It will pass.
Namjoon licks his lips, taking a deep breath. He tries to focus on the words coming out of the actor’s mouth as the k-drama continues to take place in front of him. Once again, trying to distract himself from his own anxiety with silly tv programs isn’t working.
With a low groan and his lower lip trapped between his teeth, Namjoon stands up, turning off the device with the remote control and walking quickly to his bedroom.
Normally he could knock on his roommate Yoongi’s door and ask the older man to talk about his day and hopefully that would make Namjoon forget his stupid and pointless worries for a while. But Yoongi decided to sleep at his boyfriend’s today, and honestly, Namjoon can’t blame him. He would be curled up in his boyfriend’s bed right now - if he had one.
Being on break from world tours isn’t as heartwarming as he thought it’d be.
After changing clothes and putting on a coat and scarf, he’s out the door, phone and wallet in his pocket. Namjoon likes to walk and feel the wind on his face when he’s anxious. It reminds him that it’s just a bad moment. And like all bad moments, it won’t last forever.
As he starts his walk down the road in direction of the park, Namjoon tries to place where his anxiety is coming from. It often comes from his own insecurities, of thinking he’s not good enough. It’s something he has been working on with his therapist for three years now. There are ups and downs, like most things in life.
He notices a girl staring at him and smiles at her. He knows she won’t approach, their country’s culture guarantees that, and he also knows that an acknowledgement from him might make her entire day better.
Namjoon can’t really understand why people give a fuck about him, but they do, and he is grateful for it – for them. She blushes hard and turns away, typing on her phone fast. Even if his heart is racing and his hands are shaking, Namjoon can still chuckle softly at that.
When he finally reaches the park, Namjoon’s glad to notice there aren’t many people around. It’s 4 in the afternoon on a thursday, after all, people are probably working. As he should be, too. His boss asked him to deliver his contribution to track 8 by saturday and he has barely progressed in it since monday. Sometimes Namjoon’s brain goes blank and he hates himself for it. Maybe this is why he feels so anxious.
There’s a boy sitting in Namjoon’s favorite bench, and he very well could continue walking until he got to the next and empty one, but sitting on this bench meant Namjoon could stare at the river and that always made him calm. So he sits on the other end, doesn’t think he’s bothering the black-haired boy, but takes a few tentative looks at the other’s face just to be sure. He’s wearing sunglasses, mouth slightly open, headphones on. He doesn’t move an inch, apparently hasn’t even noticed Namjoon’s presence.
Namjoon then looks away, not wanting to intrude much. He tries to take deep breaths again, staring at the soft waves of the Han River, mind immediately going to the fight he had the week before with Seokjin. It has been resolved, they made up, but what if Jin is still mad at him somehow? What if–
“ All I need is me,” the boy sings softly. “ Oh, why do I feel lonely, oh yeah yeah yeah, I feel so lonely when I’m with me, I feel so lonely when I’m with me .” He then takes a deep breath and bites his lower lip. Namjoon stares, blankly. He shouldn’t, but he can’t help himself.
This boy was singing his song. He must be very immesert in his own thoughts not to notice Namjoon right there, or maybe he did notice him and just didn’t want to bother–
The boy shifts his position slightly and Namjoon sees the object in his thigh for the first time. It’s a white cane.
He turns his head away, facing the river once more. Suddenly, his hands stopped shaking. Namjoon takes that as a sign his mind decided to focus on something else – in this case, this boy. He wishes he knew his name.
Namjoon takes a deep breath again, closing his eyes. Don’t bother him just because you’re too curious for your own good.
“It’s a beautiful day, isn’t it?” The boy speaks calmly and Namjoon’s eyes snap open while he stares again. He feels his heart beating insanely against his chest. “Sorry if I scared you,” He is looking at the river, but his face is turned slightly in Namjoon’s direction, a small smile resting on his lips. “It wasn’t my intention.”
Namjoon clears his throat, “It’s okay, I, uh, you were wearing headphones so I was, uh, surprised to hear you speak to me.”
“Your voice sounds familiar,” the boy frowns, head turning a little more at Namjoon’s way. “Do we know each other?”
Should he tell him who he is? Will he even believe it?
“I don’t think so,” He responds, licking his lips. “My name is Namjoon. Yours?”
“I’m Jungkook,” his smile grows and Namjoon feels deeply endeared by the bunny shape of it. “So, Namjoon-ssi, what’s going on in your life? Tell me about you.”
Namjoon is taken aback by the request. It’s the type of thing he would say, surely, but something he never expected to hear from someone else. He watches Jungkook’s calm expression and nods.
Oh, he’s so stupid.
“I, uh, I’m 24, so I’m definitely your hyung, I’m sure you’re not older than that,” He chuckles and Jungkook follows closely behind, shaking his head like saying ‘no, i’m not’. “I’m a songwriter, a rapper and a producer.”
“That’s impressive,” Jungkook comments, pouting. One more thing Namjoon finds endearing. “I love music. I love to sing.”
“You’re a great singer,” Namjoon says and blushes right after. “You were singing a few minutes ago, sorry for intruding, I couldn’t help but to hear it. You have a beautiful voice.”
This time, Jungkook completely turns his head in Namjoon’s direction. “Thank you, hyung.”
For a moment, Namjoon is confused whether he can see him or not. He knows most blind people aren’t totally blind, but he guesses it’s impolite to ask how much Jungkook can see, or if he can see anything at all. “The song you were singing…” He starts, but Jungkook is quick to interrupt.
“It’s by RM!” He states, excitedly. “It’s a rapper my friend Taehyung recommended to me. I love his playlist mono, it makes me feel at ease,” Jungkook licks his lips, headphones hanging around his neck. “His voice, the lyrics, the melody. Everything about it makes me feel at home, you know? I guess it’s what the artist intended. For people to relate to him, for people to feel like they are understood. They’re not alone.”
Namjoon smiles, feeling his throat close. It always warms his heart to hear people talk about his art like this - like they appreciate it.
Maybe he should let Jungkook know. It’s only fair.
“ Wake up in Tokyo, feel like a torso, I know it’s time to go,” He sings lowly, watching Jungkook’s jaw drop and his eyebrows disappear under the black sunglasses. “ I see Pinocchio wearing a poncho, that’s me sometime ago.”
Jungkook’s hand tights around the cane and he motions to speak a few times before actually saying something; “That’s why your voice sounds familiar, then. I hear it all the time.”
“Thank you for liking my music, Jungkook, it means a lot to me,” Namjoon touches his shoulder for a second and drops his arm back down. “What’s your favorite song?”
“Everythingoes,” he says in a heartbeat, making Namjoon chuckle. “I can’t believe I’m actually talking to you, this is insane. Taehyung will never believe me! He’ll ask if I saw it right and then go ‘oh, of course you didn’t, you’re blind’ and I’ll hit him and tell him to fuck off.”
“Ain’t that a little insensitive?” Namjoon gulps down.
Jungkook shrugs. “If I’m comfortable with myself and the person I’m talking to, it’s not. Jokes are only offensive if they are meant to hurt you or if they’re not, but you get hurt anyway.”
He guesses it’s one way to put it. Namjoon thinks for a second, before asking, “Do you have a phone? I can snap a picture of us or myself and you can show it to him.”
The younger man nods excitedly and puts out his phone. Namjoon watches in silence as Jungkook holds his thumb against the button to unlock the device and presses it firmly seconds later, activating siri to ask, “Siri, can you please open the camera?”
He hands the phone then, waiting with his arm in the air until Namjoon snaps out of his trance and grabs it.
“It can be one of both of us, just please make sure I look good,” he giggles and Namjoon wonders if he knows how beautiful he is. He hopes people tell him all the time. Jungkook removes his glasses and blinks a few times. His eyes are huge and round and beautiful. “Go.”
“Smile,” he says before smiling himself and snapping a few photos of them. Of course he’s not nearly as beautiful as Jungkook, but Namjoon thinks they look good together. “Done. Taehyung will believe you now,” Namjoon looks at the time before handing his phone back to Jungkook, secure in his hands. It’s late and he hasn’t eaten anything today. “I-”
Jungkook puts his phone back inside his pocket. “What?”
He really shouldn’t.
“Would you like to grab a bite?” Namjoon stops breathing after muttering the words, too mortified to do anything else. Jungkook blushes, but nods. “Great!”
Namjoon breathes out in relief while standing up and Jungkook looks directly at him. For the second time, Namjoon wonders if it was a joke and he’s not actually blind at all, but after a few seconds staring back at the boy it becomes obvious Jungkook has some visual disability; he can’t really see him, he’s simply looking at his direction and frame.
“You’re very tall,” Jungkook chuckles before standing up himself, glasses back on and white cane ready to go. Namjoon doesn’t say anything at all, waiting for him to start walking before moving too. Jungkook’s cane hits the floor with a tec tec tec that surprisingly doesn’t annoy Namjoon at all. “Can I theorize about something?”
“You’re dying to ask me how blind I am, after all, I just said you’re very tall, but you’re too polite to do it because we barely know each other and you don’t know if it’s offensive to pry.”
Namjoon stops in his tracks and Jungkook does the same, a wicked smile playing on his thin pinkish lips. They’re almost the same height, he notices.
“Well,” Namjoon starts, tilting his head. “How blind are you?”
Jungkook moves again and they walk for a few seconds before he responds:
“I’m legally blind, so actually the term blind isn’t exactly correct, it’s just easier to use on a daily basis” The boy clicks his tongue. “And like, being legally blinds means a bunch of different things for people, but for me, it means that I see everything blurry, or don’t see them at all, specially when far away. I can read stuff if I’m looking close enough, but it tires my eyes so I tend not to,” He shrugs. “I can see faces, too, if they are right in front of me. But most of the time I recognize people by their voices or the way they move, or even the way they smell.”
“That’s very interesting,” Namjoon responds, and he means it. He wonders what it is like to be able to recognize someone by the way they walk. Maybe he can tell when it’s Yoongi coming down the corridor, but then he can look to check. He never really thought about the power of it. “We can go to a Burger King that’s close by,” he suggests and Jungkook nods again. “Do you live alone?”
“No,” They stop at the crossroad. Namjoon thinks it’s fascinating how he didn’t even have to tell Jungkook they had to. “I live with Taehyung. Our friend Jiminie-hyung moved out a few weeks ago, but it used to be the three of us.”
“Why did he move out?” He sees the Burger King logo right in the end of the street. Good. After his anxiety went way, Namjoon realized just how hungry he is.
“He and his boyfriend fucked too loud,” Jungkook shrugs and laughs when Namjoon chokes on nothing. “I’m serious! It was deeply annoying. And trust me when I say I’m no Matt Murdock because of my lack of sight — that’s just plain stupid myth — but it was really loud,” Jungkook giggles and Namjoon looks at him, endeared once again. “His boyfriend’s rich, so he just rented an apartment for Jimin. He stays there often, too, but Jimin insists they’re not living together.”
“How does Jimin feel about that?” Namjoon stops in front of the fast food chain restaurant and opens the door, Jungkook goes through it first. “Living with a partner.”
“I think he likes it,” Jungkook smiles fondly and closes his cane, holding it with his left hand as the right grabs at an empty chair. “Can we sit here?” Namjoon’s not sure if he’s asking whether this is a nice spot or if there’s someone else at that table, but before he can respond Jungkook is sitting. “Are you always this slow?”
“I’m not slow, you’re just impatient,” Namjoons rolls his eyes and clicks his tongue, looking at the counter and the small line waiting to order. “Want me to order for you? It’s no big deal.”
Jungkook puts his cane on the edge of the table and holds his chin on his hands, a little pout on his lips. It’s so absurdly adorable Namjoon’s heart bursts.
“I don’t eat bacon,” Jungkook says. “But you can order me whatever you’re having, as long as it doesn’t have bacon, and I want orange juice. Here’s the money,” he reaches for his back pocket and takes out a wallet. Jungkook pulls out three bills and Namjoon notices how differently folded they are. The 5,000 bill is folded in half, and the 10,000 one is folded like a triangle. As for the 50,000 one, Jungkook folded it in the sides. “I think 10,000 will be enough, but take this one too.”
He hands it to Namjoon.
“I’ll pay for both of us,” Namjoon says but Jungkook shakes his head. “What? It’s no problem, really.”
“I know you’re rich, Mr. RM, but this is not a date,” Jungkook’s hand is still in the air. “Although if you want to go in one, just let me know.”
Namjoon’s cheeks go bright pink and he feels his heart pounding. Jungkook had said it with such ease that one might be surprised to see he actually blushes too.
“I’ll hold you to that,” Namjoon manages to respond and Jungkook smiles a little.
After he grabs Jungkook’s money, Namjoon heads to the counter to order. While he stays in line, he can’t help but to glance over at where Jungkook’s patiently waiting for him, headphones still around his neck.
If you want to go on a date, just let me know.
God, Namjoon really can’t leave this restaurant without that kid’s number.
“No bacon, but a lot of cheddar,” Namjoon says while placing Jungkook’s tray of food in front of him and going back to get his. He sees Jungkook taking off his sunglasses, grabbing the napkin and placing it under the sandwich before he reaches their table again.
“If I get cheddar on my face, you have to tell me, it’s not funny to do this to a blind person,” Jungkook raises his eyebrows jokingly. Namjoon notices his eyeballs keep moving and thinks that’s something Jungkook can’t control. “Oh, also, you can tell me if you feel uncomfortable with me making jokes about, you know, being visually impaired. I’ve met some people that were before, which is quite funny if you think about it. What are they uncomfortable about, honestly? The fact they can see and I can’t? People are weird.”
“If I were uncomfortable there’s no way in hell I’d tell you after this outburst of indignity,” Namjoon comments, biting his food. Jungkook laughs. “But I’m not. I know how it feels like to use humour as a scape to something that hurts us, or has changed us.”
Jungkook puts the straw on his mouth and sucks. Namjoon notices then the beautiful shade of brown his eyes are. “You do? Mind telling me about it?”
“I lost someone a few years ago,” Namjoon licks his lips, the image of his first love flashing through his mind. “Well, more than a few years ago. I used jokes to go through it, I knew people didn’t get it, some even openly judged me. But I think that the way we choose to deal with things that affect us isn’t anybody else’s business, especially if you’re not hurting anyone.”
Jungkook nods slowly while chewing his food. “I’m not surprised you’re intelligent, your lyrics give you away.”
“Intelligence is a wide concept,” Namjoon shrugs and then rolls his eyes. He wonders how it is to live without being able to read expressions or body language. “People are intelligent in different ways.”
“That in itself is a quote that screams intelligence,” Jungkook chuckles. He has a bit of cheddar in the corner of his mouth.
Namjoon could very well lean in and wipe it, it would be like a scene from a romantic comedy, the first time their skins would touch.
“Your mouth is dirty, in the right corner,” He tells him. Jungkook wipes it clean and mutters a quick ‘thank you, hyung’ that makes Namjoon smile to himself. “I am intelligent, yeah, but so are you.”
“Is that so?” Jungkook raises one eyebrow. “You barely know me.”
“I know you more than than you know me,” Jungkook sucks on the straw once again. “I heard your songs, they say a lot about you if they’re self written.”
