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I'll slap you so far Google won't be able to find you

Chapter Text

  "Truth or dare but if you don't tell the truth or complete the dare you have to face the pre-determined punishment. There will be two punishments, one for the player with the least amount of points and one for the runner up. To ensure no specific punishments will be selected to target any specific person, these punishments are determined before the game starts and are agreed upon unanimously.
There will be one score keeper selected by drawing a name out of a hat, everyone else will pair up for a very intense back and forth speed round lasting a minute and thirty seconds. When the time is up, everyone will shift a seat to their left, successfully switching partners with no talking or conspiring between each other. Bonus points will be awarded to those who make it through the round without blinking, after all, anything that will increase the intensity of the game is allowed. After each player has gone against every single other player, the scores will be counted up and placed in order from Vanquishor, who has the most points to Worm, who has the least. The players who complete the most dares and answer the most questions truthfully, gaining a point for each, are safe, the bottom two on the other hand, suffer the consequences. They will have no other chance of redemption and if there is refusal to cooperate, by either loser, or both, the ones refusing will be locked in a closet until further notice. The score keeper will determine wether or not the dare was followed through with properly and with as much effort and enthusiasm as needed to do so. The score keeper will also determine if the truth told was actually the truth and reliable enough, this is left up to their jurisdiction and the quality of the questioned's poker face. Within each pair, each person my ask a max of four, risky or, for the lesser of oponents, nonrisky, questions. No repeats are allowed. Before any one of these questions is asked the gong must be rung and dead silence must descend upon the room. A spotlight, if easily accessible, will be shined on the questioned untill s/he has answered."
     "To bad Yoongi, you're here, you're queer, and you're sitting in the circle, so your playing."
     "I didn't give consen-"
     "You don't need to give consent to play in this game, if you're in the circle at the start, you're not allowed to leave until the end." Jin states gravely.
     Jimin looks curious for a second, then asks, "What's the longest amount of time a game has lasted?"
     A dark shadow seems to fall upon Jin's face as a horrible memory flashes through his mind. He licks his lips quickly then hesitantly opens his mouth tp speak.
   "Back in highschool I used to have a friend named Susie, she was indestructible, fearless even. But once she grew bored of the unfiltered honesty and unhesitant daring actions, her fearlessness ended up being her downfall."
      Jin pauses and a suspenseful silence spreads throughout the room,
     "One day while we were playing this game, Susie refused to help select the punishments. We should have realised she was up to something, as she was usually most enthusiastic about the task of creating the punishments, but as consistent Vanquishor she had rights no one else had obtained. We were not allowed to question her. We did not know what she had planned, at least, not until the very first question was asked. Her responsecwas unlike anything heard before, Susie was purposfully trying to lose. Even when this became apparent, the game could not be cancelled. And even as the questions became easier and easier to answer, she responded with answer after answer of random, unfathomable statements that could have never possibly been even slightly true in all of mankind's known and unknown history. She refused to complete even the smallest of dares, unstead often doing the complete opposite of what was asked."
      Jhope looks almost giddy with glee now, Jimin, Jungkook, and Teahyung staring wid-eyed at Jin, absolutely captivated. Even Yoongi and Namjoon were paying closer attention.
     "It soon became aparent that there was no one who could score a score lower than her, even if they tried, except no one would actually try, because they were smart, they understood the risks of coming in last, even the place if second to last was better than it. They did not want to face the punishments. So the game continued, and then came to an end. Susy was dead last, boosting me up to the title of Vanquisher. Susy then became The Worm and would now be subjected to her punishment. She seemed thrilled, eyes wide and body shaking with excitement as she awaited her reckoning."
     "Her punishment would be...", Jin paused for dramatic effect,"to beg and pleed the person next to her to let her give them a bath and not stop until they agreed."
     Jimin's hand whips up to slap onto Yoongi's face. "Shut up Yoongi, he's getting to the good part, I can tell."
     Unswayed by the disruption, Jin continues. "But if there is one thing Susie would never do, it would be to beg. As Susie is Vanquishor, Conqueror, Ruler over all the land. Susie, who was basically a Goddess by that point,  would never kneel down to those beneath her. So she refused."
     Teahyung gasps, his hand flying to join Jimin's which was still cemented to Yoongi's face.
     "Now as I'm sure you all remember, the law required that Susie would be locked in a closet until the punishment was completed. She was determined not to comply, she stayed in there for thirteen days, only allowed out for bathroom breaks and only given peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches and glasses of water for food and drink. This routine seemed as though it would continue for weeks more, maybe even months. Until one day, we opened the door for a scheduled bathroom break, and she wasn't in there. Naturally our first instinct was to check the security cameras."
     A muffled voice interjects,"You had fucking security cameras?"
     "YOONGI! NOT NOW!" This time it was Jungkook slapping his hand across Yoongi's face.
     "But what we found in the footage was not at all what we had expected. Susie had planned and performed the most intricate, thourough escape ever seen by man. In the history books it is called 'The Greatest plan'."
      Namjoon, unable to hold back his curiosity, quietly whispers, "How'd she do it?"
      Jin uses this hault in conversation to take a sip of water, the tension in the room almost as thick as his lips.
"For days Suzie had been saving the crusts of her PB and Js, pilling them up in a corner hidden away from the jailors- I mean watchers." Jin coughs.
    "Using these pieces of crust, she lured the household dogs towards a particularly thin section of walling in the back of the closet, a place where the wall had been recently broken by a shoe getting thrown in to harshly. The wall was fixed by simply filling it with plaster. The dogs, eager for more food, began to claw and dig. Eventually the wall wore away and a hole began to form. After a few days of this the hole became big enough for Suzie to contort her body through and escape into the attached room. She moved with speed given to her by the Gods and quickly and quietly covered this hole with a pile of dirty clothes, ones she knew would not be moved anytime soon and made her way towards the window. Opening it, she turned and stared directly at the camera, winked, and did a triple backflip out of the window. We havn't seen Susie to this day. Rumor has it, she has made a new life in Australia and will come visit the homes of those who participated in the game just to taunt them. I personally have seen her every so often, sometimes she'll leave notes but I quickly burn those. It's not wise to aknowledge their existance."
     Jimin's the first to speak up, his hand dropping from Yoongi's face taking Teahyung's and Jungkook's falling down with it. "So... Is that when the game ended... After the thirteen days?"
     Jin turns his head slightly towards Jimin, his hair covering his eyes. A sudden smile spreads across his face, his teeth glint in the light.
"No", he says.
"No?" Jungkook echos.
"According to the rules, the game shall not end until the punishment is fulfilled, Susie never performed her punishment, and so the game continues."
"What in the fuck, are you telling me, that you dumb fucks have continued this dumb as shit Truth or Dare game for almost three years." Yoongi asks incredulously.
"Yes, in fact, we still have people searching for her."
"Jesus christ."
     Everyone sits in stunned silence for a moment. Letting all this information sink in. Jimin opens his mouth a few times, almost like he's trying to think of something to say. Even Jungkook fidgets. Jin is blinking really fast and looking around rapidly, almost like he expects Susie to suddenly jump out at him from a random dark corner.
     Namjoon is the first to break this silence, "So, what should the punishments be?"
     Yoongi stares at him in disbelief, "You still want to play after listening to that horror story?"
     "Well yeah, it's a noon on a Saturday and I'm really freaking bored."
     "I agree." Jhope states. This is the first he's spoken since Jin began his story and his voice seems to shake the haze away from the room.
"I think we can manage a fun, lowkey game of Truth and Dare, while of course going by Jin's rules."
     Jimin and his squad of maknae nod their heads, agreeing with Jhope.
     Yoongi is left staring at a random spot on the wall hoping to save his last shread of dignity.
      Alas, this is in vain, as in approximately three point two hours, he will be knee deep in the last round of Truth and Dare, trying desperately not to come in last.

