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Coming Out: A Reality

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Lucas waited anxiously outside of the house that belonged to nobody other than his father, his hands clammy and shaking at his sides. His relationship with his father was undeniably cracked, but Lucas felt he deserved to know the truth about his only son.

He took a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. He's got all the time in the world to do this and a platform of support to fall right back on if things don't go as planned; a luxury many don't have, he thought. In particular, he had the luxury that was Eliott Demaury in his life, the man who had turned his world upside down and had encouraged him to tell his father the truth.

Lucas knocked on the door with shaking knuckles.

"Lucas," his father greeted curtly before opening the door. "It's been a while, come on in."

He offered a weak smile and stepped inside the old house, almost instantly noticing the pictures of his father and another woman in frames around the room.

He gulped. "I actually just want to kind of get this over with," he paused, "I.. I need to tell you something, Dad."

The older man closed the door, his brows furrowed in confusion as he leaned against the wall.

"Alright?"

"I'minlovewithanotherboy," he blurted quickly, so fast his words were unintelligible. The confused and somewhat annoyed look his father shot him made his tongue ramble on without his own permission.

"I'm gay."

Silence.

"Oh."

It was so quiet that the clock ticking from the corner had grown taunting, each second of silence stretched out across what felt like hours.

"Are you.. can you say something?" the nervous boy pleaded, his voice desperate, desperate for any response, any knowledge about what was going on in his father's head at his words.

"Oh.. You're being serious," his father acknowledged coldly. There was only one word that could be used to describe the tone of the man, and it was ice. Ice cold, ice sharp, but even the frozen temperatures that radiated through the room couldn't stop Lucas' heart from being set aflame.

"Y-yes, I'm being serious," he admitted, swallowing dryly, "are you mad?"

"Lucas, you are not gay."

"I am."

"You are not a motherfucking faggot, Lucas," he boomed, and his eyes began to fill with an icy fire. "I did not raise my son, my only son, to go against God and every, every fucking thing he stood for. Everything He gave us. Everything I have done for you!"

Fuck. Why didn't he see it coming. Why did he listen to Eliott. Why did he think this was a good idea. Why. Why. Why.

"Fucking hell.." his father trailed, meeting his eyes that shone with nothing but disapproval and a bubbling anger. "Just leave."

"Dad, please just-"

"Leave, Lucas!" he shouted, pounding a fist against the wall that made the nearest photo shake on its hinge. "I have a new family now. I do not need a fucking gay stranger here as a reminder of what a fuck up I married."

A stranger. That was all Lucas was to him now, and all he would ever be unless he resorted to calling the whole ordeal a sick, sick joke. But wasn't a joke this time, and the brunette was too exhausted and too drained to put up any fight at all.

And so he left, stumbling out of the door and down the porch steps, not daring to look over his shoulder to see the icy stare of a man who was once his father gaze back at him.

He ran. He ran far, far from the house, far from anywhere he recognized. Tears pickled at his eyes and he bit his lip so hard it bled, and clenched his jaw so tight it ached. He kept on running until he didn't know where he was anymore, streetlights and sidewalk cracks blurring together until he finally slowed down.

His heart burned in his chest and almost, almost melted the ice that had fogged up his head. The ice from a man he should have never even spoken to that day. He pulled out his phone and his fingers shook as he messaged the one person he knew he could trust.

Lucas
i need you please eliott cometo me

He received a response almost immediately.

Eliott
Fuck, what?? Where are you?

Eliott
Lucas??

The shaking boy was having trouble breathing and the city around him felt suddenly lonely. There he sat, curled in a ball against an old wire fence, his hair tangled in a thousand directions with tears trickling from his eyes. He was alone. He needed someone. Someone who didn't fucking care about who he loved. He needed Eliott.

Lucas
i dontt jnow where i am

Incoming call from Eliott

One click of a green button and he wasn’t so alone anymore.

"Baby? Baby! Oh my god, where are you? What happened? Please be okay," Eliott's voice was strained and held immense worry as he paced back and forth outside his flat, already having bolted from his room upon seeing Lucas' texts.

"I-I don't know, just," the broken boy sobbed, "a s-sign says Autumn Street."

"Autumn Street? That's.. that's far. Do you need to go to a hospital? Are you hurt?"

Lucas shook his head even though the other man couldn't see. The phone was pressed tightly against his tearstained cheek. "No, no, I'm-I'm fine," he hiccuped, “physically."

Breathing was a little easier now that he could hear his lover's voice.

"I'll be over soon," Eliott promised. Lucas could hear the sound of a car engine rumbling through the phone. "Stay on the phone, okay? We can talk about everything when I get to you."

Lucas took a deep breath and another round of sobs overtook him, wracking his small frame and breaking Eliott's heart bit by bit from the other end of the line. Listening to the man of his dreams cry was a terrible thing.

Seven minutes passed - seven deadly, dangerous minutes - that gave Lucas enough time to truly absorb the weight of what had happened.

He was no longer his father's son.
He wouldn't be able to afford rent, so he would no longer have a home.
His family was now entirely shattered.
His future children would never have a loving grandfather.
Being who he was had drawn the final line between his father and him.

Each thought was another spark that ignited the fire that burned a gaping hole through his heart.

"Lucas! Baby," Eliott spoke, running out of his car and letting his voice fade to a whisper as he leaned down towards his lover, arms cocooning Lucas in a loving embrace.

The boy's frame wracked in his arms and he started crying even harder, wrapping his arms around Eliott's shoulders and neck. He silently cried into his shirt, too tired to care about ruining it and knowing that Eliott wouldn't care in the slightest either.

"Shh, shh," Eliott cooed, his hands threading themselves gently through Lucas' wispy locks and tracing shapes along his back.

The two stayed like that for a while, rocking back and forth on the side of the pavement, before the brunette's tears had finally subsided, replaced by sniffles and occasional hiccups. His eyes were red and his nose was puffy, and he knew it wasn't a pretty sight.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

Eliott's tone was as soft as feathers, falling upon Lucas' ears in a way that was so, so different than his father's. His voice wasn't ice, instead a cushion for him to rest on, a shoulder to cry on. It held a delicate beauty.

"Not.. Not now," he shook his head, “but we can later. My dad just.. didn’t have the best reaction. To me coming out.”

“Oh, baby,” the taller of the two sighed, “I love you. You are so, so strong. I could never do what you did.”

“You’re stronger than me, emotionally and physically. We both know that.”

Eliott leaned out of their embrace to look Lucas in the eyes, his own swirling blue-gray irises searching for a hint of a lie.

“That’s not true,” he countered, tucking a stray hair of Lucas’ behind his ear. “It’s a balance. You keep me strong everyday and give me a reason to get up out of bed when I’m at my worst. We give each other strength, and just because your dad can’t see that what we have is still love, does not mean you’re any weaker.”

A loving smile quirked up on Lucas’ face and he cupped Eliott’s jaw, resting their foreheads together as they sat across from one another.

“I love you, you know,” he stated. “I really fucking love you.”

“I really fucking love you too, my hedgehog.”

Lucas bit back a laugh and the thin pool of tears that lingered in his eyes twinkled under the sunlight like diamonds. “My raccoon.”

The raccoon and the hedgehog sat together propped up against the fence beneath the summer sky, and soon their hands intertwined, eventually their legs too. Tender, lighthearted kisses were exchanged, just enough to bring Lucas back to Earth when his head began to travel back to the previous events.

“I love you,” Eliott said.

Lucas grinned. “You already said that.”

“I’ll say it again,” Eliott paused, “and again. And again. And again. I love you.”