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You think I Would Be So Cruel?

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“And why didn’t you tell me sooner?” Eren stood dumbfounded by his Captains words, “well?” Levi asked expecting an answer that Eren wasn’t sure he knew how to give.

He swallowed past the lump in his throat. “I—I just didn’t think you’d have t-the time...” it sounded more like a question now he was saying it out loud.

“You didn’t think I’d have the time to raise my own child?” Levi’s eyes narrowed as if he suspected that Eren was lying. There no getting past him.

Eren shifted and his hands started fiddling with each other as he tried to find a way to answer the man. He had wanted to tell him, he’d wanted to tell him since he first found out. But he had never found the time to. Levi was always doing something around the big house they called home, he was always yelling at someone or getting yelled at. Being attacked by Titans or just from the general public. He had a lot on his plate. Then every night Levi would go to bed and Eren could never seem to catch him in the right mood before the door was shut. Every day that he left the secret for was another day for Levi to be mad about it. But Eren had made his mind up. Hanji had offered to help terminate this whole thing, and Mikasa had seemed to really enjoy that idea. But he didn’t want to, it was selfish but he had always wanted a baby, and he didn’t want to let that chance slip right through his fingers. So sure it was selfish, but it was also his body and his life.

“It’s not that, Sir.” Eren looked away from Levi and to the floor. “You’re just always busy, there’s always something happening. I want this, even if you didn’t I would still want this... I was just scared that you would get angry with me, beat me up like you did back in court.” Eren explained, remembering how much blood at actually fallen from his mouth, blood and a tooth that -grew back.

Levi huffed at his statement, had Eren learnt nothing from his time in the Survey Corps? Did he really come across like he would beat up the omega who mothered his child? Levi thought that maybe he needed to reassess a few things about himself. “Okay,” was his answer. “And how would you raise it?” He questioned.

“H-here I guess? I’m not allowed anywhere without somebody having a close watch on me.” He pointed out. The exact reason he had never thought he would get a baby, because his life wasn’t his anymore it belonged to Humanity, it belong to the scouts and to anyone on a higher status then him. He had no control over what he does or where he goes, he probably won’t even have a choice of how he dies. This, this was something he felt like he had the right to make a choice on.

“And what if I said I didn’t want to see you raising my brat around here? That I didn’t want to see them?” Levi hummed.

Eren was hurt, and it shown on his face as his eyes filled with tears he refused to let spill. An omega completely and utterly rejected by their alpha. It hurt, it would break anyone’s heart: but now Eren had the added pressure of being with child and being rejected. He never thought Levi would actually want a baby, he was not the type to sit around and raise a child. Eren had thought that maybe he would let him stay and raise it though, that he would turn a blind eye to genetics and give Eren the small bit of freedom to raise his child here. Even if that meant hiding them away as much as possible, never letting Levi hear or see her. At least he would get to hold them everyday and love them completely.

He stumbled a bit over his next words, “I-I um... I-“ He didn’t know what he would do. The baby would be taken away from him that was for sure. Maybe experimented on just in case they developed the shifting abilities he also had. Surely Levi wouldn’t be so cruel? “I don’t know sir, I-if not then I guess... my baby would be taken away... I wouldn’t get a say so. I never have before so why start now?” He spoke up, the truth rolling off his tongue, words he’d always meant to keep inside cane flowing out. “It was stupid of me- to think- to think that I would get to chose what happened when I’ve never had any control over my own life... how am I suppose to have control over my own baby’s life? I know it’s selfish, but without this I will never get to have a child, I can never grow into retirement and settle down with children, and I’ll never be able to get married or start a life outside these damn walls, because my life belongs to shitty people like you, like Erwin, Zachary, the whole of humanity who has a say in how I live and when I live. I’m never allowed my own life, then once I’m no longer useful, once you’ve all got what you wanted I’ll be killed, like I was nothing more then a spider who wondered inside.