Chapter Text

     After finally deciding on two decent punishments, after multiple rounds of glaring and staring contests. They write them on a piece of paper just about the same size as a two foot long banner in solid black block letters of doom and tape them to the wall for all to see. Namjoon's name is drawn as score keeper, his nickname is dubbed 'The Delegator'. Everybody else pairs up to sit criss-cross applesauce. Jimin is situated across from Jhope who has a smirk on his face that could put the devil to shame, Jungkook is across from Jin, who's sitting way to confidently, and Teahyung is across from Yoongi, who looks like he might be the mass mudered that killed a bunch of preschoolers everybody's heard about. Namjoon, as the Supreme Delegator, starts the war.

     "Let's get this party started bitchess, Alexa, play Old Town Road!"

      With Billie Ray serenading him, Jimin starts the game.
     "Jhope, Truth Or Dare?"
     Dead silence falls upon the room. Billie Ray holds his horses. The first question has been asked. A spot light is directed towards Jimin and Jhope. A gong sounds and as the ringing dies out a smirk crawls onto Jimin's face, he was prepared for this response having readied a perfect, surely unknown question, one that will sink Jhope to the bottom within the first round. He aks,
     "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"
     "Eleven meters per second. Give me a harder one next time. Truth or Dare?" 
     Jimin's feathers are ruffled. "Dare."
     "Make a thirty second Opra in the form of a rap about yoongi. It must rhyme."

With zero hesitation and with a steady beat(Namjoon beatboxing in the background), Jimin begins.

YOUuRe hAaaiRrRrRRr's ReallY soooooofftt, YOuUUUUUuU looook like a cAAAAAAAAt, iFFf YoU wErE any sMallllllErRrRRrR, YOUuUUUu'd fit in a haaaAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTT."

Jimin clears his throat and pauses waiting for the applause to die down. He takes a sip of water.
"Jhope, Truth or Dare?"
"Give Jungkook a kiss."
     At this Jungkook's wide grin freezes on his face and his eyes widen to big ass circles as he shuffles backwards slamming himself into the wall accidentally. Jhope turns to look at him and slowly inches forward, the suspense is high, what will Jhope do? Suddenly he lunges foreward and plops a nice, wet kiss on the tip of Jungkook's nose.
     "Love you Choco Chip Kookie, Jimin, Truth or Dare?"

