Bruce stared down at the desk full of invitation that he and Selina had to sign off on. A multitude of them being towards the Gotham Elite, The Kane Family, Wayne Enterprises Employees and Partnerships, The League, The Titans, Some of the Doom Patrol, and few of Brucie’s old college mate, along with the street friends of Selina Kyle. Alfred had demanded that both parts of the marriage sign off on the invitations using their signature which would be fine if there were not over four hundred people attending this wedding. He grabbed the first invitation off the seven piles all of which were alphabetized. It was addressed to a woman he hadn’t seen since he first bared the cowl.
Silver St. Cloud, his high school sweetheart and first love. She fell in love with Bruce Wayne, yet left Batman. Yes, she was mentioned often to tease Selina. Even more often when speaking about the many relationships that tarnished due to his night time activities. The nostalgia builds.
Through Batman, he gained alot.
He lost alot too.
“Silver,” a sixteen year old Bruce screamed through a house party held by one of the teenage elite, “Silver! Wait!”
But the silver haired teen kept storming by, sober where most teenager were drunk or high. She always hated these type of places and only attended for Bruce of her friends. The on and off girlfriend of Bruce Wayne was his salvation. Yet, he always managed to screw it up.
“Go away, Bruce,” She trudged. Unlike the other girls, both the elite and downtown girls invited, Silver wore moderately conservative clothing with a lack of perm or eyeliner. Her hair remained the natural gray that looked stunning rather than odd, “Go back to your stupid friends and your stupid mass of girlfriends.”
“We were just having a drink!” Bruce yelled. Sure he was buzzed, but he wasn’t sloshed. Not yet. Silver didn’t like when he was sloshed. Neither did Alfred.
“It’s always just a drink,” She stopped suddenly outside to where her car was waiting, “It’s a drink when she decides to kiss you and you don’t think to push away. It’s a drink when you decide to start a fight because you’re angry. It’s a drink when you are kicked out again but let back in because your butler picks everything up for you.”
“Silver. I’m trying. I’ll stop drinking if that’s what it takes. Just, come on, don’t leave me,” He pleaded with her, letting down those pent up walls that only she seemed to do. He knows he’s in love with her in the best type of ways, but something about it doesn’t seem enough. There’s a darkness in him that he wishes to bury but she seems to be the only one to do it.
She stopped and stared at him. She looked exhausted, “Just get in. Please. I don’t want to be here anymore.”
They ended up where they always do, Gotham Academy lacrosse field where if you give the janitor a fifty then he’ll look the other way. She’s sitting on the grass in a beautiful white dress that will be ruined from the turf.
“I’m sorry,” Bruce whispered.
“I know you are,” She replied, picking at the turf quietly. Bruce felt the guilt rise. It’s the same story again and again for a girl that deserves the world. Yet, she ends up with a broken Bruce Wayne that can’t stop hurting those he cares about.
“Do you forgive me?” He whispered.
“You know I do,” She sighed before staring up at him, “I always will.”
Bruce thought about what Alfred and he had been arguing about for days. A way to deal with the hurt and aggression left behind from the night in the alley when he was a child. A European boarding school. At first Bruce thought Alfred just wanted to be rid of him and have the manor to himself, but that’s a lie. Alfred can’t stand Bruce’s lack of self preservation, the way he throws himself into destroying everything he cares about. Bruce has no purpose and it’s killing those around him. This close call with Silver proves that. There’s a darkness in Bruce that needs to be controlled and tamed if not lightened.
Bruce crawls over to her where she sits on the turf, “Silver. I have to leave Gotham. I can’t stay here anymore. Something isn’t right with me.”
“I know,” she nodded, “I’ve known for a long time. I thought I could help you, but I can’t.”
There’s tear tracks running down here face. Bruce doesn’t know whether to feel hurt by that or comfort her. It’s not her fault he’s a mess, it’s not her obligation to fix him. He wipes her tears with his hands and kisses her softly.
“No one has helped me more than you,” He whispered, “I have to do this for you. I need to be the man you deserve. The man Gotham deserves. Whatever that may be. And when I do, I promise that I’ll come back.”
“I hate that I love you, Bruce Wayne,” She sighed, “I hate you so much.”
“This isn’t a goodbye, Silver,” Bruce swore. At the time it was not, Bruce had every intention of coming back to Gotham and fixing it. Whatever that meant at the time. And Silver, Silver was his silver lining in all of this. He needed her to know that.
“That’s what you think,” She sighed, “You’re going to change Bruce. I know it.”
He shook his head. He’d never not love this girl in front of him who gave him so much more than she could ever imagine. He tore at the cuff of his white shirt, she stared at him like he was nuts but didn’t stop him either. He took that left hand and tied a sloppy little ribbon around the pale ring ringer.
“I promise you that when I come back, it’s for good. Me and you, okay, baby?” He grabbed those pale hands and stared at those electric blue eyes. He could never imagine another woman there.
“Okay,” She nodded, but there was something there that wasn’t right. It was a desperate attempt at believing what he said was true. Even when she knew it wasn’t.
Bruce sighed at the past thought and how foolishly reckless that he had been. He came back years later, already treading on the heartbreak of Talia al Ghul who would later break his heart again. He became a different man but just as broken and used Silver as his shot of redemption. And kind sweet Silver let him use her until she couldn’t anymore.
He was a child when he loved her.
He was using childish thoughts when he tried to marry her.
He and Silver St. Cloud were not meant to be, despite their wishes, but that did not mean he did not still cherish her deeply. Without her, he would not have softened enough for Dick to worm his way in. Nor would he have been prompted to travel. He would not have alot without her.
“What are you thinking about?” Selina asked when she walked in.
Bruce smiled softly at her, “Nothing. Just the future.”