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And all of the above

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Heartbreak is a particular thing. Some people don't experience it. Some people only pretend to not experience it. Heartbreak is different for everyone. But for me, it's really fucking hard.

The nights I pretend to not be bothered when Jungkook went on and on about the girl he had met at that damn dance class are the nights I wish I had somewhere to be. But the truth is, when Jungkook caught me making a mistake on an old friend's lips, all of the guys stopped actually talking to me. Other than Taehyung, of course. But he's my brother, we share an apartment.

If it weren't for Taehyung, I'd never have to see Jungkook. I'd never have to watch the way that everyone avoids me like they weren't once my friends. My only friends. When Jungkook broke up with me, and especially because the reason was cheating, it was a silent break off of everyone else's relationships. It's only been a week since the night it happened. But yet, Jungkook has been over three times since then.

My brother came home that night that Jungkook broke things off, spotting me on the couch and immediately drilling into me about what the hell I was thinking. He even dared to compare me to our dad, a cheating bastard. I didn't speak much after that.

This week has been nothing but easy, and Taehyung hasn't said anything about that night. He mostly acts like nothing happened, but the distance between us is nearly tangible. What he said hurt a lot, and i haven't felt well enough to properly speak to him after the internal pain I try to brush off. I haven't spoken to Jungkook either.

Whenever I hear rustling at the door and Jungkook's unmistakable voice muffled by the walls, I make sure to hide in my room, turning the light off so that they'll think I'm asleep, even at eight. It's painful, to suffer alone, but I have no right to ask for help. I may not have kissed back, but i let him kiss me.

"Are you busy?" My brother's deep voice wafts through the door. I close my laptop, figuring I could use a break anyway, and open the door.

"No, what is it?" My voice comes out quietly, cracking between speaking and whispering.

"Can we talk?" He looks down, only for a moment, before flickering his brown eyes up at me.

"Sure..." I step aside, holding the door open and closing it once he walks into my dim room and sits on my bed. I slowly move across the room, unsure of what to do with myself. It must be something serious, or else he wouldn't have come in and sat down. God knows he doesn't want to just hang out, there's far too much tension for that lately.

"I just..." He begins, hesitancy clear in his voice. "I guess I want to say sorry. I mean, I'm sorry for bringing dad into that argument. I've been thinking about it ever since and I know that it was a little harsh. I'm still mad, about what you did. But I'm your brother and your roommate, so we have to get along well." He looks down, playing with his fingers.

I look down, hoping my tears aren't noticeable that way. "Oh..." I whisper, deeply focusing on not making my voice quiver. Something about this seems wrong. It feels like it's forced and that distance is still there. Or maybe Taehyung just doesn't know what to say and how to say it? I wish he would do something. Hug me, grab my hand, smile at me, tell me he loves me. But I've always been the one to care for him, and maybe now, he isn't sure how to care for me.

Or he's still ashamed of me.

A deep silence passes and I'm almost positive I can hear Taehyung's mouth open and close while he looks for something to say. But he doesn't say anything.

"Isn't Jungkook here? I don't want you to keep him waiting too long..." I trail off, gathering myself best as possible. Through the silence, I can hear the faint scratching of Taehyung's scalp.

"Y-Yeah, right, I should probably just go back in there. I-I'll talk to you later?" He asks, rather than states.

"Yeah," I mumble, swaying in the middle of the room as I watch him quietly leave, the click of the door as my permission to collapse on the bed and laugh bitterly at the situation.

Chapter Text

The coffee shop has been especially busy lately, but it's been a good distraction from everything else. Jungkook doesn't come here anymore, though. It's funny how he was once my distraction, and now I do anything and everything to think about something other than him.

I quickly pick up the cup and tray that was leftover, listening to the ringing of the bell at the door. Snaking my way through the space, I finally reach the counter and greet the customer after ditching the dishes in the sink.

"Hi, what can I get you?" I speak in my voice that's specially reserved for customer service without even glancing in the direction of the person on the other side of the counter. By the time I finish tying my apron, the voice sounds and I recognize it perfectly.

"For someone who works in customer service, you sound thrilled to see me." I whip around and, sure enough, there stands Yoongi. I let a small smile grace my lips at seeing my best friend. Or ex best friend, who knows. I haven't even seen Yoongi since the night Jungkook left me, but I know he knows what happened. He has to.

"So, are you going to take my order or not?" He leans on the counter, a sly grin I remember well decorating his face. I scoff and turn to the machine.

"I already know what you want. You get the same thing every time." And even with my back turned to him, I can feel him smirking and practically see the glint of amusement in his eyes.

I turn around after finishing his coffee, only half surprised that he's still waiting at the counter instead of at a table. Quirking an eyebrow, I slide his drink to him. He starts to pull out his wallet, but I shake my head. Yoongi raises his eyebrows in question but I just wave him off.

"Don't worry about it. On the house," I wink with the smallest of smiles. He chuckles and finally picks it up, taking a sip and nodding in approval.

"Thats good," He traces the cup with his bony fingers. "Think you have time for a little break?"

I glance into the hallway, where I can see the other girl who works here pouring various drinks. I face him and nod, quickly undoing my apron and walking around the counter.


"So, what the hell happened with you and gguk-ah?" He asks after only a few minutes of silence, and sharing his coffee with me. I huff, feeling foolish for thinking he wouldn't bring it up.

A few moments pass before I speak up, "Is that why you came here?" I look up at him through my thick lashes.

A small huff of laughter escapes him before he replies, "Well maybe I would've come to just visit you if you called me after whatever happened. Hell, I was convinced that you wanted nothing to do with me, or any of the other guys after what happened with gguk-ah." He raises his cup to sip coffee, still staring at me.

"Yeah... I could say the same thing," I mutter bitterly, staring at the table now.

"What?" He asks, his tone just barely offended.

Swiping my nose, I sit up straight and throw my legs to the side of the chair, preparing to get up. "I should get back to work." I stand, barely pushing in my chair and heading for the kitchen.

But then Yoongi's hand is wrapped around my wrist, making my body jerk and turn to face him. His brows are turned downward a bit, his eyes darting around my face as if he's studying me. I just stare back at him with a blank expression.

He takes a deep breath and huffs it out, "I don't even really know what the hell happened between you and gguk-ah, but I'd never just drop you like that. You know me better than that, Violet."

The sound of him using my real name makes me still, contemplating on what to say. He usually calls me by my nickname, so much so that I'm surprised his brain even remembered to call me by my name.

"Yoongi..." And there it is, that look he gives me, and I know that whatever he wants out of me, he's gonna get it. Because I already want to sit down and tell him everything, how sad I feel, how much I miss my brother, how much I miss Jungkook, that I could really just use a fucking friend right now but I don't let it all spill out. Breathing deeply, mostly to control my emotions and not cry in front of Yoongi, or in public, like a baby, I look him in the eyes.

"You probably should get back to work, but call me when you get off. You still have some explaining to do," He says, but softer now, his hand holding my wrist rather than grasping it harshly like moments before. I avert my eyes and nod my head, slowly pulling away from him and disappearing into the kitchen. The ringing of the door sounds a good ten minutes later and I spot the blur of Yoongi's black hoodie passing the window of the shop.

 

Every day when I come home, It's a routine. Throw my keys on the counter, put my jacket in the closet, grab a water, walk into my room and throw my shoes off in the nearest corner, finding purchase at my desk to study. I'm on break, but like hell I'm going to allow myself to fall behind when college is hard enough already.

Not even an hour later, someone is opening my door without so much as a knock. Spinning around in my chair, I'm surprised to see Yoongi's slender figure stepping into my room like it's his own.

"Yoongi--" I watch him stride over and sit on my bed, barely even acknowledging that I'm here, or more importantly, that this is my room. "Please, come in."

And at that he finally smiles, dropping his unbothered act. "Sorry, but you left me no choice. You never called me when you got off of work."

Taking my bottom lip between my teeth, I dart my eyes away and turn back to my desk. "Yeah, well I don't really feel like talking if it's about Jungkook. That's all anyone wants to talk to me about anymore."

I can hear a sigh from across the room, one that resembles a parent dealing with their small child. "Violet," He calls, and there it is again, my real name instead of my nickname. Reluctantly, I turn my head to look at him. "I know you don't want to talk. But you need to. Stop acting like I'm a damn stranger and tell me what happened between you and gguk-ah."

I ponder it for a moment, and then I decide, fuck it. I miss my best friend and it sure as hell won't hurt to finally talk about everything. I sigh, getting up from my desk and flopping onto the bed next to Yoongi, my face pressed into the sheets and Yoongi still sitting up like nothing happened.

"I fucked up, Yoongs..." I mutter into the mattress.

Yoongi hums, "So I've heard." And there's a pause. "Care to explain?"

Then I'm sitting up to look at him, and, yeah, it all just comes out.

Chapter Text

I was only a little annoyed to hear someone at the door this late, but a piece of me was hoping it was jungkook. But, when I finally opened the door, it sure as hell wasn't Jungkook. My ex boyfriend of eight months was standing there, a pained expression on his face. I hadn't seen him in weeks, only ever speaking to him in our shared classes when it was absolutely necessary.

"K-Kai?" I asked, though, obviously it was him in front of me. My mind couldn't process why the hell he would show up unannounced at my door so late.

"Hey, doll." I flinch at the name but he continues, "I'm sorry for showing up like this, but I could really use an old friend right now."

So many alarms were going off in my mind. Jungkook would be here soon, Kai is my ex, the term 'old friend' didn't sound safe coming from his mouth. But still I contemplated.

"Um... w-what happened?" I ask blindly, unsure if this is all some joke because it seems utterly ridiculous.

"My girlfriend," He says with a sad smile, "well, ex-girlfriend now."

His eyes are fixed on the ground. My mind is completely blank, so I say nothing, until he sniffles.

He's... crying.

He's fucking crying.

'What the hell do I do?' I panic internally, desperately trying to think of something to do until I hear an actual sob escape him and I let him in, cringing at the whole situation. Sure, he's my ex and I am with Jungkook now, but what the fuck am I supposed to do? This grown ass man crying on my doorstep that I once cared about; I'm not heartless.

He finds a spot on the couch, dropping down on it and covering his face with his hands. I awkwardly stand next to him, deciding it better if I just stay standing. But suddenly, he grabs my arm and cries into it, and I'm so fucking confused.

My ex boyfriend showed up at my door after weeks of not speaking only to sob about his breakup and cry in my arms, literally.

The image of it all almost makes me laugh, but I keep it in seeing as Kai is literally crying on my couch.

"I-I mean, what is it? Am I-I not enough?" He looks up at me and I don't know how the hell to respond so I stay silent, dumbfounded.

And then there's a tug on my arm and I'm tumbling forward, two hands on either of my shoulders. And... wait, he's kissing me. Yeah, his lips are on mine and I'm staring at his closed eyes.

Suddenly everything makes sense. This entire thing was either a scheme or Kai got dumped and hoped there was a safety net. And just as my wheels are turning, I can hear rustling and a small gasp to my right, finally bringing me out of my trance and I shove Kai. I'm about to yell at him but there's Jungkook, looking just as stunned as I had when Kai jerked me down to him. And I freeze. He just stares at me with the most disappointed look I've ever seen on him and that's when tears well up in my eyes and I start to panic.

"No, no, wait, Jun--"

"Fucking Kai?!" He yells, something which is so rare I involuntarily flinch.

"Jungkook, please, thi--"

"Stop," He barks, then looks at Kai, who stays on the couch with wide eyes. "Get the fuck out!"

Then Kai is scrambling to his feet and ducking past Jungkook and out of the door.

Jungkook looks away from me, tears in his eyes and fuck, he has this all wrong, I would never ever in a million fucking years--

"Why the fuck did I trust you..." He mumbles, walking into the kitchen.

"Please Jungkookie--" I follow him, pleading.

"Don't call me that, like I'm yours. I know we've been distant lately but I hoped it was just that you were busy with classes,"

"And I have been!" Tears are hitting my cheeks at this point, my chest tight with the need to explain myself.