     Silence once again descends, the gong rings, and the spotlight shines.
     "What's the grossest thing you've had in your mouth?"
     "Your dick."
     At this moment the screaming goat alarm goes off, signalling the end of ninety seconds. It's time for Namjoon to Delegate. He clears his throat and shuffles the note cards on his lap.
     "Jhope has 2 points for succesfully answering Jimin's questions and completing the dare. Jimin you have recieved 1 point, the answer 'your dick' was deemed untruthful, and a point was not given for this response. I've seen you eat a melted twizzler you found underneath Teahyung's bed."
     "The hell, but Jhope barely kissed Jungkook tho."
     "You never specified what type of kiss it had to be", Jhope interjects.
     "SILENCE. THE DELEGATOR HAS SPOKEN. We shall move on to the next pairing. Jungkook and Jin, your time starts... Now!"
      As Jungkook is still a tad bit Jungshook, Jin takes the lead.
      "Truth or Dare?"
      A pause, "Oh uh, dare?"
      "Try to drink a bottle of water while performing a handstand, hold the handstand untill every drop of water is gone, then while still in the handstand. Perdorm a bottle flip, you have to staybin the handstand untill you can perform a lerfect bottle flip. "
      Jungkook digs deep into his internal storage of the famous Golden Maknae energy and takes a deep breath. Preparing for war. He reaches his hand out and a bottle of water appears. He places it on the ground, then his hands. It's time. Junkook flips upside down with ease and with one hand holding himself up he unscrews the water bottle. His toes are pointed. Jungkook empties the bottle but suddenly realizes the difficulty of the task, there is no water left to aid the uprightedness of the water bottle. This does not discourage him however and he calculates the force of the flip as well as the velocity if the spin. He may not know basic math but he recieved a perfect score in meme culture. The room is held in suspense, everybody is watching as the bottle flies into the air. The bottle lands and cheers break out across the room. Junkook smirks and performs a flawless backbend before standing up victoriously, whiping his mouth and asking Seokjin, "Truth or Dare?"
     Not one to be overshadowed Jin responds to the challenge with, "Dare, bitch."

     Junkook, still smirking, cracks his nuckles and stretches his arms before stating his dare.
     "Play a song by slapping the melody on your butt until someone guesses it. No talking and no facial expressions are allowed."
      For the next forty seconds nobody said anything, simply enjoying Seokjin slapping the tune of Jingle Bells onto his ass, one might have even been able to hear Teahyung whisper, "Jingle Bells, more like Jingle Balls", to Yoongi who absentmindidly nodded his head, eyes never leaving Seokjin's perfect ass. Namjoon eventually had to remind everyone, including himself, that the turns only lasted ninty seconds and that eighty of these were already wasted so hurry up and guess the song. Jimin eventually caves and reluctently sighs out a, " It's Jingle Bells."
    Without missing a beat(pun intended), Jin asks Jungkook, "Truth or Dare?"
     "Talk in a prominent accent for the next three rounds."
      This well thought out dare was perfect for the last couple seconds of the game as it legally binds Jungkook to acting like an idiot for the next three rounds and exacts Jin's revenge. Jungkook's fate is sealed within seconds as their time comes to an end and Namjoon begins dealing out the points. 1 for Jungkook with 1 to be determined and 1 for Jin, although Namjoon might have secretly added another point to Jin's tally marks for an 'exspecially enthusiastic performance',  having been hypnotised by Jin's dancing. Unbiased Delegator my ass. 
     "Now it is time for Teahyung and Yoongi. Ah yes, the wildcard and the unfortunate gay boy that's unironicly not the gayest (meaning happiest for all you noobs out there) boi at all, at the moment. Begin."
     Before Yoongi could ruin Namjoon with rebuttal insults, Teahyung has already begun the game, "Truth or Dare?"

