Summer, A few days after the 4th of July
So, that happened
He’d kind of kissed Adam for some as of yet unfathomable reason. And then soundly rejected. “Like kissing my brother” Yep, that’s about sums it up. If there’s one thing deeper, darker, blackhole-y-er than a friendzone, it’s The Famzone. And Chris is officially right at the middle of it.
Chris was relieved, really. When they both kept apologizing to each other at the end of the Ortus’ barbeque. After the almost-fight and the not-freak-out thankyouverymuch and Rachel, Chris is relieved that now they can go back to normal.
(Yeah, no. Ortu’s getting married. Things are gonna change. A Nick voice chimed in)
It’s just that. That Chris had to go and realized that yeah, he kinda wanted to do it again. Right after the brother points were given. After all the trouble he’d gone to, too. Breaking off that ‘safe the whale’ guy’s gas carbine muffler so he will go to Ronnie’s and give his best friend a second chance to meet the normal gay guy. THAT was a moment of insanity. But Adam’s his best friend, Chris will do anything for him. Including taking a shot at some random gay’s vehicle. And turned out Adam’d just helped him with Rachel. Again. As if the two mishap with her name before that weren’t some kind of sign.
Chris is not gay, alright. But maybe he’s kinda bi. Or somewhere in the same vicinity on the Kinsey scale. (Sexuality is fluid, dude! Yes, Nick, thank you for your input)
And he might want to kind of kiss Adam. Again. After bailing on his friends for so long he didn’t even know Ortu was gonna propose. After Adam invited the girl he forgot the name of and never asked who chewed him out on basic human decency. After Adam saying kissing him was like kissing his brother.
(Dude, Adam doesn’t even HAVE a brother. Yes, Nick. Kindly shut up, please)
Even a dry, forceful kiss like the one they shared was enough for Chris to know that Adam’s lips are plump and soft and (Sex lips, man! I mean it NICK) and he smelled nice, warm and sweaty like the rest of them. But nice.
Yes, he’s screwed.
What’s a guy to do, when he just realizes that he maybe kinda more or less really like-like his gay friend who he’d freaked out at over a near-kiss and then reconciled?
Now it’s time to seek wisdom from a higher intuitive intellect. He just hopes Rachel won’t slap him for being insensitive this time.
Of course Chris meets up with Rachel the very day he decided he needs her. He’d always worked fast at these things. Except apparently when it comes to the person who turned his world sideways with a kiss. Rachel though, seems to already knows something was off when he called her, though he guessed she doesn’t know him enough to tell how off he actually is right now. He’s just glad it’s not Adam or Ortu or Nick. They would just jump on his back tight away. (Adam would have let you stew. Dude! Oh, how refreshing, it’s Ortu’s voice in his head this time)
Well, seems like she’s done waiting anyway. “Is something wrong?” Rachel asks kindly. And if this were last week. Fuck. If this was three days ago, before his idiotic self went and kissed his best friend, Chris would have laid it on thick, played up for sympathy and maybe score a kiss or second base. And yet, he hadn’t felt like kissing her aside from the first time they met on Adam’s birthday. And of course now is the time to realize that he only times they’d met always had something to do with Adam.
“I need your help” he blurts, shaky hands fidgeting with the craft beer bottle he’s yet to drink from since it arrived.
They were sitting perpendicularly at the same counter in the same bar they met up last time when she schooled him about the different between being a jerk and a friend. “Right”, she answered, not quite skeptically, which Chris allows because, well, he’ll admit he’s not been the most solid when it comes to her. That’s Adam’s league. “How can I help you”, she’s nice enough to ask anyway.
Chris opens his mouth, closed it, then opened again, but no sound comes out for a while. Rachel, awesome as she ism waited patiently for him to get his shit together. “I’m not gay”, he finally blabs out again. Friggin’ smooth, Chris. Oh, look, Rachel is giving you the sarcastic eyebrows! Her face clouding almost like before she walked out on him at this very same bar last time.
Gulping, Chris rushes to explain. “Fuck. No. That came out wrong. I mean—I. I’m not gay. I don’t like guys like that but. But, at Ortu. You know, barbeque, fireworks, 4th of July? Yeah, that night I—I kissed Adam. And nowIthinkIlikeditmorethanhedid.