“Can I have your number?” Namjoon blurs out and Jungkook chokes on his juice, coughing right after and muttering ‘i’m fine, i’m fine’ when Namjoon stands up to pat his back. “I didn’t ask you to marry me,” Namjoon chuckles.
“Well,” Jungkook’s tone is high-pitched. “I wasn’t expecting the request, that’s all. Yes, you can have my number,” After Namjoon has secured the digits muttered by Jungkook on his phone, the younger continues; “You can text me, although I prefer voice messages for obvious reasons. And honestly it wouldn’t be terrible to hear your voice instead of boring siri reading your words to me.”
“Noted.” Jungkook smiles, eyes fixing on Namjoon’s face. “How much of me can you see?”
“You’re blurry, like everything else,” Jungkook responds. “Since we’re close you’re less blurry than most of the things here, but no, I can’t make our your face completely. Maybe if we were like, really really close.”
“Like about to kiss close?” Namjoon hates himself the second the words leave his mouth. “I mean, uh, I wasn’t, I, uh, okay, I’ll shut up now.”
Jungkook laughs out loud, hand covering his mouth. It’s so adorable Namjoon can’t help but to laugh along with him.
“Yeah, something like that, actually,” Jungkook says while taking his phone out again. He puts it right in front of his nose and sighs. “It’s so late, I have to go.”
“I can walk you home.”
“I can walk myself home, hyung,” Jungkook smiles fondly. “I’m not a kid.”
“Oh, I know you’re not a kid,” Namjoon puts the rest of the sandwich in his mouth and chews while Jungkook licks his lips.
“Does that sentence contain an innuendo? If so, would you like to clarify it to me?”
“No it doesn’t or no you wouldn’t?”
“I will voice message you, Jungkook-ah,” he says, standing up. “Would you at least let me walk you back to the park?”
“I live closer to here,” Jungkook says, standing up as well and putting his glasses back on. “Do I look good?”
More than good. Close to perfect.
“Yes, you look good,” Namjoon hands him the white cane. “I’ll send you a voice message when I get home so you can tell me what was Taehyung’s reaction.”
Namjoon watches Jungkook walk out of the restaurant and place his cane on the floor, a wild smile on his face as he makes his way home.
After Jungkook is out of sight, Namjoon cleans their table and walks out too, the anxiety he had felt two hours before completely thrown to the back of his mind – at least for now, his thoughts are coloured with a bunny smile and the prospect of something good.
“Why are you smiling?” Yoongi asks with a side glance when Namjoon steps out of his room.
The sun has set a long time ago and Namjoon hadn’t even realized his roommate returned.
“Look who’s back,” he says, going to the kitchen with his phone in hand. He has been chatting with Jungkook all day. Well, not chatting. More of sending long voice messages to each other non-stop since they arrived home . “How’s Jimin?”
“Happy and satisfied.”
“And you are happy ,” Yoongi stands up, walking towards him. “What happened? Did you fuck?”
“No,” Namjoon crunches his nose and opens the fridge to grab a can of soda. Maybe he should order chinese, it’s been a while since he last ate it. “Want chinese?”
“Sure,” Yoongi shrugs and takes a sit on the counter with his phone ready to order. “Can I ask for extra large chicken?” Namjoon nods and unlocks his phone when a beep announces Jungkook has responded to his 5 minutes long voice message about sea animals. “Did you finally download Grindr like I told you to?”
Namjoon looks at him, “Why are you like this?” He presses the record button. “Jungkook-ah, give me a few minutes so I can deal with my annoying roommate, will listen and respond soon.”
Yoongi raises one eyebrow. “Since when do you communicate through voice messages?”
“Since I met a visually impaired person.”
“Oh,” Yoongi nods in understanding. “Jimin talks to his college friend Jungkook through voice messages, too, he is legally bl–,” he stops.
Namjoon stares at him. Oh my God. Oh. My. Fucking. God. Yoongi stares back, his jaw dropping slowly. It clicks in both of their minds at the same time.
“No fucking way,” Yoongi breathes out while Namjoon unlocks his phone again and shoves it on his best friend’s face with Jungkook’s profile picture open. “Yeah, that’s Jiminie’s friend. Oh God, are you fucking Jimin’s college friend?!”
“No, hyung!” Namjoon whines. “We only met today. He joked about me taking him out on a date, though.”
“Oh God, are you gonna fuck Jimin’s college friend?!” Yoongi says it again, but more dramatically this time. Namjoon shoves him on the shoulder. “This is so weird, Seoul ain’t that small.”
Namjoon feels like he’s having an out of the body experience.
Yoongi has been dating Jimin for seven months now, and because of Namjoon’s constant travelling, he has only met the guy a handful of times. They didn’t talk deeply in any of those times, so it makes sense if he wasn’t aware of who Jimin’s friends are, but it is a little weird for Jungkook not to know his close friend is dating…
“Do they know you produce for me?”
“Do they know we live together ?”
“Am I obligated to tell everyone about my living situation?” Yoongi finishes the order and places his phone on the counter.
“I’ve met Jimin, how hasn’t he mentioned that to his friends?”
Yoongi looks at him. “He probably has, but Jimin doesn’t know you’re RM. He’s not into rap or idols, so he doesn’t recognize them for their faces,” he wrinkles his nose. “Even though I hate the fact he doesn’t like rap, at least it means I can be normal around him.”
Namjoon’s phone buzzes again with a new voice message from Jungkook. “I’ll be back when the food arrives. You should tell Jimin who I am now that I’m friends with his best friend.”
“How on earth did this happen?” Yoongi turns around in the chair when Namjoon starts to walk away with his soda can. “It’s such an once in a lifetime type of coincidence.”
“Yeah,” Namjoon chuckles. “Talk to him, hyung!”
“I will, sweet summer child, I will.”
“What did we agree about Game of Thrones references?” Namjoon turns on his heels to look at him.
Yoongi rolls his eyes. “The show doesn’t deserve to be mentioned or referenced to since season seven happened. Depending on how season eight goes, the jokes will be reconsidered.”
Namjoon looks for Jungkook on social media.
And he doesn’t think that’s creepy, everyone wants to know more about people they meet and in this day and age, social media helps a lot with that.
With the last name he got the day before when Jungkook had sent him a pic of his birth certificate to prove he is indeed 23, it is easy to find Jeon Jungkook on Instagram and Twitter, but sadly not much about the boy is displayed on said apps.
Jungkook rarely posts on Twitter (the last post dating from a month before) and most of his Instagram pics look like they are from years ago.
Namjoon notices his eyes are different in those photos; more focused and round.
He’s in the middle of searching for a Facebook profile when his phone buzzes with a voice message from the boy.
20:03 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: I want to order pizza but Taehyungie-hyung wants to eat sushi, can you please tell him he’s not japanese? I think he will listen to you.
20:04 You sent a voice message: And you’re not italian. Food travels.
20:05 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Whose side are you on here, Mister RM? I will end you!
20:05 You sent a voice message: And how on earth do you intend to end me, Jeon Jungkook?
20:06 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Word on the street that I have three of the six infinity stones, and with a snap of my fingers I can make you disappear.
Namjoon laughs out loud, setting his laptop aside and getting more comfortable on the bed.
20:08 You sent a voice message: That’s not how it works, Thanos.
20:09 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: It’s my story and I make the rules, RM-ssi.
20:10 You sent a voice message: Can you please for the love of god respect me as your hyung and start calling me that?!
20:11 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Of course Rap Monster-hyung.
Namjoon whines, covering his face while taking a deep breath. Such a brat.
20:13 You sent a voice message: Fuck you, don’t call me that! I told you how much that makes me cringe.
20:16 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Fuck me, is that what I heard? I do enjoy it by myself, but not as much! So next time suggest something better. Now can you please send me a voice message telling that bitch Taehyung to order pizza?!
Namjoon licks his lips and listens to the voice message again. Did he–
No. Best not to think about it.
20:20 You sent a voice messages Taehyung-ssi, please order pizza for Jungkook before he kills half of the population with his stupid stones.
Jungkook sends a number of different emojis then and Namjoon wonders what in hell he told Siri to make that happen.
Or maybe he just smashed his fingers on the keyboard.
Namjoon chuckles to himself; that’s probably what the boy did.
“The light hurts, right?” Namjoon asks, shyly.
Jungkook hums, head turns to the opposite direction. He’s wearing sunglasses again, even if it’s not sunny at all. “Yeah.”
Namjoon had asked him to have lunch – sushi, to celebrate the fact he didn’t kill half of the world’s population with his infinity stones. Or that’s the lame excuse Namjoon gave him over the phone.
Jungkook had laughed out loud, though, accepting right away.
So now they’re standing side by side, waiting for the car that’ll take them to the mall. Namjoon stupidly suggested they watched a movie after eating, immediately hating himself, but then Jungkook said he was dying to see Captain Marvel.
Namjoon didn’t ask how movie experiences work for him, but he thinks he could have – Jungkook wouldn’t find that offensive or insensitive.
“It’s here,” he tells him once he has spotted Mr. Choi pulling over.
“I can’t believe you have a driver,” Jungkook mutters.
“It’s necessary,” Namjoon opens the back door so he can get inside. “I’m harassed in public transportation.”
Jungkook snorts as he sits on the backseat, Namjoon next to him. He greets Mr. Choi and tells him the directions.
“It’s true,” he turns to Jungkook. “Well, not always , but it’s nice to avoid…”
“Rich celebrity complex,” the boy clicks his tongue and Namjoon hits him playfully on the shoulder, making the both of them laugh.
Once they arrive, Namjoon puts his sunglasses and beanie on, and almost prays he’s not recognised. This isn’t a very busy mall, it’s why he loves it so much, but there are always possibilities. With Jungkook by his side, he rathers not be rapper RM for a while.
“So, I think it’s safe to say you’re a Marvel fanboy,” he tells Jungkook when they start walking towards the cinema, the boy’s arm wrapped around Namjoon’s so he can guide him.
“Well, yeah, I am… A little,” Jungkook giggles. “I used to be more… Before, but I still enjoy the movies, even if I can’t have like, the full experience.”
Namjoon keeps wondering how that feels like, but it’s quite impossible.
“We’re here,” he says once they’ve stopped in front of the machine. “There’s one in ten minutes.”
“Dubbed?” Jungkook asks, looking at the prompter with narrowed eyes. “Ah, letters are too small for me in movie theaters. It has to be dubbed, I’m not fluent in english.”
Shit. Namjoon had completely forgotten about that.
He stares at the screen, a subtitled Captain Marvel session starting in ten minutes. He feels so insensitive and stupid, blush colouring his cheeks, heart beating fast against his chest.
“Hyung?” Jungkook turns his head in Namjoon’s direction. “It’s okay if it slipped off your mind I can’t watch things with subtitles, don’t worry about it. I know you don’t go out with blind people all the time.”
“I’m sorry,” Namjoon whispers anyway, biting his lower lip.
Jungkook shakes his head, chuckling. “It’s fine, hyung. Now tell me when is the dubbed session.”
“There’s one in half an hour.”
“I know you probably like it better with subtitles, it’s okay if you don’t wanna watch it-”
Namjoon has never denied anything faster. “Don’t be silly, I want to watch this with you, doesn’t matter how.”
He takes out his wallet and credit card, selecting two tickets. With his peripheral vision, Namjoon sees Jungkook taking a card of his own from his wallet. He puts the object really close to his eyes and then smiles softly.
“Have you bought yours?”
Jungkook arches his eyebrows, smiling. “Did you buy mine? I told you before I can pay my own stuff. I didn’t let you pay alone at the restaurant either, don’t you remember?”
Namjoon blushes again. Unless it’s a date. Is this a date? It looks like one. Maybe he should ask.
“I didn’t buy it yet,” he says instead, selecting the one ticket option instead. While he puts his password in, Namjoon curses himself for being the stupid coward that he is. “Let me help you.”
Jungkook accepts, giving Namjoon his card and waiting until he has to put on the password. Namjoon watches as he gets his face super close to the machine and away to click the numbers, one by one.
“Sometimes I make mistakes, but not very often,” Jungkook sighs once his payment is accepted. “So, now what? We have some time to kill.”
Namjoon shrugs as Jungkook grabs his arm again, a proximity he very much enjoys. “We could sit and talk.”
“Oh, what a wonderful idea, something we almost never do,” the other man grins.
We could kiss until we’re out of breath.
“We could sit in silence.”
Jungkook laughs. “Nah, I love your voice, hyung.”
Namjoon blushes again. It is incredibly scary to feel this strongly about someone he barely knows.
“I love your voice too,” he replies.
“So, talking it is,” Jungkook smiles.
“Talking it is,” he agrees.
“ So, you’re calling me to ask for love advices ,” Seokjin says slowly.
“When you put it like that you make it sound like I’m insane.”
Seokjin chuckles. “ I would never call myself to ask for love advices, or any type of advice, to be honest. I’m like Hoseok, man, a trainwreck .”
Namjoon takes a sip of his juice, “You’re being too hard on yourself and poor Hoseok, you’re both just a little… Well, you’re free, hyung. I wish I could be more like you.”
His friend sighs. “ You think if you were more like me you could just ask this boy out without sweating like a pig .”
“Kind of,” Namjoon blushes.
“ Listen, and this is the only advice I’m ever giving you, cause roles are reversed here, you’re the smart one, come on ,” Seokjin giggles and Namjoon doesn’t contradict him. Not because he thinks it’s true, but because he knows Jin’s joking; he knows he’s smart too. “ So… He obviously has a crush on you, like, he’s a fan . He flirts, he blushes. Man, just stop being such a fucking pussy .”
Namjoon snorts, rolling his eyes.
“That’s your advice?”
“ Yeah, pretty much ,” Jin clicks his tongue. “ You can’t ask much of me, I’m in the middle of shooting .”
“For a romantic drama, may I add,” Namjoon licks his lips, the anxiety in his heart making him want to puke.
“ I’m an actor ,” Seokjin says. “ It’s my job to pretend I know what love is .”
At that Namjoon laughs. It’s weird how he can feel joy and yet still be so nervous.
“ It’s okay to be scared ,” his friend tells him. “ It is not okay to be ruled by it .”
Namjoon takes a deep breath and chuckles. “Now that is good advice.”
The man on the other end of the line laughs out loud, and starts to congratulate himself, which only leads to Namjoon dubbing forward to giggle along.
“ See ,” Seokjin says. “ I don’t even have to try .”
It is easy to fall into a routine, Namjoon realizes only a few weeks after he and Jungkook met.
He works during most of the day, the album taking its form surprisingly fast, but at night, he knows he will talk to Jungkook. Well, that is at least until his radio program starts.
It was one of the most amusing moments of Namjoon’s life to learn his new friend was a radio show host in the graveyard hours. The program is called “Just Like Owls”, where Jungkook basically plays songs with powerful lyrics and talks about them and their possible meaning in between tunes.
He told Namjoon he has played probably his entire discography already, which made Namjoon blush and a warm fuzzy feeling fill his belly.
“ I think I’ll play Seoul again now that you’ve explained the meaning to me,” Jungkook says on the phone. “ Do you miss Ilsan?”
“Sometimes, but I think my relationship with Seoul runs deeper at this point.” Namjoon licks his lips, a hand under his head while he lays lump on his made-up bed. “What time do you get out of work tonight?”