     Namjoon almost screams," AlExA PlAy DrAmAtIc By BrItTnEy SpEaRs", there's a pause in the game as her lyrics blast throught the house. When the song fades at last,bsilence descends and two spotlights are shown upon the two challengers.  
     "What's the most childish thing you still do?"
     "Listen to you speak. Truth or Dare?"
     Teahyung pouts, "Truth."
     "What is the most childish thing you still do?"
     "That's a repeat you can't do that Yoongi."
     "Gawd shut up Namjoon I know", Yoongi turns back to Teahyung, "What's your favorite color?"
     "Octopus. Truth or Dare?"
     "What do you like the most about me?"
     "Fuck... Uh, your smile?" His eyes shift to stare at the floor. "Truth or Dare?"
     Squeals can be heard from all around the room, and Teahyung can barely get the word "Truth" out of his mouth from all the soft boi giggling.
     "Do you honestly think Octopus is a color?"
     "Yes, truth or dare?"
     "What's the meanest you've been to someone and not regretted it?"
     This is one Yoongi answers without hesitation, "One time someone tried to make fun of Jimin's cute chubby checks and I punched him cause Fuck That(tm), they are not chubby and even if they were they'd still be fucking perfect and everybody can fricking fight me on that."
     A high pitched whine and then a heavy thump could be heard in the background, ignoring this, Yoongi continues, "Truth or Dare?"
     "BLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAATTTTT", a sudden screeching goat sound fills the air startling everyone.
      Namjoon's face takes one of consentration.
     "Teahyung has recieved 2 points. Yoongi will have 2 points, one for telling Teahyung he likes his smile and one for punching Jimin's hater. However, Yoongi tried to repeat a question so one point will be taken away leaving him with a score of 1 for this round.
     "THE FUCK, that's not in the rule book. Jin, tell Namjoon that that's not in the fucking rule book."
      Jin crosses his arms defiantly, "I will do no such thing, in fact, I think it actually is in the rules; for every cuss word you say, Yoongi, a point will be subtracted. Namjoon mark off 2."

     "And that leaves Yoongi with a score of negative 1."
      Namjoon cuts Yoongi off, "AAAAANDDD mOOOVing on to the next round, would everyone please shuffle over one seat to the left."
     Now Jungkook, who has been oddly silent recently, is facing Jimin, Taehyung is against Jhope, and Yoongi is with Jin. This round of Truth and Dare passes quickly with few mishaps, Yoongi acts nicley but still manages to lose all of his points as Namjoon deems him either "not enthusiastic enough" or having given off a "strong aura of bullshit". Jungkook has chosen a Southern accent, which causes some casualties along the way and wastes about an hour minimum of playing time because A) Jimin passed out again, except this time from laughing and B) Jin's windsheild wiper laugh scared the sugargliders and they escaoed from the cage so they had to temporarily pause and create a search party to find and calm the tiny bois down. The rounds after that also pass similarly, one of them involves a visit from the police, however, because Namjoon decided to blast Mo Bamba which if course resulted in all of them cussing as loud as the possibly could. This seemed to disturbed their neighbors for some reason.

      The rounds are steady and fast paced with only a few outbursts, at least, until the 5th and final round, the one just before everyone is back to their original partner and the points are all tallied up to determine the official and final placements of the players. This, this is when Yoongi looses it. This is the very moment he's realized his fate of coming in last with a negative score of 12, Teahyung in not so close second to last with a positive score of 12. Needless to say Yoongi is Not Okay With This.
     "Namjoon why the fuck do I have a negative score, I've beeen answering the bumbass questions, I havn't been swearing as much, and I did the fucking dares."
"But you weren't enthusiastic, there was no smile on you face. Your answers were blunt and while you did cut back on the swearing, I decided to take off points for the cuss words you did use. This subtracted about seventeen points." Namjoon tapes the pen against his lip before writing down somthing, "Speaking of which, minus two."
     "SILENCE! I have made my decision. Now let us determine the place holders, I have decided the titles will be; 1st place-Vanquisher, 2nd place-Queen B, 3rd place-Right Hand Man, 4th place-Side Kick, 5th place-You Tried, and 6th place- Worm." A pause for nods of agreement.
     "Now, for the scoring. In first place, with an impressive amount of 33 points, the one which holds the title of Vanquishor, someone who took us all by surprise, the one, the only, JEON JUNGKOOK!"
     A round of scattered applause follows for the golden duckling.
     "Next! In second place with a total of 32 points and with the title of Queen B, is KIM SEOKJIN!"

     Another pause for applause.

     "In third place, with a total of 28 points and the title of Right Hand Man, is JUNG HOESUCK!"

    Jhope tries to protest this pronunciation of his name but is bowled over by Namjoon.

     "Next, in fourth place, close behind the Right Hand Man with a total of 27 points, claiming the title of Sidekick, is PARK JIMINNN!"

     More scattered applause.

     Thus leaves us with KIM TAEHYUNG in fifth place with a total of 12 points, claiming the You Tried title. While he managed to answer honestly, his responses were basically impossible to imagine and made almost absolutely no sense to the audience, therefore most of his points were not given. Sadly he must face his punishment. BUT WAIT, there's one more person, a special soul that we have saved to announce last."
     Namjoon pauses, dramatically glancing around the room, making eye contact with every single person in their circle while holding his imaginary microphone. His eyes linger on Yoongi, whose sighs could easily beat the debths in which the Titanic could ever dream of sinking too.
     "MISTER MIIIN YOOOOOONGII! This name will perhaps go down in history as quite possibly the only person to reach the title of Worm by achieving a Negative score of FOURTEEN POOOOINTSSSS!"
     "We get it Namjoon, you can stop with the announcers voice. It's 11 p.m. and my neighbors are going to call the police again." Jin interjects.
     Yoongi, however, has other more pressing issues at the moment and ignoring Jin's warning screams,"THIS GAME IS FUCKING RIGGED!"
     "Oh look another point has been deducted." Namjoon says cheerfully, winking at Jin while adding another tally mark to Yoongi's Negative Points column. "You're now at negative fifteen!"
     At this Yoongi closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and lets out a very long, very loud sigh, giving up completly.
     "Whatever", he says," I don't care anymore... What's my punishment again?"