“Run that by me again? Slowly, this time” the woman finally perks up with some interests. “You know what I said” Chris pouts. He’s not saying that again. Ever. “I really liked kissing Adam”
“Right” Rachel clears her throat and shifts in her seat as if changing gear, “so you kissed a man and liked it but you are not gay. Alright”
“I didn’t kiss a man. I kiss Adam!” He hisses, then groans, palming his own face with both hands. “Gawwwwd. I kissed Adam and he didn’t even like it! Rachel, what do I do?”
“What do you mean? What did he say?” She fires back, all serious now. “Details, Chris. From the beginning, how did you kiss him, how did he react, what exactly did he say. But more importantly—” She leans closer meaning fully, “why did you kiss him?”
A sixty-four million dollars question right there. Why did he kiss Adam? To prove a point? Yes. But what point? Adam was getting flustered and kept apologizing, blaming himself for the almost-kiss. Which made Chris hated the fact that it was just almost and they were both this broken up over it. Did crazy things to make up for it (or at least Chris did). Then, suddenly, he didn’t want it to be just an ‘almost’ anymore. And Adam, Adam was right there, slowly losing his shit blaming himself for Chris’ freak-out. He didn’t want Adam to feel like that anymore. So he acted on instinct.
His instinct just chose to lay a big one on Adam’s moist, plump mouth.
Fuuuuck. Even his inner monologue is weird about it.
“Well?” Rachel’s probing startles him out of the slippery slope that is one’s inner high-school girl mentality. Chris gulps dryly and drinks up half the microbrew bottle to lubricate his throat and mouth and everything else, really. “I just—. He was babbling. Apologizing, really. And I just. Just really wanted to kiss him. So I did.”
“Kiss as in Kiss—kiss, tongue and all?”
“No!” He hisses, and feels his cheeks blushing a little. Surely, it’s the alcohol. “Kiss as in smacking one on his sex mouth!”
Aaaaaand, there he goes again. This time he’ll admit he’s earned the smirk from the woman. “And how did he reacted?” She asked.
“He said it felt like kissing his brother” Chris mumbles, the memory kinda stings a little “I asked how did it feel, and he said it’s like kissing his brother. He doesn’t even have a brother”
On another thought, maybe getting drunk is a good idea.
Oh, look, an eyeroll. Careful, ma’am, your eyes will disappear into your head like that. “Why would you ask such a thing after attack-kissing someone?”, she accused, “haven’t you learned anything about sensitivity, if not consent?”
“He wouldn’t say anything!” a little defensive, but Chris tries to explain the best he could “I kissed him, and he just. You know. Paused? With eyes closed and mouth puckered and all. What did you expect me to do!? It’s either say some stupid shit or kiss him again and then where would I be?”. His grip on the bar counter was so hard his knuckles almost white out, his body taunts with distress. But Rachel, this damn cool, collected woman with balls big enough to wear a fanny pack clubbling, just shrugs.
“I dunno, in bed with Adam?”
“What!’ That nonchalant response takes him out of the near-panic to a whole other direction, “what do you—. I—. I mean—Adam. He—”. Chris gurgles.
She takes pity on him and cuts him off. Of course she did. “So let me recap. You guys had been fighting for some reason that you both thought yourselves at fault. Then when you were apologizing to each other—after doing something nice as apologies, seeing that Adam invited me to see you again—you suddenly decided, for the first time in your life, that you should kiss your best friend. Who is gay.” She’s even counting along with her fingers “instead of talking about it like adult, or freaking out and maybe bolt like some dudes, you decided to ask him how it felt to be sexually assaulted by a loved one, to which he answered ‘meh’ and now you’re upset because you wanted him to like it. Am I right so far?”
“I didn’t assault him” He squeaks. “Did I?”
“You planted one on him without permission. I would have slapped you in the mouth if you did that to me while we’re fighting”
“We weren’t. It wasn’t a fight” He protests. Maybe he needs to tell her more about what happened before that. But then she’s continuing. “Then why were you both apologizing? Speak up, I can’t hear you”.
