex etiquette? It seemed a large possibility, flattering him to loosen him up. Which was fine. After all, it was a very nice night. Had he mentioned that yet? Because it was. Very nice, that was.

Toshinori was flushed just thinking about it, face red with embarrassment. How did he succumb to the man's effects so easily?

Admittedly, he was maybe a little into Tsukauchi. Like, not sexually–romantically. And he may have read them being intimate incorrectly, but he was really hoping Tsukauchi liked him back.

Liked him back. God, he sounded like he was in middle school.

That thought caused him to open his eyes. Mostly out of spite.

Did he not mention he'd been closing his eyes? Well, it was because he'd been met with a certain sight when he woke up and…it was a bit overwhelming for his barely awake eyes (and his flustered and pounding heart).

Tsukauchi was sleeping on his chest, cheek planted firmly against Toshi's ribs. His mouth was slightly open and his lips were formed in a soft pout. He was snoring quietly, a low drone imitating from his occasionally flaring nostrils. He had his arm wrapped around Toshinori's torso and his hand loosely clenched around a fistful of his shirt.

He was too fucking cute. And cuddly. It made Toshinori feel warm and fuzzy, being cuddled despite his bony appearance. The realization that Tsukauchi was asleep made the feeling increase. It was his body's natural reaction, he would have moved if he was uncomfortable.

Their legs were intertwined and despite Tsukauchi's head resting on his chest, his feet were only reaching Toshi's ankles. He found himself amused at the height difference and stifled a snort.

The air went down wrong and then he was stifling a cough as well, hastily raising the hand that wasn't being laid on to muffle the noise.

His chest shaking caused Tsukauchi to shift with an unhappy grumble. He put more pressure on his chest as if to pin him down and stop moving, but it only caused him to cough harder.

Toshinori wheezed. All too used to his early morning coughing fits, he sat up with his back against the wall behind him in a practiced motion and dragged Tsukauchi along who finally settled with grabbing his thighs with a groan.

Thankfully, the fit was over after a few minutes and he let out a wet sigh when it ended. Tsukauchi was still sleeping, fingers latched onto his thighs.

He assumed he wasn't a morning person with a fond smile that quickly turned into a panicked expression when the man moved in a distinct about-to-wake-up way.

Okay, okay, what was he supposed to say? Something suave, right? Shit, what sounded suave?

Too soon–before he'd even come up with a semblance of a greeting–Tsukauchi mumbled, tightened his grip on Toshinori's pants and thighs, and fluttered his eyelids lightly.

Holding his breath, he watched him take in his surroundings and he knew when he realized where he was because his whole body froze.

He felt his heart sink. Great.

Tsukauchi rose his head to make eye contact with him. He was completely red in the face.

They stared at each other.

"Hi. Um. Good morning," Toshinori stuttered out. "I wasn't…I wasn't just staring at you as you slept. That's creepy. I wasn't. Just so you know. You just happened to wake up. I woke up like two minutes ago."

His eyes narrowed blearily. "…Okay."

Fuck. His quirk. Well. Shit. That was fine. Not mortifyingly embarrassing at all. He coughed just to cough because he didn't have any words to say.

"You're bloody," Tsukauchi murmured. "Are you alright?"

This was going perfectly was his bitter thought as he hastened to grab a handkerchief off his bedside table. "I'm fine! I had a coughing fit a moment ago, but it's fine. It's what happens in the morning after sleeping. Normal."

He was talking too much. That was another embarrassing thing.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

Toshinori nodded silently.

They stared at each other again.

He kind of wanted to cry.

Tsukauchi wiggled off of his legs, his movement slow and eyes almost closed. "Sorry for cuddling you."

"No! I liked it. I mean, it's very sweet. I didn't mind. You did choke me a little, but that's on my lung. Ha."

There was a pause. And then:

"Choke you?!" Tsukauchi squawked. He was suddenly wide awake.

