A deep sigh brings Jeongguk back to reality. A sad reality. Summer’s over. No more vacations for him.
He stands in front of the tall building which he has to call home for the next few months. Not much to his delight. With a deep breath, he brings himself inside the building and climb the stairs to the third floor where his room is assigned. He doesn’t know who his roommate is, not that he cares anyway. He’s just going to ignore him like he did with his past roommates. Having Jeongguk as a roommate is really not everyone’s cup of tea. He brings the b in boring people would say.
As Jeongguk stepped in the dorms, he saw a few changes his roommate probably has made. It had a touch of home to it, a soft jazz music playing in one of the rooms. Jeongguk scans around, looking for his roommate but he was nowhere to be found. Just as Jeongguk’s about to walk to one of the empty rooms, the banging sound on the front door catches his attention. His brows furrow and he walks towards the door to open it, making a man stumble along with his big black bag.
His blonde hair was tussled and his glasses was on the floor so Jeongguk picked it up to give it to him.
“Hi,” the man pants, trying his best to get up while being weighed down by the big bag. “You must be my roommate,” he says again, now standing on both of his feet, bag thrown on the floor. He fixes his hair and his posture so that he stands straight in front of Jeongguk. “I’m Taehyung.” He smiles and it was so infectious, Jeongguk finds himself smiling back without even noticing it.
“I’m Jeongguk.” He replies and Taehyung smiles again.
“I think you got something for me,” Taehyung says, making Jeongguk raise his brows. Taehyung points to the glasses Jeongguk holds in his hands and he makes a soft “oh, right!” before handing Taehyung back the item.
Taehyung laughs while putting on his glasses. He then picks up his stuff on the floor and walks away without saying another word to Jeongguk.
But Jeongguk doesn’t mind because Jeongguk doesn’t even enjoy talking and he definitely is not going to enjoy talking with Taehyung. Or is he?
Jeongguk picks up his last box and throws it on the living room floor with a loud noise which results in Taehyung running out of his room, panic plastered on his face.
“What happened?” Taehyung asked making Jeongguk laugh softly.
“Nothing,” Jeongguk replies shortly. “Just unpacking.”
Taehyung’s features turn soft and he walks to Jeongguk slowly who is absorbed in unpacking. Taehyung sits across of him and Jeongguk looks up to him with yet another puzzled face.
“What?” Jeongguk asks.
“Can I help you unpack?” Taehyung says taking Jeongguk off guard.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk says hesitantly. “Yeah, I guess.”
It was quiet for about 10 minutes but neither of them seem to mind, finding comfort in the silence. Though Taehyung’s mind is itching, just screaming at him to ask Jeongguk a few questions. But he knows, Jeongguk is not that much of a talker and he respects that. But his mind doesn’t.
“What’s your full name?” Taehyung asks while he takes out the bubble wrapper from Jeongguk’s small lamp.
“Jeon Jeongguk.” He answers simply. “What’s yours?”
“Can you guess?” Taehyung teases and Jeongguk snorts.
“How do you suggest I guess your full name?”
Taehyung shrugs at this. “I don’t know,” he says. “But some people are able to do it just by looking at someone’s face. And they’ll say things like, oh, you’re a Lee kind of guy, you know?”
“What kind of people do you even hang around with Taehyung?” Jeongguk jokes and Taehyung sticks his tongue out.
“Come on,” Taehyung pouts. “Just guess!”
“Fine,” Jeongguk sighs, putting the bubble wrapper away to stare at Taehyung. Jeongguk looks into his eyes and swallowed. It looked like Taehyung holds the whole universe in his eyes and it’s something that Jeongguk had never seen in anyone before. He begins to scan his face again and tilts his head.
“Huh,” Jeongguk breathes out. “You do look a lot like a Lee type of guy.”
Taehyung face drops and he pouts again, making Jeongguk laugh.
“Kidding. With that beauty, you’re probably a Kim.” Jeongguk laughs again.
“I may be stupid, but I’m not blind, Taehyung.”
Jeongguk’s phone chimed, a notification from Namjoon.
“Come over, Seokjin and I bought pizza.” read Namjoon's text.
“Gimme 20 mins.” Jeongguk replies immediately.
“K. C u l8r man !” Namjoon replies again.
“Girlfriend?” Taehyung asks as Jeongguk puts his phone in the pockets of his sweater and he snorts after hearing the question.
“No, that was my friend. He invited me over for pizza.” Jeongguk explains, getting up to leave to his room as Taehyung nods. “Do you want to come with?” Jeongguk shouts from his room.
“No thanks,” Taehyung replies. “I got things to do.”
Jeongguk steps out of the room wearing a new, cleaner ripped jeans and black loose t-shirt which makes Taehyung have a hard time to stop staring.
“Are you sure? They’re really chill if that’s what you’re worried about?”
“No,” Taehyung reassures him. “I have stuff to do. I’ll be fine.”
Jeongguk smiles at him and nods. “My number’s somewhere in my room, I don’t remember where but if you need anything just call me, yeah?”
Taehyung replies with a soft ‘okay’ and watches as Jeongguk leave the dorm.
He slumps himself onto the couch and pulls out his phone. Is it too early to call him? But Taehyung misses him so much. Will he be bothering him? But Taehyung misses his voice and smile and face.
“Fuck it,” Taehyung curses out as he hits the video button on the contacts and listens as it dials.
“Hey, baby.” Taehyung smiles.
Jeongguk knocks softly on the door, other hand holding a big bottle of Coke. The smell of pizza made its way out the door and it makes Jeongguk’s tummy rumble and it reminds him that he has not eaten anything since he arrived this morning.
The door opens to a cheery looking Seokjin in a yellow sweater, greeting the younger enthusiastically. “Gguk! You made it!” he chimes, pulling Jeongguk into a tight embrace. “We didn’t see you at all during summer, where did you go man?”