“He almost kissed me because he thought I was about to kiss him”
Rachel went silent for a moment. Well, maybe he should’ve led with that when this conversation started, but that’s neither here nor there now. “So that’s why he tried to help you see me again weeks after your latest blunder” she not-quite asked, “you know, when you didn’t even know my name after we’ve met like, three times”
“I, um. I might’ve broken some guy’s car so he’ll go to the garage so Adam can ask him out” Chris confesses. What else could he do, really. The arch of Rachel’s brow is very impressive, though. “Right, you sound like you’re regretting that”
“Regre—. Of course! Adam’s gonna have a boyfriend now! I’m not the kind of person who try and break couple up despite what you might think of me” Chris feels a little insane just thinking about it. Adam hanging with his canoeing, whale-saving hipster boyfriend. Kissing, cuddling, fuc—. “What made you so sure ‘some guy’ will be Adam’s boyfriend? He might just not be interested” Bless her timing, Rachel interrupts his spiraling thoughts with absolutely unimpressed attitude. Folding arms and all.
“Ohmygod have you met Adam? The dude is a catch! He’s nice, he’s dependable, he’s cute, he sexy, he’s soft. He’s kind even to people who think he’s spawn of Satan, he’s drea—” Christ trails off under the knowing stare directed his way from his conversation partner. Gulping, he fidgets again with the almost-empty bottle he’s left on the counter.
“Well, then. What are you waiting for?”
He sighs. “I’d already rejected him once”
“So apologize. Or you know, talk it out. You are allowed moments of vulnerability, Chris. Freaking out because your whole worldview was being shifted in a moment of weakness is not a crime. And if he holds that over you, then you know that it’s not going to be the kind of relationship you’d want anyway. Just don’t assault him again”
“It’s not assa—” He tries to protest, but Rachel of course doesn’t let him. “Still forced intimate contact. You want to keep arguing with me about it, or are you gonna go get your man?”
He could tell that she is getting irritated with him, and briefly wondered if she has been through a similar conversation already with her own brother. Still there is that one little hurdle to the next cause of his action. “But he didn’t even like the kiss! I’ve—I’ve been brozone! Famzone!” Fuck. This was worse than being frienzoned by women. Bros are forever. Fuck, again.
“Did he tell you exactly that? That he only sees you as a brother and nothing else?”
“No?” Not in so many words. But isn’t saying that the kiss felt like kissing his brothers practically meant Adam though of them as brothers?
“Well then if you tell him you like him because of all the nice things you just ranted at me, what’s the harm in that? He would either let you down easy, or you get to be his boyfriend” How Rachel makes everything sound so reasonable is beyond him, and Chris can only stare at her, hesitant.
“But what if it becomes weird between us!?” He hisses, not wanting to suffer through the last weeks before 4th of July again.
“Chris, you guys have almost kissed once, then fell out, made up, and made out. And you’re still friends in the morning. Do you really think he’s going to push you away after all that on top of how many years you have had together as BFFs?”
Well, when you put it like that “maybe not?”
“Right” Rachel grabs his wrist, surprisingly tightly. Her other hand fishes her cellphone out of that damned fannypack. How convenient. Chris is slightly confused and thus compliant until her call connects and she starts speaking. “Hey Adam!”, her perky voice startles him and he freezes, staring at her, uncomprehending. “Yeah, thanks inviting me the other day, I had a lot of fun. Yeah. Yes. No, actually, I’m at the pub with Chris and he’s asking for you.”
Chris surges up to protest, but the hand on his wrist moves up to cover his mouth and he losses balance, almost tipping off his stool. “No. Yes. I think he’s quite drunk. Yes. Will you come get him? You know where we are? Of course you do. Right. Ten minutes. It’s ok, I’ll wait. See you soon!” Rachel’s shit-eating grin is so disarming he doesn’t even notice when her hand was back to gripping his wrist again. “Oh, you’re not going anywhere, boy.”
------ ------- ------- -------
Chris’ head is decidedly laid on his arms on top of the counter, so he didn’t see Adam arrived until Rachel greeted him, all good mood and merriment.
“Hey, Adam!” She suddenly jumps up and releases his wrist. Yep, she’s been holding it for the past ten damn minutes even when Chris promised not to run away. He hopes her hand’s sore. “Thanks for coming. He’s all yours. Have a nice night”, and she’s gone like a whirlwind, leaving Adam standing there perplexed beside Chris who doesn’t even bother looking up, just flipping a bird in her general direction using his finally freed hand.
