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You're a lonely soul
Cause you wont let go
Of anything you hold

 

Lena Luthor was always a priar. Part of a complicate family, for say the least. A girl who has become a CEO, a woman, but with scars present since her childhood. When she was in that cell, the cell of a genocidal, the cell of a hateful human being, the cell of a brother, the brunette didn’t want to feel anything.

However, the boxes were full and she experienced the pain of being alone all over again. More than that, actually. Lena Luthor realized the ultimate betrayal. The only friend that she had, the person who she could talk, the family she has won, finally came to pieces. Kara Danvers was Supergirl. Kara Danvers was a liar. The Danvers Sisters never trusted her, while she gave everything to them. Everything to Alex.

Lena relives every moment on their presence since Supergirl flew with her on her arms.  First, she thought it was a dream again, just like when Morgan Edge poisoned her. After, she denied that her best friend and the person she begun to love lied right on her face. Now, it’s dark out there, she is sitting on the top of L-Corp with a chessboard in front of her eyes, a glass full of whiskey in her hand, but the mind, it’s not hers anymore.

It’s empty of Lena. Although, teeming of Luthor.

“Miss Luthor, I already organize your schedule for the weekend. Do you need something more?”

The CEO look up and talks with an empty voice. A perfect businesswoman, like always “No miss…”

“Jane. The new intern from downstairs. Software department” Lena has the impression that the girl is repeating herself. Yet, she doesn’t remember the moment she heard that.

“Oh…of course. Jane from Software department…Thank you.” It’s more a note from her mind.

The young girl leaves with some kind of question mark in her expression for all Lena can see it. Jane from Software department, she said. Another reminder that even her assistant was never hers. It was a plane orchestrated and completed by Lex.

Seems like she can win from him on chess, but don’t have the same results when it comes to real life. Lena smiles with the irony of the moment. She is a genius, has a lot a medals, prizes and money to prove it. Still, couldn’t notice that her friend was never that either. Lena Luthor herself was never hers. It was a figure made by Lillian, Lionel and Lex. Made by the losses, the superiority complex, the feelings, or better, the boxes. Right on that couch, the young woman was finally herself, with nothing. Without a friend, a family, a lover or a home.


 

“Hey, I didn’t think you’re coming… Is everything okay?” Lena gets up of her desk and walks to the beautiful vision on leather jacket and jeans that it’s on front of her.

“I was the one who should ask that. ‘You okay? I don’t think you’ve should went look for Eve with us. You just came from the hospital.”

“Really…?” The CEO arches her right eyebrow “If it wasn’t for me, Supergirl would be injured because of that new Metallo and you…” takes a few steps closer to the short hair girl “could be on a hospital right now. Actually, WE would be, since I would now let you step out of the bed”

The older Danvers put her arms surrounding Lena and rest the head on her shoulder “Well… Saying like that, I kinda wish you weren’t there. Being on a bed with you by me side it’s a great image” Alex deeply smells the field perfume there’s always on Lena’s hair. Reminds her of Midvale, groin up running throw the countryside, free and dreamy.

The short woman closes her eyes and tries to embrace all of the agent’s body “Don’t joke with that, Alex” She separates herself a little bit just to look inside of that eyes. That soft eyes. “The country wouldn’t be the same without you, agent”

Alex gives a tiny smile “The country, right?”

“Yeah… The country couldn’t lose a remarkable and loyal citizen, agent” Lena bites her own lip while trying to stay with a serious face.

“It’s Director now” Alex corrects “A remarkable director”

“Sorry. Director Danvers” The CEO finales give up and open a big smile that could shine the world for the other woman.

“I already told you how much I like your accent?” The taller girl rubs the point of her nose with Lena's “It’s so sexy… I could hear you say my wrong role all night”

“As much I like that, A-ge-nt. I have some papers to sign before I live” Lena puts a kiss on Alex’s cheek before she goes around and sits on her desk, living the Danvers with a cute but disappointed face.

Alex takes a chair on the other side of the desk and jokes spinning “Can I wait for you here?”  

 


 

 

“…Supergirl if you’re watching, make no mistake. This act of horrific terrorism will not go unanswered...” Alex turn up the volume of one of Lena’s tv when she see the president on screen.

“What is that?” Lena look up and flips her chair to listen the announcement

“You’re now public enemy number one” and the president is out

“Oh my god. They will hunter her down.”

“What’s going on? Wasn’t the DEO aware of that?”

The director gets up from the chair “No, of course not. I don’t believe this was her. She was with us this afternoon and everything looked fine.”

“The watch. Use it. Call her here.” Lena leans up in the desk and bends her arms, afraid of Alex sees they’re trembling. She knows one thing: This is the job of a Luthor.

Before the brunette press the button “Are you sure? Someone can see it.”

“That’s not important right now. At most, people will think a Super is here for killing me and cherish for that. One less Luthor in the world.”