“Away,” Jeongguk replies. “I have a folio that needs to be updated, you know.”
Namjoon comes in the room from the toilet. He was wearing a cap, a white tee and shorts. He takes a look at Seokjin and gives the older a smile before giving him a peck on the lips.
“Get a room, loser,” Jeongguk jokes making the both of them laugh. “Remember, if you need a photographer for your wedding I’m right here man.”
“We’ll keep that in mind, Jeongguk.” Namjoon laughs, patting his back.
The three of them were just hanging around getting comfortable when Jimin walks in, followed by a guy with mint hair, and surprising a little shorter than Jimin himself. His lips were sealed tight, but then he smiles and all his features softens.
“Hey guys, sorry we’re late. Got caught up at the dorms.” Jimin explained, hair messy and lips busted.
“I see you were very caught up Jimin.” Jeongguk says sarcastically, making both Namjoon and Seokjin laugh.
“Yeah, you’re not really good at lying,” says Namjoon.
“Or hiding your wild hour,” Seokjin continues.
Jimin rolls his eyes. “So we had sex so what? Leave us alone.”
“Calm down tiny pepper,” Namjoon jokes again and the whole room erupts in laughter.
Being in a room with a couple is fine for Jeongguk. Really, he’s fine with it. He’s used to thirdwheel Seokjin and Namjoon. But right now, being surrounded by two couples, it kind of makes him feel bad for himself. Jeongguk’s not much of a lover, but he could really use someone to cuddle while he watches this stupid romantic movie he’s watching with these guys.
Jeongguk sighs and slumps down deeper in the couch, hands crossed. For some reason, he wishes Taehyung was here with him. He wishes he could cuddle Taehyung.
The room is quiet without Jungsoo’s tiny giggles. Without the little boy running around, calling out to Taehyung.
The room is very quiet, and Taehyung’s not used to the silence.
He decides to take out his sketchbook. He sharpens his pencil and does what he does best.
Being an art major is not a problem for Taehyung. It’s in his blood. It’s what he does best. So really, drawing is nothing to him.
Though he does have a problem with what to draw. Often, he draws sceneries – skies, trees, flowers – but now, with the birth of his son, he has troubles drawing something else other than the little boy.
He has every single one of Jungsoo’s emotion drawn. But nothing brings him pleasure than seeing his son with his own eyes.
Taehyung had Jungsoo when he was 18. It was truly unexpected and his girlfriend wanted nothing to do with the baby. He was lost, he doesn’t know what to do or how to take care of Jungsoo. A few months later, his girlfriend decided to split up with him, leaving him and Jungsoo which makes him move back to Daegu to live with his grandmother.
Taehyung had absolutely nothing and he had to do three different jobs just to make sure that Jungsoo had something to eat, even if he had nothing to eat himself.
One would think about how much of a burden having a kid is. But not Taehyung. He loved every second of taking care of Jungsoo. He has been there when he said his first words, when he first crawled, when he first walked. He was there through it all.
Having to leave his son for college really wasn’t the best thing he had ever done, but he assures himself that with the help of technology, he can still feel close to him, even though they are miles and miles apart.
So Taehyung calls Jungsoo every time he can. From the moment he wakes up, when he has lunch, before he goes to bed, he makes sure that he has his daily dose of Jungsoo.
“Daddy is going to call you later at night, okay Jungsoo?” Taehyung says. “Make sure to study well, and please don’t bother grandma so much yeah?”
He hears a chuckle from the other line and his heart flips.
“Daddy misses you so much baby, but I’ll be home soon okay? I love you Jungsoo, I love you so much.”
“I love you more daddy!” the little one chimes happily and that was enough, to make tears roll down his cheeks.
He turns his phone off and puts on some jazz music. And he lets his hands dance on the paper, drawing yet another picture of his smiling son.
It’s the third week of classes, meaning that they are nearing a crazy and hectic week. Taehyung has been staying up, tearing paper after paper and Jeongguk had never seen anyone this stress. Though Jeongguk double majors in photography and dance, he doesn’t have to deal with as many things as Taehyung does. For once, he made a wise choice.
Jeongguk comes home late one night after having yet another guys night with Namjoon, Seokjin, Yoongi and Jimin.
As he walks in, he can hear a faint jazz music, meaning that Taehyung must be drawing something. He had learned his habits by now. The room is also dimmed and when he walks towards the couch, he is met with Taehyung’s body curled in it, breathing steadily. Jeongguk smiles at this. He goes into his room to take a blanket and covers Taehyung with it, studying his face and all his features. With the amount of staring Jeongguk does, he actually does have memorized every one of Taehyung’s features. The positions of his moles, the shape of his lips, the way his lashes slightly touches his cheeks. Jeongguk memorized it all.
Jeongguk has captured every single beauty nature has to offer. He has captured every single breath-taking sceneries. He has captured every single unique building.
But none of them compares to the beauty that is Kim Taehyung.
His eyes now wander to the scattered mess on the table. There are papers and art tools everywhere and Jeongguk can’t help but stare at the one portrait Taehyung had drawn.
It was of a little boy. All the features of the boy is drawn perfectly. From the shape of his eyes, the tip of his nose, the curve of his lips. All the qualities are so perfect. The portrait almost feels real. Now that he thinks about it, Jeongguk had seen this portrait of the same boy so many times and he wonders who this boy could be. It resembles Taehyung a little, but not too much to be his little brother. It could be a character he created, but the features are so strong and well drawn, it felt too real.
Taehyung stirs in his sleep, surprising Jeongguk.
“Jeongguk?” Taehyung whispers, voice hoarse from sleep.
“Yeah, hey, I didn’t mean to wake you up.”
“No,” Taehyung replies immediately. “You didn’t wake me up.”
