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Who did you lose?

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Tony knew everybody else was shouting, but he didn’t care. Didn’t take note of what people were saying. His mind was blank other than the image of Peter’s death. It played in his mind like a movie, over and over.
Why did it have to be him? Why couldn’t it be me instead?
Tony thought to himself, he had a blank stare. The yelling was just background noise now, like when you live in the city and the cars and chatter become everyday things, almost as if they aren’t there.
Peter suffered. He felt it coming. He felt the pain.
Tony didn’t even blink, until somebody shook him back to reality.
“Tony! Are you even listening?”
It was Steve.
Tony looked up, Steve’s eyes were cold, and everybody was looking at him.
The noise had stopped.
“I don’t even know why you made everybody come in here if you aren’t going to listen, you don’t even care!” Steve shouted angrily.
“Steve, I think he does care, you just-“ Natasha was cut off.
“No! I won’t take it. He doesn’t care one bit. Tony isn’t listening to anybody, he is just dozing off and being lazy,” Steve snapped, slamming his fist down on the table.
“Tony is just in his own world right now. Doesn’t give a shit about the rest of us, he is probably so glad he didn’t lose anybody, that’s why he doesn’t care. He doesn’t understand what we feel,” Steve continued.
“Cap, he lost people, just like us,” Rhodey spoke up, Natasha was standing next to him, eyes narrowed. On her other side was Clint. At the end of the table was Thor, next to him, Bruce. Nebula sat in the corner, staying silent.
“Yeah, he didn’t lose anybody…right? Or am I missing something?” Clint questioned.
“Who the hell did he lose? That’s right, nobody! He has Pepper, Happy, and you, Rhodey. He lost nobody! Nobody!”
Tony stood up, slamming his fists down on the table, everybody looked toward him, including Nebula.
“I lost my son!” He shouted in the loudest voice possible.
Silence. Everybody stared at him, eyes wide. Clint had his mouth hung open. Natasha narrowed her eyes, she looked surprised, but also curious. Bruce was just surprised, like Thor. Steve just stared, eyes wide as moons. Nebula knew what he meant, she had been there.
I regret saying that. He thought.
Tony turned, and walked out of the room.


Tony sat at the end of his bed, starting at the floor.
I shouldn’t have just walked out, I made it worse.
The door opened.
Very few people had access to his room.
Tony looked up, it was Natasha. He had forgotten he had given her access. He sighed.
“What is it,” he looked into her eyes, they didn’t show much emotion.
“We need to talk.”
Natasha sat down at the end of the bed, next to Tony.
“I agree that Steve wasn’t being the best person back there. It’s probably really hard getting used to being around him,”
Tony simply nodded.
“I just have one question,” Natasha sighed, like she didn’t want to ask.
“Ask away,” Tony replied.
“Who…Who was your son?”
Silence. He didn’t want to answer. He knew she would find out on her own though.
He let out a sigh,
“His name was Peter. Peter Parker. He was sixteen. Smart kid. He was my intern. I was with him when he got dusted,”
Shit. Why did I say that last part?
“Wait, why was he on an alien planet?” Natasha stiffened.
She would find out one way or another. It’s better to just get it over with.
“Peter…he was…” Tony began, not knowing how to explain.
“Peter was Spider-Man,” he finally said it.
“Tony, what the actual fuck?” Natasha said, eyes wide.
“I didn’t force him to be Spider-Man! It’s a long story, but he had a shitty suit so I gave him a better one. He joined me on the ship after I told him to go home, he snuck on,” Tony explained.
It’s my fault he died though.
“You fucked up, but I understand,” Natasha said softly.
“I shouldn’t tried harder, it’s my fault he is dead,” Tony let out a choked sob.
“No, it isn’t. He wouldn’t turned to dust no matter where he was. On Earth, on some crazy alien planet, anywhere,” Natasha grabbed hold of his hand, looking into his eyes.
“We are going to get him back, we will get everybody back, whatever it takes.”

“Whatever it takes.”