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Bedded, Bound, and Bespoked

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He couldn’t stop holding her. His perfect little sister. “Mum, she is getting so big.” She had fought her nap hard, not wanting to take her eyes off of Eggsy, but no matter how they fight it, 14 month olds need sleep. “Daisy, one day I am going to show you all the best trouble to get into,” he promised. He looked up and saw his mum taking yet another photo. “Mum,” he sighed, exasperated. “That’s enough.”

“Before you leave I am getting a photo of you holding her in uniform, young man,” Michelle warned. “And before you complain, you want a photo of that, go viral, you’ll never lack a date again. Oh! We should do the so very casual, look I fell asleep with a baby against me while shirtless picture.”

“Mum!” Eggsy would have yelled but he wasn’t waking Daisy. “Are you mental?”

“You barely date, this might help. Get internet people all over you, offering to marry you. It happens.”

“Do not pimp me out, I’m fine.”

“When did you last date?” Michelle put her phone down. “Hmm, David a year ago? That was a month. I only know his name because of that very unfortunately timed arse dial that happened.”

Eggsy flushed. “We were never to speak of that again.”

“And it was Brigid before that,” Michelle said. “That was a whole three months.”

“Mum, you know how busy I am,” Eggsy replied. He reluctantly put Daisy down in her play yard and they went to the kitchen. He put on the kettle. “I’m away 10 months of the year, with another in extra training, that’s no life for someone to want.”

“People manage. I managed.”

“Yeah, but were you happy?”

“I loved your father so much. It was worth it. Somebody will think you are worth it. Or they would if you got out there more when you were on leave. Speaking of, just showing up at my door? When you weren’t due for another two months?”

Eggsy shrugged. “Thing happened.”

“What thing?”

“Made Corporal, won a pretty big marksmanship competition, got some extra leave and a bit of bonus money.” Eggsy really hoped his mother’s squeal didn’t wake up Daisy. “Don’t fuss.”

“Excuse me?” Michelle smacked his shoulder and gave him a huge hug. “I am going to 100% fuss. Eggsy, that is huge. Oh baby, I am so proud of you!” Eggsy cursed when the hug grew so tight he was having difficulty breathing.

“Mum, skip arm day a bit, you are making some of the guys I work with look puny.” Eggsy was feeling light headed. “Mum, serious. Let go.” When she did he took a deep breath. “What the hell are you lifting these days?”

She grinned. “Mum arms,” was all she said. “Bet my gun show is better than yours.”

“No, you just want me to take off my shirt so you can get creepy photos to pimp me out to your friends cousins or little brothers or something.” Eggsy made them both tea and they sat. “Not that big a deal.”

“Darling, it is a very big deal. How long are you home for?”

“I have ten days,” Eggsy replied and dunked the bag up and down a few times and reached over and tossed it in the sink. “You mind me kipping here?”

“Of course not,” Michelle insisted. “Imagine you’ll want to spend some time with Jamal and your friends though.”

“Yeah, a bit,” Eggsy agreed. “Mostly just want some quiet.”

“Quiet happens here, sometimes.” She grabbed her phone and sent a quick text. “There, Sean is going to pick up your favourite takeaway for dinner. Even a bottle of champagne.”

“That sounds like fuss.”

“Try and stop me,” Michelle said.

“So you and’s all good yeah?” Eggsy liked the guy, though he had appeared long after Eggsy had joined the marines, so hadn’t spent a lot of time with him. But his mum seemed happy, and he loved Daisy to bits, so it was pretty good.

“It is,” Michelle promised him. “Sean is very good. And a wonderful father. Different than Lee. Quieter. But union job, steady, plus being an airline mechanic, he gets really good ticket offers. He’s talking about all of us going on vacation, one of your visits.”

“That could be fun,” Eggsy agreed to make his mum happy. They chatted about his promotion and what he could about his job with the ATG, which wasn’t a heck of a lot. When Daisy woke he waved his mum off and spent the afternoon with her. Dinner was great even if the way his mum kept gushing was embarrassing. He spent a couple days just resting and playing with Daisy and on the weekend he crashed at Jamal’s and they went clubbing and he could have hooked up but he didn’t really feel like it. His civilian clothes were all a little off. Not quite in fashion and he thought about shopping but he wanted something different than what he had always bought.

He went to Marks and Sparks and bought some denim and vests and it was okay but still not right. They looked good, but not as good as he did in his dress uniform. He didn’t want to parade out and about in that, it always caused a lot of bother, but he wanted the feel he got when he wore the gear.

Eggsy decided to go into Harrods and immediately walked out again. Place felt too big and wrong and just a whole whack of no. He hadn’t grown up poor poor, but there hadn’t been a lot of spare money ever, and the clothes in Harrods felt needlessly upcharged. He wanted nice but nice that felt worth it.

Eggsy headed back to his mum’s house, that had been his grandparents’ place before they moved to a retirement community and Sean was on the ground, making Daisy fly on his feet. “I know Mum does not like that.”

“Certain things are for mums, and certain things are for das when mums are out getting their hair done,” Sean replied and made plane noises and Daisy giggled. “Daisy is safe.”

“Innit more about your back than Daisy’s safety?” Eggsy asked.

“What heating pads are for,” Sean said and kept flying Daisy who kept giggling. “Good outing?”

“No,” Eggsy admitted. He put his few purchases down and went to the kitchen and came back with a beer. “I mean, got some stuff. But not what I wanted.”

Sean brought Daisy down and set her on the ground next to him. When he tried to get up he groaned. “Uhh, Eggsy, little help?”

Eggsy snorted and went over and hauled the man up. “Might want to grab one of those heating pads.”

“And a beer,” Sean agreed. He put on a dvd for Daisy and she squealed when Elmo began to dance on the screen and she shook along with the muppet. Sean came back and plugged the heat pad in and settled against it on the couch with Eggsy. “Fuck that feels better,” he sighed. He tapped his bottle against Eggsy’s. “Cheers.”

“Cheers,” Eggsy echoed.

“So what had you wanted?” Sean asked.

“Nice clothes?” Eggsy shrugged. “Wore my trackies to the club the other night and didn’t really love them like I used to? So wanted different. Got some, but not exactly what I wanted. Tried Harrods but that place is just a whole lot of fuck no. It’s all tacky and expensive.”

Sean nodded in agreement. “What about a tailor shop?”

“What like Savile Row or such? Can’t fucking afford that.”

“Fu!” Daisy tried to say. “Fu, fu, fu!”

Eggsy’s eyes widened in horror. “Oh god, Mum’s going to kill me.”

Sean snorted. “I mean I don’t love that either, but a bit funny.” He settled back into the heating pad a little bit more. “And no can’t afford to get everything there, but like one or two things? I’ve done it.”

“On a mechanic’s money?” Eggsy looked at him. “How?”

“Chief mechanic. And got a Christmas bonus. Went and got two pairs of trousers, didn’t I? Them shops some of them, have a what you call it, ready to wear line. Go in, get off the rack but they still fit it to you. Cheaper, but you get the couple pieces that last. I’m don’t gain a stone, I’m set for all weddings and funerals for the next few years.”

“They weren’t dicks to you? Shops like those are always dicks to us.”

“Nah, skip any that carry the sign that says a royal shops here and all they care about is your money.”

“Not a bad idea, thanks,” Eggsy said. He watched Daisy. “You don’t mind me being here?”

“Nope, you are Michelle’s kid and Daisy’s big brother. And what I can tell, a good man. This is your home, yeah?”

“You willing to help me stop Mum’s crusade to get me a date?”

“Eggsy, I’m sometimes on a runway jogging out of the way of planes getting ready for takeoff. Hasn’t scared me in a couple decades. Getting in your mum’s way when she gets that determined look in her eyes? Hell no.”

“So much for masculine solidarity.”

“You are a marine, you get plenty of that day to day. You are fine. I should start on tea.” Sean tried to get up. “Or I’ll watch a little more Elmo. Scintillating dvd, only watched it thirty times so far. Might have missed something.”

“I’ll get tea going,” Eggsy offered. He kissed Daisy’s head on the way by. He got a few things going and then sat at the table with his laptop and googled tailor shops. There were a bloody lot of them. He narrowed the parameters a bit, and poked about. He figured no webpage, no way did he want to shop there which removed a good few of them. He did as Sean suggested and removed the ones that had royal patronage and then removed the ones that absolutely no prices on their webpage. No price he definitely could not afford. He had it down to half a dozen places when he heard his mum come in and got busy with family matters.

In the morning he took a look at the places after he was done taking Daisy to the park. A couple were blech and sounded snooty, and then one had potential but the clothes were just a bit too boring. Sure he wanted classic but not old man.

The Kingsman webpage didn’t suck. It had prices on stuff like cuff links and ready to wear listed with make an appointment for bespoke. But they had a look book as they called it and yeah they had a few basic things but then other things too. Blue plaid trousers, an orange smoking jacket, and a leather waistcoat. Mix of classic and cool. It felt right.

He thought of the bonus he got and how much he had socked away in savings. He figured why not go the whole route just once in his life. Doubtful he could swing a full suit, but maybe trousers, shirt, and waistcoat. Bet he’d look pretty good in that. You couldn’t book an appointment online which was a bit annoying but he could make one phone call.

Eggsy scrolled the webpage a bit more as he called. He wondered if this was a stupid idea, but it felt right.

“Kingsman Tailors,” the voice said. Sounded pretty posh.

“Uh, yeah, hiya,” Eggsy cleared his throat. “Sorry. Corporal Unwin. Eggsy.” Oh god, they’d never let him through the doors. “I was hoping to book an appointment.”

“Of course,” the voice said and the tone didn’t change at all which Eggsy appreciated. “What were you looking for?”

“Trousers and maybe a shirt. Waistcoat? Or two pairs of trousers, one classic, one a bit more flash? Not really sure, my first time doing this.” Eggsy figured he was sounding like a moron. “I was hoping I could look at a few options and then figure it out?”

“That is not a problem,” the man reassured, “And very common.”

Eggsy breathed a little easier. Okay maybe this could be saved. He thought of his bonus cheque and why the fuck not, right? “I don’t care about the cost,” he said. They always said that in movies and on the telly. To sound important. He hoped it made him sound important.

“I see,” the voice had a slightly different inflection. “Cost is no object to you?”

“Yeah, no object,” Eggsy agreed though it was definitely a fucking object. He decided to repeat it. “Don’t care about the cost. I just want the service.”

“Of course sir, and we are happy to provide the best service in the city,” the man said. “Now we had a cancellation for tomorrow. A three hour window, that should suit your needs I believe. Would one o’clock be acceptable?"

“Fuck yeah,” Eggsy said and winced. “I mean, yes that is acceptable.”

“Thank you, Corporal. We look forward to meeting any and all of your needs.”

“Sure, see you tomorrow.” Eggsy hung up. “Well, damn.”

Looked like he was going to be getting some fancy togs. Three hours was a long time, but not like he knew how long a bespoke fitting took. He need to make sure that he didn’t wear the pants with the hole in arse cheek.

That’d be embarrassing as hell.

Chapter Text

There was a moment where Eggsy debated running out in the morning and buying a suit to go to Kingsman but his mum took one look at him and pointed a finger. “You are thinking a bad thought. Whatever it is, just no.”

“I can’t go to the tailors in my trackies.”

“You bought new clothes yesterday wear those,” Michelle said. She was cutting up banana for Daisy and handed him a slice and he took it.

“But -”

“They are fine, or if you want wear your uniform,” she suggested.

“Not wearing work clothes,” Eggsy answered. He held out his hand and got a few more slices of banana. “New stuff will do. And no you aren’t allowed to take a million photos. Hell, clothes might not even be ready before I leave.”

“I’ll pick up then, and hold them for you,” she promised. “Now how about you take the food to your sister before you eat it all?”

Eggsy took it to Daisy who was putting her stuffies in a row and getting frustrated when they wouldn’t stay up. “Want help?”

“No!” she shouted even as she handed him one.

Eggsy laughed and gave her the snack and settled in. He decided to go out for lunch, restless at home waiting for the appointment. He ended up throwing most of it out. It was fine, really good, but he was too nervous about the appointment. What was he thinking? Guys like him didn’t go to places like that. Maybe he should just not show. But that would be a dick move, and he couldn’t do that. There was every shot he walked in the door, they’d kick him out anyways. He psyched himself up on the walk over.

Fuck the place looked more posh in person than it did on the website. But the clothes in the display were gorgeous and not boring. And he really wanted some. He opened the door and went in. He was grateful there didn’t seem to be anyone else in the shop at the moment just a man at a table. “Hiya, I have an appointment?”

The man looked up and he totally looked like what a tailor would look like on a show or movie, which was comforting. “Corporal Unwin,” he said.

“Eggsy, yeah?” Eggsy scratched his neck. “I uhh, don’t know what I am supposed to do.”

“Would you like a cuppa?”

“That’d be brilliant,” Eggsy agreed and found himself on a stool by the tall table and flipping through a book of what they made. He flipped a page. “Leather waistcoat looks pretty cool.”

“It does but, you are looking for more...classic pieces and I am not sure that would...suit your needs.”

Eggsy laughed a little, “Suit,” he explained when he got a polite look. “Guess that stopped being funny for you a few decades ago, huh?”

“I always find it a little amusing, sir.”

“Just Eggsy.” He kept flipping pages, “I’m lost man, what do I pick?”

“I promise you will not be disappointed with any choice you made but I can steer you. Do you want classic or modern?”

“Is in between an option?” Eggsy asked and drank his cuppa. “Right, what is better, shirt, waistcoat, and trousers, or shirt and two trousers?”

“A waistcoat adds specifics, but I think you are looking more general for this first visit.”

Eggsy snickered, “Bruv, I ain’t going to be able to afford a second.”

“One never knows, people are always pleased with our services,” Andrew replied. He flipped the book back. “Now a crisp white shirt, is the basic beginning place, and I think what you are looking for most.”

Eggsy looked at it, it looked like any he could pick up at a shop, but he was sure handmade was different. “That makes sense,” he nodded seriously. “And then two trousers, one classic, one maybe a little stronger?”

“Stronger, hmm?” The man flipped through the book.

Something caught Eggsy’s eye. “Fuck, wait, what was that?” The man flipped back and Eggsy sighed. “That is just brilliant.” It was an orange velour smoking jacket. It looked so soft in the photo. It was insane, and awesome, and the classic cut and the searing colour blended together in a way that just viscerally appealed to him. “No way I can afford that right?” He started to flip the pages but the man stayed his hand.

“Our owner would certainly not let you purchase that,” the man gave a faint smile. “But a few of our tailors are former military, including the manager, and I think discounts can be arranged.”

“Really?” things like that never happened to Eggsy.

“Really,” the man said.

“Now the classic white shirt, the orange jacket, I think a simple but strong black trouser in a sinfully soft wool is the the best way to go. Wouldn’t you agree?” the man gave him a wink. “That feels like the correct choice for your first time here, doesn’t it?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy agreed. “It does.” He bit his lip. “How does the next part go?”

“Well first, you must choose your complimentary item,” the man said. “Tie or pocket square, belt or cuff links?”

“You are already giving me a discount, you don’t have to give me free shit too,” Eggsy protested. “I won’t see you get in trouble with your boss.”

“You are a kind man, but this offer is extended to all our clients. And if I may, you have the look of a man who needs a pocket square, if I may be so bold.”

“Yeah, you are definitely right about that.” Eggsy nodded. “That’s my order then.”

“Of course, we do ask that you prepay, but if you are unsatisfied with our service, we will make alternate arrangements or offer a refund.”