“Well,” Jeongguk says, getting up and Taehyung’s eyes never leave him. “Goodnight then,”
Before Jeongguk could walk away, Taehyung catches his wrist, stopping him. Jeongguk turns around slowly and his heart flutters. Taehyung looks so small and vulnerable. He looks so broken, as if begging for Jeongguk to fix him.
“Please stay with me,” Taehyung softly begs. “Stay here with me.”
So Jeongguk stays.
He slips on the small couch, hoping to fit. But Taehyung has an idea on how to make sure just how they could both fit on it. When Jeongguk sits, he puts his head comfortably on Jeongguk’s lap and Jeongguk, unsure of what to do, just pats his shoulder awkwardly.
“You know what you can do which will make this less weird?” Taehyung suggests and Jeongguk lets out a relieved sigh.
“Please,” he laughs. “I have no idea what the fuck I’m doing.”
“You can run your hand in my hair.”
Jeongguk stops patting and stares at Taehyung. “Run my hand.. in your hair?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung calmly says. “It makes me feel safe. Please do that.”
And Jeongguk did. Jeongguk runs his hands in Taehyung’s hair, softly, and slowly and Taehyung’s eyes closes as the darkness sucks him in, pulling him in a deep sleep.
Not long after, Jeongguk falls asleep with him.
None of them said a word the next day, and it’s not awkward either. It felt right. And they both know how right it felt.
The week after, Namjoon invites Jeongguk for game night and this time, Taehyung did not decline.
“You’re gonnna love Namjoon. He’s really smart.” Jeongguk says, making his way quickly to Namjoon and Seokjin’s dorm.
“And Seokjin is?”
“His lover since high school,” Jeongguk smiles. “I’ve been through it all. The gross stage, the stressful stage, the “Oh my fucking God Jeongguk I’m in love with him!” stage.”
Taehyung laughs softly and Jeongguk smiles.
Jeongguk opens the door to the dorms and the smell of Chinese take out fill the air around the room.
“Jeonggukie! Oh, is this the famous Taehyung?” Seokjin asks, cheerful as ever.
“Yes, this is Taehyung.” Jeongguk cuts off. “Taehyung this is Seokjin and that over there over the computer is Namjoon.”
Namjoon just puts his hand up as a sign of hello and his other hand is on the keyboard.
“He’s finishing one of his lab reports,” Seokjin says and Taehyung just nods.
“Tae, come here,” Jeongguk calls out to him from the couch. “Let’s play Mario kart.”
“I don’t think I know how to play Mario kart, Jeongguk.” Taehyung grimaces, hugging himself.
“Come on, I’ll teach you. Hurry!”
Taehyung sighs but he complies to Jeongguk and sits next to him, grabbing the other controller with his eyebrows furrowed trying to figure out how the fuck this works.
“They look cute together don’t they Joon?” Seokjin smiles.
“Yeah,” Namjoon agrees. “I have never seen Jeongguk’s eyes shine that bright looking at someone before.”
“Boy is he whipped.”
Two months has passed by in a flash and Jeongguk and Taehyung find themselves getting closer together.
After every study dates, every off campus adventure, every Mario kart games, there was no doubt that Taehyung and Jeongguk are getting closer.
Friday night is the only night where they are both free so they decide to have movie nights every Friday. Tonight, after many, many disapprovals from Taehyung, they put on Paranormal Activity. And this is definitely not Taehyung’s cup of tea because he hates ghosts and Jeongguk knows this. But Jeongguk reassures him that his thoughts on ghosts are going to “change” after tonight.
One of the scare-jump scenes came out and it made Taehyung to jump into his arms. Jeongguk did not think this through. He definitely did not expect Taehyung to be in his arms. He did not expect he’d be holding Taehyung this way. It’s been two months since they became roommates, and this is the closest they have ever been with each other.
And from that very moment he knew that his feelings for Taehyung are definitely different. And Jeongguk does not how to deal with feelings.
One night, after three failed attempts of making spaghetti, Jeongguk decided to just order chicken instead so he and Taehyung had an almost romantic dinner, candles and all.
“So Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, wiping his mouth with the tissue. “What’s the occasion? Candles, burnt spaghetti in the trash and all?”
“Don’t judge my cooking skills okay,” Jeongguk sighs. “I was really nervous about cooking for you.”
“Jeongguk you cook for me all the time.”
“Yeah but this one’s different.”
Taehyung raises his brows. “How can it be different?”
“I don’t know,” Jeongguk shrugs, poking his chicken. “Just kind of feels different, you know?”
“Yeah,” Taehyung smiles. “It’s good different though right?”
Jeongguk looks into Taehyung’s eyes, scanning Taehyung’s beautiful face again.
“I’ll never get tired of seeing your beautiful face everyday, Taehyung.”
It was sudden, and definitely took Taehyung by surprise. It took Jeongguk by surprise too.
Jeongguk clears his throat and turns his attention to across the room, the couch looking even more interesting than his own embarrassment right now. Jeongguk was saved by Taehyung’s ringing cell phone which he is quick to get. Without saying anything else, Taehyung just leaves the room. His face lighting up like Jeongguk has never seen before and that made Jeongguk feel weird.
Who could’ve made Taehyung that excited?
Jeongguk never meddles in anyone’s business. Simply because he really doesn’t care about people.
But this is Taehyung, and he cares a lot about Taehyung.
He decides to walk towards Taehyung’s closed bedroom door and pressed his ears against the door. Taehyung’s voice was muffled but nonetheless, he still understands what was going on.
“I know baby,” Taehyung says.
Baby. Why did that hurt Jeongguk?
“Daddy will be home soon okay? Please take care of yourself.”
Well, that was enough eavesdropping for Jeongguk today. Jeongguk stares at the door in disbelief and scoffs, taking his jacket as he storms out of the dorms.
See Jeongguk is good at a number of things. He’s good at drawing, he’s good at taking pictures, he’s an absolutely good friend.
And there is one more thing Jeongguk is good at.