“What just happened?” Adam askes, obviously notices that Chris is not at all drunk as was previously claimed.
Chris groans “I made a mistake”.
“You put your feet in your mount again? Tell me you didn’t forget her name” Adam half-teases, brow slightly crinkled in a little frown.
“What? No, I didn’t forget Rachel’s name. you introduced us!” Chris squeaks. Watching Adam’s face but not quite meeting he eyes.
“Weeeelll. What did you do then?”
“You talked?” Fuck. That little brow furrow’s starting to look cute. Fuuuck.
“About emotions”, there goes his suave badboy persona. Though to be fair, Adam has always known his lame ass friend better than to buy the persona. Now the confusion turns to sympathy. Shit. “She rejected you?”
A warm hand landed gently on his shoulder, and Chris thinks that that might be his undoing. The easy affection and care. The strong weight of his hand. He takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. “No, you did….I mean, I did it first, but then you did. Rejected me.
Thank god the silence was brief.
Shit. The confused puppy face is out. Must not grab him. Must not grab him. Must not grab him. “You. Fuck. I mean. Let’s get out of here first, your place.”
They are sitting awkwardly on the same sofa where it all began. Or Chris is sitting awkwardly, Adam on the other hand is lounging beside him, legs stretching. They remain silent for a time, Adam probably waiting for him to speak. Which is not happening anytime soon, really, Chris' still trying to find words himself.
“What did you mean, I rejected you?” Adam ventures.
“Chris? You awake?” Adam nudges his thigh with the back of a hand, and Chris is thinking the classic Fuck It™ in his head and about to move in for a kiss when Rachel’s stern voice echoes through his brain about consent and assault.
(Use your words, Chris. Yes, yes, Rachel. How many times do I have to tell yo I didn't assault him)
“Can I kiss you?” Well, apparently his brain has a one-track mind.
“What?” Aww. The confused brows-eyes combination. At least it’s not a deer-caught-in-headlight one.
“Can I kiss you? Again, I mean” he can feel Adam stiffen in place, his body straightening up from the lounge. “What? Chris, what are you playing at—”
“You said” he interrupts, “last time, you said it’s like kissing your brother. I’m not your brother, Adam, and I’d like to prove it. Can I kiss you? For real this time”
“Are you saying—”
“Please”. The begging tears down Adam’s defense in seconds, as Chris knew it would, and he acquiesces, relaxing back down and gestures for Chris to go ahead. Determined to make it right this time, Chris slowly moves over him, hands on the backrest bracketing Adam’s head, and leanes down slowly.
Their lips touch, and Chris shivers. Unlike their first kiss by the campfire at Ortu’s, they move slowly. Gently. Adam fully aware and lips responding, moving with his. Chris relaxes into the kiss, into Adam. He pushes a little and Adam slips sideways down, his head on the armrest, his leg pulled up on the sofa allowing Chris to follow him without losing contact. Suddenly they are horizontal, their tongues touch just inside Adam’s mouth, eliciting a groan. The sound goes straight to Chris’ dick, but he refrains, because Adam's speaking.
“What are you doing, Chris?” They kiss some more, then Chris pulls back only to bury his face in Adam’s neck. The angle is kinda awkward, but he makes do.
“Please don’t date the canoe guy”
“The canoe guy” Chris almost-whines “save the whale sticker, the normal gay guy”
A beat, and Adam huffs a laugh “of course that was you”. He's referring to the muffler Chris apparently knocked off Matt’s car with a hockey stick but doesn’t sound upset about it. Heavy arms snake around Chris, and he relaxes again. “Why do you assume he’ll date me just because I fix his car again?”
Chris uses this opportunity to snuggle a little closer, making himself comfortable in the space between Adam’s thighs. “Of course he will. You’re like, perfect boyfriend material”
Another beat. This time slightly longer.
“You are” Chris babbles as if prompted, most likely by the Rachel-voice in his head. “You’re nice. You’re kind. You’re cute and soft and sexy and dependable and did I mention sexy? Yeah. That. And your parents are the best and a great kisser and fuck why are you letting me speak? Why are you not shutting me up right now fuck Adam!” He runs himself out of breath and decides to shut himself up by plunging his tongue into Adam’s open mouth. The other man is still for only a second before getting on board. Tongue moving, hands roaming, and Chris can’t help but grinding his pelvis down to meet the other erection slowly rising under his.