“But you guys, you’ll keep going on about your life, a Titan free world where you can forget about me and start living freely. I don’t have that option because I’m property and not a person.” Eren hadn’t meant to say all that, it was like once the dam had broke nothing could hold back the flood of feelings. And now.. now he was crying in front of Levi, for the whole damn squad to wonder around the corner and see. He couldn’t care though, not anymore. He felt like he might explode from the rush of emotions his mind was trying to process. He’d tried to stay so calm and collected, hide what he was really feeling away, because he wasn’t allowed to feel like that. He wasn’t human to any of these people, they didn’t understand that he felt like a dog in a cage.

“Is that really how you feel?” Levi asked. Eren almost growled at him for the dumb question, of course that’s how he felt, why would he say otherwise? The man looked taken aback though. “You think I’m a shitty person?” Now that was not the question he thought would leave his superiors mouth.

Eren started to shake his head, then decided he had come this far so why start lying now. He nodded. Levi sighed and stepped back a bit. “You’re the one who’s going to kill me right? I think I have the rights to say you’re a shitty person.” Eren mumbled, Levi still caught what he had said though.

“I guess so..” Levi shrugged. “We do treat you like shit, I mean we keep you locked in a cell at night, we tell you to roll over and you’re expected to just do it. Fuck, even I took advantage and slept with you during your heat.” Eren’s eyes widened at that, but he had wanted it. He’d wanted to have the captain inside him, filling him up and making him cry from how good he felt. He liked the being looked after, the softer side of Levi. Once his heat was over Levi had dressed and left without so much as a single word. Eren thought he hadn’t like it, that he had done something wrong. One thing he was certain on though, he would never take back those nights. And not just because of the baby, but because for once in his messed up life he’d felt like he was human, like they were equal.

“You didn’t take advantage if I wanted it.” Eren half whispered. He couldn’t have Levi going around and believing he had assaulted someone when it wasn’t true.

Levi’s eyes sparkled with that. Eren didn’t hate him, he knew when the kid hated someone and he didn’t show any signs now. Not with the softness of his voice, the reassuring words and how he kept nervously looking away and at the floor. So for now Eren might think he is a shitty person- and who was Levi to tell him otherwise if he thought so as well, but Eren didn’t hate him and that’s what mattered. He had thought the avoiding and lack of presence was because Eren finally decided Levi was not worth his time. But instead it was because he’d been scared, Levi hated that he felt relieved over that.

“Everyone decides what I do and how I do it, and I listen and follow the orders because I’m scared if I don’t I’ll be killed.” Eren spoke up again. “And now you’re all going to decided that I can’t have a baby, that I can risk passing on genetics, or even worse I can have the baby, but never see it. It’ll be taken away for experiments, a pawn in this shitty war.” He started crying again. Hormones, Eren thought, usually he could get through something like this then lock himself away and cry. “All I want is to do right by someone, now my own child will hate me for what I’m putting them through.”

Eren leant back against the stone wall, feeling like his legs were about to give away any moment. “I didn’t want to tell, because I knew I would never get to keep them. I-I don’t know what I would have done once the baby was here, but at least for a small moment I would have held them in my arms. Or worse, you would decide to keep them, raise them here and I would have to watch and pretend like that wasn’t my baby.” He sunk down until he was sat against the wall, knees bent up so he could rest his forehead on the white pants.

Levi stepped forward before crouching down, he lifted Eren’s face until the younger was looking at him. Tear filled eyes, eyes that were so beautiful. The blue-green sparkled behind the wetness that was surely blurring Eren’s vision. “You think I would be so cruel?” He asked, searching Eren’s face for any answers his mouth didn’t give. “You think I would let someone kill my child? Or use my child? You think I would force you away from our child?” He half whispered. “Then you must think I’m a shitty person.”

The omega sat stunned on the floor, be didn’t know what to say, what to do. Levi had said it was ‘our child’ he had acknowledge that this baby belonged to them both. He had implied that he wouldn’t let any harm come to the baby. He didn’t know what to do, what to think. He wanted to cry more, but he also didn’t think he had the energy to do much of anything but sit and watch Levi. He wanted to hug the man, he also felt like he needed to throw up from the sudden change of emotions. It was making him nauseous with the quick turn arounds.

