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“We’ll start the bidding at $500.000 ! “ the auctioneer points towards The Joker, who is chained to the wall and sure doesn’t look pleased with this evening’s events. But there is nothing he can do about it and he is aware of it. He certainly fought them, that’s why he’s tight up. J should have known better but …there he is.

You lift your hand up and so do several more.

“You’re popular, Mister Joker” the announcer snickers and you know J enough to notice he might snap soon. Please don’t do anything reckless, it’s only going to make it worse, you think to yourself, worried.

“What about a million dollars, hm?”

Poison Ivy turns towards you, winking:

“Wanna share him? We can go half-half girl,” she bites her lip, enthusiastic.

“Not on J, Ivy”, you answer, determined to hold your ground.

“Uhhhh, you’re no fun Y/N! But I can understand how powerful an old flame can be… ” she sighs, playing with her hair.

“ 2 million?” you hear and you lift your hand again. So many wanting him… If anybody else gets The Clown Prince of Crime it won’t be pretty. He can probably handle it… and yet something inside you doesn’t want you to give up.

“ 5 million! “ you raise your voice and all heads turn towards you.

The Joker finally notices you and grinds his teeth, definitely not glad with the encounter.

“6!” Ivy waves at the auctioneer, excited.

“7!” you keep on going, irritated she is just doing it to antagonize you.

“8!”

You take a deep breath and loudly exclaim:

“12 million!” People start talking and whispering and Ivy pouts, already bored:

“She can have him for that price,” she giggles, elbowing you. You pinch her arm, smiling and relieved you won.

“12 million going once, going twice…. Mister Joker is sold to Miss Y/N for 12 million!”

Everyone starts clapping and congratulating you; he just stares with a blank expression on his face, wanting to kill everyone in the huge room. At least he didn’t do anything stupid for once.

***********************

“Untie him,” you command once J is brought to your quarters. He starts cussing, trying to kick the guards and you cover his mouth while they take the chains off.

“Please shut up, you’ll get in trouble. It’s your turn and there is nothing you can do about it. If you run or try to trick them, they will take away everything from you and you’ll have nothing to get back to in Gotham, you know it. Most than likely you’ll end up dead; they don’t like rebellions, no matter who the person is. Are you good now?” you ask and his chest goes up and down really fast but he nods a yes. “Good, “you let go and the guards are done too. “Leave us,” you signal and once they are gone you close the door behind them, finally relaxing a bit.

“Where the hell were you???!!!” he stomps towards you, extremely furious and pushes you so brutally you almost fall on your back. “You just left me without a word???!! Gone for 8 months and now I find myself here with you as my buyer for the next half a year?!!! Do…do you know how long I’ve… I’ve searched for you?” he takes it down a notch, keeping his hands in his hair, panting.

You just regain your balance and calmly inform him:

“You know I postponed my time for as long as I could until they didn’t play along anymore. They came for me at my apartment and I had to go. I couldn’t contact you because they don’t allow it, you know the rules. I thought you would have guessed on why I disappeared…I didn’t leave you…” you blink faster, rubbing your cheeks, not wanting to get too emotional about it.

“Why didn’t you come back, hm?” he points his finger at you, still mad. “Your 6 months were up two months ago!!!”

“I stayed for you!” you suddenly scream and he frowns, not expecting it. “I knew your time will be up soon and you won’t be able to avoid it. I wanted to buy you so none of the ones having a grudge against you will !!!! Once you leave you can’t come back so I stayed. That’s why I chose to remain here as a bidder, you, you…ungrateful JERK!!!” you lash out at him, upset and almost regretting your decision.

“Jeez, thanks,” The Joker has the nerve to sarcastically mock you, even if on the inside he gets the picture.

“You dare talking to me like this?!” you tremble with anger, trying not to have a meltdown. “You know this is everyone’s chance to get revenge on those whom they don’t like or have a grudge against. And you, King of Gotham...“ you smirk, fuming with vexation,”… have a lot of enemies among our own. You should be so grateful right now that you’re mine and not someone else’s! Do you know Ivy wanted to share, huh? Do you know what happens to the men she buys? I’ve seen it and it’s not pretty. Harvey hates you, he would have torn you to pieces until the bitter end of your 6 months. Riddler would have driven you insane, really insane; you wouldn’t have recognized yourself at the end of your time!!! You think you know mind games? HA! Try his!… And the list goes on and on!”

