a/n: Hello everyone! It certainly has been a long time, hasn’t it?
Like everyone else, I’d figured my time writing about the romance between the Supreme Leader and the Scavenger for the First Order Intranet had come to an end after I posted the seventeenth epilogue to “Like Sands Through the Hourglass” two years ago. Little did I know at the time that the real life stars of that story would actually end up engaged! And what that would do to demand for more stories about these two idiot lovebirds.
I’ve had a wonderful, profoundly profitable time writing my own original fiction the past eighteen months (you can find that here) but when I heard the news--or, more specifically, when fans of my old story heard the news--the eighteenth, and final, epilogue to Like Sands Through the Hourglass was the inevitable result.
After working on it for a solid twenty-seven minutes, I am finally ready to present that eighteenth epilogue to you, right here.
As always, millions of thanks to my old friend NotMitaka , who has graciously agreed to beta for me one last time and who has provided tasteful NSFW accompanying illustrations (which you can find here ).
(One final note-- The royal wedding is itself still a few months away, of course. As such, this story represents nothing but a fan’s rich imaginings. I invite you to join me for the ride.)
It was a dark and stormy night onboard whatever godforsaken ship the not-Supreme-Leader-anymore flew on now that he was not the Supreme Leader anymore.
I mean it wasn’t literally stormy. Ships designed for intergalactic travel don’t have an atmosphere, duh. And, as any Introduction to Scienceology course would tell you, without an atmosphere you cannot actually have actual storms.
But it was, in fact, dark. Because the lights were all off. And the storms, such as they were, could all be found deep within the former-Supreme-Leader’s heart.
For he was frightened.
“What is it?” the Scavenger asked. She was naked and lying in his arms in their bed. She was still wet from their fuckening. But Kylo Ren (or Ben, as the traitor called himself now) didn’t even care that she was still all wet and kind of gross down there. That’s how much he loved her.
“It’s…” Ben began. He was really, really nervous. More nervous than he’d been since the last time his former General, the incredibly handsome Armitage C. Hux, bested him at sabacc. “I have something I need to ask you.”
Rey adjusts her veil and fidgets nervously, waiting for Leia to come and escort her to the ceremony.
It had been Leia’s idea for them to sneak away to do this, away from all the pomp and circumstance that would be expected of them if they’d wed in the Capital. And both she and Ben--neither one of them eager to endure even more time under the spotlight, after everything they’ve been through--had readily agreed.
But now that they’re finally here, and doing this--now that she’s wearing a pretty floral dress and a white veil; now that she’s waiting for Leia to come get her and walk her down an aisle to where her soon-to-be-husband is waiting for her--Rey almost wishes they’d done this in public after all. Because in public, the odd kind of anonymity that always comes from being watched by a sea of strangers might have distracted her from the nerves currently roiling in the pit of her stomach.
Or at least, made them a little easier to bear.
At length, Leia comes to her, her face white as a sheet.
“Rey,” she gasps, breathing hard. She puts a hand on the door frame to steady herself.
Rey stands up, alarmed. “What is it?”
“The worst possible thing that could have happened.”
Rey’s eyes go as wide as saucers.
Not again .
Not today, of all days.
But one look at Leia’s panicked expression tells Rey everything she needs to know.
"What do you need to ask me?” Rey was still butt naked but she had the covers pulled up to her chin so Ben couldn’t see her tiddies anymore. Which was actually kind of a good thing? even though he normally kind of liked the little things.
This was a hard enough thing as it was, what he was about to do, without having to see her boobs too.
I can do this, he told himself. I can. I was the Supreme Leader for thirteen months. I almost beat Armitage Hux at sabacc that one time (even though in the end i totally lost).
I can do hard things.
“A question,” Ben Solo said. His voice felt weird. Which wasn’t such a strange thing, since he just got done screaming a whole bunch and making loud sex noises. But for this, he’d hoped his voice would sound good and strong. Studly. Manly. “An important question.”
