Actions

Work Header

dear vay,

Work Text:

Dear Vay,

I know it’s been a while.

I don’t even know if you’ll ever see this, but I really hope so. I just wanted to say that I hope you’re dreaming safely, and I hope you’re okay... if you're dreaming at all.

If you're reading this, you probably are confused what this is for. You've been in your coma for a long time... and I just wanted to write something that would reach your ears one day... do you technically have ears? Um... sorry. But, I miss you. We miss you alot a lot. Most of us learned how to write just for this, too. I just kind of want to know, though.

What happened? What did I do? I miss the spunky little Eevee I knew back before the incident. I miss the Vay who could depend on me, I miss the Vay I could depend on too. What happened to you that destroyed you? Is it bad I've always wanted to know? I almost hate myself for my curiousity curiosity. I feel.. I feel... it's not about how I feel. It's about how you feel.

And if it's about how you feel, I want you to feel happier. I want you to love like you did before. Please.

Signing off,

Bolt.

There's a rip on the paper. A single tear ruptures the neat handwriting, smearing the pen as the page is flipped to the next. No words are spoken. The next page goes to messier writing, though he can make every word out after careful calculation.

Deor Dear Vay,

i love you.

It's hard for me to understand why, sometimes, and I admit that sady sadly. You probbly probably don't feel the same way, to be honest, but I love you. Everyone is too much of a coward to admit they feel the same, but I really do. You're my twin. You're my brother. You're the person I turn to when I want some quiet but I also want a presence, so why do you shut me out?

It's probably hard for you to believe, but you're my favorite brother. Don't tell Dusk, though. He's a big fat meanie. I want to be the shoulder you cry on. I want to protect you. I want you to love me back, because I love you. You're the closest thing I have to feeling like family. It's like a distant eco echo, a feeling that I don't remember, one I can't grasp onto, like I knew you before everything was whiped wiped. Like you trusted me before I forgot.

Tears before his have already stained the paper. They're dry, though, but they blotch out a few words and make them impossible to read. A whole paragraph, but he can distantly make it out.

I don't know if you've gotten with the program, if you're reading this, but why did you do it?

He continues.

How long did you suffer in silence before we found you? Why did you have the breakdown that lead you to this? Why do you feel so fragile now, like I can never look at you in the hospital bed in the same way nd why do i miss you so much? why do i feel like this what did i do???? 

All signs of grammar were disappearing, like it was blurred and rushed as it continued. More tears stained the edges of the crinkled pages, but he couldn't care less. Something drew him in to continue reading.

i was just gettinga grasp of the writing thing too. lisen, dont have much more time and paper to write this, but i just want you to know that you've always been my favorite and i'm gonna visit you daily when you get back and i'm going to talk to you and i'm going to make sure u never feel unloved and unwanted again because i love you so much and i want you to know that okay??? please know there's always someone u can lissen listen to ok

bye love you,

blizz.

He clutched the paper, genuinely surprised at its contents, the amount of heart and soul that had been poured into the limited time. It made his heart swell, but at the same time it made him feel so guilty.

He continued, trying not to dwell.

Dear Vay,

I hope you're reading this.

Personally, I hope you took enough time out of your day now that you're back... if you're back. I'm referring to someone who might not even exist, and that's the scary part, but I really hope so.

Because I've been hopeful ever since Blizz and I found you in the room, half-dead. The sight still haunts me now, and it's really hurting, because I feel like it's something we did. What did we do? I'm scared for you, I hope you're recovering at least. You probably don't know, since you'd be reading this in the future, but I'm writing this next to your hospital bed. Dawn's here, too. I'm giving the pen to her next, she's very eager.

So.

You didn't deserve this, Vay. You're one of the most kind, respectful, and determined individuals I've ever had the pleasure of meeting, even in your more reckless days. You used to be a ball of sunshine, and now you're a moonlight. You're still glowing, a reflection of who you used to be, and that's okay. If you're happy with yourself, that's what matters. I just want to see you happy.

What you did wasn't an act of happiness. I'm not going to put the small optimistic spin on this situation, because there is no scenario in any universe where this incident is a good thing, and I hope you know that. You're not better off dead, and I want to help you recover. I want you to talk to me, Vay. I want you to care about me like I care about you, even if it feels impossible.

The road to recovery is a bumpy one, but I want you to believe in yourself. I better give the pen to Dawn now, before she strangles me, but I just hope its been drilled through your head at this point.

We care about you, we love you, and we just want to see you happy.

Bye,

Dusk.

Just those words made him cry, because nobody had ever said that to him after the incident, ever. It had always been awkward small talk, the occasional uplifting comment, and Bolt finally noticing something wrong, but being helpless to do anything about it. Then he had done something unspeakable, something unthinkable, and here he was now. Why did he feel so bad about it?