You take a deep breath because spitting out this stuff made you all worked up.

J definitely seems speechless for once; he keeps on looking at you up and down, debating:

“Who… who bought you?” he utters, taking off his jacket and placing it on the bed.

“I was lucky it was Dr. Freeze,” you sniffle. “Due to his…condition, I mostly just had to do the business part for The Organization. A few times…”, he sees your eyes getting teary, “…I don’t want to talk about it, OK? And then I stayed…waiting for you…so I can get you and nobody else. That’s how much I cared. But don’t worry, that’s not the case anymore,” you hiss at him, regaining your composure. “ I just wanted to repay you for that time during the Wayne Industry heist you saved my life. I don’t want to owe you, understand?” you quickly make up a reason this way it won’t show how hurt you are. He has no idea what you’ve been through and what it took for you to stay when all you desired was to leave and run back to him.

The Joker just lifts his shoulders up, puckering his lips:

“So this means I don’t have to sleep with you and all that stuff since I’m yours for 6 months?”

“Exactly, I don’t want you to touch me; just worry about the business part of it and get them as much money as they want! I’m responsible for you so try not to get us both killed. Then you’re done and that’s it. If you want to stay as a bidder afterwards, it will be your choice,” you grumble, shaking your head since J is really getting on your nerves.

He deliberates for a few seconds before talking again:

“So…what am I supposed to do if I…get…the urge, Doll?”

“What?!” you snarl, not amused. The Joker was hoping it would make you smile. “Whatever you did while I was gone!” you bark at him and head towards the bathroom, adamant to take a shower, maybe it will help cool you off.

You hear the knock in the door and it scares you. Were you two really loud?! Hopefully they didn’t hear the argument or you’re in big trouble.

“Take your shirt off, quickly!” you tell him while you pull your dress over your head, taking your bra off and tossing it to the side. He knows why so for once he does as asked and you push him in bed, getting on top of him really fast and covering everything you can with the blanket.

“Come in,” you turn your head and one of the guards walks in, averting his eyes when he sees the both of you like that.

“What is it? I’m busy enjoying my prize!” you growl, covering your breasts with your hands.

“I’m so…so sorry to interrupt, Miss Y/N. I have the Organization’s list of everything Mister Joker has to do for 6 months, all the heists, kidnappings and…”

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” J replies, irked, getting on his elbows. “Just get out, we know the drill; the lady’s having fun, OK? She sure wants her money’s worth so I have to get back to business, like…NOW!”

“Leave that stuff on the table,” you point with your head and the guard obliges, turning around afterwards and exiting your quarters.

“Of course, m-my apologies again,” he nervously stammers, closing the door.

“Good, this helped; it looks believable,” you whisper. “Would you take your hand out of my bikini?!” you slap his arm, trying to kick him in the crotch as you get off him.

“Heyyyy, watch the merchandise, you paid 12 million for it!” J snickers and he doesn’t like the fact that you’re still upset. But he was a complete ass, so…

“You’re not worth it, trust me…” you sadly reply and he bites his tongue because he sure wants to say something very mean. “I’m going for a shower, I have 2 more bathrooms in my quarters, pick one,” you let him know with a sour expression on your face, heading back towards your own.

*************************

“So I’m sleeping here?” he inquires, slamming 4 pillows on the bed.

“Yes, you know the rules: you have to sleep in the same bed with your buyer. Sometimes they raid the rooms at night, they sure don’t care about privacy too much. You can’t lock the doors, ever. We have to follow protocol.”

The Joker huffs, fiddling around with his boxers before sitting down.

“How was sleeping in the same bed with Dr. Freeze?” he inquires, watching you roll your eyes:

“Cold!” you shortly reply and continue: “This is a double king so there’s plenty of space. Make sure you stay on your side, don’t try your sneaky ways with me,” you warn him, getting comfortable under your comforter. You reach your hand and turn off the lamp when you hear:

“Hey, Y/N, do they have stripers here?”

