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Sick of Losing Soulmates

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We will grow old as friends, 
I've promised that before so what's one more
In our grey-haired circle, waiting for the end?

Time and hearts will wear us thin
So which path will you take, 'cause we both know a break
Does exactly what it says on the tin

Sick of Losing Soulmates - Dodie

 

"You can't just keep doing this!" Rachel yelled at Patrick from across the house. 

"Well, I don't know what else to do!"

Patrick stormed into the bedroom and pulled out his rucksack. He started throwing as many clothes into it as possible while Rachel hovered at the door.

Everything had been fine, and he’d manage to strangle that uncomfortable feeling in his stomach down to something bearable after he’d proposed to Rachel. This was what was right, after all. 

But every now and then Rachel would rub him the wrong way, and Patrick would snap back. And today had been the last straw. Wedding arrangements had been taking their toll on the couple, and Patrick wasn’t sure he wanted to do it anymore. He wasn’t sure if he’d ever wanted it, really.

Because what else could he possibly want, when he has everything? 

”I thought you were done with this bullshit!” she snapped, throwing her arms out. 

“Apparently not,” Patrick sighed.

“Will you ever let us be together?”

Patrick turned to look at her. “I don’t know.”

She huffed out a laugh. “Just what every girl wants to hear.” 

“You’re my best friend, Rachel, I just...I don’t know how to explain it.” 

“Then find the fucking words!” 

Patrick held his breath, thinking everything he knew over. This had been his whole world his entire life, yet it never really felt right. He couldn’t keep running away and coming back, again and again. It wasn’t fair anymore. 

“I think we should end things.”

Rachel let out a shaky breath in response. “You’re just going to give up on me like that?”

Patrick sat down on the bed and gestured for Rachel to come and sit next to him. 

“I don’t know why things aren’t working for me, but you’re right. We can’t keep doing...this. It’s not healthy. And you deserve better.” 

Rachel pinned him with an intense gaze that he couldn’t quite meet. 

“So this is it, huh?” 

Patrick shrugged. “I need a chance to find answers. And you deserve a chance to move on.”

”Okay.”

They sat there in silence for a little longer, Patrick fighting tears as he thought about what he was doing. At 30, it felt quite fucked to just throw the life you thought you’d built away in a matter of seconds. And yet, he’d done it. 

“I’ll be gone in the morning,” Patrick admitted in a low voice. 

Rachel nodded, and left the bedroom a moment after, leaving Patrick to sit in the mess he’d made. 

 

'Cause I'm sick of losing soulmates, so where do we begin
I can finally see, you're as fucked up as me
So how do we win?