“Sure,” Eggsy agreed and they moved over. Eggsy paled at paying that much for three pieces of clothing, but it was what he came here to do and he was going to do it. “What now?”

“Now you go into dressing room three,” the man gave him a smile. “I would recommend hanging your jumper on the third hook on the wall. And please enjoy the services Kingsman offers you.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy said. He saw the number three on a door and went in. The dressing room was larger than he expected, really nice. Definitely looked like something that would be in a BBC show. He wondered why the man had been so specific about hook three, but figured it was one of those things that posh blokes would know. He stripped off the jumper and hung it on the hook and when a door opened he jumped back and reached for a side arm that wasn’t there.

He saw a bog area and nodded. He supposed these things took a while, and having that discreet for clients made sense and hell he did have to wee. He went in and took a quick piss and washed his hands and clued in there was more. Eggsy ventured forward and holy fuck the room was huge. Giant bed just in the middle of the room, chairs that looked so comfortable and wood paneling with handles. He had always been too curious for his own good and opened one and just stared at the shelves with perfectly displayed dildos and butt plugs.

Eggsy started to laugh. Oh my god, the place sold bespoke sex toys on the side, probably when not enough prats needed a new suit for a royal garden party. He opened a few more doors and couldn’t stop laughing at all the sex toys. It was brilliant. He would have never suspected the nice old guy out there would sell things like these. Guess the posh service industry needing side hustle just like most people.

He heard the swish of a door and winced. Bugger being caught in here wouldn’t be good. But the guy had told him to use the hook, so he was supposed to see all this? Eggsy was a bit confused. But he turned to face his tailor. He had a mental picture of the man, and it was similar to the guy in front.

Eggsy blinked when he looked at the man.

He did not look at all like the guy in the front.

He was older, but not ancient. Bald, thick glasses. Bloody hell his jumper looked soft. And legs. He had long legs.

“Hello, Eggsy. How are you?”

Bloody hell, Scottish. “Good?” Eggsy cleared his throat. “I’m good. Sorry for uhhh...poking around?”

“Oh that was a bit naughty wasn’t it?” the man moved forward. “Should we poke about like that?”

“No, sir,” Eggsy automatically said and frowned. “But the guy told me to use that hook.”

“True, but I don’t believe he said open anything.”

“Fair,” Eggsy had to agree. “Guess we go back out there, do this?” He had to look up as the man stepped into his space. “Right? You are my tailor?”

“I am,” he agreed. “My name is Merlin, and I am going to make you feel good.” He leaned in and his mouth was right against Eggsy’s ear. “Would you like me to make you feel good?” He gently bit Eggsy’s earlobe.

Eggsy only managed not to collapse against the guy through sheer force of will. “This is not quite what I expected?” Tailor appointments were really not what he thought.

Merlin moved back a little and grasped his chin firmly. “What did you expect, your order was quite clear. Do I not appeal?”

“No, you are fucking gorgeous,” Eggsy blurted out. This was the set up for a goddamn porno. “All clean?”

“Aye, and condoms will be used,” Merlin said. “Bareback was not a part of your order, it does require advance ordering.”

That confused Eggsy a lot, but the way the man was staring at him made it hard to think. “What happens next?”

“You let me give you everything you ordered.”

“Okay?” Eggsy gulped a bit.

“Okay, sir,” Merlin said gently but it was clearly an order and Eggsy was used to following orders.

“Okay, sir,” Eggsy repeated dutifully.

“Lovely,” Merlin praised. “Now please remove your clothes.”

Eggsy nodded and began to do as the man suggested. This was weird as hell but the guy was hot, and it had been forever since he had more than a crap hand or blow job with another bloke in the barracks. He decided what the hell. He was soon naked in front of the man.

“Let us begin,” Merlin said softly and kissed Eggsy.

Eggsy wished he had known tailors did this sort of thing, would have made an appointment a lot earlier in life.

Chapter Text

It was a soft kiss, and Eggsy wondered how hard up he was, that one bloody kiss had him feeling all loose and gooey. Maybe he should have hooked up at a club, but that wouldn’t have felt like this. The bloke’s lips were gentle as they brushed against his again and again and Eggsy opened his mouth on a sigh, and was sure that the kiss would get more aggressive. But it didn’t. It stayed soft and controlled. The tongue that pressed in his mouth didn’t choke him like so many french kisses did. He understood what the fuss was with this bloke.

Eggsy moved back a little and was relieved that the man let him. That he wasn’t held when he needed space. “Your name really Merlin? Bit odd, innit?”

“An assumed name for work,” he said easily. “Somedays I respond to it more than my real name.”

“What’s your real name?” Eggsy was a little curious.

“That is mine,” Merlin replied calmly but in a firm tone.

“Sorry, sir,” Eggsy said automatically and fuck the man had a charming smile. He preened under the happy look. “What uhhh, what happens now?” He wondered if maybe this was a sales pitch for some of the items in the cupboards. It was a really good sales pitch.

“Now, you be a good lad for me, and climb onto the bed and lay down on your stomach.”

Eggsy went very still. “I don’t...Knew I’d have to trust a tailor at my back but…” it was still a stranger and he was a hell of a lot more vulnerable than he expected.

“I mean ye no harm,” Merlin promised. “I spent 20 years in the RAF, I sympathize. But I promise, you are safe here. All I want is to make you feel good, Eggsy. Let me make you feel good. Wouldn’t you like not to think, just for a little while? Just follow what I ask of you, and it will be worth it, sweet one.”

“I take orders all the damn time, what makes you think I want to take them right now?”

“Oh I bet you cause all sorts of delightful problems for your sergeant don’t you?” Merlin laughed a little. “You will want to follow my orders, but nothing will have ever made you feel as good as I do. I am very good at my job, Eggsy. Lie down on the bed, and I will make you feel everything.”

Fuck but that voice was hypnotic.

“You won’t hurt me?”

“That wasn’t in your order, and not my general area,” Merlin replied.

“Ok?” Eggsy shook his head. This was weird and he should walk out. But Merlin was hot, and god he was so hungry for a decent fuck. He went and lay down on the bed on his stomach. He rested his head on his arms, hands fisted ready to fight.

“Look at the line of you,” Merlin said. “All that coiled strength, ready to defend yourself. Ready to fight. I bet you are always ready to fight. It will be a pleasure to watch you relax and let go.”

Eggsy heard a noise and looked over. Merlin was stripped off his jumper and shirt and mother fucker. “Holy shit, look at that ink.” The guy had full sleeves, one that was all celtic knots and vines and flowers with snakes crawling through and the other looked like armor. “Fucking hell, bruv.” There was nothing on his chest but his nipples were pierced. Eggsy wanted to tug on one with his teeth.

“I take it I please?”

Eggsy nodded a little. He pouted though when Merlin kept the trousers on. “Could get naked?” Eggsy suggested.

“No, sweet one, not yet,” Merlin said and went to a cupboard. He pulled out a small box and brought it over to the bed. “What smells make you happy?”

“I don’t know,” Eggsy said. “Stuff just smells.” He buried his head when Merlin laughed. But relaxed into the touch that was laid at the small of his back.

“That is true, but some smells that appeal to some don’t appeal to others. For example, sandalwood.” He opened and stopper and Eggsy breathed in and couldn’t stop the way his nose crinkled. “Citrus,” Merlin said and it was okay. “Cherry blossom,” he said with a third and oh that was nice.

“Bit girly?”

“It is just a scent and if make you happy, what is the problem?” Merlin asked. The box was put on the table and then Merlin was sitting on his arse and oil poured down his back and then Merlin’s hands were on him.

Oh, he was definitely on board with this part of a fitting. Eggsy melted at the way the hands seemed to find every single muscle in his back and loosen them up. The guy had strong and sure hands and fuck but Eggsy was feeling better than he had in a long time. “You are good at that,” Eggsy sighed.

“I am,” Merlin agreed and he moved down and his hands were on Eggsy’s arse and thighs and the massage took a bit of a turn, nails scrapes, different pressure and a finger just pressed against his hole but didn’t try to push in. Eggsy opened his legs a bit more and Merlin’s laugh was low and husky. “Not yet,” he said. He continued down Eggsy’s legs. “Roll over, sweet one.”

“Sheet will get yucky,” Eggsy said.

“I don’t mind, now I told you to roll over,” Merlin’s voice went a little more serious again and Eggsy shivered.

He rolled over and looked up at Merlin. Man still had his glasses on, he realized. It looked good with the no shirt. Hot nerd. He smiled a bit. “Kingsman is a lot different than I expected.”

“We hear that a lot,” Merlin replied.

“I bet,” Eggsy grinned at him. “So what are you going to massage now?”

Merlin laughed a bit and leaned down and kissed him. It was a firmer kiss that before, but that control was still there. Eggsy felt Merlin’s hands on his wrists, guiding his hands up and he grasped the wrungs of the headboard. “Can I trust you to not let go, or do you need to be lashed in place?”

“I can hold on, sir,” Eggsy promised.

“What a good lad,” Merlin crooned and began to nuzzle and kiss his jaw and neck. “Let go, and I will have to punish you.”

“What sort of punishment?” Eggsy was curious. “You said you don’t hurt.”

“I would bring you to the edge again and again, and deny your orgasm. You would ache, ache so much because my mouth and hands would be relentless and take you to the very cusp, raise you higher than you could go, but you would never tip over. We have the room for two more hours. Imagine how many times I could bring you close and then cut you off, just whispering, no not yet, maybe next time, in your ear. I would make you cry, and beg, and you would clench your arse around my cock to entice me, to make me lose focus, and I promise I wouldn’t. You would catch a glimpse of hell, before I finally allow you to feel heaven.” Merlin gently bit at a nipple after that little speech and Eggsy seriously debated letting go of the headboard. “But I know you want to be a good lad for me, don’t you? You will do everything I ask of you, because you want the praise. You want to be my good lad, my sweet one. You want to make me proud of you, so when I tell you to keep holding on and open your mouth for my cock, you are going to do so aren’t you?”

Eggsy had been half hard from the massage and fuck if that speech didn’t make his cock jump. Merlin quirked a brow and was waiting. “Sir, can I move my hands just a little either closer or further, make better room for you?”

“Oh what a good lad, asking like that. Aye, whichever is more comfortable for you.” Merlin put another pillow under his head as well and Eggsy adjusted his grip. He watched as the older man finally undid his trousers and pulled out his cock. Eggsy licked his lips and opened his mouth, waited.

Merlin held his head gently and Eggsy wrapped his lips around the cock and sucked. Eggsy loved sucking cock, made him feel happy, useful, wanted. Did it plenty in the barracks, but it was all fast and hard hands in his hair. Merlin was fucking his face, just like most of the blokes, but it was different. Slow, steady, and Merlin was praising him. Words that people seldom said to Eggsy and he wanted to be good for the tailor. The man was pushing all his buttons.

Merlin’s cock brushed his throat and Eggsy relaxed as it pushed in a bit and swallowed. “Incredible, Eggsy,” Merlin praised. “Oh but you are a good lad, and are definitely going to be rewarded. Just a little more okay?” Eggsy nodded, never letting his lips fall from Merlin’s cock. He sucked and pressed his tongue against the length. It was a good cock, filled his mouth, but never made him hurt. He wanted it in his arse. But even wanting that he whimpered when Merlin pulled out of his mouth and climbed off him. Eggsy’s head moved forward wanting to keep it but he didn’t let go of the headboard. “Definitely a treat for you.”

Merlin stood up and got naked and Eggsy took in the long lean look of him. Wiry. Muscled but still a whippet. He knew a couple blokes like that, they were the strongest fuckers in his team, more than the over muscled hulks. It was a favourite look of his. “You are bloody brilliant,” Eggsy said and he flushed at the way Merlin’s smile changed, softened, was a bit more sincere.

“You are a lovely lad,” Merlin praised. He took a different vial from the box and a condom and climbed back onto the bed. “Now let me return the favour,” he said and his fingers closed around the base of Eggsy’s cock and his mouth sank down.

Eggsy shouted out and really hoped the room was sound proofed because warm, wet, so good. Merlin’s mouth moved up and down his length, and it was better than any he had had in the last year. No hesitation, no worry they’d be seen or interrupted, just this intense focus on Eggsy’s cock. He didn’t go all the way down, and Eggsy was okay with that because the hand that was moving in tandem with Merlin’s mouth was making it hard for Eggsy to form thoughts. Eggsy was a bit longer than Merlin and he could understand not being taken all the way in. He arched his hips up and whined when Merlin stopped.

“Stay still, Eggsy,” Merlin ordered.

“Try, sir, but you are really fucking good at that.”

Merlin smirked at him, “wait until I get to the actual fucking.”

“I’m going to die,” Eggsy moaned.

“No, that is a mess I would prefer not to clean up after,” Merlin said and pushed Eggsy’s legs a little more apart. He went back to sucking Eggsy’s cock and Eggsy cursed when a slick finger pressed against his hole again.

“More, sir, please?” Eggsy begged. He moaned when the finger pressed into him. It had been a long time since more than his own had been in him, and it was so much better. The finger pushed in and then slid almost all the way out as Merlin’s mouth sucked hard on his cock. Okay, maybe asking for more was a mistake. “Merlin? Might be getting to be too much?” It was really hard to keep his hips still, painful. “Merlin, feel like I am getting close.”

Merlin pulled off his cock. “Thank you for telling me lad,” he praised. “You are doing so very well here.” He slowly pressed a second finger into Eggsy and Eggsy was dying. “Oh look how responsive you are. Been a while or are you always this wonderful?”

“Both?” Eggsy replied. “I really love sex. But...barracks.”

“Aye, I remember that well. And sex is indeed a joy. I love it as well.” Merlin laughed a little and it was a sound that just sank into Eggsy, the way his fingers were. And god those long fingers were killing him.

“Can you just finger me forever?” Eggsy begged. He almost loved fingers more than cock, because once a dick was in his arse it all went so quick, a rush to the end.

“You ordered a full fuck, but if you like,” Merlin replied, “I can bring you off like this.”

“Ordered?” the word made no sense, but Eggsy was floating too much to care. “And no, I want your dick too. Just, no rushing yeah?”

“Has anything in here been rushed, sweet one? I want to take my time with you, beautiful boy. I seldom get to play with someone as responsive as you.” Merlin’s fingers kept moving in him and Eggsy held to the headboard and just let his mind drift and enjoy all the sensations crashing through him. “Oh you are being so good, but I don’t want to hurt you, so feel free to move your hips.”

“Thank fuck,” Eggsy said and arched into Merlin’s touch. He rocked his hips in time with Merlin’s fingers and cursed when they pressed against his prostate. The guy was a sex god. “This is the best ever,” Eggsy said.

Merlin smiled at him, and it was a sweet smile and made Eggsy’s stomach both sink and fly. He pouted when Merlin pulled his fingers out, and he felt empty but Merlin was putting on the condom and oh this was going to be brilliant. Merlin adjust Eggsy’s hips and looked at him. “Ready?”

“Yes please sir,” Eggsy begged. He winced as Merlin started to push in. The fingering had stretched him but it had been forever since he had taken a cock. Merlin made soothing noises as he sank into Eggsy and once he was all the way in, he rubbed his nose against Eggsy’s jaw, gave him more of those soft kisses that Eggsy wished would never end. “Okay,” Eggsy said after a moment and oh god, Merlin’s hips set the perfect rhythm. Seriously the tailor was utterly ruining him. The thrusts were steady and making him want more. Eggsy pushed up to meet each thrust.