“Shut the hell up, J!” you place the cover on top of your head, hoping he’ll be quiet.

“No, seriously, do they?” he tries again.

Since you don’t answer, The Joker assumes he can continue yapping:

“I think you should know I might have got somebody pregnant.”

“For God’s sake, give it a rest, will you?” you turn on the other side. “I don’t care!” but after a few seconds he is so pleased to hear your muffled voice from under the covers: “Did you really?!”

His maniacal laughter resonates in the bedroom and you decide not to say anything anymore.

************************

You wake up sweating, feeling really hot and you realize why: he got under your comforter and he’s squeezing the life out of you in his sleep.

“J, wake up, go on your side!” you take his hands away from around your waist, not wanting him so close to you. “This better be your gun!” you push him away, not entertained at the situation.

“Nope, not my gun, you know I sleep naked,” he groans, half asleep. “Old habits, don’t flatter yourself,” and he tries to snuggle by you again.

“I’m not. Stop bugging me, I mean it!” you punch him in the arm, aggravated again.

“Don’t hit me!” he musters, trying really hard not to hit you back. “…What the hell is this?!” J grumbles, feeling your skin from under your t-shirt.

“Not all my missions were easy, I have more scars now,“ you confess, not happy at the memories, pulling away from him and he finally lets go and rolls over towards his side of the bed.

“I’m sure you deserved it,” he maliciously responds, getting cozy with his pillows. He certainly likes to bite.

Just make sure you do what you have to do for your 6 months and then you’re done…we’re done with this nonsense…” you sulk since you are fed up with his crap.

“Whatever, I don’t give a damn!” he has one last outburst before winding down. “Hey Y/N, can you imagine me sleeping in the same bed with Dead Shot or Harvey? Those guys are boring.”

And you thought he was done. But you don’t reply.

“But Ivy though… that woman knows how to make other men want her and… ouch! Hey, watch it!” The Joker protests when he receives one of your pillows right in the face. “I’m keeping this one too,” he decides and hears you mumble not very nice things; it pleases him to realize he still has the power to antagonize you.

***********************

He came back from one of his mission with a black eye. Because of his pale skin, it looks so much worse than it is.

“Can you see?” you ask, staring at his eye: definitely doesn’t look clear blue anymore: just red, swollen and inflamed.

“Somewhat,” J sighs, grabbing the ice bag from your hand and placing it over his bruise.

“You should go to one of the doctors here, I don’t want you to go blind,” you pout, unconsciously keeping your hand on top of his.

“I thought you don’t care,” he pushes your hand away, pretending to be in pain.

“I don’t,” you are fast to respond. “I just want you to be able to continue with your assignments, remember I am responsible for you. Are you sure you don’t need a doctor?”

“Pffttt, I’m OK, I’m The Joker. I don’t need anybody for anything,” he puffs, hinting at you not being important to him.

Like you need clues.

“Yes, honey,” you make it a point of being overly sarcastic while saying it, “we are all aware of that!” and you slam the door, leaving the confused J sitting on the couch with a displeased expression on his face. He sure believed you will put up with his temper and venomous remarks and baby him. This is what you used to do…

********************

He returned from a robbery with two bullet wounds in his right arm. The medical team took care of that and patched him up well, but you know it’s not going to be easy: he’s never been a good patient.

He keeps on tossing and turning, wincing in pain while you want to nap. You try not to pay attention but he won’t quit. You even cover your head with a pillow; it’s no use.

“I think I have a fever,” he whines, pulling at your blanket.

“Uuuhhhhh,” you get up on your side, wishing you have shared him with Ivy so she can get a taste of his wonderful interpersonal skills. But since you didn’t…joke’s on you. “No you don’t!” you snap but move towards him anyway to check. Old habits…

“See? I’m burning up,” J complains and starts purring when you touch his forehead.

“You’re fine, you don’t seem… too…hot…” you utter and glare when he takes your hand and kisses it.

“I am hot, maybe horny, can’t really tell,” he flashes his silver smile at you, winking.

“Stop your stupid games!” you back out, regretting you felt for it.

“What games?! I got shot and I’m in pain. Com’ere,” he gestures for you and it makes you cringe.