"Clearly you haven't! You've been sucking face with other guys! I was so scared that this was what was happening but I ignored it and now look!" His jaw tightens and another tear makes it past his eyes.

"I didn't mean to--"

"You didn't mean to what? Cheat on me?" He yells, then laughs bitterly as he storms past me. He snatches his keys out of the floor and opens the door.

"Jungkook, please! Just fucking listen to me for a second!"

He turns to face me, looking the maddest I've ever seen him and snaps through clenched teeth, "No. I'm not going to listen to you. This whole thing is a joke. Have fun with Kai because I'm out." With that, he slams the door in my face.

And after that night, none of the guys even tried talking to me. If Taehyung's reaction was anything to go by, they all hated me too. I just wanted a fucking chance to explain what happened. But after a few days, I gave up, because the small part of me that knew it was my fault just took over, and I figured I deserved it anyway.


"That's everything." I sniffle, wiping my eyes and staring at the floor.

The silence grows but I hardly notice it until Yoongi is wrapping his arms around me and pulling me against him. Yoongi has never been one for hugs, and I didn't know how much I needed one until he did it, the tears flowing freely as I apologize over and over, not even really sure what I'm saying sorry for. I'm just sorry.

A few minutes of Yoongi shushing me and gently stroking my hair and I manage to calm down. I pull myself from his chest reluctantly, wiping my face and smiling softly at him. The eye contact and the sudden intimacy of the moment makes my stomach flip for some reason. I clear my throat awkwardly.

"Thank you, Yoongi."

He lightly nudges my shoulder, "Don't worry about it, Moon."

I can feel myself relax at the sound of my nickname again, his tone light and understanding. There's a long moment of silence between us before Yoongi is the one to break it.

"So... Jungkook just blew up, and left you? Just like that?" He asks, turning towards me with some look that I can't quite place.

"Yeah..." My voice accidentally comes out a whisper and I wished I just nodded.

"That doesn't make any sense... Surely gguk-ah would want to talk to you." He trails off, more or less speaking to himself as he goes over everything I just told him.

"I don't know, Yoongi. He said he was 'afraid this was happening'. I guess he thought I was cheating and when he saw that, he just cracked. I don't blame him. I was a horrible girlfriend, Yoongi. I was so busy all the time and I let so much distance come between us, he would've broken it off whether I cheated or not. I--"

"Moon," He interrupts, a serious edge to his tone, "you did not cheat."

I just stare at him blankly. "I.." my eyes flicker from the floor to him, "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?" He pauses, searching my eyes, "Moon you never kissed back, and if gguk-ah let you explain he wouldn--"

"He would have never believed me. And for a good reason. We barely even talked those few weeks before he broke up with me. We were more like friends who always said they should go out to dinner but never really got around to it, because I was always focused on other things. Cheater or not, I'm still a shitty girlfriend." I mutter, eyes fixated on my hands in my lap. What would have been the difference if I hadn't cheated? He still would have broke up with me. "He deserves better." I conclude, clearing my throat and mustering a bit of solidity.

When Yoongi doesn't respond, I look up and see a conflicted look on his face, brown eyes staring into my blue-grey ones. Before he has a chance to say anything more, I stand up abruptly and smile down at him.

"Come on, Yoongs. I wanna get out of this damn house, while i still have some time. Unless you just want to sit here quietly while I work," I joke, turning around to throw a hoodie on.

"That actually sounds nice," He yawns, stretching out over the bed. I glare at him once my head pops out of the hoodie.

"Yoongi, no. We can do anything you want, as long as I get to leave this dorm." I patiently await his answer, my eyes boring into his until finally, he sighs and pushes himself up.

"Fine. Then we're going to my studio." He chirps, standing up and already heading for me door.

"Oka--Yoongi! I'm coming, jeez." I giggle to myself as I follow him out of my room. On our way to the front door, I spot Taehyung on the couch.

"Tae, I'm gonna go with Yoongi to his studio. I'll see you later," I flash a quick smile at him, momentarily forgetting the tension thats been hanging around us lately. I subconciously take Yoongi's hand in mine as we head out into the cold weather.

"You know, you could've let me grab a jacket. It's freezing!" I squeal, wrapping my arms around myself. Yoongi shrugs.

"You'll be fine." He says. I shoot him a quick glare before splitting ways and getting in the passenger seat.

Chapter Text

"Would you stop being so over-dramatic? We're inside now, calm down." Yoongi grumbles as he unlocks his studio.

"Well I'm still freezing! If you were a nice gentleman, you'd give me your big ass coat since you seem to think it's so warm out," I sass, following him inside and finding my usual spot on the couch. It's been a while since I've been to Yoongi's studio. It never fails so calm me down, nor does Yoongi.

"Fine," He mumbles, setting down his keys and walking over to me. He pulls his gigantic jacket (which is so big for him that he looks tiny when he wears it) off and tosses it over me, my laughter hitting the inside of it. I pull it over my face so I can see but cucoon myself in it nonetheless. I take a deep breath, feeling more relaxed than I have been in while. I can smell the jacket, hell, even the studio. It all smells like Yoongi and that familiar scent alone almost lulls me to sleep.

Through squinting eyes, I peer at Yoongi. He's already made himself comfortable in his chair, signing into his computer and opening up his software. I stare at the screen, taking in how personalized it is considering it's a work computer. I wonder if he uses it for everything, if it's just like a second computer to him.

"Do you watch porn on that thing?" I ask suddenly, eyes still on the screen. Yoongi nearly chokes, looking at me in shock.

'What?! I-- Why would you ask that?" He says, his eyes bulging out of his head. I smile in amusement.

"Just curious. Plus, if I ever need to use your computer for anything, I'd prefer to not see what Min Yoongi does in his free time." I raise my brows at him, watching his blush reach the tip of his ears.

"You're a perv..." He mumbles, turning back to his computer. I finally let myself laugh at that.

"Relax! I'm just fucking with you." I manage to say after calming my giggles. Even in the dim lighting, I can see Yoongi roll his eyes. Some silence passes before a steady beat is playing through his speakers and he's pulling out his notebook. He comes over to the couch and sits at the end of it, nearly crushing my feet. But I pull them back quickly. I scoot myself farther up to give him more room and watch as that familiar look of focus sketches it's way into his face. With the soft music playing, the dim lighting, and Yoongi's cute little pout coupled with his faint scribbles on the paper, I let myself fall into some much needed sleep.


Squinting, I try to understand the ringing sound that's blasting my once peaceful ears. With a groan, I sit up to see Yoongi's number plastered on my phone screen. I reluctantly lean over to grab it and answer with a grunt.

"What?" I ask, my vice groggy with sleep.

"Morning sunshine. Are you still at my studio?" Yoongi asks through the phone.

I glance around for a moment, taking in the fact that yes, I am still in Yoongi's studio and I have no idea how long its been since I fell asleep.
"Uh... Yeah, where are you?" I stand up and stretch.

"I'm at home you spaz, you slept a solid three and a half hours." He sighs. I suddenly feel more awake.

"Three and a half hours?!" I exclaim, "Shit, Yoongi. Why didn't you wake me up and put me in a cab?"

"You seemed like you needed the rest. But it's after nine, you should go home now. Taehyung's probably worried about you." He says. I scoff and turn around to make sure I have everything, spotting Yoongi's jacket. As if Tae even noticed I'm gone.

"Yah, what about your gigantic jacket? You left it here, aren't you cold?" I ask, holding the thick article of clothing up to inspect. I can hear Yoongi chuckle.

"Ah, so now you're concerned, huh? Just keep the jacket, Moon. Do you need me to pick you up?" He asks.

"No, no, there's no sense in you driving all the way out here this late." I smile and wrap the jacket around me.

"Are you sure? I can always pa--"

"Yoongi. It's fine, you bumbling dork, this isn't my first rodeo," I giggle.

"Alright. Well, text me when you get home, or I'll worry." He sighs again.

"Sure thing father." I muse.

"Yah, you know I'm olde--"

Before Yoongi can finish, someone calls me.

"Yoongs," I interrupt, "I'll text you when I'm home and I'll be careful. Let's grab dinner this weekend so I can give you the jacket back. Bye!" I chime, accepting the other call and now realizing it's my brother.

"Hello?" He asks.

"Hey, Tae. What's up," I ask as I finally make my way out of Yoongi's studio and into the building hall.

"Where are you? It's almost 9:30, I've texted you all night! Are you okay?" He rushes. He did notice.

"Tae, I'm fine!" I laugh, "I just fell asleep. Why didn't you call Yoongi? I told you I was going to his studio."

While only half-listening to his reply, I decide maybe I could walk a while before calling a cab. "Violet? Are you listening?" He suddenly asks.

"Oh! Yeah, sorry. I zoned out a bit. I'm on my way home, but I need to call a cab. I'll be there in fifteen," I sigh, hanging up and contemplating calling Yoongi, but ending up just calling the cab service.

Chapter Text

Time merges together easily for me. Lately, I live day to day, going to work, going to class, coming home and studying, eating ramyeon and watching TV with Yoongi on the nights that I couldn't bring myself to work any more. But with Yoongi by my side, It's easier to relax and let the days fly with a satisfied smile on my face after a long day of hard work, rather than count every day and waiting for it to end like I did after me and Jungkook's breakup. I've not been in the house much lately, which has been better for my whole being. Taehyung and I are mostly back to normal, but neither of us want to address our fight that's now weeks in the past.

"Moonie," Taehyung calls through the door.

"One second," I yell back, finishing my thought for the essay. I jump up and open the door.

"What's up?"

He smiles a bit, "Remember bowling?"

Ah, I do. Before this relationship between me and Jungkook got between us, I used to go bowling with everyone. It's how I met all of Taehyung's friends. They needed another person because of the uneven teams, but we all ended up hitting it off and calling each other friends only a few days after introduction. Bowling became a regular pastime for us, and I found myself looking forward to every Friday shortly after meeting them. That was a year and a half ago, and the tradition only lasted about a month before it died out. But we still always found time for each other.

"Yeah, of course." I say, studying his face, "Why?"

"Well... Do you wanna go with everyone? I mean, we really wanted to go but, you know, uneven teams. Plus, it's different without you." He looks at the ground shyly. "Jungkook will be there..."

I sigh. I'd love to go and see all of my friends together for the first time in weeks, but it all depends on how Jungkook feels.

"Well," I start, "tell me, is Jungkook still angry? Upset? Does he get put off when he hears my name? I can be perfectly mature, as long as he can."

Taehyung seems to ponder it for a moment, then replies, "I don't think he's exactly ready to get a cup of tea with you and reminisce, but everyone misses you and we'd love to go for a proper round of bowling. Please?"

I sigh again, a small smile making it's way across my face. "Fine," I give Tae's shoulder a playful nudge. He smiles.

"Yes! Okay, I'll tell everyone," He starts to leave.

"Wait, you dummy! When is it?" I ask.

"Oh, right, It's tomorrow," And with a quick box smile he vanishes around the corner.

"Aish, he didn't even tell me what time!" I mumble to myself as I go back into my room.

 

The feeling of soft lips ghosting over my collarbones calls for goosebumps to raise up and down my limbs, something like a gasp leaving me as the pair of lips nip at the soft skin of my chest. Two bony but soft hands slide down my thighs until they're resting at the pit where they bend, pulling me flush against their pale skin.

My eyes open when they pull away, I find myself staring into the eyes of someone I had never expected.

Yoongi.

"Y-Yoongi?" I squeak, watching his dark eyes travel my exposed body. Without giving me a response, he crashes his lips onto mine all the while lining himself up to me. The last thing I feel is his breath against my ear.

Then I'm shooting up, eyes wide as my fingers grip the sheets and I adjust to the darkness.

No Yoongi.

That does nothing to calm my nerves. I flop back onto my back and stare at the ceiling while my mind runs a million miles a minute.

'What, the FUCK? What was that? Why Yoongi? That's never happened before! Why the hell would I dream that?

Why did I like it?'

