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Language:
English
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Published:
2019-04-05
Words:
812
Chapters:
1/1
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253
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I Wish I Could Hate You

Summary:

A conversation Josie and Penelope had when dancing at the pageant, if Josie hadn't fallen.

Notes:

i hope you enjoy. If you want to give me prompts, my twitter is @stuckinthoughtt.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

“Thank you” Penelope whispered, her body finally relaxing as she and Josie got into position to start the dance.

Josie looked up at Penelope, confused at what the other girl meant. “What do you mean?” Josie looked directly into the other girl’s eyes, “are you talking about not falling? I didn’t do that for you,” Josie whispered harshly “I hate you remember.”

At this point Josie isn’t sure why she was telling Penelope this, she especially regretted it when she saw pain flash through the other girl’s eyes. Maybe it was to distance herself from the girl that broke her heart, maybe it was because it felt as if they had just had a moment, maybe it was because she was scared that she was willing to endure Lizzie’s wrath later just because Penelope gave her the courage to go after what she wanted, because Penelope believed in her.

“I know,” Penelope gave her a small smile, just like she’s done before, “I hate myself too, sometimes, and sometimes I…. never mind” the shorter witch trailed off, shaking her head a little, hoping that the taller brunet wouldn’t try to pry it out of her.

“what? Sometimes you, what?” Josie asked.

“Nothing” Penelope whispered back, looking away, her nervousness rising and dread setting in, praying that her ex-girlfriend would drop it, but knowing that Josie wouldn’t let it go that easily. God, why did I have to fall in love with such a curious and stubborn girl?

“No, tell me”

“It’s nothing” Penelope tried again.

“Penelope.”

“Okay” Penelope sighed, finally giving in, “I wish I could hate you sometimes.” Penelope looked up at Josie's face, looking into the taller girl’s eyes trying to convey that it wasn’t what she thought.

“What?” Out of all the things Josie thought Penelope would confess, the confession that the other girl wished she could hate her was not one of them, she felt a pang of pain in her chest just thinking about how the girl she loves, (yes, loves because even if she did claim that she hated Penelope she knew that was a lie), wish she wouldn’t care about Josie. Is this how she feels like every time I say this to her?

“It’s not what you think Jo-Jo,” Penelope said trying to seek the other girl’s eyes, that had looked away from her the minute she confessed her thought to Josie, “I love you,” Penelope confessed, smiling a little when Josie instantly snapped back to look at her, an expression of shock and confusion covering her features.

“I don’t understand,” Josie said even more confused than she was when Penelope first told her the wish. Josie didn’t really know how to feel anymore, there was too much to process. On the first hand, she was happy, so happy, Penelope loved her. Those words were the only thing Josie wanted to hear since their break up, but know they just raised so many questions.

“I love you Jo-Jo,” Penelope replied softly “but I just…I…” she trailed off, sighing once again and closing her eyes briefly trying to gather her thought and compose herself, “I just wish…I wish I could hate you sometimes, not because I love you any less, but because I love you too much. You don’t know how much I wish I didn’t care about you as much as I do. You say I broke you,” Penelope said closing her eyes for a second as if the thought of hurting Josie also brought her pain, “and maybe I did, but you broke me too, before you no one had the power to do that. No one else could make me beg for them to stay, no one could make me grovel for them” Penelope said, her voice cracking as she looked into Josie’s eyes that had filled up with tears, “No one could so much as make me flinch, but you, Josette Saltzman, you have me begging, kneeling for you. For your attention, for your love, I would do anything for you Jo-Jo.” Penelope finished bring up her hand to cup Josie’s face as the dance finally finished.

“I –” Josie started.

“OKAY LADIES AND GENTLEMEN”

“I love you,” Josie said, ignoring the judges, holding both of Penelope hands that had let go of her face when the announcement started.

(“IT’S TIME TO ANNOUNCE THE WINNER.”)

“I love you with everything I am. And I’m not just saying this because you told me you loved me, but because I am tired of hiding and fighting it.”

(“AND THE WINNER IS…”)

“I love you, Penelope Park.” Josie finished, moving closer to Penelope and reaching out to grab the back of her neck, drawing Penelope closer to her.

(“MISS JOSETTE SALTZMAN”)

And as the spotlight shined on them, Josie finally connected hers and Penelope’s lips in a kiss that felt like coming home.

Notes:

Constructive criticism welcome.