He’s good at running. Running away from his problems instead of actually solving them, so that is why he’s running away from Taehyung. He doesn’t know where he’s going but one thing’s for sure - he’s going to run.
Taehyung walks out of the room only to be met with an empty space. His eyes search for Jeongguk, even went to his bedroom but there was no sign of him. This is unusual for Jeongguk because he would always tell Taehyung where he goes.
Taehyung can’t help but feel the weird turn in his stomach, but he pays it no mind. So he just cleans the table and goes to bed, in hopes that Jeongguk will come into his room that night to slip in bed with him.
But that night never came.
It’s been days, and there was still no sign of Jeongguk and Taehyung was getting tired of waiting. He went to his lectures but there is no use since they’re reaching the end of the semester meaning that Jeongguk’s classes have already ended. He went to all of Jeongguk’s hiding spots, but no avail. He even goes over to Namjoon and Seokjin’s but they have reassure him that he has not seen Jeongguk at all.
“Is he gone?” Jeongguk asks, peaking his head from the curtain.
“Yeah,” Seokjin replies.
Namjoon crosses his arms, definitely not amused by Jeongguk’s behaviour.
”Jeongguk what the fuck are you actually doing?” Namjoon says sternly making Jeongguk sigh.
“Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
“Why are you avoiding Taehyung?”
“I’m not avoiding him,”
“Bullshit,” Seokjin spits out. He takes a deep breath before talking again, calmly this time. “You can tell me and Namjoon. We’re here to listen.”
Jeongguk moves away from the curtain and walks towards the couch. Biting his lips, he sits down on the couch, eyes glued on the floor.
“I think Taehyung has someone else,” Jeongguk whispers slowly. Namjoon turns to look at Seokjin who gives him the same look. “I was going to tell him how I feel, but I guess that’s never going to happen.”
“You can just tell him you know,” Seokjin suggests, slowly he makes his way to sit next to Jeongguk.
“I don’t know hyung,” Jeongguk replies. “He looks so happy when he got that call, he must really love this person.”
“So what are you going to do?” Namjoon asks and Jeongguk looks up to him, eyes losing the sparkle that he used to have.
“I’ll just run.” He shrugs.
Every human being have their own limit. Taehyung, in this case, has definitely reached his limit. He got tired of waiting, of trying. He doesn’t know what he did wrong, but every time he tries to talk to Jeongguk, he only gets a cold shoulder in return.
On Friday, Taehyung put on Jeongguk’s favourite movie, The Notebook. He put special pillows on the couch, Taehyung’s bunny plush that Jeongguk loves so much to the point he steals it sometimes. Taehyung even lit a bunch of candles, scented with Jeongguk’s favourite smell, but it didn’t work. Jeongguk just stays in his room, only going out when he’s sure Taehyung will not see him.
It breaks Taehyung’s heart really, at how bad Jeongguk wants to avoid him and he has thought of so many reasons as to why Jeongguk is doing him like this, but he’s so unsure himself. Taehyung felt so lost and after many, many years, he felt heartbroken again.
Taehyung decides to just distract himself from thinking about Jeongguk. He’s been doing so many things but it all just brings him back to memories of Jeongguk.
He decides to draw, letting his feelings flow through the movement of his hands and once he’s done with the drawing, he was shocked to see Jeongguk on the canvas, smiling wide, eyes turning crescent.
Taehyung knew when this exact moment was. It was the night he went to Namjoon and Seokjin’s. Jeongguk was drinking, talking to Seokjin and he was laughing so hard at whatever he was saying and Taehyung had never seen him this happy that he decided to take a mental picture of his smile, of his shiny doe eyes that aren’t visible because he has it closed from laughing too much.
Taehyung didn’t know that the exact picture could be transferred into something he mindlessly drew.
He tried drawing something else but every time he does it, he keeps on accidentally drawing Jeongguk’s smile.
And that was the moment Taehyung realized that he is in deep.
The ringing of his cell phone brought him back to life and almost immediately, he smiles widely upon seeing the name of his son. He waits for his son’s face to come out and when it did, his heart aches.
He misses his little boy so much.
“Hello daddy!” the little boy chimes happily, making Taehyung’s smile turn even wider than before.
“Hello Jungsoo, how’s daddy’s little boy?”
“I’m great! Nanna bought me a new toy today.” The little boy says excitedly.
“Yeah? What did she get you?”
“An Iron Man toy! I love Iron Man.” Taehyung smiles because he knows that there is one more person who loves Iron Man and that boy is-
“Are you okay, daddy?” Jungsoo asks, head tilting as he stares at his father, worry filling his eyes. Jungsoo may be 5 years old, but his heart is pure of gold. He cares about everyone around him so much. The moment he sees your worried face, he won’t stop asking about what’s wrong with you until you tell him everything. But Taehyung has learned a trick about how to stop him from worrying.
“Yes, baby. I just miss you a lot.”
“You really look like you miss me a lot.”
“That’s because I do, love.”
“When are you coming back?” Jungsoo says while he plays with his action figure. “Nanna says you’re coming back next week. How many days till next week?”
“Seven days, babe.” Taehyung smiles. “I’m gonna see you again in seven days.”
Jungsoo stops playing with his figure and puts them down, staring at his father. Taehyung gulps because he knows that his son is certain that something is wrong.
“Daddy’s distracted.” Jungsoo says. “Did someone hurt you?”
“No, I just,” Taehyung sighs. “There’s this boy, Jungsoo. Daddy likes him very much. He’s really sweet and funny. He doesn’t talk a lot but you just know that he’s very smart and he likes things a certain way.”
“He’s daddy’s roommate. We were like best friends but I like him more than that Jungsoo, I really, really like him.”
“Is he daddy’s lover?”
“I wish he was, babe.” Taehyung smiles.
“Do you love him as much as you love me?”