I shake my head furiously and turn on my side, swallowing a lump in my throat and pressing my thighs together in an attempt to ignore my arousal. 'There's no way,' I think to myself, 'that I'm getting off after a wet dream of my best friend.'

Though uncomfortable, I force myself to sleep eventually, several thoughts still weighing heavy on my mind.

 

In the morning, I wake up feeling oddly dissatisfied. I eventually chalk last night up to not having sex in a month or two. Yoongi is the only guy that I get physically close with that isn't Taehyung so it must just be natural, right?

Chapter Text

I worked a shorter shift today, but stayed busy as always. I left early so that I wouldn't be late meeting everyone at the bowling alley. Unfortunately, my calculations were just a bit off as I only had about ten minutes to get ready once I got home. I ran into the laundry room and opened the dryer, throwing on a hoodie that I'd give back to Tae later, and a pair of ripped jeans as well as some sneakers.

I rushed to the car while tying my hair in a ponytail. I smile to myself at the familiar hoodie in the tiny mirror as I get in the car.

When I get to the bowling alley, I'm a little surprised to see that only Taehyung, Namjoon and Seokjin are here and I suddenly feel foolish for rushing here in the first place.

Taehyung looks up from his shoes and spots me, a grin stretching across his features. "Moonie!" He calls, waving me over.

I giggle faintly and snake past a few people and benches before I finally reach them. He gives me a quick side hug and chirps, "You better choose your team carefully this time."

I raise my brows, "Oh yeah? Well, either way, I'm ready to kick some ass tonight."

Namjoon's deep chuckle kisses the air and I turn to where he and Jin sit, my face burning with slight awkwardness. I haven't seen or talked to them in a long time, since the break up. The sheer thought of the situation between me and Jungkook compared to the lightness of the current moments makes the awkwardness grow thick between us.

But maybe it's all in my head, because Jin is standing up and giving me a suffocating hug that a father would give to his daughter after a triumph.

"J-Jin-ssi! Cant b-breathe!" I giggle and wheeze until he releases me, an amused smile on his face.

"Sorry Moonie, I had to." He pokes my arm before sitting back down. I glance over at Namjoon, who sends a warm smile my way. I can't help but smile right back.

"How have you been?" Namjoon asks.

"Okay, a little stressed since classes are starting back up." I tilt my head a bit and set my bag down next to the bench.

"She barely comes out of her room when she's studying," Taehyung pipes.

Before I get a chance to send a snarky reply Taehyung's way, I hear voices behind me. I turn around curiously to see Hoseok, Jimin, and Jungkook approaching our little spot we've made for ourselves.

I only hear Hoseok's dramatic gasp before I'm being yanked into yet another hug of death. I try to wiggle my head out of his chest and over his shoulder so I can at least breathe, choking out a "Hi hobi".

He releases me and grasps my upper arms with his hands. Behind him, I can see Jimin beaming just as much as Hobi.

In that moment, they looked like this:

=D

"Moonie!" Jimin smiles so brightly that his eyes turn into little crescents, "how are you?"

I fondly smile back at him as a soft hand rests comfortably on my arm, "I've been okay! Yoongi has been making sure I don't overdo things like always."

I hear a cocky 'mn' from the other set of seats and whip around, only now noticing that Yoongi has come through and made himself comfortable. I send a glare in his direction before turning back to Jimin.

"Well, stop being so busy. We miss you," Jimin pouts and feigns sadness.

I only roll my eyes, already used to his antics, "Whatever, you just miss someone bringing you food at the studio," I tease, giving him a quick nudge before turning around in search for the shoes.

I spot them in a pile next to Seokjin and I immediately go for them. I reach out once I find the pair meant for me, but someone seems to have gotten the same idea because our hands lightly collide. I smile and look up only to be met with Jungkook's slightly wide eyes.

"Oh, sorry," I breathe out, my smile faltering but returning immediately, and quickly pull my hand back, "go ahead."

Jungkook seems to study me for a moment before turning his attention back to the bowling shoes, his movements hurried and almost annoyed. He doesn't take long to find the pair his size and stands all the way up as soon as he can, making his way over to Seokjin and Namjoon.

I sigh, only audible to myself, and pull my shoes out. As I'm lacing them up, Taehyung calls out to me.

"Moonie, which team?"

I look up, observing the two teams, one sitting on the lefthand seats and the other on the right. On the left, Jungkook, Seokjin, and Namjoon sit. On the right, Yoongi, Taehyung, and Hoseok. Me and Jimin are the tie-breakers.

I look over at Jimin, who does the same. We share a somewhat competitive moment before I break our silence.

"I want the team on the right," I answer mostly to my brother, but hold my eye contact with Jimin. His eyes narrow a bit.

"Well I want the team on the right too," He challenges, cockily crossing his arms.

"Alright, let's settle this. Two out of three?" I grin at Jimin, who can't help but let a smile of his own make it's way onto his face. He sets something down and walks up to me, still cheesing. "Ready?" He nods. "Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

My paper covers his rock.

"Yes!" I smile wide, throwing my arms up and laughing just a bit.

Jimin rolls his eyes but he's smiling when he says, "Uh-huh, don't get too confident now. Two out of three noona," He says mockingly.

"Right, right. Let me have my moment you punk." I tame my smile a bit. "Alright. Rock, paper, scissors, shoot!"

His scissors cut my paper.

"Dammit!" I rasp, barely heard over Jimin's triumphant "Ha!".

"Language!" Taehyung nags me.

"Aish, let me be. I'm older than you anyway." I say absentmindedly over my shoulder and quickly turn back to Jimin. "Don't worry, I'm gonna get you this time."

Yoongi's sigh can be heard from behind me, "Do we have to do this every time? If someone is going to be the tie-breaker, the last people you want are Moon-ah and Jimin-ah. They always do this," He grumbles, but there's a sort of fondness in his voice that I can't help but smile at. I don't reply, though.

"Rock,"

"Here we go--"

"Paper,"

"Would you hurry up--"

"Scissors,

Shoot!"

His rock crushes my scissors.

Jimin immediately squeals and excitedly hops over, plopping himself right next to Hoseok. I shake my head but am happy, nonetheless. It's always a dramatic competition of who wins the choice of their team, but it's all in good fun, no real bias between us. Only, this time, I would much rather be on the team that wasn't with my ex boyfriend.

But, I will not let it affect me, not even a little bit.

I politely smile at Jungkook as I sit, the only available spot being next to him. He just looks away, acting as if I wasn't there. I shrug it off and watch as Yoongi gets ready to go first.

The other group finally finishes all of their turns, and from our team, Seokjin volunteers to go first, courageously. Now that some time has passed and everyone has gotten some "liquid courage" in their system, we're all moving more freely and I find myself laughing easier.

Jin stalls, lifting up the ball to inspect it and testing it's weight before Hoseok finally calls out, "Jin hyung, just go!"

With an amused "alright, alright", Seokjin pulls the ball back, taking those few steps forward before rolling the ball down to the pins. We watch as the first strike of the night is made, and I gasp excitedly before jumping up and bouncing around with Jin in celebration.

"Bow to your king! Your eldest is the greatest!" Jin calls out, gesturing out to everyone.

We may be overdoing it tonight, but it's been a long time since we all did something like this. It's only necessary!

Eventually, my turn rolls around (get it? Rolls around? As in bowling-- okay you probably get it, continue) and I pull the ball up to my face, taking a deep breath. I swing it back, and then I'm leaning forward, rolling it down the alley with finesse. I watch expectantly as it seems to swerve to the right a bit, knocking almost all the pins down. But who am I to get disappointed? I suck at bowling!

I turn to give Yoongi a high-five, even if he isn't on my team, and he cheers out a "That's my girl!"

I vaguely hear someone scoff but something at the end of the alley catches my eye before I can think too much about it.

One of the pins is wedged perfectly against the side of the pit at the end and the floor, not moving an inch. My eyes dart to the screen where it reads that the pin is still there. My mouth hangs open, "What? But, look at that! It's on the other side! I'd never be able to get it."

Taehyung suddenly chimes, "Too bad! Looks like--"

"Noo," I whine, "that's not fair! I hit it, it just got stuck. That's cheating," I pout.

"Says you," Jungkook's unwavering voice sounds from behind me almost immediately. I turn around, but he's staring at the ground and doesn't look up to meet my gaze. I can already feel my cheeks burning and I suddenly want to shrivel away, but I swallow thickly and try to turn my attention back to the alleyway.

"Um," Jimin awkwardly pipes up, trying to lighten the suddenly thick-with-tension-mood. "just go for the other pins. Who knows, one of them could knock into it and you could get a good score!"

I smile at him, nodding, but mostly in reassurance for myself. I roll the ball once more.

It doesn't knock down all the pins.

Chapter Text

I can only watch as Yoongi plays with his pizza, barely even touching it or eating any. I know I can't scold him, not in front of everyone. I just get worried about how he's eating; he never seems to have an appetite.

"Uh, Moon-ah? Did you hear me?" Hoseok pulls me out of my thoughts. I whip my head in his direction and smile sheepishly.

"No, sorry, I zoned out a bit. What did you say?"

He smiles back, "I asked how your journalism class was going."

I nod, perfectly ready to ramble. "It's good. I thought it would be difficult working with other people on a writing assignment, but it's going surprisingly well. I got a little more confident because the other people in my group told me I was a tentative writer and that they could trust me so--"

"You? Tentative? That's a first," Jungkook scoffs out, taking a sip of his drink. Hotness spreads on my cheeks and I look down at my plate, tucking the stray hairs from my ponytail behind my ear.

"I've been looking for that, you punk," Yoongi suddenly says, as if Jungkook had merely ceased to exist. He gestures at me, and I look down at myself, thoroughly confused.

He must see the confusion etched onto my features because he speaks again, "The hoodie, that's mine. I swear you've stolen half of my wardrobe by now," He jokes.

"Oh," I laugh, "oops. I thought this was Taehyung's, but I probably would've still worn it even if I knew it was yours," I grin cheekily. He shakes his head but there's a small smile dancing on his lips.

"Nobody respects their elders around here, do they?" He glares in my direction.

"You're like, less than a year older than me." I roll my eyes and raise my pizza for another bite.

"No, don't say it like that. I'm almost a year older than you. See? That sounds better," He nods along with his own point and I can't stifle a laugh at his antics.

"Yoongi, what do you want from me? Should I start calling you oppa?" I tease mischievously.

His eyebrows raise immediately and in his shock, someone speaks up on my right, "Don't let her rope you in, hyung. Been there, done that." Jungkook says bitterly, not making eye contact with anyone. And yet again I want to shrivel away from the situation, which is much unlike me, but I can't help it with the way Jungkook talks so badly about me, like it's second nature and he doesn't even have to think.

I audibly swallow and put my pizza down, appetite lost.

"You better not ever call me oppa, or else I might have to terminate our friendship," Yoongi warns, once again as if Jungkook said nothing at all. Though it's strange, I thank him in my mind because I don't know if I can get any more embarrassed.

"You would never," I pause, "oppa."

"Aish, that's it, I'm not driving you home," He shakes his head. My eyes grow wide.

"Wait wait wait, you know I'm just playing," I coo, "I'm just--"

"God, I have to go. I can't listen to this all night. I'll see you guys later, It's late and I have class tomorrow. Goodnight," Jungkook nods to everyone before slipping out just like that. Even if they don't, it feels like everyone has let out a breath of relief. Except for me of course, because my pride is suffering a bit and I try to not let it get to me.

"Well, Moonie, I also think we should go ahead and head out, since you have class tomorrow too." Yoongi declares, standing up and tossing his plate in the trash.

"Yeah, probably. Well, bye guys! Thanks for everything, I had a lot of fun. I missed you all," I frown a bit, glancing between everyones faces.

"Bye Moon-ah!" Seokjin chirps, "Next time, you'll be my opponent," He claims dramatically.

"And we can be on the same team," Jimin smiles sweetly and my heart melts a little before my friends, so friendly and loving.