“Not a race land, just enjoy,” Merlin whispered in his ear. “Just let the feelings roll over you. You are in no hurry to come, you want it to last as long as it can, until you are aching. I won’t stop you, but hold out as long as you can, so that the pop is worth it.”

“I’m gonna, but you have to not be so good at this.”

“Sorry, but being good at this is rather expected,” Merlin nipped at his neck and did not increase his pace any.

It was torture.

It was bliss.

Eggsy stopped thinking and just felt. The burn in his arms from holding the headboard, the wet of Merlin’s mouth on his neck. The roughness of Merlin’s skin rubbing against his cock. The ache from Merlin’s cock stretching him, the sparks when it pressed against his prostate. It was all so much and his mind tried to catalogue each separate sensation but they were all rolling together in a blur of ache and pleasure. “Can I please touch you?” Eggsy begged. “Please sir?”

Merlin nipped at his ear lobe. “Aye, sweet one, you can let go.”

Eggsy let go of the headboard and wrapped his arms around those strong shoulders, dragged his nails down Merlin’s back and loved the noises that Merlin made against his neck. “Fuck, Merlin, fuck.”

There was a laugh and the rumble of it felt so good against his skin, but Merlin was keeping that steady pace, it was killing Eggsy, there was no way it was fast enough, hard enough to get him off. He thought, maybe, but the pressure was building, his mind emptying as sensation took over thought and he knew he was sliding towards orgasm. He wanted, just a little more.

“Please?” Eggsy said, not even sure what he was asking for.

Merlin sat up and looked down at him. “Beg,” he ordered.

“Please, Merlin, sir, I need more. I need, everything? Whatever you can give me, please, it feels so good, I just want...please,” Eggsy replied. He felt a tear slip out of his eye, everything so overwhelming and Merlin started to move quicker and a hand wrapped around Eggsy’s cock and it built and built and everything that Eggsy was feeling crashed into itself and he shouted as his body went rigid under Merlin and he came all over Merlin’s hand and his own stomach. His eyes closed, the room too bright for what he was feeling and Merlin’s cock thrust into him a few more times and Merlin cursed and Eggsy smiled a bit.

He lay there, swimming in endorphins, happier, more relaxed than he could remember in forever when Merlin pulled out of him. He kept his eyes closed and sighed when a warm, damp flannel cleaned him off. Eggsy felt a gentle kiss on his mouth and tried to respond but it felt like effort. Merlin rolled him over again and gave his back another bit of massaging and eventually Eggsy was capable of coherent thought again.

“Fuck,” was all Eggsy managed to say.

“I am glad to have satisfied.” Merlin said and climbed off the bed. Eggsy watched him put on all those layers again, hid the tattoos and piercings, and all that coiled strength.

“So, is now when you measure me?” Eggsy asked and sat up on the bed.

Merlin laughed and gave him a wink.

“Like that was brilliant, but unless you are that good a tailor that touching me everywhere was enough for you to build the clothes, guessing measuring tape is needed?” Eggsy looked at him. “Do you need me naked for that, or can I put my pants on for the measuring?”

Merlin stopped laughing. “What?”

“The trousers and smoking jacket the guy out front. Oh god, bugger, did the manager not approve the discount for the orange velvet thing? Was the sex to make up for no discount? Don’t know if I can swing the full price.” Eggsy began to worry, especially with the way Merlin was looking at him.

“Wait, what?”

“What, wot wot?” Eggsy said.

“You paid for a full fucking, slow, with gentle orders, and cock sucking from both parties involved.”

“I paid for a who with a what now?” Eggsy shouted. “I came to a tailors!”

“You came to a whorehouse that makes clothes as a cover,” Merlin said. “You said the code phrase for a sex order when ye called.”

Eggsy felt his jaw drop. “I did what now?” The guy looked completely gobsmacked. “I did what now?” Eggsy repeated and they just stared at each other and the room grew unbearably tense as neither man could find the right words for the situation.

Chapter Text

Eggsy stared at Merlin. “Code phrase?” his voice was faint, his pulse raising more than it did during the orgasm. “What fucking code phrase?”

“Cost was no object,” Merlin replied. “You said it twice, Andrew confirmed.”

“I was trying to sound like a posh git, the type you’d let in the door, because no way would you let me in otherwise.”

“No gentleman says cost is no object, it is crass, their entire being is just supposed to suggest that phrase.”

“That is a shitty code phrase! It should be…” Eggsy stumbled. Because what should be the code phrase for ringing a tailors and wanting a dicking and not a pair of trousers. “It should be, I’d like an appointment to discuss a different look.”

“We get that regularly when the webpage says that Harry went on a buying trip.”

“I’d like an appointment that can change my life?” Eggsy said desperately.

“Did my dick change your life?” Merlin smirked a little. “Thank you, kindly.”

“Fuck you,” Eggsy snapped.

“No that is a different order entirely.”

Eggsy put it all together. “So each thing I ordered, meant a different thing?”

“Aye,” Merlin agreed.

“What was with the free belt or pocket square?”

“Leather or metal means the client wishes to top, fabric means they wish to bottom.”

Eggsy could not process this. “I spent all my bonus money, and a month of savings, on one fuck?” Oh god, he was a fool. Just like always. “Oh god,” he felt lightheaded. “What the hell am I going to tell my mum?”

Merlin approached, and Eggsy couldn’t. He dressed in under a minute and ran. He heard that guy out front calling after him, but Eggsy hit the street and in a blink had himself up on roofs running, burning off the shame, the horror, and the still happy tingly feelings he had from the best sex in his life.

He ran for a couple hours before he stopped in at Jamal’s. He couldn’t tell his friend, just chilled for a bit until he was calm, until he could lie to his mum and then he went home. “Hiya,” he called when he walked in.

“Eggsy,” Michelle was playing hide and seek with Daisy. “Thank goodness you are home, I cannot find Daisy anywhere. You need to help me look. Is she under that pillow on the sofa?”


Eggsy snickered at the way the curtains moved and half her body could be seen, but he picked up the pillow. “No, Mum sorry, not here.”

“Hmmm, want about under the table?”

“No, window blankie!”

“What I could have sworn I heard something,” Michelle gasped dramatically.

Eggsy tiptoed over and pulled the curtain back. “Found you, monkey.”

Daisy giggled and held up her arms and Eggsy picked her up and held her tight.

Michelle took another photo. “How did it go?”

“Fine, they aren’t sure if they can get it all done before I leave, and will hold my order for me, until I’m on leave again.”

“They can send it here, hun. Your room makes more sense than taking up space there,” Michelle said.

“I’ll let them know. Went for a bit of a run, need a shower.”

“Okay, you in for supper?”

“Yeah,” Eggsy agreed.

“Sghetti,” Daisy told him. “Yum.”

“The yummiest,” he agreed and went and had that shower, tried to scrub the day off. At dinner he chatted easily and smiled, and it was all good, but he excused himself after and decided to just watch a movie in his room on his laptop. He was about half through, a bollywood musical, because one of the blokes he worked with, got him surprisingly into them when there was a knock on his door. “Mum, I’m fine, don’t need a cuppa,” he shouted.

“It’s me,” Sean poked his head in. “Can I talk to you?”

“Sure,” Eggsy said and sat up. “You and mum want a date night? Happy to babysit.”

“No, bout today. Something went wrong at the tailor’s didn’t it?” Sean leaned on Eggsy’s ancient desk. It had been his grandfather’s, used to have a roll down top that he had hacked off. “Want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Eggsy said.

“Treated you like rubbish?”

“Something like that,” Eggsy replied. “It just...wasn’t what I thought it would be like.” And wasn’t that the fucking truth. “But you know people, what can you do?”

“I can go talk to them, explain they don’t treat my boy, a kid working his ass off in the marines like that,” Sean said and for a moment looked pretty tough, and not like the guy who did a credible Super Grover voice.

“Your kid?” Eggsy laughed. “Sean, we barely know each other.”

Sean just shrugged. “Stepkid, kid, not much difference is there?”

“To some big fucking difference.”

“Not to me,” Sean looked at him, “So want me to go to talk to them?”

Eggsy got up and went over and for the first time hugged Sean. “Thanks, but it is fine.” He squeezed. “Glad Mum met you.”

“I’m a lucky son of a bitch that I was there at the bar that night.”

“You two met at a party,” Eggsy said confused. He pulled away and looked at Sean who had gotten a bit ruddy. “It was a tea party.”

“Yes, that is right, tea party. Completely civil. No strippers or bar fights involved whatsoever. Great talk, bye.” Sean hurried out of the room.

“MUM!” Eggsy yelled and chased after Sean, forgetting for a moment his own worries.


“I can’t believe you go back tomorrow,” Michelle was pouting. “Leave went too quick.”

“Always does,” Eggsy agreed as he put his laundry in. “But hey, not going to be a year, yeah? See you again in three months.”

“I know, but…” Michelle sighed. “You are happy right?”

“I am, Mum, promise.”

There was a knock at the door and Michelle went to answer. She came back with a large box. “For you, darling,” Michelle said and handed it to him.

Eggsy looked at it. Black with gold lettering.

Kingsman Tailors

“Huh,” Eggsy said, rather shocked.

“Open it,” Michelle encouraged.

Oh god, Eggsy hoped they hadn’t sent sex toys as a final humiliation. He opened the box and whatever was in it was hidden by tissue paper, and there was an envelope on top. He picked up the envelope and gave the words on the note inside a quick scan before he read out loud. “Corporal Unwin, we have to offer our sincere apologies, but the blazer you ordered, we were unable to finish due to a flaw in the fabric. We of course would be happy to refund the money, or you can come in to pick an alternate option. In the meantime, we offer this as an apology. Merlin, Kingsman Tailors.”

“Now that is classy as fuck,” Michelle said looking at the note Eggsy held out to her. “That looks like real fountain pen ink.”

“Huh,” Eggsy said and opened the tissue paper. Inside the box there were three pairs of trousers and four tops. “Fuck,” he said in shock.

“That is one heck of an apology,” Michelle said. The looked at all the clothes and at the bottom, there was also a couple belts, a set of cuff links and a few ties. “Wow,” she said. “Model for me, right now.”

“Mum,” Eggsy sighed. The shirts were so smooth in his hands.

“Just one, please?” she begged.

Eggsy took the clothes to his room, and they fit well, not as perfect as bespoke, but damned impressive. He guessed Merlin could measure just from having touched every inch of him. He went out and wished he was surprised when his mum took a bunch of photos. “Enough,” he told her firmly.

“Family is going out nice tonight, showing off your togs,” she said. “Everyone in pretty clothes, restaurant with cloth napkins, that looks at us in horror when we ask for a high chair for Daisy.”

“We don’t have to,” Eggsy protested. Places like that cost a fair bit of money.

“Eggsy, we can afford a treat every once in a while,” Michelle promised him. “We live off of Sean’s salary fine. What I bring in is for exact things like this.”

“Used to us having to live on the cheap,” Eggsy said. “Hard to change that thinking.”

“I know,” Michelle said. “But you deserve nice before you head back. And I want to watch men and women swoon over my boy. Look how good you look.”

“Yeah, it is pretty good, ain’t it?” Eggsy looked down at the trousers, ran a hand over them. “Sure, a nice family dinner out sounds brilliant.”

He left the good clothes at his mum’s and his heartbroke at the way Daisy cried when she saw his duffel bag and tried to say goodbye. Eventually Sean pulled her away and left Eggsy and Michelle. “Bye, Mum.”

“You look so like your father in your uniform,” Michelle smoothed the front down. “Be safe, okay?”

“I’ll do my best, Mum.” He hugged her and kissed her cheek. “Talk in a couple weeks?”

“Of course,” she said and for a moment couldn’t let go. But she did. “You sure we can’t drive you?”

“I’m fine, better like this,” he said.

“Go on then, before I sob all over you,” Michelle said and Eggsy gave her a last squeeze and went out.

He was leaving earlier than he had to, because he wanted to make a stop. He ignored the stares as he walked down the street, not exactly a neighbourhood where they saw a lot of marines, he guessed. Eggsy went into Kingsman tailors and the old bloke was there organizing ties. “Hiya,” Eggsy said.

“Corporal Unwin, I am happy to see you. I trust you were pleased with what Merlin sent?”

“Yeah, is he available to talk?”

“I am sorry but it is his day off,” Andrew said.

“Oh. Well, just tell him. Thanks?” Eggsy felt awkward, adjusted his bag on the shoulder. “I…” he couldn’t think of what else to say.

“If I may,” Andrew looked at him. “That came out of his own pocket, the owner refused saying it was your fault, and the shop owed you nothing.”

“Your owner seems like a wanker.”

Andrew gave a small laugh. “He is...who he is. But the manager, and employees like Merlin make the job tolerable.”

“Out of his own pocket?”


Eggsy had no idea what the blokes here were paid but he knew what the clothes cost. “Tell him, he’s a good one?”

“I can do that, sir. Safe travels and maybe we will see you again.” Andrew gave him a respectful bow of his head.

“Doubt it,” Eggsy gave a small laugh. “But thanks.”

Eggsy left Kingsman Tailors and figured that was that. He was done with them, forever now. 18 months later after he saved a teammate during a training exercise gone horribly wrong and his leg was trapped and potentially making him bleed out, he was rather surprised that his thoughts as his vision went grey were not of his mum or sister, but of Merlin, and how it was annoying that he’d never have a chance to have that good a fuck ever again.

Chapter Text

“Baby,” Michelle began and stopped. She was trying not to coddle him too much, he hated it so, but she was struggling not to put the 26 year old in bubble wrap and never let him leave his room. “Cuppa?” she put on a cheerful voice.

“Mum, I overdid it at PT today, but I’m fine,” Eggsy said, like he wasn’t pale, shaky and covered in sweat.

“You look sticky,” Daisy said.

“So do you,” he pointed out. “Fruit cup not the neatest thing to eat, is it?”

“The spoon slips a lot,” she said seriously and dug in for a little bit more.

“It does, it is a problem that no scientist has solved.” He almost whimpered when Michelle put the ice bag on his knee, it hurt and then slowly helped. “Thanks, Mum.”

“Of course.” Michelle touched his sweaty hair. “Can I point out, your PT would have ended an hour ago, and you wouldn’t still be this sweaty.”

“The underground was hot?” Eggsy tried and winced at the look she gave him. It was that deadly mum stare, worse than any sergeant around. He laughed at that a bit bitterly, made sergeant and didn’t even have a chance to practice a good glare, injured and career done within two weeks of the announced promotion. He sighed. “Went for a bit of a run.”

“Is that advised?” Michelle fretted.

“Not not advised,” Eggsy replied. He held up a hand when he could feel her getting ready to fuss. “Mum, I am being cautious, but if I don’t push, don’t move, I’m just going to have all this stored energy and it will come out wrong. I’m used to a lot of activity.”

“I know,” she took the fruit cup away from Daisy and gave her a quick wipe down and then Daisy ran off to play. “Any thought to the offer?”

“To teach at Sandhurst? No, Mum. No going back. Got my papers in the mail,” he had to admit. “All done. Look at me, civilian.”

“I am so proud of everything you do.”

“Was fucking stupid,” Eggsy said.

“No, you saved a man’s life.”

“In a fucking training exercise.”

“That went tit’s up.”

“Sure, but still, not how I thought.”

“No you thought you would fall on a pipe bomb and die, saving your platoon and leaving behind a wife and son?” Michelle got up and went outside to the garden needing air.

Eggsy for the first time, properly saw outside his pain and hurt and thought how this would have been for his mum. He needed a minute before getting up, he had absolutely overdone it on his run, but he struggled up and went outside. She was laying down on the grass and looking up at the clouds. He lay down beside her. “I don’t remember him that well. It’s these...feelings more than anything. Rubbing noses, getting the monster in the wardrobe, his laugh. I remember his laugh.”