“ Same time as always, 4am,” Jungkook clicks his tongue and waits a few seconds. “ Why?”
“Wanna hang out?”
“ At 4 in the morning? ” Jungkook’s incredulous tone makes Namjoon smile.
“Do you have anything better to do?”
“ Uh, sleep? Are you familiar with the concept? ” Jungkook chuckles.
“It’s rainy and cold, and I wanna have a hot chocolate with my friend. But if you’re too tired…”
“I’m not too tired, don’t insult me.”
“Since when being tired is an insult, Jeon Jungkook?”
“Since you’re using it to trick me into going out with you in the middle of the night ,” he mutters, the amusement in his voice clear.
“Is it working?”
“ If you’re not here by 4:02am I’ll call an Uber. ”
Namjoon grins to himself as he turns the call off, staring at the black screen of his phone for a few seconds before standing up and heading to the living room, where Jimin was curling up on Yoongi’s side.
“Have you guys eaten yet?” He asks.
Yoongi only grunts, but Jimin gives him a proper response. “We haven’t, you wanna order something?”
“Sure, I have 5 hours to kill before I can go pick Jungkook-ah up,” Namjoon unlocks his phone. He’s sort of craving pizza right now.
“You two are getting pretty close,” Jimin looks at him from the couch, his blonde hair falling over his eyes. “Speaking of, Taehyung wanted to know if you don’t have any producers or idols to introduce him, he’s feeling pretty lonely, wants to date, too.”
Namjoon chuckles and rolls his eyes when the memory of his first meeting with Taehyung comes to mind. The boy had choked on his own saliva and tried to pretend he didn’t want to hug him. It was very adorable, he has to admit.
“Jungkook and I aren’t dating,” he says, but the words feel sore on his tongue. “I can introduce him to Jung Hoseok.”
Jimin gets out of Yoongi’s embrace and the later whines at the loss, being completely ignored by his boyfriend, who’s standing up to get closer to Namjoon in the kitchen counter.
“Who’s Jung Hoseok?” He asks.
“Park Jimin, when will you get an interest in the life that I have ?” Yoongi mumbles “I’m starting to think you deserved the slap Taehyung gave you when you said you didn’t know my Namjoon was RM.”
Jimin looks at him. “I don’t like…”
“Don’t say it!” Yoongi exclaims.
“... Rrap,” Jimin finishes. “And don’t you dare say you’re gonna break up with me again because of it. You’re worse, you don’t like Beyoncé , and I can use this against you in the court of law.”
Yoongi narrows his eyes and stares back to his phone. Jimin turns to Namjoon again, a smile on his thick lips.
“You two banter too much, it’s kinda adorable,” Namjoon comments, earning a ‘fuck off’ from Yoongi and an ‘i know’ from Jimin. “Jung Hoseok is a notorious dancer and producer in the idol scene. He also raps . Yoongi, him and I have a few tracks together, but all unreleased.”
Jimin arches his eyebrows. “So you’re telling me you have audios of Yoongi-hyung rapping ?” Yoongi is up in three seconds. “Do you think those would change my mind about rap?”
“Oh, most certainly, Jimin-ah,” Namjoon starts, a smirk on his lips as Yoongi got closer. “Specially because of the flexible movements of his tongue that will take you to Hong Kong, no matter if you’re a man or a woman .”
“I’ll take your life and feed your flesh to Taehyung’s dog,” Yoongi groans between his teeth, making both Namjoon and Jimin laugh out loud. “I’m serious, bitch, you better run. ”
Jimin claps his hands enthusiastically and jumps to get to Yoongi, kissing him fully on the mouth before throwing his arms around the man’s shoulders.
“I wanna hear you rapping about giving me orgasms, hyung!” He says. “Why didn’t you tell me you rapped?”
“Cause you said you don’t like rap,” Yoongi pouts.
“I like everything related to you,” Jimin smiles. “Except the fact you follow Kanye West on Twitter.”
Yoongi’s pout grows and Namjoon chuckles. “I unfollowed him last month, Jimin-ah, will you quit?”
“Show me your rap,” Jimin asks.
“Okay,” Yoongi holds his hand and looks at Namjoon. “We’ll be back, order food.”
“No, you won’t,” Namjoon responds, making Jimin’s cheeks go bright pink while Yoongi pulls him towards his room.
“Oh, wait!” Jimin says, cheeks still hot. “Text me about this Jung Hoseok dude!”
“Will do,” Namjoon smiles as they disappear into the corridor.
After ordering pizza, he sits on the couch and turns on TV, going through his calendar to find Hoseok’s number and ask him if he’s insane enough to want to go out with Taehyung.
“I may have given Jimin the number of a celebrity so he can get Taehyung a boyfriend,” Namjoon says as soon as he’s close enough to Jungkook, who’s sitting in the lobby of the radio station. He looks up as soon as he hears Namjoon’s voice, big brown eyes searching for something they can’t quite find.
“Wait, who’s getting Taehyung a boyfriend, Jimin or the celebrity?”
“The celebrity is the boyfriend,” Namjoon clarifies as Jungkook stands up, opening his cane.
“I can’t believe you introduced Taehyung to someone from the industry,” Jungkook giggles. “He’s gonna cum in the spot.”
Namjoon smiles and they go out into the night. “I brought my car so we don’t have to walk since it’s so late, I hope that’s ok.”
Jungkook nods. After they’re inside the chilling vehicle, Namjoon looks over at his friend to really see him. Jungkook is wearing an oversized black sweater with also black sweatpants, an airplane necklace hanging until the middle of his chest. He is so beautiful. Namjoon could stare at him all day long.
“Why haven’t you started the car?” Jungkook wonders, head slightly turned in Namjoon’s direction.
“Sorry,” He clears his throat and takes a deep breath. “I don’t like to drive,” he admits. “I only do it when it’s extremely necessary.”
“Is this an extremely necessary situation?” Jungkook smirks, hands over his thighs.
Namjoon pulls the car out into the street slowly, like the 50 year-old that he is, while Jungkook hums softly to himself.
“Yes, I feel like it’s going to rain soon.”
“I like the rain,” Jungkook mutters melancholically. “If it’s raining no one can see you crying, right?”
The soft buzzing of the running car does nothing to still Namjoon’s heartbeat when he looks to his side briefly and encounters Jungkook’s sad smile.
“I don’t want to see you crying, ever,” Namjoon admits lowly. “You’re too pretty to cry.”
“You think I’m pretty?” Jungkook’s tone in so neutral Namjoon has a hard time figuring out how he feels about it. “I don’t remember much of my face. I can see it if I zoom in in photos, but it’s not really the same, is it? Photos never do faces justice.”
“No photo could ever do your face justice, that is correct,” Namjoon feels his cheeks burn. He and Jungkook hadn’t spoken like this, in this subtle flirting tone, since the afternoon in which they met. “Although you’d still look this perfect even crying, I’d rather not see you sad. It’d break my heart.”
Jungkook shifts a little on his seat.
“You’re such a poet,” he comments. “You talk like you’re inside a book and the world is about to end.”
Namjoon smiles, turning right in the empty street leading to his favorite coffee shop.
“What would you say qualifies as a world ending situation?” He asks. “Like, do we need a horrible creature invading the planet and killing half of the population or madmen being elected to run the most powerful nations around the world is enough?”
“I see what you did there,” Jungkook clicks his tongue, running his hand through his hair. “Do you think we failed? As a humanity. Like, we see all this shit happening in the world, murders, rapes, oceans full of garbage, extinct animal species, people thinking they can decide on who others should love, marry, be ,” Jungkook takes a deep sight. “It’s so frustrating.”
“It’s a complex question,” Namjoon answers. “I think I’m a pretty fatalist person, and at the same time, I can sound very hopeful. It goes the same way, doesn’t it?” He looks over at the other for a second. “Yes, we failed as a humanity. But we also didn’t. We are much more than right or wrong, nothing is ever that gray. We scream different colours, all of us, no matter how much the world tries to make us colorblind,” Namjoon gulps down. “Sorry.”
“Don’t say sorry,” Jungkook’s tone is low. “You were making a point, it’s a metaphor, no reason to say you’re sorry.”
“Also, you just proved my whole point about you talking like the world is about to end,” Jungkook chuckles. “It’s adorable,” he seems to consider something for a moment and then, “and hot.”
Namjoon bites his lower lip, a question that he has been wondering for weeks finally popping out.
“How does sexual attraction work for you?” Namjoon frowns. “If you feel any.”
“I’m not ace,” Jungkook says. “And it works the same way it does for you. Okay, maybe not totally. I can’t have that first primal instinct of looking at someone and wanting to undress them because they are just so fucking hot, have you seen that body? ” He high pitches his voice and Namjoon chuckles. “I do remember what it was like to feel attracted to someone because of how they look, but I’ve gotten used to being attracted to voices, smells. Our society tells us what type of body and faces we should find attractive, but if we’re looking for more than a casual hook up, appearance is not what’s gonna make you want someone, in the end.”
Namjoon doesn’t respond, taking in his words.
“You probably knows what’s like to find intellects attractive,” Jungkook continues. “Or wanting someone because they move you.”
“I do understand,” He stops at a red light even though he shouldn’t at this late hour. Maybe Namjoon needs to breathe. “Does anyone move you?”
“Do you even need an answer at this point?
“I kinda do.”
“Yes,” Jungkook says simply, voice barely above a whisper.
Namjoon wants to ask, wants to hear him say you . But he doesn’t, because he’s not sure that’s what Jungkook would say. Coward.
“We’re here,” he announces, starting to park. “This coffee shop is the place where I always end up when my mind is trying to drive me insane and it’s too late to go to the park.”
Jungkook opens the door and gets out before responding.
“Is your mind driving you insane now?”
“No, Jungkook-ah,” he says, closing his own door after getting out and locking the car. “I just wanted to spend some time with you.”
“Fair enough,” Jungkook seems a little breathless, Namjoon doesn’t fail to notice. His cheeks are coloured in a soft shade of pink, and he keeps chewing on his bottom lip as they move inside.
Namjoon choses a booth by the window and soon enough one of the waitresses, Haemi, comes by to accept their order. She’s wearing a coat on top of her uniform and a bright smile on her face.
“Hello, Namjoon-ssi, it’s been a while,” she greets. “What will you two have tonight?”
“Hi, Haemi, yeah, life has been good,” Namjoon smiles back at her while Jungkook closes his cane and puts it on his lap. “I’ll have a hot chocolate, what about you, Kook-ah?”
“Do you have petit gâteau?” He asks and Haemi mutters a ‘yes, sir’. “Okay, I’ll have one of those, thank you. And a bottle of water.”
After Haemi leaves, Namjoon puts his elbows on the table and rests his face on his hands, staring at Jungkook.
“I listened to your show tonight.”
“Did you?” Jungkook hums. “I hoped you would.”
“That is obvious,” Namjoon chuckles at the memory of his face going bright red when he heard Jungkook’s voice talking about the track Seoul and how much it means to him. How much inspiration he gets from rapper RM. “Thank you.”
Jungkook smiles, “You’re welcome.”
Since there’s only two other people in the shop at this hour, it doesn’t take long for their orders to arrive. Haemi places Jungkook’s petit gâteau in front of him with a spoon and then his glass of water and Namjoon’s hot chocolate, “Anything else?”
“Not right now, thank you, Haemi.”
Jungkook feels the table surface looking for the spoon and touches the plate with his fingers. This close, he can probably see the objects more clearly, but Namjoon thinks he can never see anything clearly enough.
“You call the waitress by her name, and she knows yours,” Jungkook comments before taking a bite. “The way she purrs your name is adorable. I think she might have a crush.”
Namjoon watches his face carefully. Jungkook’s pinkish cheeks are all puffy as he chews his food, and something about the way he looks casual makes Namjoon think there’s nothing casual about his comment at all.
“That’s nice of her,” he responds, taking a sip of his drink. “But she’s not the one who moves me.”
Jungkook takes a sip of his water.
“That’s okay,” he mutters. “She’ll meet someone amazing one day. Well, hardly as amazing as you, but we all can dream.”
Namjoon chuckles. They’re really tiptoeing around this. Seokjin was right.
“I finished the song I told you about last week,” he starts. “It was really hard, I felt like something was missing. But it’s perfect now.”
“That’s great, hyung!” Jungkook says after he’s done chewing. “When can I hear the masterpiece?”
“Actually…” He licks his lips, tasting the chocolate on his tongue. “I was hoping you’d record it for me.”
Jungkook chokes. “I, uh, what?”
“You have a beautiful voice, Kookie,” Namjoon says, touching his hand. Jungkook jerks at the touch, but doesn’t back away. “It’d be an honor to me to have you as the singer on this.”
“I’m not really a singer,” Jungkook’s tone is unsure.
“But you can be,” Namjoon’s hand holds Jungkook’s a little tighter. “Please? Let’s give it a try.”
Jungkook wets his lips, worrying at the bottom one for a few seconds. Namjoon can almost see his brain working to make a decision.
“Okay,” he whispers. “Just a try.”
“Thank you,” Namjoon smiles widely.
They finish in silence, and a handful of minutes later Haemi is there again.
“That will be all for today, Haemi, I’ll pay it on credit card,” Namjoon tells her. He doesn’t notice Jungkook’s expression until she has left again. “What?”
“You don’t have to pay for me, hyung.”
Right then and there, looking at Jungkook’s indignated face, Namjoon makes a decision.
Enough tiptoeing. He’s done being scared.
“You told me I could if it was a date,” He he defends himself and Jungkook’s mouth goes slack. “Can this be a date, Jungkook-ah?” Jungkook kicks him under the table. “Ah! What was that for?!”
“You didn’t even ask beforehand!” He exclaims. “You’re such an ass.”
Namjoon laughs as Haemi comes back with the credit machine. Jungkook stands up and bows slightly to the waitress, thanking her for serving them and waits for Namjoon with his cane already up and on the floor.
“It’s raining,” Namjoon tells him, staring at the fast drops of rain falling outside. “Do you want to wait or we run to the car?”
Jungkook huffs, “ That you ask.”
“Don’t be a brat,” Namjoon bumps his shoulder onto Jungkook’s. “If we’re honest, even our first time going out was a date, we just didn’t want to admit it.”
He doesn’t know from where this sudden boost of confidence came from, but he doesn’t need to.
“Do we admit it now?” Namjoon wonders.
Silence. And then–
“Do you have your phone on you?” Jungkook asks and Namjoon frowns.
Way to change the subject.
“No, left it in the car. Why?”
“Funny, so did I,” Jungkook smiles and opens the door. “Let’s go.”
Namjoon’s not totally sure what he means until he watches, jaw dropped, Jungkook dive into the rain closing his cane and stopping in the middle of the parking lot. The boy looks up and stretches his arms.
“What the hell are you doing?” Namjoon screams, almost running out the door and standing on the edge of the covered sidewalk. “Jungkook, you’re going to catch a cold!”
Jungkook giggles. No. He laughs. Wholeheartedly, loudly, freely. Namjoon pauses, mind going completely blank of anything else, of anyone else, and lets out a breath he didn’t even realize he was holding.
“Hyung!” Jungkook calls. “Come dance in the rain with me!”