"Of course! Thank you guys. Bye!" I bow and then wave at them with a smile on my face as Yoongi leads me out of the booth and outside, to his car. He swoops my hand in his as we walk through the parking lot and I'm thankful for the contact; it does something to calm my nerves about how Jungkook had talked tonight.

Suddenly, flashes of the dream last night come spiraling from the depths of my mind where I had tried so desperately to lock them up. But his hand around mine, no matter how innocent, sends those memories barreling right into my face and I nearly shiver with guilt. He looks up, genuinely confused when I pull my hand away from him. I can feel my cheeks burning, and I can already picture the crimson that surely floods them.

Yoongi doesn't speak on it, but I can feel his silent questioning. I get in the passenger seat, quickly doing my seat belt and staring out the window as Yoongi gets himself comfortable. He starts the car, pulls out of the parking lot, and starts to drive without a word.

But that can't last forever, because he's sighing, "I don't know what Jungkook's problem is. I mean, who gave him the right to talk to you that way? I wanted to sock him in the face just once to knock some sense in him or something."

I don't say anything, mostly for a lack of words.

Yoongi glances briefly between me and the road before speaking again, "He needs to learn to be mature. Every chance he got he was taking it to make you seem like a shitty person." Yoongi stresses.

But he isn't wrong. Jungkook took little jabs to my pride any time he could, without relent all night. I'm thankful for Yoongi and everyone else, who were all usually quick to steer away from the situation by distracting me or Jungkook, or just pretending it didn't happen and carrying on with whatever they were doing. If it weren't for them, I think I would've lost my mind on Jungkook within 20 minutes.

"Moonie," Yoongi calls. I reluctantly turn my head to him for the first time since getting into the car. His side profile is so beautifully outlined by the glow of the passing street lights as well as the lights on the dashboard and such. He's got one hand resting on the gear stick, bony and veiny, quite a sight to behold in the dim lighting. He just looks so pretty and so sexy at the same time and I'm tempted to just lean over and--

"Yah, are you going to talk to me or just stare? You really are a spaz sometimes," Yoongi huffs.

What the hell was I thinking just now?! I wanted to kiss him! What's wrong with me? Okay, calm down Violet, it's just Yoongi, no need to be afraid, right?

"S-Sorry, um," I search my brain for a response, any response.

"Are you okay?" Yoongi looks over again, a crease between his eyebrows.

"I... yeah, I'm fine." I swallow thickly.

"You look nervous."

"What? No, I think you just misread. I'm fine, really!" Somewhere in the back of my head, there's a voice chanting 'shutupshutupshutup!' again and again but I can't push away the image and idea of kissing Yoongi. What it'd be like, if he'd kiss back, how soft those pink lips--

Yoongi parks the car in the building's parking area, turning to me with a raised brow. "You're being weird," He says, unbuckling his seat belt and opening his car door. I shake my head at myself.

'What is wrong with me? Why am I getting so nervous? I'm acting like some teenage girl in a romance novel! Get it together Violet.'

"Sorry," I say sheepishly once I'm out of the car and following Yoongi up to the dorm.

There's a bit of silence and he doesn't speak up until we're in the elevator, "Is it Jungkook?"

I want to say, 'Jungkook? Who's that?' seeing as I haven't thought about him once since I got in the car with Yoongi, but I don't. I laugh at my own thoughts, though.

"What's so funny?" He turns to me, but a grin is slowly making it's way onto his face as he watches me laugh wholeheartedly.

"Nothing," I breathe out through some giggles, "And no, it's not Jungkook. I'm fine, really," I smile at him and rest my hand on his arm in reassurance, feeling much more relaxed than I was in the car.

He gives me a questioning look but there's a smile dancing on his lips as he stares back at me. Some stillness, silence, falls on us and we just stare back at each other. My breathing comes to a stop when all of a sudden, It feels like the world has frozen into solid ice around us and the only space and time is here, now, in this little elevator, with my hand on Yoongi's arm and his eyes staring back at me so fondly I can't help but be whacked by the impulse to kiss him again.

I almost do, I'm seconds away from leaning in when the elevator dings and the doors open noisily. Both of us jump at the commotion and my hand automatically retracts from Yoongi and I hold it to my chest. My face suddenly goes hot as I realize what I was thinking, what I was feeling for my best friend in that moment. And the moments before that, including that dream last night. It all comes rushing to me so fast that I think I might be dizzy.

Do I have feelings for Yoongi?

Chapter Text

I sigh, and sigh again, as I watch the clock tick down. I have nothing left to talk with my group about, and any real work can't possibly be done in this room, so noisy, people crowding me with their ideas and questions, as if I was assigned to be some sort of leader. That was never a part of the project, but yet, it seems that everyone has found it perfectly fine to hold me responsible for the project and look to me for directions.

Our professor finally calls out, 5 minutes early (thank god), and dismisses us, shouting out a few phrases of commandment to work hard on the assignment even if his voice is barely heard over voices and shuffling as college students pour out of the room.

I walk through the hallways, narrowly avoiding anyone who might speak to me. Today, I would rather just go home and watch TV and consume more food than you would think humanly possible.

I finally make it to the bus stop, barely in time to catch the current one. I hop on, quickly swiping my card and heading for the first open seat fluidly, having done this a million times before. But the scanner makes a noise, and the driver is quickly calling to be before I've even passed the first set of seats.

"Ma'am, your card has insufficient funds." He sighs.

Dammit. I knew I forgot to do something yesterday, and that was to put money on it.

"Oh, okay, uh one second please," I bow politely and quickly pull my bag off my shoulder and unzip it, thrashing my hand inside as I search for my wallet.

'Where is it? Surely I didn't forget it...'

"Please, if you cannot pay, step off the bus. You are holding everyone up," The driver says impatiently.

I just sigh, accepting my fate. "Sorry," I bow to him and then to some people behind me in apology for delaying the trip.

I step off of the bus and pull my phone out, quickly calling Yoongi. I watch some students laughing and walking together from afar as it rings. But by the time the students have reached the library, the ringing stops and Yoongi's automated voicemail box cuts in.

"Dammit," I mutter to myself, ending the call and dialing Taehyung's number.

It also rings a few times and I'm almost afraid he won't pick up either until he finally does, "Hello?"

"Hey," I sigh, "where is Yoongi? He didn't answer his phone." I glance around me. It's odd for Yoongi to not pick up, especially if I'm calling. I usually don't call him unless I actually need something, and he knows that.

"Oh, Jimin said he seemed sick when he left the apartment. He might still be at home, but he could've gone to work. Why do you ask?" A sudden thud sounds on Taehyung's end, and I recognize is as the familiar shut of our trashcan.

"I'm on campus. I don't have money for a bus, apparently. Could you please come pick me up?"

It's not too long, maybe a little over 20 minutes, until Taehyung pulls up to the curb. I stand up and walk up to his car, sending a grateful smile his way once I get in. We exchange a quick conversation about each other's day and such, before I watch him nearing the familiar stop sign.

"Wait, could you drop me off at Yoongi and Jimin's? I wanna check on him, and I need to give him back the charger I borrowed from him." I watch as Taehyung eyes me.

"I thought you said you don't have money for the bus." He raises a brow.

I roll my eyes, "I don't, but I'd be close enough to walk. Besides, I don't think there's a proper bus route that I could take anyway," I persuade.

He eventually gives in, turning the wheel to the right instead of left, and I smile widely, "Thank you~! You're the best."

"Mmhm," He hums, smiling in a way that says 'yeah, whatever'.

We finally make it to Yoongi's apartment, well, Yoongi and Jimin's, and I hop out excitedly. I turn around before shutting the door to thank Taehyung again.

"Yeah, yeah, I hope he isn't home and you came here for nothing," He remarks, causing me to laugh,"Now go, close my door, you're letting the cold air in."

I throw the door closed, wearing a smile as I make it all the way to the stairs, but eventually it fades and I can feel the tension between my shoulders from the long day knawing at me. I'll make Yoongi order me some warm food.

I knock on the apartment's door, waiting patiently. A couple minutes pass until I pull out my phone, calling Yoongi again. I suddenly hear it ringing through the thin door, and I frown as I listen to it ring, but nobody picks it up, nor opens the door.

I panic a little, worried that there's something horribly wrong as my mind begins playing scenarios of disastrous possibilities. I end the call and shove my phone in my pocket, throwing my manners out the window and punch in the code to unlock the door. My movements are frantic, hoping that something hasn't happened to Yoongi.

A few moments pass after I press the last digit and then the door clicks, indicating that it's now unlocked. I twist the handle and open the door without ceremony, stumbling into the familiar apartment as fast I can. My eyes immediately land on Yoongi, who is on the couch.

Asleep.

And his phone, was ringing in the other room. He stirs a bit, either at the ringing or at me barging in, before falling back into stillness and his precious sleep.

I roll my eyes at the idea of my dramatic thoughts, when Yoongi was just sleeping peacefully.

However, as I approach him, I notice a sheet of sweat resting on his forehead and neck, his lips slightly parted. And from this distance, I can hear his uneven breathing. I think, half delirious, that he looks amazing, and I wouldn't mind being tangled up with him like that--

"Oh my god," I say under my breath, pinching myself as punishment for thinking such lewd things about my best friend, who is also probably sick. "I need to get laid," I mutter, aware that if Yoongi didn't wake up to that loud-ass ringing, he won't wake up to my quiet voice.

I frown as my hand comes in contact with his forehead, hot and sweaty, but that much I could tell from the way the tips of his bangs darkened and thinned. I walk to the end of the couch, noticing that Yoongi doesn't have a blanket on him, and is only wearing a tank top and some shorts. It's a rare attire on him and I would tease him about it later if it weren't for the fear of getting choked up at his exposed, pale thighs.

"That can't be good for your fever," I say idly. I reach for Yoongi's feet and sure enough, they're freezing. I sigh, "What am I going to do with you?"

Yoongi grimaces in his sleep, clearly uncomfortable, and squirms just a bit, the crease between his eyebrows showing no signs of leaving. Packing up my stress and tension, I turn my focus completely to Yoongi and on getting him well.

I get a wet rag and gently wipe up the thick sweat that coates his face and reach what I can on his neck, being ever so gentle and quiet as to not disturb his rest. I then grab a thick blanket and tuck it around his lower half to bring the fever down from his head. I search for the medicine cabinet, then search inside the medicine cabinet, until I finally find some medicine to help with the fever. I carry the water and medicine into the living room where he still lays, having shifted some at the added heat of the blanket. I simply tuck it back in, knowing his symptoms will only get worse if the fever manifests in his head. I wrap my cool hand delicately around his nape and use the other hand to gently shake his shoulder.

"Yoongi," I call, "Yoongi, wake up sweetheart. Wake up," I smile sweetly as his eyelids slowly open. He just stares at me for a moment, brown eyes half lidded. Then he seems to understand what's happening, because they open all the way. His eyes are red and a little glassy, and he's looking around like he's in a dream.

"Well, morning sunshine," I say softly, not wanting to be loud and startle him. He doesn't respond, just glances around everywhere with those sickly eyes. "Sit up for me," I say, scooting back from my spot on the edge of the couch. I keep my hand on his nape to encourage him forward. It takes some struggling but he finally pushes himself up to a sitting position.

I twist to the coffee table and pick up the cold up of water and hand it to him, watching as the perspiration on the outside of the glass clings to his bony hands. He swallows down several big gulps, and I almost pull the glass back in fear that he'll drown on it. But he lowers it eventually, wiping his water mustache away with the back of his hand.

The water seemed to wake him up because he rasps out, "When-- how did you-- Why are you here?" He finally manages out, whether its his sickness clouding his train of thought or the genuine confusion of waking up to see my face like that.

I laugh airily, "You weren't answering your phone and then Jimin apparently thought you looked sick so I was worried."

I can already tell he wants to make some cocky remark to shoot back at me so I go ahead and turn to grab the pills I got earlier. "Any allergies I don't know about?" I quirk a brow. He shakes his head so I grab his hand and motion for him to hold it open, carefully placing them in his palm. He doesn't question them, just holds them for a few seconds before throwing them back and swallowing them down with some water.