     Silence descends. 
     "Ah yes."
     "The punishments"
     "We've been waiting patiently for this very moment."
     "Wait never mind, they're on the banner."
     "Dammit Yoongi, why couldn't you just let us finish our dramatic speech?" Jimin whines, followed by Teahyung and Jungkook sulking in the background. Yoongi ignores them and reads the banner out loud.

     "The Worm's punishment is to 'act like someone else's pet for the next hour' and the You Tried placer's punishment will be to 'do the worm'."

     Teahyung seems to move with the speed of light, gripping onto Yoongi's arm and dragging him out of the room quicker than anyone could blink. There's a moment of dead silence.
Namjoon, the genius of the group puts two and two together fairly quickly. Jin and Jhope figure it out just a bit slower than Namjoon. Jimin thinks of it next, and Jungkook last...

     "I guess... Yoongi will be Taehyung's pet for the next five minutes... Or more, while Teahyung... Does The Worm."

     "You think he realizes we ment the dance move?"

     "He's the one that suggested it..."

     Needless to say, Yoongi turns out to be a very, very, sore loser.

Chapter Text

   The next morning everyone is tired as shit. After Taehyung dragged Yoongi into his room and all anyone else could hear were Yoongi's deep moans and Taehyung making sounds like he was the actual, true Vanquishor, nobody could sleep. Either because of the realization that Taehyung was also a very kinky top as well as a very kinky bottom, the ultimate switch... Or just the fact that the really sexual noises coming from that bedroom were distracting as fuck.
     Yoongi and Taehyung couldn't even be bothered to get up in the morning, not that this is anything surprising. What was more unusual was that Jin didn't wake up at the first light of dawn like usual. At 8 a.m. Jimin and Jungkook were actually the first people to wake up. They were planning on eating breakfast then going on a light run before heading to the vocal studios to get some nice Sunday practice in but Jin hadn't made breakfast yet. So the two changed their plans and together stealthily headed to Jin and Namjoon's room with twin evil smirks plastered across their faces.
     The moment they reached the wooden entrance, they carefully twisted the door knob and eased it open. Jimin stepped into the darkness first, slowly maneuvering around clothes and books on the floor. Jungkook didn't follow Jimin in, instead staying stationed at the light switch waiting for Jimin's signal. As soon as Jimin got within a foot of the the bed where Namjoon and Seokjin are snuggled up together, he puts his hand up in the air, palm facing Jungkook, and silently counts down from five. The exact moment Jimin's fifth finger curls up Jungkook starts flashing the lights on and off making police siren sounds and Jimin throws himself onto the bed screaming and tickling Jin and Namjoon.
"Jihmihn" Jin gasps, "Ohh... My god, Jimin please stohahahhahahahp I can't breath."
"Jesus fuck Jimin Oh my God." Namjon pants.
    "This is what you get for not making us breakfast this morning." Jimin pouts
    "What, you wanted me to make you breakfast?" Namjoon looks confused, eyebrows scrunched together.
    "The heck to the no", Jungkook cuts in, "When have we ever even let you in the kitchen, let alone touch a knife."
     Jimin tilts his head towards Jungkook in agreement, "I meant Minnie Jinnie, our designated mother."
     Namjoon blinks, "You are aware that Jin owns three guns right? And could probably disable your entire body with his bare hands right? His parents didn't force him through all those years of martial arts training for nothing."
    "Yeah exactly, our designated mother."
     Shrugging his shoulders Namjoon pulls himself out of Jin's grip, who by now had already drifted off into a shallow sleep, having ignored Jimin's accusation. He drags himself out of the bed to pull on some random clothes off of the floor.
     "Let's let Jin sleep for a little more, I think he's getting a bit sick."
     Jimin looks worried for a second before his stomach grumbles and he says, "Oh okay, let's go bother Yoongi then."
     Namjoon and Jungkook follow Jimin out nit finding the flaw in this plan, leaving Jin behind to snore away peacefully. They travel down the hallway until they come across the room that would typically be shared by Tae, Jimin and Jungkook, but... was currently occupied by Tae and Yoongi for... Something other than sleeping. Namjoon knocks lightly on the door and a slight shuffling of sheets could be heard before Yoongi's gruff voice speaks up.
     "If you don't get away from my door in approximately three seconds, I'll find the key to Jin's gun case and shoot all of you untill your twelve feet under ground."
      Simultaneously, all three of them take a step back, away from the door, turning to face Hoseok and Yoongi's normally shared room unstead.
     "I guess we're bugging Hoseok now, ...he can cook right?"
     Before they even reach Hoseok's room, however, the man in question slinks through his door and shrugs his way past them heading towards the bathroom looking like death incarnate.
     Namjoon slowly spreads his arms out in front of Jungkook and Jimin, almost unconsciously protecting them from this strange creature that has taken the place of the normally optimistic Jhope. All together they back up step by step, carefully. But apparently not carefully enough as they've hit the stair case and none of them noticed so now they're all tumbling down the stairs like marbles bouncing on a hardwood floor.
     Once they have reached the bottom, they lay there for a couple of seconds, unmoving.
     "Maybe we should just go get breakfast at the cafe I work at, I could probably get us a discount." Jimin states distantly, a far away look in his eyes.
    Jungkook responds with an equally faded voice, "Sure."
    Namjoon doesn't verbally respond at all, his mind vacant, but he nodds his head slightly and that's all Jimin needs as motivation to stand up, except, he can't because Namjoon is laying on one of his legs and Jungkook on one of his shoulders.
   "Hey guys, your kind of on top of me... Get up so I can move please, or we're not going to the cafe."
      More carefully this time, they stand up from their spots on the ground and silently, very silently, the three of them make their way towards the apartment's front door. Leaving their four dead to the world friends behind them. As quietly as humanly possible they dismantle the locks and tiptoe through the entrance, closing it gently behind them with a soft click. Now in the hallway, they breath a sigh of relief. But still slightly anxious to make any noise, they wait until they are outside of the entire apartment building complex to talk again.
     "So, what do you two say we camp out at the cafe for the rest of the day?" Jimin hesitantly smiles.
     "Agreed." Namjoon and Jungkook say at the same time, sharing their own nervous grins.