Namjoon giggles, “Do you think we’re in a movie?”
“If you can talk like we’re inside a romance novel, I can pretend this is a movie just for a second,” Jungkook’s words come out rushed, loud, like he’s trying really hard to breathe. “Come before I drown!”
Namjoon steps forward, the pouring rain immediately soaking his clothes. He wishes he could understand the forces that make him go, but they are stronger than his greatest fears.
“Or maybe I have already drowned,” Jungkook says, shrugging. “Because… you .”
He moves a step closer, dares to touch Jungkook’s wet cheek with the tip of his fingers, watches in awe the way the boy leans in to it.
“What about me?”
“I like you,” Jungkook says, softly, like it’s a secret he’s afraid the world will hear. His eyes are closed, have been for a long time, and Namjoon wants to close his too, but he can’t stop looking because, fuck, isn’t this boy the most beautiful person he has ever laid eyes on. “More than just a friend.”
Namjoon knew it, of course he did, but hearing those words… Oh, it’s so damn powerful. His heart beats uncontrollably, and shit, are these butterflies in his stomach?
“Jungkook-ah,” he says slowly, flavoring that name on his tongue like it’s the best word that ever was. “Maybe we both are drowning.”
Jungkook smiles, hands reaching Namjoon’s face, one in each cheek.
“Was that a movie worthy line?” Namjoon asks.
The boys nods vigorously.
“I can’t believe we’re really about to kiss in the r–”, Jungkook starts, but is cut off by the soft press of Namjoon’s lips on his own.
It starts slow, tentative, almost like they are not sure it is reality. But then Jungkook tilts his head to the side and parts his lips ever so slightly, and Namjoon feels like he’s spinning. He leans in, touching Jungkook’s bottom lip with his tongue, deepening the kiss with a delicacy he’s not used to himself. It is impossible to breathe, the rain still falling hard on them, but neither of the boys seem to care when they bring each other closer, chest against chest, almost like magnets.
Jungkook’s fingers travel through Namjoon’s face, his nape, his shoulders. The slow kiss grows more heated, Namjoon shivering when Jungkook’s tongue swirls around his, his big hands immediately going down to the small of his waist, pressing his hips firmly against Jungkook’s.
“ Hyung ,” Jungkook breathes out against his lips, voice soaky because of the water. Namjoon kisses him again, Jungkook’s soft surprised moan making his head dizzy.
Namjoon thinks he could kiss that boy forever.
“We’re gonna get sick,” he mutters when they part again to breathe, lips brushing on Jungkook’s. The boy’s hands are caressing his soaked hair, and Namjoon can feel his fast heartbeat against his own.
“I wanna dance,” Jungkook almost whines, making Namjoon laugh lowly. “I asked you to dance in the rain.”
Namjoon peks his lips, eyes still firmly closed.
“Aren’t we doing something better, though?”
Jungkook hums softly and Namjoon is only half surprised when he feels the boy initiating the kiss, tongue licking inside his mouth, body completely pressed against Namjoon’s.
They kiss for a while and it’s all vanilla, chocolate and water. Namjoon loves it.
“Yeah, this is good, really good,” Jungkook says when they break apart again. “But I wanna dance. Dance with me, hyung.”
“I don’t know how.”
“You don’t have to,” He can feel Jungkook’s smile against his lips and when the boy moves away from him Namjoon finally opens his eyes.
Jungkook’s are still closed and he’s completely wet, but the bunny smile on his face says he doesn’t give a fuck. He’s standing a meter or so away now, hands moving through his body as he shakes his hips to no music.
It’s entacing, Namjoon realizes. To watch that gorgeous boy, wet from head to toe, eyes closed, lips pink and swollen, dance to the sound of the rain.
“Hyung, I can’t see you, but I know you’re not dancing!” He complains and Namjoon laughs again. God, he’s laughing so much tonight. “What a man has to do around here to get a famous rapper to dance with him?”
Namjoon surges forward and puts his hand on Jungkook’s waist again, pulling him close. Jungkook gasps, blush spreading through his face. It’s cute.
“This is not a tango, sir,” Jungkook frowns, tone firm.
“But how can you know I’m dancing if I don’t touch you?” After he finishes his sentence, Namjoon’s anxiety rises up.
What if this is offensive? What if him acknowledging Jungkook’s disability is stupid and mean and uncalled for–
“Sassy, are we?” Jungkook smiles, touching his cheek for a moment. His eyes are open now, gaze cast placed near Namjoon’s ear. “Let’s slow dance.”
When he puts his arms around Namjoon’s shoulder and presses their foreheads together, Namjoon can almost hear music. Because the rain is shy now, drops here and there falling around them like little spectors to the scene. And everything is buzzing inside Namjoon’s mind and he thinks that somewhere very close to where they stand someone’s playing Can’t Take My Eyes Off You . Or maybe it’s just how he feels.
Jungkook breathes out, “You’re a good dancer, hyung.”
“Mediocre at best,” Namjoon huffs. “Specially in the rain.”
“The rain makes everything clearer,” Jungkook presses them closer, his cheek brushing on Namjoon’s now. “Easier. It soothes me, like it soothes you. I like the idea of rain making unable for others to see you cry, I do. But I like it a little more when the idea of rain makes you free.”
“Like right now?”
“Yeah, like right now.”
Jungkook tilts his head and Namjoon meets him halfway. They kiss slow, like there’s nothing to worry about and they have all the time in the world.
The rain is also slow, and Namjoon has never in his life wanted to freeze a moment as much as he wants to freeze the way Jungkook kisses him in the middle of the parking lot while rain falls on their shoulders, arms held tied around him, like he’s determined to never, ever let go.
Jungkook’s sleeping softly in the passenger seat while Namjoon drives slowly through the empty streets of Seoul’s early morning after a raining night.
He can’t breathe through his nose and is pretty sure both he and Jungkook won’t be able to leave their beds tomorrow.
But does it matter?
He is feeling bubbly, like a teenager who has finally understood what the love songs on the radio are about. His heart skips a beat every time he looks at Jungkook’s frame by his side, hair shaking with the wind, mouth slack, expression peaceful.
The taste of Jungkook’s lips on his, his laugh, his hands running through Namjoon’s body… He doesn’t think he can forget it anytime soon, nor does he want to.
When Namjoon pulls over at Jungkook’s apartment, it’s almost a pit to wake him.
“Baby,” he says and let’s the word fill the space. He’s not sure Jungkook will like being called that, but hopes he does. “We’re here, wake up, baby.”
Jungkook grunts and presses his eyes together, opening them a moment later blinking a few times.
“Did you just call me baby?”
“Is that a problem?” Namjoon asks, unsure.
“No,” Jungkook smiles, sleepy. “In fact, I’m no longer Jungkook to you, you’re only allowed to address me as baby. ”
Namjoon chuckles, taking his belt off and opening the door, “I’ll help you out.”
Normally Jungkook would complain, but this time he lets Namjoon assist him. He takes the cane out of the passenger sit (it had taken them a while to find it after Jungkook had thrown it on the ground when Namjoon kissed him and it rolled off to the side of the parking lot) and holds Jungkook’s wrist as he gets out of the car.
Once they’re inside the elevator, Jungkook reaches for Namjoon, pecking his lips three times before nuzzling into his neck.
Their clothes are still humid because of the rain, and Namjoon is only going up to make sure Jungkook removes the wet clothes before jumping into his bed; something about the way Jungkook fell fast asleep in the car told him he couldn’t be trusted with such a simple task tonight.
He hands Namjoon the key-card to the apartment and once they are inside, Jungkook almost runs straight to his room. Namjoon thinks he likes it there, it’s probably one of the only places Jungkook can walk freely without his cane because he’s so used to the way things are he doesn’t have to worry if he will trip on anything.
“Don’t lie on your bed!” He says firmly in which he hopes is a low tone because he doesn’t want to wake Taehyung up. Namjoon walks to his door and stares at the boy, lying on his bed. “Stand up, baby, you’re gonna wet your sheets.”
“Are you going to take my clothes off?” Jungkook asks and then laughs, blush spread across his face. “Oh my god, those lines are straight out of a porno!”
Namjoon laughs too.
“Come on, get up, if you stay in those clothes any longer you’re going to catch a cold.”
Jungkook pouts, eyes closed, hands in the air as he waits for Namjoon to pull him up. Namjoon does and once they are standing face to face, he kisses Jungkook again. It’s stronger than him, he can’t really help it, not when the boy is pouting and he likes him so much.
“Are you gonna take my clothes off now?” Jungkook wonders, lips spread in a shy smile while his cheeks remain coloured in the most beautiful shade of pink. “I don’t know about this, Namjoon, it’s too soon.”
“Did you just call me Namjoon ?” He raises an eyebrow, tone defying and Jungkook licks his lips. “So much insolence.”
“Sorry, hyung ,” Jungkook giggles. “I hate that one small mistake made you not pay attention to my joke,” he pouts again.
Namjoon wonders now, not for the first time, when did Jungkook get blind. He uses so many facial expressions that indicate he did see clearly at some point. Maybe he will tell him about it one day.
“Was it a joke, though?”
Jungkook gulps down.
“Uh, yeah, of course, what else?” His hands rest on Namjoon’s chest. “I’m starting to get cold.”
“Then let’s take these clothes off of you,” Namjoon stops. “Or I can leave and you can do it alone.”
“It’s ok, I don’t have a problem with you seeing me naked,” Jungkook takes a step back, removing his necklace and placing it on the nightstand. It’s all so fast Namjoon forgets for a moment he can’t see. “I used to be very shy about my body and seeing others without clothes on and then I met Taehyung” he chuckles, taking a deep breath. “He freed me, in a way. For a while I thought we’d end up together, but we’re better off as friends.”
Namjoon licks his lips, the question on the tip of his tongue.
“Back then I could still see,” he continues and Namjoon’s heart skips a beat. “I cared a lot about appearances, was very macho man, so you can say. I worked out a lot, well, I still do, but it’s not really about vanity anymore. I like being healthy.”
“You work out?” Namjoon hopes Jungkook misses the way his voice dropped half an octave because he really didn’t mean it to.
Jungkook’s hands go to the base of his sweater and he pulls it up, showing a very well defined chest. Namjoon blushes and looks away like a silly teenager.
“I do,” he says. “I’ll remove my pants now, if that’s okay with you, hyung.”
“It’s fine!” Namjoon clears his throat and watches the motion with his peripheral vision. Jungkook is now only in his black boxes and Namjoon bites his lower lip, feeling guilty for being so aroused at the sight of his thick and tanned thighs. “You want me to take these to the laundry area while you change?”
Jungkook shakes his head. “No, I mean, yeah, but first I want you to change too, can’t let you go home in these wet clothes. I’m sure my sweaters will fit on you.”
Namjoon finally looks completely at him again. The boy is standing on the edge of his bed, hands on his hips, just above the soft v-line mostly hidden by the wet boxes. It’s just… a sight. He gulps down hard, feels so foolish. A 26-year-old man who has had plenty of bedroom experiences feeling this thrown off by a half-naked body.
“Okay, Jungkook-ah,” He manages to say. “I’ll change, too.”
He removes his clothes fast, not wanting to prolong this any longer, fearing Jungkook will notice how affected he is — the boy had said it’s too soon, and Namjoon has a feeling he wasn’t really joking.
“You can put this on,” Jungkook says, handing him a black sweater and blue jeans. Namjoon was so caught up in removing his clothes he completely missed Jungkook putting on his. The wet underwear he was previously wearing lies on the floor with the rest of the clothes. Maybe it’s better off this way. “These jeans are big for me, so I think they’ll be okay in you.”
After he is dressed, Namjoon tells Jungkook he will put the clothes in the washing machine and the boy nods.
When he returns, Jungkook is cuddled under his covers, eyes opening and closing slowly, like he’s fighting his tiredness. Namjoon smiles softly.
“You can sleep, baby,” he says moving closer to sit on the bed. He wonders for a moment if it is big enough for the both of them. “I left my clothes there too, is that okay?”
Jungkook nods, closing his eyes, “It means you’ll be back to pick it up.”
“I’d be back regardless,” Namjoon strokes his cheek and Jungkook hums. “Just tell me when you want to see me again and I’ll be here.”
“Thirty seconds what?” Namjoon frowns.
“It’s when I want to see you again.”
They both chuckle and Namjoon tilts forward to peck his lips, but Jungkook holds him in place with a hand on the back of Namjoons neck, taking no time to deepen the kiss.
“Kookie,” Namjoon breathes on his lips. “I should go.”
“You don’t sound very sure,” Jungkook kisses him again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course,” he says, shifting a bit to feel more comfortable in that position.
“Do you feel, uh, sexually attracted to me?” He clears his throat. “Physically, I mean, uh, I can’t really think of someone’s body that way, but that must be something for you, right? So like, do you?”
The question hangs in the air for a moment. Not because Namjoon isn’t sure of the answer, but because he wasn’t expecting to hear it at all. He looks up to Jungkook’s face. His cheeks are still pink and he’s worrying on his bottom lip.
He thinks about a few minutes earlier when the boy said he didn’t mind being naked in front of him, and how now he’s nervous at the thought Namjoon might not feel sexual attraction towards him. Which, is, in Namjoon’s opinion, simply ludicrous.
Jungkook seems to shift between confident and shy a lot.
“Of course I do,” he responds, kissing Jungkook’s forehead. “I had to look away when you were taking your clothes off.”
“Why?” Jungkook frowns.
Namjoon licks his lips, “Afraid I’d get a boner.”
“Oh,” he mutters softly, the flush spreading to his ears, the hands still on Namjoon’s neck falling to his own lap. “Well, did it work?”
“Jungkook-ah…” Namjoon groans.
Jungkook laughs, right hand flying to cover his mouth. Namjoon straightens his body, the position finally proven too much for his back.
“I saw you,” Namjoon whispers. “And I’m still thinking about it.”
“Will you think about it later, too?”
Namjoon takes a deep breath.
“You’ll be the death of me.”
“Oh, how magnificent it is to die and keep on living,” Jungkook says, wild smile on his lips when he sits up on the bed and searches for Namjoon’s lips again. They kiss slowly for a while and then it ends all too soon. “Come back.”
“I will,” Namjoon pecks his lips and stands up, turning around to see Jungkook making grabbing motions. “I will try not to miss you too much.”
He whines and drops back on the bed, “That’s so cheesy! I like it.”
“Sleep well, baby.”
“You too, hyung.”
Namjoon wakes up and even before he opens his eyes, he knows he’s sick.
His body feels heavy, like every single muscle on his body took a beating, and his throat is filled with phlegm. Namjoon whines.
Grabbing his phone by his side, he presses the voice message button in Jungkook’s chat, but it is impossible to speak. He can’t even understand himself.
With a sight and the hopes Jungkook won’t have too much trouble, he types.
16:46 You: I have a cold and I can’t speak.
It doesn’t take long before he gets a reply.
16:52 Jeon Jungkook: It was horrible listening to that in siris voice. Also I hope this doesnt contain any typis, I have a good undersyanding of where letters are on the leyboard but not oergect.
16:54 You: Just send me voice messages, baby.