"Look at you, taking care of yourself without any complaints!" I chime, taking his glass and setting it on the coffee table.

"I'm too sick to complain. You just take care of me like always and I'll shut up," He slurs, resting his head against the back of the couch. My heart beats against my chest at his words. 'It's just the fever talking.' I tell myself, calming my nerves, and not sure why I got so flustered at something so small.

I look down to see faint patches of sweat around the edges of his top, I wrinkle my nose, "Have you had a shower today?" I ask, the cringe in my face coming out in my voice. Yoongi only grumbles under his breath, new little beads of sweat appearing around the frame of his face. I take his response as a no, and decide a hot bath would do him some good.

I walk into the bathroom and lean over the tub, turning the nob and testing the water until I find the perfect temperature with his fever in consideration. I plug the drain and my eyes begin raking over the little details of the bathroom as I wait for the tub to fill. I figure the ocean breeze shampoo must be Yoongi's, since the smell is closer to his actual scent than the other set of hair products, mostly labeled as vanilla. My guess is, Yoongi is ocean breeze and Jimin is vanilla.

I snort at my accidental pun before shutting off the water and pushing myself off the edge of the tub. When I make my way back into the living room, Yoongi hasn't moved an inch. "Yoongi-ah," I call at him. He shifts a little bit, and I know he's awake, but he doesn't want to get up.

"Come on, Yoongi. I ran a bath for you, like a housewife and everything." I nudge his shoulder and he finally opens his eyes.

He mumbles something incoherent and I almost ask him to repeat it but I don't bother. I lean over him and grab his arms, pulling lightly to encourage him to sit up. He does, slowly and reluctantly, and not without a grunt of protest.

"Okay," I breathe out, "now just follow me to the bathroom," I try to coax him to stand.

A moment of silence passes and he looks up at me with his glossy-from-sickness eyes and murmurs, "Can you help me?"

My heart hurts a little at his vulnerable gaze. Who am I to deny that?

I slide my arm around his waist and tuck my shoulder in his armpit, his own arm draped over me.

I make it into the bathroom with him like this and carefully let him slide out of my arms until he sits on the toilet lid.

"Alright, you've got it from here. Take as long as you want. If you need anything just call for me, I'll probably be in the living room." I sigh and peer down at where he sits on the cold surface of the toilet lid.

He nods, but his gaze lingers as if there is some question that rests on the tip of his tongue. He doesn't say anything, though, and I eventually leave the room and plop down on the couch.

About ten minutes go by before Yoongi is calling for me. I go to the door and call out, "What is it?"

There's quite a bit of silence before he brokenly says, "I need your help again."

My heart melts on the spot and I open the door, spotting Yoongi on the same spot as I left him. Except now, his back is pressed against the bowl and his feet are planted on the tile. He's sweating much more now, as well as huffing out little pants. His hands lay limp at his sides. "What's wrong?"

He hesitates very strongly, not looking me in the eyes as redness spreads to the tips of his ears, "I-I... can't get undressed."

He's so quiet and looking everywhere but me that I almost completely lose the sound, if it weren't for the dead silence of the bathroom. I freeze, my cheeks heating up as well.

"U-Um," I stammer, "You need me to help you get undressed?"

Yoongi seems to grimace at the idea as well, "I know, it's weird, but I--"

"It's only weird if you make it weird," I blurt out, mentally setting myself on fire afterwards.

His brows jump in surprise even in his sickened haze.

I allow my eyes to rake over his figure. He seems to truly be struggling, a telltale miserable look swimming in his eyes as he's sprawled out on the toilet lid.

"I mean, I can help you," I clear my throat and try to calm my nerves, "H-Here, scoot forward some."

He looks at me questioningly but does as I ask. I reach for the hem of his tank top with shaky fingers but he suddenly squeaks and pushes my hands away. "W-Wait, you can't just--" He pauses, searching for what he wants to say, "You have to cover your eyes or something," He rasps out, sickness lacing his voice.

"Oh!" I jerk my hands back to myself nervously, "Right, sorry. I'll close my eyes, just guide my hands," I smile tightly, my stomach churning.

He squints his eyes at me, "I don't trust you. There should be a headband in that droor over there, you can blindfold yourself with it."

I roll my eyes and turn for the droor, "Why the hell wouldn't you trust me? I wouldn't peek," I smile smugly, but only half-meaning my words.

"Uh-huh," He says, before breaking into coughs. I finally fish out a headband and pad back over to where he sits. I kneel down on the floor so that I'm eye-level with his chest and slip the headband over my face, tugging slightly to make sure it covers my vision.

"Can you see anything?" Yoongi asks, unsure.

"No, Yoongi. Stop making a huge deal out of this and just guide my hands," I sigh and hold my hands out for Yoongi to grab. Yoongi sighs too, but a shaky and nervous one.

I'm freaking out too, just on the inside.

His calloused fingers wrap around my palms and pull them until they reach fabric. I curl my hands around it, assuming it's the hem of his tank top. I lean forward a bit to reach as I pull it over his head and drop it on the floor next to me. Without thinking, I reach for the band of his shorts, but he quickly smacks my hands away.

"Yah! You can't just go-- you know, r-reaching for things! Especially in t-this position! You look too non family friendly," Yoongi pants out, voice higher than usual and I can't surpress a laugh, despite furiously blushing with embarrassment.

"Sorry!" I smile and search for him before remembering I'm blindfolded, "But it's not my fault you're a kinky man!"

I briefly wonder if the situation has had any affect on him, as I probably present a lewd image right now, on my knees, blindfolded and reaching for what I now assume was his crotch. I shake the idea off, though, knowing that he probably doesn't see me the way that I've been seeing him lately.

Yoongi grumbles something before grabbing my hands harsher than before and leading them to his shorts. It doesn't go unnoticed as he guides me to the outside of them where they rest on his hips, far away from where I previously reached.

My fingers clamp down on the material and slowly pull them down as Yoongi lifts his hips slightly to help. He's panting, as if all of this little movement has exhausted him.

'I should call a doctor for him.' I think idly. When my fingers brush his bare legs, goosebumps rise on my skin and my face flushes at the realization that Yoongi is right in front of me, with just boxers on.

I suddenly choke at that, dropping Yoongi's shorts to pool around his ankles as I turn away from him to cough a few times.

"I hope you're not getting too worked up from the skinship. You've still gotta help me get my boxers off," Yoongi says nasally, his nose clogged but sounding oddly confident compared to a few moments ago.

If I weren't blindfolded, I'd glare at him.

"Whatever, let's just get this over with," I breath out, ashamed of how much this is getting to me. His chuckle transitions into a fit of coughing of his own until he manages to calm himself

I reach my hands out as I impatiently wait for him to guide them. He does, thankfully, to the thin material of his boxers. My breath hitches, and I know he heard it in the stillness of the bathroom, but I'm already dipping my fingers past the hem of his boxers and slowly pulling down. I'm suddenly very aware of how heavy I'm breathing and how hot the room has become.

I finally pull the clothing past his ankles, exhaling a breath that I hadn't known I was holding. Yoongi sniffles some and his nose sounds completely clogged. I carefully stand up, my head going a bit dizzy with either arousal or embarrassment; or both.

I shakily reach for the counter and jump slightly when my hands come in contact with the cold surface. I feel along it until I reach the wall, able to open the door from muscle memory. I don't speak a word to Yoongi, just leave hurriedly and shut the door behind me with uneven breaths.

Chapter Text

Quiet chatter and the distant sound of wind filled up any inch of silence and the dim street lights set a dreamy glow on the entire street; it felt like home, and that feeling settled at the bottom of my stomach. I sit with my coffee in hand and my butt comfortably seated on a concrete slab along the narrow street. My eyes follow different people, with different lives, doing different things. It somehow puts my heart to ease in times when work from classes start piling up or I can't get enough shifts in at the coffee shop to make ends meet. I'd call Yoongi to spend this time with me to make it even more enjoyable if he weren't part of my stress. Well, not him necessarily, just how I feel about him.

Min Yoongi.

Lately I've been thinking his name like a mantra, like it's all I know. I've been thinking and re-thinking every little thing that has occurred in our friendship to lead me up to this point.

How do I feel about him?

It's a plaguing question, really. Although, that was why I went for a walk in the first place: to clear my head and relieve some tension.

Sex is also a great way to relieve tension.

I decide that maybe I should call up Jimin or Hoseok and see if they know about any parties that I could go to and meet some people, maybe get wasted like the bitchin' college lifestyle ensues. I smile to myself. I've barely partied since last year, my first year, here at this college. It's been studying, sleeping, hanging out with the same people again and again, and occasionally going out and treating myself to an expensive meal. College has made me a middle-aged woman, if anything.

Jimin's phone rings a few times before he picks up, "Hello?"

"Jimin-ah!" I chirp, "I hope you're not busy, I just wanted to ask you something."

"Not at all. What's up?"

"I was just wondering if you knew of any parties coming up that I can get into with no problems. I need to blow off some steam," I sigh and take a long sip of my coffee.

"Ah, I see. Well, a friend of mine is throwing one in his nice ass penthouse this Thursday. I can give him a call if you want?" He offers.

"Please," I pipe, "You're the best Jimin. I'll buy you ice cream next time we're out, yeah?"


My plan unfortunately backfired.

Here I am, just past the door of the penthouse where the lavish (but college student-themed) party is being held by Jimin's dear friend. I look pretty hot, if I do say so myself, and I spent quite a long time getting ready so it'd be a big waste to think I looked bad. I made it a good 15 minutes into the party when I was so politely interrupted.

I smile warmly at the boy next to me, pleased with his ability to hold a conversation.

"Moonie," A stern and familiar voice calls to my right, giving me no time to respond before a hand is wrapped around my arm and another is pulling my drink from my fingers. I'm being dragged from the couch before I can so much as question it. I look up to see the back of Yoongi's head (yes, I can recognize him from the back) as he pulls me around the corner.

"Yoongi, what the fuck?" I hiss, not regarding my volume. "Why are you here?"

"I could ask you the same thing. Why are you at a party like this?" He says, a serious edge in his voice.

"Because! I want to have just a little fun for once." I cross my arms and glare at him.

"The guy you were talking to, the one with the black hair? He's your idea of fun? All he wanted to do was get in your pants," He states matter-of-factly.

"So what if he does? Maybe that's what I want too!" I nearly yell. In this moment, I can't say I know why I'm getting so angry, but there's something that's getting under my skin.

Yoongi seems puzzled for a moment before he finally speaks again, "What are you talking about? That's nothing like you."

I ignore him, "How did you even know I was here?"

"Jimin mentioned it. And why are you looking for some random hook up?" He stares at me expectantly.

'Because I think I might have feelings for you but I'm hoping I just need to get laid.' I want to say.

"You're not my dad, Yoongi," I whine, "And I'm not a kid. I'm a grown ass woman and if I want to hook up, I'm gonna. Why don't you just stop worrying about me so damn much!" I snap, annoyed at the way he seems to think he needs to control me and make decisions for me. In the back of my mind, I know it's the drink or two paired with the stress as of late but I force it back and let myself get mad.

He stays silent for a few seconds and I don't wait for him to find the words. I simply turn and storm off to find the guy that I had been having a pleasant conversation with before Yoongi so kindly dragged me away.

A few minutes later, I spot Yoongi walking down the hallway and leaving the penthouse.


I honestly couldn't tell you exactly how I got so drunk, but it was either between the aggressive shots after my fit of anger directed at Yoongi or the countless drinks I had been poured by different people as a conversation starter. All I know for sure now, is that I'm so drunk I couldn't walk 3 feet without losing balance, and that's why I'm resting my weight on a boy whose name I haven't gotten yet, as he shoves his tongue down my throat and we stumble to his pretentious-looking car in the parking lot.