Toshinori shook his head desperately. "No, you were just cuddling me while I was laying down! On my chest. You were laying on me, but then I coughed so then you tightened your grip on me and I had to cough more so…."

That didn't seem to be comforting.

"I'm so so sorry! I wasn't doing it on purpose–"

"–No, Tsukauchi-kun–"

"–I mean I know you know I wasn't–"

"–it's really no problem–!"

"–doing it on purpose–"

"–I'm fine–"

"–but I'm really sorry–"

"–I was really just joking!"

They stared at each other.

"…I told you to call me Naomasa," he finally mumbled awkwardly.

Toshinori hated that his heart skipped a beat at those words. "I apologize, I forgot. I also didn't know if you wanted me to genuinely? Or if it was because of last night…."

"No, no! You can call me Naomasa. I want you to call me Naomasa."

He couldn't hide his smile, but he ducked his head down anyway. "Then you can call me Toshinori."

There was silence. He was still smiling, but he couldn't get himself to stop. That small glimmer of hope was becoming more of a shooting star. He wanted to call him Naomasa.

"Naomasa," he said. It was murmured warmly and maybe a little too fondly.

"Toshinori," Naomasa (Naomasa!) hummed back. Toshinori didn't know if he was reading too far into it, but to him, it sounded just as fond.

Maybe it was because of that fondness. Or maybe it was that shooting star of hope. But he brought the subject up with a little confidence. "I enjoyed last night."

He wasn't too confident, really. He wasn't even looking at Naomasa.

"I enjoyed last night too."

Did he enjoy it like he did? Did he want to go on a date? Did he want to keep it physical? He grimaced at the possibilities and unknowns.

"Are you okay?" Naomasa asked. He put his hand on his knee gently, rubbing at the area.

He jumped before relaxing into the touch. "Oh. Yes. I'm good." Very, very slowly, he placed his hand on top of his. "I was just thinking."

They sat there. Hands touching. Minds whirring.

Finally, Naomasa said, "So, we're dating now, right?"

Right when Toshinori asked, "Do you like me?"



"–do you not like me–?"

"–Do you want to date me?"

They stared at each other, questions in their eyes.

"I…I may have misread and assumed we were both interested in each other," Naomasa squeaked out after a second. "I mean, you were watching me in my sleep! We-we slept together, isn't that gay? Like, romantically gay?"

"…You like me?"

Naomasa stuck his head out in front of him like 'obviously?' and let out a strangled noise. "Yeah, yeah, I think I've exposed myself enough to say that I like you. Romantically. In a gay way."


He stuck his head out impossibly farther, his neck stretched in exasperation as he waved his hands around. "'Oh?' What does 'oh' mean? You're not giving me anything here!"

"Oh, right," Toshinori chuckled dazedly. "I apologize, my bad."

There was a pause and Naomasa's eyes bulged as if to say 'go on' hysterically.

"Oh! Right! I thought you realized. I like you too." He smiled goofily. "You said you wanted to date me?"

He let out a rough breath, sighing. "You're a dumbass." Naomasa couldn't help but laugh, "But I guess I'm a dumbass too. We are…two dumbass gays."

Toshinori didn't know what face he was making, but it made Naomasa laugh again.

"Yeah, I want to date you. Even if you're a jerk for making me worry like that."


"You've both been crushing on each other for literal months–"

"–you fucking slept together–"

"–and it took you a whole morning to figure out if you liked each other or not?"

Toshinori stared sheepishly at his coworkers, but Shouta, Nemuri, and Hizashi just stared back at him in disbelief.

The phrase: "We are…two dumbass gays," echoed through Toshinori's mind and he smiled.

"We were a bit foolish." He hid his laugh with his hand. "But we're dating now."

"Oooooh, Toshi's got a boyfriend," Hizashi and Nemuri cooed at the same time, cackling like elementary schoolers.

He was expecting them, they were gossiping heathens and lived to tease him to death. But when Shouta smirked at him, he knew he was in for it.

And, well…who was he to not gush about his new boyfriend to his almost as new best friends?