16:57 Jeon Jungkook: I nade many tupos didnt i
16:59 You: SEND VOICE MESSAGES ❤️
17:03: Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Since I appear to be making a lot of mistakes in writing I have given up! I was thinking maybe I could go and take care of you? I can bring your clothes too. Let me know .
Namjoon coughs, the disgusting feeling of sickness making him whine.
He doesn’t really want Jungkook to see him like that, specially because they have just kissed the night before. But how can he refuse? Will it upset Jungkook?
With a deep sigh, he decides honesty is the best policy.
17:10 You: I don’t want you to see me sick.
17:13 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: First of all, I won’t be seeing anything *laugh* I’m so funny! Second, don’t be silly, hyung! I don’t mind. I’d even kiss you sick!
17:15 You: I won’t allow.
17:16 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: But if I were the sick one I just bet you would want to kiss me! I see your true colours, mister RM.
17:18 You: Yes, because you’re hot and handsome and smart and I wouldn’t mind kissing you all day everyday, sick or not, because I want you. But I’m just gross so why would you want this?
Jungkook remains online, but doesn’t say anything. Namjoon coughs one more time, deciding it’s probably better if he stands up and finds medicine.
17:21 You: I’ll be right back.
Getting up proves to be a really hard task, but after a few grunts he manages to stand on his feet. Living the dark of his bedroom to the bright corridor is almost an attack on his eyes. Namjoon walks slowly and ends up on the guest bathroom in looks for medicine.
“What are you doing?” Yoongi asks and Namjoon almost jumps. “Jesus, calm down, wow, you look terrible.”
Namjoon tries to talk, but fails once again.
“How much phlegm do you have in your throat for you to be unable to speak?” Yoongi scrunts his nose and makes a disgusted noise. “Okay, I’ll help you.”
He should to say he knows what to do and doesn’t need any assistance, but Namjoon would be lying if he said Yoongi getting out of his way to help him doesn’t make him smile, so he lets him.
17:35 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Sorry, I freaked out a bit when you called me hot and handsome, although I would have preferred to hear it in your voice! Fun fact, I freak out a lot when uh, it comes to you.
Namjoon smiles, finally lying on his bed again, the loud noise of Yoongi making him food in the kitchen filling the room.
18:01 You sent a voice message: You do? You seem so calm most of the time.
18:04 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Your voice is back! And yeah, I know, it’s cause I have learned the art of neutrality, but if you knew the shit that goes through my head, hyung!
18:06 You sent a voice message: Beautiful, handsome and hot Jeon Jungkook, Yoongi-hyung is making food for dinner, would you like to join us, baby?
He chuckles to himself when it takes longer than necessary for Jungkook to start recording an audio back.
18:11 Jeon Jungkook sent you a voice message: Hyung, you’re so mean! You like to tease, I can see! Sadly it works. I’m on my way.
It is about an hour later when the doorbell rings and Namjoon lifts his face up from his phone to look at the door.
Yoongi moves smoothly and opens it to a bright smile from his boyfriend and a taller figure behind Jimin’s tiny self.
“Hyung!” Jimin says, kissing Yoongi on the lips and hugging him tight. “I missed you!”
“Didn’t you see him yesterday?” Jungkook mutters and Jimin turns around to shove him on the shoulder. “Ah! Unnecessary!”
Jimin moves away from the door so Jungkook can enter and Namjoon watches from the couch as his cane tilts the floor. It eventually hits the back of the couch and Jungkook closes the object, holding it tightly as he makes his way around to sit on the furniture.
“My legs are there,” Namjoon says softly.
“Lift them so I can sit and then you can put them on my lap,” Jungkook says back, blush spreading on his cheek.
Namjoon does as he’s told and soon enough Jungkook is caressing his ankles with the tip of his fingers.
“Hi, hyung, are you feeling any better?”
“Not really,” Namjoon coughs. “But being able to speak is great.”
Jungkook smiles, “It’d be a bitch to communicate since I can’t see your facial expressions.”
Namjoon looks at the couple kissing by the door and rolls his eyes.
“Do you think my tone tells you everything you need to know?” He asks.
Jungkook sucks on his bottom lip and takes a few seconds to answer.
“I think it tells me a lot of what I need to know, but maybe not everything,” he looks at Namjoon and the older wishes he could really see him. “I get angry about it sometimes, but it’s not worth it, you know? I can’t change it, so why would I make my life more difficult by getting mad about this?”
“That’s very mature of you,” Namjoon replies in a small voice.
Jungkook clicks his tongue, “I left Taehyung alone playing Overwatch to come here. That’s very mature of me.”
Namjoon laughs and watches as Jimin sits on the other couch.
“Hyung said he’s making tteok-bokki, it’s been a while since I ate it!” He says. “Are you okay, Namjoon-hyung?”
“I am,” Namjoon responds with his eyes fixed on Jungkook’s serene expression. “Oh well, I’m sick so it sucks a bit, but I’m okay.”
Less than an hour later they are sitting on the six places dinner table Namjoon and Yoongi never use, talking about Kim Seokjin, the international actor Jimin and Jungkook didn’t know were Yoongi’s and Namjoon’s college buddy.
Namjoon’s nose hurts and he feels the tiredness of his bones, but he smiles. Because Jungkook is happy, talking loudly and drumming his fingers on the table while singing the opening theme of Seokjin’s latest k-drama.
That… That feels right.
“Hyung, you’re so silent!” Jungkook says while looking for his hand on the table. When he finds it, the intertwining of fingers comes easy, like he hasn’t even thought about it. “Do you want to lie down?”
He doesn’t, but it’s probably a good idea. He’s feeling exhausted, which is ridiculous considering he has done nothing today.
“No, but I think I should,” Yoongi stands up to help him, but Namjoon waves a hand. “You guys stay talking, I’ll be in my room.”
“Don’t you want me to go with you?” Jungkook asks in the smallest voice he has ever heard from the younger. Jimin grins, eyes disappearing with the size of his smile.
“I want you to be with me all the time, Jungkook-ah, but I think you’d enjoy yourself more here.”
Yoongi puts more of the food on his plate, seeming completely uninterested, but Namjoon knows better; his best friend is a very private person and doesn’t like to meddle in moments that don’t belong to him. His boyfriend, on the other hand, has a harder time trying to pretend he’s not listening.
Jungkook nods, “Whatever you want.”
Namjoon tries to swallow, but it’s hard. Fuck, he really hates to be sick. But then again, who likes it?
He steps forward and grabs Jungkook’s hand, intertwining their fingers again.
“Come on, don’t misinterpret the things I say, baby, I just think you’re gonna be bored.”
He tries to ignore the way Yoongi choked on his food when Namjoon pronounced the word baby.
“I came here to be with you, didn’t I?” Jungkook rolls his eyes, standing up.
“Then let’s be with me, but I warn you, Jeon Jungkook, do not try to kiss me,” He hopes his tone is teasing enough.
Jungkook blushes so hard Namjoon almost regrets saying it in front of their friends. Almost.
“Good,” Namjoon pulls him towards his room. “I don’t want you to be sick too.”
It starts with a sharp breath.
Namjoon doesn’t think much of it, tries to go back to sleep. But then he feels fear bubbling under his skin, shaking his bones, closing his throat and whispering in his ear.
Soon, he can hear the weight of his own thoughts.
He hates it. Always has.
“Jungkook,” he whispers, not knowing if the boy’s still in the room. Maybe he left, like everybody leaves. Maybe he finally knows Namjoon, and that’s why he’s not there.
Yeah, that makes sense.
Namjoon closes his eyes, trying to breathe slow and deep, just like his therapist told him to.
This is not real .
“A for apple, B for bacon, C for chair, D for door,” Namjoon mutters, hands shaking. Just in your mind. “E for earth, F for fork, G for garbage–”
Have you called your mother this week?
Did you send Bang PD that beat?
Remember that comment someone made about your nose on naver?
Jungkook left .
“H for hospital, I for ice-cream, J for jewel,” Namjoon keeps breathing, hands pressing firmly on his naked thighs. “K for kaleidoscope, L for labyrinth, M for monkey–”
The door cracks open and Namjoon’s eyes fly open.
Jungkook is tiptoeing around the room, trying to make the minimum amount of noise. He’s not wearing his hoodie anymore, just a black shirt.
The boy’s about to sit on the armchair next to the closet when Namjoon speaks, “The bed is more comfortable.”
“You’re awake,” Jungkook mutters, moving to sit on the bed instead. He finds Namjoon’s face and caresses his cheek before frowning. “You’re shaking.”
Namjoon bites his lower lip. “Anxiety.”
“What do you do when it happens?”
“There are a bunch of things I can do,” Namjoon whispers, taking Jungkook’s hand in his. “But right now I just need you.”
Jungkook breathes slowly, and Namjoon knows he should be ashamed of saying that, because they just started whatever it is that they’re doing. But he doesn’t care. He just really needs Jungkook to hold him.
“Want me to spoon you?” The boy asks.
The younger one moves closer and they both lie on the bed, Jungkook’s arm around Namjoon’s waist, breath even against his neck.
“Everything goes, hyung,” he whispers, kissing Namjoon’s jaw. “This wind will pass, like all winds do.”
Namjoon holds him closer. His heart is still beating too fast, and his hands are still shaking. But Jungkook’s holding him.
He’s gonna be okay.
Namjoon looks at Jungkook from the corner of his eye and smiles.
“You have nothing to be worried about, no need to be so nervous.”
Jungkook breathes out, “I just–, I’m not sure I’m ready.”
He licks his lips, moving closer to the younger, touching Jungkook’s cheek with the knuckles of his fingers. The boy almost purrs at it, eyes closed. There aren’t many things Namjoon loves more than Jungkook’s reactions to his touches.
“Yes, you are,” he mutters softly, pecking the boy’s lips quickly. “You’ve been ready your whole life.”
“That’s so cheesy, hyung,” he whines, dropping his head on Namjoon’s chest while the elder laughs. “I really don’t think I can.”
“Hey, baby, look at–,” Namjoon cuts himself off and Jungkook raises his head again, eyebrows raised. “Shit, sorry.”
“ How many times are you gonna say sorry for this type of thing? ” Jungkook grins. “It’s just a figure of speech, eventually it fades out. Continue what you were saying.”
Namjoon pecks his lips again, “You’re a great singer, you told me that yourself. Now go in there and put your beautiful voice on my song.”
Jungkook nods firmly, tilting his head up to capture Namjoon’s lips once again. They’re in BigHit, and even though everyone there knows about Namjoon’s sexuality, it still isn’t an appropriate place for this kind of display of affection.
When Jungkook licks inside his mouth, however, Namjoon can’t bring himself to tell the younger to stop. Fuck, he doesn’t want Jungkook to ever stop.
He puts his hands in the base of the boy’s spine, just above the curve of his ass, and squeezes, making Jungkook moan softly against his mouth.
There’s no one in that room besides them, but that could change at any moment, and Namjoon wishes, God, he really wishes his brain could function properly when he’s with Jungkook, but all his senses are gone and the only thing he can focus on now is the way Jungkook’s not so subtly grinding his hips against Namjoon’s thigh.
“Baby,” he mutters lowly, moving to kiss Jungkook’s sharp jaw and then his neck, the boy bending his head to the side to give Namjoon more space. “You taste really good, you know?”
“So you’ve said,” Jungkook breathes out, hands holding Namjoon’s shoulders as if to ground himself.
Namjoon licks at a particularly prominent vein on Jungkook’s neck, sucking a red bruise on the same spot afterwards. He smiles against the skin at the low surprised moan that escapes through Jungkook’s lips and moves back up to kiss him again.
The kiss is hot and wet and it’s basically all they’ve been doing for the past week and a half, since Namjoon’s cold disappeared.
Maybe he should be worried they haven’t done much more than heavily making out at every given opportunity and learn the lyrics of Namjoon’s song between the kissing sessions. Maybe he should be worried they haven’t talked about what they are to each other, but really, Namjoon doesn’t mind.
He has always been okay with labels, and never shied away from a good quick fuck either. But with Jungkook everything feels right, just the way in which it is moving, and Namjoon loves it.
A knock on the door makes Jungkook push Namjoon away, and even though the arousal and electricity is still there, Namjoon feels like his mind has cleared a bit, like waking up from a spell.
“ Namjoon-ah ?” Hoseok’s voice is heard. “ The studio is ready for Jungkook .”
“We’re coming!” He says, clearing his throat and staring at the mess that is Jungkook right now.
He has a purple bruise fading on the other side of his neck, something Namjoon had given him the day before, and of course, the new red one from three minutes ago. His lips are swollen, hair a complete disaster and worse of all, Jungkook has a boner.
“You don’t need to tell me, I can feel it,” Jungkook‘s cheeks are flustered. “If we just wait a bit I’m sure it, uh, will go away.”
Namjoon licks his lips, feeling his own boner restrained inside his jeans.
“Or–,” he starts, not even sure this is a good idea; it’s probably not, all things considered. “I can help you with that.”
Jungkook gulps down hard, the blush on his cheeks intensifying.
“You want to suck my dick?” He whispers.
Namjoon breathes out slowly, “Uh, yeah, I do, but I meant uh, a handjob? For starters.”
“Oh, okay, that makes sense,” Jungkook nods vigorously. “For starters.”
Namjoon searches his face for any sign of discomfort. Jungkook just seems to be really nervous, but he’s been nervous since they got inside Namjoon’s car two hours before.
“Do you want it?” He asks. “It’s okay if you don’t.”
Jungkook breathes slowly. He’s wearing a black shirt with blue jeans and a beanie. He looks so young, and so deeply inexperienced, but truth is, Namjoon doesn’t know if he is inexperienced. Maybe he’s just shy and self-conscious -–something Namjoon himself can relate to.
“You’re asking me if I want you?” Jungkook sucks on his bottom lip. “Hyung, I have a boner , are you blind?”
“Uh-” Namjoon starts, but the boy interrupts.
“I’m not a kid,” he mutters. “I think about-,” Namjoon notices Jungkook’s hands are shaking as he hides them behind his back, “I think about it a lot.”
“About it ?”
“Yeah, it,” Jungkook swallows.
“You mean sex.”
“Sex is it, indeed.”
He moves a step forward, chuckling, “You’re adorable, did you know?”
“I don’t think adorable is the best word to describe someone who’s dick is about to go in your hand, but suit yourself,” Jungkook clicks his tongue.
Namjoon puts his hands on Jungkook’s hips and guides him back softly until he’s caged him against the bege wall. Pressing his erection against Jungkook’s thick thigh, Namjoon kisses the boy languidly.
He has always liked to take the lead in situations such as this, and the fact Jungkook seems eager to let him only makes his arousal grow.
“ Hyung, ” Jungkook says and Namjoon can’t tell if it’s a pleading or a warning.
Knock. Knock. Knock.
“Fucking christ,” Namjoon groans on Jungkook’s mouth, making him chuckle.
“Are you… Okay in there?” Hoseok’s voice comes once again, this time very amusing. “ Whatever it is y’all are doing, I’m sure you can do it later .”
Namjoon knows he’s right, but all it takes is a glance at Jungkook for him to lose all perspective.
Maybe he’s fucked.
“Give us three minutes!” Namjoon exclaims, moving away from the pulsing body. Jungkook takes a deep breathe. “Or maybe five.”