They continue to make out like that until both absolutely have to breath. Adam pants breathlessly but his eyes got that determined glint, his voice hoarse “Are you saying” he pants some more “that you want me to be your boyfriend”
Chris has never been more grateful for Adam’s superior EQ than right at that moment. “Yes” He punctuates his answer with a kiss “please?” and throw in a begging puppy-eyes for good measures.
“I thought you’re not into guys, dude” Oooh, the hand in his hair felt nice.
“Apparently I’m into one of them now”
Maybe Chris needed to sell the idea a little more. “Think about the pros, man. You already know me, so there’s no surprises like some random guys”
“I’d say this is quite a surprise, you know, after the last month” That was definitely a smirk on the man. Chris decides that those naughty lips need to be punished with a nip.
“You know what I mean. Besides, your mom already loves me, no need to sell my good points to her since she knows all of them”
“Such advantages” Adam’s chuckle reverberates through their connected chests, then he sobers “you sure you’re not fucking with me? Not gonna freak out and stay away again?”
“I wanna fuck you alright, but you might have to guide me a little” He blurts, and winces when Adam raises both eyebrows at him.
A snort. And Adam lets out an uncontrollable giggle. An adorable giggle. Which should have clued Chris in ages ago, seeing that he’d always thought Adam’s giggles are adorable.
“I know you have done anal before, Chris”
The blunt word, which should not at all has been sexy, causes his hip to jerk a little in response to the thought it induced. “You mean it’s the same?”
“What do you think I am, E.T.?”
“Right. A fucking manly man. Right. So, anal?”
Adam hesitates “maybe we should talk some more first”
“Adaaam” Chris grinds down beseechingly.
“Right. In the morning. We should talk in the morning. In bed. Bed?”
------ ------- ------- -------
He’s going to get to fuck Adam.
They are having sex!
The energy with which they’d disrobed each other was frenetic and their kisses heated, sloppy with need. Now, though, with Adam on his knees before him, three fingers slicked with lube working himself open for him, Chris is mesmerized. They are all out of words for the moment, but the yearning in his whole being spoke loud and clear how much he wants this. Unconsciously, Chris’ face drifts ever closer to those fingers moving in and out of Adam flushed skin quivering ever so slightly from either arousal or the strain from holding this position. He’s not quite sure, but decides he should help out.
Adam gasps when Chris bites gently on the flesh of his ass, working fingers stuttering and the other hand clutching the headboard seems to slip a little and his buttock pushes against Chris’ face, which is a welcomed angle and he's all too happy to take it in both hands. Adjusting his stance, he pulls Adam lower to settle on both hands and knees, leaving his backside open for Chris to explore. The soft moan muffled by the pillow a reward to his exited brain and he plunges two fingers inside Adam, his mouth finding the same spot he’s bitten and does it again, making sure to leave bruises this time.
“Fuck, Chris” Adam groans, hip jerking as if fucking air and Chris catches a thigh, prying it open wider for easier access. He hesitates for a brief moment, knowing what hang between the tight, meaty thighs but then shrugs it off. He’s come this far, already felt it with his own plus with this set of equipment he knows for sure what feel good. And it’s Adam. Who’s absolutely fucking himself on Chris’ fingers right know holyshitfuckingdamnsexy. Chris can’t help it, he bites down again, and lets his hand grips Adam’s balls firmly, pulling, feeling the warm weight in his palm.
Another hoarse shout, and he can feel Adam gripping his own neglected cock as if preventing himself from coming right then. “You good?” Chris asks. “Yeah. Fuck.” is the succinct answer. Adam turns to meet his eyes sideways, his ass still in the air “I think you should fuck me now”
The suggestion short-circuited Chris’ brain and he squeezed himself hard before it embarrasses him by doing something like shooting at the invitation. Adam chuckles huskily and flips over onto his back, dislodging the fingers in his ass with only a little hiss. “Come’ere” he beckons with both arms open for Chris to slot himself in, and they share another heated kiss that he doesn’t wan to ever end. But then again, the hard dick poking his abs and the hand on his ass pulling him closer are as good as an order to get on with it already.