The Scavenger propped herself up on one elbow. The sheets feel away from her and Ben could totally see her boobs again but he would not be deterred.
He got out of bed, buck naked himself except for his old Kylo Ren helmet that he still liked to wear during sex even though he was a total fucking traitor to everything the First Order ever stood for.
He dropped to his knees. His dick and balls were really big so they dragged a little on the ground, like a young tree overburdened with ripe fruit. But right now, he didn’t care.
“Marry me,” he said, meaning it.
“Daddy,” the Scavenger whispered, meaning it too.
Poe and Finn are already in the small antechamber and dressed in their wedding finery when Rey and Leia arrive. The two men are hunched over a single datapad, giving whatever it is they’re reading their full attention.
Until, that is, Leia makes a pointed throat-clearing noise from the doorway.
Two heads snap up from the datapad in unison, matching guilty looks on their faces.
“Really, boys?” Leia comes up behind them and snatches the datapad. She shuts it off with a loud click and tosses it to the side. “We don’t have time right for you to be reading this garbage.”
Finn opens his mouth, looking offended. He looks like he’s about to protest his innocence, but Poe cuts him off with a subtle shake of his head and a sharp look.
“Sorry, General,” Poe says, still glaring at Finn.
Leia shakes her head. “You don’t have to call me that anymore.”
“Old habits,” Poe says, smiling.
“Fine,” Leia says impatiently. “But the point remains. There isn’t time for you to be reading that nonsense. Not today. Not when my son and Rey are getting married. Let’s not give any more legitimacy to this… this trash, today of all days.”
Just then, Ben walks in, looking dazed.
“T.U.G. is back,” he groans. He sits down heavily in one of the room’s empty chairs and buries his head in his hands. He’s dressed in a simple black robe. Rey has never found him more attractive than she does right now. “We never did find out who was writing it, and now they’re back.”
“We’ll find them,” Leia says, with a conviction in her voice Rey has come to expect from her soon-to-be mother-in-law. She comes up behind Ben and places a reassuring hand on his shoulder. “We will. But, in the meantime…”
Leia trails off, and looks Rey right in the eye. She beams at her.
“In the meantime, we have a wedding to get to.”
After cuddling for a while they got horny again.
Which made sense because except for the Kylo Ren helmet Ben was wearing they were still totally fucking naked.
“Wife-to-be,” the former Supreme Leader groaned. He lined his huge thing up at her really big opening and said, “do you know why they call this a space cucumber?”
She stared at his dick, and then she couldn’t stare at his dick anymore because he was fucking her hole with it and she didn’t have x-ray vision or anything.
“Tell me, Alpha,” she groaned. Her tiddies were bouncing because that’s how hard the former Supreme Leader was dicking her down. “Tell me.”
He fucked her some more and said: “It’s called a space cucumber because it’s shaped like a cucumber. And we’re in space.”
“Logical,” she groaned, as he ducked her and ducked her and ducked her.
A lot goes through Ben’s mind in the moments just before his mother places Rey’s delicate hands in his own.
Memories of what it had been like to be alone for so long, even when he was surrounded by other people. The fear, the anger-- all of it so stifling, all of it crushing what little remained of his soul.
“Hey.” Rey’s looking up at him now with real wonder in her eyes. Incredible. All of this is so incredible, so absolutely impossible to believe. That he, someone who has never deserved even a fraction of the happiness this woman has brought him, would be looking down into the face of his bride right now and seeing a lifetime of joy reflected back at him in her eyes.
“Hi, Rey.” His voice sounds far away to his own ears. He feels dizzy.
She smiles at him. At the way his own lips curve into a smile around her name.
“Can we please get started?” His mother’s tone is stern, but Ben is not fooled. Leia Organa’s smile matches his, and the look in her eyes tells him that right now, her heart is nearly as full as his.
“Please.” He nods once, meaningfully. “We’ve waited long enough.”