“No, I’m fine where I am,” you decline and The Joker is not used with rejection. He opens his mouth to say something vicious and you just ignore him. “Good night!” you cut it short, wanting to rest. You manage to put your ear plugs in, not willing to listen to a single word that comes out of his mouth anymore. He sure blurred out a lot of things that you didn’t hear.

*************************

2 in the morning and you wake up startled, not knowing why. You stretch, adjusting against your body pillow when you hear J groan in his sleep, uncomfortable from his fresh wounds he got on another commision today.

He’s dozing off in the middle of the bed and since you have the nightlight on you can distinguish the grimace of pain on his face and messy green hair. You watch his restless sleep for a while and bite your cheek, worried without even noticing. You move close to him and touch his forehead but it doesn’t seem like he has a fever.

You remember how you used to comfort him when he got injured in the past and you press your lips against the bandages, not even knowing why you’re doing it. Old habits…

“What are you doing?” J yawns, scrunching up his face with his eyes closed.

“Kissing it better,” you bitterly reply and can’t help but sensing your heart beating faster when he answers:

“It does feel better…” and he softly pulls on your hair, snoozing, playing with the long strands until he’s out cold again. You wouldn’t know that what you did sure relaxed him; he wouldn’t admit to it even if it kills him, but he really misses your touch. Old habits…

You swear in your mind this is the only time you will be nice to him since he really screwed up. You have to be strong, this way you can have revenge for all the anguish you suffered for his sake.

*********************

Today is the end of his 6 months service and The Joker ended up being stabbed on his mission. Since it’s quite a superficial lesion, they allowed him to take the rest of the day off. He mopes around the quarters, delighted his ordeal is over with. He sure didn’t enjoy serving his time for The Organization. So much money, diamonds and guns he got for them and he couldn’t keep anything. He completely detests it but there was no way around it.

Where is she? J wonders since he didn’t see you at all today. He really wants to get out of there as soon as possible.

You enter the rooms with the 4 guards and seem deep in thought. When you leave the premises for good you have to always be accompanied by them; you can’t take anything with you; all stays behind.

“Finally Y/N, let’s get out of here!” he impatiently grabs your hand and starts dragging you out. “Walk faster!” J barks and after a few moments you yank your hand away, staying behind while the security team closely follows his steps. He turns his head, reaching for you again while pacing down the hallway.

“Come on, what you are doing?! Move it!”

“I’m staying…” The Joker hears your voice echoing and he halts, not even knowing why he has this strong desire for you to follow him.

“You’re what?!” he tilts his head, irritated and wants to head back towards you but the guards won’t let him.

“You can’t go back sir, you know the rules. Please keep walking!”

“What the hell are you doing, Y/N?! Let’s go!” he yells, trapped in between the wardens.

You blink fast a few times, hesitant. You sure want to get out of the place as fast as him… yet:

“They’re bringing Frost in tomorrow,” you talk loud enough so he can hear you. “I want to get him; a lot of them hate Jonny for his connection to you.”

“That’s so stupid! I thought you want to run out of here as soon as I was done with my time!” he shouts as the guards make him move again.

He keeps on looking back and you don’t say anything; you just lift your hand and wave a faint good-bye, your eyes getting watery while watch him depart. You don’t even know why you are so upset; he’s definitely not worth it.

“Fuck!” J grumbles, irked he won’t see you anytime soon. He can’t understand why his selfish self keeps on having doubts about leaving you behind; you’re definitely not worth it. “Hold on!” he gets the attention of his wardens. He takes a deep breath and passes his fingers through his hair, wanting to keep his mouth shut but something inside makes him pronounce the words: “I’m staying as a bidder.”

“Are you sure, Mister Joker?” one of the guys double checks.

“Yes, I’m sure, even if I’m aware this is the most stupid decision I’ve ever made…besides dating her, of course,” he scoffs, heading back towards you.

You pretend you don’t care at all when he comes in front of you and starts rambling, dramatically gesturing to accentuate his feelings:

“If you think you will get Frost and sleep with him in the same bed without me supervising the whole damn thing, you’re wrong!”

“Huh?!” you look so confused when he angrily hugs you.

Him and his stupid jealousy… Old habit.