     Later that aftermoon Namjoon, Jimin, and Jungkook return to their apartment after having spent over three hours hanging out, drinking coffee, and talking about the many different culture veiws of God around the world. And although at first this conversation was intresting and had Jimina nd Jungkook entranced. Jungkook eventually had to cut Namjoon off by saying, "we should go check on the den of snakes", as after three hours he and Jimin's brains were about explode from all the new information and no amount of coffee could help.
     When they opened the front door the first thing they saw was Hoseok sleeping on the couch with a small smile in his face and with Yoongi's head resting against his shoulder. The second thing they regustured was the coffee table in front of them splintered and cracked, the pillows scattered across the room and Yoongi seeming to be tied up in a blanket, burrito style.
Namjoon looks slightly worried for about a half of a second before he remembers who exactly he really should be worrying about. He shakes it off then wanders upstairs to check up on Jin leaving Jimin standing in the doorway observing Yoongi and Hoseok, Jungkook has wandered into the kitchen searching for a suitable 3:51 p.m. snack.
      Jimin walks up to the squished together couple on the couch and silently squats in front of them. He stays like this for at least a few minutes just observing them. 'Was there an argument? No...', Jimin notes that unstead of showing signs of distress Yoongi seems to be content. 'Then maybe the broken table was an accident?', he thinks, "but then why is Yoongi a burrito?" Jimin's eyebrows forrow together in deep concentration, his eyes are sqeezed shut and his fingers are laced tightly together, one of his index fingers is taping inconsistently on his other hand's nuckle. While he thinks his head just noticably bobs along with his thought process, either tilting from side to side or giving small nods and shakes. 'Why would Hoseok be mad at Yoongi? He did seem really grumpy this morning, but I figured he just didn't get a good nights sleep. Although he is the deepest sleeper out of all of us, it takes a lot to wake him up...' Jimin's eyes snap open, "Ah HaH! It's because he was alone, Hobi can never sleep when he's by himself!"
     "Jimin shut the fuck up Hope just fell alseep and I'm trying to keep it that way." Yoongi furiously whispers, glaring at the offender in front of him. Jimin basically throws himself backwards having been so deep in thought Yoongi's voice had the equivalent effect of a mass murderer sprinting through the front door with a flamethrower on and burning, waving it around blindly. Jimin hits the broken table with so much force you could hear it crack more.
     Jimin takes a deep breath and rubs his back, almost positive he feels blood. He turns to throw a glare of his own right back at Yoongi. However, on noticing that this burrito boi can't do much else then glare, Jimin reaches out to revenge bop Yoongi on the nose. He has to pull his hand back quickly, though, because Yoongi snaps his teeth at his fingers, no hesitation detected, and snarls at him. Besides Yoongi, Hoseok suddenly shifts and both of the currently conscious people in the room freeze, staring apprehensivly at the pile of sunshine before them silently begging that he stays asleep. But Hoseok only hugs Yoongi tighter before snuggling into the couch peacfully again.
     Jimin quickly snaps a picture of them to use as black mail later before sprinting out of the room and into the kitchen to show Jungkook.