I remember his hands fumbling with the car door and keys before he mumbled "Fuck it," against my lips and opened the back door. I remember him letting me fall against the seats as he crawled over me and his hands slid up my blouse. I remember the slam of the door. I remember visualizing the way my moans hit the roof of his car, distant and empty. I remember wishing, in some twisted and sick way, that Yoongi had stayed and convinced me to leave and that he was the one on top of me, that it was his skin against mine instead of this stranger's.

I don't, however, remember anything after that.

So when I wake up in my own bed, after piecing together bits of last night, I suddenly wonder exactly how I got here. I sit up, seemingly too fast because when the blood rushes to my head, it begins to pound and the light peeking from the curtains seems just a little too bright. I press my palms into my eyes until the throbbing of my nerves settle a bit before very carefully standing up and making it out of my room. I'm still in my clothes from the night before, just a lot more disheveled and with no traces of makeup on my face. The cold flooring against my bare feet is too much for my half-asleep and hungover brain to handle so I take it slow. I come around the corner of the hallway and spot Taehyung, comfortably laid across the couch with his phone in hand and undoubtedly playing the newest episodes of One Punch Man.

"Tae?" I rasp out, taken aback by how groggy my voice actually is.

He snaps his head up and smiles, but the raise of his eyebrows has a hidden meaning. "Why hello there dear sister," He says.

Oh no.

"Why aren't you at work?" I ask, squinting from the sensitivity of my eyes as I sit on the love seat across from Taehyung.

"I called in. I wanted to make sure you were fine when you woke up and besides, it was really late when I had to come and get you. It's not like I would've gotten much rest before I had to leave for work anyways." He sighs, pausing the show and setting his phone down.

I look up at him with an apologetic smile, "Sorry."

He sighs again, "It's alright. It's not like you do stuff like this all the time. But, Violet, come on. That was dangerous. You're lucky that guy was decent and called me from your phone. Otherwise, he could've done whatever he wanted with you," He scolds.

"What?" I tilt my head.

"I don't know what happened when you were with him, but when I got there you were passed out in the back of his car. You have to be more careful, Moon-ah. Sadly, someone young and pretty like you is a big target. I know you don't want to be lectured by your younger brother so that's all I'll say. Oh, and call Yoongi. He seemed upset after he went to see you." He finishes, picking his phone back up and resuming his precious episode of One Punch Man.

Yoongi.

My stomach is set with unease as I slowly recall the fight between us. Guilt bubbles in my throat as I wonder how the hell I'm going to explain myself to him.

What's worse is how it hits me that I had wished, though drunken and desperately, that Yoongi was the one I was with. My best friend.

I groan into my hands and let out a dramatic sigh. Maybe this isn't just a sexual fling.

Maybe I really have feelings for Yoongi.

Chapter Text

My day had boiled down to another one of waiting, watching the clock until I'm able to be dismissed, catching only half the things in my lecture. I hustle out of the room and I'm already pulling out my phone and calling Tae by the time I've passed the doorway.

I was mad.

I'd found that sweet spot of being not too angry that it radiated off of me like some repellent, but being annoyed enough to not let that little spark die and have myself forget why I was mad in the first place.

Yoongi.

After I tried to apologize to him at his apartment, he dodged my calls, stayed home when me and the rest of the guys went out, and didn't drive me home like he often used to. It went on for a little over a week and needless to say, I was pissed. He's my best friend! I miss him, and it hurts to be ignored by someone you care about this much. He had no problem taking Hoseok to lunch on Monday and going to the movie theater with Taehyung and Jimin. But he couldn't shoot a text my way? I couldn't help but think he was overreacting just a tad. Sure, I was an ass that day, but I tried to admit to it and apologize. He just wouldn't let me.

So here I am, stepping out of my brother's car and taking long strides up to his apartment. I pound on the door without ceremony and listen tentatively for signs of life. I know he's home, Jimin just left for work not even 15 minutes ago and he said that he was laid up on the couch on his computer.

A few minutes pass and nobody answers the door, so I dial his number instead. It too, gets no answer.

I hope he knows that he's only adding fuel to my fire.

"Yoongi! Open the damn door before I open it myself!" I cross my arms and tap my foot impatiently. I'm just about to angrily punch in the code when the door swings open. The first thing I notice is how he's dressed.

Yoongi's clad in all black, a short T-shirt giving room for me to admire his veiny arms and hands and his skinny jeans that are ripped at the knees, the contrast between the material and Yoongi's pale skin something illegal.

My throat gets dryer and dryer before I quickly remembered why I came here.

'Snap out of it, Violet!'

"Yah! We need to talk. Like, now." I glare at him. He just sighs.

"What do you need? I'm busy."

"Oh, 'busy' my ass! What I need is to know why you've suddenly become repelled to me lately." I arch a brow and stare at him expectantly.

He hesitates a bit, then says, "I really have work I need to ge--"

"Yoongi." My voice cracks, my image of strength threatening to do the same. Yoongi flinches visibly at my feeble tone.

"I don't know..." He trails off, but I give him a moment to find his words. He doesn't, however, instead he just shakes his head to himself and begins to close the door.

I reach my hands out to stop it, a genuine look of confusion on my features. "Yoongi, please, why don't you just talk to me? If it's really what I said at that stupid ass party then I already apologized. I'll apologize again if that's what you want. I just--" I pause, "I don't understand what I did..."

I feel pathetic for tearing up, but me and Yoongi never fight like this, other than when we stopped talking after my breakup with Jungkook. But even then, it wasn't really a fight. We just stopped talking for a while.

And call me silly, but with the new feelings I've been having for him lately, it feels like he's been slipping through my fingertips and this isn't doing much to help.

His eyes seem to soften some at my glassy ones.

"Violet..." He begins, "It's not--it isn't your fault. You didn't do anything, per say, I just, I have some personal stuff going on."

Okay, ouch.

"...Personal stuff? Since when am I someone who is separate from your personal life?" My voice strains. He lets up on the door, but doesn't motion for me to come in.

He stays silent so I speak again, "Just tell me what's going on."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"I can't tell you."

"Then it's about me."

"No I--"

"Yoongi just tell me dammit!"

"Would you just--"

"No! I know it's about me so you might as well just get it out there!"

"Fine!" He yells, grabbing my arm harshly and pulling me inside. He slams the door, "You wanna know why I've been avoiding you? How am I supposed to get close to you without getting hurt?!" He exclaims, tracking the look of pure confusion as it rises to my features, "Of course you wouldn't understand that, that's why I haven't told you! You could've been considerate and gave me some time but no, you had to come to my apartment and beat on the door like a mad woman! You think I wanted to fall in love with you? While you're out getting drunk and having sex with people that aren't me?! No! But it's not like I had much of a say in the matter!"

I can't will myself to move, to speak. I can only stay frozen, shocked at his confession.

Did he just say he's in love with me?

Yeah, I think-- He just--

Yoongi is in love with me?

It seems that the realization of his confession washes over Yoongi too, because his expression changes from one of anger to one of shock.

"I..." He says idly.

I swallow thickly, my heart banging against my chest so hard I fear he can hear it from where he stands.

"Yoongi--"

"I'm sorry," He rushes, avoiding eye contact. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean--I wasn't going to--"

Before he can talk himself into a storm of meaningless excuses, I rush forward and press my lips to his and close the oceans between us. Even I'm surprised by my actions, but my impulses are leading me into the unknown.

I pour my emotions into the kiss instead of a verbal confession. 'It's okay,' My fingers playing along his arms say. 'I love you too, I think I have for a while now.' My lips declare, reassure.

Yoongi freezes, tenses for a second, but it doesn't take long for him to press back against me. Goosebumps rise on my arms when he sighs into the kiss and his hands find purchase on my hips. I slowly snake one hand into his hair as the other grips at his shoulder, dizzy from his scent and his body so close to mine. His lips against my own is a feeling that I could've never prepared myself for; the way it feels, tastes, is enough to put me in a coma. I let the fact that I'm kissing Min Yoongi crash around me, and it's so encompassing, I feel more like a feather with every movement of his soft lips. A moan spills out of me against my will when Yoongi's teeth catch my bottom lip and he instantly pulls my body flush against his so I can feel more of him. Yoongi, the one I've been wanting and hoping for all this time is in my arms. Kissing me, touching me like it's the last thing he'll do.

"I want you," I rasp against his lips, bewildered by the way his fingers leave a burning trail everywhere they go.

WARNING: Smut ahead (It's fairly vanilla)

It's his turn to moan into my mouth, his hands slipping under the material of my shirt and pulling my body closer, though it's not very possible. He pulls me by my sides across the room and doesn't dare break our kiss, not even to open the door to his bedroom. He just fumbles with it blindly until he finally manages to turn the knob and push it open. The soft click tells me that the door has closed behind us, but Jimin won't be back for hours.

It's an illicit thrill to think about; that Yoongi and I are alone like this, plenty of time to feel each other without a worry in the world.

"Is this--Are you sure this is okay?" He pants.

I hum, "Yes, Yoongi. Please don't stop."

Yoongi's tongue dips between my lips and a soft moan spills around the muscle. His fingers trail farther and farther up my sides, pulling my shirt with them until I finally grasp the hem of it and pull away, though reluctantly, to toss my shirt. The kiss is brought back to life within seconds, but softer, flowing as one confession of desire for one another.

"When I went to that party," I barely manage to whisper against the soft flesh of his lips, "I wished--" His hand slips under my shorts, gently smoothing over the curve of my butt, "--that it-that it was you, instead of him--"

He pulls away from my lips and growls at my admission, hand roughly gripping the flesh of my ass and it pulls a startled moan from me. He dips his head to travel his lips along my neck and down my collar bones and my body involuntarily shudders at the feeling. "Fuck, that's so--You have no idea how long I've wanted this," He pants, breathless and hot against the curve of my neck.

I tug at his shirt and help him pull it off as I speak in a sultry voice, "Hmm, enlighten me."

Something between a grin and a smirk stretches across his face as he turns both of us around and coaxes me to lay down on his bed, and I suddenly wonder when my little Yoongi got so smooth. He watches the way I take in his milky skin, tracing his lanky arms with my eyes and absentmindedly biting my lip at the sight.

"Do you remember," He kisses my chest, "when I was sick and you took care of me?"

My face floods with red at the oddly embarrassing memory of undressing Yoongi. I only nod, not trusting my voice as his kisses get lower and lower. "When you helped me take my clothes off," My breath hitches as he presses a lingering kiss to the skin just above my shorts. "you looked so beautiful, on your knees and reaching for me. I swore you kept brushing my skin on purpose because I was so hard I considered just taking you then and there, sickness be damned," He says, voice smooth like silk as he slides my shorts down.

"Yoongi..." I whimper, subconsiously lifting my hips in search of friction. I force my gaze back onto him when he pushes my hips back down against the mattress. There's a victorious smirk playing on his lips.

"Slow down baby," I shiver at the term. "I'm not going anywhere."

His hands slide across my inner thighs, spreading them and planting wet kisses along the skin there. I sigh out of pleasure when his fingers ghost against my sex, separated by the thin fabric of my underwear. He quickly pulls those off though, and not without a nod from me as permission. I go ahead and unhook my bra, slide it off my arms and absentmindedly toss it away.

He marvels at the sight of me, fully exposed and presented to him. "I'm glad you're enjoying the view, but I'd really like for you to do something," I breathe.

He laughs airily and says, "What do you want me to do?"

He sucks a hickey into the flesh of my thigh and I whine, "Yoongi--please don't." I know what he wants me to do, but I don't want to say it.

"Can't do what you want unless you tell me what it is," He says simply, cutely, but leans so close to my center that I can feel his hot breaths. Goddamn him. My hips are itching to buck up because he's right there, but his palms stay flat on my lower stomach and remind me of some kind of authority never officially established but clearly there.

"I--okay, f-fine, please just touch me," I mewl when his soft tongue finally gives me the friction I've been craving. And damn does he know how to use his tongue. I've heard him rap before, the countless tracks he'd made and asked for me to listen to before he sent them in to his professors, but never had I expected him to have the tongue technology of this extent.

The moan he lets out against my folds feels so good and stimulates my ears simultaneously; my hand flies up to slide into his hair with a soft tug.