“ I’ll stall them ,” Hoseok chuckles.
Jungkook bites his lower lip and tilts his head, “I’m thinking about dead puppies.”
“I have to,” he whines. “Dead little pretty puppies, who had families and little pretty kids who loved them!”
“Jungkook, no,” Namjoon covers his face with his hands. “Shut up!”
“At least it’s working!”
“I hate you, I really do.”
Jungkook throws his head back onto the wall and sighs heavily, a smile on his lips, “No, hyung, you really don’t.”
If Namjoon knew taking Jungkook into the studio would result in their first disagreement, he would have thought about it a little more. Because the boy is sitting across from him with a pout, arms crossed and head low, and Namjoon feels like a complete and utter failure.
“Not everything goes perfectly the first time, baby,” he tries. “Let’s just go again.”
“I told you I wasn’t a singer, but you wanted me to, so I went and then you said there’s no passion in my voice,” Jungkook responds in a rush, fingers now playing with the base of his shirt. “I feel so embarrassed.”
Namjoon slides off of his chair and walks on his knees to Jungkook’s spot on the couch, settling in between his legs, hands on his hips.
“ Baby, ” he starts. “There’s no reason for you to feel embarrassed, please, don’t say that. It’s normal for things to not work sometimes in the studio, it’s part of it, it’s okay. I know you can do this, I know you have what it takes.”
Jungkook chews on his lower lip, hands travelling through Namjoon’s hair as he tries to ease his breath. Namjoon waits while circling his fingers on the sides of Jungkook’s skin under his shirt.
“I don’t know, hyung.”
“The day we met, I was supposed to be working on this song,” Namjoon tells him. “But I couldn’t get it out of me. I wasn’t feeling the lyrics.”
Namjoon takes a deep breath, feeling the weight of what he’s about to say even before the words are out of his mouth.
“Because I didn’t know what it was like to be around someone that made me feel like that.”
Jungkook’s grip on his hair tightens as the boy takes his words in. “And you do now?”
They stay silent for a few seconds, both getting used to that vulnerability.
“I feel the same way about you,” Jungkook whispers, smiling shyly. “Unless you meant someone else you’ve met lately, then in that case, Tannie’s the one who makes me feel like that.”
Namjoon laughs and tilts his body forward to press a kiss to Jungkook’s lips. “You can do this, Kook-ah, you know the emotion.”
“I know the emotion,” he repeats and stands up. “Okay, let’s get it.”
“ Let’s get it ?” Namjoon laughs again. “You’re an idiot.”
Jungkook intertwines their fingers and starts to pull him towards the door, his other hand tilting the wall.
“An idiot and the cause of your euphoria .”
“When you say it like that , it’s just cringey.”
“It is,” Jungkook giggles. “It really is, but you started it.”
Namjoon makes an indignant sound, “I was trying to prove a point!”
“You proved it,” Jungkook lets go of his hand and turns around, smile bright. “Now, put me in that booth and let me sing your song.”
Hoseok hands him the headphones, smile as bright as Jungkook’s, and Namjoon puts the on the boy and pecks his lips.
You’re the sun that rose again in my life
Namjoon smiles softly. Jungkook has his eyes closed, head tilted to the side.
A reincarnation of my childhood dreams
Hoseok breathes relieved by his side and Namjoon knows why.
I don’t know what these emotions are
Am I still dreaming?
It’s perfect. Jungkook’s perfect.
“Where did you find him again?” Hoseok wonders, eyes glued on the boy inside the booth singing about euphoria.
“In the park,” Namjoon chuckles. “I knew he could do it, Hoseok-ah.”
Take my hands now
You’re the cause of my euphoria
“He has a great voice,” Hoseok agrees. “With a little more training, maybe we could make him a full time vocalist. You think that’s something he’d want?”
Namjoon shrugs. “I have no idea.”
Jungkook has expressed his devotion to music in almost every single conversation they shared, and Namjoon can clearly see how talented he is, but would he want a career out of it?
The boy opens his eyes and blinks a few times, singing the last note of the song and taking a deep breath. Everyone around Namjoon starts to applaud him when Hoseok talks through the speaker, telling Jungkook he did an amazing job. The boy blushes and bows, taking off the headphones and stepping out of the booth.
“I told you,” Namjoon mutters, putting his hands on Jungkook’s hips and moving him closer. It’s intimate, and definitely inappropriate for the place they’re at, but Namjoon simply doesn’t care. He needs to touch Jungkook, to feel him. “This song’s meant to be sung by you.”
Hoseok chuckles, “He’s right, Jungkook, you have a beautiful voice. We here at BigHit would love to hear more from it.”
Jungkook sucks on his bottom lip, the hands that were slowly travelling through Namjoon’s arms stopping at his shoulders and squeezing.
“What do you mean?”
Namjoon loosen his hold on Jungkook’s hips a bit so Hoseok can walk closer to them, typical cheerful smile displayed on his lips. “I mean that you’re talented. I gotta show this to the bosses, but I think they’ll be impressed.”
“Thank you,” Jungkook smiles. “Taehyung’s really excited about your date.”
“Tell him I’m excited too, and that no, I won’t sit on the table and rap for him.”
They all laugh after that, but Namjoon doesn’t fail to notice how Jungkook took the attention away from himself as soon as the opportunity rose up.
“Hyung,” he says after Hoseok and the others have left. “Take me home.”
“You’re tired?” Namjoon mutters, hand resting on Jungkook’s neck, circling his finger around the boy’s nape.
Jungkook bites his bottom lip and shakes his head. “Not tired.”
Namjoon frowns, completely lost for a few seconds, but then Jungkook lowers his grip from Namjoon’s back to his bum and the rapper gets it.
“You want my hand?” He whispers and watches as Jungkook swallows hard. “For starters.”
“I hate starters, want your mouth,” Jungkook whispers back and blushes intensely, mouth hanging open like he can’t believe those words were really spoken by him.
Namjoon feels arousal fill his entire body.
“Kook-ah…,” he breathes out. “I’ll give you whatever you want, how many times you want, however you want it.”
“Fuck,” Jungkook kisses him quickly. “That’s really hot.”
“You’re really hot,” Namjoon kisses him, fast and hard. “I don’t know how to dirty talk, I’m sorry.”
Jungkook chuckles against his lips. “I think you’re doing just fine.”
When the boy leans in, Namjoon grabs his hips hard and cages him against the wall, pressing his crotch on Jungkook’s firmly.
“Take me home,” Jungkook mutters breaking the kiss apart. “We can’t have sex in your label.”
“Well, we can –, but it doesn’t mean we should.”
Jungkook pushes his face away and smiles softly, shaky eyes trying to focus on Namjoon’s face. They’re so close. It must mean that the boy can see him better.
“Did you just add Fornicate in BigHit’s Headquarters to your To-Do List?”
“Fornicate!” Jungkook laughs out loud, head thrown back. Namjoon laughs with him. “Gosh, just take me home, will you? Really wanna get rid of these clothes.”
Namjoon pecks his lips. “Eager, are we?”
Jungkook sighs heavily, grabbing Namjoon’s hand and putting it over his crotch, where his dick is hardening quickly.
“ Take me home ,” he repeats more firmly this time, and what is Namjoon gonna do, say no?
Fuck, that’s a meme.
“What’s so funny about me being horny for you?” Jungkook frowns, cheeks becoming redder than before.
“Nothing, baby,” Namjoon whispers against his ear. “I’m gonna take you home and you’re gonna tell me exactly what you want, and I’ll give it to you.”
Jungkook holds his shirt and jerks his hips forward one time, dragging a moan out of both of them.
“Call an Uber, hyung,” the younger man says. “Please.”
Namjoon trails his fingers through Jungkook’s torso, watching intently as the boy’s breath hitches and he licks his lips, mouth slack. He shifts his position, holding his weight on his elbows and presses a kiss to Jungkook’s v-line, making the boy underneath him shiver.
“You’re so sensitive,” he comments, moving up so he can press another kiss, this time to his belly button.
Jungkook chuckles. “I’ve always been sensitive to touch, but since I went blind it got… heightened? I guess that’s the word,” His hand travels through Namjoon’s hair. “I love this moment, love feeling your hands and mouth on me.”
The rapper smiles against his skin, lips barely touching Jungkook’s body. “What else do you love?”
“You mean in bed?”
Namjoon hums softly under his breath, eyeing Jungkook’s exposed nipples, starting to wonder how would the boy react if he licked them. “Yes, in bed.”
“Well,” Jungkook starts, blushing. “It depends on my mood.”
“Care to elaborate?” Namjoon kisses his torso once again, moving closer to his right nipple.
They’ve been lying like this for about twenty minutes now. Once they got to Jungkook’s apartment, all the rush was left aside. Namjoon took off Jungkook’s shirt while they lazily made out, and then started to observe all the ways his touches could make the boy shudder.
“I like slow sex when I’m tired or at ease,” Jungkook says in a small voice. “And I like hard fucking too, when I’m excited or sad.”
Namjoon hums again and Jungkook sighs, thinking.
“I prefer to bottom,” he says. “But it also depends on my mood.”
“Okay,” Namjoon studies his face. “What else do you like? I wanna know everything, baby, so I can give it to you.”
Jungkook covers his face, a whine escaping through lips. “Hyung! You talk about it with such ease, I don’t know if I can do it.”
Namjoon darts his tongue out, licking Jungkook’s nipple tentatively, and the boy squirms. He shifts his body so he can put one leg between Jungkook’s and presses firmly against the boy’s crotch, making him pant. Namjoon sucks on his nipple, his left hand travelling up and down the boy’s side.
“Let me tell you what I like, then, and you can tell me if it sounds good to you,” Namjoon whispers and Jungkook pants again, muttering a y-y es , hyung . “I’d like seeing you fall apart under my touch. I’d like to see you tell me how much you want it, beg me to give it to you. Would like to hear you, hear all of you, how loud you can get.”
“ Hyung ,” Jungkook shakes under him, nails dragging on Namjoon’s skin under his shirt. “You told me you didn’t know how to dirty talk.”
Namjoon chuckles and pecks his lips.
“I like what you just said,” Jungkook mutters. “Please.”
“Please what, baby?”
Jungkook closes his eyes, licking his kiss-swollen lips. “Make me fall apart.”
So Namjoon does.
He kisses every inch of Jungkook’s body, travels his hands through the soft skin, drinks in every moan, every quiver, every plead. He does it slowly, almost too slowly, grinding against the boy, feeling how hard he’s getting, gaining more and more confidence each time Jungkook moans his name.
Jungkook has his hands on Namjoon’s hair, fingers pulling at the locks ever so softly, trying to hold himself together, even if he was the one who asked Namjoon to make him a mess. He tries to muffle the sounds falling from his lips, whispers to the other he doesn’t want Taehyung to know what they’re doing, but then Namjoon reminds him his roommate isn’t home.
And then Jungkook lets himself go.
He starts to moan loudly, to beg loudly. The more Namjoon teases him, the more Jungkook gasps and squirms underneath him. “Touch me,” he begs, out of breath. “Please, hyung, just touch me.”
“I am touching you, baby,” Namjoon responds, kissing his neck.
“You know what I mean,” Jungkook drags his nails on Namjoon’s arm, and the rapper shivers. “Touch my dick, you said you would.”
“I will,” Namjoon chuckles. “But we agreed I’d make you fall apart first, now you’re just being impatient.”
Jungkook huffs, “I’m already completely fallen apart, you idiot, just touch my dick.”
Namjoon laughs, kisses his cheek. “Whatever you want.”
Moving his left hand down, he opens the button on Jungkook’s jeans and pulls down the zipper, the anticipation on the boy’s face making him a little anxious, the fear of disappointing Jungkook suddenly too strong.
Stop. You got this.
The rapper wraps his hand around Jungkook’s hard cock, pumping his fist a few times, watching in awe as Jungkook’s mouth hangs open and the prettiest moan he has ever heard falls from his lips. The boy’s eyes are now open, shaky as always, staring at the ceiling.
There’s already pre-cum leaking, and Namjoon spreads it to make the slide of his fingers easier, sucking a red bruise to Jungkook’s collarbone as he speeds up the pace of his handjob.
“Mmm,” Jungkook tightens his hold of Namjoon’s arm. “This feels so good.”
Namjoon hums and steadies his hand. Not giving much time for Jungkook to start protesting, he lowers the boy’s pants and underwear, and the younger man lifts his hips so Namjoon can remove the clothes from his body completely.
“You said you wanted my mouth,” he mutters, hovering Jungkook’s leaking cock and pressing a kiss to the head. The boy curses. “Something about hating starters?”
“Just suck my dick, will you?” Jungkook grunts, a hand pulling his own hair.
“Bossy,” Namjoon teases, holding the base of his cock, and licking the tip. “Let’s see how much of that tone you’ll give me once I’m gagging on your dick.”
“ You said you didn’t know how do dirty , oh, fuck ,” Jungkook whimpers when Namjoon takes him into his mouth. Namjoon starts bobbing slowly, the left hand still pumping the base of Jungkook’s dick as his right hand massages his balls. “Hyung, for real, this is, fuck, I love this.”
Namjoon wants to respond, but to do that he’d have to pull out, and he can’t handle not having Jungkook’s body quivering as curses and moans fill the room’s wet sex noises. He can’t not have the boy pulling at his hair, back arching as he gets closer to climax.
“Namjoon, I’m gonna-,” Jungkook chokes, trying to get out of the other’s hold. “If you don’t stop, I’m gonna cum in your, fuck, Namjoon. ”
The rapper pulls out, pumping his fist hard and fast, eyes glued on Jungkook’s fucked out expression as the boy cums all over his hand, the bedsheets and himself, a loud moan escaping through his lips as his body shakes with the force of his orgasm.
“Fuck, Kookie, you’re so pretty,” Namjoon breathes out, his own aching cock hurting because of the restrains of his black jeans.
Jungkook stays silent, trying to ease his breath. Namjoon kisses his hip, getting up from the bed to find something to clean the boy up.
“You’ve never called me Kookie before,” Jungkook mutters when he comes back with a towel and starts to clean the cum out of the boy’s body. “Let me suck you off now.”
Namjoon licks his lips and pushes Jungkook back to lie down when he sits up. “Wait, there’s no rush, baby, you’re spent.”
The boy doesn’t protest, just opens his arms so Namjoon can lie between them, and before doing so, the rapper takes off his shirt. He wants to feel his skin against Jungkook’s.
They remain in silence for a while, just caressing each other’s skin, breathing slowly. Namjoon feels calm, at ease, like there’s no other place in which he belonged to other than Jungkook’s arms.
“I had just turned 18 when I found out,” Jungkook mutters and Namjoon turns his head up to look at the boy’s face. He has his eyes closed, brow frowned. “I’ve always had problems with my sight, but I didn’t think that, uh, that would lead me to being unable to see. Specially at 18.”
Namjoon starts circling his fingers on Jungkook’s torso again, listening.
“They told me it’d get worse, and worse, until I could only see blurs,” he continues. “At first I was so angry, I remember coming home and completely trashing my room, crying, screaming. Jimin found me sobbing on the floor, a bottle of vodka with me.”
