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You fell for the danger of Sherlock

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“John, that wasn't right.”

 

“To what? To punch him? He asked me to do it once. This time it wasn't subtext for me.”

 

“Even if you want to sound funny, you know it wasn't right to do that to your friend. Yes, I remind you that he’s your friend.  Best friend, actually.”

 

“Mary, you don't understand.”

 

“Oh, please, John Watson. We're talking about Sherlock.”

 

“Of course we're talking about Sherlock. Everything always has to do with Sherlock bloody Holmes!”

 

“Can't you just forget about it?”

 

“It doesn't work that way. He´s a narcissist, a liar, an ignorant idiot!”

 

 

Another day with the same discussion. Mary continues to insist on the subject. Frankly, I'm tired of this. You get to a certain point where you want to leave everything behind and start over. I want to move on with my life, no more cases, no more Sherlock. Just Mary and I.

 

 

“I insist on this, you need him like he needs you and don't make that face, you know I'm right.”

 

“Mary, I need a change in my life. I was able to be two years without him; I can spend more without his company. Nothing has changed.”

 

“Of course all has changed, he´s alive now. Or are you going to continue wasting the time that you lost those two years ago now that he´s back?”

 

“I can't. I don't want to talk about this. I'm pissed; I can't forgive him, not this time.”

 

“He's got his reasons; Sherlock's not someone easy to figure out.”

 

“I don't want to know his reasons! He's out of his mind, there's nothing to hear from someone like that.”

 

“He needs you. Sherlock is not Sherlock without John by his side.”

 

“I know more than anyone what he really needs! He just needs his name to appear in all the news as the wonderful and extraordinary detective he is!”

 

“Consultive Detective.”

 

“Well, thank you for your input.”

 

“Come on! He's a good person. He only has trouble showing it.”

 

 

Maybe Mary's right and I'm being too harsh on him. But I can't stop this resentment. I'm really tired of all this, of this friendship.

 

 

“I don't understand why you keep insisting. You don't know him like I do, Mary. You don't know what Sherlock is like.”

 

“Don't underestimate me, John! When I met him I knew immediately that he was a good man. Something peculiar, of course. If he were a bad person, I wouldn't be insisting now that you must see him.”

 

“All right, you're goddamn right. He´s not a bad person. Are you happy now?”

 

“And you? Are you happy? Are you happy without him?”

 

“I don't need him. I've got you and that's all I need.”

 

“No, John. You don't. Remember, I'm dead.”

 

 

Oh, yeah. Mary’s not alive anymore. She's here, but she's not really here. Now I remember, it's been three weeks since my wife's death. In that time I was able to accomplish everything that a despicable being is capable of: to abandon his friends, to neglect his daughter, and to confine himself in order to drink.

 

 

“No, that's enough. I refuse…”

 

“You refuse to accept that I'm dead.  Even with that, you know it's a fact. John, Mrs Hudson told you, I'm already dead, what will you do if Sherlock dies too?”

 

“He won't die. It's Sherlock, he can always save himself from trouble. He even managed to save himself at the cost of your life!”

 

“John, look at me. Answer with honesty, do you really think Sherlock was to blame for my death? I made this decision.”

 

“He made a vow!”

 

“You know perfectly well that Sherlock wouldn't have been able to prevent my death. He even accepted the fact that he was going to die without trying to avoid the bullet.”

 

“…It's hard to accept all of this; I don't have the strength to keep going.”

 

“It may be difficult, but you must do it. You have a daughter now, your friends are supporting you and don't forget Sherlock, you must admit that you fell for him.”

 

“What? No, I´m not gay! I married you!”

 

“Well, if you want me to change my words, then you fell for the danger of Sherlock.”

 

 

Mary couldn't have said it more accurately. No, wait, not Mary. My sub-conscious said it.

 

 

I fell for the danger of Sherlock.

 

 

I can't deny it anymore. It was always like this since the beginning. And  It´s what it´s.