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Furious

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Katsuki seems to be angry at all times, furious with the world that sees him as a villain. With his parents that are so similar to him and yet so different at the same time, them, who are incapable of distancing themselves from his son and let Bakugou be his own person. With Deku who wants to be a hero, despite all difficulties, but who does nothing more than to take notes on his notebooks and wait for a miracle, while Katsuki trains everyday with powers that make him popular but that are too difficult to control at the best of days. With Deku who gets his miracle when he can’t even go through a normal conversation with his best friend without feeling the ire and the irritation itching like a rash all over his body.

With Deku’s father, even though Katsuki knows he doesn’t have the right to hate him, but knowing with all sureness that, if he doesn’t hate the man, no one will. Because Deku doesn’t know how to hate and he learnt that from his mother. Katsuki hates him, detests him, because this is the man who’s never at home, the man whose broken promises patented that genuine smile, but with that empty, open, almost dead look in his friend’s eyes (his enemy, his rival, his friend).

He feels anger and fury with his teachers at UA, who admit he’s a good student, who are completely aware that his ire and personality are not normal, who could get him the help he needs, like all the other schools in other countries do. But who do nothing and ignore his fits of anger (just enough to chain him and restrain him like an animal that they don’t know, can’t, control).

With All Might, who’s so familiar yet so distant at the same time and who seems to only be able to pay attention to Deku (Deku, Deku, Deku).

With Kirishima and Ashido, with Sero and Kaminari, who started like extras in the action comic in his head, but who became companions, friends, reasons to leave his anger at one side. Because no one of them leave him because of his fits of anger.

Because Kirishima, his best friend, says he’s his perfect partner, that person that can be at his side and not get hurt.

Because Ashido laughs at him when his emotions control him, even when before her, everyone ran away from him, horrified  at the most minimum sign of a mood change.

Because Sero and Kaminari are stupid and don’t have even a little bit of self preservation, because they have no fear, because they don’t fear him, not even a little bit.

But more than anyone, more than the people who ignore him, more that his parent who have zero concept of autonomy and don’t know a bit about his own dreams, more than Deku and his dreams that always come true, more than his teachers and All Might and those idiots who call themselves his friends. More than any other person, Katsuki hates himself.

He hates himself because he’s incapable of controlling himself, because he’s strong, but not strong enough to fight his own emotions. He hates himself because he’s never enough.

He hates himself because he doesn’t know how to love himself, hates himself because he can’t remember the last time he was really in charge of his temperament and because he doesn’t know how to do it, doesn’t have the tools to achieve it.

He hates himself because he’s never felt anything more than self hate, nothing more than hate, and anger and fury.