     While Jimin was busy bothering Yoongi, Namjoon had gone upstairs to check on Jin, only to find him on the phone with tears in his eyes and an angry frown contorted onto his face while angerly whispering into the phone's speaker.
      "I've told you a million times, father, that I do not want to become the CEO of your chain of resturants. I have no intrest in buisness management. I have taken every single class needed to become a highly skilled chef, classes, I feel I should mention, that I payed for with my own damn money, and I already have a decent job set up at a well paying resturant that offers promotions that will not only increase your pay but shift you to their more successful resteraunts on their chain. With my skill I will easily become Head Cheif of their finest establishment within. The. Year." With that final statement Jin snaps his pink flipphone closed and blindly throws it onto the bed. Without even turning around he snaps out a quick, "I don't want to talk about it", to who he assumes is Namjoon.
     Namjoon, who's already used to helping with damage control caused by Jincs asshole dead, quickly changes the subject.
     "Yoongi is currently a burrito downstairs being used as a teddy bear by Hoseok if you want to get the blackmail while you can."
     "That would honestly be great."
Jin wips the last of his tears away from his eyes and together they walk downstairs, there phones out and ready.

Chapter Text

After calming down with his friends and watching a bunch of Marvel movies Sunday night and then snuggling with Namjoon for the rest, Jin feels empowered again. He's a bad bitch and no one can hurt him. Using this burst of energy he decides to go on a morning run with Jungkook. He wanders toward the shared room between the three maknaes only to Open the door to find Jungkook and Taehyung glued to the tv absorbed in the video games their playing and Jimin draped across their laps watching youtube videos on his phone. The two bunk beds set up in the room have blankets tied between them in what looks like a partially taken down blanket fort. The one bunk bed is actually a loft bed with a hammock underneath it, which makes Jin wonder how many times one of them has slept in that and fallen out of it in the middle of the night.
"Hey kookie, want to go on a run with me?"
"Want to go on a run?"
"A what?"
"A run."
"With who?"
"With me."
"What with you?
"A run?"
There's a pause, clearly Jungkook would not be coherent to the world until he finished up his game of Overwatch. Jin allows this considering it's basically Jungkook's job and he actually gets paid quite a bit for every game won. So Jin waits it out, laying down on the hammock and picking up a random DS, Jin dug around in the bucket of games until he found Cooking Mama. Contrary to popular belief, Jin plays games other than Super Mario Kart and is actually a beast. He sits there playing Cooking Mama for at least another thirty minutes before calling it quits and flipping out of the hammock. He sneaks up behind Jungkook before snatching his controller, killing off everybody else and quickly ending the game. He then chucks the controller at Jimin before hooking his arms under Jungkook's armpits and dragging him out of the room.
"Hyung wtf."
"Don't use slang at me. I'm stressed and I need to go on a run and I want you to come with me because you'll push me harder. Also you need a break from gaming or you'll lose all your sponsors. Don't argue, I saw you making some shitty moves out there."
"Fine", Jungkook gives in.
"Let's just run around the neighborhood, I don't feel like driving all the way to a park."
"Sounds good, let' go."
Jungkook and Jin grab their headphones before heading to the front door to put on their shoes. They plop a sticky note on the door to tell everyone they went on a run. There's already a note from Jimin there saying he went to work and would get off around 6 p.m. and too come visit him if they wanted. Underneath that there's a note from Hoseok and Yoongi with an arrow pointing up.
"I take it that means their with Jimin", Jin says before turning to Jungkook, "Ready to go?"
"Yeah, let's get this bread!"
"The two of them walk to the elevator and as soon as they hit the ground floor they start running. They end up running for a lot longer amount of time than either of them thought they would. It's just so nice outside, the sun is shining and the tree leaves rustle when the cool breeze blows. Jin's music is a nice and quiet piano solo and his feet plant into the ground to the beat. He has no idea what Jungkook is listening to but everytime Jin glances over he can see a small grin on his face, his eyes glancing around at their surroundings. With how much Jungkook stays inside ‘working’ aka playing his video games, he rarely gets to spend time to just go outside and run wherever. His usual morning runs with Jimin are always short and to the point, both of them having stricter schedules with classes and work.
After a while of keeping pace with Jungkook, Jin notices something strange. Every time they turned a corner, he would see the same black car. At first, Jin thinks nothing of it, like maybe they're just looking for their friends house and are lost, or a restaurant or something. But after a full twenty minutes of running, the car is still everywhere they go. Deja Vu hits Jin hard and he comes to a sudden halt and holding out his arm to stop Jungkook too. He quickly grabs Jungkook's wrist and drags him down a different street. Both of them are running almost double their previous speed and panting loudly. Jungkook is confused as fuck and Jin is steadily getting angrier and angrier as the car manages to always be in front of them. They are running sporadically now, sprinting down random streets, sometimes backtracking and sometimes climbing over fences as well. Doing anything possible to lose the car.
Eventually they find a somewhat secluded alley that seems void of people so they take a minute to catch their breaths. Jin's fist suddenly flies out to slam into the brick wall, the sound breaking through their pants.
'Shit’, he mutters under his breath. Startled, Jungkook looks up at him and when he does, he can see why the sudden burst of anger. They're completely blocked in by pitch black, sleek cars. Men in black suits get out of the cars, their most prominent feature being the guns in their hands. One of them steps forward casually gesturing with his gun, he looks like some kind if cross between the Joker and Jim Moriarty, except Korean. The insanity levels are evident however.
"Seokie, I thought you knew better then to hang up on your own father", he pouts, "It isn't nice."
"What do you want, Kim Seongjun."
The guy has the gall to look offended.
"No no no, Kim Seongjun is too formal, call me daddy", he winks before motioning to the suited men behind him, his face holding none of the playfulness from moments before, "Get them in a car, both of them. Now!"
"No! You leave Jungkook out of this, he's got nothing to do with you nor your stupid businesses." Jin's practically fuming now, his ears are beet red and there's a snarl on his lips. He looks about one second away from lunging at the men in front of them and tearing them apart limb by limb, Jungkook shivers.
"Jin... Let's just go, they have guns", he whispers, his chocolate eyes wide and scared.
Jin glances at Jungkook in his peripheral, keeping Seongjun in his direct line of sight. At the image of Jungkook standing pressed against the wall behind them, his eyes massive, the rage and tension seem to melt from Jin's body. He realizes that he's not alone in this situation, he has a person with him whom he cares about more than anything in the world. He can't risk Jungkook getting hurt. He turns to face his dad who's looking at him with a disgusting smirk dancing across his lips, he planned this. Jin almost loses it again right then and there at that realization, but Jungkook takes hold of his hand and squeezes it tight as he drags them both into the car.