“You made him laugh so much. He was happiest when he was with you.”

“Happy with you too, yeah?”

“Different sort of happy,” Michelle said. “Your laugh sounds nothing like his, and yet when you do, I hear him.”

“Haven’t laughed much since I’ve been home.” Eggsy reached out and took her hand. “I am sorry.”

“Darling, you are in PT and your world has rather changed, I didn’t expect jokes to abound.”

“No, I am sorry, because I never once thought how you would have felt when you got the call that I was touch and go.”

“Numb,” Michelle said. “There is no other word for it. Just numb. And then rage. Pure rage, at you, at God, at the marines, and bullshit British imperialism and the colour red and anyone who would yet again tell me how honoured I should be by your sacrifice.”

“But I’m here.”

“You are,” Michelle turned her head and looked at him. “I hate how hurt you got, and that you had to give up a job that I know you loved, but baby, I can’t hate that you are out. I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“I know.” He stared up at the sky. “Mum?”


“I don’t think I can get back up.”

“We’ll just leave you here then.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“Of course.” But Michelle stood and they got him up and she held him close and he held her just as tight.


The career counselor had been less than helpful at Veterans UK. Or he supposed they were helpful, but not in the way he wanted them to be. He decided to head to Heathrow. He texted Sean and was met by security and taken to an area where he could wait. He played a bit on his phone and figured this was a stupid idea.


“It’s nothing,” Eggsy said immediately. “Uh...just wanted to ask what you wanted for dinner. I’m cooking tonight.”

Sean looked at him and put the visitor’s pass around his neck. “Come on then,” he said and took Eggsy back to the hanger where he and couple guys were working on an engine. He brought Eggsy over to a big hunk of metal and gave him a large hammer. “Think you can bang out those dents?”

Eggsy was in one of his Kingsman shirts and trousers, his mum had insisted he look good for his appointments that day. He stripped off the shirt, down to his vest. “Yeah, I can do that.” He put on the safety glasses, Sean handed over and just started wailing on the metal. Over and over he hit it, and fuck it felt good. All his frustration came pouring out of him, each hit of the hammer, releasing something he had been carrying. When his arms felt numb, he stopped. “I think I got all the dents?” the piece of metal was perfectly flat and he sort of just wanted to collapse. He saw a chair against the wall and sat down. When Sean brought him a bottle of water, he drank it down in a few gulps. “Fuck that felt good.”

“Want to talk about it?”

“No,” Eggsy said.

Sean nodded. “Okay.”

Eggsy blinked. “Wait, really?”

“Really,” Sean agreed. He got up and went over to the engine and got back to work. He hummed a little as he worked on the beast.

“I’m not qualified for shit,” Eggsy called out.

“Going on break, boys, want this stripped down by the time I get back,” he told his team and guided Eggsy to his office. They sat down and Eggsy get squeezing and warping the cheap plastic bottle Sean had given him.

“That isn’t true. I’m qualified for stuff, but I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be a security guard, and sure PT went well enough I could pass the physical for being a cop, but like fuck I’m joining the filth. I have some mechanics and tech skills but nothing that offers a certificate or diploma so I’m looking at a couple years of school and I don’t want that. I don’t want to carry a gun, Sean, not anymore. I don’t...I’m tired of hurting, and I don’t want to hurt anyone. But not sure where that leaves me.” Eggsy gave a hollow laugh. “Except maybe Mcdonalds.”

“We can do better than that,” Sean said.

“Not according to my career counselor.”

“You said what you don’t want. What do you want, Eggsy?”

“Want to work,” Eggsy said immediately, “And...well it’s stupid.”

“Life is very often stupid, Eggsy.”

“That’s the fucking truth. I just want to make people feel good, help them.”

“What was the last thing that made you feel truly good? Maybe we can work from that,” Sean suggested.

Merlin’s dick, was the immediate thought that floated through Eggsy’s mind. And fuck, almost two years and he was still thinking about that sex. That was messed up. But it had. It had made him feel good, until the humiliating part, in a way that not much had. And Merlin had been former military; he’d maybe at least have advice better than the counselor.

“I think I know a bloke to talk to,” Eggsy said. “Thanks, Sean.”

“Anytime son, and it isn’t much, or exciting, but we always need workers, stuff that you don’t have to be a licensed mechanic for.”

“Sure,” Eggsy said. “See you later, yeah?”

“Of course,” Sean replied.

Eggsy left the office and headed to Kingsman Tailors. It was a long shot that Merlin even worked there anymore, or that anyone would even talk to him, but why not, right? Took almost an hour but he made it there and it was the same old bloke at the front. “Hiya?” he said.

“Corporal Unwin, welcome back.”

“You remember me?”

“I am very good with names and faces, and you had a bit of a unique circumstance. Are you well, Corporal?”

“It’s technically Sergeant. Well, it’s technically Mr. Unwin. Technically, just Eggsy?” Eggsy felt like throwing up.

“Mr. Unwin, would you like a cup of tea?”

“No, thanks. Is Merlin around?”

Andrew looked at him. “Would you like to make an appointment?”

“Fuck no, pension doesn’t have enough to cover that,” Eggsy wrapped his arms around him. “He just...he said he had been air force, and I don’t know what to do.” Eggsy realized he was in a posh tailors, wanting to ask a whore about career advice. He wondered if he had unknown brain damage from the accident. “I’m sorry. Just please forget I came here.”

“One moment, please, Mr. Unwin. Just one.” Andrew went and picked up a phone. An honest to god old landline beast. Eggsy wondered if it was just for the aesthetic. Andrew was incredibly quiet on the phone and Eggsy walked around a bit but didn’t go too close to the door, he did that he’d bolt, and the nice old guy didn’t deserve that.

He was poking at some cuff links when he steps. “You aren’t Merlin,” Eggsy said when he saw the man. Of an age with Merlin, in one of the suits they made here. Handsome, glasses with one eye blacked out.

“My name is Harry Hart, I own this establishment.”

Andrew had called the bastard owner? Could have just kicked him out, couldn’t he? “Sorry for bothering you,” Eggsy said. “I’ll see myself out.”

“I should say, I am the new owner of this establishment, though it has been six months.” He held out his hand and Eggsy shook. “Merlin is busy, but perhaps you and I could have a conversation? I am former military as well.”

Eggsy looked at him. “This was a mistake.”

“Mistakes often lead to the best opportunities.”

“What fortune cookie you read that in?” Eggsy had to ask. The bloke just laughed and held an arm to the stairs at the back of the shop and Eggsy decided to go up. He was taken to a nice office. Cozy. He sat in a chair and was surprised when the man sat in the chair next to him and not around the other side of the huge desk. “So…” Eggsy had no idea where to begin.

“Eggsy, I am given to understand that you are owed a blazer, would you like to collect?”

Eggsy groaned, “Jesus, you all laugh at me I bet. Is that why you brought me up here, to make fun of my cock up? Because if so you can just get fucked.”

“The moment I became owner of this establishment, all our code systems changed at Merlin’s behest,” Harry said. “We are still who we are, but the lines are less likely to be mistaken. Merlin was devastated at your mistake and that our previous owner wouldn’t let him make it right. I’d like to make it right on his behalf.”

“He sent me all the togs.”

“Merlin dislikes feeling that he owes someone,” Harry gave a faint smile, a soft one, made him right attractive, though he didn't respond to it the way he had Merlin's quirk of lips. “Now, why don’t you tell me what has your eyes so haunted?”

“It’s nothing.”

“No, it isn’t,” Harry said. He went to a decanter and poured them both a dram. “I lost this eye from a bullet to the head. Was dead for 4 minutes, they say.”

“I was touch and go, bleeding out. Never died.” Eggsy took a sip of the drink and it was the most potent and smoothest thing he had ever drunk. “So how’d you end up from dead to a tailor and whore?” He winced. “Probably not supposed to call the posh ones whores right? That’s for those on Smith Street.”

“Call me whatever you like,” Harry replied. “And the answer is it took a lot of fucking work.”

Eggsy choked on his drink at that so much the man had to slap him on the back a few times. “I bet,” he managed to say. The bloke had a nice laugh. “Why did you choose that though, after the military?”

“Because I was good with my hands, but my depth perception was no longer accurate. I don’t need that to pin fabric, or finger someone to orgasm. I make people feel good whether it is dressing them in perfectly cut trousers or making them forget their own name. I enjoy both jobs very much, and am very good at them.”

“That’s fine, but how did you actually end up here?” Eggsy pressed. “Because figuring out what to do after everything you’ve been working on, towards, goes up in blood and smoke, is hard as hell.”

“I lost my virginity here,” Harry said simply. “This place has offered both services since the Great Depression and they had to...expand their offerings. I struggled for a few years after the bullet, and luckily had the financial and social position to not let it destroy me.”

“Lucky you,” Eggsy said.

“I am aware what my privilege afforded. But my mother grew sick of me wasting my life. Brought me here walked right up to the counter and said I needed a good suit and a good fucking that would knock the sense back into me, and just walked right out.”

“And did it? Knock the sense back into you?”

“No, but it started me down the road. And I realized that the shop made me happier than any other place, and I started an apprenticeship.”

“Your mum must have loved that.”

“We certainly only discussed the tailoring aspect of my work.”

Eggsy laughed. “I have no idea what to do with myself. I’m so fucking lost.”

“You aren’t, Mr. Unwin. You are right here, in Kingsman Tailors. Very much found.”

“Am I?” Eggsy looked at him. “I just want to make people not feel like shit. No loud noises, no fear in eyes, just...I want to see people smile. Know I put it there.”

“Mr. Unwin, when I purchased the shop, I had to let several people go, who did not live up to the standards I prefer.”

“I ain’t posh, bruv,” Eggsy laid it on a little thick to prove his point.

Harry looked at him. “No, but I see a man of potential. I am always interested in potential.”

“You can tell that from ten minutes of conversation?”

“After what happened to you here, the mistaken conclusions, that you came back in? That speaks to a lot of strength. And you are handsome and fit.”

“I have a lot of scars on my one leg.”

“We all carry scars, Eggsy.”

Eggsy looked at the glasses. “Guess you do. What do I do, sir?”

“If you like, you finish that drink and we arrange a proper fitting for you for the jacket we owe you, and then you walk out the door and likely never come back once the work is finished. Or you finish that drink, and shake my hand and next week we start your apprenticeship here.”

“For which job, tailor or the hidden room?”

“Which would you like?”

Eggsy thought of Merlin, that bed in the secret space. “Both?”

“Both it can be,” Harry said. He finished his drink and held out his hand.

Eggsy knocked back the rest and shook the offered hand. His own trembled a little.

“Welcome to Kingsman, Eggsy.”

Chapter Text

“Mum, stop fussing. Sean make her stop fussing.” Sean ignored Eggsy and focused on helping Daisy with her breakfast. “Traitor,” Eggsy glared at him.

“Eggsy, Daddy is the best!” Daisy told him.

“Yeah, he’s great, but he should still protect me from mum.”

“You are strong,” Daisy said. She and Sean did bones and Sean snickered a bit.

“Excuse me for fussing over how you look. They really gave you a bespoke suit?” Michelle twitched the lapels again. “Look at you.”

“Mummmmm,” Eggsy sighed. “It’s not a big deal. Like a work uniform at Mcdonalds.”

“No, this is a little different,” she replied and fixed the tie. She pulled out her phone. “Photos.”

“I know how to kill people with my pinkie,” Eggsy warned her.

Michelle stuck out her tongue and took a few photos. “Get ugly then, if you don’t want your photo taken.”

“You’d still take a million photos if I had a face like a foot covered in boils.”

“You’d still be handsome to me. Now you’ve been vague, just that you got a job at that posh tailors. What will you be doing?”

“I’m an apprentice. Guess in the management shake up, they lost a few employees and have been desperate to replace. Seems like I am going to spend a few weeks shadowing the owner, the guy who does all the behind the scenes stuff, and others, see where I fit best.” Eggsy shrugged. “They were desperate and apparently think there is potential in me. Lot of former military, who sort of ended up there. Just I fit. Hope I fit.”

Michelle blinked back the tears. “I hope you fit too,” she said, so thrilled that others saw the light that just shone out of her baby. “Can’t wait to hear all about your first day at dinner tonight.”

“Promise I’ll be moving out soon,” Eggsy told her. He had enough pension to swing it until pay came in, but not in anywhere that was semi-decent. And he liked getting to spend the time with Daisy.

“Pish tosh, you stay as long as you need, right Sean?”

Sean was helping Daisy wipe her face clean. “As long as he wants,” he agreed. “And remember, this don’t work out, you need something bit more physical, I’ll get you something with me.”

“Thanks Sean,” Eggsy squeezed his shoulder as he went by. He went outside and stopped. There was a man waiting with a nice car in front of their tiny house. “Your GPS stop working?”

“No, sir. Mr. Hart thought you might appreciate a ride in on your first day at work,” he explained. “I’m the driver, sir.”

Eggsy swallowed. “Thanks?” For some reason this made him nervous. They were treating him like a somebody. He was a nobody.

“Of course, sir.” The driver held open the door and Eggsy settled in. Jesus the car was nice. He wondered is sometimes it brought clients to them, or they used it to go to them. Eggsy knew so little about what went on, he imagined his training would take a long time. Unless they just threw him in a room with a bloke trial by fire sort of fuck.

His leg began to bounce and the driver looked at him in the rear view mirror. “I promise sir, it will be okay.”


“Mr. Hart and Merlin are both very kind. The staff morale has increased dramatically since they took over. You are never forced to do something you don’t want.”

“Okay,” Eggsy nodded. “Okay.” They were quiet the rest of the drive to the shop and Eggsy didn’t wait for the driver to open the door for him. He went into the shop and there was Andrew. “Hiya,” Eggsy managed to say. “Where do I go?”

“You are expected up and Mr. Hart’s office,” Andrew said and Eggsy went up the stairs, hand trembling just a little. He wanted this, he chose to shake Harry’s hand. He shouldn’t be terrified. He knocked at the door and waited to be called. When he heard come in, he walked in. Harry was sitting on the chair, not behind his desk and a full tea service was out.

“Eggsy, welcome,” Harry said warmly. “Tea?”

“Sure,” Eggsy said. He sat and accepted the cup. “We waiting for someone else?”

“Merlin will be along in a little bit,” Harry told him. “Is that alright?”

Eggsy bit his lip. “Yeah, driver said he runs the place with you, he an owner too?”

“A small part, more that I insisted he take more than he wanted.” Harry smiled at him. “Eggsy you won’t be asked to fuck anyone today. Breathe.”

Eggsy slumped into his chair. “I’m sorry. I agreed to this, I don’t know why I am so nervous.”

“It is a drastic change to your life, and Eggsy, you can just train for the front shop, to be a tailor. We do honestly have need for that.” Harry put a scone on a plate and gave it to him. “We serve many needs.”

“Not to be crass, but is there a big pay difference between tailor vs tailor and umm....what word do you use here, thinking rent boy not quite it?”

“Companion, escort, whore, we allow our staff to call themselves what they like, what they feel comfortable with. Your training will start simply Eggsy, learning about fabric, learning about what we offer. The next two weeks will be showing you around, talking you through every step of both aspects of the job. At the end of that, you and I will meet again, and you will tell me, what exactly it is you want to do with us, and we will plan your career.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that,” Harry agreed. He tilted his head and Eggsy wondered what he was hearing. “Merlin, please join us.”

