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regrets

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he didn’t mean for this to happen.

it started off as a small mistake, he’s taking a rookie home and helps him wash up. he doesn’t expect the rookie to grab him by the face, pressing those soft plump lips to his. he doesn’t know what comes over him as he just follows his instincts.

he doesn’t expect to be a cheater.

and yet it happens.

he doesn’t expect this to be more than a one time occurrence.

Gavin’s drunk, he wasn’t in the right state of mind when he kissed Hank that night.

and yet,,, Gavin still contains some sort of interest in Hank despite the fact that the man is married.

affectionate kisses in the police patrol car.

letting his gaze linger on Hank a little longer than it should.

teasing him at work.

some days they get off each other in the bathrooms.

other days, they’re cuddled up with each other after work hours.

Gavin knows, of course he does.

he knows that he’s just a fling, that he’s easily disposable and he’s only holding onto this fragile thing that exists only between the two of them.

he loves Hank.

that’s why their separation was the most painful.

for him, at least.

Hank’s grown distant towards his wife, so when she breaks the big news to him...

he’s shocked.

he has to end things with Gavin, immediately.

it doesn’t go well.

Gavin’s hurt.

his feelings of resentment quickly turn bitter.

he doesn’t speak to the older man, not at all unless it was necessary.

Hank understands, it was bound to end up this way.

months went by, and then Cole had been born.

Hank couldn’t describe the euphoric amount of happiness when he first held Cole in his arms in the hospital.

he was happy, so fucking happy.

then karma struck back.

he lost Cole.

he lost Cole in a car accident in the snowy streets of Detroit.

he hasn’t been the same ever since.

the divorce came quick, and there Hank was... all alone, once again.

no one by his side.

occasionally, he catches Gavin glancing at him while he walks in the police department doors, inebriated.

sometimes he wishes things had been different.