Jungkook stops talking, breathing still slow, calm. He’s taking his time. Namjoon guesses this isn’t an easy subject for him, and he’s so happy that even so, the boy has decided to share it.
“I knew that in less than a year I’d be legally blind, and I couldn’t deal with it, you know? It was too much. I thought it was unfair,” Jungkook sighs. “My parents cried so much… My older brother was our rock, really. The three of us were a mess. And Jiminie-hyung, of course. God, Tae is a great friend and I love him so much, but Jiminie… He’s so protective in a way I’ve never known before. Every night I came home completely trashed Jiminie was there to clean me, and put me to bed.”
“I’ve never seen Yoongi-hyung so in love,” Namjoon comments, chuckling. “I guess we should all be thankful for having someone like Jimin in our lives.”
“Yeah,” Jungkook whispers. “It was two months before my nineteenth birthday that I finally got my shit together. I took all the money I had saved in four years working at diners, and bars, and travelled the world. Wait, let me show you the pictures!”
Jungkook squirms out of Namjoon’s hold and jumps out of bed, going straight to his wardrobe and retrieving a blue photo-album. He does it so fast that Namjoon figures the object is always at ease reach.
The boy goes back to the bed in all his naked glory and hands the album to Namjoon, who opens it up to see Jungkook’s bright bunny smile in front of Christ the Redeemer in Rio de Janeiro.
“You went to Brazil?” Namjoon mutters, surprised. “I’ve been there a couple of times while on tour, but never took a picture here, or any cool place like this.”
Jungkook chuckles. “Yeah, I went to a few cities in Brazil, actually! One of my college friends, Mariana, she’s brazilian. She told me about a lot of nice places, and off I went. I spent three weeks of my two months there. It was so beautiful, Namjoon, I saw so many things, people, views. What a beautiful country.”
Namjoon can see it. He doesn’t know the name of the places in Jungkook’s pictures, be he can tell how happy the boy is in all of them – sometimes alone, sometimes surrounded by a lot of different people, all as happy as he seemed to be. “After Brazil, where did you go?”
“I spent about ten or so days travelling through South America. Did you know it’s pretty easy to backpack there? Like in Europe. I made some friends, even though we all sucked at communiticating. We spoke through music, food and… Well, sex.”
“Sounds perfect,” Namjoon clicks his tongue and the boy laughs. He can see how tanned Jungkook’s skin started to look in the pictures as he advanced in his travel. “Oh, here you are in Machu Picchu. Gorgeous.”
“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook leans forward to press a kiss to Namjoon’s mouth, but ends up kissing his nose instead. “Fuck, sorry.”
Namjoon kisses him. “No need to apologize, baby,” he kisses him again. “So, after South America, where did you go?”
Jungkook grins. “Africa.”
He can see it, in the pictures, and oh, it’s so beautiful. The country, the people, the happy look on Jungkook’s face. Namjoon has yet to see the boy so utterly happy. He hopes he gets to. Hopes that look of complete joy isn’t something Jungkook has left behind in his past, along with his sight.
“You’re amazing,” he mutters, in awe. Namjoon can’t even begin to understand what the younger man has been through – has to go through everyday. But he feels so proud of how Jungkook turned his life around. How he packed up and left, saw the world before he no longer could. “Do you remember it? Beyond the photos.”
“Somethings,” Jungkook smiles, and it’s a little sad. “I burned some images in my mind, and I promised myself I’d never forget them, even though I know one day I will.”
Namjoon glances at the last picture – Jungkook with a bucket of water over his shoulder – and closes the album, setting it on the nightstand.
“You know, after we kissed in the rain and you left, I cried,” Jungkook says in a small voice. “I cried because you told me I was beautiful, and looking at me made you horny, and I knew I would never be able to say the same.”
Namjoon’s about to protest, but Jungkook seems to sense it, even if he can’t see it, and raises his hand.
“Worst than that, I’ll never be able to know it. To know your face, and how beautiful I’m sure you are, and I hate it, Namjoon. I hate the fact I can’t burn your face into my mind, and never forget it.”
“You can’t see my face, but you can memorize it,” Namjoon whispers, taking Jungkook’s hands in his. “You can memorize the sound of my voice, and the texture of my skin. You can memorize my smell, and the way my lips make you feel when they’re on you. There are so many things about me you can burn into your mind, my love, and I want you to. I hope you will.”
Jungkook brings their hands up and kisses Namjoon’s. “I like you so much, hyung.”
“Jungkook,” Namjoon says his name like he’s pleading. Maybe he is.
“Be my boyfriend.”
Jungkook’s smile grows. “For real, I wanted to ask that, but I’m a pussy and I couldn’t do it, so I was totally hoping you would, and now you did!”
“Is that a yes?”
“Of course, hyung!” Jungkook laughs and Namjoon follows behind. The boy throws himself at him and Namjoon falls back into the pillow, Jungkook’s mouth on his, kissing him deeply. “Of course I want to be your boyfriend, silly.”
It feels so easy. He asked, Jungkook accepted it. Just like that.
“I feel like there’s a catch,” Namjoon giggles as Jungkook puts his face in the space between his neck and shoulder. “Life ain’t that simple.”
“It can be,” Jungkook whispers. “I like you a lot, and somehow you seem to like me a lot too. Life isn’t complicated, hyung, we are.”
Namjoon travels his fingers over Jungkook’s back and stops just above his ass. The boy sucks in a sharp breath and licks on Namjoon’s neck, teeth scraping slightly.
“Are you a vampire?”
Jungkook sucks on his neck and Namjoon closes his eyes, an intense feeling of arousal filling his system. He lowers his hands and squizzes Jungkook’s ass, making the boy moan in surprise, lips now brushing over Namjoon’s wet neck.
“Hyung,” he whispers. “Remember when you said you’d do whatever I wanted?”
Namjoon hums, throat suddenly dry as he feels Jungkook’s cock hardening against his thigh. “Yes. As long as you don’t want me to pee on you, or choke you.”
“Hardcore kinks,” Jungkook chuckles under his breath. “No… I want you to fuck me. Will you?”
“Do you have lube and condom?” Namjoon asks in the most controlled voice he could manage, Jungkook’s hips moving slowly, brushing his cock against Namjoon’s covered thigh.
“I have lube somewhere…” Jungkook lifts his head. “Tae definitely has condoms.”
Namjoon stares at him. “You want me to steal your roommate’s condoms?”
“Unless you want to go out to buy some,” Jungkook tilts his head. “Or pass on fucking me.”
“I hate you,” Namjoon mutters, shifting their positions so he can stand up, hard cock resting uncomfortably inside his pants. Jungkook laughs. “Where do you think he keeps them?”
Jungkook lies on his back, the sight of his half-hard cock resting on his belly while he has multiple red-spots from Namjoon’s kisses and bites all over his body going straight to Namjoon’s dick.
“Nightstand,” he says, hand wrapping around his cock. “Then you can find lube in my bottom drawer, I think that’s where I put it after I fingered myself thinking about you a couple nights ago.”
“Jungkook,” Namjoon breathes out, his entire body pulsing with want. “Fuck, I’ll be right back.”
Namjoon goes to Taehyung’s room half-laughing, half-panting. Jungkook shifts between shy and confident so quickly, it’s almost unreal.
It’s easy to find the package with condoms since it rests half-empty inside Taehyung’s nightstand. He grabs one and quickly moves out of the room. Once he’s back to Jungkook’s bedroom, he closes and locks the door, just in case his friend comes back earlier than expected.
Jungkook’s eyes are closed, mouth slack as he touches himself slowly. Namjoon exhales heavily, dropping on his knees to find the bottle of lube. It is not where Jungkook said it was, but thrown on the floor next to his running shoes.
“Watermelon flavoured?” Namjoon mutters, amused. Jungkook chuckles softly from the bed. “You keep surprising me, Jeon Jungkook.”
“Why?” He purrs. “Did you think I used water-based lube? Where’s the fun in that?”
Namjoon stands up and knees again, this time on the bed next to Jungkook. He watches as the boy’s soft sounds scape from his lips as he slowly pumps his fist on his own length, eyes flickering. “Stop staring at me.”
“How do you even know?”
“You’re, mhm, too quiet.”
The rapper drops the lube and condom on the bed and looks down at his own erection. “I should probably have taken out my pants before sitting, it’s really painful.”
Jungkook lets go of his cock, eyes opening and lips on a pout. “You’re still dressed, hyung? Lemme.”
Before Namjoon can say anything, Jungkook has reached for him and opened the button of his jeans. It feels better already, but then the boy palms his length through the blue boxes and Namjoon tilts his head back, a relieved moan filling the room as he’s finally touched.
“You should’ve let me suck you off earlier,” Jungkook complains.
“You can always do it now, baby,” Namjoon smirks. “I’ll stand up to take these off, wait.”
He laughs while doing it because Jungkook has the biggest pout on his lips and it’s so adorable ; like he’s not completely naked waiting for Namjoon to come back and let him finally suck his dick.
Once he’s fully naked, Namjoon strokes his own length a few times, feeling the pleasure run through his body before lying down with his back on the headboard, Jungkook’s hands over his thighs.
“Can I?” The boy asks, blush on his cheeks.
“Yeah, baby, you can.”
He watches Jungkook grab his cock and pump it, entranced by the boy’s every movement. The way he shyly sucks the tip, licks the underside, massages the balls – attentive to how Namjoon will react to his touches.
Namjoon can’t take his eyes off of him; not when Jungkook takes him into his mouth, as deep as he possibly can without gagging. He exhales heavily, the heat and wetness of it making his body shudder.
Jungkook slowly bobs his head up and down, like he’s testing himself, and Namjoon, too. The rapper caresses his hair, the urge to guide almost too strong, but he controls himself. He wants Jungkook to do this his own way, at whatever pace he wishes.
When Jungkook circles his tongue around the tip Namjoon moans deeply, feeling the heat of his orgasm starting to build up. “Kookie…”
The boy hums around his cock, speeding up the pace as his nails drag on the sides of Namjoon’s thighs.
“Baby, ah, you can’t make me cum, you said you wanted me, fuck, ” Namjoon stops talking when Jungkook takes more of him into his mouth. He can feel the head of his cock brushing on the back of the boy’s throat. “Jungkook.”
The younger man pulls out with a pop, lips red and wet with spit. His shaky eyes try to focus on Namjoon’s face. “Was it good?”
“It was amazing,” Namjoon leans forward to kiss him. “Now lay back so I can prep you.”
Jungkook does so, sighing softly. “I don’t think I need much prepping, I wasn’t being just a tease when I said I fingered myself thinking about you a couple days ago.”
“I’ll love to see you doing that, but in another occasion,” Namjoon pours the watermelon flavoured lube on two of his fingers. “Cause right now I really wanna do it myself.”
Jungkook chews on his bottom lip, a beautiful shade of pink colouring his cheeks as he spreads his legs open. Namjoon takes it as an invitation and circles the boy’s perineum, watching Jungkook let go of his lip and frown, waiting.
When he pushes his middle finger inside, Namjoon finds almost no resistance at all, which indicates Jungkook was being serious about mastubating himself thinking about him.
That only adds more fire to Namjoon’s body.
“Does this feel alright?”
He thrusts in and out a few times before adding another finger, curving it to rub against Jungkook's prostate, making him gasp and squirm a little. Namjoon quickens the pace, heat curling in his lower stomach as Jungkook gets louder, needier.
“ Hyung ,” he moans. “Namjoon…”
Namjoon hums softly and pulls his fingers out carefully. He turns his head to look for the condom as Jungkook pants heavily.
“I’ve never been good with opening these packages,” he admits with a chuckle. He puts the condom package between his teeth and pushes the tip, ripping it open. “Oh, well, looks like we’re in luck.”
“The universe really wants me to get fucked tonight,” Jungkook smiles, breathless.
“You can get really dirty mouthed when you’re horny,” Namjoon mutters as he rolls the condom on his dick, the friction making him shiver.
“Can’t we all?” Jungkook licks his lips. “I have this theory.”
Namjoon moves closer to him, kissing nis knee, inner thigh, and belly. Jungkook chuckles and touches Namjoon’s face, pulling his head up. “What theory?”
“When we’re horny we tend to say and do things we wouldn’t in any other scenario,” Jungkook wraps his legs around Namjoon’s waist, his feet resting on the lower of Namjoon’s back. “And me in particular, I say things and get so red, and when I remember them later I just whine in embarrassment.”
“You don’t need to feel embarrassed with me,” Namjoon kisses him, sucking on his bottom lip. Jungkook whimpers. “Whatever you need, however you want to get off, you can talk to me. Ask me. Okay?”
“Okay,” Jungkook’s fingers are on Namjoon’s hair. “Now, please , fuck me.”
“How do you feel?”
“You said you have moments, that sex depends on your mood. So, how do you feel?”
Jungkook smiles. “At ease.”
Namjoon pecks his lips quickly and takes a hold of his cock, pressing the tip to Jungkook’s hole and pushing in slowly. The boy frowns again, and Namjoon waits. “Does it hurt?”
“No,” Jungkook shakes his head. “More.”
He complies, feeling heat engulf him as soon as he pushes more, half of his length now inside of the other man. Jungkook moans more once again and Namjoon presses until he’s fully seated inside of Jungkook, a dragged out moan escaping from his lips at the sensation.
Namjoon kisses him, tongue curling inside his mouth as he starts to move slowly, letting Jungkook get used to his length. The boy’s legs press on Namjoon’s back, like he’s holding him in place.
“Hyung, I feel so, ah, so good,” Jungkook purrs against his lips as Namjoon fucks into him. “You give it so good.”
“You take it so good ,” he sees himself saying, and Namjoon’s not much of a talker in sex, but Jungkook appears to like it, and he doesn’t mind trying. “So good for me, baby.”
Jungkook throws his head back, arching his body and meeting Namjoon’s thrusts halfway. “ Your baby, only yours.”
“Mine,” Namjoon agrees, lips kissing every inch of Jungkook’s sweaty skin.
He feels his orgasm building up, too much stimulation and anticipation for him to be able to hold it inside long. Namjoon tries to control his breathing, angles his body so he can rub Jungkook’s prostate with every thrust.
“Fuck,” Jungkook grunts, hands falling off Namjoon’s hair and covering his face instead. “ Faster .”
“I thought you said you were at ease,” Namjoon teases him, making Jungkook groan. “Okay, babe. Faster .”
Namjoon thrusts hard and fast, heat spreading quickly through his bones at the shameless moans coming out of Jungkook’s lips. He takes the boy’s aching and leaking cock on his hand and pumps his fist, building a steady rhythm.
He fucks into him, his cock brushing over Jungkook’s prostate with every deep thrust, the soft crack on the bed mixing with the wet sounds of skin slapping against skin.
“ Hyung, ” Jungkook howles over and over again, like it’s a mantra. “ Hyung .”
“Don’t hold yourself back, baby, come on,” Namjoon breathes out, starting to lose pace as his orgasm approaches.
Namjoon can feel his entire body pulse – with want, desire, happiness, excitement, and maybe–, maybe something more. Something bigger.
He looks down at Jungkook, the way his face is completely given to pleasure, how little moans come out of his lips at every sharp thrust, the previous hyung now replaced with his name .
