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Wanting something you shouldn't

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It had been a day since the kiss that rocked the school and Joe couldn't get it out of his head.His was being pathetic.A kiss between two losers shouldn't of have this kind of effect on him.And if he was being honest with himself it hadn't even been Serena that he noticed ,it was Nick.Nick with his pretentious attitude , nice eyes , hair that would be great to run your hands through , pouty lips and his annoying ability to look good with his tongue down someone else's throat.A freak like Nick shouldn't have been able to make Joe so strung out like this.It was unnatural.It would be bad enough if Nick was a girl but the fact he was a guy made the situation even worse.Made it even more disgusting and embarrassing.

Joe stopped going to church when he was twelve.Church wasn't a cool place to be seen.But he still remembered all the lessons he was taught even if he didn't follow them.The shame was burned into the back of his brain.Homosexuality was a sin , the authority figures in his life got that message across loud and clear.A part of him was broken.As well as that the kids he grew up with said a similar message in a different way.Faggots were to be mocked as much as possible and smear the queer was an accepted playground game.Cool guys weren't gay.And thankfully Joe wasn't.He enjoyed all the times he fooled around this girls.But sometimes his mind would wander like when he saw Nick make out with Serena.Sometimes he wondered what it would be like to fool around with guys.But maybe it was just a normal part of growing up and it would stop eventually.Maybe his hormones were just all over the place right now.Yeah , that sounded likely.But he didn't want to think about that right now.All Joe wanted to do was drink and jerk off until his feelings for Nick went away.