Sure enough the man walked in. Eggsy had been remembering him wrong.  He was even more gorgeous that his memories. He was wearing a jumper with shirt and tie underneath. A trouser that looked tweedy. Eggsy thought, he supposed he’d be learning that.

“Hello, Eggsy,” Merlin said and his voice was the same. Fuck that voice.

God he wanted to fuck that voice.

“Hiya,” Eggsy managed to say.

“If you would come to my office, we can get your paperwork begun,” Merlin said. “Payroll, and the like.”

Eggsy looked at Harry who smiled at him. “Once you are done with Merlin, return to me, and we will begin teaching you about making clothes.”

“Yes, sir,” Eggsy stood up and followed Merlin. He was lead to an office much smaller than Harry’s and very full. There were bookshelves lining the back wall crammed with books, and magazines, and wires, and all sorts of things. The desk was ruthlessly clean, double giant monitors, keyboard, and a coffee mug.

“Please have a seat,” Merlin said gesturing to a chair. And Eggsy sat. “Now then, let’s get everything inputted.” It took almost thirty minutes to get all the employment forms filled out and Eggsy wondered if it would be crass to ask how much he was being paid.

But bugger he had a right to know. “How much am I paid?”

“For your training and apprenticeship the pay is lower than a full employee. 600 pounds a week.”

“Bull fucking shit,” Eggsy said.

“I’m sorry? I am sure you did not expect full salary at the beginning.”

“That’s trainee money? What the hell will I get paid later?” Eggsy was thoroughly shook, that was a lot more than he expected.

“It depends on your stream of employment, but more,” Merlin said. “Your first direct deposit will be less because my pay cycle is next week. Your kingsman employee account username and number is this,” he said as he handed over a piece of paper. “Now then, we need to discuss some other forms.”

“What other forms?” he was pretty sure that covered everything.

“Your medical history,” Merlin said calmly. “Particularly your sexual history. And if you are going to join that particular aspect of the job there are quarterly medical appointments for blood work, with a doctor we all use. Very trustworthy.”

“Sure,” Eggsy said. “Want to know how many I’ve shagged and the like?”

“As much as you are willing to share. We do need to know your preferences and your current limits.”


“At the end of training, they may have changed.” Merlin gave him a nod. “Any history of sexually transmitted disease?”

“No, sir,” Eggsy said. “I’m bi.”

“Leaning in a particular way?”

“Nope, guessing you mostly get blokes in here, and that’s fine for me.”

“A few women, but our clientele is about 85% men.”

“Actually a bit lower than I thought.”

“Harry’s milkshake brings the countesses to the yard,” Merlin’s voice was incredibly dry and Eggsy barked out a laugh.

“That’s fucking brilliant,” he said and somehow found himself relaxing. “What’s your milkshake do?”

“Men, I have no sexual attraction to women, though if the situation calls for it I can eat a woman out.”

“That come up a lot?”

“No,” Merlin replied. “Tell me a bit about your sexual history.”

“Shagged a girl at 17. Was as crap at it as you expect. Next was a bloke, went better. Joined the marines. Hand jobs in the barracks, hookups on leave. Couple minor relationships but nothing that stuck.” Eggsy took a breath. The man had a completely neutral face as he was typing notes into his computer. “What is better, what I like, or what I don’t?”

“Whichever place you want to begin,” Merlin said. “Would it help if I shared?”


“I like to fuck men. I will bottom sometimes but generally my preference it to top. More based on the partner than anything else. I like to be in control in the bedroom, give orders. Some bondage and some pain is enjoyable but I am not into extremes. I like to be listened to.”

“I liked listening to you,” Eggsy said and winced. “Fuck. We are probably supposed to pretend that never happened.”

Merlin moved around his computer and came over. “Not at all, this job doesn’t work if we aren’t open and honest with each other. You were a marine, and all reports a good one.”

“How do you know that?”

“The second Harry hired you, I ran a very thorough check on you, and I have a lot of interesting contacts in the world. You were very well regarded by your superiors and your teammates. You understand relying on those around you, to have your back. Here is less life and death but still that feeling is there. We need to know we can count on each other. Because no one else understands what we are doing.”

“You were like the best fuck I’ve ever had,” Eggsy blurted out. “Like so good my last thoughts when I were bleeding out? They were pissed I’d never ride your dick again.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever been paid a finer compliment,” Merlin said and smiled. “I enjoyed our time together Eggsy.”

“Not a client, you don’t have to say that.”

“I seldom lie,” Merlin replied. He laughed a little and Eggsy was trying desperately not to be charmed. “That is in fact a lie. I lie a fair bit, it is a part of the job. But I am in earnest, you were a very good fuck.”

“Guess that makes me good for the job right?”

“There is a difference between being a good shag and being a professional. It takes work and education just as any profession. Because you have to unlearn what you have taught your body is the goal - your pleasure. In the job it is all about the other person’s pleasure. If we gain from it lovely but this is about service, devotion to one other than yourself even for just twenty minutes.”

“I get wanting to serve. My dad served. And he died. And I served, and I almost died. I want to help people. Be a good man. Like him. Most figure I should join the filth, or become a teacher or something. But I think this will fit. And...I needed the dicking you gave me desperately, and to be out of my own head. But what I love about sex? Is the other person. Learning a different body, their faces when the pleasure builds. When they get past all the bullshit fake moans they think they need to do, and are quiet because everything is so lost in how they feel. And even if I don’t do that know how good the clothes you sent me made me feel? How this suit makes me feel? I give someone half that, I’ll be content yeah?” Eggsy looked at Merlin. “Thanks for what you sent by the way. That you...just thanks.”

“You are welcome,” Merlin said. “Eggsy, do you want your training separate or together?”

“What do you mean?”

“Would you like a couple weeks of tailor’s training only? That way you see if you can derive contentment from that job.”

“No, I want both, drags it out too much otherwise.”

“Harry will do the bulk of your tailor’s training, for as good a fuck as he is, he is lousy at explaining sex. Clothes though, you could not ask a finer instructor.”

“Who will be my sex trainer?” Eggsy snorted a bit. “Now doesn’t that sound weird?”

“A little,” Merlin agreed. “And I will be leading that branch of your apprenticeship, though you will spend time learning from a number of people, as we all have different skills in the bedroom.”

Eggsy was very curious about one thing. “Harry said you changed the code phrase. Because of me.”

“Aye, we did.” Merlin looked at the wall, if there had been a window it would have been a thoughtful glance cast over the streets of London, a pensive look that plays well in BBC dramas. “As Harry said, the rules are changing and our clientele grows more varied; old codes do not match the times. As usual word of mouth is what brings about the knowledge of our more...intimate business. So we kept it simple. You inquire about bespoke underpinnings. It is not an item in our listings.”

“That’s not bad,” Eggsy said.

“And should a new client book an appointment for bespoke underpinnings, we greet them in the tailor room and discreetly confirm what they are looking for, before we start fucking.” Merlin flushed a little. “I should have paid more attention to your confusion, I just thought it nerves.”

“Well to be fair, was pretty nervous about the fitting,” Eggsy said. “So what happens next?”

“Next, you return to Harry so he can take you on a tour of the storeroom. If he manages to not take up your whole day with that, then you’ll return to me, and we’ll go a little more in depth in this conversation, so I can create a game plan.”

“ you like working here?”

“Very much,” he answered.

“Okay,” Eggsy stood up and held out his hand. Merlin’s palm was dry, the shake firm, and neither let go for a moment too long. “Back to Harry then.”

“I will see you later.”

Eggsy left the office and went back to Harry, and he tried to focus on every type of tweed man had created, but he was distracted by thoughts of how that tweed would look on Merlin.


Chapter Text

“Merlin, please, I’m begging you, let me fuck someone. Because swear down, I find the tailoring stuff interesting, I really do. But I cannot have another 5 hours of Harry explaining the history of every single fabric the shop uses. I cannot,” Eggsy was ready to weep. “Please Merlin, I think I know more about the silk road than historians who study it.”

Merlin handed him a cup of tea. “He has been so happy to have an apprentice, he has not asked about our budget or been in my business for three days. Do you know how much work I have gotten done? Inventory is up to date, quarterly taxes all done, and I had two personal clients who were very satisfied.”

“Good for you, would you like to know about the tartan in your tie there? Because I bet I can tell you its history better than you and even money is that is the tartan of your fucking people.”

“Not a clue, I just like the pattern,” Merlin replied.

“Let me suck a dick, live or dildo, I don’t care. I can’t go to the back store room today.” Eggsy was ready to get on his knees right there and there. He liked Harry a lot, and the man was knowledgeable and enthusiastic and hell he had gotten a couple answers right yelling at the telly for a quiz show and impressed his mum. But he was not used to this much inactivity at a job. He had filled out this giant questionnaire for Merlin, multiple choice and short answer. He had gone for a full physical with their doctor, and yeah the bloke was pretty decent. Better than the military doctors he was used to. And in between the Harry lessons, he and Merlin had talked more about working in the ‘underpinnings’ part of the job.

But no actual training had begun and he was itchy for it. And wanking in the shower every bloody morning because Merlin’s voice had sunk into his head and was giving him aching and brutal dreams.

“We will have your first lesson today.”

“Yessss,” Eggsy said. “What is it? Deep throating, coming untouched, learning how to hit someone with a paddle?”

“It will be undressing.”

“Huh?” Eggsy made a face. “I know how to undress. You take your clothes off.” He honestly didn’t know what he had to learn there.

“Come along, Eggsy,” Merlin said with a smile and they went to a room he hadn’t been in before. It was like a mirror of the room he had been in with Merlin that first time and there was a man waiting in there. In a Kingsman suit. Fairly unassuming, but attractive.

When he looked up from his phone, his smile was soft and his eyes were warm. Eggsy relaxed almost instantly. “Hiya.”

“Hello,” the man replied and came over. “I’m Percival. I understand I am to be your first.”

“Uhhh, my first was like eight years ago,” Eggsy said.

“First training experience,” Percival corrected. “We begin at the beginning. Undressing yourself and someone you are with.”

Eggsy was eager but also a little nervous; he looked over to Merlin who had his clipboard with him. Eggsy wondered if his questionnaire was on there. He honestly didn’t remember if there had been a section on undressing on there. “You are busy yeah?” he hoped that came out as casual as he meant it to.

“Aye, with this,” Merlin said and closed the door. “Anytime you train with a new person, I will stay, both as support and security, and to monitor how the lessons go.”

“Why? If I take his pants off wrong, am I kicked out?”

“No, but this allows me to better monitor your strengths and weaknesses, so we know how to best utilize you,” Merlin explained. “You won’t be kicked out, if you are not as good at this as Percival is, just as you won’t be kicked out if you can’t cut as straight a line as Harry. It is about learning and being engaged as you do so. Now listen to Percival and pretend I am not here.”

Not bloody likely to forget that Merlin was standing there, going to watch him get naked. But sure, he’d try. “ got a specialty?”

“Voyeurs,” Percival said. “Gentlemen who like to watch, generally request me. Gentlemen who

like quiet, or to hear themselves come to me. A small niche to be certain.”

“He is modest, he is very much sought after,” Merlin said.

Percival gave a nod of thanks. “Now then, Eggsy -”

“Wait, sorry. Percival...Merlin...heard Harry called Arthur. Kingsman. All bloody codenames. You know my name, I don’t get yours?” Eggsy challenged.

“Oliver,” Percival explained. “You see why I go by Percival as much as I can.”

“Oliver ain’t so bad. I got Gary.” Eggsy looked at Merlin. “What you rocking?”

“The best dick you ever had, now gentleman please,” Merlin went and sat in the corner.

Eggsy flushed a bit and turned back to Percival. “So show me,” he demanded.

“If you’ll kindly show me how you undress,” Percival said.

Eggsy shrugged and stripped down in less than two minutes, clothes folded or laid over the back of a chair in another. He turned to Percival still wearing his pants and socks and a quirk of brow had those stripped as well. “There you go, naked Eggsy.”

“Very attractive,” Percival said easily. “Now get dressed again. Then undress like you are trying to entice your partner.”

“Like a striptease? You going to put on some music for me?”

“No, just entice me.” Percival sat on the bed and waited.

Eggsy dressed and thought about it for a moment. He went slower this time, twisting his body, showing it off, exaggerating movements. What had taken two minutes before now took almost ten. His cock filled a bit with the way Percival was staring at him, and he didn’t dare look over to see if Merlin was watching. He really wanted Merlin to be watching. “Better?” Eggsy asked when he faced Percival completely naked.

“Better,” Percival agreed. “Get dressed again.” Eggsy did and figured he’d have to try again. But Percival gestured to the bed and Eggsy sat. “Now watch,” Percival gave him the smallest smile and began to undress.

And okay fuck, Eggsy knew nothing about taking his clothes off. His second go he had been making a deliberate show of it, and he guessed Percival was too, but not in the same way. He couldn’t even describe it, but now he was turned on just by the way the man took off his bloody cufflinks. “How are you doing that?” Eggsy asked.

Percival slid his jacket off slowly, with a soft roll of his shoulders. His back was to Eggsy and he turned his head as the jacket caught on his wrists and hung there. He smiled, a small and soft look and Eggsy melted and was aroused at the same time. “Do what?” he asked. His voice was pitched a little lower, still smooth, but richer. “I am just undressing Eggsy.” He turned his head back and hung the jacket up. He turned all the way to face Eggsy and began to undo the buttons of his shirt. “You were performing, the second time. It was better, but it was weren’t thinking of it as something someone finds pleasurable to watch. You focused on the end result.”

“Well, they want our naked bodies, yeah?” Percival had all his buttons undone, but didn’t run his hand down his chest like Eggsy had done. He just let it hang there, showing a strip of skin; Eggsy wanted to push the thing off, to see more.

“You are assuming that all they care about is the end. For some clients it is a part of the journey, the main part even. This is all an indulgence, a dream. You can get a fuck anywhere, easily enough. Clients come to us, because we provide their true desire. A fantasy come to life.” Percival rested a hand on his stomach, didn’t move it. “Would you like to see more?”

Eggsy nodded slowly. “Then help me,” Percival said.

Eggsy looked over to Merlin who gave a small nod. Eggsy took a shaky breath and stood up. He was shorter than Percival though it wasn’t as much of a difference as with Merlin. He put his hands on Percival’s chest and slid them up to his shoulders under the open shirt but didn’t push it off. He waited and looked in Percival’s eyes and when there was that faint smile again, he pushed it off, making sure never to break their gaze.

“Good,” Percival told him and Eggsy shivered at the praise. A small gasp left his mouth before he could stop it. He was sure Merlin was making a million notes but he didn’t look over. “Now either keep my gaze when you undo my belt or sink very slowly to the ground.”

Eggsy sank to the ground, his fingers just grazing Percival’s chest as he went down. He took his time. Before he never would have cared about a belt beyond undoing it but here he pulled out of each loop and coiled it on the ground. He felt fingers in his hair and looked up.

“Instinct would tell you to nuzzle, kiss, open my trousers and suck my cock, just push everything off. But that is not the task at hand is it?” His voice is killing Eggsy. Why the fuck do all the Kingsman have the best voices ever?

“No, my job is to undress you,” Eggsy said, looking up at him. He warmed at the smile he got for that response. He continued and ignored Percival’s cock, no matter how he wanted to pull the slightly hard length into his mouth. Once the man was completely naked, Eggsy stood up. “What now, sir?” Eggsy blinked. “I mean, what’s next Percival?” He knew for sure, Merlin was making a note of that.