Namjoon. Namjoon. Namjoon.
He dives in to kiss the boy again, losing rhythm almost completely, but he doesn’t care, because Jungkook’s lips are so sweet , and Namjoon has never felt so right, so good, about anything in his life.
“Jungkook,” he purrs against his lips. “Baby, come on.”
Jungkook cries out a moan, cum splashing on both of them.
He thrusts a few times as the boy comes out of his high, but the discomfort on Jungkook’s face tells that the overstimulation is too much, so Namjoon pulls out.
He takes off the condom, wraps it and throws it on the ground.
“You didn’t cum,” Jungkook complains, body limp next to him. “I wanna hear you cum.”
Namjoon takes Jungkook’s hand and guides it to his throbbing cock. Together, they jerk him off.
“Fuck,” Namjoon moans once he orgasms, painting both of their hands white.
Jungkook grins, pushing his body up to kiss Namjoon’s shoulder, neck, cheek, lips. “This was amazing.”
“Yeah, it was,” Namjoon chuckles, holding him closer. “I’m so tired.”
“I don’t wanna take a shower, but I’m not that gross.”
Namjoon bites his cheek jokingly. “Let’s go, babe, and then we can spoon to sleep.”
“I love the way you convince me to do things I don’t wanna do,” Jungkook laughs, standing up.
It’s almost 10am and Namjoon sadly comes to the conclusion that his stomach can’t take being unfed anymore, so he pulls his arm away from Jungkook’s hold and squirms out of bed.
He’s only in his underwear, so he grabs one of Jungkook’s shirts and moves out of the bedroom with as little noise as possible.
Namjoon has no idea if there’s food in the apartment, but he sure as fuck hopes so, because he’s really hungry.
“Morning,” Taehyung mutters from the couch as Namjoon was making his way to the kitchen startling the older man. “Jesus, it’s just me, no need to look like you saw a ghost.”
“You scared me, that’s all,” Namjoon chuckles, the momentary panic fading out. “Why are you up so early?”
Taehyung has a mug on his hands and he sips the drink before saying, “Didn’t sleep.”
Namjoon sees the pot of coffee on the counter and breathes relieved, taking a mug for himself and pouring the hot drink inside it.
“I take the night went well, then.”
“Yeah, I’d say everyone in this apartment fucked in the last twelve hours,” Taehyung grins and Namjoon chokes on the coffee. “Oh, come on, you have songs about blowjobs. ”
“You write one song with one lyric referencing blowjobs, and nobody can ever let that go,” Namjoon clicks his tongue, not sure if he should stay and chat more or go back to Jungkook’s room and wait for his boyfriend, holy shit, to wake up so they can have breakfast together.
Taehyung tilts his head, the signature boxy smile displayed on his thin lips. Namjoon likes him a lot; he’s easy going, funny and kind-hearted, exactly the type of person Jungkook deserves to have as best friend.
“Hoseok-hyung’s amazing,” he says. “He asked me out again even before we parted ways.”
“I’m happy for you,” Namjoon takes a sip of the coffee. It’s not as good as his, but it’s alright. “Jungkook and I are officially dating.”
Taehyung scoffs, “It has been official for weeks, y’all just stupid.”
Namjoon laughs and decides to sit on one of the chairs surrounding the kitchen table.
“You know, since Jungkook lost most of his sight he’s become a different person,” Taehyung licks his lips, eyes trained on his mug. “Not essentially, cause he’s always been good and kind and funny, but… In general.”
The boy bites his lower lip, lost in thought for a second, a hint of a smile on his face, like he’s just remembered something warm.
“I don’t know if he told you yet, but our boy used to be a man’s whore. Like, he went around ,” Taehyung chuckles. “And he wasn’t really an asshole , but he also cared a lot about the exterior. When you download Grindr, you’re not really looking for anything besides the size of one’s dick.”
“Obviously,” Namjoon takes a long gulp of his coffee.
“It took him a while to… adapt, in not having this visual aspect anymore. He got a job, a job he really loves, and he stopped caring about futile things. He also stopped sleeping around, but he did that even before becoming legally blind.”
Namjoon thinks back to when Jungkook said he slept with his travel mates and wonders if Taehyung doesn’t know that, or simply is talking in a different context.
“He stopped being a man’s whore, yet he still didn’t really believe in… well, he didn’t want to have someone,” Taehyung looks at him.
That’s new. Namjoon didn’t know that. Jungkook has never mentioned it.
“So when he met you, I was kinda expecting him to just brush it off, tell you he didn’t want to be a burden, like he told a few others,” Taehyung rolls his eyes. “But he never did. Like, not even once . He never seemed unsure of anything. He’s embraced it since the very beginning, and I guess–, I guess that’s when you know you’ve found it. Even it you weren’t looking for it.”
Namjoon doesn’t know what to say to that, so after a few seconds of embarrassing silence, he takes another sip of coffee. Taehyung smiles to himself.
“And with that, I’ll go to my room and sleep like I deserve,” he stands up. “I know it’s cliché for me to say this, but I’ll say it anyway.”
“What?” Namjoon raises one eyebrow.
Taehyung puts his mug on the kitchen table and one hand on Namjoon’s shoulder. “If you hurt my best friend, I’ll hunt you down and cut your balls off.”
“That’d hurt,” he chuckles, frowning.
“Yeah, so don’t,” Taehyung winks and moves away, closing the door to his bedroom a few seconds later.
It didn’t take much longer after that for Jungkook to wake up.
Namjoon had stayed on his phone, breathing slowly, trying to gather his mind around the fact that he is now someone’s boyfriend. No. Not someone. Jungkook’s. He’s Jungkook’s.
The boy blinks a few times before his eyes get used to the light inside the room, and then he smiles, hand reaching for Namjoon, caressing his naked tummy for a while without saying anything. Namjoon’s right hand goes to Jungkook’s messy hair, while his left keeps typing the long message he’s sending Seokjin.
“What time is it?” Jungkook wonders after a few minutes.
“Past 11,” Namjoon answers, chuckling when his boyfriend groans. “Yeah, we slept a lot. Taehyung’s home, by the way. I think he slept with Hoseok.”
Jungkook sighs. “You think?”
Namjoon smiles, sending the text and dropping his phone on the bed, body lowering until he has his face close to Jungkook’s. “I know, actually. He was all smug about it.”
“That’s TaeTae,” Jungkook licks his lips, moving closer. He travels his hands through Namjoon’s face, a small smile playing on his thin lips. “You know, I don’t really touch people’s faces a lot, I think it’s a bit rude, and honestly, weird. But I wanna touch yours all the time. Wanna memorize you.”
“Tell me what you can feel,” Namjoon whispers.
“You have dimples when you smile,” Jungkook says, fingers on Namjoon’s cheeks. “Thick lips, but that I already knew. I felt them against mine.”
Namjoon leans in and kisses him quickly. Jungkook giggles.
“You have a small nose, like mine,” he continues, touching and touching and touching. “I like your ears.”
“My ears? Is that a new pickup line?”
“I like everything about you,” Jungkook chews on his lower lip, eyes shaky, fixing on nothing. “Hyung, can I ask you something?”
“Of course, baby,” Namjoon caresses his cheek.
Jungkook moves even closer, kisses Namjoon’s dimpled cheek. “I know releasing songs is a big deal, and you’re a big deal, and your company’s a big deal, but… Do you think we could release the song on my show? It’d mean so much to me.”
Namjoon kisses his hand. “I’ll talk to my boss. Ok?”
“Thank you, hyung,” Jungkook hugs him tightly, and they just stay like that for a while, breathing each other in.
Namjoon doesn’t remember the last time he felt so happy. So complete. He’s in love, and he thinks Jungkook is too, even if he never planned on settling down, even if he never wanted a boyfriend. He thinks Jungkook feels the same. He hopes he does.
His phone buzzes, and Jungkook kisses his neck. Namjoon turns around just a little to grab the device and check the message. It’s from Seokjin.
Stop being so poetic and go have sex again.
Ps: i’m really happy for you!
Namjoon breathes out a short laugh.
“What?” Jungkook wonders.
“Seokjin-hyung,” he explains. “I sent him a text telling him about you, and why I felt so insecure. About this idea I have sometimes that I don’t deserve love.”
“Can you read it to me?”
Namjoon freezes for a second.
“I mean, if it’s too personal, you don’t have to, but I’d like to understand,” Jungkook kisses his neck again, nuzzling by his side.
“Okay,” Namjoon licks his lips. “I’ll read it.”
He goes to the beginning of his long message and clears his throat.
“Seokjin-hyung, I hope you’re well. I know it’s been a while since I reached out, and the last time we spoke, I told you I was afraid of falling. You told me I shouldn’t let my greatest fears rule over me, and I took your advice. Believe it or not, I kissed Jungkook in the middle of a parking lot, in the rain. Yeah, just like the movies,” Jungkook chuckles at that. Namjoon continues. “Since then, we kissed more than a handful of times, and I asked him to record my song. A song that I was only able to finish because I met him. And yes, it is scary. It is overwhelming. But I like what I feel, so I’ll keep feeling it.”
Namjoon feels calm, Jungkook’s breath against his arm, just as calm.
“Last night I asked him to be my boyfriend, having absolutely no idea he never wanted one,” At that Jungkook raises his head, deep frown between his eyes. Namjoon blushes. “Taehyung told me.”
“Oh,” Jungkook mutters. “Well, yeah, I never did, but I wasn’t thinking about that at all. Like, it never even crossed my mind to run away from you.”
Namjoon smiles before pressing a kiss to his forehead. “I know.”
“Continue,” Jungkook says before lying his head back on Namjoon’s arm.
“Last night I asked him to be my boyfriend, having absolutely no idea he never wanted one,” he repeats. “And he said yes. In the most Jungkook way, but yes nonetheless. I remember feeling lonely for a long time, hyung, even when I wasn’t alone. Fuck, I wrote a whole album about that. I walk around my life thinking I don't deserve love because I made mistakes, and even if I know we all make mistakes and can learn from them, sometimes I feel I never truly forgived myself for mine. However, in this very moment, lying in bed with Jungkook, I feel okay. I don’t know if it’ll last, or how long it’s gonna take before I fall again. All that matters is that right now, I’m okay. And it’s raining, it’s raining so much. But I’m not afraid of it anymore. I like the rain. It means I’m clean. Thank you, hyung.”
Jungkook kisses his arm. “You write so beautifully,” he says. “It always amazes me.”
“Thank you. For everything”
“I'm so glad we met, hyung.” They kiss. Jungkook smirks. “Morning sex?”
Namjoon laughs, kissing him. “You’re impossible.”
“And we’re back, owls!” Jungkook says, smile bright on his face. “I hope tonight you’re feeling good, because I have a surprise for you, but not until after this next song! Right now, please enjoy Lullaby For a Cat by Epik High.”
Namjoon watches his boyfriend as Jungkook closes his eyes and listens to the song he just put on, completely given to the feeling. He’s so beautiful. Namjoon’s so happy. So happy that he can share his life with someone so amazing, and so passionate about everything.
“Oh, that was good, wasn’t it?” Jungkook clicks his tongue once the song is over and Namjoon bites his lower lip. It’s happening. “So, like I said, I have a surprise for you. About two months ago, I went into the studio, and recorded a song by the request of one of my favourite artists of all time. Yeah, I know! Pretty cool. And after I begged him to let me release it here first for you, tonight is the night! From the bottom of my heart, I hope you like this.”
The radio show host takes a deep breath and Namjoon wishes he was inside the studio with him to hold his hand and tell him it’s okay.
“Sung by me, written by RM and produced by J-Hope, here’s Euphoria,” he finishes before pressing play.
It’s almost immediate.
Everyone loves it. Social media goes insane. They’re wondering who is Jungkook. His photo is all over Twitter in no time. Trending topics. iTunes, Youtube, Spotify, Apple Music. He’s on top of all.
“This is fucking insane!” Jungkook exclaims, laughing. He’s holding a bottle of beer and Namjoon’s pretty sure he’s gonna spill it out on the floor eventually. “I didn’t think this would happen, to be honest, it’s 6am!”
“It’s not 6am in America,” Jimin argues, sipping at his own beer in a much more composed manner than Jungkook. “Uh, it’s such a good song, Kookie! I’m not surprised people love it.”
“My best friend is gonna be famous!” Taehyung laughs, throwing his body on Hoseok, who just burps. He’s had three bottles of beer, and that’s more than enough to make Hoseok drunk. “You think you’re gonna have fansigns?”
“Oh, shut up!” Jungkook snorts.
Yoongi licks his lips, getting a little more comfortable on Jimin’s lap. “I don’t think he’s joking.”
“It’s Taehyung, of course he’s not joking,” Seokjin argues, folding one of his legs on top of the other. “Namjoon, please, grab me another bottle.”
“Sure,” Namjoon says coming back to the living room and handing the beer around before pulling Jungkook up and whispering, “Can I talk to you for a second?”
“Sure,” his boyfriend says softly before following him to his bedroom.
Namjoon has thought a lot about what he’s about to ask Jungkook, but that doesn’t mean he’s any less nervous. He doesn’t know if it’s gonna be too much, if they’re moving too fast after going so slow for so long. But he would never forgive himself if he never even proposed it to him.
“Do you think you can get a month vacation from your job and go to Europe with me?” He blurs out all at once, afraid he’d never say it if he didn’t do it like this. “For the last leg of my tour.”
Jungkook arches his eyebrows. “I-”
“It’s okay if it’s a lot, I understand, but I needed to ask.”
Namjoon feels his throat close, panicking rise up quickly.
“No, it’s not a lot, hyung, don’t worry,” Jungkook grabs his hands. “But do you think people won’t find out we’re together if I go with you?”
“Come on, this is Korea,” Namjoon snorts. “Everyone looks the other way.”
It’s sad, he knows. But it is the way it is.
“Okay,” Jungkook nods. “I’ll think about it.”
Namjoon breathes out, relieved.“Thank you.”
Jungkook leans forward and hugs him. “I can’t believe our song is on top of iTunes.”
“I can,” Namjoon mutters against his ear. “It’s your voice, and people adore songs about love, and the beginning of something new.”
“Do I what?”
Jungkook holds him tighter. “Love.”
“Of course I love, baby,” he whispers, suddenly nervous again. “I love more and more everyday.”
His boyfriend breathes slowly, hands travelling through Namjoon’s back.
“If I say yes, do you promise to describe the places for me? I don’t wanna miss anything.”
“Yes, I’ll describe the Eiffel Tower with as much detail as possible,” Namjoon kisses his cheek. “And all the other places, too, just for you.”
“Then yes, I’ll go to Europe with you,” Jungkook agrees and Namjoon almost screams in excitement. “ If my boss allows me to!”
“Oh, he will,” Namjoon assures him.
Jungkook giggles. “Don’t go using your famous rapper influence on her!”
“What other advantages do I have being famous?”
“Flying first class? Eating good food? Travelling to beautiful places? Playing to crowds of thousands?”
Namjoon clicks his tongue. “You made some good points.”
They end up never going back to the living room to stay with the other boys, but that’s okay. They’re laughing, and planning their lifes together - however long that turns out to be. And for what it feels like the first time in his life, Namjoon's not worried about the future.