Eren just sat there, then he decided that no really, he was going to be sick. He stood quickly and pulled from Levi, hating to do so but he didn’t think the alpha would appreciate being thrown up on. The omega made it to the bathroom that was under their massive stair case. Opening the door and not feeling like he had the time to close it properly or even lock it. He knelt down and started to heave up that mornings porridge and bread he had consumed. If it tasted awful going down then Eren couldn’t think of a word for when it was coming back up. It stung his throat, as his stomach contacted Eren gripped the toilet seat tighter. He hated throwing up, couldn’t stand how it made him feel shaky and week. He could kill a Titan in seven seconds flat without a sign he ever did so, but he couldn’t throw up without his whole body shaking and feeling the effects.

He hadn’t registered the person behind him, holding his shoulder length hair back as he released whatever was inside him. Not until he was finished and could feel the gentle hand on his back. It reminded him of when he was younger and his mother would hold him when he was sick. How she would stay with him all night to make sure he was okay.

“Shit, that’s disgusting.” Levi sighed, his hold never left Eren though.

“I-I’m sorry.” He said, his voice not really working very well anymore.

“Don’t be sorry brat, you can’t help it.” Levi stated. “It’s just gross.”

“I-I’ll empty the toilet.” Eren promised. It was his fault it smelt so bad now.

“Fuck no, I’ll make Kirstein do it.” Eren snorted at that. “I’ve been needing a punishment after overhearing him calling me ‘short ass’.” Levi shrugged. “But first, you bed, now.” Levi let go of Eren only to help him stand up. Just from looking at Eren there was no sign he was even pregnant, but the slight rise of his shirt exposed the swollen stomach that his too tight pants has managed to button around. Levi made a mental note to find a bigger uniform, or just bigger clothes in general.

The shifter had started towards the basement where his cell was, but Levi had pulled him by the hand and up the stairs. They had to climb three sets before making it to the wing Levi slept on. He knew Commander Erwin had a room up here too, and Hanji. Levi unlocked a door and dragged Eren inside. He might have thought it was an unoccupied room with how everything was set in place. If it weren’t for the bed sheets and stack of papers neatly placed on the desk. Or the lanterns that were lit up. Was this Levi’s room? He had never been inside his room before, Levi didn’t even tell people where he stayed. If they needed him at night people where expected to shout to him. Everyone was a light sleeper anyway.

“On the bed, I’m going to find you some comfier clothes.” Levi said before leaving the room again. Eren did as was told and sat on the bed waiting.

Levi returned a moment later holding a tray with tea and water, some neatly folded clothes and three bread rolls. He drawn his curtains shut so Eren would have some privacy while changing too. He accepted the clothing with a blush and began to strip off his uniform. He folded every item of clothing, not wanting to give Levi a reason to be mad at him. He then placed them at the end of the bed for now.

Once his top was completely off and Eren was free of the harness wrapped around his body Levi could see the tell tale sign of a baby bump. Small and round. It was... cute. Levi never thought anybody was cute, or anything for that matter, but now Eren was stood there in his room supporting a baby bump and it was the only word he could come up with. Eren was dressed and covering the bump with a top, he fiddled with the hem of the clothing not sure what he was suppose to do now: get in the bed? Go back to his own cell? Where did they even stand? Sure the we’re having this baby together, but that didn’t mean the Captain wanted to play happy families.

“Drink something, even if you don’t eat.” Levi said shoving water into Eren’s face. He brought tea just in case, but judging by the slight green colour of his skin Eren probably wouldn’t stomach it. The younger nodded and drained the glass of liquid before handing it back to Levi. “I have to go dismiss everyone from training, stay here and make yourself comfortable, I’ll be back soon.” Levi walked forward and kissed Eren’s forehead before leaving. The younger was blushing like mad, still feeling where the mans lips had been pressed.