Fumbling—uncharacteristically, mind you—a little, Chris finally lines himself up and pushes in slowly, moving inch by inch, eyes not leaving Adam’s face. The opened mouth and closed eyes are great indication that he’s doing good, so he pulls out half way through only to push in again, deeper this time. “Fuck. You feel good.” He pants, keeping the pace and inching deeper on every thrust. What he did not expect though, is Adam smiling at him and two legs on his back, pushing him instantly deeper as far as he could go. “Ah! You goddamn maniac!”
The answering laughter reverberated through Adam’s body and Chris can feel it through his dick, which is not at all good for his stamina. He grips at the other man’s shoulders and pushes them down hard, giving a toothy smile at the abrupt halt of laugher at that as he begins to undulate hip, working the hole his cock inhibits. The resulting breathless moans are very satisfactory.
A blushing, moaning, worked up Adam is fuel to his fire, and Chris fucks him in earnest, thrusting for all he was worth. The room is filled with the sound of flesh slapping, and Adam repeating ChrisChrisChrisChris like a prayer and Chris is lost. He pushes closer, almost folding his partner in half to get to his mouth. Their kisses this time are uncoordinated and sloppy, Adam’s leg stretching out high and wide on the crook of Chris’ arm, another on his hip, urging the hard thrusts going in and out and in and out. Their bodies move up and down the bed with the force of their fucking, Adam bracing one arm on the headboard for either leverage or protection while another kneaded and roamed on Chris’ back and hip, leaving finger-shaped bruises of his own.
“Fuck! Fuck, I’m coming Chris. Chris. Chris” Adam breathes, the urgent tone spurs him and Chris gets his hand on the neglected cock between their bodies, pulls and twists in tandem with his thrusts, rhythm failing and frantic. They are so close, but he’ll be damned if he wouldn’t make Adam come first.
In no time at all Adam is keening wordlessly and trashing beneath him, his hole squeezing Chris’ dick still moving at a punishing pace and he is coming, spilling in the space between them. Chris fucks him though it, reveling in the desperate sounds coming from the other man, in the tiny little twitches Adam’s spent cock gives at his thrusts. He pushes faster and faster, chasing ever closer, but it's Adam’s hand in his hair and his blissed-out smile, the words “yeah, yeah, yeah, come on. Come for me. Chris” that does it, and Chris spills himself inside, crashing onto the body readily open and waiting for him.
They lay there unmoving, catching breaths and enjoying the afterglow. Chris quite comfortably decides that Adam makes a good matrass. Supple, not too soft. Would be great for snuggling. “That was fucking great” he announces with conviction “we should have done that years ago”
Chucking, Adam pokes at his ribs “fuck yes”, he agrees “let me get up”
“Why?” Chris whines. He’s quite comfortable here. “Don’t wanna”
“Yeah, no. We have to wash up, and you have to pull out. The condom, man” The poking continues insistently, joined by squirming.
“Oh, right. The condom.” Chris finally gets himself up and off Adam, albeit reluctantly, to get rid and dispose of the condom “but we’re coming back to bed, yeah?”
Adam looks at his face and grins quite happily, which make Chris even happier for some reason “of course, Chris.” He then pulls him in for a kiss and it is almost as hot as the ones they shared during sex. Chris decides that kissing Adam would be his favourite staple activity from now on. “Let’s shower, eh? And we can come back to bed”
“I’m staying over” Chris announces on his way following Adam into the bathroom “since, you know, we’re talking in the morning”
The reminder seems to make Adam stop in his tracks. He looks back over his shoulder, into his eyes, as if searching for something. Chris gulps, suddenly not sure what kind of face he has and what it is that Adam was looking for. But he's worried for nothing at all, because Adam seems to find whatever it was in Chris’—admittedly vulnerable—hopeful smile. The smile he gets back is as bright as the morning sun.
“Yeah, we’ll talk in the morning” Adam grasps his hand and pulls forward, catching him by the waist “but maybe you don’t need to sleep on it, hmm?” He asks cheekily, eyebrows moving in suggestive fashion so absurd Chris has to laugh and squish his face at the crook of Adam’s neck and shoulder at the same time. Yes. This is it. This is working for them. And they will talk about it in the morning. Together.
“No, I don’t think I don’t need sleep tonight”
They’re gonna be fine.