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Missing You

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It was funny. She’d never think that she could be so attached to a life of crime like this. And be so attached to him in the process.

 

At first she thought she was going crazy. Insane ? No. She signed herself up for this life immediately after leaving her pearls out for him, asking for another job, throwing the keys at his face, and even sending him to jail. She did this to herself.

 

She didn’t want to grow attached to him. It was scary. Dean brought that fear upon her.

 

“You either be quiet about the divorce or he’ll face the consequences.” He has said to her. Venom and manipulation in his voice.

 

Now don’t get her wrong. She knew he couldn’t do anything drastic, because this was Dean of all people. But, she couldn’t imagine Rio getting hurt. The thought scared her. It scared her more than getting too attached to him. Loving him .

 

So she listened.

 

She goes to work, comes home, and spends time with her children until they have to go to bed. She doesn’t complain about this, until Dean decides to get close and personal one night. Attempting to have sex, as if she was suddenly an interest to him after what he had done.

 

She couldn’t believe he thinks that because she chose him, means he’s allowed back in her bedroom. That he’s allowed to have sex with her. She only chose him to protect those that mattered.

 

Those who matter, she thinks. Rio did matter to her, didn’t he?

 

She stops showing up to their meetings entirely, asking both Ruby and Annie to go instead. They knew something was wrong and even ask about it. She’d just play it off with another I’m okay or I’m held up a little bit here at home . She’ll run out of excuses one day.

 

“Beth..we know something’s wrong.” Ruby tried to press her for the truth. As much as she loved Ruby, she couldn’t tell her. She’s already faced her troubles with the FBI and Agent Turner already. She couldn’t let her get hurt and suffer anymore, this time from Dean.

 

Annie looked at her, face full of worry and uncertainty. She couldn’t hurt her sister either. She practically raised Annie herself, and as much trouble she was growing up, doing the most questionable things and making the most debatable of choices, she loved her to bits. She couldn’t let her go back to court, already facing the wrath of a now deceased (thank goodness), Boomer, who framed her for having drugs in her locker at work.

 

Not only that, but Annie’s relationship with Sadie is going downhill too, for something she didn’t think over or have a conscious about once again. But, she couldn’t let Sadie have a mother in prison either.

 

She couldn’t let them get hurt and face the consequences of her own actions.

 

“I can’t tell you..okay? Please, just drop it.” Her voice broken, on the verge of tears, she was so angry inside.

 

But in the end, they just hugged her, kissed her forehead, and left the topic to rot.

 

One day I’ll tell them . I’ll tell him one day too. She keeps saying this to herself, realizing that she had grown too attached to Rio as is. Dean confining her at home and at work, made her realize this.

 

She loved Rio and now, she couldn’t see him. The feeling of longing and want made her crave him even more.

 

She missed him.

 

She hoped that one day came fast. She longed that one day came fast. She begged that one day came fast, because she didn’t know how much more she could take.

 

And god, did one day come fast.

 

“Rio.” She whispered. Why was he standing in her room? Why was he here ?

 

A million questions entered her mind within a second as she just stared at the man she so longed to see for months, is standing in her room, leaning against her bureau.

 

He said nothing and slowly walked over to her, stopping mere inches from her. His finger gently grazes down the side of her face in that way he always does.

 

“I missed you.” She hears him say in that gravelly voice of his. Her heart goes a million miles per second, and even threatens to burst at this point. Her face flushes and she couldn’t help but look at him.

 

She musters up the courage to speak only for it to be the four words she didn’t have the heart to say.

 

“I can’t see you.” Then she rambles on.

 

“I can’t let Annie or Ruby get hurt because of me, I can’t let my children live to see their mother go to jail because of my dumb mistakes, and I can’t let you get hurt by Dean because of me and my choices.” Her eyes get glossy and tears fall down her face.

 

They were silent for a minute or so.

 

“I-I missed you too..” she finally says.

 

He wipes the tears that recently fell from her eyes with his free thumb, almost affectionately.

 

“He won’t hurt me Elizabeth” Rio says calmly. Her eyes go wide, realizing that he probably knew what Dean was planning. Ruby and Annie , she thinks.

 

She felt so dumb for thinking they wouldn’t eventually find out about what’s been going on, whether she told them or not.

 

Before she could even say anything else, she felt him kiss her. It was soft and she practically melted on the spot once she started kissing him in return.

Once they stop, they just look at one another. Both feeling the same way, but too hesitant to say it.

 

She stutters, trying to find the right words to say about what just happened. Her eyes were dazed a little, lips feeling engraved after kissing him.

 

He watches her every move as closely as possible, and probably expected her to pull away, maybe even kick him out.

 

“I wish..you would have chased after me..just a little bit, because at this point you know me better than I do.” She said softly, giggling a bit. She did wish Rio to looked for her. She felt like a bird locked up in a cage without him around. The flame she held would have eventually burnt out.

 

“You not showin’ up to the meetings hurt me.” He said. She looked up at him, regret in her eyes.

 

She had hurt him.

 

“I’m sorry..” she whispered. She knew it wasn’t enough for what she had done and what she was told to believe.

 

He sighed and put their foreheads together, then suddenly laughs softly, something she’s never heard before which causes her to smile too. She wrapped her arms around his neck and tried to take in this moment as best she can.

 

“We’ll figure out a way to deal with car-man.” He whispers in her ear. Her smile grew wider, feeling relief finally take over her body for the first time in months.

 

“I missed you Rio..”

 

“I missed you too Elizabeth.”