Much to my dismay, he retracts himself from my wet sex, and I can't stop the whine of protest. He quickly silences me by crawling back up my body and pressing a new type of kiss onto my lips, one hungry and primal. I can taste myself on his tongue, and maybe that should gross me out, but all it does is illicit another soft moan from me.

Curious and bold, I slide a hand down his chest to very slowly, smoothly, rub his erection through the material of his skinny jeans. Yoongi chokes out a high-pitched moan that sends electricity up my spine, my tongue pushing into his mouth.

"Yoongi," I ask, moan, when his hips gently rock against me. He hums in response and I whisper, "Fuck me." I squeeze his bulge.

His hips stutter against me and he makes a sound I never thought I would hear from him right into my ear, "Jesus, Violet."

He regains his composure quickly though, pushing himself up until he rests all of his weight on his knees, now straddling me. The way he looks now, is something sinful.

He's towering over me, his hair is tousled in all different directions from my fingers, his swollen lips stay slightly parted to let out tiny pants. His dark bangs fall just above his eyes, making them appear darker. But there's something else in those brown orbs, something else at odds with the lust and desire. Something like love, adoration.

My chest tightens suddenly when the reality of the situation comes crashing around me. I know I've got to say it. I've to say it before we go any further.

Ignoring his intimidating position, I scoot back some and push myself into a sitting position. I cup his cheeks and pull him into my lips for a deep, powerful kiss, shocking him a little from the change in pace. "Yoongi, I..." I pull from his mouth, smiling, and whisper, "I love you too."

His eyes shift, that emotion resting just beneath the surface that I had detected earlier rising and blooming. Happiness, contentment, a kind of feeling Yoongi has always had a hard time with. It looks like he holds the entire world in his eyes.

This time, when he closes the gap between us, it's slow. I press my hand to his chest to feel his heartbeat, the vibrations when he breathes, I focus on the way his lips caress mine so tenderly. Yoongi's always been tender, tentative, despite his tough front.

I lean backwards until my back lands softly on the bed, bringing Yoongi with me and not breaking our connection. It feels more sacred now, like we know what we have and what is happening. Our hearts rest in each other's hands and therefore, we are each other's lifeline.

I slide my hand between us and curl my pointer finger around the hem of his sweatpants, attempting to pull them down. The drawstring does it's job and I curse into Yoongi's mouth. My fingers fumble and tug but I can't get the knot undone so I whine loudly and break away from Yoongi, the little shit daring to laugh at me. "Take them off," I complain, knowing I sound childish but not really giving a damn.

He coos at me before leaning back some and pulling them clean off his body. I let my eyes rake over the newly exposed skin of his thighs in all their glory, filing the idea of riding them for another day.

Yoongi leans forward, his face back into my view, with an amused smile. He leans over to the droor and chimes, "You're staring," while pulling out a condom.

"You're too hot to not stare," I remark quickly and sit up to stop him from opening the condom. He raises his brows at me but I just smile warmly and lean forward. I attach my lips to his neck and hum into his ear, "I'm on the pill. I wanna feel you."

He makes a noise, something like a strangled groan that he tried to swallow down and drops the condom back into the droor. "You're going to kill me one day, Moon."

I smile against the skin of his neck as he guides himself over me, shedding his boxers on the way. His member pops up, swollen, hard and proud and an angry shade of red. A small bead of pre-cum has gathered on the very tip and before I can stop myself, I wrap my hand around him and pull a few times. His head drops onto my shoulder as he hisses and his hips naturally buck into my hand. I swipe my thumb over the tip, successfully gathering the pearly bead. I pull my hand back up and slip my other one under Yoongi's chin to make sure he's watching before dipping my fingers into my mouth and sucking off the substance.

Yoongi outright moans, his bare cock grinding against my entrance. I smile, satisfied with his reaction, and bring my hand back down. I wrap my fingers around him again, this time pulling his swollen cock so that he's lined up against me and I smile once more, a memory rushing back to me.

"You know, I had a wet dream about you that was like this," My voice falters at the end when he pushes his hips forward a bit, prodding at my womanhood. He chuckles, then licks and sucks at my shoulder, adding to the collection he's made tonight.

Yoongi leans back and brushes away my hair to marvel at the various marks before breathing out, "May I?"

I grin from ear to ear and nod, my fingers ghosting against his cheek. He leans down and kisses me as he pushes in slowly, gradually until he's buried himself as far as he'll go, the skin of his hips pressed against mine. I clutch at his arms as he litters soft kisses along any skin he can reach, me hissing at the stretch.

It fades eventually to a dull sting, so I chime softly into Yoongi's ear, "Please, move."

He hums and pulls his middle back some, then forward, slow and easy. A soft moan spills from my mouth and into the air at the movement, smooth and tender. "Oh my fuck, you feel so good," he moans, lets up on my chest and shoulders to press a firm kiss onto my lips. I sigh into it, my hands sliding into his hair and caressing his scalp and nape.

Yoongi's thrusts are unbearably slow, so careful and gentle that I wonder where the contrast from his personality came from. I breathe out, "Yoongi, m-more, please."

He retracts himself from my lips with a smack and wiggles his arms around until he's comfortably pressed up against me and that's when the pace starts jolting fast. He starts sheathing himself into me with more force, the 'smack smack smack' of our skin mixed with our moans filling the room. I arch my back and moan helplessly when he presses against that sweet spot inside of me, and he seems to have taken the hint, because he angles his hips towards it more and begins relentlessly pounding into my tight heat.

"Fuck, Y-Yoongi," I mewl, desperately clinging to him as he gives it all to me and whispers lewd praises into my ear.

"You're so tight, shit--" He reaches between us and I panic slightly because I know what he's going to do and--sure enough, his thumb tentatively rubs over my sensitive bundle of nerves in time with his thrusts. I gasp sharply, followed by a loud moan.

"I can't--I'm, I'm gonna," I barely manage out, my hips rolling on their own accord to meet Yoongi's thrusts and buck up into his hand.

Yoongi grunts softly, "Come on, baby. Let go, let go all over me," he coaxes as he's rapidly approaching the edge as well, so focused on holding it back to let me enjoy my orgasm.

I cum with a bodily shudder, eyes involuntarily rolling back and shaking as I give the last broken cry of Yoongi's name.

Yoongi fucks me through my high as he chases his own. I do my best to clench around him and meet his thrusts and it seems to work well because his hips stutter, lose their rhythym, as he spills inside of me with an aggressive growl. His weight falls onto me when he becomes weak with his orgasm, not that I mind, so I kiss his head and play with his hair idly.

Our breaths are in time with each other and maybe I should be grossed out from the way I can feel Yoongi's cum between our bodies, our sweat mingling together, but all it does is make me feel more content.

Yoongi eventually pushes himself up and off of me, so I take the opportunity to hold his face in my hands and press a long, sweet kiss to him before allowing him to pull out of me and go get something to clean both of us up. He returns with a cloth and throws me a shirt of his while he's at it. He climbs onto the bed and wipes at my legs, my deliciously sore entrance, and afterwards he drops a lazy kiss on my stomach which makes me squirm and giggle out, "That tickles!"

He wears a lazy, almost dazed grin as he plops himself next to me. His limbs immediately curl and tangle around me and I just let it happen, smiling fondly when he looks up at me.

"I love you," I say softly, for the second time tonight. He smiles, adorable gums on display.

"I love you more," He says, his head dropping down and fitting into the crook of my neck.

I whisper a faint, "Impossible," but he's already fast asleep, breathing softly like a baby.

Chapter Text

My face feels warm, and it only takes a few seconds for me to recognize it as sunlight and open my eyes slowly. Yoongi's mess of hair comes into view as my eyes adjust, then his body wrapped up in mine, and I'm almost confused before I remember what happened. A fond smile graces my lips and I briefly think that I could die like this, under the blankets with this big softy that I love nearly too much.

My thoughts don't last long because Yoongi speaks up, startling me with his groggy and rough morning voice as he asks, "What're you smiling about?" He tilts his head back to look at me.

But there's a small smile etched into his features too, and I can only grin wider, opting to kiss him instead of a verbal answer. He immediately presses back. We both have morning breath, it's kind of hard to kiss while both of us are smiling so hard and it's perfect. Warmth floods my chest and I reach a hand up to comb through Yoongi's hair, taming it only in the slightest. I kind of like it when it's all messy, okay?

The kiss slowly progresses when Yoongi's tongue slips over my bottom lip, and I lean over him with his leg slotted between mine. Both of his hands slide down my back and slip under my (Yoongi's) T-shirt. His hands are colder from being atop the blanket while my skin is warm, having stayed under the comforter all night. His chilly fingers illicit a gasp and a giggle from me. I squirm a bit but he continues to run his cold hands over my body, so I finally give in, taking a liking to the sensation.

"You're so warm," He mumbles against me. I laugh, wiggling my ass under his hands. Against my thigh, I can feel an erection slowly stirring to life as he dips his tongue into my mouth sloppily. I grin devilishly before grinding my thigh against him. He huffs out a moan, gets harder and harder as I dip down to kiss along his chest. I scoot myself down his body little by little, my lips press wet kisses from his collarbones to his stomach, over half of my body now under the blanket.

His breath hitches when my fingers pick up his rather impressive length, the first little bit of pre-cum making at appearance at his tip. Without even the slightest bit of regret, I lean forward and collect the pearly substance on my tongue, then use it to swirl my tongue along the head of his cock. Yoongi lets out a high-pitched moan for that low voice of his and tries to buck up into my mouth a bit. I smile a little and push his hips lightly with my palms, mimicking what he had done last night as I tease the top of his prick.

He groans under his breath and finally breathes out after a bit, "I swear, if you keep teasing me like that I'm gonna flip us over and fuck your brains out."

I smile mischievously, quirking an eyebrow and bite back, "Sounds good to me."


Even though I was half-prepared to take the day off, Yoongi insisted I go to work because what are you gonna tell them? That you have 'unability to stop shoving your tongue down Min Yoongi's throat' disease?

I had to correct him because actually, it's an illness. He laughed at that.

I reluctantly got dressed in the clothes from yesterday, not having enough time to run back to my place and get fresh ones. Yoongi stayed in bed, the brat having a day off today, and watched me get dressed from his cozy spot under the blankets.

"Do you need me to drive you?" He asks as I pull my hair into a ponytail.

I shake my head, "I don't think so. I borrowed Tae's car, so unless he came here and took it back, I've got a ride." I walk up to the bed and press one knee on it for balance as I lean over to plant a sweet kiss to his lips. He tries to deepen it, and he almost succeeds in pulling me into his trap, but I break away finally with a low laugh. "I have to go to work. And you said I couldn't stop shoving my tongue down your throat," I tease.

Yoongi rolls his eyes and I smile, picking up my phone from his nightstand and dropping it into my pocket. Goodbye's and I love you's are said before I'm out of the apartment and down the stairs, heading for Tae's car.


I sat at a tall table in the back of the shop sipping on a coffee when Taehyung calls me. I answer with a sigh, "Hello?"

The day had been slow. Or at least, that's how it felt. I have had my mind on other things all day. Other things being Yoongi.

Sure, I usually didn't want to come to work. Who does? But today I really didn't want to. I'd much rather stay in the warm bed with Yoongi next to me, kissing him and holding him because I can do that now.

It's all so new to me, surely it's new to both of us, how we actually have each other. Mutual feelings were admitted and now--now if I get the urge to kiss Yoongi, I can actually fucking do it.

It was a thought that easily made me giddy like a schoolgirl.

"Hey, up for pizza and games and Jin-hyung's tonight?" Tae asked over the sound of the microwave on his line. What does he do all day? Doesn't he have work and classes??

"What time?"

"Dunno. Just whenever you want. Jin Hyung said that everyone'll get there about 7, though," Tae says.

"Is Yoongi going?"

Taehyung immediately responds, "Yah, would you only hang out with us if Yoongi is there?"

I laugh, "No, I was just wondering."

He sighs, "Yes, Yoongi's coming too. So?"