He turns back to face his bride.
She’s still smiling.
And so they tied the knot.
The former Rey “the Scavenger” Noname was now Mrs. the Former Supreme Leader.
And nothing would ever be the same.
When there ceremony was finally over Mrs. the Former Supreme Leader and Mr. the Former Supreme Leader looked at each other…
….and then at the huge, enormous bed that took up most of the room.
“We’re married,” Mr. the Former Supreme Leader said.
“I guess we are,” Mrs. the Former Supreme Leader agreed. She was wearing a big white monstrosity of a dress that was honestly pretty dumb and ugly. But she’d insisted that all brides wore that kind of shit. And who was Mr. the Former Supreme Leader to argue with her?
He unzipped her from the stupid thing, like a man peeling the back the sticky layers of a rotten tauntaun carcass, and threw her on the bed.
“I’m going to fuck your woman hole,” he growled. “All night long.”
And then he did.
It was amazing .
After the ceremony--after the small group of guests shower them with modest gifts and send them off with well wishes and waggling eyebrows--Ben turns to face his bride.
And he kisses her.
He doesn’t know how many times he’s kissed her since that first time, when they’d both been shaking and nervous and not even actually in the same geographical space. Hundreds of times. Thousands. But it doesn’t matter, because each time he kisses her it sends a thrill shooting down his spine, makes him feel vital and alive and so desperately in love--just as it did that first time.
“I hate that that asshole is still… out there,” he murmurs against her lips. “Writing that garbage. I haven’t read this latest bit but I’m certain it’s appalling.”
Rey clears her throat. “I... read it.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “You did?”
She nods. “Yeah. Poe showed it to me when you ran out of the room in the middle of the ceremony because you’d forgotten our rings upstairs.”
He closes his eyes, hot shame flooding him. Just when he thought his days of being a complete idiot were behind him, he goes and does something like that. “I see.”
She stands on her tiptoes and presses a gentle kiss to his forehead. “Don’t worry about the rings,” she murmurs. She presses whisper-soft kisses to his cheeks, the tip of his nose. To his lips. “You’ve had a lot on your mind and it could have happened to anyone. And yeah--the story is appalling.”
He grits his teeth and shakes his head in frustration. “Knowing that that’s out there again and there’s nothing I can do about it--” he trails off, beyond agitated. “It was bad enough before I knew what it was like to be intimate with you. Before… before I knew you loved me too. Now that I do know, and now that you are my wife …” He can’t finish the thought. He’s too angry. Too angry, on the day that should be the happiest of his entire life.
But if Rey feels even a fraction of the anger he does in this moment, she shows no sign of it. Instead she only smiles and kisses him on the lips.
“Want to read it together?”
Ben’s jaw drops. “ What ?”
She giggles-- since when does Rey giggle ? -- and tries to hide her growing smile behind her palm.
“It’s just… so ridiculous, Ben.” She winds her arms around his neck and pulls his face down to hers. “We should read it together, tonight. In bed.” She kisses him tenderly and, kriff, in this moment he would give her just about anything she asked of him. “We should read it together, and then we should compare notes on everything we think TheUltimateGinger has gotten absolutely dead wrong .”
Memories of a similar conversation from two years and a lifetime ago float to the forefront of his mind. In the end, he supposes he can’t hate TheUltimateGinger too badly. Given that in many ways, he owes his current happiness entirely to his terrible prose.
Ben pretends to think about it for a moment, though of course he’s already made up his mind to agree with her.
“All right,” he says, mock severely. “But only on one condition.”
She raises an eyebrow. “What’s the condition?”
He spins her around, and starts walking her backwards, slowly, towards their bed.
“The condition,” he says, kneeling down to remove her stockings. Aside from them she is wearing no underthings beneath her dress. He has to pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming. “The condition is that after we finish reading, we rectify all the mistakes the author has made by doing things the correct way.”
In the end, it’s a compromise Rey decides she can live with.