Alex doesn’t answer and press the button, but she notices all that self-loathing on Lena’s speech. She hated it.

Take last than thirty seconds and the hero of National City is in front of them with the proud symbol of her family on her chest, only the face isn’t nothing like it. Supergirl seems sad, frustrated, even more, exhausted. The young Luthor never saw her like that and tries to keep the space, not feeling very good for approach either. However, Lena notices that Alex is in front of the Super, trying to reach her just like she does when they’re alone.

“Did you call me here to arrest me?” and the moment is gone. Alex steps back.

“No… You would never do something like this.”

“We know you didn’t do this. We’re on your side, Supergirl”

The girl with the red cape exhales, her expression changes. It’s as if a massive weight was taken from her shoulders. Although, not all of them. “They think I’m a terrorist. I helped people for years and now this is all gone…” She starts to walk in circles “It’s all wiped away with one lie”

“He built a convincing lie.” Lena interrupts her babbling.

“He?”

“Lex, of course. This is his work. He's an expert at perception. Consummate gaslighter. He can make you doubt things that you know are true.” The CEO steps away from the desk and stands next to Alex with the attention of the two other women on her. “Working together it’s the best chance of catching him”

The old Danvers looks at Lena “It’s dangerous. I read the letter he left in your office. It’s better if I take this to some agents that I trust and Supergirl”

“I know my brother. I’m your best chance of getting him.” The brunette pulls her best businesswoman’s eyes, and the director knows that she can’t win this.

Kara doesn’t get all that conversation between those looks, but knows her sister and, surrender it’s not something she's used to do “Okay... So, what we can do?”

Lena turns her attention to the blonde, still feeling Alex’s eyes on any movement she makes “My mother said that Lex had someone inside of prison. He always left when he wanted to.”

“So someone was helping him. Who?”

“The warden”

“Fine. Tomorrow we are going there. I’ll talk with some people and get us the access.” Alex proposes and already thinks about what she can say to Colonel Hayley for not being on DEO.

“That’s not necessary. I have a way for enter there and you…You can’t just disappear from work. Could raises suspicions.” Lena points out.

“Then we go.” Kara hears a distress call from some street below “Someone needs help. I have to go. See you tomorrow, Lena” and flies.

 


 

 

 “Come on…Don't be upset that you can't go” It’s the first thing the young Luthor tells when opens the door of her house. Alex comes behind her, holding a bag of Italian food.

“I’m not upset. It’s just… I don’t like seeing you out there without protection” The short-hair woman says while it’s putting the Pasta Puttanesca on the desk and taking her jacket off.

Lena stops walking to the room and turns around “Your protection, right?” she laughs “I’m literally going with someone that can’t get hurt or sweaty; And can probably lifts this entire planet”

“How can I compete with that?” Alex groan.

When the CEO goes to her room, Alex really thinks about that phrase. The director is not invulnerable, however that isn’t a reason for liking her lover on a dangerous place. Lover. That’s a word she didn’t know she could use again. Mostly, that’s a word she didn’t speak out loud. Maybe afraid of Lena or herself escapes. She had been hurt, but in the last weeks, that wasn’t a feeling when her sister’s best friend was around. They’re similar people. Humans begins that didn’t want feel a lot anymore.

Still, on that place, organizing the dinner, holding a plate and putting some spaghetti from Lena’s favorite restaurant, she was full of emotions. Last night, Alex Danvers was entering L-Corp and didn’t knew what happened after Lex escaped. The director felt worried, hopeless and above all, afraid of never telling her true feelings.  Tonight, she was decided to change that.

The brunette comes to the living room with just the white shirt that she was using for work, seats besides Alex on the couch and opens the wine. Looks like a regular scene of a married couple. “You don’t have to worried, okay? I know my brother. If he wants to do something... dramatic, he is going to be there to see it. And unfortunately, the prison has longer that Luthor.” She takes the wine.

“ ’You really engaged to make me feel better, aren’t you?” Alex keeps her eyes on top of that hole image “I know you are a master of getting what you want, but this a low blow.” She smirks.

“What you’re talking about?”Lena asks, raising an eyebrow like nobody. 

“This look… White shirt, loose hair, wine, italian food… How cliché Miss Luthor has become?”

Lena laughs. After all, she forgotten that this was a girl with serious skills of perception. The agent had discovered her move. “You can’t blame a woman for trying”

“Not just trying” Alex drops the food and the wine. She starts approaching Lena’s side, taking all the things away from her hands too. “I’m glad you just have a shirt on” Just like that, the dinner is forgotten.

Alex puts her legs around Lena’s body and starts to dump kisses and touches all over her belly. When she’s above, the attack really begins “Alex, don’t. Stop. Stop it. I won’t take it. Please.” Of course she didn’t stop it. Power along with happiness, that’s was what moved the agent. Having that beautiful woman renderer on her hands was priceless. 