“Next is masturbation,” Percival said easily and walked over the chair and sat down, relaxed sinking into the cushions, legs spread but not wide. He looked like a man just utterly content and chill, sprawled at the end of the day. “We are gentleman and again if a client wants this sort of show they either want something crazy or pornlike which they go to James for, or they want a continuation of the undressing I was doing.” Percival looked over and smiled at Merlin. “You dislike this.”

“If I am in bed with someone, I want to be touching them, not myself,” Merlin replied easily and oh adding his voice into the mix was going to be the death of Eggsy. He wondered if he would get in trouble and didn’t care. He pressed his hand against the front of his trousers.

“Undress again, Eggsy,” Percival told him.

Eggsy knew he was glowing under the pleased noises that Merlin and Percival both made as he undressed this time. He had always been a quick learner when it came to field stripping a rifle; he supposed stripping himself down wasn’t really that different. He sat on the bed and looked at Percival. “What do I do?”

“Slow, again, entice,” Percival said and he wrapped a hand around his cock and just left it there. “They want a dream, that feeling they caught you completely unawares. In pornography, the ‘caught you jerking it’ films are so very performative. No one masturbates like that when they truly believe they are alone. And that is what watchers want. The fantasy that you truly do not see them. That this is for yourself.” Percival closed his eyes and rested his head against the chair and yeah, Eggsy could see it. It was a bit performative, but natural. He could believe that the man would wank in that chair after undressing from a long day. He wasn’t racing to the end, his touch was too slow, too soft for that. It was more like having a cuppa and destressing.

“You are gorgeous,” Eggsy said softly watching him. Harry was beautiful and Merlin was arresting, but there was just something luminous about Percival.

“Join me, Eggsy, touch yourself,” Percival told him. “Forget we are here, watching. Just think about that release, how good it feels to let go.”

“I live with my family, only have time for quick wanks in the shower,” Eggsy joked. “And before that barracks.”

“You have the time now, indulge.” Percival opened his eyes. “Slow, Eggsy. A fantasy.”

Eggsy nodded and sat on the edge of the bed and began to fuck into his hand. He started too fast, but under Percival’s gaze, slowed, steadied himself. He let himself flop back onto the bed and stare at the ceiling. He settled in, one hand on his stomach, the other on his cock.

“That is a beautiful pose for your body, shows off your thighs, but also isn’t a show. Excellent work, Eggsy,” Percival praised and the words sunk into Eggsy. Eggsy moved his hand up and down his length and could hear Percival doing the same. Percival occasionally spoke to him, offered suggestions and praised him. Eggsy brought his legs up on the bed and swung himself a bit so that he could watch Percival, who had sunk even more into the chair, legs so stretched out.

“You look incredible,” Eggsy said.

“Like I said this is my strength,” Percival’s eyes were barely open and his breath was quicker. “It isn’t yours, but you are doing so well.”

“Could be,” Eggsy said and found himself matching his strokes to Percival’s.

“Could, but isn’t. Let go, Eggsy, you are thinking too much, worried you will disappoint. You are touching yourself. You have no one to disappoint.”

Eggsy let go of the last of the tension in himself and just felt and it was so good. The two men watching him. One naked and doing the same, and the other just in the corner, dressed, silent. He wondered if Merlin thought he looked good doing this. Percival spoke to him, praising him, until his voice stuttered a little and he stopped talking, breath too choppy for words. Eggsy watched Percival spill over his own hand and Eggsy then closed his eyes and finished himself off.

He lay on the bed, more relaxed than he had felt in a long time. He heard movement but figured he was allowed to be a bit wrecked after his first lesson. A damp flannel cleaned him off and a gentle kiss was pressed to his forehead. “You did very well,” Percival praised.

“You are a great teacher,” Eggsy managed to say.

“We’ll have more lessons,” Percival promised him. He left Eggsy’s side and Eggsy could hear Percival and Merlin whispering a little before the door opened and closed.

“Can I have a nap?” Eggsy asked. “This bed is really comfortable.”

“Aye, you can rest for an hour. And then Harry is expecting you. He is going to show you how to use a measuring tape.”

“This lesson was a lot more fun.”

“Oh I don’t know,” Merlin replied. “There are many interesting uses for a measuring tape. You did well, Eggsy. Rest. I will see a tray with tea and a snack is brought here in about ninety minutes.”

“Kay,” Eggsy said and he moved so that he was under the blankets. He drifted off and slept until the tray arrived. He snacked and dressed and went to Harry and at the end of the day on the underground he sent a message to Merlin.

There are no interesting uses for a measuring tape .

Ten minutes later his phone beeped and he looked down --   you haven’t seen what I can do with one. But that lesson is still far off .

Eggsy wondered if he would survive that lesson.

Chapter Text

Eggsy was learning how to cut from a pattern. It was interesting, he was honestly surprised at how interesting he found being a tailor. But Harry was a brilliant teacher and there was something really soothing about the back room. He pinned the tissue paper carefully. “Wouldn’t weighing it down be better? What if I tear a hole?”

“A good point, wonderful,” Harry praised. “And the answer is you can. And you will try both see what you like better. There are advantages and disadvantages to pattern weights.” Harry adjusted his hands a bit. “Smooth strokes, move the scissors not the fabric. Good.” 

It seemed Harry had learned that Eggsy did better the more praise he received. He damn well knew that was in Merlin’s notes. He had had a lesson with James. That man was cheerful and snarky, and the lesson went well, played off of what he had learned with Percival. Merlin had stood there with his clipboard while Eggsy had handjob lessons; and as with the first lesson, he realized how little he knew about fucking. These lessons were a lot more interesting than A levels chem. 

Eggsy cut out the pant leg, and there were only a couple jagged spots. The other leg came out smooth. He grinned to himself and flushed the more praise Harry heaped on him. “Sir?”

“It is Harry, Eggsy,” Harry reminded him.

“Yeah,” Eggsy sighed and put the scissors down. “I have an odd question.”

“Of course, shall we go to my office?”

Eggsy nodded, and they went up and of course Harry sent for tea. His response to everything was requesting tea. Harry was so fucking British, it was almost painful - and a bit adorable. They waited and Harry went into one of his lectures, and Eggsy half paid attention to the history of striped ties. He knew Harry was doing it, in part to give Eggsy time to form the question in his mind. They drank some tea and Eggsy nibbled on a biscuit. “Is there a Kingsman who needs a flat mate?” Eggsy blurted out.

“I’m sorry?” Harry was clearly surprised and Eggsy couldn’t blame him.

“Look, I’m living with my mum, stepda, and sister who is three. And Mum wants to know a lot about the job, and it gets awkward. And just...I was happy to have the place to land, but I need more space. Looked at a few flats, but I am still used to being crowded. Barracks, a toddler. By myself, the quiet would drive me spare. I distrust humanity enough that answering an ad for a flatmate just would not work, and Jamal’s girl just moved in, so that option went out the window. Don’t suppose, anyone here needs a flatmate?” Eggsy watched Harry’s face. He figured he knew the answer. “But that’s stupid innit? You all are old enough to be well settled in, not needing to share rent.”

“A moment, please Eggsy,” Harry said; he was clearly thinking. After a moment he nodded, and sent a text. “There might actually be a viable option for you.”


“You have not met, Roxanne yet have you?”

“Nah,” Eggsy said. “Merlin said she is way down the list in my training, if at all.”

“Indeed,” Harry agreed, “She does two jobs in the private part of the business. Lesbians, and men who like having a beautiful English rose, domme the fuck out of them. She delivers a great deal of pain, to men who pay an absurd amount of money to have her stand there in leather and whip them.”

“Yeah, ummm, willing to fuck a woman for the job happily, but I am not doing that..”

“We know, and we won’t even train you for it.”

“Really?” Eggsy was sure they’d at least have him try it to confirm it wasn’t something he wanted to do.

“You said you didn’t want to hurt people, you only wanted to help them.”

“But some people the hurt helps, don’t it?”

“True,” Harry smiled at him, “An excellent point. But that doesn’t mean you need to provide that. Roxy and Tristan do that well enough.” Harry reached out and squeezed his hand. “Kingsman isn’t life or death, Eggsy. You don’t have to make a choice against your personal needs, you don’t have to sacrifice yourself.”

Eggsy felt a small knot of worry just let go. “Thanks, Harry. I really don’t want to learn how to use a whip.”

“I don’t much like it either,” Harry smiled.

“What is your specialty, sir?” Eggsy had been dead curious about that.

“Romance,” Harry said.

“I completely believe that,” Eggsy’s reply was almost instant. “Merlin once joked your milkshake brings all the countesses to the yard?”

Harry almost giggled, and Eggsy was a little charmed. “Indeed. I make women feel wanted, feel attractive. Men as well. People come to me, when they are needy, wanting to remember perhaps their youth, wanting to just be...seen. You fuck me, you aren’t having an affair, you are just receiving a service.”

“Ah,” Eggsy said. 

“Do you find that immoral of me?”

Eggsy snorted a bit. “Bruv, we’re a whorehouse, I ain’t going to say what is moral or not. You make people feel wanted?”

“I make them feel cherished, in a way they have almost forgotten was even possible. I am a gentleman, and sometimes they need that.”

“I can understand that, I think.” Eggsy shrugged. There was a knock on the door and he stood when Harry stood. Eggsy watched the petite woman come in. He guessed this was Roxy. He tried to picture her in leather and with a whip and it could not fit with the denim and plaid blazer. She looked too casually posh for that.

“Roxy,” Harry was beaming. “I cannot believe we haven’t introduced you to Eggsy yet.” He gestured. “Mr. Eggsy Unwin, may I present Ms. Roxanne Morton. Roxy, this is our new apprentice, Eggsy.”

“Hey,” Eggsy said and held out his hand.

“Pleasure,” she replied. She looked him up and down a bit. “I can see, what Merlin was saying about you.”

Eggsy’s senses all went haywire, “What Merlin been saying about me?”

“Yvain, we do not speak out of turn,” Harry chided.

“Of course, sir. You said you had a solution to my problem?”

“Tilde goes home for six months, does she not?”

“She does.”

“And you tend to be lonely without her. Mopey, as your godfather says. Eggsy is looking for a flatmate. I thought you two might be able to suit?”

Eggsy watched Roxy size him up. “I pass all Merlin’s background checks,” he said. “Most I’m going to cause problems is if I’m babysitting my little sister. Wouldn’t mind having her over for a sleep over once in a while. She’s 3 coming up on 4 too damn fast.”

“I do get mopey when Tilde has to go home, and this is the longest yet.” Roxy sighed. “Tilde has actually paid the rent for while she is gone. Would need you to just split groceries and household bills. No drugs,” she said.

“No ma’am,” he agreed quickly. “No talking before we both been awake for an hour?”

Roxy smiled at him. “Why the fuck not?”

Eggsy smiled back. “That works for me.” He turned to Harry, “you mind I cut out? Have to tell Mum I’m moving out…?”

“Tilde leaves Tuesday. I’ll need a couple days to myself. So say, next Friday?”

“Yeah, that works for me,” Eggsy agreed. “Nice to meet you, Roxy.”

“You as well.”

Eggsy gave them both a nod, and headed out. He decided to try to butter up his mum by bringing flowers home, but that set her radar off immediately. He swore nothing was wrong, and he’d explain at dinner. He decided to cook and threw together a stir fry, with peanut sauce, because Daisy was picky but if it tasted even remotely like peanut butter she was there. 

“Right, so I’m going to be moving out,” Eggsy said about halfway into the meal. He winced when his mum shouted. Daisy pouted at him, and Sean just asked if he’d need him to bring boxes home from work. “Yeah, boxes would be good.”

“You don’t have to move out,” Michelle insisted. “We love having you.”

“I know, Mum, but I want this for me. I’m ready, yeah?”

“Flatmates found online are statistically likely to be serial killers,” Michelle tried. “Or worse.”

Sean looked at her. “Michelle, I do have to ask, what is worse?”

“I dunno, militant vegans, or conservatives, or clowns. Yeah that’s right. Your flatmate might be a secret clown, Eggsy.” Michelle nodded. “You don’t want to risk that.”

“I don’t,” Eggsy agreed. “Good thing, it’s a co-worker innit?”

“Oh,” Michelle deflated a bit. “Maybe a tailor who is a secret clown?”

Secret whore, was definitely not a secret clown. “Sorry, Mum. Roxy is a perfectly nice woman, who is looking for someone to use the spare room, while her girlfriend is away for a few months for work or school or something.”

“But,” Michelle began, and Sean coughed. She quieted. “We’ll help you pack.”

Eggsy had to hug her. “I’ll be here every weekend, and babysit whenever I can.”

Daisy was watching him. “No more Sesame Street time?”

“We’ll still have a bit, and you can sleep over at my new place sometimes. Just you and me, no Mum.”

Daisy cheered. “Ice cream for dinner!”

Eggsy flushed at the glare his mum gave him. “Balanced meal, Daisy.”

“You said the strawberries in it make it okay,” she protested.

“I’m going to get another serving, lots of veggies,” Eggsy said. “Anyone else?”


“Eggsy, I think today’s lesson will prove very informative for your future here,” Merlin nodded. 

“Okay?” Eggsy had learned that was just the way Merlin talked, he had this serious it’s all the end of the world vibe, when really it was nothing to sweat. When he said that it wasn’t that if Eggsy failed, he’d be kicked out, it just meant that Merlin knew how navigate Eggsy’s training. “What’s up?”

“Come along,” Merlin said and they made their way to the training bedroom. Roxy was there, in trousers and a dress shirt; Eggsy could tell made by Andrew, not Harry. She was kissing a woman in a silk robe, who sat on the bed. “Roxy, Tilde,” Merlin said. “Tilde we appreciate you helping us out like this.”

“Of course,” Tilde smiled at Eggsy. “I thank you, for keeping Roxy company while I am gone.”

“Yeah, sure,” he blushed a little. She was really pretty. He liked the freckles on her nose. Roxy had damn good taste in girls. “What’s are you helping out?”

Roxy slid her hand into Tilde’s robe, cupped her breast. “We are seeing how you are at going down on a woman. Tilde is bi, and I am not.”

“How do you do the domme thing then?”

“Oh, those silly boys never touch me,” Roxy said and she had this dark smile on her face, and Eggsy flinched. He got why blokes would pay everything for that smile if that was their thing, and it was so not for him. 

“You said you were bi, but that doesn’t mean both clients are for you,” Merlin explained.

“I get that,” Eggsy agreed. “So my job today is to make a gorgeous woman feel good?” 

“You are very sweet,” Tilde said. She tilted her head for a kiss from Roxy. Roxy slid the robe off Tilde’s shoulders. And fuck that was gorgeous, the naked woman pressed against the so properly dressed Roxy.

“Come here, Eggsy,” Roxy said and held out her hand.

“Bit of an odd way to see if we will be good flatmates.”

Roxy and Tilde both laughed, and Roxy stood behind Tilde who easily showed her body to Eggsy. “Kiss my gorgeous girlfriend, Eggsy.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Eggsy agreed. He cupped Tilde’s face and kissed her. She smelled really nice, and it was a good kiss. They kissed for a while and then Roxy pushed them both towards the bed. Tilde lay down, and Eggsy took a moment to just look at her. “Thank you, for letting me see you,” Eggsy said.

“Lovely,” Tilde replied and out of the corner of his eye, he could see Merlin making his notes.

“Eggsy, remember, Merlin isn’t there,” Roxy said gently. “Tilde is.”

Eggsy stayed dressed, it would have felt wrong to remove clothes, and he couldn’t explain why. He cupped Tilde’s breasts, and stroked his thumb over her nipples. 