Hesitantly, he turned the page.

Dear Vay,

i hope you're doing okay right now, wherever u are n dreamland.

you seemed so sad all the time, I've hardly had any chance to talk to u at all nd i'm kinda rushing this because i don't have much to say but don't tell dusk ok??

anyway i miss u regardless. ur my brother and ur really nice outside of all of the sadness and i know it. i just do bc u've been nothing but supportive in the brief period of time we got to talk even if u were kind of scary/scared of me etc. whatever

i heard u get dreams when ur in comas, like big ones n you can hear us when we talk. maybe u heard tht one time dusk n i talked b4 i started writing this hmm. 've been calling out to u, u no. in ur dreams. i hope u've been hearing me bc bolt's been rlly weird and i want to tell u everything about how its going without u. its kinda scary tho, hopefully i'm not making it worse bc i don't want that!!!

i kinda wanna know tho... what happned b4 i was old enuff 2 be aware of what was goin on??? u guys seem so sad all the time, ur just the prime example n i wanna kno who's at fault bc blizz has seemed rlly sad lately due to u. how close are u guys??? was it blizz's fault? do u want me to punch him? please respond when u wake up btw because i'll punch him for u.

srsly tho. forget their bs up there because i know ur gonna wake up 2. i have the feeling and im not ever wrong ok?? im a contest star in training and i'll punch all the meanies away ok??

good.

i'll punch blizz right now ok,

Dawn

His light, hardly existent (almost generic) smile dropped as more of a contemplation of the events washed over him. He should've gone to her, he realized. He should have asked her to punch Blizz for him, perhaps it would end all of the annoying visits at his door when he wanted at least a shred of alone time... yeah. That would have been nice. He should have found this sooner.

Damn, he ruined that chance. He was too late now, wasn't he?

Slowly but surely, he turned the page.

Dear Vay,

I bet these messages haven't meant much to you.

I'll have you know, I'm not good with spelling, and I've had to ask Dusk a lot. But I've been practicing a lot for this, okay? Like, a lot a lot. I wrote this like, a week after Dawn did. I'll just say, her writing is bad and it's a waste of your time. You shouldn't read it, Dawn is an absolute pansy.

But still, you're going to wake up and I'm usually more right than her. In a way, I feel like you took the easy way out, you absolute coward. Stay here and suffer with us, that's your job, right? If you want, I'll suffer right there next to you, because maybe that's the best way to work with it, I think. I'm not too good on other people's emotions. They make me nervous.

Seriously, you're not allowed to die. Not on my watch. It's kind of 50/50 if you'll ever wake up, and I'm happy Bolt orgn orgin organise organized this for everyone, its really forced us to unite. I mean, I'm not the most social, I've been hiding in my room just as much as you at this point unless I need a breath of fresh generic air, but this incident has really pushed me to get up and interact a bit more. It's what you would want, right?

At least, I hope. Two great minds really think alike, and if I wasn't more of an idiot who had a lower IQ like you, I most likely would have followed in your pawsteps. Haha. Well, someone has to keep the negativity (that's how you spell it right) in the house while you're gone without cooping themselves up in their room and sulking, right? Seriously though. Stay safe.

You better be okay when you wake up, 

Flame.

He gaped at it, surprised that such words of sentiment could come out of someone so broken. Maybe that meant something- what had he done? Why had he done it? Why had he hurt and affected so many innocent brothers and kits because he wallowed in his own self misery?

Vay held back tears.

He looked up, feeling nameless, at the egg that had been forced from something he hadn't wanted in the first place, blue eyes half-closed, tears still tracking his cheeks. He put down the notebook, accidentally flipping to the next page, which held something in it too, and he looked down with confusion, quickly grasping it once again and sniffling with confusion. He really wanted to cry again, squinting through his blurred vision under the pale light.

A picture. Drawn by Bolt.

He, himself, was standing above in the sky, fur flecked with stars, smiling warmly as he stared down at the P.C box. The text next to it was in the Jolteon's obviously loopy handwriting, a single tear stain on the side.

The stars love you too!! Please don't join them yet though, I'll miss you too much.

When he squinted, there were a few messages that he could pinpoint for everyone's handwriting, which made him surprised. Had they really done this just for him? How had he missed out on this until now, weeks after the whole fiasco?

please don't die on us bc brothers stick together. Blizz's messy handwriting, definitely.

Sometimes I hate everyone in the world but you. Please cherish that. Dusk's writing, a bit messy but easy to make out, like it had been practiced over and over again. How many times had he tried that?

i punched blizz n he punched me back, Dawn.

I agree with Blizz, though. You wouldn't just abandon us, right? And finally, Flame.

Vay could have cried.

So he did.