I let a few beats pass and chime, "Sure. I'll be there."

Chapter Text

The story of how I got the nickname Moon is quite comical, if you compare it to how far mine and Yoongi's relationship has come since then.

Yoongi and I did not get along at first. When Taehyung had introduced me to him, Yoongi was simply aggravating to me. He didn't say much of anything, and when he did, he said it coldly and his words would make me second-guess myself. I would try and start conversations with him, mostly to fill in awkward silence, but it always seemed like he wanted nothing to do with me. We ended up just staying away, accepting that we didn't care for each other.

I had gotten off of the phone with my mother one quiet, rainy night. It was the usual: Her nagging that I needed to get it together.

"You're almost twenty now, Violet. Mrs. Dong's daughter is married and saving money. Why can't you be like that," She had said. It went on and on, but I learned after years of this to tune it out. I knew she was just stressed. She never properly got on her feet after Dad left. I was only 16 then, but I knew she was going to have a hard time financially. He was the only one who really brought money into the family; my mother never got any experience. She opted to stay home and take care of her children.

She never thought her husband would leave her for someone else.

That's why I never fought back, and I never took the things she said to heart. 'She just wants the best for me', I always told myself.

I still needed a drink after our little chats.

Usually, Taehyung would take the bottle of whatever I had gotten my hands on and scold me like a child, saying, "You can't solve things by drinking, pabo."

But Tae wasn't home that night.

It honestly wasn't long after I had begun drinking before someone knocked on the door. But I was already pretty far from sober.

It's not like I was drinking to enjoy the taste or anything.

I had clumsily opened the door, to find Yoongi standing there with a familiar bag in is hand. His eyes raked over my dazed face and then fell onto the bottle of soju still in my hand.

"If it isn't Min Yoongi," I slurred, holding the door open for him.

He took small steps inside and dropped the bag onto the couch. "I just came by to drop Taehyung's bag off."

I made a small grunt of acknowledgement, taking a swig of the bitter liquid before remarking in a slurred sarcastic tone, "You didn't come to see me?"

He had made something between a scoff and a laugh and turned to face me. I strode (stumbled like a baby deer) over to him and furrowed my brows.

"You," I tilted my head. "are like the Moon. I think you're really pretty, but I've never seen the other side of you. You're always orbiting, only showing the one side that you wanna," A hiccup. "you know, 's too bad. I bet you're nice."

He had a tiny grin when he said, "You're pretty interesting, Moon Girl."

The next time I saw him, he just called me Moon. It stuck, so much so that my own brother just started calling me Moonie.

It didn't take long for me and Yoongi to become good friends after that.

Chapter Text

I stumble like a fool over the piles of shoes in the doorway, shaking my head and sighing in aggravated dissapointment once I've regained my balance. Yoongi laughs, gummy grin making an appearance at the not-so-new antics of the boys. I shoot him a pointed glare before shouting out, "I swear, Park Jimin and Kim Taehyung! If you don't stop leaving your shoes in the doorway, I'm gonna shove them down your throat!" By the time I've finished my threat, I've reached the archway to Jin's living room.

Jimin looks up from his spot on the couch and sees me, smiling sheepishly. "Sorry," He squeaks out.

Jin suddenly bursts into a fit of high-pitched laughter, surprising all of us.

He manages to calm himself and giggle out, "Jimin is like, the scariest out of all of us when he's mad, but he looks like a scared puppy when it comes to Moon-ah!"

Jimin pipes up over everyone's laughter almost immediately, "What? She's scary when she's angry!"

The oldest nods his head to that. I poke Jimin's arm as I sit down next to him and chime, "And don't you forget it!"

Taehyung hands me and Yoongi plastic cups full of--I sniff it--alcohol, and crosses the room to pick up the controller. I take a sip, tasting the familiar, bitter taste of beer. I'm just pulling the cup from my mouth when suddenly, Yoongi slides into the spot next to me and wraps my hand in his, taking a sip of his own drink nonchalantly. He even dares to lean his weight against me. My eyes go wide.

I stare at him, but he's watching everyone move around the room, as if it's just second nature to show intimate contact in front of your friends that don't know you've just fucked the night before. Confessed mutual love, even.

Nobody probably notices, a new round of whatever game they're playing starting and drawing almost everyone's attention, so--

"Okay, we know you guys are close, but you might as well be making out on the couch," Hoseok muses, wearing a cut-the-shit face.

"Would you rather we do that?" Yoongi challenges, a quirk in his brow.

My cheeks heat up violently, frantic eyes searching everyone for their reaction. I'm not sure why I'm so scared of everyone finding out, but it was all a little fast nonetheless. Yoongi wasn't someone to speak his personal business whenever, even with his friends. I hadn't expected him to be so forward.

Namjoon's brows jump in surprise and Seokjin studies us silently. Nobody speaks for a solid ten seconds, until the eldest squints his eyes and points an accusing finger. "Wait... are you two...?"

It was painfully obvious, but Yoongi just stared back at his hyung expectantly.

Jin waited for the answer that never came, leaning his head forward and eyes anticipating. He finally gets tired of it and says, "Well, are you?"

"Are we what?" Yoongi doesn't react. Meanwhile, I'm just repeating 'what the fuck is happening?' over and over in my head.

By the time Namjoon croaks out, "Fucks sake, are you two together?", everyone's attention has been drawn.

Yoongi doesn't answer. Instead, he looks over at me, as if suddenly I'm the one who started this and I should be the one to answer Namjoon's question. I give him a what-the-fuck-are-you-doing look and swallow.

He plays innocent, awaiting my answer like everyone else in the room. My eyes drift over to Namjoon, his tan form patiently staring at me.

Are we together?

We made love, confessed, I slept in his bed almost naked. Surely Yoongi wouldn't do all of that with me, his best friend, and wish to keep the relationship strictly sexual. Right?

When my gaze finds Yoongi again, his eyes are softer. They hold some meaning behind the mere surface, but my mind can't process what it is at this time. But his suffocatingly fond stare has me smiling in an instant. Still smiling with my eyes locked onto Yoongi's, I say softly,

"Yeah, we are."

Chapter Text

I followed Yoongi out to his car, my shoes smacking against the pavement. I was a little tired, my body feeling the familiar fatigue of a long day. Taehyung decided he would just stay at Seokjin's, so I invited Yoongi over to hang out, since Jimin will probably be back to their apartment soon. So here we are, getting into his car while my mind traces the night.

After I had so confidently admitted mine and Yoongi's relationship, I was met with a bunch of I told you so's, and even and exchange of bet money between Jimin and Hoseok. I had rolled my eyes, not even that surprised. They pestered both of us with questions, not all of them were easy to dodge. But we eventually managed to wave them off and change the subject.

Something had bothered me, though.

Jungkook sat in the loveseat by Taehyung, and as expected, he didn't show much interest in the topic. Instead, he looked upset. I didn't know how to place the feeling; whether it was anger or sadness or just distaste. Whatever it was, had a sinking feeling resting in my stomach and of course, my mind had been running wild all night.

Did he still have feelings for me? Surely not. Last time I checked, he would gladly set me on fire. So why was he so put off? Jungkook was the one who ended things between us. Without giving me chance for explanation, at that. It doesn't make sense.

"Moon," Yoongi's deep voice yanks me back to here and now. He moves his hand over to my thigh, shooting me a look. "You alright? You're spacing out again, dork."

I sigh, "I'm fine."

I pick up Yoongi's hand from my thigh and hold it with my own. It got fairly late; pizza, games, alcohol and chatter all carried the night on without much notice. The sun had almost set, though it's winter, it was still about nine. Theres a soft glow of lights from the street and from the dashboard. It casts a pretty contrast over everything, especially giving me a chance to admire Yoongi's fantastic hands.

"Why do you like my hands so much?" Yoongi suddenly asks, turning on the road of my apartment building.

My face immediately gets hot, realizing he was watching me basically drool over his hands again. I immediately drop his hand as if it were on fire, stammering out, "I-Is it not normal to hold my boyfriend's hands?"

(wow, Yoongi really is my boyfriend... that hardly seems real)

"Don't play dumb," He says playfully. He unbuckles his sea tbelt, drawing my attention enough to notice that we've pulled into the parking lot. I roll my eyes at him and copy his movements, a few beats behind due to my distraction. I pull myself out of the car and follow him up the stairs.

No words are exchanged as I unlock my door, Yoongi stepping right in without asking, as always. I lock the door behind me since Tae won't be coming home tonight and shuffle into the kitchen for a bottle of water.

I join Yoongi in the living room, passing his legs to sit next to him, but he grips my hips and pulls me down to his lap instead. I simply make myself comfortable as he wraps his arms around my waist and lays his head against me. Something is oddly familiar, easy, just domestic, about the way he holds me and pulls me into him.

I sigh as I sink farther into his chest, setting the water bottle on the coffee table so I can fully enjoy his warmth. He presses his lips against the junction between my neck and shoulder when I slink into him and I can feel the smile he's wearing against my skin.

Yoongi breaks the comfortable silence, "I know I shouldn't feel this way, but..." He falters. "I felt a little, I dunno, prideful when you told everyone. But especially, when it was said for Jungkook to hear..."

He sounds guilty, vulnerable even. I frown and shift on his lap so that I'm sitting sideways and I can turn to face him, legs stretching out on the rest of the couch. I bring a hand up to his cheek and keep it there, saying softly, "You mean, it felt good to tell Jungkook we're together?"

Yoongi takes his bottom lip between his teeth, nodding with hesitation. "I know, that's kind of fucked up, I--"

I cut him off and press a sweet kiss to shut him up. It's effective, and just as he starts to lose himself in it, I pull away. "It's not fucked up, Yoongs. It's... kinda cute," I smile shyly.

Yoongi puts his adorable gummy smile on display, arms tightening where they rest on my waist as he chases my mouth for another kiss. It's slow and deep, forcing the butterflies in my stomach to awaken as they did when we kissed for the first time, when he had (accidentally) confessed his love.

I force myself away from him, knowing where this will lead if I let it go on much longer. He's already put the idea into my head and if he really wants to go there, I'll most likely be sore in the morning because I don't think I'd find the will to refuse. Yoongi's eyes flutter open and stare back at mine as he unravels his arm from my waist, resting his hand on my thigh instead.

My eyes instinctively follow the action, landing on his famous hand. His veins are, to my weakness, popping beautifully where they contrast in color, the blue on pale making them more prominent. His fingers are curled ever-so-slightly to lay across the curve of my thigh.

Without thinking, I reach for said hand and bring it up to my face, curling all fingers, spare his index and middle finger before slipping them into my mouth. Once his lanky fingers hit my tongue, and my lips are wrapped around the digits, I freeze. I'm suddenly back to reality, and reality is that I just shoved Yoongi's fingers into my mouth without a word or warning.

Reluctantly, I flicker my eyes over to his face. His eyes are slightly wide, lips parted in silent surprise as he watches me just hold his hand up to my mouth and leave his fingers stagnant in my mouth.

I'm worried my cheeks might burn off.

I'm about to violently pull him away and apologize, blaming it on sleepiness or something, but there's something nudging the underside of my thigh and it makes me curious.

Was he getting hard from me doing that?

Interest piqued, I boldly slide my tongue between the two fingers, adding a bit of suction. Yoongi's breath hitches. With a wicked smile, I drag his hand away from my mouth and lick my lips.

"...Hands, huh?" He suddenly tries to act tough, as if he isn't half hard under me.

I quirk an eyebrow, "Seems to me you aren't completely opposed to it." To prove my point, I shift on top of him to rub against his cock, restrained by his pants. He gasps and tenses, shooting me a glare.

He clicks his tongue, shocking me when he flips our positions so that my back bounces onto the couch and he hover over me, his legs somehow finding their way between mine to force them apart. "You're testing me today, aren't you?"

He gently rocks his hips into mine. I smirk deviously. "Yeah, what're you gonna do about it? Either put up or shut up," I tease, wetting my lips.

He sighs, a dark and rough one, before saying, "You asked for it."

I'll sleep good tonight.