“Take your time, every woman likes different things. But always start slow. Never start with pain. Strokes, circles. A lick. Listen to her breath, does it quicken?” Eggsy tried a few things and when Tilde arched into his touch he smiled. He did that again, and a few variations. He moved down the bed and spread her legs open, ready to lick at her.

“No,” Roxy said. “Never just start with your tongue. Most women, the clit is way too sensitive to start with that. Start with your fingers for a bit.” Eggsy had never known that, and wondered if some of the squirming women had done had been because they were uncomfortable, not because they were loving it. He circled Tilde’s clit with a light finger, and dipped his fingers down, into her. She was wet and clenched around his fingers. He brought the wet up to her clit and began stroking it. Tilde moaned and it was hot, really hot, but he wasn’t especially hard in his trousers.

“Good, again, try a few things, and just a touch lower. Guys often work too high on the clit.”

Eggsy adjusted his stroke and holy fuck, the way Tilde responded, damn. He listened to every tip Roxy gave him, and by the time he started licking at Tilde’s cunt, she was begging him. He pressed his fingers into her, as he licked at her clit, and she was speaking about four different languages. Roxy talked him through it, and when Tilde clenched around his fingers and cursed in an impression way, Roxy’s fingers were in his hair. “Don’t leave her. She’ll be sensitive, but don’t leave her. Just keep your tongue pressed without moving, leave your fingers in her. Let her come down, before you let go.” 

Eggsy waited until Tilde moved back, and he let go. He sat up and Roxy handed him a pocket square and he wiped his mouth. “You were amazing,” Eggsy told her.

“You were very good.”

“Think you have to thank your girlfriend for that,” Eggsy had to admit. He had been decent, he had gotten girls off, but this was different.

“Oh, I will thank her later,” Tilde said. She sat up, and kissed Eggsy’s cheek. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“And you ma’am,” Eggsy said. 

Merlin coughed, and Eggsy got off the bed. They were clearly leaving the women to whatever they needed. They went into the hall. “Do you need to go take care of yourself?”

“No,” Eggsy said. He was a bit hard, but not in a way that wouldn’t fade quickly.

“Very well,” Merlin said, and Eggsy followed him to his office. “Do you want my assessment now, or later?”

“I’m not going to be shagging girls, am I?”

“No,” Merlin replied. “You could in a pinch, you did very well with the princess but -”

“I’m sorry, wha?” Eggsy paled a bit. “That’s Roxy’s nickname for her, right?”

“No, Tilde is a princess of Sweden, but like 5th in line, so it is fine.”

“It is really not fine. It is so far from fine, I cannot even say,” Eggsy said. “I just brought off a princess?” He swallowed. “What the fuck?”

“I’ll give you a moment,” Merlin said and started to play crossy roads on his phone.

That was enough to snap Eggsy out of the panic he was ready to sink into. “Okay, I’m going to pretend I don’t know that,” he decided. “Carry on.”

“You did very well, and I am incredibly proud of you, and there may be circumstances where you fuck a woman for work, but your strengths lie in men. You responded beautifully to Roxy’s orders, but not quite as naturally as have others.”

“Like I responded to you,” Eggsy said softly.

“Aye,” Merlin agreed. “Are you okay that your work will be predominantly men?”

Eggsy thought about it. “Yeah, I’m fine with that.”

“Good,” Merlin said. “You like orders.”

“I do,” Eggsy had to agree. “They are orderly.” He liked the way Merlin laughed at that. He wanted to make the man laugh whenever he could.

“We will work with that in the future,” Merlin promised. “Now then, Harry is expecting you.”

“Thanks, Merlin.”

“Always a pleasure to watch you, Eggsy.”

Eggsy bit his lip. “You ever want to watch me, without your clipboard?”

“That is something we will answer another day,” Merlin replied.

Eggsy gave a nod and headed out. The thought of another day with Merlin, had him harder than everything he had done with Tilde.


“It’s a nice flat,” Michelle had to admit as she helped move the boxes in. “And your coworker, she is all posh and stuff.”

“Yeah, but she’s cool,” Eggsy said.

“You don’t have to help,” Sean could be heard in the hall.

“I don’t mind, helps distract me. Tilde hasn’t called in twenty-four hours. Which I expected, but still...Hauling boxes helps.”

“Girl after my own heart, work when troubled and you’ll forget your troubles.”

“A good philosophy,” Roxy agreed. They came in, “Only one more round,” she said. “I’ll order some pizza.”

Michelle opened her mouth, and Sean gave her that look. “None for us, thank you. The sitter is expecting us home.”

“I’ll have you all over for supper, soon as I am settled Mum,” Eggsy promised. They brought the last load up and Eggsy endured the big hug from him mum, and her watery eyes. “Just across town, Mum, not like I’m in the desert.”

“I know, I know,” she said and kissed him. She slid twenty quid into hand. “You pay for that pizza that is coming, make a good impression.”

“Mum I don’t need -” But Sean gave him that same look over her shoulder. “Thanks, Mum.” It took a bit, but Sean managed to get Michelle away, and Eggsy went back up to the flat. Roxy tossed him a beer, and he easily caught it. They both sat at the kitchen counter, drinking beer, and reading on their phones. When the pizza came, he paid and then they both headed to their rooms. 

Eggsy unpacked a bit. It was a decent sized room. He had a shower and flopped on his bed with a book. He could hear faint noise, but it was quiet. No neighbourhood noises, no barracks that were never quiet.

He decided to go watch some telly. Roxy was already in the living room. He sat next to her on the couch.

“Tilde snores,” Roxy said. “So fucking hard to sleep without that annoying sound.”

“I hate the quiet,” Eggsy said. “Puts you in your own head,  and it is stupid in there.”

Roxy nodded. “Bake off marathon.”

“That works,” Eggsy watched the show, and they both fell asleep on the couch, comforted by the noise and presence of another person.

Chapter Text

Eggsy went to the workroom, ready for his lesson with Harry. He had even brought them both coffee from the shop around the corner. He was supposed to be learning about collars - they were supposed to be a son of a bitch and a half. But Harry wasn’t there. He went hunting and Harry wasn’t in his office either. He knew the man could run a bit late, but this wasn’t right. He headed up to Merlin’s office. “Hey, guv, you know where Harry is? His coffee is getting cold.”

“He is in the training room,” Merlin said.

Eggsy froze, “you said he was rubbish at teaching sex.”

“He is, but it will be helpful. I think I have you just about sorted, and Harry is the last piece of the puzzle I need. Do you have a problem being fucked by Harry?” Merlin’s voice was easy, no judgement in it, just like always.

Eggsy thought of Harry, who went on and on about fabric, and had that sweet smile, and hair that flopped when he was working hard. “I don’t think so, just hadn’t really been thinking of him in a sex way yeah? Not sure I’m what he usually works with.”

“He makes people feel cherished. Of value. You don’t think that is something you could use?”

Eggsy flushed a bit at that. “I dunno.”

“Shall we to the room?” Merlin smiled at him, that kind knowing smile that made Eggsy’s stomach feel weak.

“Sure,” Eggsy put the coffee cups on Merlin’s desk. He followed him down that hall. Merlin opened the door and Eggsy went into the room. “Oh thank fuck, was worried there would be candlelight and roses or some shit.”

Harry laughed. He was just in a dress shirt and trousers, which was practically naked for him. “Eggsy, romance is not the physical trappings, though those can be quite lovely. My boyfriend brings me flowers once a month.”

“You have a boyfriend?” 

“I do, though he prefers partner.”

“So you have a partner, Roxy has a girlfriend. Dating is okay, then.” Eggsy bit his lip. “But how do you find a person who is okay with all this?”

“That is perhaps a conversation for later, sweet one,” Harry suggested. He cupped Eggsy’s cheek. “You carry so much, on your shoulders, in your heart. Wouldn’t it be nice to just let go of all that?” His thumb caressed Eggsy’s cheekbone and when his hand pulled away, Eggsy automatically tried to chase it.

“Oh,” Eggsy sighed. “Fuck.”

“Harry will not be able to well explain what he is doing, not in this.” Merlin’s voice was soft from behind him. He didn’t turn, his training had him keeping his eyes on Harry. You never swayed your attention from the person you were with. “Good,” Merlin praised when Eggsy didn’t look back. Harry and Merlin both noticed the way Eggsy sank into that single word, and Merlin made notes. “He cannot talk through the process like you have had with others. We’ll call this a more...experiential lesson. Enjoy and we’ll see what you take away from it. Are you okay with full penetrative sex?”

Eggsy looked at Harry. He still was wearing his glasses with the one blacked out lens. He reached up and gently touched the sides. “May I see you?” Eggsy asked. It was a whisper, barely a breath that carried the words.

“You may,” Harry agreed.

Eggsy pulled the glasses off. There was no eye, the skin sewn neatly shut, faint scarring webbing out along the edges. “You are so fucking beautiful.” Eggsy folded the glasses and put them on the dresser. “May I undress you?”

“You may,” Harry agreed again.

Eggsy remembered his lessons from Percival and took his time. Harry was pretty fit. He took care of his body, though it wasn’t as firm as Merlin. But hell, Eggsy was not as firm as Merlin. He took the shirt off Harry and folded it carefully, because he knew Harry wouldn’t like a mess. When he would have undone the belt, Harry stopped him.

“Sweet one, am I the only one to be exposed?” Harry asked and the way he said sweet one, like he meant it, could have broken Eggsy, if Kingsman hadn’t already been healing him so much. “Eggsy, your eyes lay you bare, no reason for the pretense of clothes is there? Not between us.”

“No, sir, no pretense between us,” Eggsy nodded and undressed, not quite like how Percival taught him, but close - his own spin on it. He was relieved to see heat in Harry’s eyes. He knew it was work, but still he was happy that he was turning the man on. Eggsy worked himself naked, and then knelt at Harry’s feet. He pulled off Harry’s shoes and arranged them neatly to the side. He noticed a small scuff, and blew on it, buffed it on his arm. Perfect. He flushed a little, pleased to have improved something for Harry. He could hear the scratch of Merlin’s pen, but didn’t focus on that. 

He took Harry’s socks off, ran a finger finger down Harry’s foot. It was long and bony, a few toes clearly broken at some point. Eggsy couldn’t help himself, he kissed one that was at an angle. “All better,” he whispered.

“My sweet one,” Harry crooned. 

Eggsy put the socks in the shoes, and he stayed kneeling but pushed up a bit to undo Harry’s trousers. He took the belt off and coiled it, put it next to the shoes. The hiss if the zipper felt so loud.

“I thought I was to romance you,” Harry said, and Eggsy could hear the smile in his words even though he didn’t look up at Harry’s face.

“Makes me happy to do this,” Eggsy explained and it was true. He enjoyed undressing Harry, taking care of his things. He finished the process and he was half hard, just from taking care of Harry, attending to him. He could hear Merlin’s pen flying. He took the hand that Harry offered and stood up. “Hi,” he said when he looked Harry in the eye.

Harry touched his cheek again, and Eggsy nuzzled into the touch. “The best thing that happened to this shop in a very long time was your walking in the door.”

“You mean my mistake.”

“No, it is very clear that was no mistake, but fate. You are a Kingsman sweet one, and we are lucky to have you in our family.” Harry kissed him, and it was just so soft, and caring. Every touch Harry did was soft, gentle. He longed for the calluses on Merlin’s fingers for just a moment, but soon was swept away by Harry. Eggsy was sure he was supposed to be learning something - and he guessed he was learning the difference between a shag and making love or something like that. Merlin and he would figure that out later.

Eggsy ducked a kiss Harry was about to give him, to just wrap his arms around Harry and hold him close. Harry stroked his back, a soft touch. Comforting. Eggsy hadn’t realized how arousing reassurance could be. “I have you,” Harry promised, and Eggsy believed it. “You are safe here Eggsy, you belong. I am so very glad of your company.”

“I love you, just a little,” Eggsy said. It was true. He couldn’t define the way he loved Harry, it wasn’t romantic, but it was there.

“I love you, just a little as well,” Harry promised. “I’ve never had an apprentice before. You are simply a delight.” He tilted Eggsy’s head up and Eggsy saw the sincerity in Harry. “Let me show you how much I delight in you.”

Eggsy nodded and they didn’t speak again for a bit. Harry guided him to the bed and Eggsy lay down. He saw Merlin move out of the corner of his eye and fuck, this felt different him watching this. Because this wasn’t as clinical as everything else had been. It was...different. But he couldn’t think about that.

Harry was back to those gentle touches, the kisses that were soft but never too soft. A warm tongue against a nipple, as fingers gently pinched the other. But Harry never went where he expected. After nipples it should have been a slide down to Eggsy’s cock but Harry was back to kissing his shoulder and neck. Even kissed his wrists, the gentlest teeth at his pulse point and he shivered; moaned. Then there was kisses to his ribs, but then his thighs. All the same pressure but never where he thought would be next.

It was dizzying, maddening the uncertainty of it, kept him so focused on Harry to watch what he would touch next. “Sweet one, you look confused.”

“Why haven’t you touched my dick?”

“Because while it is lovely, there are many other lovely places on you. So many places to discover, to see what makes you reaction, what don’t you expect? Did you know your thighs were so sensitive?” Harry raked his nails along the inside of Eggsy’s thighs, and Eggsy shouted, a unexpected noise that pulled all the air from him. “We know how you will respond to a hand or mouth on your cock. We want to know how you respond to everything else. I want to know how you respond to everything.”

“Tell me what to do, Harry. The world makes sense when you tell me what to do,” Eggsy begged.

“I want you to kiss me, and then we will roll over, and you touch me however you want, sweet one. And when you are satisfied that your fingers have learned all my secrets, you relearn them with your mouth.”

Eggsy pulled Harry’s mouth down to his, and usually he would make it all harder, faster, but he knew that would ruin this, and he didn’t want to do that. He kept the kiss soft, though not quite so soft as Harry had been, and when they rolled over, he began his own exploration. He couldn’t quite manage Harry’s unstudied jump from place to place, but he took his time. Harry wasn’t ticklish on the inside of his elbows, but it was close. He arched into touches on his hip bones, and his nipples weren’t especially sensitive. Eggsy had just meant to touch Harry’s throat but he slipped and squeezed. Harry gasped, and Eggsy was terrified he had hurt his boss, but Harry’s cock jumped as well. Eggsy bit his lip.

“No, that is his partner’s not yours,” Merlin said, his voice a whisper to not break the feeling in the room, but also to protect them from an action that could have consequences. Eggsy nodded, moved his hand, but he leaned down and nipped at Harry’s throat, and the moan that slid from Harry’s lips had Eggsy rock hard. Eggsy slid down Harry’s body and licked at his cock. Harry’s hands were in his hair, but gentle, because he was a gentle man. Eggsy knew he was good at sucking cock, and had had lessons from Gawain who was a genius at it. He put everything he knew into it and every noise that Harry made, only turned Eggsy on more. He lost himself in the task and it took a few taps on his shoulder for him to stop.

He found himself on his back and looking into Harry’s eye. “Just a little,” Eggsy repeated.

“Just a little.” Harry rubbed his nose against Eggsy’s. It was such a sweet gesture. A soft small love, just theirs, just in this moment. Harry reached for the lube, and he even managed to make fingering a soft experience, and praised Eggsy during it. Eggsy lapped up the words, a bit worried the two together would bring him off.

He kept himself under control though, and watched when Harry slid the condom on. He waited for Harry to climb on top of him, but he didn’t. “Harry?”

Harry just smiled and sat against the headboard. He pulled Eggsy into his lap. “This will be lovely, won’t it?”