Alex gives a little time for Lena recomposed herself, but couldn’t take her eyes of her. “Your abilities always amaze me, a-ge-nt. With your mentality or hands.” The Luthor relaxes, something that she wasn't used to do. She bites her lips and let be dragged down on the couch by Alex's body, while feels her hands rubbing her neck. “We should take this to the ro…”

“Shhh” Alex says looking at the other and putting a kiss on the lips, which are still red. A color she is beginning to love. When the moment seems right, the director gets some distance just for look into that hypnotic green eyes “Baby, I…” Lena pulls her back and silence her.

 


 

When the sound of her phone is ringing, Alex puts her head up, grabs the device from the floor and turns the alarm off. She realizes the dark forest made of hair on her chest and smiles. Waking up on Lena’s place is good, but when she’s still sleeping, is the best thing in the world. It’s rare to see that executive being so not executive and Alex feels bless for seeing something so stunning.

However, doesn’t last forever. She remembers she has a meeting on DEO this morning and has to move away from Lena’s body. With careful, she takes army by army and when she is already stepping on the carpet, she stops just to looking one more time. She covers the sleeping woman with a blanket and Lena snuggles and moans, provoking a chuckle in Alex. She grabs her things that are spreading all of the room, but can’t stop feeling guilty for not being able to express her feelings last night. So, she takes a piece a paper, a pen and lefts a note.

 


 

The office is empty now and when she is walking to the car, Lena can’t avoid looking up. The skies of National City are darker or it’s just reflection?  She pulls her overcoat closer, in an attempt to ward off the cold. 

Doesn’t work.

The driver sees her approaching “Home, Miss Luthor?”

She considers, facing the man. This could be easier. She could lie like she lied her entire life, like she lied when Kara entered that secret room on prison. Pretend like everything is okay. Bury herself while warm arms surrounding her.

She feels the note on her pocket and the sweet smells of last night come to her senses. Lena isn’t a cuddle. Since her mother died, no one had hugged her so softly and protectively. The Luthors doesn’t have that ability.

But the Danvers do.

Alex do.

And there’s nothing she wants more than go back to this early, on her apartment. When the sun was not up yet and, she woke up just to see another body closer to her right before her eyes closed again.

Lena craves my attention. Pathetic.

She hates that. She hates that Lex’s words are so true. She hates herself that she wants to change. She hates even more that she has to go dark. She has to be strong again. And Lena Luthor learned.

Strength doesn’t come with people. With liars.

 “No, Frank”

 


 

Alex was exciting like she wasn’t for a long time. She had been dating, but no one made her stomach tumbling like that green eyes woman. She was starting to think that they’re some power not categorized on earth. Still, very effective on her.

She didn’t have heard from Lena since this morning. When she asked Kara if she knew anything, her sister told her that Lena was probably on some reunion. She assumed that everything worked out fine on prison. No news was heard, but Lena's silence is starring to concerned her.

Sitting on this restaurant half way from L-Corp, with her phone on her hand, she wishes she had not booked this meeting. Alex just wanna look at Lena’s face and kiss her. Of course she sill want to say everything, but words seems overrated right now.

She makes a silent promise. When she sees Lena, first she will hug her, like as if she would never let go, kiss her with so slowly like the time is frozen and then... Only then, tell her. 

I love you.

She grabs the helmet, gets on her motorcycle and go straight to what feels like home.

 


 

“It’s going to take a few more minutes to get the airplane done, but your cabin is already done”

“Alright. Send a notice to the residence. There’s been a long time that I don’t go there.”

The assistant agreed and goes to talk with the pilot, while Lena enters the jet. She didn’t bring any baggage. That’s the good thing of being a billionaire. She can start all over again and not caring about materials stuff. But that seems to be the least now. Emotions are what it’s not welcome.

They had to go.

Lena pushes Alex’s note from her pocket, takes a deep breath and watch all of that words that had made her so happy a few hours ago. Still are the very words, with Alex fast handwriting. Now, doesn’t have the same effect.

“Everything it’s settled, Miss Luthor. Do you need something else?” the assistant comes with a glass of whiskey for Lena.

“No, thank you. Throw this in the trash, please” she hands the small piece of paper.

“Sure. The pilot said the weather is clear. Enjoy your fly, Miss Luthor.” the woman leaves and Lena takes a sip on her drink.

I hate flying.

 


 

When Alex comes into Lena’s building, the doorman let her in. Her passage is almost expected and that always comfort her. Maybe, she' s home. Maybe Lena is waiting for her.

On the elevator, she can't stop moving. Her feet look like they have a motor.

She is home, right?

She stops, the sign rings, the door opens and it’s all dark.

“Lena?” Alex steps forward, look too all the windows.

It shouldn’t be cold with all those temperature regulators. But it is.

There’s no one there.

 


 

 

Tonight. You and me. Your favorite restaurant. See you there, baby.

- A