“Don’t be ridiculous Jungsoo,” Taehyung laughs. “I can never love anyone more than I love you.”
“But this boy, it seems like you love him a lot.”
“Maybe I do.”
There was a long silence, the only sound coming was from Jungsoo’s Iron Man figure and not long after, Taehyung’s grandmother came to pick up Jungsoo, telling him that it’s time for him to sleep. They exchange goodbyes and the room is silent again. With a sigh, Taehyung leaves the living room to go into his bedroom for a goodnight’s sleep himself.
What he doesn’t know is that Jeongguk has been eavesdropping all night and the thought of Taehyung being a father warms Jeongguk’s heart so much. Jeongguk certainly loves the idea of Taehyung being a father. He always knew Taehyung will be a great father one day, but he definitely doesn’t expect Taehyung to actually be one at the age of 23. Taehyung adores children, this Jeongguk knows and he has always adored the way Taehyung is always so fond with children, it makes Jeongguk smile all the time.
As happy as Jeongguk is right now, knowing that Taehyung has feelings for him, he can’t help but feel guilty about the way he has been treating Taehyung for the last week. He felt like shit, he felt like an absolute jerk about it.
“I need to fix this shit,” Jeongguk tells himself.
Taehyung comes home late that night, having to stay back to fix a few of his drawings for his project and he wasn’t aware of the time till a guard asked him to leave. He was exhausted, head filled with worries about Jeongguk and Jeongguk only.
When he opens the door, he was shocked to see the room dimly lit, smell of pizza filling the room,
making his stomach growl. A pillow fort was made and Taehyung can’t help but smile. On the tv, Jeongguk’s favourite anime was paused. Taehyung however, just sighed. Jeongguk probably has someone over since this is exactly how he describe how his first date would be. Before he could make his way to his room, someone grabbed him from behind and gave him a tight hug. This someone smells a lot like Jeongguk.
“You’re finally home,” Jeongguk whispers in his ears, chin on Taehyung’s shoulder.
“Jeongguk, what’s going on?”
“It’s a little something I did, to apologize for my behaviour this past week.”
“So you’re aware of what you did?”
“I’m very aware, yes,” Jeongguk replies, embarrassed. “And I just want to say I’m sorry, for like, not explaining to you why I did what I did.”
Taehyung frees himself from Jeongguk’s grip slowly and he turns around to face the younger. He takes Jeongguk’s hands and holds it tight, caressing it with his thumb.
“Now, do you mind telling me what happened?”
“Let’s watch the movie first. I put on Your Name for a reason you know.” Jeongguk replies, making Taehyung roll his eyes in annoyance.
Halfway through the movie, Taehyung rests his head on Jeongguk’s shoulder, exhaustion taking him over. Taehyung silently doze off, making Jeongguk clear his throat.
“Remember our dinner night?” Jeongguk speaks softly. “When I stormed off? I ran away. Because I don’t know how to deal with my feelings. For the first time, I felt possessive. I felt jealous. Jealous because of you. I freaked out, not knowing exactly why I was so mad. Why I was so pissed off. But then I talked to Namjoon and Seokjin, they gave me a mouthful. But I guess, yeah, I am jealous. I heard you call someone baby on the phone and you sounded so happy. And I felt so useless because for as long as we’ve been friends, I have never made you that happy. I’m sorry I stormed off, making you even more upset. I’m sorry I chose to ignore you, it was stupid of me, I know but I miss you every day. I miss my best friend. I miss my other half, I miss my soulmate. And I’m so glad you’re asleep right now because I can never say these sappy shit in front of you.”
Taehyung started giggling, surprising Jeongguk.
“Taehyung?” Jeongguk growls.
“The whole time,” Taehyung laughs. “You’re such a sap for someone who doesn’t know how to deal with his feelings.”
Jeongguk takes a deep breath and moves Taehyung’s head away from his shoulder, making the older confuse. He cracks the bones of his fingers and starts attacking Taehyung with tickles, pining Taehyung down and laugh along with him and Jeongguk thinks to himself that he can definitely get used to this every day.
Jeongguk is on top of Taehyung right now, holding both of Taehyung’s hands down, their faces inches apart. Taehyung could feel Jeongguk’s warm breath on his lips. His heart is pounding in his chest and so did Jeongguk’s. They stay like that for a while until Taehyung’s phone rang and Jeongguk scramble from on top of him.
Taehyung tries to steady his breathing and fixes his hair before answering the call in his room, leaving Jeongguk and his rapid heartbeat alone.
He will have to figure out what to do with the feelings he has for Taehyung soon.
They were sitting in their favourite fast food restaurant after being in the library for the whole day. Semester break is coming soon, meaning that the week before will be very hectic for them. Assignment on top of assignment, Jeongguk and Taehyung barely had time to breath and this is their first dinner together in days.
They were halfway done with their food when Taehyung speaks. “You know who I called baby that night?”
Jeongguk stops chewing to look at Taehyung. Lying, he shakes his head and continues chewing as he waits for Taehyung to continue talking. He didn’t want Taehyung to know that he has been eavesdropping most of the conversations he has with his son.
“8 years ago,” Taehyung starts. “I was in love. Very in love. I met this girl in high school, and she was perfect. She had perfect grades, perfect look, she is very beautiful indeed, and my parents really liked her too. She had the whole world, including me, on our knees for her.”
“It was prom night, we thought that this will be a symbol of our love for each other. We’ve been with each other for so long, we thought that this will make it even more special you know? So we both agreed to finally do it. We wore protection, I was certain I did, but somehow, you know it didn’t work.”
Jeongguk sips on his drink, while watching Taehyung intently.
“2 months later, she found out that she was pregnant. We didn’t know what to do. She wanted to let Jungsoo go, but I couldn’t do it. So I begged her to keep him. Best decision I’ve ever made, to be really honest.” Taehyung takes a deep breath before continuing, “He really changed my life. I lost everything. I lost my parent’s trust, I lost all my savings just to take care of his mother and in the end I lost her. But when Jungsoo came into my life, I don’t care about what I’ve lost, because in the end I have gained something so, so beautiful and precious.”