Eggsy was astride Harry’s lap, and let himself sink down onto Harry’s cock. “Lovely,” he gasped out. Harry’s hands were on his hips but reassuring, guiding - not bruising. Eggsy lifted up and came back down, and they just watched each other as their bodies moved in rhythm, like when Harry guided Eggsy cutting fabric.

Eggsy hadn’t known an orgasm could be soft. He knew they could almost black you out, he knew they could be garbage or disappoint, but he didn’t know it could feel like that perfect summer rain on your skin, that feel sliding into fresh sheets under your favourite blanket. That an orgasm could feel like a hug. “Harry,” was all he whispered when he spilled untouched over Harry’s lap. Harry rocked up into him a few more times and came as well.

Eggsy just sank into the hug that Harry wrapped him in. They were quiet for a bit. “Next time you blather on about some obscure historical point about fabric, I’m going to think of this.”

“If you like,” Harry said and held him close. “You are wonderful, sweet one.”

“Your boyfriend is a lucky bastard.” Eggsy moved his head to look at Harry.

“I’m the lucky one,” Harry replied, and Eggsy could see that he utterly meant that and believed in it. And that the just a little he loved Eggsy, was really just a little. The love that shone out of Harry was almost indescribable. “You’ll be lucky one day too.”

“Got pretty lucky the day you took me in.”

“We all did.” Harry kissed his forehead and eased out of him. He cleaned them up and went to his clothes.

“No, let me,” Eggsy said and got up. His legs wobbled a little, but he straightened. He wanted to dress Harry. He couldn’t explain it, but he knew it was important. He helped Harry into his clothes and once the man was presentable, Eggsy went back to the bed and fell into a doze. He could hear Harry and Merlin whispering, knew it was about him, but he didn’t have the energy to care. He’d know soon enough.

Merlin’s hand was on his shoulder, and Eggsy blinked awake. “Hey, guv.”

“Eggsy, an hour’s rest is enough. Go shower, perhaps get a bite to eat, and we’ll talk.”

“Sure,” Eggsy nodded, and yawned. “You and Harry ever?”

“We have.”

“Was it -” Eggsy winced. “Sorry, not my place.”

“No, it isn’t. But yes, I fell just a little in love too. That is his great gift.”

“Like yours is the making a man think about your dick even when he is dying.”

“More, knowing just how much a person needs order and punishment. It is a fine line and I trod it well.”

“What is my gift, Merlin?”

“That is what we will be talking about.” Merlin gave his shoulder a squeeze and then disappeared.

Eggsy did everything Merlin had told him to, it was ninety minutes before he was knocking on the man’s door. “Okay?” he asked.

“It is,” Merlin gestured to the chair, “Eggsy I have finished my assessment. Harry has too. He thinks you will make an excellent tailor and would like you to, no matter what else you decide, maintain a your apprenticeship with him.”

Eggsy smiled happily. He was shocked how much he did love that side of the business, but it was fun - a puzzle to be made and put together. “I want to do that too,” he said. “Is it all I am going to be doing?” He was worried that that was how Merlin began.  That maybe he hadn’t been doing well in his lessons, that Harry had been a test and he had failed. “I can learn, get better.”

“Eggsy,” Merlin smiled, “breathe, don’t assume. You would be an excellent addition to the second half of the business as well. And we welcome you to a proper apprenticeship there as well.”

“How long?”

“Harry and I agree, that you would be ready for clients in about a month,” Merlin explained. “I’ve been watching you carefully, your work would center around service. You would perform best for those who want to be cared for, pampered.”

“Like what Harry does?”

“Not quite,” Merlin said. “He cherishes, worships. There is a good shot some of your clients you wouldn’t even touch their cocks.”


“You have a service kink Eggsy. It has been apparent but with Harry, I became certain. You love undressing people, taking care of their clothes. I bet you would greatly enjoy shaving someone.”

Eggsy flushed a little at the thought of shaving Merlin.

Merlin smiled a bit. “And you respond to compliments, praise. Beautifully.”

Eggsy was thinking. He supposed it made sense. “I think I get it?” He wasn’t fully sure.

“The next month will help you understand. Your mentor will guide you, teach you now that we know your specialty.”

his would be me,” Merlin said. “Is that acceptable to you?”

Eggsy swallowed and looked at Merlin. Harry’s gaze had been so soft and fond, and it made Eggsy fall in love just a little.


Merlin’s gaze was hot, and full of dark promise, and a million things he couldn’t read, but he desperately wanted to. Harry’s gaze had been just enough. With Merlin he wanted more, so much more.

“Yes, sir,” Eggsy said, and oh that gaze grew even hotter. “Yes, that is acceptable to me.”

Chapter Text

“Got a bit of news, yeah?” Eggsy said as he put some of the Tikka on his plate. “Bloody hell, Sean, this is amazing.”

“We tend to trade recipes while repairing engines.” Sean put a little of just the sauce in a bowl, and gave Daisy small bits of naan bread to dip in.  “But I don’t think dinner is your news?”

“Tell me there will be leftovers for me to take back to Roxy,” Eggsy pleaded. “She’ll love.”

“Made a huge pot, plenty to take home,” Sean promised.

“News?” Michelle nudged Eggsy. She put a touch of yogurt on top of her Tikka. Sean hadn’t made it overly spicy, but she had a low tolerance for heat.

“News,” Eggsy nodded, and filled his mouth before he said and enjoyed Sean’s eyeroll, and his mum’s huff of exasperation. “Had a talk with the bosses. My early assessment has gone well, and I’m doing a full apprenticeship, with the expectation that I’ll have my first client in a month or so, depending on how long takes me to get the hang of zippers. Which not gonna lie, Sean you are being a guinea pig for me.”

“I’d be happy to, lad,” Sean promised with a huge smile on his face. “That is wonderful news, Eggsy.” 

“Oh, Eggsy,” Michelle’s face was a mix of happy and sad. She shook her head, and excused herself.

Eggsy looked to Sean who tilted his head, and Eggsy followed her to the living room. “I thought you would be happy for me?” He looked at her, and she was a mix of smiling and crying. “I think you are happy for me?”

“I am,” she swore. “I truly am, darling.” She came over and gave him a huge hug. “It is wonderful news. I just...I’m worried over nothing.”

“Maybe not?” Eggsy pulled back a little. “Can’t know if you don’t tell me.”

“It is a very...indoors sort of job.”

“Okay?” Eggsy was a bit lost.

“You have so much of your father in you, and I mean, gymnastics, the army, your parkour. Sewing in a back room, day in, day out. I don’t want you being bored. Looking back, and realizing that you made the wrong choice.”

Eggsy smiled and had to pull her back in for a hug. “Oh, Mum.”

“I don’t want your spark to dim,” she said and groaned. “Fuck, they have got to switch the telly channels at work, way too much daytime self care bullshit.”

He laughed. “Promise, Mum, the bosses, have no interest in dimming my spark. And yeah, it is indoor work, and I’m sure there are days that will be boring. But the crew, Mum, these people? They are just where I belong. Click with them, even more than I did my old unit. Something just...well if it is a boring day, can always go for a run after, right?”

“They do see how amazing you are, that is a point in their favour. And Roxy is really lovely.”

“She is, swear down, it is like classy Jamal with tits.”

Michelle snorted a bit. “Care about those tits do you?”

“Eww, no, besides she has Tilde remember? Those two are a forever thing I ever saw one.” Eggsy rubbed his hands up and down her arms. “Promise. Not spark dimming.”

“We are forgetting I said that.” She nodded. “Right, well then, back to Tika and celebrating your wonderful news.”

“Siachi me!!!!”

They both winced. “Oh dear,” Michelle hurried to the kitchen.

Eggsy was on her heels and they saw Sean give a huge squeeze of the bottle over Daisy’s little bowl. “There you go, Daisy, a huge goop of sirachi just like your brother.”  Not a drop had come out of the bottle. “Let me just mix it in good for you.”

Daisy waited, and dipped her bread in. “Yummmmmmm,” she said. “Like Eggsy’s.”

“Yeah, just like me,” he agreed with a grin and tucked into the food.


“Good,” Merlin praised.

You’d think by now, Eggsy would be used to that, but he wasn’t. He flushed as he did, each and every damn time Merlin praised him. He was shining shoes today, which sure he had been a marine he knew how to shine a shoe, but this was different. He was putting on a show with it, learning not to have it done in ninety seconds, but to take his time, slow his strokes. 

That thought made him giggle a bit, but he was thankful that Merlin didn’t comment. The last week had been all about this sort of stuff, and that was it. There had been zero sex and he was dying a little. Because no sex didn’t mean no contact. Merlin’s hands guiding his, helping him learn how to hold his body, how to angle himself, how to serve but never make himself small. Merlin was making him feel good about being into this.

But goddamn he hoped the lessons would soon involve naked Merlin.

“Excellent work, Eggsy,” Merlin praised. “Now undress me, to the skin and help me into the robed hanging there.”

Eggsy blinked, for a moment thought he was daydreaming. Or just dreaming, he had had a few dreams like that. But Merlin was staring, waiting. “Fuck, you really did just say that, didn’t you?”

“I did, and I prefer not to be kept waiting, Eggsy.” The tone was a bit firmer, not chiding, but guiding, and Eggsy nodded.

He undressed Merlin, using all his training, and had the man down to his pants. “To the skin?” he confirmed. A personal thing, he had decided for himself was confirmation, consent. He hadn’t told Merlin about this, but it was important to him. “Sir?”

Merlin looked at him, and Eggsy wondered if he’d be punished or such for not just doing as asked. But Merlin just tilted his head a bit. “To the skin,” he agreed, and Eggsy slowly pulled up the black boxer briefs. Eggsy had been given enough training that he didn’t pout when Merlin wasn’t hard, but he was thinking about pouting very much.

“I have my own training, to hold myself in as much control as I can in situations like these,” Merlin said. “Remind me one day to tell you about the cock cage era.”

Eggsy whimpered a bit at the thought of Merlin cock locked away like that -- it didn’t deserve such cruelty. “Why would you do that?”

“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Merlin’s voice was dry. “I can tell you more over tea one day. But now we focus.”

“Robe. Yes, sir,” Eggsy said and went to retrieve the robe. He moaned a little. He wasn’t sure he had ever felt something so soft before. It was so plush and heavy in the best way. Eggsy was sure he had a robe like that, he’d never take it off. He brought it over and held it open. “For you,” he said. His voice said those words differently. Quieter. Not reverent but appreciative. That he had the chance to hold out such a robe, for such a man.

Merlin’s arms slid in, and Eggsy tied it carefully around his waist. He didn’t do it loosely, to tease a good bit of skin, but firmly, covering Merlin, making Merlin comfortable. Because it wasn’t about how he’d love to see those abs, it was about him.

“Perfection,” Merlin praised, and Eggsy felt his cock stir.  “I have the ensuite set up for us.”

Eggsy nodded and went first to open the door. In the ensuite a chair had been set up and shaving equipment laid out carefully.

That explained the shadow on Merlin’s jaw. 

Merlin sat in the chair and watched Eggsy in the mirror. “You’ve been practicing like I requested?”

Eggsy could feel himself turning bright red. “Uhh, yeah, but takes me forever to grow a beard, so been shaving Roxy’s legs for her?”

Merlin chuckled a little bit. “Resourceful.” He gestured. “Go on then,” he ordered.

Eggsy nodded, and went to the supplies. He was relieved it was an exact copy of the kit that he had taken home. He hadn’t been practicing as much making this look elegant, too focused on learning how to use a damn safety razor after years of cheap disposable ones, but he had the hang of it now, he was pretty sure. Eggsy was mostly thankful it wasn’t a straight razor those things looked too murdery for his comfort.

He prepared the shave foam, and Merlin quietly instructed him a bit, and Eggsy adjusted how he held himself, how he moved. Another murmured bit of praise almost had him aching. He covered Merlin’s cheek. He noticed a few of the wrinkles around Merlin’s eyes, a couple age spots and on his skin. Nothing distracted from how charismatic the man was. All Eggsy wanted was him.

But all the heat he saw in Merlin’s eyes, all the comments, it was a work thing. At least he had good images for his spank bank. “Ready, sir?” Eggsy asked.

“I am,” Merlin agreed, and closed his eyes, trusting Eggsy. Eggsy felt as strong as fucking Superman that Merlin was giving him that trust. 

Eggsy began shaving Merlin. He tilted Merlin’s head a bit when he needed to, and knew to keep the gestures firm, and steady. Let the blade do the work. He didn’t even realize he had started singing, but he was, a soft old song, he couldn’t even remember the name of it. He cleaned the razor and worked left to right, until Merlin was smooth. He wiped Merlin’s face and used the Kingsman aftershave. “There you are, sir, right as rain.” Eggsy stood at parade rest next to the chair. He wondered if the lesson was over.

He almost flinched at the look in Merlin’s eyes. The man looked hard, terrifying. It made him a touch scared, and a lot aroused. “Sir?” He swallowed. “I see no blood, did I hurt you?”

In a blink, Eggsy found himself on the clean half of the counter, and it felt like Merlin was trying to kiss the soul out of his body, it was devouring. He didn’t have a particular problem with that and wrapped his legs around Merlin. Merlin was hard against him, and his mouth had moved to Eggsy’s neck. “You make me hunger, Eggsy.”

“You make that sound like a problem,” Eggsy was almost breathless.

Merlin stilled against him, but didn’t move away. “Because it is.”

“You want me. I want you, that is not a problem,” Eggsy insisted. He slid his hands into the robe. “Merlin, please. Fuck I’ve dreamed of your cock so much, Roxy is sick of me shouting your name in my sleep. Washing sheets like I’m 15 again.”

“I am your trainer for the next month. It is a job I take seriously, and it feels too…”

“You are not taking advantage of me,” Eggsy snapped. “I want.”

“You are asking not just for your own needs, but for me to abandon my personal morality here, Eggsy,” Merlin snapped back. “This was supposed to end at the shaving. And then you sang, and no training I’ve had could keep me from getting hard at the combination of your hands and your voice.”

“Bedroom right over there,” Eggsy pointed out. “And you going to tell me none of the training would have involved us fucking it out?”

“Not the point,” Merlin said. “It wasn’t going to today. This is me wanting you. Not a mentor teaching a new worker. And you blur lines far too much for me.”

Eggsy had a horrible thought. “Wait, I thought you said Kingsman can date. Is there a rule that they can’t date each other?”

“If there were Oliver and Harry would have some problems.”

Eggsy looked at Merlin. “You figure I’ll be done training in a month, yeah?”

“Bit less than now, after your final exam as it were.”

“The day after that we are going on a date and you are going to fuck me raw. You, Merlin.” Eggsy pulled him tight, and poured everything into that kiss.

“Merlin is the man who is going to be training you over the next few weeks,” Merlin said and stepped back. “And the day after you become a Kingsman, Grant is going to ask you out for a date and fuck you raw."

“Grant and Gary. Think maybe we stick with Merlin and Eggsy?”

“Aye, that suits me very well.” Merlin looked at him. “Good work, Eggsy.”

“Thanks,” Eggsy flushed a little. “Can we at least watch each other wank?”

Merlin snorted a bit, and walked out of the bathroom, which Eggsy supposed was his answer. He had a furious wank in the shower and cleaned up the kitchen.

The next day there was a delivery to his flat, someone paid a fortune for overnight. 

There was a card atop the tissue paper that simple said. For the day after. Grant .

Eggsy figured high end sex toys was their flowers as he sifted through the box. Fuck but he was looking forward to that day after.