Hoseok and Yoongi decide to go visit Jimin around 10 a.m., about a half hour after Jimin left to go to work. What can they say, it's boring just sitting around the house all day and besides, Yoongi has a song he needs to write and what better a place to get inspiration than from a coffee shop that's always filled with interesting types if people.
They walk through the door casually, not at all startled by the chime sounding to alert the servers of a new customer, and head to their usual seats, at the counter right in front of where Jimin makes the drinks. Moments after the bell rings, Jimin appeared out of the backroom ready to take orders only to realize it was just Hoseok and Yoongi.
“Hobi and Yoongles, I haven't seen you guys in forever.” He says sarcastically while grinning.
“If you call me Yoongles one more time I'm never coming here again.” Yoongi feigns getting up to leave.
“Fiiiine, fine, I was just messing with you don't leeeeave. Pleeeease.”
Yoongi plops back down on his seat satisfied, “If you insist.”
For the next couple of minutes they just sit there talking, until more customers start to wander in for their lunch breaks. Hoseok and Yoongi hang out at their table either doing homework or in Yoongi's case, researching people. His song has to be in the form of a poem and about a random person he sees around him. This actually takes him about fifteen minutes to create so he spends the rest of the time making winky faces at Jimin and trying his hardest to distract him from working.
“Hey dumbass, I ordered my drink six minutes ago, where the fuck is it?”
Apparently, Yoongi succeeded a little to well in his distraction challenge. Besides him Hoseok stiffens, his full attention at the random dude who decided now would be the perfect time to channel all of his assholeness into one social interaction. In front of the two people who are probably the most protective of Jimin in the world. Well, needless to say, he done fucked up. In synch Yoongi and Hoseok stand up, they slowly stroll towards the asshat until they're right in front of him. Asshat decides to challenge Yoongi first.
“The fuck do you want midget? Mad that I'm yelling at your other midget boyfriend? Well, too bad.”
“Mad?”, Yoongi chuckles, then continues, speaking in a low whisper, “No I'm not mad, annoyed? Yes. Do you honestly think you can come in here, order a ridiculous fucking drink that you definitely already know will take awhile to make and then decide to yell about it to the person who is currently in the process of making said fucking drink, in loud enough tones so as to ensure that everyone's day is spoiled by your loudmouth ass? Cause last time I checked, that isn't in the book on human fucking decency.”
Hoseok decides to chime in with a savage, “What he said. Bitch.”
The guy looks properly terrified now, glancing around the cafe looking for any support. No one gives him any, of course, because ‘Who does this jackass think he is spoiling my thirty minutes of break I get from my shitty ass job once every day?’ Realizing he's fucked up the dude takes a couple of steps backwards almost like he's about to make a run for it. Which he does, but before he can make it to the door, Jimin calls out to him with a cheery voice and a bright smile on his face.
“Your drinks ready sir! I hope you enjoy it!”
The dude speed walks back up to the counter throwing a twenty at Jimin before snatching his drink and basically throwing himself out the door yelling, “keep the change”, like that makes up for anything. The cafe erupts into applause for Yoongi.
“Whelp”, Jimin grins, “Looks like your guys’ drinks are free today.”
Hoseok and Yoongi sit back down on their seats as the cheers fade and the normal busy quietness returns to the cafe. Yoongi softly smiles to himself as Hoseok pats him on the back. Jimin smiles at the both of them for a little bit longer, silently thanking them for being in his life, before distractedly changing the subject.
“I wonder what the rest of them are doing right now?”


Screen cuts to Jin and Jungkook sitting tied and gagged on a fancy-as-fuck white couch facing an old wooden door that has just opened to reveal Jin’s insane stepfather holding three glasses and a bottle of vodka