“So who takes care of Jungsoo now?” Jeongguk asks, voice careful.
“He’s with my Nanna, the only person who accepts and loves us.”
Jeongguk nods slowly at this, unable to imagine the pain and hardship that Taehyung has to go through at such a young age.
“You’re very strong,” Jeongguk finally says and Taehyung perks up to look at him. “You’re the strongest person I know and Jungsoo is very lucky to have you in his life. To be able to grow up with a love that is so strong from you. A single father who had nothing but is still able to take good care of him.”
Taehyung blushes at this, playing with the straw of his drink. “I don’t know about that,”
“I’m serious,” Jeongguk says sternly. “I know for a fact that if I have a father like you; a person who doesn’t give up on me, who believes in me from the very beginning, who tries his best to give me anything and everything. I will be the luckiest person if I have you in my life Taehyung.”
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung breathes out. Jeongguk lets out a “hmm” and Taehyung smiles at him. “Do you want to meet Jungsoo?”
“You ready?” Taehyung says, knocking softly on his door.
Jeongguk looks at him, face filled with stress and worry. “I don’t know if I am.”
Taehyung laughs softly and makes his way inside Jeongguk’s room. It’s clean and smells a lot like flowers. It’s the kind of room that gives you a lot of comfort. Jeongguk has a lot of pictures decorated on the walls of his rooms, mostly pictures he took. There is a picture of him, Namjoon and Seokjin framed on his study table and Taehyung smiles every time he looks at it. His bed is neatly arranged with Taehyung’s bunny in the middle of it. The night Taehyung gave him it, Jeongguk didn’t hesitate to take it to his room. His camera is put nicely on the table, and it seems like he’s going to pack it to bring it along with him to Daegu.
“You’re gonna be fine,” Taehyung says sitting on the edge of Jeongguk’s bed. “We’re just going to be there for a week.”
“I don’t know what to bring!” Jeongguk whines, clearly frustrated.
“Just bring a few clothes, if you’re out of them you can borrow anything of mine.”
Jeongguk looks at him and smiles. “You’re the best.”
“Just don’t forget your camera.”
“You know I won’t. I have a very important project I need to do.” Jeongguk smiles.
Their 3-hour trip was filled with Jeongguk taking a video of everything he laid his eyes on and their constant jokes about people. They share Jeongguk’s playlist which is just a mix of Lauv, Khalid and Troye Sivan, but it keeps them entertained for the whole 3 hours.
Taehyung takes a deep breath in once they arrived in Daegu, the familiar scenery brings him comfort and Jeongguk doesn’t miss the way his face lights up once they arrive. In fact, Jeongguk isn’t able to focus on the other scenery around him because his eyes are fixed on Taehyung the whole time.
Taehyung knocks on the door and waits excitedly outside and a minute later, a little boy - Jeongguk recognizes him as Jungsoo because he remembers all the sketches Taehyung makes – springing into Taehyung’s arms and he twirls him around, all the while they both laugh loudly, warming Jeongguk’s heart.
“How are you today, superhero?” Taehyung asks him as he sets the little boy down.
“I’m good!” Jungsoo answers happily. “I keep asking Nanna what time it is so I can open the door for daddy!”
Taehyung smiles widely, ruffling Jungsoo’s hair.
“Jungsoo this is Jeongguk. He is daddy’s friend.”
Jungsoo looks up at Jeongguk tilting his head and before he knows it, Jungsoo is hugging him very tightly, surprising both Taehyung and Jeongguk.
“Whoa, tiger,” Jeongguk laughs.
“Hello Jungoo, I am Jungsoo.”
Jeongguk laughs lightly upon hearing his name. “Jungoo,” Jeongguk repeats. “I like that.”
Taehyung’s grandmother made a special lunch for all of them and she is very fond of Jeongguk. While Jeongguk helps with the dishes, Taehyung’s grandmother keep gushing about Jeongguk.
“He’s a really sweet boy,” his grandmother says. “and Jungsoo is very fond of him, too.”
“I know Ma,” Taehyung replies. “and Jungsoo doesn’t go along with just anyone. He liked Jeongguk from the moment he set eyes on him.”
“Maybe there’s something about him. Maybe he’s the one.”
Upon hearing those words, Taehyung turns to look at Jeongguk. He was at the sink doing the dishes with Jungsoo by his side. They were joking about something and the next thing he knew, Jeongguk put bubbles on Jungsoo’s nose, making the little boy laugh even more louder.
“Yeah,” Taehyung smiles, heart warm. “Maybe he is the one, Ma.”
When night came, Jungsoo was already in bed with Taehyung. He was reading Jungsoo a story book when there was a knock on the door.
“Come in,” Jungsoo says.
When Jeongguk peaks in, Jungsoo smiles widely. “Jungoo!” he exclaims.
“I was just coming in to say goodnight to my favourite superhero,” Jeongguk says.
“Sleep with us Jungoo!” Jungsoo suggests, making Jeongguk and Taehyung blush. “Please Jungoo, I want to sleep with you.” He pouts.
“I will, if your daddy is fine with it,” Jeongguk says shyly, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice.
“Daddy can Jungoo please, please sleep with us tonight?” Jungsoo is pouting again, intertwining his tiny hands in a begging way.
“Of course,” Taehyung smiles. “Yes. Jungoo can sleep with us.”
Jeongguk’s face lights up. Containing his smile, he coughs and slowly makes his way towards the bed where Jungsoo is making space for his Jungoo to climb into.
When they’re in the bed together, Jungsoo smiles a contented smile. “I’m so happy,” says the little boy.
And for once, Jeongguk and Taehyung both felt really complete. Being there, the three of them together. It felt like they have found yet another missing puzzle piece. A piece that brings Taehyung and Jeongguk together. And that piece is Jungsoo.
For the rest of the week, they have done a lot of things together.
On Tuesday, Jeongguk surprised Jungsoo with a brand new bike making the little boy jump in joy. Jeongguk spent the entire day helping him out with his bike. Jungsoo earned a few cuts and before Taehyung could give him a mouthful, he’s saying things like, “this is a new experience daddy! And these cuts will remind me of the day Jungoo helps me ride a bike. I hope this cut will stay for a long time so I can tell everyone about my first time biking with Jungoo!” and in the end? Taehyung just ends up crying proud tears.
On Wednesday, Taehyung had prepared a special picnic for the three of them. They walked up the hill and halfway through, Jungsoo got tired so Jeongguk gave him a piggy ride up to the top of the hill. They spent all evening together. As the sun sets, Jungsoo asked a very unexpected question that took both Jeongguk and Taehyung by surprise.
“Can I call Jeonggukie dad too?”
Taehyung and Jeongguk looked at each other for a while exchanging a knowing look and with a soft smile, Taehyung replies. “Yes, of course you can, baby.”
Thursday came and today, it rained again. Jeongguk had everything planned out, though. He took out his laptop and put on Toy Story for them to watch together. Jeongguk, Jungsoo and Taehyung all sat closely on the small couch, marathoning Toy Story all day and before they know it, Jungsoo fell asleep on top of the two of them.
“This is nice,” Jeongguk says, running his hand in Jungsoo’s hair. “I really love spending time with him. And with your grandmother.”
“I did too,” Taehyung says. “I still can’t believe how fond Jungsoo is of you. He really doesn’t like people that much.”
“What can I say? I’m a charm.” Jeongguk jokes, earning a pinch from Taehyung.
When Jungsoo fell asleep, Taehyung took the opportunity to have some time alone with Jeongguk. That is why, their last night in Daegu, Taehyung had brought Jeongguk up on the rooftop where they are accompanied by millions of stars watching over them.
They sit in silence for a while, enjoying the way the soft midnight wind blows and the soft sounds of nature all around them.
“I had a really amazing time here,” Jeongguk says, breaking the silence.
“Jeongguk,” Taehyung laughs. “You told me that today. And yesterday, too.”
“Well it’s because I enjoy every single second I spend here.” Jeongguk says, eyes set up to the sky. “I’m always in the city, it’s suffocating. And I’m always around my friends who don’t understand me, who don’t make me happy. But, being here this week,” Jeongguk pauses to turn to look at Taehyung. “It made me realize that no one can make me happy the way you and Jungsoo do. No one can be as good as a friend to me as you and Jungsoo do.”
There’s that word again.
Taehyung smiles at Jeongguk, not knowing what to say.
“This is the happiest I have ever seen Jungsoo.” Taehyung softly says. “He’s always been jealous of other kids because they had two parents. But Jungsoo only had me and his grandmother.”
“It’s not that he’s not at all happy, no. But I know, deep down inside, he really wants to have two parents. And seeing him asking me the other day, whether he can call you dad really,” Taehyung’s voice starts to break. “It really warms my heart. Because I know that he is finally happy. And I want to tell you how incredibly thankful I am for you Jeongguk. For being so kind, so loving to him. And it makes me even more happy to see how much he loves you and how much you love him. It’s something that Jungsoo has been lacking all these while, but now, thanks to you, it’s as if he’s finally complete.”
Jeongguk pulls Taehyung in a tight embrace while the older cries into his arms. Jeongguk starts stroking the back of his head and plants it a soft kiss.
“I’m here for you, Taehyung. I’m here for you and Jungsoo. I won’t leave.”
Taehyung and Jeongguk slip in the bed slowly, careful not to wake the younger up and softly, the both wrap their arms around them as they fall into a deep, happy slumber.
The end of semester break came in no time, making both Taehyung and Jeongguk unhappy because they had to say goodbye to Jungsoo.
“Daddy will call you as often as usual okay, baby? And in two weeks, daddy will come back.” Taehyung reassures him.
“Will dad come back too?” Jungsoo asks, pouting at Jeongguk.
“I will think about it, okay? But I’ll try my best to visit you.”
Jungsoo nods slowly and Jeongguk pulls him into a tight hug, kissing the top of his head and then ruffling it.
“I’ll see you soon, hero.” Jeongguk smiles, kissing his cheeks.
“I’ll see you soon, too dad.”
Jungsoo turns to Taehyung who holds him tight, not wanting to let go. Taehyung wipes the tears on his cheeks and gives a kiss on both Jungsoo’s cheeks.
“I love you very, very much. Be a good boy always okay? And daddy will come back with dad.”
The train announces its departure and it’s time for both Jeongguk and Taehyung to say their goodbye. With a heavy heart, Taehyung looks out the window to see his soon in his grandmother’s arms, waving him goodbye.
“So,” Seokjin speaks before sipping his hot coffee. “How was Daegu?”
“God, it was amazing, hyung.” Jeongguk exclaims. “It’s really peaceful there, unlike the city at all.”
“How about Taehyung’s son? Did you meet the little boy?” Namjoon asks, spooning his cheesecake.
“Oh god, yes. Jungsoo is absolutely amazing. He’s really smart and beautiful. Much like Taehyung. Very soft spoken and easy going. He even called me dad.”
Namjoon and Seokjin both stopped chewing to stare at Jeongguk.
“He called you? Dad?” Seokjin asks.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk breathes out. “It’s weird I know, but, for some reason it just feels so right, you know?”
“And Taehyung’s okay with that?” asks Namjoon, still holding his spoon inches away from his mouth.
“Yeah,” Jeongguk smiles. “Taehyung seems really happy about it.”
“When are you confessing, then?” Namjoon asks again. “It’s almost the end of semester. When are you securing your bread?”
Jeongguk smirks at this. “I have a perfect plan for that.”
Taehyung couldn’t stop smiling at the painting he just finished. It’s for his final year project and it’s a painting of a little boy with two men, whose faces Taehyung chose not to draw as it will get too personal. The little boy however, was drawn perfectly.
It’s a drawing of Jungsoo, and the two faceless men being him and Jeongguk.
Ever since they came back from the trip to Daegu, Taehyung can’t stop thinking about how nice it will be to have a small family. Exactly like this painting. Just him, Jeongguk and Jungsoo, together. He imagines them riding their bikes into the sunset, having endless stories that they tell each other, being happy together. Just the thought of it brings Taehyung close to tears.
The happiness that he feels in that one week is definitely irreplaceable and he’s never letting a moment be forgotten.
So he draws them. He drew the sunset, he drew the hill, he drew the stars that he and Jeongguk watched together that night.
But the drawing that he is most proud of is the drawing of the three of them together, Jeongguk and Taehyung sat on the couch, with little Jungsoo sprawled on them. It’s a sight that Taehyung will never ever forget.
All that’s left is for Taehyung to name the painting.
With a big smile on his face, he clicks his pen and turns the painting around.
“Family.” He writes.
As soon as he put the pen down, he got a call from Jeongguk.
“Hello?” he answers.
“Hey, meet me in the football field as soon as you can.”
Taehyung furrows his brows. “But it’s late.”
“I know, so hurry.”
Before he could say anything else, Jeongguk hung up. He stared at his phone for a good minute before taking his jacket and storm out of the dorm, running to the football field.
As Taehyung gets closer to the field, he sees Jeongguk standing in the middle of it, surrounded by yellow roses – Taehyung’s favourite roses according to Jungsoo – and Jeongguk’s speaker was playing one of Taehyung’s favourite jazz song as well.
Taehyung takes slow steps towards Jeongguk, clearly confused.
“Jeongguk what’s going on?” he asks, heart racing in his chest it feels like it’s going to jump out of him really soon.
“Taehyung, I suck at this please bare with me.” Jeongguk says, laughing nervously. “For the past months, you have been such an amazing friend to me, Taehyung. Even though I was a dick to you once, but you still forgive me and still accept me for who I am.”
“Taehyung, for the past months, not only did I realize how good of a friend you are to me, but I also realize that you are such an amazing person in general. One that I learn to like, one that I learn to fall in love with. I may suck at feelings and I’ve never fallen in love before, but you, Kim Taehyung, made me believe in love. You taught me what it is, what it feels like and how it feels to love someone. I’m not certain of anything but if there is one thing I am sure of is that I love you more than anything in this world, Taehyung.”
Taehyung was speechless. He didn’t expect a confession from Jeongguk at all.
“Jeongguk, oh my god,” Taehyung cries. “From the moment I see you with Jungsoo. From the moment Jungsoo pulled you into a hug when he first met you, I know for a certain that you are the one for me Jeon Jeongguk. You have made me the happiest, and you have my little baby the happiest too, and I can’t thank you enough for everything you’ve done for me and him.”
“I don’t want to get into details but, I, have always loved you with all my heart, Jeongguk. I love you.”
Jeongguk gives him a big smile and in no time, he runs into Taehyung and holds the older as he kisses him like there is no tomorrow. He lets the kiss linger, in hopes that Taehyung could feel the love that he has for him through the kiss. It’s their first kiss and they can’t imagine doing it in any other way. In the middle of a football field, midnight air giving them chills and cheeks are stained with tears, this is a confession that they will both remember for the rest of their lives.
Jeongguk and Taehyung went back to Daegu as soon as their semester ended, spending more time with little Jungsoo and luckily enough for Jungsoo, both Jeongguk and Taehyung are there for his sixth birthday.
Jeongguk and Taehyung had set up an amazing birthday party, inviting all his friends from school. It was an hour into a party and not one of Jungsoo’s friends made it, breaking Taehyung’s heart and fueling Jeongguk’s anger.
The little one just laughs it off. “It’s okay, daddy.” He says. “I don’t care if my friends don’t come. All I need is you, dad and Nanna and it’s enough for me.”
Taehyung couldn’t contain his tears so he pulls Jungsoo into a hug and cries into his arms and Jeongguk hugged the both of them.
As they let go, Jungsoo wipes the tears from Taehyung’s cheeks. “I love you,” Jungsoo says and kisses Taehyung’s cheeks. “Did dad bring yellow roses for you when he said that?”
Taehyung sniffs and gave Jungsoo a questioning look. “How did you know that?”
“I asked dad to do that for you,” Jungsoo laughs and Taehyung turns to look at Jeongguk who pretended like he didn’t listen to their very loud conversation.
“Why don’t you open up your presents with Nanna while I go talk to dad?”
“Okay!” Jungsoo beams.
Taehyung pulls Jeongguk out of the room and gave him an amused look. “You asked for advice on how to confess to me from my son?”
“I told you I had no idea what to do, and Jungsoo knows a lot. He’s very smart what did you feed him?”
Taehyung walks towards him slowly and snakes his hands around Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk smiles and leans in, hands on Taehyung’s waist and their lips dance in sync as it meets.
They pull apart and Jeongguk gives him one last peck. “I love you, Taehyung.”
“I love you too, Jeongguk. You know that.”
“Daddy! Dad! Come take a picture!” Jungsoo shouts running towards them.
Jeongguk laughs and takes out his camera, positioning it on his tripod. He focuses in on them and as he sets the timer, he quickly runs, crouching next to Jungsoo who has a peace sign under his eye, and Jeongguk and Taehyung let out a big smile, unable to contain their happiness even in a picture.
“I love my family,” Jungsoo says as he hugs both Taehyung and Jeongguk and they both give him a kiss on both side of his cheeks.